My God...It's full of hooves

Yes, There Will Be A Debate Livebloog Tonight!

All Your Foreign Policy Are Belong To UsSettle down, you miscreants! We know we freaked you out a little today by not updating while Your Editrix was out and the Brazilians came back, but rest assured: Tudo está de volta ao normal agora.

Joining Your Doktor Zoom at 9 Eastern tonight (via the sekrit Wonkette Chat Cave) will be Your Editrix, Your Jesse Taylor, and a Very Special Mystery Guest who we promise is not Clint Eastwood, though we will not absolutely rule out the possibility of talking to furniture.

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About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

Hola wonkerados.

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198 comments

  1. YouFail4eva

    But will there be cake and buttsechs? These are the issues that the undecided bloggee needs to know about!

          1. YouFail4eva

            Yeah, but then I have gas tomorrow, and the last time I had gas I knocked out a conference room… it was very traumatic. Now I just drink brine. A lot less flatulence.

  2. JackObin

    In honor of the future President, I will not drink alcohol or coffee this evening, but will attempt to make many babies.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      And in honor of our current President, I will be a fake Muslo-commie, while smoking in secret and screaming OSAMA IS DEAD MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

      Also, NO MORE BABIES, yes more alcohol.

      1. prommie

        Amen! No more babies! They clutter up the getaway car something awful, next thing you know we're knocking off 7-11s for huggies and leaving the kids on the roof of the car.

  3. sbj1964

    The Rumble in the Jungle!OK it's Florida.The scuffle on the the shuffleboard court.Two old guys argueing.Is Florida ready for this?

          1. Barbara_

            WeeJee, I landed in LA and tapped everyone on the shoulder and asked if they knew how I could find Rebecca. I might have tried to slap the information out of some.

          2. Barbara_

            Yes, Babydoll. I will be there again next month and we must be outdoorsy and drink on patios. Love ya!

      1. chascates

        No, but I'm butchering a pig this week for a birthday party this weekend. The cheeks of the horse are highly prized in parts of Europe and I've always wanted to try curing the rear leg of a horse or donkey for a ham.

          1. chascates

            I've seen several recipes for roasting a lamb in the ground pit. I forget the particulars but the photos looked delicious.
            We'll be roasting the pig whole. He's about 5 months old and led a very happy life.

  4. Monsieur_Grumpe

    I assume that the notable Brazilian Wonkette invasion will be one the hot topics tonight. I mean, what else have they got to talk about that is more important?

    1. dawgeral

      That "thing" flopping around the living-room floor is NOT your liver. Look, one of the batteries fell out! It stopped. :(

  5. Callyson

    No class tonight so I'm in. Have been anxious about this thing all day so I hope O brings his A-game.

  6. Lot_49

    Okay, I've got a bottle of a Columbia Crest red blend they call "Walter Clore" to start with. It's from 2001 and may be a bit past its prime, so I've decanted it and am pounding some cheap red to cleanse my palette…

    What? This isn't the wine forum? Shoot, guess I'll go mix a few liters of Martinis.

  7. Veritas78

    So why do I have to log in every time I refresh? Anyone else encounter this irritating quirk?

    Last time I ended up toggling back and forth between the current page (let's call it N) and the previous page (that would be N minus 1) and then back to N again, which seemed a roundabout way of refreshing, but at least I didn't have to log in again.

    Although, with my new, larger p-ness, "logging in" could be more fun.

    1. HouseOfTheBlueLights

      I'm not having to re-log (that sounds dirty), but I'm also not getting anyone's icons. I blame Al Gore.

  8. stly92

    Watching MSNBC, trying to convince me that Romney will win. Dammit, the electoral maps are favoring Obama! Right? Right?

    1. gullywompr

      Right. Chuck Todd wants a long career, so he shy away from making any declarations that are inside the margin of error, and still relying on polls from people that still answer the phone for unknown numbers (old people, hoping it's Sonny).

  9. SorosBot

    I'm staying with my parents' in between my old apartment and the move out west, so no alcohol for me beyond the bit I've already had sadly.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      YAY OUT WEST, you crazy kids, I am so happy! And jealous. But very very happy. Wonkette love, it is the greatest.

      1. MissTaken

        I have a suspicion we'll see some similar posts from some nice young Alabama lady soon enough. Smooches!

    2. MissTaken

      I'm drinking some Benessere Sangiovese in your honor. Too bad your parent's are lushes and drank everything I brought them in 2 days!

  10. coolhandnuke

    Live from Boca Raton–the Rat's Mouth.
    Apropos to be tuned in from my basement–the Ratskeller, pouring copious libations down my gullet.

  11. prommie

    I want Fakakta to be the special mystery guest! She is the smartest most funniest and most beautiful snarky politics-pop-culture-life commentator ever!

      1. prommie

        No fucking lie. All my life I always been the smartest human in the room (not because I am all that because aI never got out in the world) but she's fucking brilliant quick whipsmart. Makes me humble.

    1. HouseOfTheBlueLights

      I'm playing hookey from the show I'm supposed to be housemanaging. Faking a fever. I got it bad.

  12. savethispatient

    The debate is being held in Lynn. Good job the VP debate wasn't there, I doubt Biden could have held back from making a "she's a very accommodating girl, that Lynn" joke!

  13. C_R_Eature

    The Secret Guest: it's just too bad Andrew Breitbart's Still Dead.

    It's not Tucker Carlson, isn't it?

  14. GuanoFaucet

    a Very Special Mystery Guest who we promise is not Clint Eastwood, though we will not absolutely rule out the possibility of talking to furniture.

    I guess that rules out Barney Frank as the mystery guest.

  15. el_donaldo

    The Brazilians came back? maybe tonight I'll finally get an answer to my question about monkeys in Rio.

  16. VodkaGoGo

    I wasn't going to watch the debate tonight but I don't think I can stand watching the Lions fail on national tv for the next 3 hours, there isn't enough vodka in the world.

  17. Veritas78

    Aha. "Turn on third-party cookies." But just this once. (I don't recall be able to turn on first-party cookies, but I'll give it a shot!)

  18. Chet Kincaid_

    Alright, I'm callin' it — I'm sticking with the Bears until Mrs. Kincaid comes home in an hour, and then watching the debate on DVR. Y'all can use my ration of snark until late night!

  19. HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Tonight's drinking game. Take a drink every time your glass is empty, and don't stop until 2016, when Hillary can rescue us from this idiocy.

    1. chascates

      He's been wearing that 'look at me' flag pin in all the debates. I think there should be a standard size, except for formal events. Big flag pins on jammies are ok.

  20. gullywompr

    Bamz just justified the US deaths offset Gadhaffi's death – end justified the means. Not good.

  21. lulzmonger

    Murmle-murmle-murmle! Simper for dear life, Willard! Suck the chrome BACK ON that trailer-hitch! Your Mittmentum is deflating!

  22. Veritas78

    "I've said everything, so the President's always wrong for attacking any specific thing I've said."

  23. prommie

    Mitt's so fucking dumb he does not know how to do diplomacy you do not say the situation in Syria is "an opportunity for us," like we are vampires loooking to profit on blood and how does anyone want to help us there if he says outright its only our selfish interest is why we want to do something?

  24. ChessieNefercat

    Plz we can haz mobile wonkette? Withheld fomented? What? Going. Stupendous acid! Shit. Stupid make up words, pfft

    Edit going equal fucking. Meep

Comments are closed.