nah it is probably about his grades

Trump ‘Bombshell’ Probably That Barack Obama Is A Black Drug Dealer, Obviously

They call him MISTER Scoop.We have decided, without any evidence whatsoever (SOUND FAMILIAR?), that this story about Barack Obama being a total black drug dealer is the one Donald Trump is October Surprising tomorrow. How do we know this? WE DO NOT. But it does say “Trumped-Up Charges” right there in Radar’s headline, and that is what we in the biz like to call “a hint.” Let us learn more about your boyfriend, America’s Drug Dealer in Chief!

What you got, Radar?

A man claiming to be a close pal to President Obama during college made contact with Republican operatives recently, ready to go public with claims that Obama used and sold cocaine in college, is reporting exclusively.

The operatives tried to spread the story through the media and the Romney campaign, a source close to the situation told Radar. […]

“The people he is involved with have produced other credible information that is damaging to national Democratic figures in the past few years.”

Operatives close to the Romney campaign were contacted and rejected the information, the source told Radar.

Sadly, the Romney camp was like “nah mang” but happily Donald Trump (presumably) was like FUK YEH. So that is all very interesting, Barack Obama getting schoolchildren hooked on drugs (most likely), but what we really want to know is what was the “other credible information that [was] damaging to national Democratic figures in the past few years”?

  • Democrat Mark Foley liked boys.
  • Democrat Darrell Issa loves to commit arson.
  • Democrat Duke Cunningham loves to go to prison.



About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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    1. GhostBuggy

      Holy shit, don't even mention him. The LaRouchites will be in here like lightning, and that's an infestation that lingers.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        Whatever happened to those nutbags, anyhow? They've sort of vanished from the radar screens; either they've gone stealth, or crashed and burned.

        1. HistoriCat

          They're still around but they just don't have the crazy going on like they did before. I think most of the crazy people have migrated to the Republican party.

  1. OkieDokieDog

    As much as I dislike George Will, I will always thank him for giving us the perfect description of The Donald: Bloviating ignoramus.

    1. OneYieldRegular

      I'm waiting for Wonkette to jump on George Will's reference to Romney and Obama last night as "a couple of Nellies." Diane Sawyer had perhaps her most likable moment ever when she did a spit take, turned to the camera and requested that any mail concerning George Will's comments be sent directly to Will himself.

    2. pdiddycornchips

      That's hardly the best Donald description. Here's a few of my favs without attribution because I'm fucking lazy.

      A gold plated, walking, tweeting, phallic symbol

      Ginormous dickhead

      The combover in chief

      Captain Overcompensation McSmall Dick

  2. BlueStateLibel

    Speaking of the war on drugs, when will Mitt Rmoney and Donald Trump give up their addictions to spray-on tans? It's not cool, guys.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      Last night, on both my computer monitor and my television, Romney's skin appeared to be the same color as the President's. Perhaps it's an effort to deny that the teabaggers are racist.

  3. Lascauxcaveman

    I bet it's the same guy that claimed to be giving (or was it getting?) BJs in the back of a limo with Barry, like about this time in 2008.

    So anyway, meh. Reruns.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      And that dirty Dem Dick also bombed the shit out of Cambodia and Laos without telling the American public.

    2. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Woah woah woah….hold the phone! You don't know your wingnuts, mem….it goes like this: Democrat Richard Nixon used dirty tricks against Communist Party candidate George McGovern (whom Ronald Reagan later secretly assassinated in 1980 while scaring Ayatollah Khomeini to release thems hostages with his old man powers to keep 'Merika safe) while good Republican George Wallace got shot by a psycho-hippy-communist angry black man named Barack Hussein Obama.

        1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

          Yes…the media does love its horse-races…I think it's interesting that recent study which demonstrates exactly what effect this bullshit has on shaping perceptions RIGHT after a debate. I mean, Bamz wasn't at his best in debate 1, but the liberal side of the media, forget the wingnut side was treating him like he made fart sounds with his mouth. In 2004 Dubya was MUCH, MUCH worse in debate 1 and yet the media wasn't nearly as apoplectic in dismissing his performance. There's no secret as to how the Rombot got its bounce…

  4. Goonemeritus

    From that pink shirt I’m guessing Mr. Trump Bombshell has to do with how Barry has enriched his personal fantasy life.

  5. nounverb911

    Didn't Trump finance some of his buildings by selling drugs or am I thinking of that guy John DeLorean?

    1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      No…he sold hair. That's why he wears a dead squirrel on his head now…because he loves Merikan freedumz and independenzes and also bootstrappin' so much he'd rather sell his amazing lions mane of hair thereby going bald rather than accept any gubmint handouts, of course.

  6. noodlesalad

    O, that Noble Romney campaign, scorning a DEALER of rumors, and knowing in goode faith that none of their conservative comrades & SuperPACs would darest CRACK their foundations by working with such BASE rogues. Hast ever a candidate been as pure as the driven SNOW?

  7. SorosBot

    I think the bombshell is that Donald Trump hasn't been in the headlines for a while, and wants attention.

    1. bikerlaureate

      Our respectable, traditional media won't feed the troll. They're above such machinations. Gosh, it's a beautiful October-surprise day in Amercia.

      1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

        Yes…and they surely won't stoop to repeating Steve Schmidt's bullshit instead of admitting that Romney is a fucking cynical, principle-free and calculating chameleon weathervane who spent 4 years criticizing EVERY foreign policy decision of Bamz until last night when he SUDDENLY jumped on board with everything Bamz has done. Certainly the media would actually portray a Republican as having unbelievably lousy character since they love repeating GOP memes about Democrats…oh, Romney "helped" himself with that performance MSN? I stand corrected…

        1. Jukesgrrl

          Steve really sounded desperate last night, didn't he? Why does he still carry water for the GOTP? They obviously won't give him a decent job or he wouldn't be at MSNBC with the other pandering reject Michael Steele.

          1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

            True…want to know what else pissed me off about that debacle? Well…Tweety ripping Schmidt a new asshole for saying his phony crap was funny but the standards Republicans have to abide by versus Democrats. Every Republican candidate since Raygun gets a "Reagan Pass" which amounts to "he spelled his own name correctly minus prompter? Okay he's presidential material" I mean Miffed is an eastern establishment blue blood…his father was the CEO of AMC and a governor; Miffed is well educated and articulate…there's no reason that shit performance should have been given kudos. Bamz conversely came from the lower-middle class and yet Miffed gets told he "did well" when he obviously didn't just because he didn't pick his nose on national teevee? What the fuck is that shit? This lust for a horserace shit is getting really old…

          2. Willardbot9000_V2.5

            Bamz got torn apart by the media for being lazy in the first debate establishing Mitt-mentum (thank you fuckheads great and small especially Ed Schultz and Tweety) and Miffed was so lousy and ill-prepared for this last debate he kept dragging out his same five talking points on the economy from debates 1 and 2…and his shit didn't get jumped for it. Pisses me off…the complete lack of fairness and equal treatment in this media narrative.

  8. midnighttoker69

    So, do I understand this correctly? This story is such bullshit that Romney doesn't want it, FOX doesn't want it … but it's not too crazy for Donald, AKA Boy Blunder? I'm a little sad he didn't run for pres … the hair jokes alone would have been worth it.

    1. Terry

      Let's hope its so batshit crazy that it finally destroys the remaining tatters of The Donald's reputation.

      1. midnighttoker69

        Maybe he has video of Obama and Hillary rolling up the real birth certificate to do some lines.

      2. CindynEncinitas

        It never will. As long as he can roll up a $20, someone will do him a solid and stick a microphone in his face once in a while.

    2. Dildeaux

      Wouldnt read too much into the romney doesnt want it assertion. He would use surrogates to break a salacious story anyway.

  9. Hammiepants


    This is how I picture how any "intelligence" is communicated in the Trump camp.

  10. BaldarTFlagass

    "Barack Obama getting schoolchildren hooked on drugs (most likely)"

    Now he just wants to get all Americans addicted to welfare.

  11. asterixaverni

    I'm not sure anyone here is insane enough to guess at what The Donald will bust out with tomorrow.

  12. EatsBabyDingos

    I had never seen a living, breathing colostomy bag before. Does it always wear white on pink?

  13. IncenseDebate

    Barack's white great granddad bayonetted Mitten's great granddad in France during WWI over who got to do blow off Barbara Bush's breasts.

    1. KeepFnThatChicken

      Did you get stuck in the "must be approved" queue? And were you a smart-ass about John Edwards? Because I was. And my post is missing….

      1. el_donaldo

        Thank god, no. I'm trying to link to my comment from earlier today when I said that Bammers is handing out fat baggies of weed for votes. But Intense Debate doesn't like comment links when the comments for a post run more than a single page. Dammit.

        What did you say about sleazy John Edwards that tripped up your comment?

  14. elviouslyqueer

    I'm still waiting for news that the Donald was caught in flagrante delicto with a non-consenting llama. Because at least that would be more believable than this bullshit "bombshell."

  15. Terry

    The Donald is a birther. This is going to be about Obama "disappearing" in college, a week or two were the guy doesn't remember seeing him, and thus Obama has to be a secret Kenyan muslin.

    1. kittensdontlie

      Neglected plant containers in college libraries can be great places to grow a little medicinal weed. Errr,… a friend told me that.

    2. BaldarTFlagass

      I tried to deal, but I was my own best customer. By the same logic, I will never own a bar.

  16. GeorgiaMike

    I refuse to call Trumpers the Comic Insult Human by his name "The Donald." That would imply that he was the greatest Donald ever. Not a chance:

    1. Mister Duck
    2. Mister O'Connor
    3. Mister Sutherland

    The best I could do for Trumpers is "A Donald."

  17. rickmaci

    Democrat David Vitter has a thing going with New Orleans prostitutes.
    Democrat John Ensign allegedly coerced a married office worker for sex.
    Democrat Scott DesJarlais pressured his mistress to get an abortion.
    Democrat Eric Cantor and 7 other Democrats went on a drunken skinny dip in the Jordan River while on a Congressional junket to Israel.

    This is fun.

        1. Generation[redacted]

          When he popped the question, there were obviously going to be some questions, about the questions.

  18. prommie

    I remember the original version of this movie, when it was one of Clinton's college roommate saying the same thing. That one bombed at the box office. But hey, with the fabulous, always Klassy Trump name behind this one, its sure to do boffo biz, huh?

  19. BornInATrailer

    OT, but how is it possible we don't yet have a story about Mann Coulter tweeting Wonkette's favorite word?

      1. BaldarTFlagass

        Does anybody know what the purpose of Wonkville is? I mean, it's like Wonkette, but without the clever write-up by the editors, and with just about zero clever comments. I don't get it; guess I must have missed the roll-out.

        1. Esteev

          It makes the editors' jobs easier. They don't have to hunt for stories when they have Wonkvillians doing it for them! Open-sourced snark!

        2. PubOption

          Articles occasionally appear on the main site after they have been posted at Wonkville, the tips section seems to be more of a black hole.

  20. OneYieldRegular

    Is it wrong of me to harbor a fantasy that all of those New Yorkers who got kicked out of their places so that Donald Trump could condo-ize Manhattan will one day hunt him down and eat him?

    1. rickmaci

      And understands the problems faced by job creators who are buried under an avalanche of government regulations.

  21. hagajim

    So if Barry is our Drug Dealer in Chief, does that make The Donald our national Douchebag in Chief…or is that Chief Douchebag.

  22. poorgradstudent

    Just to be clear; this is supposed to be a reason to vote AGAINST Obama?

    Hook me up, Mr. President!

        1. UnholyMoses

          Ooh! Something that takes too long and wastes perfectly good blow!

          Or, uh, so someone once told me back in the 80s.

  23. pdiddycornchips

    Paging Dr. Corsi, Dr. Jerome Corsi… The crazy is about to start without you. Please get in touch with Golden Member before it's too late to get in on the action.

  24. magic_titty

    This just cements his belief in the free enterprise system and should be a boon to his campaign.

  25. Jus_Wonderin

    Next Trump is going to say he murdered a hooker while out to grab a gallon of chocolate milk.

    1. Pres.Beeblebrox

      Omar comin', yo!

      Tomorrow, The Donald is gonna drop the news equivlent of a 20 gallon trash bag full of crack out of the second floor of a vacant Baltimore row house right at our feet.

  26. GregComlish

    President Bush keeps dropping by the White House hoping that Barry is going to help him score some blow.

  27. ElPinche

    Your president likes to ride shirtless on horses? Sounds like a pussy. My president is a Kenyan Marxist, Chicago thug, Communist Muslim, elitist, homosexual drug dealer named Hitler who smokes his own shit and shoots terrorists in the face.

  28. bfddad

    Trump continues to act like a child with something to say, waving his hand, ooh, ooh, ooh, listen to me. But everytime he says something or builds something, it's gold plated garbage. Why won't he learn?

  29. LibertyLover

    Barack is probably totally gonna be on Trump's crappy show… the Donald's Apprentice or some such thing.

  30. MissNancyPriss

    Speaking of drugs, I just watched all 4 1/2 seasons of Breaking Bad in 3 months and feel like I have spent that time actually doing meth.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Really? I haven't sat down with that one yet. Did you clean house more than usual? Seems like it might be a nice substitute, and no rotten teeth either.

  31. Jukesgrrl

    He's just dying to go on TV and say, "Barack Obama, you're fired!" They wouldn't let him do it at the convention, but he's going to get his way, no matter what he has to do.

  32. DocChaos

    Jesus, how recent is that picture. He'll be done morphing into Sheldon Adelson by election day at this rate.

  33. TribecaMike

    So D.C. Douglas, the announcer of the insurance giant Geiko's ads, gets fired for one snarky voicemail, but Trump continues to be on NBC while constantly and maliciously libeling the President of the United States?

    In Trump and NBC's world, bullshit walks and talks.

  34. Negropolis

    I heard that the Romney boys are totally cooking meth in their parents La Jolla mansion in the car elevator.

  35. Dildeaux

    The Donald has a new show coming out in two weeks. He did the same thing the last time he had a show on deck.

    It cant be the divorce thingy. Has to be a drug selling charge furthered by an untrustworthy liar who is not named mitt romney.

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