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US Senator John McCain is not happy with That One, Barack Obama, making merciless fun of His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney in last night’s debate “draw.” Bamz was all like “What up, dummy? Can you see Russia from your house?” And Mittens was all like “Does anyone have a stack of illegal notes with which I can wipe my terrible, mortifying flop sweat?” And John McCain was all like “THIS. SHALL. NOT. STAND.” Because mocking people for being inexperienced lightweights is just not done.

“Frankly, I don’t understand why the president wants to take these kind of cheap shots — bayonets and horses, what’s that all about?” he said. “You know, when I debated then-Senator Obama I didn’t criticize or belittle his lack of experience on national security issues. And he seemed to take these kind of cheap shots. … I kind of resent it.”

Do you, John McCain? Do you “resent it”? Hang on, gotta just tighten the loose nut on this Wayback Machine …

Whoomp, there it is.

At a boisterous rally that was interrupted twice by antiwar protesters, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) launched into a scathing attack on Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.), mocking his youth, his lack of foreign policy experience and his support for pork-barrel projects.

“I have the knowledge, the background and the judgment to lead this nation. My opponent does not,” he said before a crowd of a couple hundred supporters at an airport hangar. Then, poking fun at the 46-year-old Democratic front-runner, McCain, 71, added: “I admire and respect Senator Obama. For a young man with very little experience, he’s done very well. For his very, very great lack of experience and knowledge of the issues, he’s been very successful.”

Well, okay, but he maybe never said it to his face, so there is that we guess.

[MSNBC / TPM / WaPo]

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  • 1stNewtontheMoon

    In fairness, Obama's a black democrat. So, wait, what was the question again?

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Hahahahahahah! Win!

  • Well, see, there's your problem right there. McCain is mocking Obama's youth, which is something he had no control over, but Obama was mocking Romney's ignorance, which is optional. So it's a cheap shot for pointing out that someone could know better, should know better, but doesn't.

    It's like jumping the little homo in school and cutting his hair off. He should have known better.

  • Terry

    "“You know, when I debated then-Senator Obama I didn’t criticize or belittle his lack of experience on national security issues."

    Proof that McCain is now senile.

    • Cleopatriot

      It's only proof that he's a Republican and therefore gets his own reality.

    • MegPasadena

      He has caught the Romnesia.

  • Pookums

    Perhaps Walnuts is pulling a Gipper and getting all forgetty on us. Please say it's so.

    • That lets him off too easy. I'm sticking with "out-and-out disingenous."

    • sullivanst

      I'm hoping for that special kind of alzheimers where we all forget him.

  • freakishlywrong

    John McCain only resents that he couldn't crash a horse. Heeeeennngghhh? Go away, asshole.

  • bayonets and horses, what’s that all about?

    Senator, we sort of were hoping you might tell us, since, you know, you were around for the Great War and we were not even gleams in our grandparents' eyes yet.

    • The bayonet is to slice the onion on his belt; the horse is for him to ride in on.

      • Toomush_Infer

        And the Fuckyou is for him and the horse he rode in on – the bayonet is for just in case he decides to slit his wrists, not that I'm suggesting anything here…..

  • NDeeeZ

    Hey you kids; get off my Forest Lawn!

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    McCain remembers back in the day how bayonets and horses worked so well for the Poles against the panzerdivision during the blitzkrieg.

    • sewollef

      And you're not kidding, since the Polish Army rode out — using cavalry — to meet the oncoming German Army.

      Seems silly now, when you think about it. Shame Mittens doesn't think.

  • Kid_Charlemagne

    John McCain is the last guy who should be giving campaign advice.

  • Weenus299

    Obama isn't invady enough. What with all the sanctions and the "talking" to "foreigners."

  • nounverb911

    How many horses did Walnuts crash when he was in the cavalry?

    • One_who_wanders

      <is this a trap?>

      All of them, Katie.

  • bayonets and horses, what’s that all about?” he said

    Y'know, Senator. A "meme" only becomes a nuisance in proportion to the amount of attention you give it.

    • kittensdontlie

      Senator falls on Barry's bayonet…video at 11

  • Old Man Yells At Black Cloud. Again.

    • freakishlywrong

      Ties onion to belt and stomps off to the ferry to Shelbyville.

    • bikerlaureate

      That One took those kind of cheap shots.

  • Mittens is McCain's route to reality; i.e., you can't get there from here.

  • we also have fewer horses and bayonets…

    And the Wonkette's Dok Z was prescient with his pony meme yesterday. Wonkers, always on the cutting edge.

    BTW after the debate Mrs. weejee said she needed a bayonet cause Willard made her feel all stabby.

    • I started to feel all nukey until the President smacked the pretender down

    • Lot_49

      "The spirit of the bayonet is to kill."

  • Weenus299

    I did like the aircraft carrier thing. You know, one of those ships you can land planes on? That was kind of cool, in terms of making Romney look like a pile of sweat hankies.

    • miss_grundy

      No wonder this guy hates teachers and education because his daddy spent so much money on private schools and the little lad learned nothing…except how to take a company's assets and equities and sell them off to make money off of it and leave people without their pensions and enough liabilities that the company goes under leaving people unemployed in the U.S. and sending jerbs to China..

  • Is it really a cheap shot to point out that we no longer us horses and bayonets in battle? Only if you have to drag your opponent kicking and screaming into the 21st century.

    • "Mr Romney would blow the defense budget on more pitch and trebuchets"

      • tessiee

        And tumult; lots of tumult.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        That would be awesome. Don't make me want to vote for the guy.

        • You should see his secret plans for a siege engine. Really state of the art crap. With wood!

  • freakishlywrong

    And really Republicans? These fuckwits have spent Bammie's entire presidency, bitching, throwing tantrums and disrespecting him. And they get butthurt over a perceived "cheap shot"? You oughta know from cheap shots, Walnuts.

    • Dumbedup

      well, Obama can't speak that way to Romney, know what I mean? When he did, assholes puckered and blood pressure sky rocketed all across Dixie.

      • tessiee


      • reliefsinn

        A few more deep fried Mars bars and there will be that many fewer low info voters in this country.

  • hagajim

    Li'l Johnny is just mad cause he never had a snappy comeback – ever – for anything.

    • Have you forgotten, Jim?

      "Well, at least I don't plaster on the make-up like a trollop, you cunt!"

      If that's not snappy, I don't know what is.

      • yyyaz

        Snotty, snitty, snooty, snippy, yes. Snappy? Mmm, maybe not so much.

      • tessiee

        To be fair to Jim, "snappy" isn't *quite* the same as "snappish".

      • hagajim

        I kinda thought it was dicky, and or dickish.

  • vrouch

    Of course he forgot he said it. He's so senile he can hide his own Easter eggs.

    • zumpie

      If he remembered what Easter eggs were.

  • PuckStopsHere

    Shouldn't the thing he resents be the fact that his party nominated a dangerous idiot to run for president? Of course, given the fact that he put a dangerous idiot on his ticket four years ago, perhaps not.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      You remember the field before the nomination? After Huntsman and the marijuana guy dropped out, Mitt was by default the *least* dangerous idiot in the Rep primary.

  • Lot_49

    Under the old equal-time rules, the networks would have to give John Kerry the same minutes of airtime that WALNUTS gets. So let's give thanks that there's only one windbag loser who chases after the cameras like a kitten after a laser dot.

    • tessiee

      Under the old equal time rules, Air America would have the same amount of time and attention that Fox presently does, and the country probably wouldn't be *quite* so stupid.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    STFU and eat your pudding old man!

    • How can he have any pudding if he don't beat his meat???

  • memzilla

    Caption: Sen. John McCain [R-Alzheimerzona].

    • miss_grundy

      And Romnesia….

  • Hey Walnutz, following-up on Mittens geography lesson, can you see incontinence from your paunch?

    • rickmaci

      All depends.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    All presidential candidates should base their foreign policy on Beach Boys song parodies.

    • tessiee

      Wouldn't it be nice?

    • James Michael Curley

      Just need to know who The Heroes and Villains are.

  • Wilcoxyz

    In the McCain campaign, cheap shots were only used to get Bristol pregnant.

    • FNMA

      God, you people. "Cheap shots" were not used to get Bristol knocked up. They were wine coolers.

      • rickmaci

        and Jaegermeister shots?

      • Gleem McShineys

        Yeah! Get your facts straight, kid!

        Cheap shots were his path to scoring his beer heiress.

  • Sue4466

    "“You know, when I debated then-Senator Obama I didn’t criticize or belittle his lack of experience on national security issues."

    You also lost, grandpa. Now STFU.

  • SpiderCrab

    To paraphrase Ben Franklin:

    Fish and war heroes stink after three decades.

  • banana_bread

    OT: hey I'm back! Did I miss anything?

    Also I learned Portuguese but I'm sure that will have no use here at Wonkette.

    • Chichikovovich

      It will be more useful than you think. Portugal is Spain's route to the sea.

      • sullivanst

        Lies! Brazil is Portugal's route to the sea.

        • They export wax, I hear.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          I've been there several times and know wherefrom I speak: The Azores are Portugal's route to the sea.

    • rickmaci

      Another example of why Brazil is such a threat to our economy.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Romney will send horses to bayonet those bastards if he is elected!

  • EatsBabyDingos

    McCain then went on to talk about how he rode a horse with Teddy up San Juan hill, but Walnuts kept getting sick riding the horse, which is why he was the first Ralph Rider.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      "Ralph Rider" ha!

      My highschool mascot was the Roughriders. I can't believe I never came across your bon mot at all the wild drinking parties we had back then. there was certainly enough ralphing going on to bring it to mind.

      • emmelemm

        Did you go to Roosevelt High School????

        ETA: In Seattle?

        • Lascauxcaveman

          No, but before I attended, the school in my town was called Roosevelt School, so the mascot stuck with new school when it expanded, split into a high and junior high, with the high school moving into a new building. The junior high classes stayed in the old building and their mascot became the "Teddies."

          • emmelemm

            Roosevelt High School, in Seattle – mascot: Roughriders. Endless hilarity ensuing among high school students.

            At some point, some enterprising person made "Rough Rider" condom wrappers and was passing them out at a football game.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    This old asshole said the very same thing last night on CNN pre-debate, minus the "bayonets and horses" jab. Which is to say, "Joe Biden".

    Also, opportunism looks great coming from a man who married a beer heiress.

  • sullivanst

    But Grandpa McCain, the President isn't on your lawn. Any of them!

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Wasn't revealed that back in 2008 John McCain really despised Mitt Romney? Like really, really hated him. Seriously dude, your not going anywhere and don't have to prove anything anymore. Going to bat for a creep at your age just to prove your part of the team is pretty sad.

    • Wouldn't be the first time.
      (See Bush, George W.)
      Very sad.

  • sudsmckenzie

    " We didn't even have cavalry at Pickets charge" grrrrr

  • FakaktaSouth

    He's just mad because the President said that about "we have aircraft carriers now, you know, like where John McCain used to like to crash planes all the time? You 'member them, Mitt?" So, you can't blame the guy for taking it personally.

  • TootsStansbury

    John "that one" McSenile complaining about cheap shots? Hahahaha!

  • Chichikovovich

    The reason McCain was angry is because he thought it was a cheap shot aimed at him when Obama said aircraft carriers were to land planes on.

  • prommie

    Mr. Peabody! The original Brian, the smart white dog!

    • My favorite feghoots of all time!

      (Google it, sheesh, you dirty-minded bastards…)

      • FakaktaSouth

        Oh my god you just taught me a word that wasn't even dirty (this time, for once). I know, surprised the hell out of me too.

      • prommie

        I've actually read Shah Guido G, god that produced a groan. Bullwinkle and Rocky, ah! The indian chief, Chief Running Sore! Send me to prison, send me to Siberia, but please, don't send me to Wilkes-Barre!

  • ingloriousbytch

    McCain needs to pick up his bayonet, hop on his horse and ride back to the land of STFU.

  • Radiotherapy

    Could the old coot be suffering from, dare I say it….Romnesia?

    • More likely Paulzheimer's

    • memzilla

      We've always been at war with Romnesia.

  • zumpie

    After Krusty finished yelling at some clouds he added, "Mitty and Munster should've used my team's finely honed wandering and winking to win"

  • mille derps

    Kinda off-topic, but will there be a livebloog for the Larry-King-moderated 3rd party candidate presidential debate ce soir?

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Meghan's tits or GTFO.

  • coolhandnuke

    McCain is defending a man who in three debates and one convention never said the word Veteran once.

    • miss_grundy

      Actually, a veteran is a forty-seven percenter because he takes a pension from the gummint.

  • DalePues

    John McCain stuck his tongue out at Barack Obama. Disgusting old man.

  • el_donaldo

    Cheap shots?!? No, Obama doesn't need to hand out liquor to get people to vote for him. He's giving out fat, fat bags of medical marijuana. That's what I heard.

    • eggsacklywright

      Then he has you arrested.

      • el_donaldo

        Do I still get my phone?

        • BaldarTFlagass

          Yes, to make your one phone call.

    • tessiee

      Well then, who *is* handing out liquor?
      Who is handing out liquor?

      • el_donaldo

        My house! It's cheap gin, but you're invited.You're all invited.

    • bikerlaureate

      They tried to disenfranchise voters,
      but I said no, no, no.

  • Frankly, I don’t understand

    McCain has been saying this for the last 20 years.

  • Oh, McCain said it to Obama's face — here's a quote from the first debate they had together:

    “I’ve been involved, as I mentioned to you before, in virtually every major national security challenge we’ve faced in the last 20-some years. There are some advantages to experience, and knowledge, and judgment. And I — and I honestly don’t believe that Senator Obama has the knowledge or experience and has made the wrong judgments in a number of areas …”

    And this was the same John McCain who wandered around a bazaar in Baghdad along with two companies of troops and a bunch of helicopters to illustrate how safe it was there at the time. So yeah — keep reminding the voters what they're missing, dumbass.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Plus he got some sweet deals on Iranian carpets.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "bayonets and horses, what’s that all about? Is Mr. Ed on?"

  • kyeshinka

    Arizona: It's a dry stupid.

    • PennyDreadful

      I am so stealing this.

  • Not_So_Much

    Man, that crazy old fucker just can't let it go, can he?


  • Buzz Feedback

    WALNUTS! is an old white guy. He resents everything. It's his job.

  • Will. Not. Watch.
    I had enough 4 years ago, and this is NOT how I want to start my day.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh good lord, somebody wheel Gramps back inside and give him a Vicodin-and-tonic before he has another spell. And while you're out there, make sure and apologize to the sheep.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Oh gawd, please don't make me do this. I'd rather fashion a noose from one of his belts and hang myself from his walker.

  • magic_titty

    If he was smart he would take this time to deny choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate. Just double-down on the memory loss angle so people think you're old and zany, not a liar.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "Back in '08, my vice-presidential running mate Ronald Reagan told me…"

    • tessiee

      Given how short the attention span of most of America is, he might actually get away with it.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Dear Senator Loser:

    I know that you would like to feel relevant again, but Hennngggggh? Years ago, the American Public decided that getting caught and held by the Vietnamese, and keeping that watch up your ass all that time, were simply not strong enough qualifications to be Commander in Chief, and nothing since then has changed our minds.

    Please go back to commanding your wife's front lawns…

    Sincerely, Toomush

  • coolhandnuke

    "Frankly, I don’t understand why the president wants to take these kind of cheap shots — bayonets and horses, what’s that all about?….Now F Troop that was a show. told it like it was back then with horses and guns and knives and those kind we were fighting and knives too, um, um, um mother where's my tapioca."

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "It was best when Captain Parmenter, Sergeant O'Rourke, and Corporal Agarn got into hi-jinks with the Go Go Gophers. Oh, those Indian gophers were so clever!"

      • tessiee

        "the Go Go Gophers"

        I thought the Indians in "F Troop" were the Hekawi.
        Also, I'm still not 100% convinced that Corporal Agarn and Micky Dolenz aren't the same person.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          I was just crossing up my shows, for confusive purposes, like Walnuts probably would. Looks like I succeeded! Epic victory!!

  • rickmaci

    War Elephant Libel !!!!

  • orygoon

    We had a young student worker awhile back who had been in Iraq, in the Marines. He was a helicopter "crew chief", which is some kind of term for gunner. His gun shot a gazillion (as in, a large number, of quite a few digits) per minute. He said the ammunition for the gun resided in a large case "like a refrigerator" that was loaded into the chopper with a forklift.

    He never mentioned a bayonet, not ever.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I think they only use the bayonets in those recruiting ads they show during sports broadcasts.
      "The Few, the Proud, the Pointy Shiny Things at the End of Our Rifles."

      • orygoon

        The Spare, in his mid-twenties now, recently enlisted in the Navy to get stuff going that will help him for the rest of his life. He said, though, that every other young man who passed through the recruiters door while he was in the office thought he was going to be a SEAL.

        I thought the recruiters were pretty dickish and dumb, but they were not so dumb as to reason with these young men.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          When I was in the Navy, the SEAL guys came to recruit to join their club during boot camp.

    • James Michael Curley

      You strapped on your bayonet in anticipation of the time you crash and you have to cut your self out of your 'monkey sling'.

  • Meanwhile Paul Herpdyderp said he didn't understand Obama comparing bayonets to "modern American battleships." There haven't been American battlsehips in commission for nearly 20 years.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "You sank my Battleship analogy!"

    • sullivanst

      Yes, Paul Herpdyderp, we know you don't understand such things. That's why you completely failed to even remotely grasp Obama's comment.

  • orygoon

    At Fox News they are all reciting Tennyson?

  • neiltheblaze

    Can we just demote Arizona to Territory status so they lose their Senators?

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Waaaaa. Fuckin' waaaaaaaaaaaaa.

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    *pinches Romney's cheeks*

    Who got schooled? Who got schooled? Yesh, you did!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    What fucking foreign policy experience does fucking Mittens have besides sendiing thousands of American jobs to fucking China? Oh he ws gov of Mass, whoop-de-shit. So, what, he had to talk to the fucking coast guard once in 4 years? Fucking good for fucking you, Mittens. You and Ryan have less foreign policy experience than Sarah fucking Palin. And why doesn't the fucking piece of shit media call them out on this or even mention it? Oh because they're biased? theyre "in the tank" for Obama?

    Mark Helprin said MIttens looked presidential bcz he was sitting next to the current president. How is that anything? Is that all it fucking takes? The media sucks and they will hand this election and this nation over to 2 slack-jawed fucking morons who will rape and rob this country blind.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      "Mark Helprin said MIttens looked presidential bcz he was sitting next to the current president. How is that anything?"

      I guess Sarah Palin looked Vice Presidential standing beside Joe. Ha!!!!!!!! Notice I didn't say anything about Eddie Munster. Ha!!!!!!!

    • sullivanst

      France mission libel!

      ETA: Mark Halperin is probably the most villagey Villager in the village. Pay him no heed, listening to him will only bring you down to his level, and I don't care what level you're at, his is below yours.

      • tessiee

        "I don't care what level you're at, his is below yours."

        Homer Simpson: How come YOU got picked for the softball team and I didn't? Are you better than me?
        Darryl Strawberry: I don't know you, but… yes.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        [wipes Halperin off shoes]

        Hey you're right! Thanks!

  • tessiee

    The only thing about that surprises me is that McCain realized that Obama was being sarcastic. I woulda figured McCain thought we actually had bayonets and horses.

  • mavenmaven

    I think Obama was nice to Romney. Not once crack about Romney's tour of the UK and the Olympics. If he can't keep from alienating our easy allies, how will Romney work with difficult adversaries?

  • owhatever

    Romney will direct that the Pentagon spend $5 billion to update its fleet of dancing horses, and Rafalca shall lead them. If only they had not cut back the horse cavalry in favor of those new-fangled Abrams tanks, armored personnel carriers and heliocopter things.

  • tessiee

    John McCain should dress up like Pee-Wee Herman and dance to "Tequila".
    Just a thought.

  • ttommyunger

    This from the man who was handed his ass by George W. Bush-TWICE.

    • sullivanst

      And the second time, Bush wasn't even running!

  • An_Outhouse

    bayonets and horses? My trusty steed never failed me and I shish kabobbed a number of brownies with my big bayonet. What all was Obama blathering on about?

    • DahBoner

      And that was legal in which state?

  • chascates

    At least Obama didn't plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunts.

  • Yeah, but McCain wasn't the president when he took those cheap shots. Just a sitting Senator. Big difference.

  • decentcitizen

    Yes, it is common knowledge globally that the U.S. spends too little on national defense. Great place to stake your claim, Mitt. Way to come to his defense, Walnuts.

  • Biff

    Jamackan was on Ralston Reports here in Nevaduh last night. Funny as fuck.

  • DahBoner

    Crash Test Dummy said what?

  • MinAgain

    John still has a sentimental attachment to horses and bayonets from his early days in the military.

  • ElPinche

    Walnuts: "This whole fucking thing… I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck so that this fucking Obama…Daggers and bolas, what's that all about? WHERE'S MY OATMEAL??? DIMI-MAOW! MAOW! *SLAP* MAOW! What year is it, mommy?"

  • pdiddycornchips

    Shorter wingnut talking point:

    "Do not mock us with logic when we are trying to fool most real Americans into believing The Blah guy destroyed the Navy."

  • TribecaMike

    Who (besides pretty much everyone reading this) could ever forget McCain during one of the 2008 debates asserting with a Chesire cat gotcha grin that Obama didn't know the difference between strategy and tactics? By gum, that was the best ever well-honed zinger that time immediately forgot after passing through drooling rum-reeking lips.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Honestly, I can not understand why John McCain seems so intent on eradicating the tiny bit of dignity left to him.

  • VeraSevera

    The women in my binders all have bayonets and horses.

  • glamourdammerung

    Songbird lied again?!?!

    It must be a day that ends with "y".

  • CommieDad

    It kinda was a cheap shot… What Obama SHOULD have said (right after baynets and before he went all SNL and took the joke to far):

    * We have grown the Navy since Bush shrank it.
    * Our Navy is more powerful than it has ever been
    * Really, Mitt, why the fuck do you want to spend money on the military when they don't need it? I mean, I call up the Joint Chiefs and say, "Yo, what do you need?" And they say, "We're good. Let's cut some fat and get rid of stuff built in Republican Districts." And I say, "Done and done." You, my friend Mitt, just say, "You will take this submarine wether you need it or not! It is built by one of my donors, and I promissed him you'd buy his boat [sic]."

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