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Mitt Romney got his ass handed to him last night, but to be fair, sometimes he handed himself his own ass, like when he claimed that Syria was Iran’s “route to the sea” and also, most of the other times that he opened his mouth and words came out. (Maybe the moderator could have helped him out by asking a question about the Cayman Islands? Last we heard, those are foreign!) ANYWAY, probably the finest of these non-self-inflicted ass-handing moments came when Romney was comparing today’s military to the military of the early 20th century, arguing that Obama was going to leave America unsafe forever and ever by refusing to give the Navy a bunch of ships they never asked for. Obama replied that yeah, he’s going to give them fewer ships, because DUH, they use fewer ships, and also, fewer horses and bayonets, IDIOT. This, however, hurt Fox News’ feelings, as it is apparently still remembering with longing 1917 in Flanders Fields. And it also hurt the feelings of this one serviceman who Tweeted at Fox News that we still do use bayonets in the military!

Do we use FEWER horses and bayonets, however, like Obama said we do? Yes, as it turns out, we do! But not the POINT, sheeple. The POINT is that “it may not be clear who doesn’t understand what the military currently uses.” Got that? And Paul Ryan, who knows a little something about having his ass handed to him — well, Ryan is cute. But not too smart. So he is confused. Because gosh, how could the President have compared modern military equipment to horses and bayonets (which, according to Fox News and that one serviceman, we still use)?

What’s important is that we Keep America Safe.™ And we can only do that by increasing military spending, decreasing the deficit, and letting Poors die in the street from totally preventable diseases (except they won’t die in the street because of emergency rooms.) So NOW who’s winning the debate??
[Media Matters] [CBS News]

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