Innovative Californians Discover Key To Boosting Voter Turnout: Free Weed

  civic doobies

I VOTEDYour average American is far too savvy a consumer to just go and do things because it’s a “civic duty” or whatever. These are people who won’t even buy a 12-pack of soda unless it’s on an endcap at the supermarket and is being pushed at 50 percent off, so why should they go to some gross elementary school gymnasium and vote for President, or, worse, “neighborhood council,” which sounds like something out of a terrible reality show, just for the privilege of feeling good about themselves as citizens? Well, the gentle hipsters in Eagle Rock, which is a part of Los Angeles, have figured out a way to lure people to democracy: by giving away $40 worth of medical marijuana to anyone who can bring in proof of voting!

So apparently there are things in Los Angeles called “neighborhood councils” that are elected? And people care about them, to some moderate extent? 792 people voted in Eagle Rock’s election this past weekend, which doesn’t sound like a lot except that the previous year only about 80 people showed up. Were all these extra people drawn in by … marijuana? According to an anonymous flier distributed before the election, maybe! Here, watch this video from the local CBS affiliate and try to determine if any of these people are high right now:

One of the aspects of this story that we find hilarious is that everyone is all like “WE HAVE NO IDEA WHO COULD HAVE HANDED OUT THIS MYSTERIOUS FLIER!!!” and yet presumably somewhere on the flier it tells you where you can go to exchange your “I Voted (In A Pointless Neighborhood Council Election)” sticker for delicious pot? Maybe reporters could go to that location, and ask questions?

Anyway, this weed-for-votes plot seems to have not been so effective. The evil flier urged voters to back the “Progress and Collaboration Slate,” which was running specifically on the issue of medical marijuana dispensaries (Progress and Collaboration wanted a couple, whereas the incumbent Eagle Rock Neighbors Slate opposed them); but only two of the eight Progress and Collaboration candidates won. Progress candidate Mark Smith says that their opponents tried to paint them falsely as supporters of “bordellos and cocaine,” which, have you ever thought that maybe if you had actually supported bordellos and cocaine you might have won, Mr. Smith? Something to think about for your bribe-flier for next year’s election. [CBS]

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About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger

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108 comments

  1. actor212

    Can I move out and change my voting registration before Nov 6?????

    There must be at least a two-room cardboard box on Venice Beach I can move into with my cat.

        1. James Michael Curley

          Decades ago Muscle Beach was far more expensive. Take the PCH up the road to Zuma Beach. Back then it was the greatest unknown beach in all Southern California. (Other than the nude beach at San Mateo, which, after all, is in Northern California to some.)

  2. el_donaldo

    Add the dubious legality of bribing someone to vote in a particular manner to the dubious legality of Californian medical marijuana clinics and it's not quite bordellos and cocaine, but it's almost as awesome.

  3. memzilla

    Progress candidate Mark Smith says that their opponents tried to paint them falsely as supporters of “bordellos and cocaine…”

    Smith continued: "False! We are the Party of Rent Boys 'N Whippets!"

  4. Yellerdawg

    Want some whiskey in your water? Sugar in your tea?
    Just get up off the couch and vote for me.
    I'm the craziest candidate that could ever be!
    If you don't turn on the lights, you may never see.

  5. FakaktaSouth

    20 million people come out to vote for the worst President in history (apologies to Pres Zachary Taylor, but W was worse) over hating gay people, but even whore houses free weed and coke can't move a pothead candidate majority? COME ON PEOPLE, 1 ,2, 3 what are we fighting for? WHORES! Or not, but just, come on.

  6. coolhandnuke

    The only cool thing about the Progress and Collaboration Slate's campaign was their bumper stickers "Dope and Strange,"

  7. OneYieldRegular

    "For free, this is pretty good stuff, man."
    "Yeah. LIke awesome, dude."
    …..
    "So who'd you vote for?"
    "Aw, mannnnnn, I totally forgot to vote while we were in there."

  8. Come here a minute

    "No, man, we're the pot guys. 'Bordellos and cocaine' are down the hall, across from the 'horse and bayonet' guys."

  9. SnarkOff

    Conspiracy! Eagle Rock is home to Occidental College, formerly attended by Barack Hussein Obama. WAKE UP, STONED SHEEPLE!!!!!!

  10. rocktonsam

    will they accept my proof of voting in Wisconsin?

    if so, Fed Ex my bag please.

    they still say doobie?

  11. Jus_Wonderin

    OT: Is there a way to see which posts (from the beginning of the Wonkette Big Bang) have the most page views? Search box doesn't help (or I am not inserting the right stuff into that box).

        1. actor212

          You won't get "since inception"…I think the most you can go back is thirty days…but you'll likely run across the one that's gotten the most hits and you can sort it out from there with a little legwork

  12. James Michael Curley

    Eagle Rock, LA – first place I stayed when I moved out to LA. Watched Nixon's resignation speech with my gracious hostess while doing a blunt and quaffing a Napa Valley Sparkling whatever they had to stop calling Champagne.

    1. eggsacklywright

      Cooks still has the Champagne word on its label. When I worked in the wine biz, if someone asked me what it tasted like, I said lemon juice, cardboard, and sugar.
      Not to say there aren't some very good sparkling wine producers in Cali.

  13. spareme

    Reminds me of a par-tay I went to during Nixons impeachment era – the hostess passed Ludes out at the door. Then she passed a petition in support of Nixon, which of course everyone signed. I pocketed my Lude and went elsewhere!

  14. LibertyLover

    I was gonna go vote before I got high
    I coulda voted and I coulda got my "I voted today" sticker but I got high…

  15. RomneysLogCabin

    This campaign should apply across the board: free immigrant with amnesty support, free 'samples' with legalized prostitution (eww), etc.

    That's my non sequitur comment of the day.

  16. NorthStarSpanx

    We'll see on November 7 which brought in more voters, MJ or the threat of 1,000 years of darkness. . .

  17. AnAmericanInTO

    A question from a non-user: how much IS $40 worth of weed? If they're willing to just give it away, it can't be much, right?

  18. a_pink_poodle

    That makes a good car alarm too. *BEEP BEEP BEEP FREE BAGGIES OF WEED FREE BAGGIES OF WEED BEEP BEEP BEEP*

  19. Woodshedding

    Yep, it's true. Barry went to college in Eagle Rock. So did I. What people don't realize is, East LA sucks so much, you need weed just to neutralize the effects of the neighborhood. It doesn't even make you high there.

Comments are closed.