Libya: Which One Was That Again?

U.S Americans, Like Such As In The Iraq: Your Foreign Policy Debate Liveblog

International Friendship Is Magic!Greetings, Wonkers, and welcome back to Wonkette’s State of the Art LiveBlogoPlex for the final Debate-O-Palooza of the 2012 Presidential campaign! Your Editrix and most of the Wonkette staff are standing by via the Top Sekrit Wonkette ChatCave for what promises to be a thoughtful and nuanced discussion of the many subtleties of international relations! Or maybe a lot of accusations and lying, it could go either way.

So many questions! Has Obama agreed to talk to Iran if he’s re-elected? Will Romney talk to Iran if he wins? Are either of these guys still on speaking terms with each other? Will moderator Bob Schieffer be able to rein in either candidate, or will Mitt cold-cock him with a solid bar of gold? Which Barack Obama will show up tonight: the sleepy dude from the first debate, the feisty smart guy from the second debate, or a third, as-yet unknown Obama, some hybrid narcoleptic street fighter who throws a verbal jab and then morphs into a giant robot…which then falls asleep? And what are the implications for our relations with Brazil?

While we wait for the debate, let’s review some fundamentals of foreign policy, with the man who taught us everything we know about the topic:

8:55 We have been preparing for the liveblog tonight by spending the last week and a half doing online scoring for the essay portion of the SAT’s. The group that we have been reading is responding to this prompt:

Should we care just as much about people in other countries as we do about people in our own country? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

The reason we mention this is as a reminder of just how much average Americans understand about foreign policy (or anything else). In the past 10 days, we have learned the following (mostly verbatim, with some reconstructions):

  • As Martin Luther King said, all people are created equal.
  • During world War II, America declared war with Vietnam…
  • Why did America interfere and drop the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki? We had many alliances, and even though the Jews in America were not in any danger, we had to act to save the lives of the Jews in World War II.
  • As members of the human race, we must shed our skin and unite for all mankind.

And from a kid who went on to write a heck of a good essay,

  • “It has been said that ignorance is bliss, which is often true — who really wants to know the components of SPAM?”

We also have read essay after essay in which the students assert that the US entered WW II mostly for the purpose of stopping the Holocaust, which is a nice sentiment, but a little disconnected from real history. We also do not score down for factual errors, since we’re supposed to just focus on organization and the existence, reality-based or not, of evidence. (Which one kid clearly knew about, since he wrote: “When Thomas Jefferson gave aid to all those in South Africa after the sea otter invasion, it was a gesture of good faith.”)

What any of this has to do with the foreign policy debate tonight, we leave up to you, gentle readers.

9:00 “The audience has taken a vow of silence.” But not celibacy, one hopes.

9:03 We are debating during the 50th anniversary of the Cuban Missile Crisis. This is very important, because we are painfully aware that neither of these men is a Jack Kennedy.

9:05 First question is about Libya — talk about unexpected! Mitt knows the names of other African / Middle Eastern countries! Flawless victory! But he says we can’t kill our way out of this mess? He just lost the Republican Base.

9:10 Barry is going to put Benghazi in context. Yes we got attacked, but Libyans don’t need to be carpet-bombed, either, because they like us. Mitt has a laundry list of things that might help, but also, Al-Qaeda!!!! Second mention of Mali in 10 minutes!

9:12 “The Cold War called and it wants its foreign policy back” — nice line, flat, rushed delivery. Barry! Don’t step on your zinger like that!

9:13 Rebecca adds: that zinger was SO LAME, and Kirsten Boyd Johnson just laughed SO HARD. Have I already gotten her drunk??? (OK, so that’s our Special Guest, who IS yelling at furniture already!)

9:15 They are arguing about Mitt’s posture. He seems to be sitting up straight, though.

9:17 Rebecca notes: 100 percent approval CNN for “nation building at home.” But STOP SPENDING MONEY ON THINGS AT HOME!!!!

9:18 There is literally NOTHING funny about Syria, and probably little U.S. America can do about it… Mitt will plunge into suggesting we could fuck Iran over real good if we get the right government in there…and we won’t get directly involved. YAY FOR CLARITY!

9:20 Since Syria is too depressing, we will pass on Rich Abdill’s pre-debate fashion note: “The president’s suit jacket doesn’t have a vent but Romney’s does — mayhaps because only one will be talking from his rear?”

9:22 Every time Mitt says “Assad,” we hear “dressage.” Is that just us?

9:24 Women finally get mentioned in the debate! They’re Egyptian, though. Is Obama going to give them slut pills?

9:28 Mitt is unhappy that Obama didn’t prevent the Arab Spring…by, uh, shuffling “our friend” aside more quicker? Huh? WE NEED TO GIT OUT OF DEBT AND SPEND MUCH MORE ON OUR MILITARY!

9:30 What is America’s role in the world? Man, if only the students taking the SATs could brief the candidates….

9:32 It is now “strong America” time. Barry points out that we have allies in addition to Israel, a contention that may throw the fact-checkers into a tizzy.

9:33 Rich Abdill: “How does it look over on CNN? Have all the people with the dials gone to bed?”

Jesse Taylor: the people with dials are all gay married to barry
Rebecca S. SUPER gay married to Barry
Rich A. I did not know sharia allowed that?
Rebecca S. Before he even says “the” the dials skyrocket
jesse t. like, aired on Bravo gay married

9:36 Blair Burke, our special FLOTUS Correspondent, has joined the Sekrit ChatCave: “I just turned this on…I’m glad there is still time to give the finger to the teachers’ unions though”

9:38 Bob Shieffer thinks he is a moderator or something, and mentions “foreign policy.” Mittens says he must speak. Barry must speak, too! It is a big pile of talking over each other!! What about the Navy and how will you pay for it?

9:40 Cutting Obamacare, which the CBO has projected will reduce the deficit, will save money, because MAGIC.

9:43 Here is Mitt’s face, so very happy after he said “You got that fact wrong Mr. President” Sez Your Editrix: CAR SALESMAN FACE


9:44 Barry has thrown the Civil War Re-enactor vote out the window with his slander of horses and bayonets.

9:46 Is Israel part of America now? Fox News has a map ready to go that says it IS.

9:49 Mitt is in favor of crippling sanctions like the ones Barry has put in place. If elected, he will have the Doctor take him back to the Bush administration to put them in place sooner, and more crippling-er.

9:52 Barry’s “you’d do what we did, but you’d have said it louder” isn’t bad, but only partly zingy. It’s no definition of what a submarine is.

9:54 Apology Tour! DRINK!

9:55 Rebecca sez, “Can we get a Hillz shout-out? We’re like an hour in to a foreign policy debate, and she’s the most popular member of THE HUMAN RACE.”

We just want to say, no, sorry, still Michael Jackson.

9:56 Oh, c’mon, Barry. Not just, “Nothing he’s said is true,” but “Everything he’s said is a LIE”

9:58 Comparative Foreign Trips During the Campaign BEATDOWN

10:00 Did YOU go to Yad Vashem, Mr. Romney? It commemorates the victims of the Holocaust (Which the US joined WW II to stop, according to 11th and 12th graders)

10:01 Rebecca sez: “Point of personal privilege: during the GOP primary debates, all of them were like “I would be sabotaging Iran in secret,” like Obama WASN’T. Like we weren’t killing all those Iranian scientists.”

Once again, we must reply, nope, that was still Michael Jackson.

10:02 Mittens, again with the “tumult.” Why does it sound like Yiddish when he says “tumult”?

10:04 Did you see Romney’s eyebrows just before the Afghanistan question? They were like 3/4 of the way up his forehead. What was that?

10:07 “Time to do some nation-building at home” — Barry, you stole that from one of the SAT kids, I’m pretty sure.

10:10 We will not divorce Pakistan. Don’t you wish Newt had won the nomination? Then we could talk about having an open relationship with other countries.

10:12 We need to stop just killing people and move the world away from Islamic extremism. We should yell about Ground Zero Mosques and maybe burn some Korans, and then NOT APOLOGIZE.

10:14: Special Guest Furniture-Shouter Kirsten Boyd Johnston: Mitt is actually coming off as Sarah Palin, rattling off everything he’s learned in the last 48 hours from Wikipedia. “The Haqqani network” and “they’re PASHTUNS!”

(The Rule of 3 requires this: No, it’s Michael Jackson)

10:17 Jesse Taylor: WHY IS NOBODY ADDRESSING MALI ??

10:19 Mitt thinks that we can be partners with the Chinese, who last week were despicable currency manipulators (Day One!). But we must be strong, so they respect us! “Your chinaman is like a high-spirited terrier in this, you must show him who’s the alpha dog” …. is what Mitt is saying (but not saying.)

10:21 You know all about shipping jobs overseas, don’t you Governor? BOOM!

10:23 Rebecca: “KBJ is VERY UPSET that Romney keeps talking about the sequestration as “Obama’s budget.” We have gotten her REALLY DRUNK. Any minute she is going to agree to model the NEW WONKETTE T-SHIRTS for pictures and such.”

10:25 Again with the idea that GM could have found private funding for the bailout. Michigan and Ohio are listening. Also, investing in research is good. Investing in three companies I just named is bad.

10:26 (Dammit, KB Johnson, not Johnston. SORRY! Come back and write for us and we will spell your name right at least 47% of the time)

10:28 Mitt is pretending that he can feel empathy. And that Egg weeps. Brent Spiner pulled this off a lot more convincingly.

10:29 Rich Abdill: “I don’t care what Romney’s positions are — when he smiles I want to throw a rock at the TV”

10:30 Closing statements! They are… well, truncated stump speeches, really. Barry is doing the sincere and emphatic thing where he points at the viewer to show he means it, dammit. Mittens is karate-chopping the air for emphasis and telling us how he will get along with everyone. It is not a Huge Fail but not a huge win, either…and something something torch singer.

10:34 Barry wins the all-important handshake-with-the-moderator race! Jesse T adds, “CNN’s panel HATED romney tonight
…feels like when i talked to my dad that one time”

10:36 Rebecca S: Like that Kiefer Sutherland movie FLATLINER, that is CNN’s viewers on Romney
Rich A: But in the end Sutherland came back
Rich A: …right?

(Ever heard of a “spoiler alert,” Rich?) Also, no, that was Michael Jackson.

10:38 Rebecca: “HAHAHAHA KBJ: Who’s this person who sounds like a football announcer? (IT IS CHRIS MATTHEWS! GUESS WHO DOES NOT HAVE TV!!!!)”

10:40 We have PBS muted, so whatever bland thing David Brooks is mouthing right now is going missing. So far, no callers to CSPAN have punk’d the call-in hosts. Rebecca notes: “Gergen thinks Romney passed the “commander in chief” test despite having his second loss in a row. Gergen thinks his LACK OF WARMONGERING helped him. Would probably help him more if he wasn’t a warmonger”

The consensus is that Obama “won,” but that “Romney held serve by just saying everything Obama said, with caveats” (Jesse), which we think is a tennis thing. MSNBC is rerunning the “apology tour” and “Whopper” reply…and Andrea Mitchell’s fact-check just broke up in the lag on the webstream. We really should get cable some day.

There is still a day left in the SAT scoring project, so we had best get back to it. Goodnight, and remember to buy Old Handsome Joe Biden a Trans Am. kkkkkkk!

About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom
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2,729 comments

    1. miss_grundy

      I thought he was full of bullshit already. Isn't it enough that he has binders full of women???

    1. VodkaGoGo

      The Lions are losing in Chicago because of Chicago style failed liberal policies defense, if that's your thing.

  1. Loch_Nessosaur

    Mittz' foreign policy solutions – blustering, berating and/or bombing, in no certain order.

    1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Really what his foreign policy prescription seemed to be was if he stamps his feet hard enough every one will listen. What I found really galling is that while discussing Iran who since we're no longer occupying Iraq has become irrelevent again no one discussed the MOST volatile relationship in the world: India and Pakistan. You want a weapons buildup? check. Nuclear missles? check. Deep, long standing bloody hatred? check. Hatred that is so deep they will go to war over a region Led Zeppelin sang about? check. If there is going to be an event where someone nukes someone else in the ME it won't be Israel-Iran it will be India-Pakistan. Rombot is also a moron…the ISI is WHO is supporting the terrorists what kill us, Rombot.

      1. sewollef

        Hmm Mr/Ms Willardbot9000…. I think you just got notice of an update — to v3.0. And well deserved it is too.

        Should make you run faster and download smoother.

      2. sullivanst

        Yeah, Mitt blathered on about how he'd learned about the Haqqani network on Wikipedia over the weekend, I don't remember him mentioning Lashkar, though. Y'know, the guys who murdered 164 people in Mumbai in 2008.

          1. MittBorg

            When he starts talking about what the Pashtuns are up to in Pakistan, without even mentioning the Lashkar e Taiba and the horrible things happening in the border regions that we absofuckinglutely do NOT want to be involved in under any circumstances lest we risk another Kampuchea if not world nuclear war …

            I gotta stop listening to that asshole. He's doing horrible things to my blood pressure, the ignorant bint.

          2. sullivanst

            It's OK, if you don't like what Mitt's saying now, wait for the next sentence and see if his revised position is more to your liking.On second thoughts, no, you're right, not listening to him is much the better course.Also too, I seem to recall being somewhat offended at the moment he said it by the implication that being Pashtun meant you were necessarily part of the Taliban. I believe there's a word for that kind of generalization… what is it.. I know I know it… oh yes, that's it: Racist.But then there was so much other “stuff” the memory of it got buried.And yeah, I'd rather not have our troops be dicking around on the world's highest, coldest and most expensive battlefield.

    1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      You guys can both deep throat a Rombot with its cactus app. engaged just to have Tweety moderate. Here's why: because he'd yell at everyone, I mean EVERYONE. Bamz got some good slams in there but could you imagine Tweety bird calling Romney a cynical, value free chameleon? Then yelling at Tagg…egg, everyone. Yes he's pompous and irritating but really what this debate needs is a moderate who'll tell Miffed, "you're not speaking now, I am!" with his voice raised. Just my opinion…especially if he's drunk first.

  2. snowpointsecret

    Unless they say all answers while inhaling helium from balloons this is probably going to be lackluster.

  3. Tilley

    It's PBS for me. They've got me through so far. The spouse insists on CNN until it actually starts.

      1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

        Don't forget Newt qualified Miffed's foreign policy experience because of his foreign bank accounts and use of exotic international loopholes to dodge taxes on his billions. That was still one of the funniest 'qualified' arguments I've ever read/heard…

  4. Callyson

    And no, right wing paranoiacs, I have not shared the questions with anyone. Schieffer must read Wonkette!

    1. bikerlaureate

      Like so many things pertaining in any way to the GOP, it sounds much better in the original German.

  5. Negropolis

    I'm having a bad day; hopefully, this doesn't make it worse.

    Doc, be careful with any embedded tweets. If they are legitimate, they have a way of shutting this whole thing down.

  6. noodlesalad

    Cuban missile crisis opening! Romney excited to talk about the dire threat of the Soviet Union right off the bat.

  7. VodkaGoGo

    I for one love the ponies Doc. Like really, really love the ponies. I owe some certain people some money, is what I'm saying.

  8. el_donaldo

    liveblogoplex?

    Is that a syphilis or herpes variety, or is it more like the Legoplex your kids can play in while you check yourself into the Abortionplex?

  9. chascates

    Actually, shit just happens. Any time we have a crisis like this in a foreign country it took a while to figure out the details. Bub.

  10. SayItWithWookies

    Oh let's start off with this Benghazi nonsense again. Can we just trivially criticize people for everything they do now, while shit is happening? Oh right — they've been doing that all along. Proceed, Mitt.

  11. snowpointsecret

    Hey sure let's start with continuing the biggest thing that had impact last debate.

    Also who's flipping these coins? Did he by chance call a Steelers game a few years ago?

    1. ibwilliamsi

      It's the only way he can stop himself from smacking Mittens upside the head and screaming, "It's ON!"

  12. SorosBot

    Will they give me a good reason not to be in Skyrim and dealing with the foreign oppressors of the Aldmeri Dominion tonight?

    1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Or…slaughtering corporate drones from Hyperion while taking down Mitt Romney's video game equivolent "Handsome" Jack (he even looks like Romney) in Borderlands 2?

      1. Maman

        Yes, but the Prince I have picked out for my daughter is still single.

        It will be an epic love story. From the Schmelz (steel mill where her great grandfather worked) to the Palace! Sophie/Sebastien 2020!

  13. Tilley

    Yeah, get the wimmin in there Rominator. Nevermind it has nothing to do with the attack in Libya.

    His heart and mind goes to them? Is that where his mind done gone.

  14. GuanoFaucet

    Shorter Mitt: I plan to talk over the moderator, and more generally be a condescending asshole.

  15. miss_grundy

    Why does Rmoney always go first in these debates??? I put the tv on mute because I can't stand the sound of his voice..

  16. C_R_Eature

    The greatest threat of all, in fact, Mr Romney are the Neocon Bushies you're gathered around you as Foreign Policy Advisers.

    You Fuck.

  17. MissTaken

    Word of advice: DO NOT watch debate airing and coverage on Wall Street Journal Live (its the only HD quality I can watch on Steve Jobs TV). Ugh, gross. And Mitt in HD looks like a lobster.

  18. Callyson

    Four years closer to a nuclear weapon–oh BS. There is *no* evidence that the Iranians have made that kind of progress. Four years =/= four years of *progress*. Not surprised Romney does not know the difference…

    1. snowpointsecret

      If Iran ever gets a nuclear weapon, isn't it by default 4 years closer just by laws of the passage of time anyway? The whole argument still means nothing.

      1. Native_of_SL_UT

        During Obama's term, I have gotten 4 years closer to my untimely death at 92 at the hands of jealous husband. Vote for Mitt!

    2. sullivanst

      And you run you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
      Chasing around to come up behind you again
      The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older
      Shorter of breath, one day closer to death

      Mitt the fatalist?

  19. FakaktaSouth

    Haha Mitt's trying to cut PresO off at the pass, congrats on Osama, please let's not talk about that anymore.

  20. SayItWithWookies

    Mitt: We must have a comprehensive strategy. Well — that's some detailed shit right there, from the guy who claims the president has no agenda for the next four years.

  21. Incitefully_Joe

    So, how does everyone on earth not think "Four years closer to a nuclear weapon" isn't the most idiotic formulation ever devised?

    I've been stuck in a crappy administrative job for the past four years, that sure as fuck doesn't make me "four years closer" to being a sexy millionaire who bangs supermodels on alternating weekends.

  22. PugglesRule

    "At the cost of less than what we spent in 2 weeks in Iraq" — good fact, O, I hope this means something to voters.

  23. Callyson

    Oh yeah–Obama pointed out that Mittens' strategy has been all over the map. Just like all of his other policy positions…

    1. bikerlaureate

      Well, he's been honest to a fault so far.

      . . .

      We're all too wrapped up in instant gratification anyway.

  24. GuanoFaucet

    Obama should have said: Mitt's foreign policy strategy is all over the map, just like his bank accounts.

    1. hollywooddood

      Willard would be more than happy to start a new war and send our daughters and sons (not his).

  25. imissopus

    If we don't want another Iraq or Afghanistan, Mittens should probably fire all those fuckers he has on staff who got us into those messes in the first place.

  26. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Now Mittens is anti-war and pro-Islam?

    …error…rebooting…

    "KILL ALL THE BROWNZ"

    there, better.

  27. SorosBot

    Mitt will "go after the bad guys". Glad to hear his foreign policy is based on 80s weekday afternoon cartoons.

    1. Jukesgrrl

      I believe it actually was worse than that. He said "kill the bad guys." Just in case the people in Arizona and Texas didn't get what he was saying. "Go after" is a little mamby-pamby for them.

    2. sullivanst

      I thought his foreign policy was "President Obama is wrong about everything, so I will do exactly what he has been doing."

  28. Tilley

    UN? UN?!! WTF Mittens?!

    oh all these wonderful things, gender equality blah blah — HOW YOU GONNA DO IT MITTSTER? You got nothin'.

  29. Monsieur_Grumpe

    Go after the bad guys.
    Take them out of the picture.
    Romeny's strategy is straight from a B movie.

  30. mille derps

    Mitt's strategy is to go after the bad guys. This will be easy since they're the ones helpfully wearing black hats.

  31. Callyson

    "gendered equality"

    Glad Mitt supports that in the Middle East. I just wish he supported that here in the US as well…

  32. C_R_Eature

    Economic Development. Rejection of Violence, Gender Equality. All the things that the Modern Republican Party rejects at home.

  33. Terry

    Mittens is calling for more foreign aid. How you gonna pay for that, Mitt? Have you asked your handlers what they think about that?

  34. Beowoof

    The 1980's want their foreign policy back, the 1950's their social policy, the 1920's their economic policy, best line so far.

  35. Tilley

    "You haven't had the opportunity to execute foreign policy…" OOOOO I love it when the Bamster sticks it in.

  36. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "You have not been in a position to execute foreign policy" Thank you for reminding everyone how inexperienced Mittens is Bamz!

  37. Wadisay

    Mittens: Very conflict adverse and stammery so far.
    Barry: Bringing it. "All over the map." No pun intended.

  38. PugglesRule

    "Of course I don't concur with the president about my record. That's inaccurate." No, you're just lying again, Mittz.

  39. FakaktaSouth

    Rattling Mitt by getting in his face worked so well the last time, I think I will do it again. Get him PresO! Wrong Mitt, you're wrong, every time your open that lie-hole, you're wrong.

  40. keepwalkin

    Please God just let it be over.

    Let it be OVER, MAN………………..PLEASE!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  41. Negropolis

    Attacking Romney is not a foreign policy, but attacking Obama is a complete foreign policy, right?

    1. MittBorg

      Please link to any sites that cite any complaints that President Obama has made about the GOP's nonstop attacks on him over the past four years, or Romney's attacks. AFAIK, Romney's the only one whining, although POTUS has far better cause for complaint, given that most of the attacks on him have been the result of the basest racism.

  42. C_R_Eature

    "The things that I've said, they don't happen to be accurate."

    That's the only thing Romney's said all season that I agree with.

  43. Callyson

    So Mitt Romney thinks talking about Romney's policy positions is the same thing as attacking him? ROTFLMAO!

  44. FakaktaSouth

    You can attack me if you would like Mr President. Oh he DOES LIKE MItt, and OH YEAH he WILL attack your ass. PresO wants me to be a happy girl, you are fucked.

  45. TribecaMike

    That's fine and dandy gentlemen, but why is the capital of New Zealand named for a type of boot?

    1. doloras

      If you'd ever been there during winter, or as we call it "The Season of Horizontal Rain", you'd know.

  46. chascates

    Actually, the PREVIOUS administration signed agreements with the Iraqi government which we were compelled to follow.

    1. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      those fucking guys. they'll all be back if miffed steals the election. four more wars!

  47. PugglesRule

    Mitt's mouth is all over the place. He's trying to talk all over Obama again. Romney's got a condescending smile now.

    1. Negropolis

      Obama has brought this up about a half a dozen times just this far, and I hope he ends with this.

  48. Callyson

    We can't continue to do nation building in these nations–we have to do nation building at home

    THAT line will go over well with the Americans–good one, Mr President.

  49. littlebigdaddy

    Zoomba: in case Tagg Romney is tased by the Secret Service, what is the rule in the official Wonkette drinking game?

  50. chascates

    Bob, does your brother Tom still pal around with George Bush or is he so rich after that Texas Ranger deal he doesn't even talk to you any more?

  51. Tilley

    Is it just me, or is Bammers making Mittens look like a bellicose dithering flithering fool? Or maybe Mittens is doing it to himself.

  52. Callyson

    "Ultimately, Syrians are going to have to determine their own future"

    Snark off–my grandfather was Syrian, and he would wholeheartedly agree with this. I am so glad he did not live to see W's rule…

    1. MittBorg

      Do you mind if I just hang my mouth open and say "How cool!"?

      As an Ethnic, I feel obliged to be interested in all other Ethnics. Even Semi-Ethnics. So, was he a Nestorian Christian? Or a Mar Thomite? And did he teach you anything about Syria?

      1. Callyson

        He was pretty agnostic, actually–I'm not sure what religion he was raised in. And he taught me a little about Syria, though he was mostly glad to be in the US. I still miss the Syrian picnics that I used to go to as a kid though–the food was great.

        1. MittBorg

          The food is fab. I don't have enough recipes, so feel free to enrich me. I just made friends with a sweet little Syrian girl who is threatening to dye her white kitten the colours of the flag (!). Don't know enough about the country, reading recommendations and personal viewpoints solicited like crazy. Thanks, sweetie.

          1. MittBorg

            Drat! If I find any, want me to pass them on to you? There's a chef in the closest town who's like, all cool and nouvelle and raved about, and I think he's Syrian, and I'm planning to go see what he can do, in the hopes of learning something.

  53. MissTaken

    “The Cold War called and it wants its foreign policy back”

    Yeah, well the jerk store called and they want their 0100011111. ERROR ERROR

  54. WordSaladNation

    I usually watch the livestream on my computer behind all these other windows, and so I just looked at the actual video and WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT TIE, MITTENS?

  55. snowpointsecret

    Honestly I have no idea what Mitt's actual policy is right now, he's talking in circles like a dog chasing its tail.

    1. mille derps

      Just ask Michele B- she can tell y'all all about them there sleeper cells right here in our State Dept…

  56. SayItWithWookies

    Mitt: "Syria is Iran's only ally in the area — it's their route to the sea…"

    wtf. Persian Gulf, dumbass. Of course, if the Iranian navy (i.e. twelve rubber boats) wants to operate in the Mediterranean they can use ports in — um — Lebanon, the country next to Syria. This is a Palinesque display of foreign policy expertise.

  57. FakaktaSouth

    Wait, what am I talking about? I have no idea. Poor Mitt. He is having trouble with all the names they told him to memorize.

  58. Callyson

    "We should be playing a leadership role"

    FFS, I am so tired of this line–it seems to be the default way to bash Obama when the righties have no facts…

  59. Powerpuff_Grl

    In going on about all the things he thinks we need to do in Syria, EVERYTHING Mitt says we should do is EXACTLY what Obama's administration is ACTUALLY DOING!!

    So, the only time Mitt embraces a clear policy is when it belongs to Obama?

  60. mavenmaven

    Is he finally going to say that we liberated Libya and Romney's people led us into destruction in Iraq?

  61. C_R_Eature

    Wait, Mitt: "Find organized parties" in country, arm them and send them as Insurgents against the occupying government? Great! That sounds exactly like what we did in Afghanistan in the 80's. That worked out really well.

    Tell us more about what John Bolton and Dan Senor think we should do about Syria.

  62. Callyson

    Gadaffi had more American blood on his hands than anyone other than OBL

    Good way to remind the Americans who got Osama, Mr President…nice!

  63. ibwilliamsi

    Why does Bishop Romney think that he can fact check President Obama? He said they weren't going to let fact checkers run their campaign!

  64. FakaktaSouth

    I love mad PresO, love his tone, love his, hey dude, this is serious and you are a dumbfuck here and I do not care for it, you or your suggestions. We were gonna FINISH, bitch.

  65. mavenmaven

    Oh, wow, Romney is so full of crap! We want to remove Assad, but without the military, and we want to lead, but have our allies be on the ground? What nonsense!

  66. chascates

    Oh, we've tried putting in a government 'friendly to us' in, hmmm, Iraq (after Mossadeq), Iraq (recently), and on and on.

      1. SorosBot

        No, neither one of them worked at all. Gah. I blame all of them having some extra auto-updating bullshit like fucking twitter comments. WTF newsmasters? Nobody gives a shit about anything on twitter.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      Oh my god I just snorted. and guffawed. and almost got out of a hate-mood. ALMOST, but the mitt-hate, it is so strong.

  67. lulzmonger

    Hoo boy … Willard has checkers, BHO has chess-pieces.

    "No place for our military in Syria" = Bloody Bill Krystal is quietly baaaawing in the back of the RomneyJet.

  68. ibwilliamsi

    Bishop Romney embracing "Leading from behind"… Is that what Gloria Allred's "October Surprise" is all about?

  69. Pat_Pending

    "Our objectives are… remove Assad but do it without troops. Let the partners do it, but we have to do something, it's very bad and we can give them arms and….."

    Word salad time again!

  70. Tilley

    "a council of some kind."
    "no troops, but arms."
    What the fuck is this fucker fucking trying to say?

    1. ibwilliamsi

      Dude's trying to fill his 2 minutes with "yada yada yada", but he's never "yada'd". It's against the Mormon roolz.

  71. Callyson

    "This has been going on for a year"

    Christ, imagine if Mittens had been around during the American civil war:

    "Come on, guys, it's been a year–they won. Let them secede. Tough luck for the slaves."

  72. Beowoof

    Hey dopey he just said we were leading the effort, Mitt is just spitting out drivel from his memory bank.
    He has no different ideas.

  73. Terry

    Mitt has fallen into the the trap of assuming that if he doesn't know about something that it must not be happening

    1. SorosBot

      Harry Truman, Dwight Eisenhower, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, and George H.W. Bush?

    2. Lascauxcaveman

      That buddy of Francisco Franco's, way back when. I forget his name I'm pretty sure they are both still dead.

    3. BaldarTFlagass

      Was it Fidel in Angola or Uncle Joe in Spain or LBJ in Vietnam or Harry Truman in Greece or Stalin/Mao in Korea or Nixon in the Yom Kippur War?

  74. Tilley

    Mittens is noticeably less eager to butt in and talk over the top of the President and the moderator. One of his handlers must have told him it makes him look like a jerkbag.

  75. WordSaladNation

    Thank GOD Sully is off the ledge: "Obama basically tells Romney that his "new policy" on Syria is actually already being executed by the Obama administration. In fact, almost everything Romney is currently advocating is Obama foreign policy. And dismissing military involvement in Syria is another denial of neoconservative doctrine. Romney is effectively endorsing Obama's foreign policy, except for demanding that we "lead" in some amorphous way."

  76. Beowoof

    This Obama guys knows something about the situation in Egypt. I could vote for him. The other guys is trying to get me to buy a used Altima.

  77. Callyson

    Mittens' eyes keep looking like they are watering up. I think he realizes that he's got a fighter for an opponent now…

      1. Callyson

        And Mittens fed into that by doing the same thing, thus giving Obama a chance to make up for Denver. Yes!

  78. Tilley

    Mittster is waffling and whining and wussing. "I felt the same as the president did …" In other words, Barry was RIGHT and you're a tool.

  79. Callyson

    Mittens wants to talk about how he wishes we had had a better vision of the future in Egypt? Where the fuck was he when we went into Iraq with no postwar planning?

  80. ibwilliamsi

    "We need to get them into a leadership role. They don't have a plan." Maybe Tagg and his buddies could knock on the doors in Syria and get them to convert to the Church of LDS…

  81. Zango Crudmonger

    I'm still trying to make sense of Mitt's "Syria is Iran's route to the sea." On my maps Iranians have quite a bit of shoreline w/o going through Syria.

  82. SayItWithWookies

    Damn — Mitt just pissed off his base by saying he agrees on getting rid of Mubarak — Assity and the right-wing radio jocks have been saying for years that that opened the door for the Muslim Brotherhood to take over the country and it's an essential post of their armageddon-speak.

  83. Wadisay

    I get the impression both of these guys want to be done talking about this shit going down in the Arab world.

  84. Monsieur_Grumpe

    I wish we had a better vision for the future.
    Gah!
    Bring back Nancy Reagan’s horoscopes.

  85. Tilley

    It's not economy night Robo-man, it's foreign policy night, so quit trying to hijack. Schieffer ain't gonna have it.

  86. MissTaken

    Mitt's eyes look watery. Can't be tears, must be a new lubricant program for his eyelid function.

  87. Beowoof

    Back to the economy, yeah Mitt showing his full lack of knowledge on foreign policy. We have allies, a stunning observation.

  88. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I wonder how the right-wingers are reacting to miffed saying things like "allies" and "peace"?

  89. Callyson

    Our debt is the strongest national security threat we face

    Yeah–going to fight two wars AND cutting taxes AND adding a bungled and wasteful prescription drug benefit will do that. And who was President then?

  90. FakaktaSouth

    BLAH BLAH When's Mitt gonna talk about all his foreign country experience through the Olympics? Seriously? He's drowning here.

  91. SayItWithWookies

    Mitt, a trillion dollar cut to our military over ten years would only cut out some of the fat that got injected into it since 9/11. We'd still be the largest, most expensive, most shitkicking military in the fuckin' world.

  92. lulzmonger

    Every time I hear that rhetorical pip "unthinkable," I say "think better next time, motherfucker."

    Every. Last. Time.

  93. Terry

    Mitt: we're blessed with terrific soldiers..

    Yeah, but the sailors, airmen, and Marines suck, eh, Mitt?

  94. Veritas78

    We're second to none, but… We have the most allies, but… We're the most powerful, but we have no influence?

    Okay, this is all a loser for the Mittster.

  95. No_Wire_Hangers

    Mittens is talking in generalities b/c foreign po' ain't his bag. That's also why he's being a kitten tonight. Nice try Mittens. Not gone work.

    1. bikerlaureate

      Why did his brain trust agree to the final debate being on foreign policy? Is it yet another internal sabotage maneuver?

  96. MilwaukeeKent

    It's weird really, the whole Arab Spring began when one Tunisian street-vendor, apparently upset about permit bureaucracy and maybe kickbacks to local honchos, set himself on fire. You'd think the American Right, with all their inane blather about free, unregulated markets, would pick that up and run with it. Nah Ah, You know, brown people and all that…all those little brown people are better off, for our interests, under the thumbs of strongmen and dictators. A-and, here's the pivot to the economy from Mr. Business.

  97. Pat_Pending

    Human rights, human dignity, free enterprise… It's a little like tuna surprise with chocolate syrup.

  98. Callyson

    Romney keeps trying to make this about the economy. He knows his attacks on Obama's foreign policy backfired…

  99. ibwilliamsi

    "Looking back on President Obama, and even back further than that…"

    The Trapper Keeper just blamed W!

  100. PugglesRule

    So now he's dragging the US economy into this?? WTF Mittens. But on foreign policy he's all platitudes.

  101. Negropolis

    Shorter Mitt: War is Peace.

    Honestly, that's his foreign policy. That's it. There is nothing else there.

  102. Terry

    Mitt, at the end of Bush's term, not even the Brits and Canadians were all that friendly with us. Things are better now.

  103. forgracie

    No jerbs is good news fer them military recruiters. Millard, you don't want yer purty boys getting' drafted or nothing do you?

  104. Negropolis

    At this point, he is literally stringing together a bunch of bullshit words and talking points. Thers is no there there with this Romney.

  105. prommie

    Nice kissing the ass of Israel Mitt! Fuck Mittt, fuck Mitt dumbass fuck I hate his fucking investment banker fraudster lying fraud ass.

  106. Wadisay

    God, it seems like Mittens has been yammering on for about 5 hours. America, do you really want to listen to this stammering fuck for 4 years?

    1. 415buzzard

      I kept waiting for a "moderator" to shut the fucker down but then I remembered it was Old Bob, who seemed to fall asleep when Mittens was speaking, for three hours at a time

  107. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    DEARGAWD When will Mittens wipe that smug fucking condescending smirk off his fucking face?

      1. miss_grundy

        A doofus on Facebook decided to go after me because I believe everyone should pay their taxes and I went after his boy for hiding his money in the Caymans and Switzerland. Then he whined about how much Michelle spends on clothing, when Annie spends more and looks bad.

  108. Pat_Pending

    In other news, St. Louis just loaded the bases with Sandoval coming up in the bottom of the third. 7-0, Giants. Which means I can go back to CSPAN without chewing my nails off.

  109. SayItWithWookies

    Hey Mr. President, Mitt's gonna bring manufacturing back to our shores, too — why, with the elimination of child labor laws, the Nike factory will be cost-effective here.

  110. Monsieur_Grumpe

    I don't think Mitt has said anything of substance yet. It's all Republican talking points and bumper sticker speak.

  111. miss_grundy

    And Bammerz is now repeating his domestic policy plank during the foreign policy question period…..

  112. Tilley

    See what the President is doing right here, Mitt? He's talking SPECIFICS. Bring manufacturing jobs back. Cut exports by 2020. Actual ideas, not bullshit blather.

  113. snowpointsecret

    Mitt Romney looks like he's seriously about to cry over here. It's like a deer in headlights that actually understands its situation.

  114. Barbara_

    Awesome tweet:
    Bill Maher ‏@billmaher
    Mitt's entire debate strategy: What he just said, but from a white guy

  115. C_R_Eature

    Not rewarding companies that are shipping jobs overseas *cough* Sensata *cough* BAIN *cough* *cough*

  116. Callyson

    Praised George W Bush as a good economic steward? Even *I* forgot that one–good reminder, Mr President!

  117. PugglesRule

    "Taking us back to those strategies that got us into this mess…" Barry's right. Why is Romney talking about the economy? Hey, Schieffer, want to moderate and tell him to stay on topic???

  118. FakaktaSouth

    OOOH Bringing up the great Satan Cheney and how much Mitt likes him, Oh Barry, you didn't. Fuck yeah, Mitt wouldn't even be as GOOD as Cheney, he would TOTALLY miss that guy's face and like, shoot him in the balls on accident. Good God.

  119. Veritas78

    I gotta policy for the future heh heh right here in my pants. Let's go take advantage of Latin America. They'll love that!

  120. fuflans

    so the tact here is to always sheer back to the economy i guess?

    i want to know who mitt will bomb and this is what i was promised.

    fucking debates.

  121. Negropolis

    I love how Romney keeps bringing up Obama's employment promise without qualifying it with the reality that the Republican Congress did EVERYTHING in its power to thwart Obama putting people back to work. It was nothing short of sheer economic sabotage.

  122. No_Wire_Hangers

    Particularly in latin america. I love latin america. I love latin americans. in fact i was born in mexico.

  123. Mumbletypeg

    and Kirsten Boyd Johnston just laughed SO HARD. Have I already gotten her drunk??? (OK, so that’s our Special Guest, who IS yelling at furniture already!)

    Oh thanks for briefing us, Dok. HI KIRSTEN

  124. Mittaplasia

    But…but…Mitt said in the last debate that goverment didn't create jobs, but if he is president he will create 12 million jobs. WTF, Mittnocchio???

  125. MilwaukeeKent

    Twits really think the US shoulda jumped in loud, with both feet, behind the Iranian uprising. That would have shut it down immediately. Mitt, one word (cough) Mossadegh (cough).

  126. TribecaMike

    Renewable Latin Americans is a huge opportunity for us.

    Did Mitt just blurt out "Time zones" for no reason?

  127. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "I will get us on track. I will do this I will do that. etc" How Mittens? How? oh you have no answers.

  128. SorosBot

    Mitt again says he knows how to created 12 million new jobs. WELL THEN WHAT IS IT, MITT? HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW TO CREATE NEW JOBS? We can't just trust you; how the hell would you know it when you have absolutely no experience relevant to creating jobs, only in destroying them?

    1. MissTaken

      But but but government doesn't create jobs, and he wants to be head of the government, I'z confussed.

      1. SorosBot

        It's almost as if he doesn't really have a plan but is just attacking and making vague promises he can't fulfill.

  129. Callyson

    the road to Greece…and that's where we're headed right now

    Oh FFS, this is such hyperbole I can't even stand it. Every responsible economist will tell you that we are far from becoming Greece…

  130. Beowoof

    Come on Barry smack him down, oh yeah small business development in MA 48th and Mitt and Barry are small businesses in Mitt's definition. Going for the jugular.

    1. Negropolis

      I love that he knows that it's 47th, but wants to try and bait Mitt into saying such a horrendous number. lol

  131. SorosBot

    And then he says he'll stop government spending. But I thought he wanted to create jobs? Cutting spending destroys jobs, the exact opposite, moron. PS so dopes destroying unions.

  132. PugglesRule

    Oooh Massachusetts 48th of 50 in small business growth. Mitt was so good at that there. And Barry's bringing up class size as a way to be more competitive.

  133. Callyson

    (big gulp by Romney)

    Was Mittens seriously expecting that he would whip Obama's ass? He looks freaked out that he is having no such luck…

  134. prommie

    I'm magic, I am the magic Romney magic man, I willl just do these things, I will wave my magic hands and make jobs, I don't need specific policy proposals, I am magic, I have magic Mormon magic powers, no policies needed, I am just gonna tell you I am gonna make jobs balance the budget, cure cancer, I am gonna make the sun shine every day and make the lion lie down with the lamb I am magic Mitt Romney!

  135. Callyson

    Oh God, he is going to take credit for the hard work that *other people* in Mass did for that state's education. Asshole.

  136. C_R_Eature

    We need Small Businesses! With tiny little people, like those wonderful Chinese who live packed in Dorms, work 12 hour days and get paid $5 a day!

    Also, our air and water is too clean.