it takes a panel of dozens to act like hacks

Fox News Convenes Post-Debate Panel Of Snippy Idiots; Foofaraw Ensues

douche in repose

Fox News once again hired ruddy shitmonster Frank Luntz to convene a panel of undecided voters who watch Fox News (read: Romney voters who want to be on Fox News). There is video (as the kids are saying, “after the fold”).

Fox Nation describes this as “Luntz Focus Group Erupts Into Near Brawl,” but it comes off more as “Luntz Focus Group Erupts Into Backbiting Fuck-Tussle.”

Part 1:

Part 2:
A brief summary: Luntz goes around basically asking everyone why Mitt Romney won. Some douche in the front row quotes Charlie Sheen, because it’s totes last year. (Quit trying to make “winning” happen.)

After a while, Mary C. in the front row gets really fucking angry about Benghazi and interrupts everyone. Everyone else takes this as a cue to start yelling, and then there’s a blonde lady in the front row who’s not a Romney fan, and everyone in the Fox Nation comments thinks she’s totally an Obama plant out to get shouted down by barely-literate Fox News viewers who agreed to be smiled at by Sean Hannity. Eventually, they all calm down when Frank Luntz brings out an art man to talk about how much he loves America, and then they all go off to talk about the art they love, like Dancing With The Stars and shit.

The end.

[Fox Nation]

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    1. Yellerdawg

      I like how the one 'undecided' lady in front gets all red in the face whenever anyone mentions anything for Obama or against Romney. We have a lot of undecideds like that in Texas.

  1. noodlesalad

    Undecided Fox News voters are undecided only because Hitler and Zombie Reagan are not on the ballot.

    Final verdict – yes they can pinch their nose and vote against the Muslin.

  2. freakishlywrong

    They hate Miffed as much as we do. Brawl away, tards. This is the feel good news story of the day.

    1. tessiee

      "They hate Miffed as much as we do."

      Even the other Rethugs hate Mitt *almost* as much as we do. I can't count how many times in the past six months I've heard people say things like, "Obama is the worst President, but I'd never vote for Romney". I'm genuinely puzzled how someone so unpopular with *everybody* even got to run (until I remember that his "competition" was Frothy and the Newt).

  3. valgal2342

    This focus group memorized their lines pretty well but when they got off script it showed that Romney supporters are soooooo angry.

    And who the hell is the artist of the Prez paintings? Gadz! However the mouths on Romney & Ryan are pretty funny. And WTF did the artist do to George Washington?

    1. tessiee

      I'll be damned if I watch either video, but in answer to your last question, my best guess is that Jon McNaughton isn't a very good artist.

  4. Loch_Nessosaur

    These people need to shut the fuck up and did anyone tell them this was supposed to be a debate on foreign policy and not the economy.

  5. freakishlywrong

    "Undecided" means "embarrassed" about being a Republican. Knowing full well the damage and fuckery that will be done, but being unable to ignore the siren call of the (R).

    1. Negropolis

      THIS one million times over.

      "I'm a low-information voter that drools at the sound of the GOP dinner bell, but I'm ashamed to show it."

  6. Barbara_

    I watched the video and the only thing I got from it was that the balding guy's head looks like the perfectly fried over-easy egg from the rear. (1:42)

    1. Crank_Tango

      I generally avoid all wonket videos. I AM a little curious about the cutie in the blue shirt up top tho.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      I think Mr. Unironic Thumbs Up (aka "Douchebag: Ten Years Later") just caught a downshirt flash from the Malkin wannabe sitting next to him, hence the thumbs up.

  7. elviouslyqueer

    No thank you. I'm not watching unless there is much more chair throwing and at least three weave-ripping enraged trannies.

  8. KeepFnThatChicken

    "We are on live television, and I have lost control."

    No, it sounds like you have perfectly good control of these people.

  9. BaldarTFlagass

    Didja ever take a stick and jam it into a hornet's nest? It's real fun, especially if the hornets are intellectually challenged.

  10. SorosBot

    Wait, they were getting angry over Benghazi? And here I thought they were angry over having a black man in the white house.

    1. MissTaken

      To 'undecided' Fox News viewers: Benghazi sounds like Bang Nazi, which reminds them that black men bang white women with their very large cocks and Nazis. Therefore, Black Man Nazi in the White House.

    2. tessiee

      They *are* angry over Ben Ghazi, but they think he's one of them muslin terraist guys, like Al Jazeera.

    3. BaldarTFlagass

      I really liked Ben Ghazarri. He was in a lot of cool flicks. Of course, Jackie Treehorn was my favorite character he played.

  11. pinkocommi

    Our country's future is in the hands of a bunch of dipshits. Makes me re-think our jury system, too.

    1. rickmaci

      If you put a matter in the hands of a jury you are essentially trusting the collective analytical abilities of twelve people who were not smart enough to figure out how to get out of jury duty.

  12. BadKitty904

    "If a nation expects to be ignorant & free, in a state of civilisation, it expects what never was & never will be."

    ~ Thomas Jefferson, January 6, 1816

  13. BaldarTFlagass

    Didn't this Lunt guy have that Candid Camera show all those years ago? How the mighty have fallen.

    1. tessiee

      No, that was Allen Funt, and he was nowhere near that much of a cthe rest of this comment has been banished by the administrator.

          1. Negropolis

            Not to be confused with the market town of Fuckitall, which is a sister city with the village of Mothrafuqua in Bangladesh.

  14. Oblios_Cap

    Luntz is a total twatwaffle who maybe his mother could love. But it's doubtful.

    Undecided Voters should be made to do something useful, like maybe being taken to Area 51 and given to the aliens for protracted doses of anal probing.

  15. Nopantsmcgee

    I see enough of the animated comatose searching for brains on The Walking Dead, I don't need to watch a Fox Focus Group.

  16. BaldarTFlagass

    If this is how it's going to be after a meaningless debate, all I can say is I hope they have a televised studio audience on election night.
    *adds 'microwave popcorn' to grocery list*

  17. YasserArraFeck

    Only difference between these lot and a cage full of monkeys is that they're not throwing shit at the camera…..yet

    1. One_who_wanders

      I suspect that line started more than 40 years ago and can now stretch across the continental US.

  18. mavenmaven

    Obviously, "winning" guy is hoping for a full time job on Fox. "Benghazi" lady with the eye rolls is clearly a Palin fan and probably someone's nightmare ex-wife.
    But life is too short to waste watching the whole thing.

  19. kyeshinka

    More research into this subspecies of Americans have found they enjoy eating paste, love Caddyshack II, and likely won't vote anyway because they can't get their cars into drive.

      1. TribecaMike

        Bethany Osborne ‏@bethosborne14
        @NancyAFrench Thank you for the follow! :D I just freaked out!! Haha #BristolPalinNotAfraidOfLifeMyJourneySoFar is one of my fav books ever!

        And salt is her fav food!

    1. BadKitty904

      That sounds like something from an issue of "Audubon Magazine," circa 1925:

      "Peering through the verdant foliage, we sighted a Backbiting Fucktussle building its cozy nest in the bosky dell…"

        1. BaldarTFlagass

          I'd lean more towards Marlin Perkins, as Bad Kitty was clearly describing a non-aquatic setting.

  20. belmontreport

    "Trade is a big foreign trade thing, so it is a big thing in the economy." This woman was the most coherent of the group (other than the quote/joke machine in the front war).

  21. Radiotherapy

    Glad to see that there still is no shortage of clowns. Especially the beatch in blue in the front row.

  22. YasserArraFeck

    A propos of nothing much, as I was driving the kids to school, my youngest daughter remarks "Look at those Romney signs on the lawn", and my older daughter says "Shush, you shouldn't make fun of the brain-damaged"
    Them's my girls!!

    1. bikerlaureate

      You give us hope for the future.

      For reals, I give cars with Romney bumper stickers a wide berth. The probability seems high that they're either stupid or racist, and it bothers me to be that dismissive of total strangers – but at this point…

  23. johnnyzhivago

    Obama has all kinds of extra secret information that gives him a huge advantage! And he was so mean to Mitt! I say Romney won, based on his good effort and for being a good sport and agreeing to everything.

    1. Gleem McShineys

      Well, hello David Brooks!

      Say, what kind of salve did you use to treat your butthurt?
      Is it something off store shelves, a prescription, or something Mommy Brooks used to rub onto your tender tuchus?

  24. Gorillionaire

    Luntz has such a great racket. Honestly, what the hell is his "expertise" worth? I've seen Wonketters getting stoned at work coming up with wittier statements in a mere seconds that are far better than what Luntz creates after six months of focus groups.

    1. kittensdontlie

      Sounds like the Second Civil War, brought on by the fear the guvmint will outlaw whitey. White is the new black.

  25. belmontreport

    God, Fox better pay their staff a lot, because none of that money goes toward making quality looking tv. Last night I flipped from MSNBC to Fox and it was like I had gone back to the 80s (and not just because their views are so outdated).

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      "I had gone back to the 80s (and not just because their views are so outdated)."

      If it's their views, then yeah, 1880s would have been appropriate.

  26. zombiehunter101

    One wonders why no one picked up on the reason our economy is in the toilet is beacuse of 43's FOREIGN POLICY??? oh yeah…its Fox…disregard.

  27. Mumbletypeg

    "FOOFARAW" sounds like the noise one of those godforsaken sidebar-adverti$ed CabbagePatch® kids would make when I'm this close to ___redacted__ing the living stuffing outa it.

  28. Fare la Volpe

    Grown Woman wearing funky 80s tie: "I think Romney understands the importance of friendship."

    Today's panel brought to you by the Valerie Bertinelli Association for After-School Specials.

  29. KeepFnThatChicken

    Is this what we look and sound like when we're commenting on the liveblog or chatting? Holy shit! No wonder we drink.

    1. tessiee

      There's probably a good reason why you'll find Romney supporters nowhere.

      Also, I wish I could give you an extra thumbs-up for the spare, poetic, almost Zen quality of your comment.

      1. a_pink_poodle

        Well I just modified "When one see's enemies everywhere, one finds friends nowhere." I don't know where I heard that from but feel free to spread it around!

  30. owhatever

    Let's give pudgy Frank some luvz. It was hard to round up that many "undecided" voters this late it the game:

    "You want to be on TV?"
    "Have a chair. Say you haven't made up your mind and that Romney won the debate, you fucking moron."

  31. gingerland62

    After I watch any fox news clip I feel like taking a shower or punching someone,now I know who that someone is-the "undecided" screaming woman in the front row.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      Well, there's two Bug Tussles in the US (TX and AL, natch), but no Fuck Tussle that I could find on the Google Map.

  32. tessiee

    I don't know who the guy making the "thumbs up" gesture is, but the picture alone allows me to deduce that he's a giant asshat, fucktard, and douche canoe.

  33. tessiee

    "who agreed to be smiled at by Sean Hannity"

    By determined effort, I've managed to pretty much block out any awareness of Sean Hannity at all, but I can guess that, given his gigantic watermelon head and lowering caveman brow, he'd be downright terrifying if he smiled.

  34. BaldarTFlagass

    I notice in that top picture that the sultry dusky vixen in the front row doesn't want anyone to know her name. Better hair placement than a bible painting of Eve or the mermaids in that last Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

  35. MinAgain

    If people are still undecided, at this point, does anyone really think that they'll be able to make the myriad other choices that have to be made every. single. day. and still make it to the polling place before it closes?

  36. Mumbletypeg

    @ 3:50 man in back starts, then self-corrects "The ecomoney == I mean the econummy"

    It looks less hilarious written here than it sounds there. But it's preceded with his neighbor-lady's "Foreign trade is… uh.. an important economic.. an important economic thing!"
    which is met with silence briefly, because it seemed she might elaborate, but instead we're left to meditate on her harrowingly impoverished vocabulary.

  37. An_Outhouse

    Wait till they introduce the audience to the guy that's been fucking all of their spouses. It'll be like the Best of Springer.

  38. Generation[redacted]

    Shouty woman is right! 4 dead Americans and 2 weeks to get the whole story is the worst outrage in history!

  39. DahBoner

    That woman in the middle looks like she her Gringo husband forgot to turn off the oven for the Enchillada Suishi Pho Kim Chi Lasagne casserole.


  40. Beowoof

    Geesh, did Frank play with that group to get the answers he wanted. Luntz has a history of making shit up that fits the republican meme, and it's no surprise he is on Fox News. I has a sad, cause so many will listen to and believe this bullshit.

  41. James Michael Curley

    And I was going to offer a comment that the most memorable contribution history will record as Romney's contribution will be as "The Candidate Who Made Being Offensive a Political Virtue."

  42. poorgradstudent

    My only consolation is that these people are the most likely to be kept from voting because they got distracted by their struggle to open a sandwich bag or by the international bikini mud wrestling tournament.

  43. Redgyal

    So the take away is that Mitty went on a foreign policy debate to discuss economics? I haven't seen this much desperate manipulation since high school.

  44. Redgyal

    Oh and the story in the red states is that Bamz was more aggressive because he was like a man who knew he was going to lose and had to fight to keep his position.

  45. larrykat

    That guy on the lower left has got to be some kind of satirical plant. True shit-heels of that caliber are not real.

  46. dispuritanism1

    This is about as laughable as when "Don't be mean to Wall Street" shill Erin Burnett does about the same thing with other f@@@tards in the audience. Speaking of CNN, they still say the last and final debate was too close to call. Yeah, CBS Instant poll that had Obama up by 30 points is still waaaaayyyyy too close. You know what else might be too close? CNN's management's noses to advertising executives' a@@holes.

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