PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEE  3:28 pm October 23, 2012

Walking Morality Tale Lindsay Lohan Really Milking This Whole Undecided ‘Voter’ Thing

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

undecided voterYou guys, Lindsay Lohan just does NOT know what to do about this whole “presidential race” thing, and it is seriously stressing her out!

Earlier this month chronically underemployed former child star Lindsay Lohan said she was supporting Mitt Romney because “employment is really important right now,” but Politico reports that on Monday she retweeted a message from the Obama campaign: “RT if you’re #ProudOfObama as our commander in chief.” Then, securing her position as the nation’s most undecided voter, Lohan deleted the tweet and declared that no one is more stressed about this historic decision than she is. “Nice work to both @BarackObama and @mittromney…” wrote Lohan. “i’m so relieved that its over. Maybe more than both of you..severe anxiety-God Bless xo L.”

First, Lindsay Lohan, you should see if you can find some sort of stress-reducer, maybe in pill form? Probably in your purse, right there next to the cocaine, heroin, PCP, LSD, mescaline, mushrooms, vodka-tampons and meth.

Then you should shut the fuck up, because you probably aren’t even registered to vote.

The end.

[NewYorkMag]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 249 comments }

nounverb911 October 23, 2012 at 3:30 pm

But she has no problems deciding which Porsche to crash every night.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 3:38 pm

They come in colors!

GhostBuggy October 23, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Everywhere?

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Wow. I thought I'd be the only Hooters fan in here…

GhostBuggy October 23, 2012 at 4:42 pm

You still are; I was referencing the Stones.

Simple J Malarkey October 23, 2012 at 11:41 pm

You're not the only zombie in this street!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 23, 2012 at 4:23 pm

So do the candidates.

gullywompr October 23, 2012 at 4:38 pm

It's like a raaaaaaaaainbow.

ChillBill October 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

"But she has no problems deciding which Porsche to crash owner to blow every night."

There, fixed.

SorosBot October 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Why do people with money like Lohan (or Billy Joel, or Kelsey Grammer, or…) ever drive drunk and/or high? They can afford a cab, or even a private driver.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Why do they get caught with hookers getting blown in an alley or in the back of the car….Oh, Hugh Grant! So disappointing!

It's toxic shame, mostly.

Joel I can get: he lived there, driven there for forty years and probably figured he could handle it in his sleep.

Not so much, it turns out.

UnholyMoses October 23, 2012 at 4:25 pm

He coulda done it in his sleep. He just couldn't do it drunk.*

(* As we all haven't … )

cognachas4paws October 23, 2012 at 3:31 pm

She's a lot like Romney – she doesn't just have one position, she has them ALL.

FlownOver October 23, 2012 at 3:56 pm

I've seen little evidence of Romney in Reverse Cowgirl, but then I don't get around much anymore.

mrpuma2u October 23, 2012 at 4:05 pm

I think that position is the main basis of his "blank check and loose leash for Israel" policy..

HogeyeGrex October 23, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Well, we've seen plenty of the reverse part. Cowgirl may be the only costume he hasn't tried on yet to pander for votes.

GeorgiaBurning October 23, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Oww, that mental image leaves a mark.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 23, 2012 at 5:18 pm

"she doesn't just have one position, she has them ALL. "

In the proper context, this is not necessarily a bad thing.

Chet Kincaid_ October 23, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Nice photo! "I'm Regan and I support your mother sucking cocks in Hell for President!!!"

ibwilliamsi October 23, 2012 at 3:31 pm

I think that Lindsay Lohan is ABSOLUTELY representative of the average "undecided" voter at this point in time.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard October 23, 2012 at 3:48 pm

FABULOUS observation (couldn't resist the typographic closure there).

ChillBill October 23, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Wow, she really thinks that Mitt is going to put her back to work.

weejee October 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

After she completes her 2-year mission to Paraguay. None drugz or booze, too, also.

HogeyeGrex October 23, 2012 at 4:19 pm

I'm not sure the Risen Christ Hisownself could accomplish that task.

Loch_Nessosaur October 23, 2012 at 3:32 pm

She's as relevant as The Donald.

LibertyLover October 23, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Who?

FlownOver October 23, 2012 at 3:57 pm

That guy we always see in Reverse Cowgirl.

Biff October 23, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Reverse Cowgirls get the Blues.

memzilla October 23, 2012 at 3:32 pm

I find this less difficult to fap to.

GunToting[Redacted] October 23, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Yeah, I'd still hit that. I'd be sealed head to toe in Tyvek and would need to ensure all my shots were current, but I'm not proud.

IncenseDebate October 23, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Her biggest debate is whether she should do porn or not.

SorosBot October 23, 2012 at 3:41 pm

She was fired from the porn biopic on Linda Lovelace for doing too many drugs; now that takes commitment.

IncenseDebate October 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

That's gotta be the greatest True Hollywood Story evah!

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 3:45 pm

But she did make the Liz Taylor flic so she could say she was doing a character study.

Designer_Rants October 23, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Layoff, she's METHOD!

hagajim October 23, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Oh – it's coming, it's coming.

Negropolis October 23, 2012 at 10:35 pm

That's what she said.

YouBetcha October 23, 2012 at 3:33 pm

I hear Bamz might be able to hook you up with some good booger sugar, girl. You should definitely hit that.

Barbara_ October 23, 2012 at 3:33 pm

I hear she is going to do a sitcom with Charlie Sheen, "Two and a Half Grams."

caitifty October 23, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Oh come on, their combined brains weigh more than that. Even my dog has 72 grams between his ears..

Esteev October 23, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Would it be like a Battle Royale? Because if there's only 2.5g's left, you know someone's gonna have to die.

UnholyMoses October 23, 2012 at 4:24 pm

That's how much blow the snort at a time, correct?

Or is it the amount of dignity they have remaining?

Biff October 23, 2012 at 4:51 pm

#winning!

EatsBabyDingos October 23, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Like Lindsey Graham, she just wants some Obama blow.

ttommyunger October 23, 2012 at 10:37 pm

You mean they both want to blow Obama, amirite?

Crank_Tango October 23, 2012 at 3:34 pm

I don't care who she votes for, as long as she makes that goddamn sex tape before her transformation into her mother is complete. Also, she needs to do it with red hair. Also, carpet must match drapes.

Ruhe October 23, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Dude, thanks for saying it.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 23, 2012 at 4:26 pm

We were all thinking it.

SorosBot October 23, 2012 at 3:50 pm

It shouldn't take too long with google image search to find the pics of her flashing paparazzi or her Playboy spread.

Crank_Tango October 23, 2012 at 3:56 pm

all sub-standard. I want penetration, fellating, and freckles, preferably shot POV style, but no Paris Hilton night vision. Anal would be a plus.

Toomush_Infer October 23, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Geez, you have standards….

Whatever October 23, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Hear!Hear!

hagajim October 23, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I'm aiming for the full on DP myself

Steverino247 October 23, 2012 at 4:31 pm

With plenty of lube from BP?

Crank_Tango October 23, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Ah, the old "Parent Trap"…

UnholyMoses October 23, 2012 at 4:47 pm

So … basically, you've got the script and just need a producer.

Crank_Tango October 23, 2012 at 5:14 pm

This thing just writes itself, really.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 4:59 pm

I dunno. She practically screams "bondage" to me.

Crank_Tango October 23, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Let's not get bogged down over minor creative differences. Let's see what we get in the can and sort it out in the editing room. As long as the powder is flowing, I think we are good to go.

GunToting[Redacted] October 23, 2012 at 5:31 pm

"Mr. Tango, Ms. Lohan's agent is on line 1…"

bibliotequetress October 23, 2012 at 7:54 pm

And bluegrass music!

Wile E. Quixote October 25, 2012 at 1:05 am

Does your artistic vision include a slow motion bukkake scene and DVDA. If it does you should put it on Kickstarter. I'll donate.

BaldarTFlagass October 23, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Carpet match drapes? I have to imagine that a young like that is going to have bare floors.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 3:35 pm

She looks really hot here, but then I've always liked my chicks fucked up in the head

IncenseDebate October 23, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Crazy in the head, Bachmann in the Congress.

LibertyLover October 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

That's not where you…
I mean… if you are doing it there…
You're kinda missing the mark a little….

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Since when has skullfucking been wrong?????????????

Incitefully_Joe October 23, 2012 at 3:44 pm
BornInATrailer October 23, 2012 at 3:50 pm

A day that will live in infamy.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Fuck.

Now I have to find another body part to fuck?

Hm. I may need some help here.

Esteev October 23, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Snark has no rules. But apparently I'm wrong.

Incitefully_Joe October 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I dunno, in that one, she looks a little too much like Pammy Gellar. Which is to say, middle-aged and completely shitfaced.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Well, you know, Long Island, so…

I've done worse. I've done worse than Pam but none uglier, to be sure.

Esteev October 23, 2012 at 4:23 pm

HEY! Some of us hail from there. We're not all bad. Most of them are. But not all of us.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I'm tawkin' bout da gurls. *pop*

Joshua Norton October 23, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Dear Penthouse,

I never thought this would happened to me…but when I found out Lindsay Lohan was voting for Romney, my brain LITERALLY fell out of my head, and I spontaneously decided to support Romney too. It was very hot.

Toomush_Infer October 23, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Decided, undecided, decided, undecided, dec……Ploooosh!!!!!….

BaldarTFlagass October 23, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Girl, if you're worried about unemployment, there's plenty money to be made blowing collar-popped douches during spring break in Vegas or Daytona.

nounverb911 October 23, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Or the next RNC meeting.

FNMA October 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Wrong gender.

CrunchyKnee October 23, 2012 at 3:36 pm

I'd still hit that.

JudasPeckerwood October 23, 2012 at 3:51 pm

If she didn't hit-and-run you first.

Esteev October 23, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Me three.

Negropolis October 23, 2012 at 10:39 pm

I'd hit that, too – with a restraining order.

BaldarTFlagass October 23, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Did she really spell all that correctly?

sullivanst October 23, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Sorry, who?

AlterNewt October 23, 2012 at 3:36 pm

See above: Undecided voters. Fuck 'em.

PuckStopsHere October 23, 2012 at 3:36 pm

She needs a drink.

Esteev October 23, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Make it a quadruple.

kittensdontlie October 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

I'll have what she is having for voting stress. But who wouldn't she not be voting for, if she couldn't not vote for them?????

FakaktaSouth October 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Okay, my biggest complaint in political life beside campaign finance reform has long been the acceptance of the Undecided Voter. It just absolutely makes no sense that there is a possible way to not be sure between screwing the country sideways with no possibility of a social safety net, war on Russia, vouchers for old people, never retiring OR acting like women exist beyond pregnant kitchen dwelling and insurance paid free birth control, I mean, what? But this girl, if she is the embodiment of all that is the undecided voter, I guess I was wrong. But I bet she just doesn't KNOW about the free pills.

BaldarTFlagass October 23, 2012 at 3:47 pm

It's probably easier to go get a uterus scrape once in a while than to try and remember to take one of those pills every day.

FakaktaSouth October 23, 2012 at 3:50 pm

I don't know man, if you're already taking em by the handful, you know, what's one more? And it ain't like she can't do enough shots to make sure she swallows real good. On the other hand, Lindsey's uterus HAS to have fallen out by now, no? So maybe it's a non-issue.

Chet Kincaid_ October 23, 2012 at 3:56 pm

You don't really ever hear about her fuckin' a whole bunch of people though, do you? She gets off more on crashing cars and blaming the Puerto Rican dude she was with, stuff like that.

FakaktaSouth October 23, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Being a skeeze is not what she is most famous for, what with the fam, coke, cars and rampant alcoholism, but I don't think she got the nickname "Fire-crotch" by keeping it to herself though, do you?

Incitefully_Joe October 23, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Also, the knife play. Don't forget the knife play.

One_who_wanders October 23, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Let me preface this by saying I have no earthly idea if this is the cause, or where I saw this but I saw a story that said that when voters were told about what was on the GOP platform they couldn't believe that a politician would do that (failure of imagination).
A little Google fu finds this from Wonkette's best girl: http://maddowblog.msnbc.com/_news/2012/07/09/1264

ttommyunger October 23, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Undecided: ashamed to admit they will be voting for Bishop Romney.

YouBetcha October 23, 2012 at 3:38 pm

She tweeted Bill Maher later basically asking "Do U Like Me? Circle here– yes/no." You just know Maher broke off a piece of that.

Mojopo October 23, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Remember when she got drunk and e-mailed Al Gore in 2006?

FNMA October 23, 2012 at 3:41 pm

She doesn't. Why should I?

Blunderthing October 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

God I just love it when the rich/famous fall apart in public and everyone rips them to shreds. I'll take a thigh, please.

Lucidamente1 October 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Where does Lindsay stand on horses and bayonets?

MissTaken October 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

She can barely stand on solid ground so I think her standing on a horse with a bayonet is out of the question.

Disassembly October 23, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Probably Vegas, in about 10 years.

BaldarTFlagass October 23, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Or Tijuana.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Donkey ho, T?

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Usually under and behind, respectively.

weejee October 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Looks like Lindsey is one of the sexy piggies in the "Minecraft style" parody of Gangnam sytle.

CommieLibunatic October 23, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Off topic from The Lindsey, but blocky hips shouldn't be able to gyrate like that.

Also, too, who else is glad those creepy green fuckers can't climb ladders anymore?

StealthMuslin October 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Walking Dead needs zombies who don't require a ton of make-up.
Here to help, LiLo.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Y'know, Teh Donald has been trumping (*ahem*) a revelation on Obama that will blow the lid off the race.

I wonder if maybe Lohan is in on it? Or just on it?

CindynEncinitas October 23, 2012 at 5:09 pm

She pitched in on an 8-ball.

Dumbedup October 23, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Nice shot of her at breakfast though.

Generation[redacted] October 23, 2012 at 6:25 pm

You can see she's ready to begin the day's shooting on the set of her upcoming movie.

fawkedifiknow October 23, 2012 at 3:41 pm

This Lindsey Graham should not be listed as an undecided voter – he's a warmongering twit from one of the Carolinas and is in the US Senate, for chrissakes.

Wait, what???

KeepFnThatChicken October 23, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Wrong gay actor.

SorosBot October 23, 2012 at 3:41 pm

It sounds like Lohan's about as sure on who she's gonna vote for as she is her sexual orientation.

weejee October 23, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Drugz & booze have gender?

Esteev October 23, 2012 at 4:20 pm

No, but they sure do fuck ya.

In a good way?

Negropolis October 23, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Hey, the heart wants what the heart wants. And sometimes, that's both a mountain-full of coke and sacks-full of mushrooms, but your agent keeps you on such a short leash that you can only pay for one at a time.

FNMA October 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Still, she was great in Machete. Nekkid too.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Wait. Last I saw her in that movie, she was wearing a habit and wimple????

BaldarTFlagass October 23, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Machete don't tweet.

GunToting[Redacted] October 23, 2012 at 5:43 pm

I'd call that "naked-ish," or maybe nekkid-light. Her prop wig covered the fun bags.

Blueb4sinrise October 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Is this a case of voter fraud?

Esteev October 23, 2012 at 4:26 pm

It's a sign of the collapse of the Grand American Experiment.

James Michael Curley October 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

So Lindsey, who won?

TribecaMike October 23, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Manuel Noriega?

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Blackout tweeting is never a good idea.

SorosBot October 23, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Speaking of Lindsey, just read this on her control-troll-tweeting one of our former editrixes during the debate:
http://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2012/10/Li

KeepFnThatChicken October 23, 2012 at 3:44 pm

If she wants to keep her job at Disney, she'll fucking vote the way the Mouse wants.

Trannysurprise October 23, 2012 at 3:46 pm

BREAKING OT!

Donald Trump to reveal ‘divorce papers of Michelle and Barack Obama’, claims respected financial pundit

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 3:49 pm

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

No doubt Lindsay Lohan is a co-respondent….

MissTaken October 23, 2012 at 3:47 pm

You are such a bunch of Mean Girls. You can't possibly expect her to make a decision as important as Romney vs. Obama without letting her do a line of coke first. Gawd!

SorosBot October 23, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Maybe she could decide better if she traded bodies with Jamie Lee Curtis.

MissTaken October 23, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Nah, she doesn't need to fall into a Parent Trap like that.

SorosBot October 23, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Even if she's Fully Loaded?

MissTaken October 23, 2012 at 4:09 pm

It would be Just My Luck.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Has there ever been a more aptly named film than "Herbie Fully Loaded starring Lindsay Lohan"?

Estproph October 23, 2012 at 3:48 pm

"You guys, Lindsay Lohan just does NOT know what to do about this whole “presidential race” thing, and it is seriously stressing her out! "

What to do? the same thing she always does – a few lines.

kissawookiee October 23, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Shrewd move on the Lindster's part. She knows they're gonna have to re-shoot the Temple Endowment Film when the last VHS cassette finally gives out, and SOMEBODY'S going to have to play Melchizedek.

Callyson October 23, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I read somewhere that a lot of the undecideds end up not voting anyway. FFS, I hope that is true in LiLo's case…

DCBloom October 23, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Really? We're talking LiLo on Wonkette?

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Which part of "Mommyblog" is unclear?

DCBloom October 23, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Oh right…. my bad

SorosBot October 23, 2012 at 4:27 pm

This isn't the first time!
http://wonkette.com/tag/lindsay-lohan

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 23, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Drugs, sex, car crashes and politics. If only she was banging underage boys, she would be perfect.

deanbooth October 23, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Just wait till after the election. It'll be Kardashians 24/7!

Shypixel October 23, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Can you say "Dumb Bitch?" Because I sure can…

Cleopatriot October 23, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I just don't care about her.

CommieLibunatic October 23, 2012 at 3:52 pm

That tweet, coupled with how stark the choices are in this election, makes me want to compress humanity into bricks and build a giant wall.

delaney_blom October 23, 2012 at 3:52 pm

I don't care if you're ACORN or Nathan Sproul's SAC, you're putting Lohan's voter registration through the shredder.

SorosBot October 23, 2012 at 4:06 pm

It doesn't matter; even if she's registered she'll be too high to remember to vote anyway. Why do you think pot decriminalization couldn't pass even in California?

bobbert October 23, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Sadly, that was probably due to oppo from the resellers of medical mj.

OneYieldRegular October 23, 2012 at 3:53 pm

I confess I have no idea who Lindsey Lohan is other than that young woman who always seems to be weeping in a courtroom.

HRH_Maddie October 23, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Ah, to be young and chronically underemployed again…

magic_titty October 23, 2012 at 3:55 pm

I predict she and Romney will be going down on November 6th.

elviouslyqueer October 23, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Rumor has it that Paul Ryan's already been going down on at least one Romney son. Also.

HogeyeGrex October 23, 2012 at 4:26 pm

I read it on the internets so it must be true.

Negropolis October 23, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Definitely Josh. Josh looks like he always gets what he wants.

MC5 October 23, 2012 at 3:55 pm

There's a difference between undecided and drunk.

iburl October 23, 2012 at 3:59 pm

indrunkcidered

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 23, 2012 at 5:17 pm

mmm cider. yum.

GeorgiaBurning October 23, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Give her 10 minutes

Negropolis October 23, 2012 at 10:50 pm

Yes, but it is a difference of degree as opposed to magnitude.

Terry October 23, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Lindsay is a slow motion trainwreck. Everyone BUT Lindsay and her kin can see exactly what's coming for her. I wish that she would decide to punt all this stuff, head out hundreds if not thousands of miles away from her family and the entertainment industry, get off drugs, get some education, and live a comfortable and happy life. You know, however, that that wouldn't happen in a million years.

Negropolis October 23, 2012 at 10:56 pm

I give her two more years if she continues the way she is. She's nearing the age when celebrity body's seem to give out after years of substance abuse. If her body still has more in it than that, she'll certainly end up killing herself and/or someone else in an automobile accident. We've seen this story before, even recently.

Jukesgrrl October 23, 2012 at 3:59 pm

Lie low, LiLo. You're just embarrassing yourself again.

BlueStateLibel October 23, 2012 at 4:00 pm

She deserves to write a five-page piece for "The Atlantic" detailing these concerns. Also, cons are all up in arms because horses are apparently still used in the military, or were, over a decade ago, and there were only about 20 horses used, but wrong still, because.

Wile E. Quixote October 25, 2012 at 1:07 am

If she did it would be more interesting and cogent than anything McMegan McArdle has ever written for them.

LibertyLover October 23, 2012 at 4:03 pm

That's it. I could take all the drinking and the shoplifting and the drugging and even crashing her car and running over people's feet with said car… but now you tell me that she isn't registered to vote?

I totally lost all respect for LiLo.

It's a sad day, but I finally have found a way to quit her….

What will I do to fill my days now? Sit around and read Wonkette? Oh wait…

SorosBot October 23, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I quit Lohan when her breasts succumbed to Shrinking Actress Disorder.

RIP, Lindsey Lohan's breasts (2002-2007).

Incitefully_Joe October 23, 2012 at 4:48 pm

::sniffles:: Never Forget.

neiltheblaze October 23, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Wow. She's sort of a dumb slag, isn't she.

TribecaMike October 23, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Now that you mention it…

SorosBot October 23, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Mommy told me, yes she told me, I'd meet girls like LiLo;
She also told me stay away, you'll never know what you'll catch.

ManchuCandidate October 23, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Super Herp

Incitefully_Joe October 23, 2012 at 4:26 pm

The Ultra Clap.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 23, 2012 at 4:09 pm

I think we are seeing some brilliant 3D chess on the part of the Obama campaign here. Trump is about to announce that Obama is a dealer. Lohan has announced she is undecided. Who do you think is going to go for Obama once she finds out that Obama is a dealer? And with her, all the Gen Ys and coke users in America. Trump's brilliant plan is thwarted, and Obama rides the white line to victory!

QED.

Nothingisamiss October 23, 2012 at 7:47 pm

You're brilliant. Are you a political commentator?

Generation[redacted] October 23, 2012 at 4:09 pm

How was she not on Frank Luntz's panel of undecided voters? Nox Fews really dropped the ball on this one.

Chet Kincaid_ October 23, 2012 at 4:10 pm

You can see all the lyrics to all the songs on "Some Girls" in that face, can't you?

DCBloom October 23, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Yup, every damn one of em

Esteev October 23, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Fish in a barrel comes to mind….

johnnymeatworth October 23, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Hoping to tie her unpaid hotel bills to the National Debt, I see….

An_Outhouse October 23, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Oh dear, which stranger should she fuck tonight?

azeyote October 23, 2012 at 4:19 pm

maybe she should consider who the fuck will get her out of jail the next time she's in and vote for none of the above.

HogeyeGrex October 23, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Cocaine's a hell of a drug.

Esteev October 23, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Can Lindsey be the next debate moderator? If, you know, she's still breathing.

[Editrix, I am hoping she is. For the lulz and such]

Esteev October 23, 2012 at 4:27 pm

OT: Just heard this phrase uttered in my office: "I truly think Romney's got a shot at this."

I need a stiff drink.

DahBoner October 23, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Damn, she looks like she needs some sense fucked into her.

I volunteer. For the team…

Designer_Rants October 23, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Better double wrap it.

mavenmaven October 23, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Now all that is missing is a perspective on the debates from Erin Moran.

T3rbo October 23, 2012 at 4:35 pm

God damn it Lindsay, make up your mind so I know how to vote! I can't be the only one who gets her political newsletter in my inbox every Friday?

Mittens Howell, III October 23, 2012 at 4:38 pm

anxiety / meth rebound. whatever.

TribecaMike October 23, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Herbie The Love Bug's mother is not amused. http://www.thesamba.com/vw/archives/dic/pix/brown

Radiotherapy October 23, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Smoke it or snort it?

Chet Kincaid_ October 23, 2012 at 4:43 pm

"Where is the bartender hiding the Precious?!"

Indiepalin October 23, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Lohan for Congress – Because Xanax Doesn't Grow on Trees

Biff October 23, 2012 at 4:47 pm

OH for fuck's sake, this woman…

Blueb4sinrise October 23, 2012 at 4:48 pm

'The Ballad of Lilo'
by Wonketteers

Lie low, LiLo.
You're just embarrassing yourself again.
Blackout tweeting is never a good idea.

Sorry, who?
Sorry, who?
Sorry, who?
Sorry, who?

But who wouldn't she not be voting for, if she

couldn't not vote for them.
Which stranger should she fuck tonight?

Sorry, who?
Sorry, who?
Sorry, who?
Sorry, who?

Blueb4sinrise October 23, 2012 at 4:49 pm

She's as relevant as The Donald.
Hoping to tie her unpaid hotel bills to the National

Debt
I wish that she would decide to punt all this stuff
and live a comfortable and happy life

Sorry, who?
Sorry, who?
Sorry, who?
Sorry, who?

Ah, to be young and chronically underemployed

again…
There's a difference between undecided and drunk.

Sorry, who?
Sorry, who?
Sorry, who?
Sorry, who?

Her biggest debate is whether she should do porn or

not.
I find this less difficult to fap to

Sorry, who?
Sorry, who?
Sorry, who?
Sorry, who?

Sharkey October 23, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Skatta noosh, Skatta noosh, will you do the fandango?

Incitefully_Joe October 23, 2012 at 4:51 pm

My roommate had gotten really into The Long Island Medium a while back.

I still haven't forgiven her.

CindynEncinitas October 23, 2012 at 5:05 pm

So is that reality show really real? Cuz if Gallery Girls isn't, I'm getting a Kindle.

TribecaMike October 23, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Needs more… uh…

On second thought, she's had more than enough already.

T3rbo October 23, 2012 at 4:52 pm

OT: who has two thumbs and just early voted for Obama/Biden?

THIS FUCKING GUY!!!!

MissTaken October 23, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Yay!

T3rbo October 23, 2012 at 5:04 pm

FUCK! I thought it was what Lindsay wanted, now I see this? What do I do????!!!!

Lohan Obama Tweet Has Been Deleted

MissTaken October 23, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Do what Lindsay would do: an 8-ball and crash a car.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 23, 2012 at 5:04 pm

woot!

starfanglednut October 23, 2012 at 10:11 pm

You done us proud, T3.

Sharkey October 23, 2012 at 4:59 pm

You spelled "TAIL" wrong in the headline.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 5:00 pm

I know. And sadly, they've aged as badly as I have.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 23, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Oh what the hell..

Hey Gang! You know who ELSE was a failed artist and had a desperate need for attention?

Generation[redacted] October 23, 2012 at 5:11 pm

The guy who did Dead Breitbart as Assassin's Creed?

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Yea. Sorry about tha–

HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!

JackObin October 23, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Who the fuck is Lindsay Lohan? Wait, don't tell me. She's a "singer" covered with tatoos.

Nostrildamus October 23, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Lindsay, listen to your betters.

TribecaMike October 23, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Wait a sec, Monday was election day? Goddamnit!!!

calliecallie October 23, 2012 at 6:18 pm

“i’m so relieved that its over. Maybe more than both of you..severe anxiety"

She's more anxious about the debate than either of them? Srsly? No wonder she can't get work. Just memorize the fucking lines (or talking points) and give a damn good performance. Kind of like live theater or improv. OMG

CommieDad October 23, 2012 at 7:18 pm

Please tell me she's voting for Mitt. Some support you just don't want.

LibrarianX October 23, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Is this Lindsey person someone important?

DahBoner October 23, 2012 at 10:10 pm

vodka-tampons

Actually, right before that picture was taken I was telling her that I could read her mind. And she was like nhuhuh. And I was like, OK…let's see. you're thinking you love me and find me irresistable. And she was like laughing and said double nhuhuh. And I was like, oh, uh, yeah, I always get the thought for "love" and "lust" confused in my mind.

And then we both laughed and did some cocaine, heroin, PCP, LSD, mescaline, mushrooms, vodka-tampons and meth….

Negropolis October 23, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Lindsay is my age, yet she looks to have lived many lifetimes more than myself, which just blows my mind since she is so incredibly wealthy.

ttommyunger October 23, 2012 at 10:45 pm

I anxiously await her next syllable with breathless anticipation.

owhatever October 23, 2012 at 11:47 pm

I don't want to waste any more of life's precious minutes even thinking about Lindy Loman or whatever its name is.

zedbot October 24, 2012 at 12:00 am

I thought it said, "….Walking Mortality Tale".

I'll be right sooner or later (sooner).

editor October 24, 2012 at 3:29 am

there you have it. lindsey lohan IS america.

LibertyLover October 23, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Toes… toes are nice….just ask Dick Morris.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 4:03 pm

They're kinda small…

Chet Kincaid_ October 23, 2012 at 4:05 pm

You're right, that could be the medical term for her condition. Is Samuel L. Jackson gonna have to chain a bitch to the radiator and play some slide guitar again!?

prommie October 23, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Sounds hot, which movie was this? Ah hell, I know how to finger-punch the information box my own self.

LibertyLover October 23, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Perfect fit, then? ;-)

FakaktaSouth October 23, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Black Snake Moan, but it wasn't Lidssss, it's better, it was Christina Ricci! In Daisy Dukes! Crazy Marilyn Manson tail! woop woop! And Justin Timberlake, oddly, but yes, on the list of things to watch it goes.

Chet Kincaid_ October 23, 2012 at 4:14 pm
Chet Kincaid_ October 23, 2012 at 4:17 pm

It turned out to be a rather wholesome movie. What a damned bait-n-switch!!

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 4:19 pm

I'm used to playing my organ in a cathedral.

LibertyLover October 23, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Slide whistles don't make that much noise.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 4:35 pm

That's why I'm used to big venues

Esteev October 23, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Ah, yes. The laides of Long Island. There are no words…

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 4:45 pm

D'Oh! I forgot about that one…

SorosBot October 23, 2012 at 11:50 pm

I'm still wondering what actor meant there.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 4:46 pm

But there's hair

Oh so fucking much hair.

Biff October 23, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Nice v-word ya got there…

Biff October 23, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Bayonet fixed and ready, Sir!

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Two crews, one skank.

starfanglednut October 23, 2012 at 10:02 pm

You guys are all disgusting !

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