nah it is probably about his grades

Trump ‘Bombshell’ Probably That Barack Obama Is A Black Drug Dealer, Obviously

Add to Flipboard Magazine.

They call him MISTER Scoop.We have decided, without any evidence whatsoever (SOUND FAMILIAR?), that this story about Barack Obama being a total black drug dealer is the one Donald Trump is October Surprising tomorrow. How do we know this? WE DO NOT. But it does say “Trumped-Up Charges” right there in Radar’s headline, and that is what we in the biz like to call “a hint.” Let us learn more about your boyfriend, America’s Drug Dealer in Chief!

What you got, Radar?

A man claiming to be a close pal to President Obama during college made contact with Republican operatives recently, ready to go public with claims that Obama used and sold cocaine in college, is reporting exclusively.

The operatives tried to spread the story through the media and the Romney campaign, a source close to the situation told Radar. […]

“The people he is involved with have produced other credible information that is damaging to national Democratic figures in the past few years.”

Operatives close to the Romney campaign were contacted and rejected the information, the source told Radar.

Sadly, the Romney camp was like “nah mang” but happily Donald Trump (presumably) was like FUK YEH. So that is all very interesting, Barack Obama getting schoolchildren hooked on drugs (most likely), but what we really want to know is what was the “other credible information that [was] damaging to national Democratic figures in the past few years”?

  • Democrat Mark Foley liked boys.
  • Democrat Darrell Issa loves to commit arson.
  • Democrat Duke Cunningham loves to go to prison.


Sponsored Intermission


About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • BaldarTFlagass

    He was probably in league with the British Royal Family.
    —Lyndon La Rouche

    • GhostBuggy

      Holy shit, don't even mention him. The LaRouchites will be in here like lightning, and that's an infestation that lingers.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Whatever happened to those nutbags, anyhow? They've sort of vanished from the radar screens; either they've gone stealth, or crashed and burned.

        • HistoriCat

          They're still around but they just don't have the crazy going on like they did before. I think most of the crazy people have migrated to the Republican party.

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    Democrat Larry Craig has a wide stance.

    • widestanceromance

      And no romance.

      • Esteev

        There ain't no time for roma… ICWYDT!

        • widestanceromance

          Tap, tap, tap. . .

          • Esteev

            …I'm going to look for another bathroom…

      • Callyson

        Not without finance–girlfriend's got bills to pay.

  • OkieDokieDog

    As much as I dislike George Will, I will always thank him for giving us the perfect description of The Donald: Bloviating ignoramus.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I'm waiting for Wonkette to jump on George Will's reference to Romney and Obama last night as "a couple of Nellies." Diane Sawyer had perhaps her most likable moment ever when she did a spit take, turned to the camera and requested that any mail concerning George Will's comments be sent directly to Will himself.

    • pdiddycornchips

      That's hardly the best Donald description. Here's a few of my favs without attribution because I'm fucking lazy.

      A gold plated, walking, tweeting, phallic symbol

      Ginormous dickhead

      The combover in chief

      Captain Overcompensation McSmall Dick

      • emmelemm

        Where's the love for short-fingered vulgarian?

    • SigDeFlyinMonky

      Looks like a brisket left in the Death Valley sun topped with a road kill rat.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Speaking of the war on drugs, when will Mitt Rmoney and Donald Trump give up their addictions to spray-on tans? It's not cool, guys.

    • nounverb911

      Skin cancer is people too, also.

    • mille derps

      They are jealous of Obama's tan.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Last night, on both my computer monitor and my television, Romney's skin appeared to be the same color as the President's. Perhaps it's an effort to deny that the teabaggers are racist.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Oooh, this guy must've read Obama's book.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    I bet it's the same guy that claimed to be giving (or was it getting?) BJs in the back of a limo with Barry, like about this time in 2008.

    So anyway, meh. Reruns.

    • DemmeFatale

      Yeah, meh.
      This is SO 2008.

      (I knew the Donald was a dickhead, but I didn't know then what a HUGE dickhead he really was!)

  • BaldarTFlagass

    The informant was George W Bush. Black guys can get you the best coke, heh heh.

    • UW8316154

      And that's not ALL they can do!

      / wink wink /

  • FNMA

    Why did you have to post that picture of a bleeding hemorrhoid now? I'm trying to eat lunch here.

  • memzilla

    Democrat Richard Nixon used dirty tricks against Republican George McGovern.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      And that dirty Dem Dick also bombed the shit out of Cambodia and Laos without telling the American public.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Woah woah woah….hold the phone! You don't know your wingnuts, mem….it goes like this: Democrat Richard Nixon used dirty tricks against Communist Party candidate George McGovern (whom Ronald Reagan later secretly assassinated in 1980 while scaring Ayatollah Khomeini to release thems hostages with his old man powers to keep 'Merika safe) while good Republican George Wallace got shot by a psycho-hippy-communist angry black man named Barack Hussein Obama.

      • DemmeFatale

        I'll never forget how the US let the Ayatollah elect our next president.
        (Yes, I'm THAT old!)

        • Willardbot9000_V2.5

          Yes…the media does love its horse-races…I think it's interesting that recent study which demonstrates exactly what effect this bullshit has on shaping perceptions RIGHT after a debate. I mean, Bamz wasn't at his best in debate 1, but the liberal side of the media, forget the wingnut side was treating him like he made fart sounds with his mouth. In 2004 Dubya was MUCH, MUCH worse in debate 1 and yet the media wasn't nearly as apoplectic in dismissing his performance. There's no secret as to how the Rombot got its bounce…

  • snarkelle

    A trump in the rump produces copious amounts of santorum.

  • Goonemeritus

    From that pink shirt I’m guessing Mr. Trump Bombshell has to do with how Barry has enriched his personal fantasy life.

    • CindynEncinitas

      You know he's in his spank bank…

  • nounverb911

    Didn't Trump finance some of his buildings by selling drugs or am I thinking of that guy John DeLorean?

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      No…he sold hair. That's why he wears a dead squirrel on his head now…because he loves Merikan freedumz and independenzes and also bootstrappin' so much he'd rather sell his amazing lions mane of hair thereby going bald rather than accept any gubmint handouts, of course.

    • CindynEncinitas

      You're thinking of Charles Keating, bro.

    • DemmeFatale

      I seem to recall that DeLorean tried to prop up his car company with cocaine sales.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I heard that Obama smoked the weed once, too. And totes inhaled.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      "Because that was the point."

    • Esteev

      Oh helllllz yeahhhh

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    …and Democrat John Edwards loves strange.

    (edited to be less of a 7th grader)

    • Negropolis

      Ain't that just the best descriptor of Rielle Hunter you ever did she? Strange, indeed.

  • ckinsobe

    I clicked on that Radar link and after reading the comments I feel icky. Thanks.

    • One_who_wanders

      Never read the comments. Ever. It is scary out there.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Never get out of the Wonkette. Absolutely goddamn right.

  • noodlesalad

    O, that Noble Romney campaign, scorning a DEALER of rumors, and knowing in goode faith that none of their conservative comrades & SuperPACs would darest CRACK their foundations by working with such BASE rogues. Hast ever a candidate been as pure as the driven SNOW?

  • AlterNewt

    But does he have any cocaine now?

    Well…DOES HE?!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Ya know, the fact that I'm out? That's the bad thing about cocaine.

    • Dumbedup

      He didn't for the first debate, but then he stocked up.

  • SorosBot

    I think the bombshell is that Donald Trump hasn't been in the headlines for a while, and wants attention.

    • bikerlaureate

      Our respectable, traditional media won't feed the troll. They're above such machinations. Gosh, it's a beautiful October-surprise day in Amercia.

      • Willardbot9000_V2.5

        Yes…and they surely won't stoop to repeating Steve Schmidt's bullshit instead of admitting that Romney is a fucking cynical, principle-free and calculating chameleon weathervane who spent 4 years criticizing EVERY foreign policy decision of Bamz until last night when he SUDDENLY jumped on board with everything Bamz has done. Certainly the media would actually portray a Republican as having unbelievably lousy character since they love repeating GOP memes about Democrats…oh, Romney "helped" himself with that performance MSN? I stand corrected…

        • Jukesgrrl

          Steve really sounded desperate last night, didn't he? Why does he still carry water for the GOTP? They obviously won't give him a decent job or he wouldn't be at MSNBC with the other pandering reject Michael Steele.

          • Willardbot9000_V2.5

            True…want to know what else pissed me off about that debacle? Well…Tweety ripping Schmidt a new asshole for saying his phony crap was funny but the standards Republicans have to abide by versus Democrats. Every Republican candidate since Raygun gets a "Reagan Pass" which amounts to "he spelled his own name correctly minus prompter? Okay he's presidential material" I mean Miffed is an eastern establishment blue blood…his father was the CEO of AMC and a governor; Miffed is well educated and articulate…there's no reason that shit performance should have been given kudos. Bamz conversely came from the lower-middle class and yet Miffed gets told he "did well" when he obviously didn't just because he didn't pick his nose on national teevee? What the fuck is that shit? This lust for a horserace shit is getting really old…

          • Willardbot9000_V2.5

            Bamz got torn apart by the media for being lazy in the first debate establishing Mitt-mentum (thank you fuckheads great and small especially Ed Schultz and Tweety) and Miffed was so lousy and ill-prepared for this last debate he kept dragging out his same five talking points on the economy from debates 1 and 2…and his shit didn't get jumped for it. Pisses me off…the complete lack of fairness and equal treatment in this media narrative.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Omarosa wore it better?

  • midnighttoker69

    So, do I understand this correctly? This story is such bullshit that Romney doesn't want it, FOX doesn't want it … but it's not too crazy for Donald, AKA Boy Blunder? I'm a little sad he didn't run for pres … the hair jokes alone would have been worth it.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Donald just thinks that Mitt and Fox can't handle the truth.

    • Terry

      Let's hope its so batshit crazy that it finally destroys the remaining tatters of The Donald's reputation.

      • midnighttoker69

        Maybe he has video of Obama and Hillary rolling up the real birth certificate to do some lines.

        • Negropolis

          Silly, they use the Constitution do do lines of coke.

      • CindynEncinitas

        It never will. As long as he can roll up a $20, someone will do him a solid and stick a microphone in his face once in a while.

    • Dildeaux

      Wouldnt read too much into the romney doesnt want it assertion. He would use surrogates to break a salacious story anyway.

  • Esteev

    Buy From Barack!

  • PeaceWithHonor

    Finally the Obama hermaphrodite story comes out.

    • GeorgiaMike

      So does that mean he could have the butt sechs with himself?

      • PeaceWithHonor

        Yes, while facing Mecca.

        • Esteev

          Holy shit!

        • Negropolis

          I read that as "while facing Macaca." lol

  • zumpie

    Needz moar YUUGE and "the blahs" to make a real impact

  • Hammiepants


    This is how I picture how any "intelligence" is communicated in the Trump camp.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Barack Obama getting schoolchildren hooked on drugs (most likely)"

    Now he just wants to get all Americans addicted to welfare.

  • Gratuitous World

    Trump breaking news that black kid allowed into elite universtiy!!!

  • asterixaverni

    I'm not sure anyone here is insane enough to guess at what The Donald will bust out with tomorrow.

    • mille derps

      Forged records from Columbia U?

    • BadKitty904

      Bamz *isn't* part Native American?

  • ph7

    I said God Elect, God Elect the pusher man!

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Hoyt Axton is smiling down on you from heaven.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    I had never seen a living, breathing colostomy bag before. Does it always wear white on pink?

    • rickmaci

      Yes, because brown goes well with either.

  • IncenseDebate

    Barack's white great granddad bayonetted Mitten's great granddad in France during WWI over who got to do blow off Barbara Bush's breasts.

  • el_donaldo

    What did I just say, huh? Huh?

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      Did you get stuck in the "must be approved" queue? And were you a smart-ass about John Edwards? Because I was. And my post is missing….

      • el_donaldo

        Thank god, no. I'm trying to link to my comment from earlier today when I said that Bammers is handing out fat baggies of weed for votes. But Intense Debate doesn't like comment links when the comments for a post run more than a single page. Dammit.

        What did you say about sleazy John Edwards that tripped up your comment?

        • KeepFnThatChicken

          That he loves ussypay.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I'm still waiting for news that the Donald was caught in flagrante delicto with a non-consenting llama. Because at least that would be more believable than this bullshit "bombshell."

    • AlterNewt

      Pics, or….no…changed my mind.

    • prommie

      Its completely beleivable that the Llama did not consent. What llama would?

  • Terry

    The Donald is a birther. This is going to be about Obama "disappearing" in college, a week or two were the guy doesn't remember seeing him, and thus Obama has to be a secret Kenyan muslin.

  • slithytoves

    Who the hell didn't sell drugs in college?

    • kittensdontlie

      Neglected plant containers in college libraries can be great places to grow a little medicinal weed. Errr,… a friend told me that.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I tried to deal, but I was my own best customer. By the same logic, I will never own a bar.

      • slithytoves


      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        You [and I, quite frankly] will never own a bar for more than one day, you mean?

  • GeorgiaMike

    I refuse to call Trumpers the Comic Insult Human by his name "The Donald." That would imply that he was the greatest Donald ever. Not a chance:

    1. Mister Duck
    2. Mister O'Connor
    3. Mister Sutherland

    The best I could do for Trumpers is "A Donald."

    • el_donaldo

      And definitely not "el Donaldo." There is only one hombre who can fill that name.

  • HempDogbane

    HALF Black Drug Dealer. Trump can't get anything right.

    • Esteev

      Might as well be full-on blah.

    • Negropolis

      Since when has half-black ever been anything in America?

  • rickmaci

    Democrat David Vitter has a thing going with New Orleans prostitutes.
    Democrat John Ensign allegedly coerced a married office worker for sex.
    Democrat Scott DesJarlais pressured his mistress to get an abortion.
    Democrat Eric Cantor and 7 other Democrats went on a drunken skinny dip in the Jordan River while on a Congressional junket to Israel.

    This is fun.

  • deanbooth

    I'm surprised the headline wasn't "White Powder!"

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      For the illiterate Amercian public, that would slightly read as if Romney was racist.

  • Fox n Fiends

    Cocaine is the drug of choice on Wall Street. Great work, Trumpy.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Didn't Megyn Kelly's husband write a "novel" about that?

      • Esteev

        Must be some real good shit for him to have married that harpy.

        • Generation[redacted]

          When he popped the question, there were obviously going to be some questions, about the questions.

  • prommie

    I remember the original version of this movie, when it was one of Clinton's college roommate saying the same thing. That one bombed at the box office. But hey, with the fabulous, always Klassy Trump name behind this one, its sure to do boffo biz, huh?

  • BornInATrailer

    OT, but how is it possible we don't yet have a story about Mann Coulter tweeting Wonkette's favorite word?

    • PubOption

      It's in Wonkville.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Does anybody know what the purpose of Wonkville is? I mean, it's like Wonkette, but without the clever write-up by the editors, and with just about zero clever comments. I don't get it; guess I must have missed the roll-out.

        • Esteev

          It makes the editors' jobs easier. They don't have to hunt for stories when they have Wonkvillians doing it for them! Open-sourced snark!

          • starfanglednut

            Cuts down on the email tips, probably.

        • PubOption

          Articles occasionally appear on the main site after they have been posted at Wonkville, the tips section seems to be more of a black hole.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    A lesser -known 'Cocaine Blues' for your pleasure.

    Luke Jordan

    • AlterNewt

      "The doctor say 'quit it' but he didn't say when."

  • BadKitty904

    I suspect his "bombshell" will be that Obama did it in the conservatory with the candlestick.

  • Canmon

    This will only make me think less of him if he cut it with flour.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Or baby laxative.

    • iburl

      only the finest Kenyan rat poison

  • Tundra Grifter

    Chump's bombshell is that President Obama is a Blah?

    Who knew?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Is it wrong of me to harbor a fantasy that all of those New Yorkers who got kicked out of their places so that Donald Trump could condo-ize Manhattan will one day hunt him down and eat him?

  • mavenmaven

    This would mean that Obama does have business experience!

    • rickmaci

      And understands the problems faced by job creators who are buried under an avalanche of government regulations.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Like visits from the police?

        • GeorgiaBurning

          Police= Armed unionized government bureaucrats!

    • MinAgain

      He's a job creator!

  • hagajim

    So if Barry is our Drug Dealer in Chief, does that make The Donald our national Douchebag in Chief…or is that Chief Douchebag.

  • poorgradstudent

    Just to be clear; this is supposed to be a reason to vote AGAINST Obama?

    Hook me up, Mr. President!

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I'm still betting on Obama being the clone of Malcolm X.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Malcolm XI?

  • weejee

    The Donald is a pooper scooper?

  • Estproph

    Why is Trump wearing a pink dickie?

  • mille derps

    Hey, Mr. Policeman, please don't take my stuff
    It cost me a 20 dollar bill & it's probably not enough
    to get me through Election Day…

  • UnholyMoses

    Wait — a blah guy with POWDER cocaine and not crack?

    Dog whistling: They need a refresher.

    • Esteev

      Don't be hasty! We haven't said it isn't crack.

    • ckinsobe

      He was an ELITIST drug dealer. duh.

      • CindynEncinitas

        It was probably "freebase" even. Ooh! Fancy!

        • UnholyMoses

          Ooh! Something that takes too long and wastes perfectly good blow!

          Or, uh, so someone once told me back in the 80s.

  • pdiddycornchips

    Paging Dr. Corsi, Dr. Jerome Corsi… The crazy is about to start without you. Please get in touch with Golden Member before it's too late to get in on the action.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Still waiting for the Larry Sinclair* scandal to hit.

    *snorted coke and had gay sex with Obamer

    • Negropolis

      In the back of a limo and in fancy hotels, no less. How uppity!

  • magic_titty

    This just cements his belief in the free enterprise system and should be a boon to his campaign.

  • Cody

    never suspected

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Next Trump is going to say he murdered a hooker while out to grab a gallon of chocolate milk.

  • Esteev

    Omar from The Wire is based on Obama's "community organizing activities" in Chicago.

    • Pres.Beeblebrox

      Omar comin', yo!

      Tomorrow, The Donald is gonna drop the news equivlent of a 20 gallon trash bag full of crack out of the second floor of a vacant Baltimore row house right at our feet.

    • DemmeFatale

      "These my daddy's tools."
      (Such a bad ass.)

  • docterry6973

    Barack Obama: Entrepreneur.

    • Esteev

      He sold that.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        He laid that out on the mirror.

        • Esteev

          He cut that with Ajax 'cause F**** tha white man!

  • Cleopatriot

    So the President has a background in small business.

  • MinAgain

    Maybe Barry sold coke to George W.

  • GregComlish

    President Bush keeps dropping by the White House hoping that Barry is going to help him score some blow.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Young Barack had better taste than to hang out in Houston, Texas.

  • ElPinche

    Your president likes to ride shirtless on horses? Sounds like a pussy. My president is a Kenyan Marxist, Chicago thug, Communist Muslim, elitist, homosexual drug dealer named Hitler who smokes his own shit and shoots terrorists in the face.

    • starfanglednut

      USA! USA! USA!

    • CindynEncinitas

      Fuckin-ay-right-eo bitch!

    • Jukesgrrl

      For the WIN. Now there's an October Surprise I will talk about.

    • Negropolis

      Put that in your pipe and smoke it, World.

      My president is one bass-ass mutha – shut yo mouth!

  • Callyson

    other credible information = what a bunch of idiots and assholes said.

  • bfddad

    Trump continues to act like a child with something to say, waving his hand, ooh, ooh, ooh, listen to me. But everytime he says something or builds something, it's gold plated garbage. Why won't he learn?

    • Jukesgrrl

      He's a sociopath.

    • DemmeFatale

      He's an attention whore.

      (Your avatar is lethally cute.)

  • RufusTFirefly

    Obama definitely has my vote!

  • DahBoner

    If you want to get warm, down on the farm.


  • LibertyLover

    Barack is probably totally gonna be on Trump's crappy show… the Donald's Apprentice or some such thing.

  • oenspiek

    So, the Donald is outgassing again. What a blowhard.

  • MissNancyPriss

    Speaking of drugs, I just watched all 4 1/2 seasons of Breaking Bad in 3 months and feel like I have spent that time actually doing meth.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Really? I haven't sat down with that one yet. Did you clean house more than usual? Seems like it might be a nice substitute, and no rotten teeth either.

    • DemmeFatale

      Is Gus Fring unbelievable or what?

      The actor actually smiled on a promo (out of character), and I freaked out!

  • Jukesgrrl

    He's just dying to go on TV and say, "Barack Obama, you're fired!" They wouldn't let him do it at the convention, but he's going to get his way, no matter what he has to do.

  • DocChaos

    Jesus, how recent is that picture. He'll be done morphing into Sheldon Adelson by election day at this rate.

  • bibliotequetress

    Is the surprise that Donald's hair is a hologram? I think so.

  • ttommyunger

    Just the mention of Donald Trump makes me feel all bayonettee.

  • TribecaMike

    So D.C. Douglas, the announcer of the insurance giant Geiko's ads, gets fired for one snarky voicemail, but Trump continues to be on NBC while constantly and maliciously libeling the President of the United States?

    In Trump and NBC's world, bullshit walks and talks.

  • Negropolis

    I heard that the Romney boys are totally cooking meth in their parents La Jolla mansion in the car elevator.

  • Dildeaux

    The Donald has a new show coming out in two weeks. He did the same thing the last time he had a show on deck.

    It cant be the divorce thingy. Has to be a drug selling charge furthered by an untrustworthy liar who is not named mitt romney.

  • yesyouam

    If Trump will show us what he looks like without his rug, we'll donate $5M to charity.