CIVIC DOOBIES  9:36 am October 23, 2012

Innovative Californians Discover Key To Boosting Voter Turnout: Free Weed

by Josh Fruhlinger

I VOTEDYour average American is far too savvy a consumer to just go and do things because it’s a “civic duty” or whatever. These are people who won’t even buy a 12-pack of soda unless it’s on an endcap at the supermarket and is being pushed at 50 percent off, so why should they go to some gross elementary school gymnasium and vote for President, or, worse, “neighborhood council,” which sounds like something out of a terrible reality show, just for the privilege of feeling good about themselves as citizens? Well, the gentle hipsters in Eagle Rock, which is a part of Los Angeles, have figured out a way to lure people to democracy: by giving away $40 worth of medical marijuana to anyone who can bring in proof of voting!

So apparently there are things in Los Angeles called “neighborhood councils” that are elected? And people care about them, to some moderate extent? 792 people voted in Eagle Rock’s election this past weekend, which doesn’t sound like a lot except that the previous year only about 80 people showed up. Were all these extra people drawn in by … marijuana? According to an anonymous flier distributed before the election, maybe! Here, watch this video from the local CBS affiliate and try to determine if any of these people are high right now:

One of the aspects of this story that we find hilarious is that everyone is all like “WE HAVE NO IDEA WHO COULD HAVE HANDED OUT THIS MYSTERIOUS FLIER!!!” and yet presumably somewhere on the flier it tells you where you can go to exchange your “I Voted (In A Pointless Neighborhood Council Election)” sticker for delicious pot? Maybe reporters could go to that location, and ask questions?

Anyway, this weed-for-votes plot seems to have not been so effective. The evil flier urged voters to back the “Progress and Collaboration Slate,” which was running specifically on the issue of medical marijuana dispensaries (Progress and Collaboration wanted a couple, whereas the incumbent Eagle Rock Neighbors Slate opposed them); but only two of the eight Progress and Collaboration candidates won. Progress candidate Mark Smith says that their opponents tried to paint them falsely as supporters of “bordellos and cocaine,” which, have you ever thought that maybe if you had actually supported bordellos and cocaine you might have won, Mr. Smith? Something to think about for your bribe-flier for next year’s election. [CBS]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 108 comments }

neiltheblaze October 23, 2012 at 9:38 am

A $40 value? That's about four doobies, right?

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 9:44 am

You must get yours cheap

neiltheblaze October 23, 2012 at 10:00 am

Yet my unemployment check barely covers it.

thatsitfortheother1 October 23, 2012 at 10:06 am

Food stamps? Health care voucher? Necessity is the mother.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 10:10 am

Deposit bottles.

deanbooth October 23, 2012 at 9:47 am

What this country needs is a good nickel bag.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 9:49 am

You've got my vote.

*pffffffffffffffffffft*

Huh?

noodlesalad October 23, 2012 at 9:50 am

Don't bogart the ballot!

ManchuCandidate October 23, 2012 at 9:39 am

Toke Out the Vote!

EatsBabyDingos October 23, 2012 at 9:40 am

I was scared to go, so no free pot in every chicken for me.

ManchuCandidate October 23, 2012 at 9:43 am

That explains the Loco of El Pollo Loco, no?

eggsacklywright October 23, 2012 at 9:58 am

But not Los Pollos Hermanos…

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 10:02 am

Chick-Phila?

memzilla October 23, 2012 at 9:41 am

"Hello, U-Haul? I need a truck STAT!"

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 9:43 am

Can I move out and change my voting registration before Nov 6?????

There must be at least a two-room cardboard box on Venice Beach I can move into with my cat.

thatsitfortheother1 October 23, 2012 at 10:07 am

For $1800.00 a month.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 10:11 am

That's about what I was budgeting. Do I need to pay by check or will they accept hobo beans?

thatsitfortheother1 October 23, 2012 at 10:17 am

Beans. Gubmint cheese. And suchas.

James Michael Curley October 23, 2012 at 10:10 am

Right next to the skateboard rink will still cost you $2,000 a month.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 10:17 am

Is it cheaper over by Muscle Beach? I heard it was cheaper.

James Michael Curley October 23, 2012 at 10:23 am

Decades ago Muscle Beach was far more expensive. Take the PCH up the road to Zuma Beach. Back then it was the greatest unknown beach in all Southern California. (Other than the nude beach at San Mateo, which, after all, is in Northern California to some.)

thatsitfortheother1 October 23, 2012 at 10:25 am

Rent's the same, but it's all you can eat.

BadKitty904 October 23, 2012 at 9:43 am

"You Must Be at Least This High to Vote"

Barbara_ October 23, 2012 at 10:05 am

Good Kitty!

BadKitty904 October 23, 2012 at 10:10 am

*purrs*

Baconzgood October 23, 2012 at 9:44 am

*pointing to voting booth*

You put your WEED in there.

eggsacklywright October 23, 2012 at 10:08 am

Kush the vote.

OkieDokieDog October 23, 2012 at 9:45 am

I would have voted twice for free pot.

LibertyLover October 23, 2012 at 10:01 am

Voter fraud libel!

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 9:45 am

It's a tokin' effort to get out the vote.

starfanglednut October 23, 2012 at 10:08 am

Let's blast the joint! (with votes)

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 10:13 am
ChillBill October 23, 2012 at 9:45 am

Write-in Willie Nelson!

el_donaldo October 23, 2012 at 9:46 am

Add the dubious legality of bribing someone to vote in a particular manner to the dubious legality of Californian medical marijuana clinics and it's not quite bordellos and cocaine, but it's almost as awesome.

Lot_49 October 23, 2012 at 9:46 am

Hey, it worked for Prop 13. "Lower my own taxes? Bitchen!"

coolhandnuke October 23, 2012 at 9:46 am

Switch the pot with booze and this is like a "Boardwalk Empire" episode,

memzilla October 23, 2012 at 9:46 am

Progress candidate Mark Smith says that their opponents tried to paint them falsely as supporters of “bordellos and cocaine…”

Smith continued: "False! We are the Party of Rent Boys 'N Whippets!"

Estproph October 23, 2012 at 9:47 am

Dude, it's 4:20! It's time to vote!

Yellerdawg October 23, 2012 at 9:48 am

Want some whiskey in your water? Sugar in your tea?
Just get up off the couch and vote for me.
I'm the craziest candidate that could ever be!
If you don't turn on the lights, you may never see.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 9:50 am

And now I'm one vote over the line, sweet Jesus, one vote over the line…

Doktor Zoom October 23, 2012 at 9:48 am

The State Assembly will consider this proposal in a Joint session.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 9:51 am

*pfffffffffffft* TheHonorableRepresentativefromLosGatoshasthemunchies,Imeanfloor….
*PHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW*

eggsacklywright October 23, 2012 at 10:01 am

Papers, please. Zig-Zagging to the polls.

Edit: Gah, memzilla beat me to it.

thatsitfortheother1 October 23, 2012 at 10:09 am

I like it when they ring that big bell. Bong. Bong. Bong.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 10:18 am

We don' need no steenkin' gavels!

Schmannnity October 23, 2012 at 9:48 am

Mitt is the disease, weed the cure.

mrpuma2u October 23, 2012 at 11:43 am

Weed out the crazy cons!!!!

Oblios_Cap October 23, 2012 at 9:48 am

I'm Oblio's_Cap and I approve this message.

noodlesalad October 23, 2012 at 9:49 am

Yes Weed Can

Fired up, ready to toke!

sudsmckenzie October 23, 2012 at 9:50 am

dude, where's my voting booth?

memzilla October 23, 2012 at 9:50 am

In order to vote, Eagle Rock residents must show their papers Zig Zags.

noodlesalad October 23, 2012 at 9:56 am

And demonstrate the proper Bong Form.

FakaktaSouth October 23, 2012 at 9:51 am

20 million people come out to vote for the worst President in history (apologies to Pres Zachary Taylor, but W was worse) over hating gay people, but even whore houses free weed and coke can't move a pothead candidate majority? COME ON PEOPLE, 1 ,2, 3 what are we fighting for? WHORES! Or not, but just, come on.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 9:57 am

Hey, don't harsh my mellow, babe!

thatsitfortheother1 October 23, 2012 at 10:11 am

GIMME AN 'F'!

coolhandnuke October 23, 2012 at 9:53 am

The only cool thing about the Progress and Collaboration Slate's campaign was their bumper stickers "Dope and Strange,"

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 10:03 am

"Be The Strange You Wish To See"

coolhandnuke October 23, 2012 at 10:11 am

Is that one of the zen coneheads that bordello ladies speak.

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 10:19 am

Yes, it's the George M. Conehead. Right there in the Buddha's Five Rules.

thatsitfortheother1 October 23, 2012 at 10:12 am

Add in food and booze, it's the four legs of the table of life..

Zango Crudmonger October 23, 2012 at 9:53 am

Well, it is harvest time. With votes, of course.

BadKitty904 October 23, 2012 at 9:55 am

Harold and Kumar Go to the Polls…

OneYieldRegular October 23, 2012 at 10:01 am

"For free, this is pretty good stuff, man."
"Yeah. LIke awesome, dude."
…..
"So who'd you vote for?"
"Aw, mannnnnn, I totally forgot to vote while we were in there."

Not_So_Much October 23, 2012 at 10:02 am

Gnarly ballot dude.

eggsacklywright October 23, 2012 at 10:02 am

I bet I know what the Furry Freak Bros position on this would be.

thatsitfortheother1 October 23, 2012 at 10:21 am

Beat me to it.

BaldarTFlagass October 23, 2012 at 10:03 am

In other unrelated news, 200% voter turnout.

Come here a minute October 23, 2012 at 10:03 am

"No, man, we're the pot guys. 'Bordellos and cocaine' are down the hall, across from the 'horse and bayonet' guys."

thatsitfortheother1 October 23, 2012 at 10:27 am

Now that's funny! What a schooling.

BaldarTFlagass October 23, 2012 at 10:03 am

Throw in a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos and it's a deal!

LibertyLover October 23, 2012 at 10:03 am

Sounds like the results of the election went Up in Smoke.

SnarkOff October 23, 2012 at 10:04 am

Conspiracy! Eagle Rock is home to Occidental College, formerly attended by Barack Hussein Obama. WAKE UP, STONED SHEEPLE!!!!!!

eggsacklywright October 23, 2012 at 10:05 am

When Holder finds out about this, we'll be tazed and confused.

rocktonsam October 23, 2012 at 10:05 am

will they accept my proof of voting in Wisconsin?

if so, Fed Ex my bag please.

they still say doobie?

Jus_Wonderin October 23, 2012 at 10:05 am

OT: Is there a way to see which posts (from the beginning of the Wonkette Big Bang) have the most page views? Search box doesn't help (or I am not inserting the right stuff into that box).

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 10:09 am

See the box in the lower left corner? Sitemeter? That's a good first step.

Jus_Wonderin October 23, 2012 at 10:12 am

It's soooo tiny. “That's what she said.”

actor212 October 23, 2012 at 10:15 am

You won't get "since inception"…I think the most you can go back is thirty days…but you'll likely run across the one that's gotten the most hits and you can sort it out from there with a little legwork

Jus_Wonderin October 23, 2012 at 10:18 am

Thanks Actor!!

James Michael Curley October 23, 2012 at 10:06 am

Eagle Rock, LA – first place I stayed when I moved out to LA. Watched Nixon's resignation speech with my gracious hostess while doing a blunt and quaffing a Napa Valley Sparkling whatever they had to stop calling Champagne.

eggsacklywright October 23, 2012 at 10:14 am

Cooks still has the Champagne word on its label. When I worked in the wine biz, if someone asked me what it tasted like, I said lemon juice, cardboard, and sugar.
Not to say there aren't some very good sparkling wine producers in Cali.

thatsitfortheother1 October 23, 2012 at 10:29 am

Épernay libel!

eggsacklywright October 23, 2012 at 10:51 am

There's nothing like the rill thing.

BadKitty904 October 23, 2012 at 10:10 am

Inhale the Good Shit, Exhale the Bullshit

~ College Stoners for Politicians with Funny Names

spareme October 23, 2012 at 10:10 am

Reminds me of a par-tay I went to during Nixons impeachment era – the hostess passed Ludes out at the door. Then she passed a petition in support of Nixon, which of course everyone signed. I pocketed my Lude and went elsewhere!

randcoolcatdaddy October 23, 2012 at 11:03 am

Everyone needed some kind of drugs to survive the Nixon years.

DahBoner October 23, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Ludes

TIMBER!!!

RomneysLogCabin October 23, 2012 at 10:11 am

In Eagle Rock, pot dealer pays you.

LibertyLover October 23, 2012 at 10:11 am

I was gonna go vote before I got high
I coulda voted and I coulda got my "I voted today" sticker but I got high…

thatsitfortheother1 October 23, 2012 at 10:13 am

What's next, Tree Frog Beer?

eggsacklywright October 23, 2012 at 10:19 am

If you're a hop-head.

pinkocommi October 23, 2012 at 10:20 am

I'm holding out for a free blow job.

thatsitfortheother1 October 23, 2012 at 10:30 am

Me too. But only for the last 50 years or so.

RufusTFirefly October 23, 2012 at 11:20 am

Congratulations on your happy marriage, sir.

RomneysLogCabin October 23, 2012 at 10:22 am

This campaign should apply across the board: free immigrant with amnesty support, free 'samples' with legalized prostitution (eww), etc.

That's my non sequitur comment of the day.

NorthStarSpanx October 23, 2012 at 10:23 am

We'll see on November 7 which brought in more voters, MJ or the threat of 1,000 years of darkness. . .

SayItWithWookies October 23, 2012 at 10:27 am

C'mon everybody — do your civic doobie! What?

AnAmericanInTO October 23, 2012 at 10:33 am

A question from a non-user: how much IS $40 worth of weed? If they're willing to just give it away, it can't be much, right?

Zango Crudmonger October 23, 2012 at 10:44 am

An eight of an ounce, more or less 3.5grams. Enough for 3-6 joints depending how you roll 'em YMMV

The markets vary widely across the nation,
http://legalmarijuanadispensary.com/index.php?opt

mrblifil October 23, 2012 at 10:44 am

Quit bogarting my jones.

kittensdontlie October 23, 2012 at 11:10 am

A Rumination about the Animation: Does Weed need to smoke weed to get high??

DahBoner October 23, 2012 at 12:02 pm

"Dave's not here, man"

a_pink_poodle October 23, 2012 at 12:04 pm

That makes a good car alarm too. *BEEP BEEP BEEP FREE BAGGIES OF WEED FREE BAGGIES OF WEED BEEP BEEP BEEP*

Sharkey October 23, 2012 at 12:07 pm

This is good news for Towlie.

ttommyunger October 23, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I guess I picked the wrong week to give up weed.

Woodshedding October 23, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Yep, it's true. Barry went to college in Eagle Rock. So did I. What people don't realize is, East LA sucks so much, you need weed just to neutralize the effects of the neighborhood. It doesn't even make you high there.

just_a_head October 23, 2012 at 11:16 pm

"Vote early and toke often"

thatsitfortheother1 October 23, 2012 at 10:16 am

See?

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