Libya: Which One Was That Again?

U.S Americans, Like Such As In The Iraq: Your Foreign Policy Debate Liveblog

International Friendship Is Magic!Greetings, Wonkers, and welcome back to Wonkette’s State of the Art LiveBlogoPlex for the final Debate-O-Palooza of the 2012 Presidential campaign! Your Editrix and most of the Wonkette staff are standing by via the Top Sekrit Wonkette ChatCave for what promises to be a thoughtful and nuanced discussion of the many subtleties of international relations! Or maybe a lot of accusations and lying, it could go either way.

So many questions! Has Obama agreed to talk to Iran if he’s re-elected? Will Romney talk to Iran if he wins? Are either of these guys still on speaking terms with each other? Will moderator Bob Schieffer be able to rein in either candidate, or will Mitt cold-cock him with a solid bar of gold? Which Barack Obama will show up tonight: the sleepy dude from the first debate, the feisty smart guy from the second debate, or a third, as-yet unknown Obama, some hybrid narcoleptic street fighter who throws a verbal jab and then morphs into a giant robot…which then falls asleep? And what are the implications for our relations with Brazil?

While we wait for the debate, let’s review some fundamentals of foreign policy, with the man who taught us everything we know about the topic:

8:55 We have been preparing for the liveblog tonight by spending the last week and a half doing online scoring for the essay portion of the SAT’s. The group that we have been reading is responding to this prompt:

Should we care just as much about people in other countries as we do about people in our own country? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

The reason we mention this is as a reminder of just how much average Americans understand about foreign policy (or anything else). In the past 10 days, we have learned the following (mostly verbatim, with some reconstructions):

  • As Martin Luther King said, all people are created equal.
  • During world War II, America declared war with Vietnam…
  • Why did America interfere and drop the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki? We had many alliances, and even though the Jews in America were not in any danger, we had to act to save the lives of the Jews in World War II.
  • As members of the human race, we must shed our skin and unite for all mankind.

And from a kid who went on to write a heck of a good essay,

  • “It has been said that ignorance is bliss, which is often true — who really wants to know the components of SPAM?”

We also have read essay after essay in which the students assert that the US entered WW II mostly for the purpose of stopping the Holocaust, which is a nice sentiment, but a little disconnected from real history. We also do not score down for factual errors, since we’re supposed to just focus on organization and the existence, reality-based or not, of evidence. (Which one kid clearly knew about, since he wrote: “When Thomas Jefferson gave aid to all those in South Africa after the sea otter invasion, it was a gesture of good faith.”)

What any of this has to do with the foreign policy debate tonight, we leave up to you, gentle readers.

9:00 “The audience has taken a vow of silence.” But not celibacy, one hopes.

9:03 We are debating during the 50th anniversary of the Cuban Missile Crisis. This is very important, because we are painfully aware that neither of these men is a Jack Kennedy.

9:05 First question is about Libya — talk about unexpected! Mitt knows the names of other African / Middle Eastern countries! Flawless victory! But he says we can’t kill our way out of this mess? He just lost the Republican Base.

9:10 Barry is going to put Benghazi in context. Yes we got attacked, but Libyans don’t need to be carpet-bombed, either, because they like us. Mitt has a laundry list of things that might help, but also, Al-Qaeda!!!! Second mention of Mali in 10 minutes!

9:12 “The Cold War called and it wants its foreign policy back” — nice line, flat, rushed delivery. Barry! Don’t step on your zinger like that!

9:13 Rebecca adds: that zinger was SO LAME, and Kirsten Boyd Johnson just laughed SO HARD. Have I already gotten her drunk??? (OK, so that’s our Special Guest, who IS yelling at furniture already!)

9:15 They are arguing about Mitt’s posture. He seems to be sitting up straight, though.

9:17 Rebecca notes: 100 percent approval CNN for “nation building at home.” But STOP SPENDING MONEY ON THINGS AT HOME!!!!

9:18 There is literally NOTHING funny about Syria, and probably little U.S. America can do about it… Mitt will plunge into suggesting we could fuck Iran over real good if we get the right government in there…and we won’t get directly involved. YAY FOR CLARITY!

9:20 Since Syria is too depressing, we will pass on Rich Abdill’s pre-debate fashion note: “The president’s suit jacket doesn’t have a vent but Romney’s does — mayhaps because only one will be talking from his rear?”

9:22 Every time Mitt says “Assad,” we hear “dressage.” Is that just us?

9:24 Women finally get mentioned in the debate! They’re Egyptian, though. Is Obama going to give them slut pills?

9:28 Mitt is unhappy that Obama didn’t prevent the Arab Spring…by, uh, shuffling “our friend” aside more quicker? Huh? WE NEED TO GIT OUT OF DEBT AND SPEND MUCH MORE ON OUR MILITARY!

9:30 What is America’s role in the world? Man, if only the students taking the SATs could brief the candidates….

9:32 It is now “strong America” time. Barry points out that we have allies in addition to Israel, a contention that may throw the fact-checkers into a tizzy.

9:33 Rich Abdill: “How does it look over on CNN? Have all the people with the dials gone to bed?”

Jesse Taylor: the people with dials are all gay married to barry
Rebecca S. SUPER gay married to Barry
Rich A. I did not know sharia allowed that?
Rebecca S. Before he even says “the” the dials skyrocket
jesse t. like, aired on Bravo gay married

9:36 Blair Burke, our special FLOTUS Correspondent, has joined the Sekrit ChatCave: “I just turned this on…I’m glad there is still time to give the finger to the teachers’ unions though”

9:38 Bob Shieffer thinks he is a moderator or something, and mentions “foreign policy.” Mittens says he must speak. Barry must speak, too! It is a big pile of talking over each other!! What about the Navy and how will you pay for it?

9:40 Cutting Obamacare, which the CBO has projected will reduce the deficit, will save money, because MAGIC.

9:43 Here is Mitt’s face, so very happy after he said “You got that fact wrong Mr. President” Sez Your Editrix: CAR SALESMAN FACE


9:44 Barry has thrown the Civil War Re-enactor vote out the window with his slander of horses and bayonets.

9:46 Is Israel part of America now? Fox News has a map ready to go that says it IS.

9:49 Mitt is in favor of crippling sanctions like the ones Barry has put in place. If elected, he will have the Doctor take him back to the Bush administration to put them in place sooner, and more crippling-er.

9:52 Barry’s “you’d do what we did, but you’d have said it louder” isn’t bad, but only partly zingy. It’s no definition of what a submarine is.

9:54 Apology Tour! DRINK!

9:55 Rebecca sez, “Can we get a Hillz shout-out? We’re like an hour in to a foreign policy debate, and she’s the most popular member of THE HUMAN RACE.”

We just want to say, no, sorry, still Michael Jackson.

9:56 Oh, c’mon, Barry. Not just, “Nothing he’s said is true,” but “Everything he’s said is a LIE”

9:58 Comparative Foreign Trips During the Campaign BEATDOWN

10:00 Did YOU go to Yad Vashem, Mr. Romney? It commemorates the victims of the Holocaust (Which the US joined WW II to stop, according to 11th and 12th graders)

10:01 Rebecca sez: “Point of personal privilege: during the GOP primary debates, all of them were like “I would be sabotaging Iran in secret,” like Obama WASN’T. Like we weren’t killing all those Iranian scientists.”

Once again, we must reply, nope, that was still Michael Jackson.

10:02 Mittens, again with the “tumult.” Why does it sound like Yiddish when he says “tumult”?

10:04 Did you see Romney’s eyebrows just before the Afghanistan question? They were like 3/4 of the way up his forehead. What was that?

10:07 “Time to do some nation-building at home” — Barry, you stole that from one of the SAT kids, I’m pretty sure.

10:10 We will not divorce Pakistan. Don’t you wish Newt had won the nomination? Then we could talk about having an open relationship with other countries.

10:12 We need to stop just killing people and move the world away from Islamic extremism. We should yell about Ground Zero Mosques and maybe burn some Korans, and then NOT APOLOGIZE.

10:14: Special Guest Furniture-Shouter Kirsten Boyd Johnston: Mitt is actually coming off as Sarah Palin, rattling off everything he’s learned in the last 48 hours from Wikipedia. “The Haqqani network” and “they’re PASHTUNS!”

(The Rule of 3 requires this: No, it’s Michael Jackson)

10:17 Jesse Taylor: WHY IS NOBODY ADDRESSING MALI ??

10:19 Mitt thinks that we can be partners with the Chinese, who last week were despicable currency manipulators (Day One!). But we must be strong, so they respect us! “Your chinaman is like a high-spirited terrier in this, you must show him who’s the alpha dog” …. is what Mitt is saying (but not saying.)

10:21 You know all about shipping jobs overseas, don’t you Governor? BOOM!

10:23 Rebecca: “KBJ is VERY UPSET that Romney keeps talking about the sequestration as “Obama’s budget.” We have gotten her REALLY DRUNK. Any minute she is going to agree to model the NEW WONKETTE T-SHIRTS for pictures and such.”

10:25 Again with the idea that GM could have found private funding for the bailout. Michigan and Ohio are listening. Also, investing in research is good. Investing in three companies I just named is bad.

10:26 (Dammit, KB Johnson, not Johnston. SORRY! Come back and write for us and we will spell your name right at least 47% of the time)

10:28 Mitt is pretending that he can feel empathy. And that Egg weeps. Brent Spiner pulled this off a lot more convincingly.

10:29 Rich Abdill: “I don’t care what Romney’s positions are — when he smiles I want to throw a rock at the TV”

10:30 Closing statements! They are… well, truncated stump speeches, really. Barry is doing the sincere and emphatic thing where he points at the viewer to show he means it, dammit. Mittens is karate-chopping the air for emphasis and telling us how he will get along with everyone. It is not a Huge Fail but not a huge win, either…and something something torch singer.

10:34 Barry wins the all-important handshake-with-the-moderator race! Jesse T adds, “CNN’s panel HATED romney tonight
…feels like when i talked to my dad that one time”

10:36 Rebecca S: Like that Kiefer Sutherland movie FLATLINER, that is CNN’s viewers on Romney
Rich A: But in the end Sutherland came back
Rich A: …right?

(Ever heard of a “spoiler alert,” Rich?) Also, no, that was Michael Jackson.

10:38 Rebecca: “HAHAHAHA KBJ: Who’s this person who sounds like a football announcer? (IT IS CHRIS MATTHEWS! GUESS WHO DOES NOT HAVE TV!!!!)”

10:40 We have PBS muted, so whatever bland thing David Brooks is mouthing right now is going missing. So far, no callers to CSPAN have punk’d the call-in hosts. Rebecca notes: “Gergen thinks Romney passed the “commander in chief” test despite having his second loss in a row. Gergen thinks his LACK OF WARMONGERING helped him. Would probably help him more if he wasn’t a warmonger”

The consensus is that Obama “won,” but that “Romney held serve by just saying everything Obama said, with caveats” (Jesse), which we think is a tennis thing. MSNBC is rerunning the “apology tour” and “Whopper” reply…and Andrea Mitchell’s fact-check just broke up in the lag on the webstream. We really should get cable some day.

There is still a day left in the SAT scoring project, so we had best get back to it. Goodnight, and remember to buy Old Handsome Joe Biden a Trans Am. kkkkkkk!

About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom
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  • GuanoFaucet

    To prepare for the debate, Romney requested binders full of bullshit.

    • miss_grundy

      I thought he was full of bullshit already. Isn't it enough that he has binders full of women???

  • Wadisay

    Anything on TV tonight?

    • mille derps

      Giants-2, Cardinals-0…

    • Callyson

      MNF and the last game of the NLCS. But this is the *real* death match…

    • Terry

      Hoarders

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Gah! Only thing more depressing than a presidential debate.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Dust.

    • VodkaGoGo

      The Lions are losing in Chicago because of Chicago style failed liberal policies defense, if that's your thing.

    • nounverb911

      Top Gears Epic Failures Part 12.

    • http://citizenfuturist.wordpress.com/ RufusTFirefly

      Bears-Lions.

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    Mittz' foreign policy solutions – blustering, berating and/or bombing, in no certain order.

    • mille derps

      Don't forget your bombastic blathering…

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Really what his foreign policy prescription seemed to be was if he stamps his feet hard enough every one will listen. What I found really galling is that while discussing Iran who since we're no longer occupying Iraq has become irrelevent again no one discussed the MOST volatile relationship in the world: India and Pakistan. You want a weapons buildup? check. Nuclear missles? check. Deep, long standing bloody hatred? check. Hatred that is so deep they will go to war over a region Led Zeppelin sang about? check. If there is going to be an event where someone nukes someone else in the ME it won't be Israel-Iran it will be India-Pakistan. Rombot is also a moron…the ISI is WHO is supporting the terrorists what kill us, Rombot.

      • sewollef

        Hmm Mr/Ms Willardbot9000…. I think you just got notice of an update — to v3.0. And well deserved it is too.

        Should make you run faster and download smoother.

        • James Michael Curley

          I certainly hope those downloads are done in the privacy of their own bathroom.

      • sullivanst

        Yeah, Mitt blathered on about how he'd learned about the Haqqani network on Wikipedia over the weekend, I don't remember him mentioning Lashkar, though. Y'know, the guys who murdered 164 people in Mumbai in 2008.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          He doesn't know SQUAT about the situation in that very volatile region.

          • sullivanst

            What was it Rachel said last night about Mitt's "fundamental lack of seriousness" on foreign policy being "disqualifying"? Whatever it was, I agree.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            When he starts talking about what the Pashtuns are up to in Pakistan, without even mentioning the Lashkar e Taiba and the horrible things happening in the border regions that we absofuckinglutely do NOT want to be involved in under any circumstances lest we risk another Kampuchea if not world nuclear war …

            I gotta stop listening to that asshole. He's doing horrible things to my blood pressure, the ignorant bint.

          • sullivanst

            It's OK, if you don't like what Mitt's saying now, wait for the next sentence and see if his revised position is more to your liking.On second thoughts, no, you're right, not listening to him is much the better course.Also too, I seem to recall being somewhat offended at the moment he said it by the implication that being Pashtun meant you were necessarily part of the Taliban. I believe there's a word for that kind of generalization… what is it.. I know I know it… oh yes, that's it: Racist.But then there was so much other “stuff” the memory of it got buried.And yeah, I'd rather not have our troops be dicking around on the world's highest, coldest and most expensive battlefield.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            C'mere. I will hug you as I hug the CRE_ature, and we will put these things behind us.

          • sullivanst

            I feel better already.

            ETA: even though email->ID ate my perfectly good link.

  • ProgressiveInga

    "U.S AMERICANS, LIKE SUCH AS IN THE IRAQ…"
    I thought suchas is one word…Huh.

  • http://gorejusgeorge.tumblr.com CheeseBro69

    I would deep throat a cactus if it meant Glenn Greenwald moderating this debate

    • Callyson

      I would fucking deep throat Mittens if it meant Rachel Maddow would moderate…

      • Close_Read

        What you both said. And Amy Goodman.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      You guys can both deep throat a Rombot with its cactus app. engaged just to have Tweety moderate. Here's why: because he'd yell at everyone, I mean EVERYONE. Bamz got some good slams in there but could you imagine Tweety bird calling Romney a cynical, value free chameleon? Then yelling at Tagg…egg, everyone. Yes he's pompous and irritating but really what this debate needs is a moderate who'll tell Miffed, "you're not speaking now, I am!" with his voice raised. Just my opinion…especially if he's drunk first.

  • Tilley

    Hi fellow wonketeers! I almost cannot stand my excitement.

  • Callyson

    So glad I have this on C-Span instead of MSNBC–I don't think I can handle Tweety tonight.

  • RomneysLogCabin

    Cocked, locked, and gaffe-giddy.

  • snowpointsecret

    Unless they say all answers while inhaling helium from balloons this is probably going to be lackluster.

  • Tilley

    It's PBS for me. They've got me through so far. The spouse insists on CNN until it actually starts.

  • Callyson

    And the death match is on!

  • bikerlaureate

    "Foreign" means anything outside of the red states, right?

    • Terry

      Foreign also automatically means bad.

      • bikerlaureate

        Just like "affairs". Lousy adulterers.

        • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

          Foreign affair, like Mark Sanford?

  • mille derps

    How long before Obama reminds us of how beloved Mitt is in Merrie Olde Englande?

    • Tilley

      Well, that is the extent of Mittens' foreign policy experience.

      • Willardbot9000_V2.5

        Don't forget Newt qualified Miffed's foreign policy experience because of his foreign bank accounts and use of exotic international loopholes to dodge taxes on his billions. That was still one of the funniest 'qualified' arguments I've ever read/heard…

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Romney: Bibi who?

  • C_R_Eature

    FUCK YOU, SCHIEFFER!

    Sorry. Just practicing.

    • dawgeral

      I liked it! Leave it in!

  • VinnyThePooh

    Fern policy?

    • mille derps

      Friends, fiends & fronds.

    • Terry

      With possible questions about begonias

    • Negropolis

      All the best old, white newsmen are from Texas.

      • James Michael Curley

        Who got their journalism degrees from a Kinkos in Austin.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Those ferns are just the right height my friends.

  • proudgrampa

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Callyson

    And no, right wing paranoiacs, I have not shared the questions with anyone. Schieffer must read Wonkette!

  • Wadisay

    From Boca Raton, the Mouth of the Rat. Sounds like favorable turf for Mittens.

    • bikerlaureate

      Like so many things pertaining in any way to the GOP, it sounds much better in the original German.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    No applause, but you are permitted to utter sighs of disdain.

    • dawgeral

      SBDs?

  • C_R_Eature

    That's some Silent Audience there.

  • TribecaMike

    No, Randy, we won't save Australia. We do so wanna hurt some kangaroo.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Bob Schieffer calls for no applause or cheering. That's not fair, since Mitt's more used to that reaction.

  • Negropolis

    I'm having a bad day; hopefully, this doesn't make it worse.

    Doc, be careful with any embedded tweets. If they are legitimate, they have a way of shutting this whole thing down.

  • SnarkOff

    Drink! Oh, wait, too soon.

  • PugglesRule

    Mittens and Barry Bamz shook hands! Did I hear some booishness from the audience?

  • VinnyThePooh

    Rule number 1: No footsies.

    • dawgeral

      Sorry.

  • sbj1964

    Now come out fighting!

  • tracyhasfun

    Farkle, these things make me crave Xanax.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    The Soviets "Installed" nukes in Cuba Bob? Did they match the wallpaper?

  • noodlesalad

    Cuban missile crisis opening! Romney excited to talk about the dire threat of the Soviet Union right off the bat.

  • VodkaGoGo

    I for one love the ponies Doc. Like really, really love the ponies. I owe some certain people some money, is what I'm saying.

  • proudgrampa

    I love Bob Schieffer.

  • el_donaldo

    liveblogoplex?

    Is that a syphilis or herpes variety, or is it more like the Legoplex your kids can play in while you check yourself into the Abortionplex?

  • VinnyThePooh

    "Get it on!"
    – Captain Tenile

  • Negropolis

    Barry is looking very attentive and earnest.

    • mille derps

      Both hawt and kewl simultaneously…

  • C_R_Eature

    The Cuban Missile Crisis? Good thing Dana Perino isn't asking the questions.

  • chascates

    Actually, shit just happens. Any time we have a crisis like this in a foreign country it took a while to figure out the details. Bub.

    • TribecaMike

      A bub, a tub, a canal.

  • Tilley

    I hate Mittens. Just already, again.

    • bikerlaureate

      That's your brain, looking out for you.

      Good brain.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    CBS: I'm going to get rid of that too!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Oh let's start off with this Benghazi nonsense again. Can we just trivially criticize people for everything they do now, while shit is happening? Oh right — they've been doing that all along. Proceed, Mitt.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Times up, Willard.

    • ibwilliamsi

      We should ask that they just say that every two minutes.

    • mille derps

      Yeah, like 4 years ago.

  • snowpointsecret

    Hey sure let's start with continuing the biggest thing that had impact last debate.

    Also who's flipping these coins? Did he by chance call a Steelers game a few years ago?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    wtf? republicans rig the coin toss even?

  • BlueStateLibel

    First question: How do we stop these Brazilians from invading our blogs?!

    • MissTaken

      follow me :P!! kkkkkkkk

      • SorosBot

        I'm still confused about that.

        • UW8316154

          "kkkkkkkkkk" is the version of "LOL LOL"

    • BTWBFDIMHO

      How many is a Brazillian?

      • jqheywood

        AOTK!

    • Negropolis

      We must disrupt their Latin rhythms with some type of improvised anti-Samba device.

      • HistoriCat

        Use IADs?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    this is weird somber mitt.

    • sudsmckenzie

      Thats what happens when your locked in a room with Dan Senor for days on end.

  • Powerpuff_Grl

    Stop blinking so much, Barack!!!

    • ibwilliamsi

      It's the only way he can stop himself from smacking Mittens upside the head and screaming, "It's ON!"

  • SorosBot

    Will they give me a good reason not to be in Skyrim and dealing with the foreign oppressors of the Aldmeri Dominion tonight?

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Or…slaughtering corporate drones from Hyperion while taking down Mitt Romney's video game equivolent "Handsome" Jack (he even looks like Romney) in Borderlands 2?

      • Native_of_SL_UT

        Minion!

    • Doktor Zoom

      Well, did they?

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Who would have known these Arabs would elect a bunch of Arabs????

    • TribecaMike

      Satan.

    • Sue4466

      Terribly unAmerican of them.

  • C_R_Eature

    FUCK YOU, ROMNEY!

    Nope, don't need any more practice.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      i stand in awe.

    • dawgeral

      No you don't! Knocked over my lamp and scared the cat!

  • chascates

    Yes, murder is always a bad thing.

    • ibwilliamsi

      It depends.

  • Callyson

    WTF is that thing on the bottom right of Mittens' flag pin?

    • Terry

      A ribbon, looks like. Pink to curry women's votes?

      • ibwilliamsi

        Oh, I'd have to slap him for that shit. Just TRY to stop me, Tagg.

    • dawgeral

      His heart.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Mitt, I'll take Obama's record of governments overturned vs. lives lost over Dubya's any day. And that's relevant because you'd bring all his advisers back if you won.

  • Negropolis

    Mali. Drink.

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      I think Mitt just learned that Timbuktu wasn't made up

    • Gleem McShineys

      Translation: My handlers found something that I haven't already held multiple positions on!

  • TribecaMike

    Prediction: there will be zero questions regarding Luxembourg and/or Lictenstein.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      America demands answers! What will you do with the Duchy?

      • Crank_Tango

        Pass it, natch!

        • TribecaMike

          On the left hand side, mon!

        • Redgyal

          I heard it on the radio…

        • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

          I knew I'd set someone up with that.

    • MissTaken

      Royal wedding in Luxembourg this weekend and I'm sure at least 5 Romneys were present.

      • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

        Yes, but the Prince I have picked out for my daughter is still single.

        It will be an epic love story. From the Schmelz (steel mill where her great grandfather worked) to the Palace! Sophie/Sebastien 2020!

  • VinnyThePooh

    You talk too much
    Oh Mitt you neva shut up
    You talk too much
    SHUT! UP!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      "Fuck you!"
      "No, fuck you!"

  • ElPinche

    "Bob, show that corporate cocksucker the transcript! I'm sick of this honkey." -Obama 10/22/12

    • ibwilliamsi

      QOTN!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    I would like to thank the Prophet Mohammed, blessings and peace be upon him.

    • SnarkOff

      …and may this be the Mother of All Debates.

  • Tilley

    Yeah, get the wimmin in there Rominator. Nevermind it has nothing to do with the attack in Libya.

    His heart and mind goes to them? Is that where his mind done gone.

    • bikerlaureate

      He's just so, soooooo sincere.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    NOT MALI!!!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Molly Ringwald?

    • Negropolis

      Truly, Mali is the Poland of West Africa. Don't forget Mali.

      • ibwilliamsi

        Mali's fucked up, man. I hear that they have a nice river, though. Tailgate!

  • mille derps

    Mitt's hoping to be funny but not on purpose. He may succeed in this endeavor.

  • PugglesRule

    Mittens' first answer seems very wordy. Don't they get only 2 minutes per answer?

  • GuanoFaucet

    Shorter Mitt: I plan to talk over the moderator, and more generally be a condescending asshole.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    What about the MILFS!!! Will Romney do something about the MILFS????

    • ibwilliamsi

      He'd better not even try…

    • C_R_Eature

      They have their own Island. What more do they want?

  • miss_grundy

    Why does Rmoney always go first in these debates??? I put the tv on mute because I can't stand the sound of his voice..

    • kittensdontlie

      If I hear his voice, I want to reach into the teevee and strangle him with my vote.

  • JackObin

    I didn't realize mormons loved money and lying so much.

    • Terry

      Google "lying for The Lord"

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Mali? How does Mitt know the names of the help?

  • Negropolis

    We can't kill our way out of this mess? Then why are you proposing new wars?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    "We can't kill our way out of this mess." LIBERAL PUSSY!

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    Mittler says "Hope… Change". DRINK!

  • snowpointsecret

    Whoa he admitted that Obama had something to do with killing Bin Laden. Is that allowed?

  • GuanoFaucet

    Mitt's comprehensive strategy includes bombs and more bombs.

    • miss_grundy

      He's pushing that new movie, Zero Dark Thirty.

  • C_R_Eature

    The greatest threat of all, in fact, Mr Romney are the Neocon Bushies you're gathered around you as Foreign Policy Advisers.

    You Fuck.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    We're not going to kill our way out of this mess, but we can have a lot of fun trying!

    • bikerlaureate

      No reason the D-FENS contractors have to be deprived…

  • MissTaken

    Word of advice: DO NOT watch debate airing and coverage on Wall Street Journal Live (its the only HD quality I can watch on Steve Jobs TV). Ugh, gross. And Mitt in HD looks like a lobster.

  • ProgressiveInga

    Mitt Ramblin'.

    WTF is he saying?

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    We can't kill our way out of this mess? Romney sounds even more disconnected than usual.

  • el_donaldo

    Bammers kills too much!

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      Is killing the same as apologizing?

  • Callyson

    Four years closer to a nuclear weapon–oh BS. There is *no* evidence that the Iranians have made that kind of progress. Four years =/= four years of *progress*. Not surprised Romney does not know the difference…

    • snowpointsecret

      If Iran ever gets a nuclear weapon, isn't it by default 4 years closer just by laws of the passage of time anyway? The whole argument still means nothing.

      • Native_of_SL_UT

        During Obama's term, I have gotten 4 years closer to my untimely death at 92 at the hands of jealous husband. Vote for Mitt!

    • sullivanst

      And you run you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
      Chasing around to come up behind you again
      The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older
      Shorter of breath, one day closer to death

      Mitt the fatalist?

      • Doktor Zoom

        Dork Side of the Moon

  • FakaktaSouth

    Haha Mitt's trying to cut PresO off at the pass, congrats on Osama, please let's not talk about that anymore.

  • TribecaMike

    So far it's a tie in the number of opening statements.

  • Terry

    Mitt is trying to seem like he embraces diplomacy, but his wingnut base won't like that

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Mitt: We must have a comprehensive strategy. Well — that's some detailed shit right there, from the guy who claims the president has no agenda for the next four years.

  • sbj1964

    Bin laden is at the bottom of the ocean bitches!

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Comment must be approved by the moderator? The fuck? Becca!!!!

    • UW8316154

      You didn't use the word "shoe", did you?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    is this going to be the measured adult boring debate?

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Is Mitt making oral sex motions towards "O"????

  • C_R_Eature

    Laugh while you can, Pony Boy!

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    So, how does everyone on earth not think "Four years closer to a nuclear weapon" isn't the most idiotic formulation ever devised?

    I've been stuck in a crappy administrative job for the past four years, that sure as fuck doesn't make me "four years closer" to being a sexy millionaire who bangs supermodels on alternating weekends.

  • PugglesRule

    "At the cost of less than what we spent in 2 weeks in Iraq" — good fact, O, I hope this means something to voters.

  • Beowoof

    Step back and think about things, fuck that start shooting and ask questions later.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Maybe Mitt is thinking about the MILFS?

  • VinnyThePooh

    "Governor Romney has no fuckin' clue."

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Obama hails Libya as a foreign policy achievement — well it can't be true since all the Romney ads say Obama can't run on his record.

  • TribecaMike

    Jack Kennedy got 5 trillion as much pussy as Mitt ever has. Nyah nyah Mormon boy!

  • Callyson

    Oh yeah–Obama pointed out that Mittens' strategy has been all over the map. Just like all of his other policy positions…

    • Terry

      Mittens strategy is to say anything it takes to get elected

  • snowpointsecret

    "Go after the bad guys"

    Come on, this isn't an episode of Power Rangers.

    • SorosBot

      Mitt wishes he could make his monster grow.

  • miss_grundy

    That's right, Bammerz, you school that white boy on foreign policy!

  • FakaktaSouth

    YOU LIE MITT – You did NOT want to go after the bad guys, you DID NOT. Lie, lie, lie.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Mitt: "My strategy is broader than that." I'll do more — and I'll tell you exactly what it is after the election.

    • bikerlaureate

      Well, he's been honest to a fault so far.

      . . .

      We're all too wrapped up in instant gratification anyway.

  • GuanoFaucet

    Obama should have said: Mitt's foreign policy strategy is all over the map, just like his bank accounts.

    • Doktor Zoom

      I hit the "back" button on my browser to come back and up-fist this!

  • Barbara_

    Mitt: "We can't kill our way out of this."
    "My strategy is to kill them."

    • hollywooddood

      Willard would be more than happy to start a new war and send our daughters and sons (not his).

  • Beowoof

    Calling him on his strategy, nice, we don't any more Iraqs or Afghnanistans, no he wants Iran.

  • FraAnima

    KILL! KILL! KILL!

    Muslin = bad!

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Arab Scholars?????????? WTF???? DRONES!!!!!!!!!

  • RomneysLogCabin

    Where is Mitt's Stetson?

  • Terry

    Barry called out Mittens as a flip flopper 2 minutes into the debate. Bravo!

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    If we don't want another Iraq or Afghanistan, Mittens should probably fire all those fuckers he has on staff who got us into those messes in the first place.

  • sbj1964

    Rmoney my plan is sending Arabs to school?

  • PugglesRule

    Oh Mittens, you don't give a flying frak about gender equality. Good grief. Stop the lies!!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Now Mittens is anti-war and pro-Islam?

    …error…rebooting…

    "KILL ALL THE BROWNZ"

    there, better.

  • snowpointsecret

    lol a Republican talking about gender equality.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    romney is calling for state building.

    good to know.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    How about gender equality: drones that attack women?

  • SorosBot

    Mitt will "go after the bad guys". Glad to hear his foreign policy is based on 80s weekday afternoon cartoons.

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      I believe that going after the good guys is a mistake.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I believe it actually was worse than that. He said "kill the bad guys." Just in case the people in Arizona and Texas didn't get what he was saying. "Go after" is a little mamby-pamby for them.

      • mille derps

        Mitt to Bad Guys: "After you".

        Bad Guys:"No, no- after YOU"…

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Who knew The Bad Guys were Alphonse and Gaston?

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Knowing is half the battle.

    • Doktor Zoom

      If only we could track down the Legion of Doom in their secret swampy headquarters!

    • sullivanst

      I thought his foreign policy was "President Obama is wrong about everything, so I will do exactly what he has been doing."

    • glamourdammerung

      Are the bad guys the ones with the red or the blue lasers?

  • Tilley

    UN? UN?!! WTF Mittens?!

    oh all these wonderful things, gender equality blah blah — HOW YOU GONNA DO IT MITTSTER? You got nothin'.

  • faster_kittycat

    Fuck? Terrists and gender equality? Romney sux.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Go after the bad guys.
    Take them out of the picture.
    Romeny's strategy is straight from a B movie.

    • Biff

      Worked for reagan, didn't it?

  • mille derps

    Mitt's strategy is to go after the bad guys. This will be easy since they're the ones helpfully wearing black hats.

    • bikerlaureate

      With or without the CCCP monograms ?

  • AlterNewt

    What's the point. Mitt won the toss backstage. It's over.

  • TribecaMike

    Economic development = more Bechtel and Halliburton contracts.

  • GuanoFaucet

    Hahaha! Mitt, you don't give a shit about gender inequality.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Mitt wants education, gender equality and the rule of law for other countries — what, and they're not good enough for us?

  • Callyson

    "gendered equality"

    Glad Mitt supports that in the Middle East. I just wish he supported that here in the US as well…

  • PugglesRule

    MALI! Drink again.

  • Biff

    OK, mittens just opened the door for Mormon missionaries in the Middle East, hurray!

  • C_R_Eature

    Economic Development. Rejection of Violence, Gender Equality. All the things that the Modern Republican Party rejects at home.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    What is he talking about?

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Poor Molly.

  • Negropolis

    Russia! Drink!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Right, Mitt — if you were president, you'd be in Mali and Syria. Please elaborate.

  • faster_kittycat

    Jesus, Romney has memorized his book report and is spouting, spouting.

    Oooops. Russia.

  • sbj1964

    Pell grants for Arabs,while cutting them for our kids!

  • Terry

    Mittens is calling for more foreign aid. How you gonna pay for that, Mitt? Have you asked your handlers what they think about that?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    somebody gave miffed a binder on 'mali' and now miffed is all over mali.

    even knows how to say it.

  • Callyson

    Russia! So glad Obama worked that idiotic comment of Mittens into the conversation!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    The cold war is over and Romney has a sad.

  • Negropolis

    Oh shit! Barry is cutting a bitch.

    • viennawoods13

      oh yeah.

  • chascates

    Iraq? We're done with that quicksand.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Willard wants to turn the Middle East into Santa's Workshop.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    whoa barry is cutting a bitch.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Every time you've offered an opinion you've been wrong. Nice shot, Bamz!

  • Callyson

    More troops in Iraq, huh? Yeah, that'll go over well with the American people…GO OBAMA!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Obama: "I know you haven't had a chance to actually execute foreign policy."

    Take that, boy.

  • chascates

    "You're living in the past, money boy!"

  • ProgressiveInga

    Oh, SNAP! "You said Russia is our biggest threat"….get 'im, Barry!

  • tracyhasfun

    Prez wearing flip-flop detectors.

  • Beowoof

    The 1980's want their foreign policy back, the 1950's their social policy, the 1920's their economic policy, best line so far.

  • Tilley

    "You haven't had the opportunity to execute foreign policy…" OOOOO I love it when the Bamster sticks it in.

    • doloras

      SO DOES MICHELLE HEY-OHHHHHHHHH!

    • Terry

      He also said the Commander in Chief needs to be steady and consistent. Oooh, burn, Mitt!

  • Mittaplasia

    Ha! Bams points out Mitten's lack of presidential experience….drink!

  • FraAnima

    Mitt, you ignorant slut.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "You have not been in a position to execute foreign policy" Thank you for reminding everyone how inexperienced Mittens is Bamz!

  • http://gorejusgeorge.tumblr.com CheeseBro69

    ugh… Mitt Romney bitch face

  • sudsmckenzie

    Ooohh, Hopey is pulling the long knives out tonight.

  • chascates

    Depnds. Just like you wear.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Chas, love the tip of the hat to Sen. McGovern.

  • SorosBot

    And now Obama steals my "Mitt's living in the 80s" joke!

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      He liked the music but not the hair.

  • IndianaKevin

    Boom! The 1980s are calling, asking for their foreign policy back.

  • Callyson

    "You were not only wrong, you were confusing"

    Go Mr President!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Ouch!
    Every time you offered an opinion you were wrong!
    Nice jab Barry.

  • Wadisay

    Mittens: Very conflict adverse and stammery so far.
    Barry: Bringing it. "All over the map." No pun intended.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      "Stammery" = "thoughtful" on FOX.

  • Beowoof

    Strong and Steady not wrong reckless.

  • sbj1964

    What Mitt is all over the map?Imagine that.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Barbary pirates in 4…3…2…

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      And Bamz should take credit for the fact that piracy is down to recent-record lows this year.

  • PugglesRule

    "Of course I don't concur with the president about my record. That's inaccurate." No, you're just lying again, Mittz.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Rattling Mitt by getting in his face worked so well the last time, I think I will do it again. Get him PresO! Wrong Mitt, you're wrong, every time your open that lie-hole, you're wrong.

  • Tilley

    "quit attacking me!"
    "excuse me!"

    whiny bully butt.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Awwww Mittens doesn't concur.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Boo-bloody-hoo.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Nice answer, Prez — Mitt's all over the map in terms of coming up with policies. That needs to be emphasized, since he has no damn idea what's going on in the world.

  • keepwalkin

    Please God just let it be over.

    Let it be OVER, MAN………………..PLEASE!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • chascates

    This is a debate of course he's going to attack you. You're not in the CEO's chair any more.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Miffed always thinks he's in the CEO's chair.

  • Negropolis

    Attacking Romney is not a foreign policy, but attacking Obama is a complete foreign policy, right?

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      right and the difference is we KNOW bamz' foreign policy. what we need tonight is to know mittens'. and he doesn't want to share.

    • viennawoods13

      Well duh.

  • Beowoof

    Called on his Russia comment Mitt says that the President is wrong.

  • GuanoFaucet

    Romney is already rattled. This is going to be fucking awesome.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "Putin" drink!

  • snowpointsecret

    Hearing either one complaining about attacks just always makes me cringe.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Please link to any sites that cite any complaints that President Obama has made about the GOP's nonstop attacks on him over the past four years, or Romney's attacks. AFAIK, Romney's the only one whining, although POTUS has far better cause for complaint, given that most of the attacks on him have been the result of the basest racism.

  • proudgrampa

    Romney's 1980s foreign policy: good move, Mr. President!

  • C_R_Eature

    "The things that I've said, they don't happen to be accurate."

    That's the only thing Romney's said all season that I agree with.

  • Mittaplasia

    Oh, the bully plays the victim. Pathetic, Mittens.

  • Biff

    Moar backbone!

  • SorosBot

    Obama is being inaccurate by quoting the exact words Mittens said!

  • Callyson

    So Mitt Romney thinks talking about Romney's policy positions is the same thing as attacking him? ROTFLMAO!

  • FakaktaSouth

    You can attack me if you would like Mr President. Oh he DOES LIKE MItt, and OH YEAH he WILL attack your ass. PresO wants me to be a happy girl, you are fucked.

  • Tilley

    Shut UP MITT! The President is talking.

    • UW8316154

      I love it when Bamz is the adult in the room.

  • MissTaken

    "Attacking me is not an agenda"
    No, but it sure is fun to watch!

  • TribecaMike

    That's fine and dandy gentlemen, but why is the capital of New Zealand named for a type of boot?

    • snowpointsecret

      I bet neither knows where Melekeok is, how can we trust them when they talk about maps?

    • doloras

      If you'd ever been there during winter, or as we call it "The Season of Horizontal Rain", you'd know.

      • TribecaMike

        I own the Lord of the Rings extended versions, so I feel like I've been there.

        • doloras

          Part of that was shot in the park over my back fence, no lie.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            May I come visit? I'll be VERY good.

  • chascates

    Actually, the PREVIOUS administration signed agreements with the Iraqi government which we were compelled to follow.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      those fucking guys. they'll all be back if miffed steals the election. four more wars!

  • sbj1964

    Iran a country that sent 13 year old boys to fight.We're scared.

  • Callyson

    OH YEAH–Bammerz did not let Mittens cut him off. GO OBAMA!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Back to Iraq! One more time for extra Mission Accomplished!

  • PugglesRule

    Mitt's mouth is all over the place. He's trying to talk all over Obama again. Romney's got a condescending smile now.

  • Mittaplasia

    Ask about Tagg's voting machines…please?

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    I demand that Wonkette put in place a Status of Horses agreement.

  • FraAnima

    Don't you just want to slap that smirky face?

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Our Prez has been paying attention to what you've been on record saying, Mitt. Maybe it's time you did, too.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Hopey is sounding very presidential.

    • mille derps

      Yes- it's almost like he's been practicing!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Hammer Mitt on saying we should keep troops in Iraq. The idiot is a bellicose fool and those sadly undecided voters need to hear it.

    • Negropolis

      Obama has brought this up about a half a dozen times just this far, and I hope he ends with this.

  • Negropolis

    Nation-building here at home FTW.

  • C_R_Eature

    Nation Building at Home! WOOHOO!

  • Beowoof

    Wrong and confusing, Obama lands a nice combination.

  • Callyson

    We can't continue to do nation building in these nations–we have to do nation building at home

    THAT line will go over well with the Americans–good one, Mr President.

  • SorosBot

    And the livefeed locks up again. Thanks, youtube!

  • orygoon

    Mitt is trying so hard to stutter out his memorized talking points. Randomly.

    • mille derps

      "Tumult, derp, derp, derp, tumult…

  • littlebigdaddy

    Zoomba: in case Tagg Romney is tased by the Secret Service, what is the rule in the official Wonkette drinking game?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Now is the time on Wonkette when we dance.

      • Biff

        Touch my monkey!

  • TribecaMike

    Jim Lehrer is a lot more animated this time.

    • GuanoFaucet

      Haha. Win.

  • mille derps

    Nation building here at home!!! Yes!

  • chascates

    Bob, does your brother Tom still pal around with George Bush or is he so rich after that Texas Ranger deal he doesn't even talk to you any more?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Fer realz??

      • chascates

        true that

  • BlueStateLibel

    Rmoney totally out of his depth on foreign policy, just like every other idiot U.S. CEO.

    • Terry

      But disassembling companies is JUST like leading a government!

  • AlterNewt

    But what about Cylon? And Siam?

    • Terry

      And Kobol!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      And the Sudentenland?

    • finallyhappy

      Fracking
      toasters!

      • Doktor Zoom

        It's the skinjobs you gotta watch out for.

  • Tilley

    Is it just me, or is Bammers making Mittens look like a bellicose dithering flithering fool? Or maybe Mittens is doing it to himself.

  • ProgressiveInga

    The Taggster is not amused.

  • Callyson

    "Ultimately, Syrians are going to have to determine their own future"

    Snark off–my grandfather was Syrian, and he would wholeheartedly agree with this. I am so glad he did not live to see W's rule…

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Do you mind if I just hang my mouth open and say "How cool!"?

      As an Ethnic, I feel obliged to be interested in all other Ethnics. Even Semi-Ethnics. So, was he a Nestorian Christian? Or a Mar Thomite? And did he teach you anything about Syria?

      • Callyson

        He was pretty agnostic, actually–I'm not sure what religion he was raised in. And he taught me a little about Syria, though he was mostly glad to be in the US. I still miss the Syrian picnics that I used to go to as a kid though–the food was great.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          The food is fab. I don't have enough recipes, so feel free to enrich me. I just made friends with a sweet little Syrian girl who is threatening to dye her white kitten the colours of the flag (!). Don't know enough about the country, reading recommendations and personal viewpoints solicited like crazy. Thanks, sweetie.

          • Callyson

            I never got the recipes, sadly :-(

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Drat! If I find any, want me to pass them on to you? There's a chef in the closest town who's like, all cool and nouvelle and raved about, and I think he's Syrian, and I'm planning to go see what he can do, in the hopes of learning something.

          • Callyson

            Sure! Thanks dude!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    bamz doesn't need to be funny. he lives this crap. he can rattle it off extempore from his mother wit.

  • gullywompr

    Syria is a good investment

  • chascates

    Are you suggesting we invade Syria?

    • Negropolis

      I want the president to ask Romney this every single time he rattles the saber.

      • chascates

        If only the moderator would!

        • Negropolis

          Speak of the devil, Bob just did this in so many words.

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        Agreed. I hate fucking chicken hawks.

  • biraweeyaz

    How long before the Israel dick-sucking begins? I WANNA SEE SOME ISRAEL DICK SUCKING

    • doloras

      And Palestine is holding the video camera!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Mitt's coming apart. He keeps contradicting himself. Singing a replacement government. Hmmm.

  • chascates

    Oh, we want the CIA to take care of it.

  • MissTaken

    “The Cold War called and it wants its foreign policy back”

    Yeah, well the jerk store called and they want their 0100011111. ERROR ERROR

  • Callyson

    Mittens is repeating everything Obama said about Syria so far.

    • Terry

      But acting like he's saying something new

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    A council in Syria? sounds like socialism.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    I usually watch the livestream on my computer behind all these other windows, and so I just looked at the actual video and WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THAT TIE, MITTENS?

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    We must let the free market deal with Syria. Let them rise above their differences through marketing of their famous flatbread.

  • coolhandnuke

    Mitt's skin color has moved from nutsack red to sphincter crimson.

    • ProgressiveInga

      Gross, but accurate.

  • Not_Mother

    It's early but this is like Denver in reverse.

  • PugglesRule

    Is Romney saying that we should coordinate a coup in Syria??

  • gullywompr

    Mitt's a little bereft of detail, no?

  • snowpointsecret

    Honestly I have no idea what Mitt's actual policy is right now, he's talking in circles like a dog chasing its tail.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    A sod must go.

  • chascates

    Have you perhaps heard of the Muslim Brotherhood? They're not just in Egypt, you know.

    • mille derps

      Just ask Michele B- she can tell y'all all about them there sleeper cells right here in our State Dept…

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Did you hear the Muslim Brotherhood's response to those accusations? It was truly LOLworthy.

  • Wadisay

    Mitt brought his tie-died T-shirt and peace sign tonight.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      That T-shirt is from Neimans and it cost $1,800.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Mitt: "Syria is Iran's only ally in the area — it's their route to the sea…"

    wtf. Persian Gulf, dumbass. Of course, if the Iranian navy (i.e. twelve rubber boats) wants to operate in the Mediterranean they can use ports in — um — Lebanon, the country next to Syria. This is a Palinesque display of foreign policy expertise.

  • TribecaMike

    Who gets to decide which ones are the good insurgents?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Whichever ones Egg calls "those people."

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Oh, I'm sorry, Bob. I thought you said "Assyria."

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Indicating that his middle east policy is in the 1980s, BCE.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Is it because his cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold?

  • AlterNewt

    We don't get "drawn in", we get PUSHED in.

  • Negropolis

    Honestly, what in the hell is Mitt blabbering on about?

    • Terry

      He doesn't know either.

    • mille derps

      He could tell us, but then he'd have to kill us.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Something to do with horses and bayonets, I think.

  • Veritas78

    Good luck with your leadership role in Syria, Mitt.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I hear the Syrians take direction very well from Mormon gazillionaires.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    mitt sounds like he's working on the SAT essay portion.

    and losing.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Wait, what am I talking about? I have no idea. Poor Mitt. He is having trouble with all the names they told him to memorize.

  • Callyson

    "We should be playing a leadership role"

    FFS, I am so tired of this line–it seems to be the default way to bash Obama when the righties have no facts…

    • doloras

      It means "We should bully people, kick ass and make them grovel".

  • chascates

    We don't have friends in the Middle East. We have frenemies.

    • Terry

      The Bahrainis aren't particularly pissed at us

      • chascates

        They are the true Capitalists of the region. Romney would feel at home there.

  • Wadisay

    Shorter version: Mitt and Bamz are in violent agreement on Syria.

  • Powerpuff_Grl

    In going on about all the things he thinks we need to do in Syria, EVERYTHING Mitt says we should do is EXACTLY what Obama's administration is ACTUALLY DOING!!

    So, the only time Mitt embraces a clear policy is when it belongs to Obama?

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Romney is in way over his head–it is clear he doesn't know shit every time he opens his mouth.

  • Negropolis

    Mission creep and mission muddle. Stay away from the military jargon, Bams.

  • Tilley

    KICK HIM BAMMY! Get your "mission creep" on. Yeah!

    Osama bin Laden! DRINK TWICE.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    MItt spent time in France dong Mission Creep.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Mitt's smile/scowl makes him look like a badly-carved pumpkin.

    • MissNancyPriss

      that's exactly right.

  • Pat_Pending

    As a Giants fan, this is a very difficult night of channel flipping…

    • MissTaken

      Vogey Vogey Vogey!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Bats're on FIRE!

  • mavenmaven

    Is he finally going to say that we liberated Libya and Romney's people led us into destruction in Iraq?

  • SorosBot

    So Mitt's foreign policy is basically that whatever Obama has done, the opposite.

    • http://yunoletmehavecoolwebnameblogspot.blogspot.com/ Jennyjen798

      Sort of. As long as the opposite of what Bamz would do is send soldiers on a pointless war.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      "What ever it is I'm against it!"

  • C_R_Eature

    Wait, Mitt: "Find organized parties" in country, arm them and send them as Insurgents against the occupying government? Great! That sounds exactly like what we did in Afghanistan in the 80's. That worked out really well.

    Tell us more about what John Bolton and Dan Senor think we should do about Syria.

  • Callyson

    Gadaffi had more American blood on his hands than anyone other than OBL

    Good way to remind the Americans who got Osama, Mr President…nice!

  • ibwilliamsi

    Why does Bishop Romney think that he can fact check President Obama? He said they weren't going to let fact checkers run their campaign!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      He meant HIS OWN campaign. He wants Conservapedia factcheckers to run Obama's campaign.

      • ibwilliamsi

        He needs to send them at least $10, then. Visa and Mastercard accepted.

  • FakaktaSouth

    I love mad PresO, love his tone, love his, hey dude, this is serious and you are a dumbfuck here and I do not care for it, you or your suggestions. We were gonna FINISH, bitch.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      yup. this is a huge strength for him and he's playing it.

  • Beowoof

    Doing things in a careful thoughtful way, is he trying to appeal to Americans.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Syria's new government: WalMart.

  • Not_Mother

    Romney big tactical error committing to war with syria

  • C_R_Eature

    Did Mitt say he wants to replace Assad with a Nude Government? Or is that just me?

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      depends on who's actually, you know, nude.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      He said Nuke. I swear.

      • C_R_Eature

        "Noob?"

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Actually …

  • coolhandnuke

    How can you replace Assad without military involvement, Mitt?

  • mavenmaven

    Oh, wow, Romney is so full of crap! We want to remove Assad, but without the military, and we want to lead, but have our allies be on the ground? What nonsense!

  • chascates

    Oh, we've tried putting in a government 'friendly to us' in, hmmm, Iraq (after Mossadeq), Iraq (recently), and on and on.

  • SorosBot

    Gah stupid livefeed only wants to work when I'm on that tab for some reason. Grr.

    • MissTaken

      would msnbc or cnn be better?

      • SorosBot

        No, neither one of them worked at all. Gah. I blame all of them having some extra auto-updating bullshit like fucking twitter comments. WTF newsmasters? Nobody gives a shit about anything on twitter.

    • Biff

      Try a separate window instead of tab?

    • viennawoods13
  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    "Arms! Arms! Where does General Sherman keep his ARMIES???"

    In his fucking sleevies, Mitt.

    • FakaktaSouth

      Oh my god I just snorted. and guffawed. and almost got out of a hate-mood. ALMOST, but the mitt-hate, it is so strong.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I want to squeeze his turkey neck. With, um, celery stalks. At midnight.

  • sbj1964

    Mitt,does not want to use our Military.He might have to run off to France.

  • Veritas78

    Pussy. This is a test. Pussy.

  • lulzmonger

    Hoo boy … Willard has checkers, BHO has chess-pieces.

    "No place for our military in Syria" = Bloody Bill Krystal is quietly baaaawing in the back of the RomneyJet.

    • doloras

      And Jerome Corsi is comforting him.

      • lulzmonger

        EEeEEeeeewwwwwwwww.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Pictures, PLEEZE!

  • Wadisay

    Mitt wants American leadership. He wants to be the Man on the White Horse (Rafalca).

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Rafalca is blah. Can't go to the White House. Must stay in Kalifornia.

  • Mittaplasia

    Mitt's stuttering like he did too much crank.

    • ibwilliamsi

      Not enough.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Bishop Romney embracing "Leading from behind"… Is that what Gloria Allred's "October Surprise" is all about?

  • Pat_Pending

    "Our objectives are… remove Assad but do it without troops. Let the partners do it, but we have to do something, it's very bad and we can give them arms and….."

    Word salad time again!

  • Tilley

    "a council of some kind."
    "no troops, but arms."
    What the fuck is this fucker fucking trying to say?

    • ibwilliamsi

      Dude's trying to fill his 2 minutes with "yada yada yada", but he's never "yada'd". It's against the Mormon roolz.

  • Callyson

    "This has been going on for a year"

    Christ, imagine if Mittens had been around during the American civil war:

    "Come on, guys, it's been a year–they won. Let them secede. Tough luck for the slaves."

  • proudgrampa

    Oooh. I like what I am hearing.

  • Beowoof

    Hey dopey he just said we were leading the effort, Mitt is just spitting out drivel from his memory bank.
    He has no different ideas.

  • orygoon

    I don't want our military in Syria either, especially what with The Spare being a military now.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    You can't just go throwing guns at people, mittens.

  • Terry

    Mitt has fallen into the the trap of assuming that if he doesn't know about something that it must not be happening

  • C_R_Eature

    You know WHO ELSE conducted a proxy war in a foreign country wracked by Civil War?

    • snowpointsecret

      Wasn't that just the entire Cold War though

      • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

        Candy Crowley?

    • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

      GEORGE HITLER W. BUSH!!!
      ~

    • SorosBot

      Harry Truman, Dwight Eisenhower, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, and George H.W. Bush?

      • C_R_Eature

        You forgot William Randolph Hearst.

        • Doktor Zoom

          Not that Dewey…

          • C_R_Eature

            To Err is Truman

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            To Woo is Mine.

    • bikerlaureate

      France ?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      That buddy of Francisco Franco's, way back when. I forget his name I'm pretty sure they are both still dead.

      • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

        Andrew Breitbart?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Was it Fidel in Angola or Uncle Joe in Spain or LBJ in Vietnam or Harry Truman in Greece or Stalin/Mao in Korea or Nixon in the Yom Kippur War?

      • mille derps

        AOTK.

    • sullivanst

      Mussolini?

  • Negropolis

    Okay, that was a softball question, Bob, but since it helps the president, I'll allow it. lol

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    Isn't Syria right between Libya and Kenya?

    • Terry

      Can you see Russia from there?

      • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

        Oh, right! It's in between Jersey City and Hoboken!

    • Callyson

      That's where it is on the FOX News map…

  • gullywompr

    JFK! Drink!

  • Veritas78

    It sounds like wussy?

  • Tilley

    Mittens is noticeably less eager to butt in and talk over the top of the President and the moderator. One of his handlers must have told him it makes him look like a jerkbag.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Or mebbe he's just knows nothing about the topic.

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    Bamz has his stink eye on tonight.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      He sure do, don't he?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "recognize the rights of women" drink!

  • Callyson

    Obama sure looks alert and decisive here–at a minimum, this won't be Denver II…

  • VinnyThePooh

    This is longest I've ever seen Mitt with his mouth shut.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    Thank GOD Sully is off the ledge: "Obama basically tells Romney that his "new policy" on Syria is actually already being executed by the Obama administration. In fact, almost everything Romney is currently advocating is Obama foreign policy. And dismissing military involvement in Syria is another denial of neoconservative doctrine. Romney is effectively endorsing Obama's foreign policy, except for demanding that we "lead" in some amorphous way."

  • chascates

    Maybe Bain Capital could help out Egypt!!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      they could buy them out and bankrupt them! oh did you say "help"? sorry, never mind.

  • ibwilliamsi

    He's wearing a British tie. Just sayin'…

  • Beowoof

    This Obama guys knows something about the situation in Egypt. I could vote for him. The other guys is trying to get me to buy a used Altima.

  • PugglesRule

    Non-corrupt economy in Eqypt? Well, Romney would not understand that.

    • NellCote71

      No money to be made from a non-corrupt economy.

  • TribecaMike

    No surprise that Obama is winning. Foreigners know a lot more about foreign stuff than we do.

  • Callyson

    Mittens' eyes keep looking like they are watering up. I think he realizes that he's got a fighter for an opponent now…

  • sudsmckenzie

    I think Hopey would be happy to talk about this shit for about the next 4 or 5 hours.

  • ProgressiveInga

    Scheiffer is snoring. WAKE UP, BOB!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I love how Bamz keeps bringing this foreign poicy debate back to domestic issues.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I was hoping he would do that. He's in control.

      • Callyson

        And Mittens fed into that by doing the same thing, thus giving Obama a chance to make up for Denver. Yes!

  • chascates

    Yes, hindsight is truly a bitch.

  • Negropolis

    I love how Mitt has been forced to say "I agree with the president" as many times as he has.

  • smashaduck

    Entrepreneurial conference? Is that like a time-share conference? Do they have a shrimp tower?

  • clblabin

    Barry's doing good with the undeciditards on CNN so far.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    If Mitt Romney breaks out into George Michael's "Freedom '90," I'm SO GOING TO VOTE FOR HIM.

  • orygoon

    Barry wins, Giants win, Bears win. A night of win. Please.

  • Beowoof

    Agreeing with Barack, wow, the Rombot 2.0 is having a programing malfunction.

    • Terry

      And going against Neocon theology

  • Negropolis

    "Freedom voices"? WTF? Really?

    • PugglesRule

      Also, too, you betcha.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      wasn't that the name of Ashcroft's group?

      "Let the Eeeeeeagle soooooar"

  • Tilley

    Mittster is waffling and whining and wussing. "I felt the same as the president did …" In other words, Barry was RIGHT and you're a tool.

  • gullywompr

    Freedom voices?

  • GuanoFaucet

    Freedom voices? That's positively Palinesque.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    What time is Dick Cheney scheduled to burst out of Romney's chest?

  • Veritas78

    What is this crystalline vision of Mitt's of which we are bereft? Another leg cut off.

  • Callyson

    Mittens wants to talk about how he wishes we had had a better vision of the future in Egypt? Where the fuck was he when we went into Iraq with no postwar planning?

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      as i said to mr. fuflans: 'righhhhhhhtttt. a mittens administration would have bailed on mubarek'.

      right.

  • ibwilliamsi

    "We need to get them into a leadership role. They don't have a plan." Maybe Tagg and his buddies could knock on the doors in Syria and get them to convert to the Church of LDS…

  • Zango Crudmonger

    I'm still trying to make sense of Mitt's "Syria is Iran's route to the sea." On my maps Iranians have quite a bit of shoreline w/o going through Syria.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      it's because they don't have us america maps and such.

    • Biff

      Syrian Gulf!

  • TribecaMike

    Ann Romney: "What do you know about passion, Mitt?"

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Damn — Mitt just pissed off his base by saying he agrees on getting rid of Mubarak — Assity and the right-wing radio jocks have been saying for years that that opened the door for the Muslim Brotherhood to take over the country and it's an essential post of their armageddon-speak.

  • gullywompr

    The fucking economy! Geezuss!

  • smashaduck

    Is he running for Miss America now too? World Peace, bitches!

    • Callyson

      After tonight's performance, he has a better chance in that contest.

  • Wadisay

    I get the impression both of these guys want to be done talking about this shit going down in the Arab world.

    • chascates

      We should be drilling for oil and gas in Australia.

  • ProgressiveInga

    "We want a peaceful planet"
    Except for birds. We'll kill those to make more coal.

  • snowpointsecret

    Why is Romney even taking Iran at its word if he hates them so much?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Romney already sounds tired.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i think this is bamz actually not politicking much. i guess he doesn't need to.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I wish we had a better vision for the future.
    Gah!
    Bring back Nancy Reagan’s horoscopes.

  • Negropolis

    Mittbot is overheating. Someone check his auxiliary fan.

  • sbj1964

    Mormon Bishop Mitt is now a dove.Mormon Jesus is not fooled.

  • Tilley

    It's not economy night Robo-man, it's foreign policy night, so quit trying to hijack. Schieffer ain't gonna have it.

  • prommie

    Mitt's trying to bring the debt into this! Lame ass fuckwit fuck you!

  • MissTaken

    Mitt's eyes look watery. Can't be tears, must be a new lubricant program for his eyelid function.

  • Pat_Pending

    This is what a CEO in the headlights looks like.

  • C_R_Eature

    We're blessed with Terrific Soldiers. None of them are Romneys.

  • Beowoof

    Back to the economy, yeah Mitt showing his full lack of knowledge on foreign policy. We have allies, a stunning observation.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      42 of them! It's the answer to life, the universe and everything!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I wonder how the right-wingers are reacting to miffed saying things like "allies" and "peace"?

  • Callyson

    Our debt is the strongest national security threat we face

    Yeah–going to fight two wars AND cutting taxes AND adding a bungled and wasteful prescription drug benefit will do that. And who was President then?

  • FakaktaSouth

    BLAH BLAH When's Mitt gonna talk about all his foreign country experience through the Olympics? Seriously? He's drowning here.

    • ibwilliamsi

      You hold his feet. I'll push on his pretty hair.

  • chascates

    These colors don't run. The world.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    What is Mitt talking about?
    He's like a random word algorithm.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Mitt, a trillion dollar cut to our military over ten years would only cut out some of the fat that got injected into it since 9/11. We'd still be the largest, most expensive, most shitkicking military in the fuckin' world.

  • lulzmonger

    Every time I hear that rhetorical pip "unthinkable," I say "think better next time, motherfucker."

    Every. Last. Time.

  • Terry

    Mitt: we're blessed with terrific soldiers..

    Yeah, but the sailors, airmen, and Marines suck, eh, Mitt?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    we only have 42 friends?

    the fuck? fucking facebook.

  • MissTaken

    Iraq, Iran
    Potato, Potatoe
    Are they really any different, Mitt??

    • mille derps

      Bomb them both- then all distinctions will be as naught.

  • Veritas78

    We're second to none, but… We have the most allies, but… We're the most powerful, but we have no influence?

    Okay, this is all a loser for the Mittster.

  • chascates

    Of course what's good for our largest corporations is foremost in our foreign policy.

  • orygoon

    Money for the military AND the debt is bad. All in one breath.

    Sigh.

  • Wadisay

    America is not stronger anywhere in the world.

    Mittens leads with his not-inconsiderable chin.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    Mittens is talking in generalities b/c foreign po' ain't his bag. That's also why he's being a kitten tonight. Nice try Mittens. Not gone work.

    • bikerlaureate

      Why did his brain trust agree to the final debate being on foreign policy? Is it yet another internal sabotage maneuver?

  • VinnyThePooh

    Because all those things work so well here in America.

  • Biff

    If people vote for peace, mittens, you ain't got a prayer!

    • mille derps

      Sadly, saber-rattling works quite well as an election strategy with U.S. Americans.

  • sbj1964

    Defending oil.Thats what Mittens is talking about.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Mitt: "When there are elections, people tend to vote for peace, not for war."

    ETA: "Unless they vote for me."

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    "Elections… Some of my favorite sons, own voting machine software development corps."

  • gullywompr

    Mitt would teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.

    • TribecaMike

      I'd like to buy the world a smoke.

    • ibwilliamsi

      He'd like some money from the Kochs. They keep him company.

  • Not_Mother

    Hopey talking about PRINCIPLES. Stench talking about his PRINCIPALS.

  • snowpointsecret

    This is 90 minutes of "we need leadership" basically.

  • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

    It's weird really, the whole Arab Spring began when one Tunisian street-vendor, apparently upset about permit bureaucracy and maybe kickbacks to local honchos, set himself on fire. You'd think the American Right, with all their inane blather about free, unregulated markets, would pick that up and run with it. Nah Ah, You know, brown people and all that…all those little brown people are better off, for our interests, under the thumbs of strongmen and dictators. A-and, here's the pivot to the economy from Mr. Business.

    • Biff

      I've got a gas can and a Zippo here, somewhere.

  • Tilley

    AGAIN with the economy? STAY ON TOPIC Rominator.

  • Pat_Pending

    Human rights, human dignity, free enterprise… It's a little like tuna surprise with chocolate syrup.

  • Callyson

    Romney keeps trying to make this about the economy. He knows his attacks on Obama's foreign policy backfired…

  • ibwilliamsi

    "Looking back on President Obama, and even back further than that…"

    The Trapper Keeper just blamed W!

  • ProgressiveInga

    Flop sweat is never a good thing.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "our economy our military" blah blah blah platitudes yawn. way to go mitt!

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    Is that a hair out of place?! Ring the ALARM. Mittens comes undone…

  • Beowoof

    Jobs, jobs, jobs, and strengthening the military. Something new from Mittens.

  • PugglesRule

    So now he's dragging the US economy into this?? WTF Mittens. But on foreign policy he's all platitudes.

  • Negropolis

    Shorter Mitt: War is Peace.

    Honestly, that's his foreign policy. That's it. There is nothing else there.

    • gullywompr

      This.

  • Terry

    Mitt, at the end of Bush's term, not even the Brits and Canadians were all that friendly with us. Things are better now.

  • ElPinche

    Mitt is playing follow the leader….paraphrasing everything Obama says. What clueless fuck.

  • TribecaMike

    Allies is plural, Mitt, not just Israel.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Mitt: "I think the tension that existed between the US and Israel was terrible."

    Only during your visit, dumbass.

  • BathroomGoblin

    One Third Done

    Gagh.

    • ibwilliamsi

      And Mittens has used 3/4 of it. Does that mean he has to shutthefuckup in 15 minutes?

  • Powerpuff_Grl

    For the last 3 and 1/2 minutes, it's been all Mitt. WTF????

  • forgracie

    No jerbs is good news fer them military recruiters. Millard, you don't want yer purty boys getting' drafted or nothing do you?

  • MissTaken

    The growth rate is NOT slowing down, you fuck face.

  • chascates

    Yes, the President speaking out on Iranian dissent would have gotten a lot of them killed.

    • Terry

      Mitt is ill informed and reckless at best

  • orygoon

    Anodyne Mitt is the flavor of the night.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    Barry's face is all bitch, pleaseeeee.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Bullshit! You can NOT bring this back to the economy, muthafucka!

  • Negropolis

    At this point, he is literally stringing together a bunch of bullshit words and talking points. Thers is no there there with this Romney.

  • VinnyThePooh

    43% of global military spending isn't strong enough, Mitt?

  • Veritas78

    Mitt cannot win on this turf. Barack swings a bigger dick.

  • Not_Mother

    Not the same O on split screen…looking at roney like WTF you babbling about?

  • Callyson

    We ended the war in Iraq…we can refocus on the terrorist threat

    Nice, Mr President!

  • sbj1964

    Mitt has no principles,how can he lead?

  • prommie

    Nice kissing the ass of Israel Mitt! Fuck Mittt, fuck Mitt dumbass fuck I hate his fucking investment banker fraudster lying fraud ass.

  • Wadisay

    God, it seems like Mittens has been yammering on for about 5 hours. America, do you really want to listen to this stammering fuck for 4 years?

    • 415buzzard

      I kept waiting for a "moderator" to shut the fucker down but then I remembered it was Old Bob, who seemed to fall asleep when Mittens was speaking, for three hours at a time

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    DEARGAWD When will Mittens wipe that smug fucking condescending smirk off his fucking face?

    • orygoon

      That expression of his scares me.

    • ibwilliamsi

      He used Ann's Botox. It's stuck there for at least a week.

    • MissNancyPriss

      i think it's melting off

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    I love the way Mitt keeps trying to talk about the US economy.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Bamz should say, "We'd have plenty of money if everyone paid their income tax."

      • miss_grundy

        A doofus on Facebook decided to go after me because I believe everyone should pay their taxes and I went after his boy for hiding his money in the Caymans and Switzerland. Then he whined about how much Michelle spends on clothing, when Annie spends more and looks bad.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          Those big prints of hers look like shower curtains.

    • Esteev

      Each of his policies actually do contradict themselves!

  • chascates

    Like BAIN CAPITAL!

  • Pat_Pending

    In other news, St. Louis just loaded the bases with Sandoval coming up in the bottom of the third. 7-0, Giants. Which means I can go back to CSPAN without chewing my nails off.

    • MissTaken

      Giants be kicking ass!

  • Beowoof

    Don't you just want to slap that smug smile of Mitt's face. With a bag of votes of course.

    • Pat_Pending

      If lightly salted poisoned dicks be votes, then slap on….

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Obama is slapping that shit right off, (with votes, of course).

  • sudsmckenzie

    I don't think either of these two give a shit about Brazil.

    • Terry

      Obama can find it on the map, though

    • Blueb4sinrise

      kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

  • VinnyThePooh

    Obama needs to channel some Les Grossman.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Hey Mr. President, Mitt's gonna bring manufacturing back to our shores, too — why, with the elimination of child labor laws, the Nike factory will be cost-effective here.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I don't think Mitt has said anything of substance yet. It's all Republican talking points and bumper sticker speak.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    tax the rich!

  • miss_grundy

    And Bammerz is now repeating his domestic policy plank during the foreign policy question period…..

  • Tilley

    See what the President is doing right here, Mitt? He's talking SPECIFICS. Bring manufacturing jobs back. Cut exports by 2020. Actual ideas, not bullshit blather.

  • Negropolis

    Bush, Cheney DRINK!

  • snowpointsecret

    Mitt Romney looks like he's seriously about to cry over here. It's like a deer in headlights that actually understands its situation.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    bwahahha bush/cheney slam!

  • Beowoof

    Wrong and reckless policies again that right left combo again.

  • Barbara_

    Awesome tweet:
    Bill Maher ‏@billmaher
    Mitt's entire debate strategy: What he just said, but from a white guy

  • C_R_Eature

    Not rewarding companies that are shipping jobs overseas *cough* Sensata *cough* BAIN *cough* *cough*

  • GuanoFaucet

    Yes, tie Mitt to GWB! Keep fucking doing this.

  • Callyson

    Praised George W Bush as a good economic steward? Even *I* forgot that one–good reminder, Mr President!

  • chascates

    "I'll will force Congress to do my bidding."

    • ibwilliamsi

      Works for me…

  • Biff

    12 million jerbs! Drink!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      12 million drinks? oh boy.

      • Callyson

        That's how many I'll need if that fucker Mittens manages to take the White House…

  • PugglesRule

    "Taking us back to those strategies that got us into this mess…" Barry's right. Why is Romney talking about the economy? Hey, Schieffer, want to moderate and tell him to stay on topic???

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Five simple steps!

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    back to jerbs. always jerbs. jerbs, jerbs, jerbs!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      he thinks he's oprah. you get a jerb! you get a jerb! you get a jerb!

  • Pat_Pending

    Oh fuck, are we back to 'I know what it takes, it takes five simple steps' again? Sheez.

  • gullywompr

    This guy's stuck in the last debate

  • SorosBot

    OK, I heard Obama briefly mention Mittens praising Bush and Dick; awesome.

  • IndianaKevin

    Hey, wait! Mitt's got a plan!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Wow. After that excoriating hit — dragging Mitt's admiration of Dubya and Cheney into this — I don't think we're gonna see a smiling Egg at the end of this.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      DO NOT WANT

  • mavenmaven

    was it clever for Obama to shift back to the economy?

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    Mitt is looking more weasley and beady-eyed by the minute

  • Terry

    Romney is losing so he's bring out all his domestic dead horses to beat

  • FakaktaSouth

    OOOH Bringing up the great Satan Cheney and how much Mitt likes him, Oh Barry, you didn't. Fuck yeah, Mitt wouldn't even be as GOOD as Cheney, he would TOTALLY miss that guy's face and like, shoot him in the balls on accident. Good God.

    • prommie

      Oh damn now you are making that bet so hard.

  • Veritas78

    I gotta policy for the future heh heh right here in my pants. Let's go take advantage of Latin America. They'll love that!

  • chascates

    They have oil in Latin America. Although it is full of coloredz.

  • snowpointsecret

    NORTH American independence? Wait are we going to annex Canada under Romney's plan?

    • Loch_Nessosaur

      The Cananschluss.

    • viennawoods13

      Yes, because that worked out so well for you Yankees 200 years ago.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      One of his five points?

  • Tilley

    Latin America? HOW MITT? They can't all mow your lawn.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      The car elevator will be powered by browns.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      He's running for president for Pete's sake.

  • http://yunoletmehavecoolwebnameblogspot.blogspot.com/ Jennyjen798

    Jobs in China, he means.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    We have not properly taken advantage of Latin America. Mitt knows how to do that.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Brazil! Drink!

  • Loch_Nessosaur

    Hannity's already called it – Mitt won tonight.

  • MissTaken

    I show great wisdom and judgement when I shoot my friends in their face,

  • sbj1964

    Your party Mitt was the one that got us into this shit!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    so the tact here is to always sheer back to the economy i guess?

    i want to know who mitt will bomb and this is what i was promised.

    fucking debates.

  • Negropolis

    I love how Romney keeps bringing up Obama's employment promise without qualifying it with the reality that the Republican Congress did EVERYTHING in its power to thwart Obama putting people back to work. It was nothing short of sheer economic sabotage.

    • No_Wire_Hangers

      but that would be acknowledging reality, a feat republicans aren't known for.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    Particularly in latin america. I love latin america. I love latin americans. in fact i was born in mexico.

  • ProgressiveInga

    Time zone opportunities are so important.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    and Kirsten Boyd Johnston just laughed SO HARD. Have I already gotten her drunk??? (OK, so that’s our Special Guest, who IS yelling at furniture already!)

    Oh thanks for briefing us, Dok. HI KIRSTEN

  • gullywompr

    Does Mitt even remember the question?

  • Terry

    Latin America is not a single country nor is it a single economy, Mitt

  • Mittaplasia

    But…but…Mitt said in the last debate that goverment didn't create jobs, but if he is president he will create 12 million jobs. WTF, Mittnocchio???

    • bikerlaureate

      The TVA was a librul myth!!!!!1!

  • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

    Twits really think the US shoulda jumped in loud, with both feet, behind the Iranian uprising. That would have shut it down immediately. Mitt, one word (cough) Mossadegh (cough).

  • chascates

    That spending and borrowing binge began in 2001.

  • TribecaMike

    Renewable Latin Americans is a huge opportunity for us.

    Did Mitt just blurt out "Time zones" for no reason?

  • viennawoods13

    Jesus no his 5 step plan.

  • coolhandnuke

    Mitt's got that petulant Country Club jaundiced look in his eyes–the eye of the liar.

  • Powerpuff_Grl

    Greece doesn't have it's own currency, let alone a RESERVE CURRENCY, you fuckhead!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Who needs reserve currency when you have worry beads?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "I will get us on track. I will do this I will do that. etc" How Mittens? How? oh you have no answers.

  • sbj1964

    What now he's for teachers?

    • Callyson

      He likes them the same way he likes Big Bird.

  • SorosBot

    Mitt again says he knows how to created 12 million new jobs. WELL THEN WHAT IS IT, MITT? HOW DO YOU KNOW HOW TO CREATE NEW JOBS? We can't just trust you; how the hell would you know it when you have absolutely no experience relevant to creating jobs, only in destroying them?

    • MissTaken

      But but but government doesn't create jobs, and he wants to be head of the government, I'z confussed.

      • SorosBot

        It's almost as if he doesn't really have a plan but is just attacking and making vague promises he can't fulfill.

    • Terry

      It's a seekrit. You have to elect him to find out.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Mitt gives a shout-out to the Brazilian invaders from Latin America, thanks a lot.

    • UW8316154

      kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Mitt: "We've got to champion small business." By giving tax cuts to rich people who don't own small businesses?

  • forgracie

    Small business will bring peace to the world!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I'm guessing Mittens is a closet Brony.

    Ha! I just added Brony to my dictionary.

    • Pat_Pending

      He certainly has the luxurious hair. It just needs to be purple or blue or pink.

  • snowpointsecret

    Because clearly Greece is exactly the same as the US, right?

  • Callyson

    the road to Greece…and that's where we're headed right now

    Oh FFS, this is such hyperbole I can't even stand it. Every responsible economist will tell you that we are far from becoming Greece…

    • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

      Connecticut, with the same GDP as Greece, is always on the verge of bankruptcy (?) so, you know, Mitt, business experience…We'd have to fall pretty far.

  • Beowoof

    Come on Barry smack him down, oh yeah small business development in MA 48th and Mitt and Barry are small businesses in Mitt's definition. Going for the jugular.

    • Negropolis

      I love that he knows that it's 47th, but wants to try and bait Mitt into saying such a horrendous number. lol

  • SorosBot

    And then he says he'll stop government spending. But I thought he wanted to create jobs? Cutting spending destroys jobs, the exact opposite, moron. PS so dopes destroying unions.

    • Terry

      It requires magic

    • Esteev

      GOVT DOESN'T CREATE JERRRBS!!!!11!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    The American People do not care for math and science, Barack.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    I believe world peace could be achieved if Dr. Zoom swears to never again post anything with a pony in it.

    • mavenmaven

      Can we get back to ponies, bob?

  • Veritas78

    Smack, smack, smack. A-Game here tonight.

  • PugglesRule

    Oooh Massachusetts 48th of 50 in small business growth. Mitt was so good at that there. And Barry's bringing up class size as a way to be more competitive.

  • lulzmonger

    Willard uses … U DIDNT SMALL BIDNIZ THAT!
    It's … NOT VERY EFFECTIVE!

    • snowpointsecret

      Obama used Counter!
      Romney fainted!

  • VinnyThePooh

    BOOM!

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    yay plug for math teachers!!

  • Callyson

    (big gulp by Romney)

    Was Mittens seriously expecting that he would whip Obama's ass? He looks freaked out that he is having no such luck…

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Arguing with someone smarter is very punishing to an ego like Romney's.

  • mille derps

    Obama is SO UPPITY throwing Romney's words in his face like that !!1!

    • FraAnima

      Strange fruit.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Yeah, why don't he go back to his watermelon patch!

  • Beowoof

    Great argument on teachers Barry.

  • chascates

    I still have a home in Massachusetts.

  • prommie

    I'm magic, I am the magic Romney magic man, I willl just do these things, I will wave my magic hands and make jobs, I don't need specific policy proposals, I am magic, I have magic Mormon magic powers, no policies needed, I am just gonna tell you I am gonna make jobs balance the budget, cure cancer, I am gonna make the sun shine every day and make the lion lie down with the lamb I am magic Mitt Romney!

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    My state is great. Yeah, it's run by Dems…

  • Callyson

    Oh God, he is going to take credit for the hard work that *other people* in Mass did for that state's education. Asshole.

  • sbj1964

    Mitts all about short term profits.

  • ibwilliamsi

    This is NOT an economic debate! Why doesn't Schaeffer shut him down?

  • Mittaplasia

    C'mon. moderator, grow a pair…oh, they dried up long ago; damn!

  • VinnyThePooh

    Keep dodging the questions, Mitt.

  • TribecaMike

    Barack's inner Joe emerges.

  • redarmyzombie

    Hey guys, sorry I'm late; what'd I miss?

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Turns out Mitt's behind the Wonkette Brazilian invasion. Don't ask.

  • Tilley

    that was 10 years before you took office!
    Interrupt his interrupting ass, Bammy!

  • Beowoof

    Fighting back Barry, come on go Marcellus Wallace on his ass.

  • C_R_Eature

    We need Small Businesses! With tiny little people, like those wonderful Chinese who live packed in Dorms, work 12 hour days and get paid $5 a day!

    Also, our air and water is too clean.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      That wasn't racist at all, CRE.

      • C_R_Eature

        OK, Thanks! I'm sorry, I'll try harder.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          (uncoils stinging whip)

          Bad CRE_ature! BAD!

          • C_R_Eature

            Ow! Hey, not the Hectocotylus!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Hahahaha! You KNEW I was GAY!

          • C_R_Eature

            BAD Cyborg!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Allow me to enjoy the moment, fella. It's a rare occasion indeed, when I get you.

          • C_R_Eature

            Oh, by all means.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            (hug)

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    OW! PBO just whacked him!

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Hi z baby. How ya doin. I'm sooooooo nervous about this debate. I just got here. how does it look for us?

      • UW8316154

        Bamz is running the table.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Oh, thank god. Phew. Thanks.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Hey, darlin! I've been looking for you since gmail told me you posted! Damn, ID sucks ass when it comes to finding comments, don't it?

        • sullivanst

          Most annoying "feature" of ID, by far. At least when you wanna reply you can do so from the email then find it by sorting recent first for the upfisting.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Doesn't work if you've just upfisted a whole buncha other people before getting to that email. (grumps surlily <– is that, like, a real *word* 'nstuff?)

  • FakaktaSouth

    I'm so proud of the state I was Gov of – Taxachusetts, you know Rs, you love that place, yes? You fuck wit, and Barry won't even let you take credit for that. 10 years before Mitt, not even your doing.

  • Callyson

    "But that was ten years before you took office…and then you cut education"

    Facts and logic vs. interruptions and lies…Go Mr President!

  • Pat_Pending

    Barry briefly channeled Biden!

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    "Now both of you stfu about education…"

  • miss_grundy

    Schieffer is another Lehrer letting Mittens talk his ignorant ass off. When is he going to shut this asshole up???

    • mille derps

      To be fair, he let Obama interrupt Romney & Obama took full advantage of the opportunity…

  • chascates

    BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GET THE MONEY?

  • forgracie

    Binders full of money!

  • Biff

    Schieffer smash!

  • FraAnima

    I want binders of wimmens!

    • forgracie

      With binders full of money the wimmens will come.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    "Where are you going to get the money?"
    "Look, there's the angel Moroni!"

    • FraAnima

      Money? We don't need no steenking monies!

  • chascates

    Oh, you'll cut 'waste'!

  • Close_Read

    I just got here. Just turned it on. Someone please tell me Barry's going well?

    • MissTaken

      He is!

      • Close_Read

        Huzzzzah! <exhales!>

  • Negropolis

    They are SO going to tear Bob apart on the conservative internets, tonight.

  • Veritas78

    Fucked. The weasel is fucked. Now go pay for your bigger military. Even Bob's skeptical.

  • mayor_quimby

    So in four years, Mitt fixed all the schools, sounds plausible.
    He is also taking credit for kids in Mass. KNOWING ENGLISH!

  • Terry

    Wher are you going to get the money? Great question…

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Mitt wants bigger navy.
    Compensation?

  • snowpointsecret

    The moderator pressing Romney.

    Romney: "Come to our website."

    Is he even trying tonight?

    • gullywompr

      Math is hard.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Are we off topic enough now?

  • AlterNewt

    Republican hack, years ago on NPR:

    "Well, you know, the American people have a limited tolerance for complexity."

    • ibwilliamsi

      If they didn't then, they most certainly do now.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      "…that's why they are quick to buy our bullshit!"

  • Not_Mother

    romney cannot discuss foreign policy folks

    • ibwilliamsi

      no fucking doubt.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    Just as a reminder folk, Obamacare bad, (chuckle chuckle)

  • Callyson

    FFS, Mittens, quit interrupting the moderator and answer the fucking question! And no, telling us to look at your website =/= an answer…

  • chascates

    No they don't!

  • FraAnima

    But Obamacare saves money!!!!

  • sbj1964

    More guns means more peace! Since when?

    • FraAnima

      Spreading peace through the barrel of a gun!

  • TribecaMike

    Answer the freaking question already.

  • Veritas78

    So why do we have to get rid of all these programs to build more ships?

  • VinnyThePooh

    We don't absolutely have to have healthcare? Fuck you, asshole!

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Even Rafalca has better health care than I do.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    I'm awarding Mitt Romney a participation medal for attending todays debate. Who's a special boy? You are.

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      Perfect attendance!

      • Mittens Howell, III

        All three of him turned up tonight.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        And freshly combed hair.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Give one to Bob, too. He's, you know, there.

  • orygoon

    If I were moderator I would bring an ax to slam on a table sometimes.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      They needz the wimminz. These boys just don't do the job.

    • Esteev

      "30 seconds, cocksucker," Schieffer didn't say.

  • Veritas78

    States do ANYTHING better?

    • Callyson

      Let's see Texas get Osama bin Laden…

  • chascates

    Texas has rejected Medicaid dollars as have several others.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      ARIZONA!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Mitt: We will slash and burn, we will leave an empty wasteland behind us, we will drive the people wailing before us. And that's just our domestic policy.

  • Biff

    Uh, Bob?

  • Terry

    OMG, give Medicare to the States but cut the money to do it.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    Mittens is literally melting under the kliegs…

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      is he? awesome!

    • mayor_quimby

      Dd you mean kegel's?

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        those always make me melt.

    • dawgeral

      Ew. The smell!

  • Tilley

    Day One Obamacare gone. Up your ass. SHUT UP YOUR FACE IT"S NOT YOUR TURN NOW YOU LYING INTERRUPTING RUDE ASSHOLE.

  • Powerpuff_Grl

    Damn! I'm too used to my DVR. I keep trying to fastforward through MItt's lies and bullshit.

  • Callyson

    DAMMIT it's Obama's turn, shut up, Mittens!

  • sudsmckenzie

    Shut up Mitt. just Shut up.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    This is the worst fucking foreign policy debate I've ever heard.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      The problem is it's not a debate, and Mitt is not interested in discussing foreign policy.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Let's ask for our money back.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      EDITRIX: COMMMENT OF THE NIGHT!!!

      • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

        Awwwww….

        looks down bashfully, scuffles dirt with shoe

  • proudgrampa

    Holy fuck. The President is doing very well, here.

    • Terry

      Barry is one smart cookie

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    yeah asshole. you SHOULD have answered the first question.

    (sorry that wasn't funny).

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Unfortunately, this isn't a funny topic. Where are Akin and Bachmann? Let's ask THEM these questions.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Mitt's first day is going to awfully busy, that is, if he gets elected.

  • IndianaKevin

    We only need 8-10 years to balance the budget. Just elect me for 3 terms. –Mitt

  • Negropolis

    "You should have answered the first question," President Obama said with a sly grin.

    ZING!

  • Veritas78

    Barack owns this evening.

  • C_R_Eature

    WE can't afford "Obamacare", but we Can afford a parasitic, extractive Finance industry. Who knew?

  • VodkaGoGo

    "If I could for a moment Bob, STFU, I need to drone on about some shit I had nothing to do with. Also, we need to spend more on the military, because I'm better at business."

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    What about our growing Zeppelin gap?

    • Mittaplasia

      Jason Bonham's working on that.

  • viennawoods13

    Sure, Mitt, get rid of Obamacare and replace it with hmmm… Romneycare?

  • SorosBot

    Obama's a little low; we don't spend as much on our military as the next ten countries combines, we spend as much as every other single country on Earth combined.

  • C_R_Eature

    FUCK your Healthcare! We need DREADNOUGHTS!

    • Blueb4sinrise

      A MARTIN IN EVERY LAP!!

      • AlterNewt

        …or Taylor. They've really passed Martin by, sad to say.

  • Callyson

    Spending that the military is not asking for…excellent point, Mr President!

    • Terry

      Out of Iraq and ramping down in Afghanistan, there should be savings

  • ibwilliamsi

    While he was governor of MA, 4th graders were testing based upon what they had learned 4 years earlier, while a Democrat was governor. And, this has to do with foreign policy, how?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Mittenz scribblling: "Dear Ann, I haz a sad."

    • ibwilliamsi

      Unzip it!

  • Esteev

    Romney looks like he wants to pinch a loaf. And his policies don't make any sense. Who is voting for this moran?

  • Mittaplasia

    Need moar bouncers since the moderator isn't controlling anything.

    • ibwilliamsi

      Audience laughs – can I break out the tequila now?

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Our budget is driven by strategy, not politics. How you gonna top THAT, Willard?

  • IndianaKevin

    We needz moar military! And wars to keep them busy and sell high-dollar equipmentz.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    "maybe if i write on this pad i'll look like i know what the fuck i'm talking about…"

  • chascates

    Because you ask the feds for money for the Olympics!

  • snowpointsecret

    I'm sorry, the United States of America isn't a business.

  • Veritas78

    You balanced the Olympics by getting a Federal bailout, you stupid fuck.

  • Negropolis

    I hate that the polls are still going to be tied after this despite a clear clock-cleaning by Mr. Obama, but I'll take solace in the fact that Mitt's momentum has been stopped. If Mitt wants the presidency, he's literally going to have to steal it, because Obama ain't just gonna' let him take it from him.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    Lord, the Olympics? Really, Mittens? Again?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I heard today that our navy is bigger than the sum of the next 13 largest navy’s.

  • C_R_Eature

    "I'm a Businessman and I'm here to help."

  • GuanoFaucet

    The US government isn't a fucking business Mitt, you dumbfuck asshole.

  • Tilley

    The Olympics? Oh fucking Christ.
    30 seconds, shitbag.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Bullshit Recycler is on again.

  • Callyson

    "You didn't balance your budget, you went out of business"

    Remind me, how many of the businesses that Bain gobbled up went under?

    • Close_Read

      All of 'em, Katie.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Did Mittens ever answer the military question?

    • Tilley

      No.

  • LibertyLover

    He didn't balance any budgets as a businessman… he leveraged companies and stole the pension money.

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      And thus the government who has to pay for the lost pension money

  • courtneyesq

    There is not a four letter word in the English language Romney is more uncomfortable saying than the word "poor."

    • chascates

      He's probably been practicing not spitting when he says it.

  • LibrarianX

    This is the longest Red Bull ad I've ever seen.

  • Beowoof

    His business experience again. He bankrupted companies. He got more money from the feds to run his damn Olympics. Foolish to believe him.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He has lots of experience borrowing huge sums of money. Oh wait…

  • proudgrampa

    OMG. Mitt is playing the Olympics card. What an asshole.

    • Beowoof

      He keeps leaving out the federal funding that balanced his Olympic budget.

  • chascates

    There are people still flying biplanes!

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    "Way back when our Navy was *this* old.. no wait, I mean when it was *this* small…"

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Mitt's proud that he balances budgets. Um — how has he done that? By increasing revenue, right? Bringing in more money. How come that's fucking off limits to the Republicans? Explain, dumbass.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    BUSINESSES AND GOVERNMENT HAVE DIFFERENT FUNCTIONS AND PURPOSES YOU FUCK ROT! WHO CARES IF YOU BALANCED BUDGETS FOR A BUSINESS!

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Plus, he didn't He forced IPOs, loaded them down with debt and then sold out his stake, while they went bust because of the debt he handed them.

    • VinnyThePooh

      Businesses have an obligation to grow and generate revenue. Kinda conflicts with the whole "small government" belief of the Tightie Righties.

    • SorosBot

      That's what gets me; experience as a CEO is not only not applicable to government service, it's detrimental to working in government.

  • Tilley

    30 seconds are up, BOB.

  • forgracie

    Wait? Millard ran an olympics? Well, this changes everything…

  • Negropolis

    We should be able to fight infinite wars at once! Romney 2012!

  • SorosBot

    And C-SPAN's feed isn't working much better than the others; buffering buffering buffering. The fucking networks don't seem to get that some of us have to use our parents' internet connections, which are old and not all that fast, so give us some option that doesn't eat up a shitload of bandwidth, dammit.

    • Gleem McShineys

      I'm using PBS, er NewsHour, it seems pretty solid

  • Terry

    Mitt, you raving dickweed, you balanced the budget for the SLC Olympics by begging for Federal dollars!

  • Callyson

    OMG, Mittens wants to go back to the 2 conflicts at once strategy? The military HATED that!

  • lulzmonger

    "Let's talk about military spending."

    ***** N3VAR F0RG3T. *****

  • Not_Mother

    Tagg just took another one of Egg's aderalls. No swinging.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Is he the psycho-looking one? I can't keep 'em straight without a scorecard.

      • shelwood46

        There's one that isn't psycho looking>? (BTW, Gawker's Which is Creepiest Romney Boy post is quite helpful in clarifying that there are five of them, and they are all creepy.)

  • chascates

    In the future we won't bother with moderators in these things.

  • AlterNewt

    Now, you kids at home watching with your parents, remember:

    When you're having a discussion with someone always interrupt and talk louder, you know, like your role models.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    Did Mitt just say that we need to have more wars?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Our Navy is the smallest it has been since 1917, and the Kaiser has sent his ships to take over the seas.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    In honor of the navy and the Commodore Perry IPA from Great Lakes Brewing Co that I'm drinking: "We will not give up the ships!"

  • chascates

    LOL!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    I can't believe Mitt just used the "we can only fight one conflict, not two" argument about our military. The first defense secretary to go from a two-conflict military to a one-conflict military was Donald Rumsfeld. Jesus Christ.

  • snowpointsecret

    The sequestration cuts. You know, that Republicans had a lot to do with. Romney, what world are you from?

  • VodkaGoGo

    Yeah, our fleet of super-carriers is totally smaller than it was in 1917.

  • Negropolis

    Oh, shit! That's the line of the night.

    Horses and bayonets will be trending.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      And that's all the snark he needs to deliver.

  • GuanoFaucet

    Fewer horses and bayonets FTW. Go Obama!

  • sudsmckenzie

    And BOOM!!!

  • Callyson

    We also have fewer horses and bayonets

    YES! GO OBAMA!

  • TribecaMike

    Of course the Navy was larger in 1947. That was two years after the largest war of all time, weirdo.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "we have things called aircraft carrier!"

    I heart the prez.

  • sbj1964

    Like how would Mitt know how the military works?

    • dawgeral

      He saw a movie once, really.

  • mavenmaven

    whoa, obama just killed it with the aircraft carrier line. hooray!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Ow. It's not a game of battleship, sez PBO. POW!

  • orygoon

    A Massachusetts fourthgrade schoolchild is better at math than this former governor of theirs.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    bayonets, oooooh snap

  • Pat_Pending

    MORE HORSES AND BAYONETS!!!!!!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    is mittens as bad as he's sounding on the radio?

    cause from here, the polls should be more reflective of 'president of the US' vs. 'eb farnum'.

    • snowpointsecret

      It may actually be worse. Romney looks tired and Obama is on his game. It may be the opposite of the first debate.

  • gullywompr

    Oh! "These things called aircraft carriers"!! Snarky!

  • Terry

    Fewer horses and bayonets! I love it!

    • littlebigdaddy

      WTF? I am not watching…I am in a lecture. Did he really say that? Avast!

    • Esteev

      Submarines are like totally cool. Mitt should check one out. Hell, buy one!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Mitt is not used to being condescended to. It's precious.

  • PugglesRule

    We have fewer ships in the Navy. We also have fewers horses and bayonets. SCHWING!!

  • Veritas78

    Fewer horses and bayonets! Ships that go under water—submarines!

    SCORE.

  • tracyhasfun

    I DUB THEE, The Bayonet Burn.

  • Mittaplasia

    Whip it, Obie, whip it good! Yaaaaay!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Fewer horses and bayonets.
    Burn!

  • C_R_Eature

    Fewer horses and bayonets!

    Not on Wonkette.

  • forgracie

    But do we have submarines with lasers??

    • Close_Read

      American-built lasers! In pretty colors!

  • Tilley

    Oh BAM Bammy. Take it to him about military spending!

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    We have ships that go under water????????????

    WTF????? Is he kidding??????????

    • Blueb4sinrise

      He's kidding, it's just a Hollywood stunt.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Wow, KBJ and Blair are here? I'll be in my bunk. On a Navy ship somewhere.

  • redarmyzombie

    "We have these thngs called Aircraft Carriers,"

    BAM!!! did you guys see Bamz BITCH-SLAP that douche?

    • mille derps

      And ships that go underwater. Where all those US Americans' mortgages are.

  • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

    Governor, we also have fewer horses and bayonets.
    Zing! Pow! Bop!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Boff!

  • Barbara_

    Horses and bayonets. Drink!

  • IndianaKevin

    In this battle of wits, Rmoney is ill-equipped.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Unarmed, actually.

  • courtneyesq

    Hey, Mitt, your inconspicuous (and not at all planned) OSU Buckeye tie could stand to be tightened a bit…

  • mavenmaven

    Doctor Zoom won't like Obama's attack on ponies…

    • AlterNewt

      Not one bit.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        zat you dok?

    • Terry

      Neither with Ann Romney

  • NellCote71

    When I was governor. . . Drink.
    When I led the Olympics. . . Drink.
    I was in business for 25 years. . . Drink.
    And the fucking schools in Massachusetts. What does that have to do with anything?

  • chascates

    Running the government is just like running a business in the same way that raising a child is like raising a pony (for Dr. Zoom).

    • bikerlaureate

      Should we be concerned about Kid Zoom yet? He sounds pretty 'together'.

  • Mittaplasia

    Mitt's interwebs is broken.

  • mayor_quimby

    Sank your aircraft carrier, asshole!
    Tat was very deft

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    Mittens is getting spanked. But I can't help but wonder….how are the pundits going to spin this?

    • Terry

      Mitt is being taken to school, too

  • mille derps

    Obama doesn't think Rafalca needs to join the cavalry with some guy on her back carrying a bayonet. Times change, Mittens!

    • miss_grundy

      No, I don't want to see Rafalca as the War Horse!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    An attack on gefilte fish is an attack on Israel.

  • coolhandnuke

    Bamz just sunk Mitt's yacht with that Battleship reference.

  • lulzmonger

    Drudge Bulletin:

    OBAMA = WEAK ON AMERICA'S BAYONET GAP.

    • Close_Read

      Needs moar trench warfare!

    • NellCote71

      And buggy wheels, too.

  • JadedPreppy

    Who sunk my Battleship?

  • Negropolis

    Horses and bayonets will be the knockout punch, won't it?

    • littlebigdaddy

      This sounds weirder than binders full of women.

    • BlueStateLibel

      Yes.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      and it's a sweet sweet nerdy civil war enact-er takedown.

  • chascates

    Israel has their own damned nukes.

    • AlterNewt

      ..and beyonets!

    • Esteev

      But they have schmutz on them.

  • BarryOPotter

    Oh God! Barry just shot him down! Schooled on how the military works – "fewer bayonets!" BWahahahahaha!!!

  • Veritas78

    Well, that was the big Fuck You of the entire campaign. I need a cigarette. With my horses and bayonets.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Ask Mittens how many onions he has on his belt.

    • littlebigdaddy

      As was the custom of the day in which he wishes he lived. You know, when you could whip the servants and go hunting for pygmies.

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      From that look, it is skunks, not onions.

  • smashaduck

    I think the more important question is: Bagels- toasted or not? And why?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Answer: Israel.

    • redarmyzombie

      All of them, Katie.

    • miss_grundy

      Because I like my bagel crunchy with the butter collecting in the nooks and crannies…

    • Esteev

      Did you say jelly?

  • Wadisay

    Fewer horses and bayonets than 1916. Hahaha.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Bamz: "Dear World, if you cut Israel, we will cut a bitch."

  • StillGoinGreen

    Fuck the vow of silence, THAT SHIT WAS FUNNY!!!11!!1!

    Signed,

    Your Loving Audience

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Romney is half-armed in this battle of wits.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    This very week we'll be carrying out the largest joint military exercises with Israel in history. BAM! BAM!

  • Not_Mother

    Romney humming Bee Gees classic, "I think I'm going back to Massachusetts."

  • Come here a minute

    We need more muskets!!!!

  • sbj1964

    You don't throw rocks at angry young Jews with Uzi's.Stupid Arabs.

    • chascates

      And I believe they have pretty fine pilots.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Please bring up how not one Mitten's children have enlisted.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      can't and won't but i'd pay money for it.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …did I miss the annexation of Israel?!

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Where the heck have you been?

      welcome back.

    • Negropolis

      Yeah, it happened quite a few decades ago. lol It has more influence than the citizens of DC do and they're Americans. lol

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Barry is looking dominant now. With the sound off, he's wining the debate.

  • Tilley

    crowd laughs at Mittens. drink!

  • ProgressiveInga

    ",,,Horses and bayonets….try the liver, I'm here 'til Tuesday"

    • NellCote71

      My liver is very tried. and tired.

  • proudgrampa

    Mr. President is winning the Iran discussion, and Mitt hasn't even said a word yet.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Mitt is unhappy that Obama didn’t prevent the Arab Spring…

    Just got here and WAIT WHUT????

    • doloras

      Dey wuz OUR dictaturz, you see!

  • LibertyLover

    Does Dr. Zoom have enough sandwiches for everyone this time?

  • JackObin

    See what happens when you don't drink? This Romney is a raving lunatic.

  • FakaktaSouth

    I want to underscore the same thing the Pres just said, cause, honestly, I'm getting my ass kicked here and this seems to be the thing to say.

  • Tilley

    "well well I want to underscore what the president just said …" Mitt, fold up your hair and call it a night. You all done.

  • Negropolis

    Why the fuck should we have Israel's back "culturally?" WTF?

    • Tilley

      He doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.

    • Come here a minute

      Fiddler on the Roof was fantastic.

      • redarmyzombie

        "If I were a rich man…"

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          You know, that sort of sums up the Ryan "plan": if it works, tax revenue will rise … so you see, it will work.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Hey, Israeli psy-trance is pretty cool. http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=Z6hL6fkJ1_k&de

    • BerkeleyBear

      Maybe a callback to Mitt's claim that the Israeli's have a superior "culture" to the Palestinians – you know, Act III of Mitt's Amazing Foot in Mouth Show.

  • Callyson

    Premature military action would be a mistake

    I think Obama just might have taken the wind out of the sails of his Iran policy critics with that line. Nice!

    • miss_grundy

      Honestly, when it comes to men, you don't want premature anything…..

  • chascates

    That new guy in North Korea must be feeling so lonely and unhated right now.

    • dawgeral

      Mitt used to be like that. Now he's much more better.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    We are are standing culturally with Israel? Chopped liver for everyone?

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Yeah, what was that supposed to mean?
      Is it a bagel thing?

    • dawgeral

      Wait. How do they coax those gefiltes into the jar in the first place? I need a nap.

    • MosesInvests

      Falafel libel!

  • VinnyThePooh

    Mitt's voice crackling = Obama victory.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    If I am president — when I am president — i will stand with Israel And I will wear one of those long coats and the fringed scarf thing and the Homburg and everything.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      and the yamaha!

  • proudgrampa

    I am so proud of the President.

  • chascates

    Uh, a few European countries DO buy Iranian oil.

  • mavenmaven

    1. crippling sanctions
    2. tighter crippling sanctions
    3. I don't really have any idea over obama.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "I would dissuade Iran from acquiring nucular weapons through peaceful means" –Mittens. Right wingers' heads esploding all over the place.

  • LibertyLover

    Does Mitt count on his fingers? 5 steps, 7 steps… what about the 2 step?

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      one two cha cha cha.

  • SorosBot

    So on Iran, Mittens would do exactly what Obama is doing, only more of it.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      And with less melanin.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        bingo.

      • Gleem McShineys

        WIN-90X

    • MissTaken

      MOAR!

    • SorosBot

      Hey Obama just stole my joke again! (Only he said "louder" instead).

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      and whiter!

  • chascates

    Genocide by mouth?

  • VinnyThePooh

    Tell that to your people when gas is $5/gal.

  • Tilley

    "The genocide convention"? Is that anything like the Geneva convention?

  • sbj1964

    Crippling sanctions?Yes make their lives even more misrable.Way to win hearts,and minds.

  • coolhandnuke

    And I will have all Persian cats euthanized, they are a clear and present threat–Mitt

    • Tilley

      Mitt better keep his mitts off my Persian cat.

    • proudgrampa

      Best laugh I've had tonite!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Right after I kill all the birds.

    • MissTaken

      All Persian rugs will be confiscated

    • tessiee

      No casting aspersions at Persians!

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        You can't appease the Siamese!

        • Doktor Zoom

          If you please. (talk about racist!)

  • Veritas78

    Blahblahblah, crippling sanctions do work, I would tighten them, I would put them in place earlier, I WOULD DO EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING BUT BETTER!!!

    Honest, Dad, I would!! I'll be the best President ever!!!

  • biraweeyaz

    my facebook newsfeed is now being sullied with comments like "LIES! obama was recorded on tape saying he will always stand with muslims!!!!111" the stupidity/open bigotry of these people is astonishing.

  • TribecaMike

    The Repugs was all against them apartheid guys, yes indeedy.

  • gullywompr

    He just agreed to everything Obama said, right?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Oh good gravy — Mitt wants to treat Iran like a pariah — and then brings in "like we treated the diplomats from South Africa during apartheid." Um, Mitt — as a Republican, you would've supported the South African racist government, just as Ronald Reagan did.

    • Wadisay

      Dick Cheney refused to vote for a non-binding resolution of support for Nelson Mandala.

      • doloras

        English Young Conservatives wore HANG MANDELA T-shirts in the 80's.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Wow. I did not know that.

    • Crank_Tango

      Um, the real racists were the democrats, so you must be mistaken about Reagan.

  • Callyson

    South Africa? I suppose Mittens has forgotten how resistant Saint Ronnie was to the sanctions on that country. "Constructive engagement" was his idea…and it was a big fucking failure…

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    WTF just happened? Mitt just basically went into stammer-stutter mode and repeated everything Bamz said.

    • Tilley

      He's malfunctioning. Reboot!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        How about just BOOT? As in, right out of thp race?

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Military action is the last resort. But I would send missionaries to France unilaterally.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Careful, Mittens… you indict Ohmygodinjad for war crimes, he might want Cheney's scalp too

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      So might much of the rest of the world.

      • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

        indeed

  • Beowoof

    Politifact just rated that the 1917 Navy and 1947 Airforce are both smaller is a pants on fire lie. Facts, don't you just love them.

  • chascates

    I'm glad you came to your senses, Governor.

  • Veritas78

    And now, our real President will carefully discuss what might be underway right now between actual diplomats. Isn't it nice when adults are in charge?

  • Tilley

    the same thing we'd do but you'd say 'em louder. haw haw

  • Callyson

    "You'd do the same things we did but you'd say them louder"

    NICE!

    I am beginning to feel good about this debate…

  • Negropolis

    Speaking os Israeli culture, I want the president to bring up that Mitt said that the Palestinians are economic hard-off because their culture is inferior, even something Israel said wasn't helpful.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "You say it louder and somehow that makes a difference" -Bamz

    no he says it whiter and it makes a difference to some people.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      My daughter just told me that Bill Maher is tweeting just that.

  • chascates

    Blair Burke is the secret whatever!!!!!

  • C_R_Eature

    SANCTION THE CRIPPLES! GET BENT, TINY TIM!

  • FraAnima

    Mitt's flag pin is bigger than Barry's. Compensating for something?

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      but he defiled his flag pin.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Fifty real diamonds, prolly.

    • StillGoinGreen

      Needs moar whore diamonds!!

  • orygoon

    Mr. Goon, who is not a Sports Guy, thinks the Giants rout might be more interesting.

  • Come here a minute

    Now we know who had the zinger-writers working overtime for this debate.

  • mille derps

    Who's schooling Mitt?

  • TribecaMike

    I hope none of this effects the yumminess of halva.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Obama: "It's because we got everybody to agree" that the world imposed crippling sanctions on Iran. Oh, dear — you mean unilateral saber-rattling and empty rhetoric weren't enough? Have you even tried strutting around on an aircraft carrier?!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    I would eliminate the tax deduction for Persian rugs in corporate offices.

  • forgracie

    THE CLOCK IS TICKING FOLKS! The mutherfucking clock is ticking…

  • chascates

    Actually the Iranians were pretty crazy even back in the 1970s.

    • miss_grundy

      Did you see Argo???

  • Terry

    I've been on the phone with my WW2 veteran Dad cackling over horses and bayonets

  • chascates

    He was bowing!

  • snowpointsecret

    "Wow, he talked with people he disagrees with, how weak!"

    … Huh?

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Weakness? We need Mr. P90-X!

  • Tilley

    apology tour. Drink!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "apology tour"drink!

  • gullywompr

    Apology Tour!! Drink!

  • PugglesRule

    Apology tour?? I don't think so!!!

  • Callyson

    Is it me, or is Mittens' makeup job terrible? His face looks splotchy, and it looks like the makeup artist missed a spot on his left cheek…

    • MissNancyPriss

      it's sweating away. barry, on the other hand, looks great.

  • ProgressiveInga

    Kim Jung Il – "I'm so rone-ery!"

  • Beowoof

    Is Mitt trying to say talking with people before you kill them it is wrong?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Apparently.

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      pretty much

  • SorosBot

    Chavez, a democratically elected leader, is one of the world's worst actors and in the same league as Kim Jong Il? Really?

    • orygoon

      Nope.

  • FraAnima

    Apology tour. Drink!

  • Mittaplasia

    Mitt didn't do too well on his "no apologies" tour overseas.

    • Terry

      Mitt brought us one step closer to war with our arch nemesis, Great Britain.

  • C_R_Eature

    Fuck, Mitt, APOLOGY TOUR? AGAIN?

  • TribecaMike

    And pray tell, Mitt, when did Iran attack us or anyone else in the past four years?

  • AlterNewt

    Fox, et al are going to say that Mitt was hamstrung by the 'Politics stops at the waters edge" thing, which Mitt abandoned long ago, but that won't stop them.

  • SorosBot

    Apology Tour? Man, Mitt really is living in a world of right-wing talking points that have no connection whatsoever to reality.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Wow — Mitt brings up the whole "apology tour" bullshit. He's been getting too much advice from Sean Hannity. I'd've figured he'd have learned from the Benghazi smackdown, but no.

  • Not_Mother

    APOLOGY TOUR.!!!111!!

  • UW8316154

    Bammers death-stare caused Mittens lips to disappear.

    • dawgeral

      Those were lips?!

  • gullywompr

    Fucking centrifuges, how do they work?

    • VinnyThePooh

      They spin very fast, just like Willard.

      • chascates

        And with certain viruses both can become unbalanced.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Mittens: "Iranian moas"

    EMU LIBEL!!1!1

  • GuanoFaucet

    The only weakness here, Mitt, is your ability to mimic a real human.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Apology tour! Drink!

  • Goonemeritus

    Lying piece of SHIT!!!!!!

  • chascates

    Acceptable in the way that Bush rebuffed talks with North Korea and allowed them to create a nuclear bomb?

  • Negropolis

    The president just did the black guy head nod acknowledgement. Something is a-stirrin'…

  • Callyson

    "All of these things suggested, I think, to the Iranian mullahs"

    When you have no evidence, you talk about how you think a bunch of irrelevant things affected people…

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    here is where bamz should drop some actual POTUS 'spinning centrifuges' numbers

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    "APOLOGY TOUR"??? That's it, I'm chugging the whole fucking bottle now!

  • sbj1964

    I'm a hawk.No a dove.No a hawk?Mittens just pick a side!

    • mille derps

      I'll just do what Bibi & Adelson tell me to do. Oh, and Lech Walesa because Poland.

  • Powerpuff_Grl

    I get that some people didn't like the interruptions/overtalk from the last debate, but Barack needs to call Mitt on the carpet every now and then because his lies are flying fast & furiously.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    The sanctions need to be the tightest, wettest, hottest sanctions ever.

    • littlebigdaddy

      And barely legal!

  • Callyson

    YES!!! Obama is fighting back against that apology tour crap!

  • PugglesRule

    NOthing Governor Romney said is true! Apology tour is the biggest whopper told in this campaign! YES!! Smack back, Big O!

  • Beowoof

    Does Mitt know you can't go all CEO in diplomacy. And Barry called him on telling Willard's Whoppers.

  • Jerri

    Make the sanctions as tight as the undies wedged up my Mormon ass!

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      Diamond undies!

      • Jerri

        The crazy thing is they started as coal undies. True story!

  • Veritas78

    I really want Barack to stick him with some pins. Go get him on the "Apology Tour!" Needle him.

  • orygoon

    That fictional Apology Tour.

    Mitt, you are a bad person.

  • DCBloom

    Barry, just cold called him a liar. Weak my ass

  • Biff

    WHOPPER!!1!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Obama: "Bob, let me just respond — nothing the governor has said was true." The campaign in a nutshell.

  • C_R_Eature

    "Nothing Governor Romney Said is True." You can take that to the bank.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Make the sanctions even cripplinger!

    • mille derps

      Yell at Iran louder!

    • dawgeral

      Have more cripple-osity!

  • Tilley

    "Bob, let me please respond. Nothing he just said is true."

    China! Drink!

  • Negropolis

    I knew it. I knew he had something on Mitt.

  • Pat_Pending

    SLAP THAT PRICK, BARRY!!!

  • chascates

    Hell, we allowed thousands of people in Iraq to die due to our sanctions and it didn't accomplish diddly. Other than diddly death.

  • SorosBot

    Obama mentions that Mitt did business with China and Iran; ha ha.

  • Veritas78

    "You were invested in Iran while I was imposing crippling sanctions—OUCH!"

  • Callyson

    Oooooooooooh, business with Iranian oil…good, Mr President!

    I am really starting to feel OK now…

  • sbj1964

    The torture will not stop until the world loves us.Really Mitt?

  • C_R_Eature

    OOOOHHH Mitt. Doing business with the Chinese AND the Iranians?

    FOR SHAME!

  • TribecaMike

    Will Mitt give that dreamy eyed look to Putin too?

  • NellCote71

    Sweetest words in the world: "what Governor Romney says simply is not true."

  • JadedPreppy

    Was he hypnotized with talking points?

    • Tilley

      perhaps blinded with science?

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Oh, OW! Bams just laid Mitt's Chinese investment and Iranian trading POWSOCKWHAM right on Mitt.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    "Nothing he said is true."
    Mittens is the mop and the bucket.

  • Jerri

    Don't cry, Mitt. Swallow those tears and tighten that jaw.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Damn — Obama should just walk around wearing Mitt Romney's skin for the next two weeks.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Four years closer– A Romney presidency will stop time! I mean that literally.

  • Negropolis

    Iran has been getting nukes "next year" since the fuckin' 80's.

    Romney: The boy who cried nukes.

  • viennawoods13

    ZING!! Take that, fucker!!

  • Jerri

    By the way, fuck off Mitt?

  • C_R_Eature

    You want to talk about wasted years, Mitt? Let's talk about 2001 – 2008. Asshole.

  • proudgrampa

    Fucking apology tour?????? Jeez.

    What the fuck is Mitt on?

  • chascates

    America has dictated to other nations since the Spanish American war, you dolt.

  • miss_grundy

    Here goes Mittens with the stupid, we're four year closer…did he say Iraq?

  • Tilley

    We're 4 years closer to a nukeular Iran.

    Yes and we're all 4 years closer to death, Romnulent.

    "We have freed other nations from dictators."
    Who's WE, motherfucker?

  • Callyson

    FFS, again with this "we're four years closer to a nuclear Iran." Asshole, the fact that four years has passed =/= proof that Iran has made four years of *progress* on its nuclear program…logic fail…

  • SorosBot

    And Mittens is going all-in on this apology tour bullshit; what a dick.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    owowwowowowowowowowoo

    he was waiting. just fucking waiting.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      I think he's drooling. (Not really.)

  • StillGoinGreen

    Barry has pulled out the Black Mamba and smacked him in the face tonight!

  • Close_Read

    Mitt should talk about his trip this summer and what those furriner leaders thought of him.

  • Negropolis

    I didn't take donors.

    OUCH!

    • miss_grundy

      Yes!!!!!!!

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    We didn't dictate to other nations… We told them what to do. Totes different

  • Terry

    Obama didn't take donors to Israel. Buuuuurn, Mitt

  • Veritas78

    Ahhh, ouch, ouch, ouch. Oh, ouch. Ahh. Smack. Completely in control. This is it.

  • sbj1964

    How dare you talk to people without a visit to Israel.

  • Powerpuff_Grl

    And you, MItt, when you went to Israel, you pissed off a lot of people -both Israelis and Palestinians – with your "culture" comments.

    • miss_grundy

      Besides pissing off the Brits, Olympic athletes and everyone else on that trip.

      • SorosBot

        You forgot Poland!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Listen: He started off by scheduling a fundraising dinner on Tisha B'av. Tisha B'av is a solemn day of fasting and mourning in memory of the destruction of Solomon's Temple.

      Needless to say, he was forced to reschedule at the last moment. He then forgot to invite the leader of the Israeli opposition to the talks he was having with Bibi. Big booboo. They were pretty pissed about it. The Palestinian/Israeli culture comments were just the cherry on Mitt's Fucking Cake of Fail.

  • smashaduck

    The reason I call it an Apology Tour is because Fox News tested different phrases and this made the fucking corn-syrup fed teatards blood boil the most.

    • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

      I laughed out loud at this. Thank you, Duck.

  • redarmyzombie

    Okay, both of you, the best way to dissuade Iran from acquiring nuclear weapons is to assure them that they will NOT be ATTACKED!!!!! It's NOT that FUCKING HARD!!!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Visit the troops! Mitt sez "what troops?"

  • VinnyThePooh

    I was in the shit. What the fuck did you do, boy-eee?

  • chascates

    I didn't go to France to bug the shit out of people in their own homes.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Last I checked, they were still drinking wine. Mitt fail.

  • AlterNewt

    "Indict Ahmadinejad". Mitt is a god damned tool of the U.N. 'one world' commie takeover.

  • VodkaGoGo

    Obama seriosly wants to smack the shit out of Mitt right now.

    • Tilley

      who doesn't?!

    • viennawoods13

      And he is SO doing it!

    • orygoon

      Don't you?

      • VodkaGoGo

        I dont want to discuss hypotheticals.

  • NellCote71

    Romney you are soooo fucked. Israel. Bam. Troops. Bam.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I want to hear a world police reference.
    Fuck yeah!

  • Callyson

    NICE line on those fundraisers abroad, Mr President!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    yeah rebecca – shout out to hillz way due.

  • gullywompr

    OK, this is starting to get embarrassing.

  • proudgrampa

    Presidential travelogue. Wow. Well done!

  • Veritas78

    Who's going to be credible to all parties? This is impressive. On the right side of history.

  • Negropolis

    Barry just looked into Mitt's eyes and deconstructed him. It's over, baby.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    In my perhaps slightly inebriated state, I keep picturing Mitt is wishing to get to Barry's hair with a pair of scissors, implausible as that sounds. And Obama is wishing to get a beer in front of Mittens, implausible as that sounds.

    • PugglesRule

      Funny (or not), I thought that's what Tagg wanted to do after the 2nd debate.

    • miss_grundy

      No, how about a nice single malt scotch and a cigarette. And make sure to blow the smoke at his face….

  • Jerri

    Mitt please do tell, is the inside of that woodshed tastefully decorated or can't you see it through the wincing?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Tagg Romney is right now kissing his knuckles and whispering "Soon, soon."

    • Negropolis

      SNL opening skit libel!

    • Terry

      He'd be just as effective as his father

  • viennawoods13

    Oh. My. God. He is schooling Mitt but good.

  • chascates

    What are our California overlords, Becca and Blair, drinking tonight, hmmmmm?

  • C_R_Eature

    I do believe that Barry has deployed the Big Sandbag on Mitt's head over this Israel trip.

    He had a nice set up. Thanks Mitt!

  • Not_Mother

    "Yad v'shem!" Drink!

  • VeraSevera

    "Nothing Governor Romney has said is true." Thank you!

    OMG Mittens stop smiling like that! Gawd that's creepy. Please don't tell me that's what undecided independent suburban heterosexual white woman want!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Oooh! Bamz just pointed out his credibility. Vs. the liar's.

  • Biff

    WHAT IS THAT SURVEYOR'S MARK ON MITTEN'S FLAG PIN?!?!
    Never mind, found it…

  • SorosBot

    NOW Mitt is against hypotheticals? Really?

  • snowpointsecret

    Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran.

    Hi McCain I didn't know you were running again!

  • chascates

    You have to go into hypotheticals. That's what you do in a debate like this.

  • lulzmonger

    POTUS laying some ruination into a bot.

    FUCK YES! Go on, man, bring up his death-squad money too!
    *chomps imaginary popcorn*

    The Willard Pearlclutch = "America has not dictated to nations!"

    NEEDS MOAR LAFFTRACK.

  • Mittaplasia

    He doesn't like the question, so he doesn't have to answer? WTF?

  • forgracie

    No hypotheticals!

  • VinnyThePooh

    "I don't take calls at 3:00 A.M."

    • PugglesRule

      Romney said that???

    • NellCote71

      But my butler will, and will relay the message to me in hushed tones in quiet rooms.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Obama we stand on the fucking right side of fucking history.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Now THAT's worth drinking to.

  • sudsmckenzie

    bomb Iran?, this is good news for John McCain!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      not to mention the Beach Boys bcz royalties?

  • Callyson

    "Let's not get into hypotheticals" = let's not discuss actual policies instead of talking points.

    • NellCote71

      IT didn't program him for hypotheticals.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Is Mitt a stuttering wreck? I think Bamz just won this.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      for sure he is on the radio.

  • Veritas78

    Romney is a stuttering mess.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      HA! You thought so too.

  • chascates

    Yes, the Middle East was a paradise before Barry was elected.

    • Esteev

      PANGEA LIBEL

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Let's not go into hypotheticals. Because I don't know the answer.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Bibi has me on speeddial!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • gullywompr

    Go ahead and call Obama a muslin, Mitt, you know you want to.

    • zumpie

      I think Mitty would like to call him an "N-word" Muslin. And I'm quite sure that;s what he and Marie-Ann call the POTUS in private

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Nethanyahu has been my BFF so he wouldn't diss me!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    " I see trees of green, red roses too"

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      It's a wonderful day …

  • Terry

    Oh yes, Mitt's good friend Bebe, who barely remembers him from back when they worked together.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Mitt is starting to crash!

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      which means we can look forward to more meltdowns next week right? that seems to be the pattern – he starts getting frail and then it gets worse.

      • AlterNewt

        *rubbing hands together with cartoonish glee*

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    "9:56 Oh, c’mon, Barry. Not just, “Nothing he’s said is true,” but “Everything he’s said is a LIE”"

    POTUS can't say that, it makes Mittbot Jr. madz.

  • chascates

    He's been in office 4 years and he hasn't invaded a single country!

  • TribecaMike

    The 1960 is strong with this one.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Mitt sees Jehadist.
    This explains much.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Gee, I wonder who is responsible for a trade deficit with China, Mitt?

  • coolhandnuke

    Let's not do hypotheticals Bob, let's look to the future and all the possibilities"–Mitt

  • snowpointsecret

    Why should we be influencing every country in the world, exactly?

  • VeraSevera

    OMG the Holocaust! Go Prez!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i can't drink every time mitt romney says 'economy'.

  • chascates

    AIPAC doesn't run our foreign policy. Or shouldn't.

  • Veritas78

    Done.

  • VodkaGoGo

    So what, Bibi would send Romney a card first?

    • NellCote71

      Engraved calling card. Followed by a telex.

  • Callyson

    "I don't see our influence growing around the world…I see it receding"

    Funny, every international poll shows that America's standing in the world has increased since Obama took office…

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Is it me, or doesn't Mitt look like he has a foreign object up his ass?

    • Esteev

      The battery shifted in flight.

    • Gleem McShineys

      I think it is pretty clear, it's his head.

  • Biff

    DEMOCRAT SENATORS!

    FUCK YOU, MITTENS

  • chascates

    BTW, Governor, do you own a home in Israel?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Just a stable and a car elevator.

    • TribecaMike

      Way too many wineries in Israel.

      • chascates

        And that tasty Sabra liqueur.

      • MosesInvests

        And Israelis *live* on strong coffee.

  • SorosBot

    Congratulations, Mitt; you just used the word "Israel" for the 1,000,000th time in fifteen minutes!! You win the prize.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    "Democrat Senators"

    Altogether now, loud enough so that they can hear: FUCK YOU. And if you DARE to call Romnesia infantile when you can't even use proper English just to piss us off, I will CUT you.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Don't forget to yell "Diu ne lo mo!" into his ears right before finishing him.

  • Wadisay

    The "4 years closer to a bomb" line, that Mitt uses over and over, assumes that Iran ever will get a bomb. I'm 4 years closer to my next enema, too.

    • JustPixelz

      The Vatican is also four years closer to a nuclear bomb.

      </snark>
      When Dubya took office, North Korea did not have a nuclear weapon. They restarted it after we invaded Iraq without provocation. In 2006 they tested a bomb. Dubya did nothing to stop them. His weakness encouraged Iran.

  • http://yunoletmehavecoolwebnameblogspot.blogspot.com/ Jennyjen798

    Of course you see the world receding from"us" Mitt, you keep showing up and opening your damn stupid mouth!

  • FakaktaSouth

    Democrat Senators called you and begged you to do that Democrat Democratness. I do not know how to say Democratic, but I will totally be an effective President.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Also, I use infantile word games to piss off the people that I've been claiming I will be reaching out to, and working with.

  • Terry

    Mitt Romney isn't even on a nodding acquaintance with the truth

  • AlterNewt

    Oh, for christ's sake! Who's BFFs with Bibi? How far we have sunk.

    • Esteev

      If Mormons could do blowies, Mitt would. But there's other stuff they can do. ;)

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    Mittens looks nauseous. Like sweaty meat sweats nauseous.

  • memzilla

    I hear Mittbot and I want to go all Joe WIlson "YOU LIE!" on him, the sanctimonious f**kwad. So should oBAM!a.

  • gullywompr

    Flip flop, flip flop!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Who the fuck rattled Mitt's cage?

    Oh, yeah DA BAMZ!!

  • GuanoFaucet

    Mitt will answer neither hypothetical nor concrete questions.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Now you're for it, but then, it depends. Bamz is skewering the fucker on his twisty lies.

  • Tilley

    "Governor, the problem is that, on a whole range of issues, you are a festering sack of boiled maggots and termite turds."

  • gullywompr

    My earth just moved. It was heaven.

  • Veritas78

    Now, it's time to clean up. Let's talk about bin Laden.

  • Callyson

    "I'm pleased that you are now endorsing our policy"

    GO OBAMA!

    Now I am starting to feel good. Wish I had seen this coming earlier today when I was having that anxiety attack…

  • SorosBot

    Ha ha Mitt said he wouldn't have gone after bin Laden in 2008!

  • VinnyThePooh

    In simpler terms – you're full of shit, governor.

  • viennawoods13

    Oh that stupid "Democrat" shit. What the fuck do they think that they are proving?

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      That the canard about working across the aisle is just another line of bullshit. My fantasy Obama response: Governor, you may not be aware that Democrats find that misuse of the adjective offensive. If you're serious about reaching across the aisle, you should stop using it.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      that we're touchy. just keep saying 'republicant".

      • viennawoods13

        Republicunt has a nice ring to it too.

  • Come here a minute

    By the way, may I please mention that I killed Osama bin Fucking Laden.

  • C_R_Eature

    After WE Killed Bin Laden, Mitt. Eat it.

  • FakaktaSouth

    PAHkistan Pahkistan, we came up in there and fucked that shit all up, in Pahkistan. now i am drunk.

    • Come here a minute

      Who are these kids saying that you're supposed to wait for somebody to say a certain thing to drink anyway?

    • Tilley

      I wish I were.

    • prommie

      Its time to smoke!

  • Negropolis

    9/11, Israel, horses and bayonets, and a cherry on top.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    Barry plays the 911 card. A dove farts. The ghost of Guiliani rattles its chains.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      A haiku?

      • No_Wire_Hangers

        it's the merlot is talking

    • Esteev

      Beautiful.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Obama fucking killed Voldemort. Electoramus!

    • No_Wire_Hangers

      you nerd.
      thumbs up.

    • BarryOPotter

      Brilliant!

    • Close_Read

      COTD

  • Matthius_Phelan

    "CRIPPLING" is the grossest adjective for sanctions in this debate. What a nightmare to know that the Nation's best paid campaign statisticians recommended it. Is we be monsters up in this piece?

  • orygoon

    Mr. Goon is drinking heavily, but I am remaining clear -headed, just in case.

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      Are you drinking Pinot Noir?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I love it. Obama has shoved Mitt's words right up his ass again and again tonight, right back where they came from.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    PEYTON!!!!!

  • Callyson

    Aw, the story about the kid whose dad died on 9.11 is touching…and it is just the kind of thing that can move mushy middle undecideds…

  • Veritas78

    Well, I've got closure. But 25 minutes to go. Hmm…

  • forgracie

    Kill Bin laden again, and again, and again! We're doing this for you Peyton.

  • Close_Read

    Bamz so alpha

    • NellCote71

      He is so going to get laid tonight.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        I bet he gets laid every night.

  • PugglesRule

    And a personal anecdote about Bin Laden's death bringing closure. No way Mittens can compete with that.

  • sbj1964

    No world leader could trust Mittens words,because he would later tell them he was never for that even if you had video of him saying he was.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "My current vice-president" Hillz VP in 2013!

  • proudgrampa

    I GOT OSAMA BIN LADEN!

    • AlterNewt

      Drink!

      • proudgrampa

        Oh, son. I am SO way ahead of you!

        But thanks for the reminder!

        • AlterNewt

          Good man.

    • Esteev

      Who?

  • Callyson

    Mittens cannot STAND not getting the last word all the time…good for the moderator for telling him to STFU.

  • Mittaplasia

    Who's the moderator? Jesus effing Christ; c'mon!

  • VeraSevera

    38 "Democrat" senators…wtf

    • No_Wire_Hangers

      they (the repubs) like "democrat" b/c focus groups report that that is a more hated term for our kind. true story.

      • Crank_Tango

        I like to say "republicunt" and very gently pronounce the T.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    Schieffer cracks the whip.

    • Powerpuff_Grl

      It's about damn time, particularly given that he lost track before and let Mittens respond first to a question two times in a row.

  • C_R_Eature

    Someone correct me if I'm wrong- but I think that Iran is signatory to the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty and can, legally, synthesize and stockpile Uranium isotopes for medical and nuclear power reasons.

    Is there any real indication – or proof – that Iran is attempting to construct nuclear weapons?

    • doloras

      The proof is that they're unfriendly to the United States. Same proof that Hugo Chavez, who just won an election by 10 percentage points, is a dictator and a thug.

      • C_R_Eature

        Thanks for clearing that up.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      i think there is no hard evidence but enough conjecture to be worrying. there are conflicting assessments of how far away iran is, but it's not a mirage. and also there's enough risk (as in syria) that it's pretty hard to know what reasonable deterrent action we can take.

      (this is what a left brained actress type takes from regularly reading the economist).

      • C_R_Eature

        I think that 's a pretty concise and accurate summation of the international communities' problems with Iran's nuclear programs. You probably know more about this than Mitt Romney!

        What I'd like to know is: How much bomb-grade enriched Uranium have they produced, how much power grade Uranium have they produced and how much are they allowed as per International treaty. No one seems to be talking – or writing – about this.

        • Blueb4sinrise

          Blogs did.
          Can't remember …waaaaaaaaaaaa…Juan Cole probably.

          • C_R_Eature

            Yeah, that sounds like Juan Cole. Steve Clemons or Danger Room, maybe too. Have to look it up.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      To the best of my knowledge, even the Israeli intelligence ppl are saying there is no concrete evidence that Iran is trying to create weapons. Iran claims the uranium they are enriching is entirely for power (which makes me wonder why WE continue to look to OIL for power). I think Juan Cole might be a good source here.

  • GuanoFaucet

    Mitt even laughs like a privileged asshole.

  • Negropolis

    Bob pulls a Candy Crowley and spins right into a Martha Radditz. Good on ya', Bob.

    • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

      Bob is doing "The Madison Time" with a big Jackie Gleason…

  • Tilley

    Hey MItt, don't tell BOB SCHIEFFER WHAT HE CAN AND CAN'T DO! Mittster dissolves into obsequiousness.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Heh, heh, heh.
      Feeling foolish, Mitt?

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Hahaha your icon is teh BEST!

        • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

          It's special to celebrate the election!

  • mavenmaven

    You can already predict Fox News' attack on the moderator now!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Good work Bob Schieffer. He just pushed back against Mitt, leading to the famous "Eh-he-he-he-he-he" nasal and tentative horselaugh.

    • NellCote71

      Great description.

  • chascates

    And how many more Americans will have to die each week in Afghanistan to make you feel like a big man, Governor?

  • redarmyzombie

    Oh god, Willard is getting CREAMED tonight! O.o

    I…I…I almost feel sorry for him…

  • Come here a minute

    What about the trebuchet gap?

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      Ohhh, I love that font!

    • Crank_Tango

      Boiling oil libel!

    • finallyhappy

      got them in Delaware for Pumpkin chunking- call Papa Joe

  • orygoon

    Moderator moderates! Lovely.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Is Mittens saying that Obama is right?

  • Veritas78

    "I'll do what he's doing." But not like Harry and Sally.

  • C_R_Eature

    "When I'm President" = The Most Ugly Phrase in the English Language today.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Romney looks SO WEAK!

  • chascates

    BTW, how many Mormon missionaries are in Afghanistan, Pakistan, or even Iran?

    • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

      They don't go to dangerous places… The mission is how they avoid danger.

    • Tilley

      Not nearly enough.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      NONE of them, Katie.

  • gullywompr

    He doesn't remember the question.

    • AlterNewt

      He doesn't care.

  • Wadisay

    Barry "…including my currrent Vice President…"

    Good lord, what does Barry mean by that??!! I do not refer to my spouse as "my current wife," in her presence, anyway.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    OK, is it just me, or is Romney competely lost?

    • MissNancyPriss

      He's babbling.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Yes. He's a stammering, stuttering, word-salading MESS.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      I really, really hope so.

    • C_R_Eature

      Maybe actually read the foreign policy briefings next time?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        He doesn't even know that Iran has a coastline? WTF is up with THAT? He came to the debate prepared to beat shit out of Barry over Iran and he doesn't even know its geography.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      i can't see him, but he sounds like he's getting killed.

      and he's awfully passive.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I keep expecting Bob to ask "What if your wife had been raped and murdered, would you support the death penalty then?"

    [this one may be for teh oldz like me]

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Bob: "What would you do if 2014 arrives and it is obvious [Afghanistan] is not ready to handle its own security."

    Who's gonna say let's just get the fuck out?

  • Terry

    Mitt supports Obama drawdown schedule for Afghanistan? When did he change his mind? Has he told Ryan?

  • IndianaKevin

    Rmoney: I have a 5-point plan.
    1. Yes.
    2. No.
    3. Yes.
    4. No.
    5. Wait, what?

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      This is the most insightful commentary on the plan that I have read.

  • Mittaplasia

    Moar bombs!

  • Not_Mother

    Barry very effective story of killing UBL and 911 victim getting closure.

  • Negropolis

    Mitt, it's the UK for future reference.

  • VinnyThePooh

    In the relatively near future?

  • Mittens Howell, III

    No, Mitt. When you get your ass handed to you on a platter you can't ask the Maitre d' for a new one.

    • dawgeral

      Corn fed?

  • TribecaMike

    Too many hypotheticals, Bob. Be here now.

  • GuanoFaucet

    Pakistan has more nuclear weapons than Great Britain in 1917.

  • VeraSevera

    4 year old WTC orphan. Boom!

  • Beowoof

    Mitt must only be getting Fox News updates on Iran's path to the sea.

    • Terry

      Mitt and Fox get their talking points from the same source

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Their rear ends?

  • mayor_quimby

    Mittens just said we already are doing what we need to in Afghanistan.
    Then he leaked some info about how many nukes the UK has, oops.

  • Callyson

    "They'll have more nuclear weapons than Great Britain sometime…um, in the near future"

    In other words, Romney has no idea when and is pulling this out of a hat…

  • coolhandnuke

    'Sometime in the relatively near future"–Mitt
    Dept of Redundancy Dept winner

  • VodkaGoGo

    Hey! Our undeclared war in Pakistan is a sekrit! You're tipping off are enemies!!!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Mitt: "And they also have the Haqqani Network and the Taliban." Mitt's Dubya-esque overemphasis on foreign words is a bit disconcertingly reminiscent of Dubya. I mean, is that a sign of some sort of mental illness?

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Does he want a cookie for using a big-boy word?
      Makes me also think of Dubya.

    • No_Wire_Hangers

      The code for Mittens linguistics program is written in English.

  • chascates

    Once we got rid of Cheney, Rummy, and Drunkie Boy.

  • C_R_Eature

    I'm sorry, but I didn't understand one fucking thing Mitt just said about the AF-Pak theater. And I'm not at all drunk.

    • MissTaken

      Pak is important. With aid, conditions, Afghanistan. Ready.

      What's confusing about that?!?

      • NellCote71

        Israel. Bebe. Too. Also.

      • C_R_Eature

        The problem then, is that I'm not drunk or Republican enough.

    • Terry

      Word salad, that's what it was

  • gullywompr

    9/11! Drink!

  • memzilla

    Garçon! Another bag of lightly salted poison rat dicks for the white guy, s'il vous plaît, and don't forget the Lyin'-aise sauce.

  • VeraSevera

    Please g*d…give Mittens a stroke or heart attack…right now.

    • Terry

      Drive him to drink. Maybe a nice Irish coffee.

    • IndianaKevin

      With votes.

    • Theywontlisten

      g is thinking about i'm sure i know cause he just told me so pillow talk

  • chascates

    They can die for their own shithole of a country.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Remember Nixon? Changing the colour of the corpses.

      • chascates

        The Domino Theory applies to terrorists as well as Commies.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    "pulling out responsibly" is also Mitts health plan.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I thought it was his birth control plan.

  • rickmaci

    "With all due respect governor, you laid out quite a douche of stupid ideas."

    The right wing blogosphere just went thermonuclear.

  • C_R_Eature

    "Pull Out Responsibly" That's sound advice.

    • Powerpuff_Grl

      When in doubt, I always recommend pulling out, even if it is a bit messy.

    • Come here a minute

      Doesn't work.

      • NellCote71

        Ergo, my son.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Let's build us a nation, how about it?

  • Come here a minute

    "No reason Americans should die, when Afghans are perfectly capable of dying by the hundreds."

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      The only jobs Romney won't outsource.

  • PugglesRule

    "It's time to do some nation-building here at home. And we can do something for our veterans, make sure they're getting the care they need when it comes to PTSD and traumatic brain injuries." SNAP!!!

  • chascates

    How many trillions are we willing to spend to try to kill an illiterate wearing sandals?

  • Beowoof

    Free up resources, jobs for Veterans, build roads, schools, take care of Veterans. All things Rmoney would say screw it for tax cuts.

  • Callyson

    Time to do some nation building at home…put Americans back to work

    NICE way to connect ending the war with rebuilding the economy. OK, I think Obama is winning…praise Jesus…

  • Nopantsmcgee

    OK, I just saw Rmoney ask for more time, Bob told him he was wrong, that he didn't get more time, and then Rmoney just changed his mind and agreed.

    Of course, that probably isn't the fastest flip-flop in his career. Still, impressive.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Minnesota !
    Drink Leinies!

  • TribecaMike

    China coming up. I love it when Mitt does his"ching chong hong kong" voice.

  • forgracie

    Minnesota? Is that A swing state?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "First Lady" drink!

  • Veritas78

    Definitely time for a smooth glide path in. I know who's got my back.

  • Trannysurprise

    Posters at the Wapo have decided Mittens is having a fucking stroke, or shitting his pants – there's not total agreement.

  • VinnyThePooh

    PTSD. That sickness of freeloading veterans as the GOTP sees it.

  • Blendergoathead

    Sort of half-ass paying attention to this, but what I'm going to take away from this is that Romney is running for president of Israel. Also.

    • NellCote71

      Oh, please. Let them have him.

    • MosesInvests

      DO. NOT. WANT.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    What?! Veterans' unemployment is lower than the general population's right now? I'm just surprised — the last I had heard it had been abysmal.

  • VeraSevera

    Is he having a stroke? It looks like he's having a stroke.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Obama's Bin Laden?

  • Jerri

    Obama bin laden? Really bob?

  • orygoon

    Cool. The Spare is in medic training. In that poor shipless Navy of ours.

    • NellCote71

      Good on him.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "Obama bin Laden"

    go to bed old man!

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Obama Bin Laden????????????

  • Biff

    Obama bin Ladin! Drink!

  • Negropolis

    Did Bob accidentally just do that thing when some people call Osama Obama?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Yup, and he covered it quick and beautiful by going uh, uh, bin Laden.

  • Tilley

    Pakistan has 100 nuclear weapons?

    • Terry

      And soon, many more, I understand

    • Negropolis

      They have plenty, that's for sure.

  • chascates

    Christ, Pakistan is a ticking bomb! The ISI is crooked as a dog's hind leg.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Crookeder.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    A nation that has terrorist groups in its nation says Mitt. WTF?

  • memzilla

    Mitt wants to Ghey Marry Pakistan! Wait… what?

  • Callyson

    Divorce Pakistan? WTF? When the hell did we ever marry it?

    Mostly the moderator is doing a good job, but this was an r-worded metaphor…

    • Gleem McShineys

      "Bob, I am in favor of keeping all of our wives."

      DOH

  • Not_Mother

    Schiefer says "Obama bin Laden." Fucking liberal media.

  • rickmaci

    Not doing too bad for a Kenyan.

  • chascates

    With allies like Pakistan . . .

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Did Bob The Mummy just fucking say "Obama Bin Laden"???

    • DCBloom

      And I was so proud of grampa up until now….

  • UW8316154

    " A nation on earth"???

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      As opposed to on Kolob I suppose.

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    IF it becomes a failed state? Sweet understanding of the region, Mittens!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Pakistan has been the demo case of a failed state for DECADES now. Geeze.

  • FakaktaSouth

    No, it is not time to divorce Pakistan, we're gonna wait for it to die a failed state and then baptize it Mormonic. For Missouri Jesus.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      See? YOU know what's going on. Why doesn't that useless behenchud jhatarbara haramzada?

      • prommie

        Fuck yeah!

    • bikerlaureate

      Otherwise it won't go to nation Heaven – it has to be called out of the grave by its hubby.

  • TribecaMike

    Damn terrorist hand grabbers!!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Bob: Is it time to divorce Pakistan?

    Mitt: No, you don't divorce Lorena Bobbit. She's got a hundred nukes.

    Uh…

  • Negropolis

    "I don't blame the administration…" Oh god, the things this man has been forced to admit, tonight.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      It's been fun, hasn't it?

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    "It's not tine to divorce Pakinstan, but rather to begin a seedy affair, most likely with India"

    • Terry

      We'd be getting Russia's sloppy seconds. No thanks.

  • chascates

    We'll be 'nation building' in Pakistan? Oh, the Indians will LOVE that!

  • Madameknew

    Did Bobby just say Obama bin Ladin???? Yes he did

    • sudsmckenzie

      He is now worse than Candy Crowley plus Hitler!!12

    • finallyhappy

      Proof that they were brothers and Fratracide!

  • Veritas78

    There is nothing Mitt can add at this point. I'm glad you realize that Pakistan is dangerous. Thanks for playing. Time to plug Wikipedia?

  • VinnyThePooh

    Mitt wants Free Bazaars in Pakistan to create jawbs.

  • Tilley

    Oh Mitt for fuck's sake you don't know what the fuck you are saying just shut the fuck up already.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I think Mitt's hair is melting.

  • UW8316154

    Death stare versus Blinky Blinkerton

  • VeraSevera

    Mittens looks sleepy.

    Is there something different about this broadcast that's making me hate Mittens more than I ever have before?

    • Biff

      I think it's just the cumulative effect.

    • Terry

      It's the third debate. Familiarity breeds contempt.

    • MissTaken

      They are sitting next to each other, so when Mitt gives Barry the stink eye it's about 18 inches from Barry's handsome head making it very clear that Mitt's a dick.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      I don't know why I was deleted.
      I was just telling you that he reminds me of W tonight.
      Big boy words and beady eyes.

      • SorosBot

        Shoes?

  • AlterNewt

    We have friends visiting from the U.K. tomorrow. I will steer the conversation away from this embarrassing spectacle, and ask them about future P.M. Ed Balls, because that is some funny shit, right there.

    • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

      His brother Harold gets a laugh from it as well.

    • C_R_Eature

      Now, why can't we have a politician named BALLS? We have to get by with Boehner.

      • AlterNewt

        His turn won't come for a few years, but I want to see Chris Wallace look into the camera and say "Ed Balls".

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        I thought there was a guy from the Denver area named Balls, maybe something at the airport named after him?

        • C_R_Eature

          Lloyd Balls. I remember that! I think they wimped out & didn't name the airport after him after all.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      can i just say, we would be lucky to have ed balls in our opposition?

      (sorry, again not funny).

      • AlterNewt

        And Miliband.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Pakistan a civil society? Have you ever had lunch with one?

  • VodkaGoGo

    "They're not acting much like our allies right now."

    Maybe stop blowing up their weddings?

    • AlterNewt

      Pacifist!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Did that moron Mitt just start babbling about Pashtuns? WTF is he talking about, he is SO full of shit. Jhata mar, juta mar! Behen chud, haramzada.

    • Terry

      He needs to protects Ann's critical pashmina supply.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Here's the deal: I do not give a flying fuck about illiterate goat herders in the Hindu Kush. GTFO of Afghanistan yesterday.

  • Tilley

    drones are being used in drone strikes? Noooooo!!!!!

  • VinnyThePooh

    Drones against US citizens included. Huh, Mitt?

  • chascates

    Killing wedding parties with drone strikes isn't very helpful

  • ElPinche

    I hope Mittwit sends Barry a nice thank-you for his awesome foreign policy seminar.

  • memzilla

    What is your position on drones? Umm, prone, in a basement, with the lights off.

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Whoever programmed Mittens to yap about Pakistan really shit the bed.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Yeah, they need to go to Wikipedia and learn something about the Pashtuns and the Baluchis, to start with. Fucking morons.

  • Veritas78

    Drones! Yup! Good luck with this. You'll pick up a lot of liberal votes with this.

  • Blendergoathead

    Ha ha, Mittens just effectively called Pakistan "uncivilized."

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    I believe that using drones is the sort of foreign policy best suited to bees, not exceptional Americans.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Mitt, during Dubya's administration, he did nothing to motivate Pakistan to tame the autonomous tribal areas where the Taliban hid. You know who did actually prod Pakistan to putting troops in Swat Valley and North Waziristan? President Obama.

  • VinnyThePooh

    What about Christian extremists?

    • miss_grundy

      Please….let's not start a discussion of Mormons and born-again Christians…Wasn't that discussed yesterday during the Christian textbook lecture?

  • Jerri

    Dear Mittens, I hope the next time I hear you talk for this long it's during you concession speech.

  • ProgressiveInga

    Time for Dan Senor to check Mittens' diaper. I think he shat himself.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Did he just learn the word "tumult"?

  • Wadisay

    Romney: A noun, a verb, Iran 4 years closer to a bomb. WTF?

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Has Hannity declared Romney the winner yet?

  • Negropolis

    Al Queda is not on its heels? You have SO lost this thing, Willard.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Just opened himself to one!

  • Pat_Pending

    Mitt wouldn't know a Pashtun if one came up and blew up his ass…

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Na?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    oh bring the Israeli-Palestinian comment Mitt said on the video plz!

  • Veritas78

    Strong leadership! Why didn't Obama think of this?

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Tumult should have been a drinking cue tonight.

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    Am I sweating profusely? Yes.
    Am I going to pull out? No.
    Will I projectile vomit across this desk? Possibly.

  • Come here a minute

    "Flying Death Robots? I agree with this guy about that too."

  • Callyson

    And do tell, Mittens, how will you move the world away from Islamic terrorism? Any policy specifics at all? And BTW, does your reference to Islamic terrorism mean you will overlook terrorism that is not connected to Islam?

    Asshole.

  • Close_Read

    Well Mittens is just jibber-jabbering now. blah blah blah blah need strong leadership blah blah blah

  • VeraSevera

    You have the ISI. You have the civil government. You have a bag full of shit.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    so i'm taking tonight's mitt strategy to be: be reasonable and say we're not going to war and reassure the US america people that we're not warrin agin.

    but this can't help with repubs.

    nor i imagine will it reassure our allies. this guy really has been all over the map and bamz has pointed that out quite effectively.

  • JadedPreppy

    Can you imagine him saying "Bad Guys" for 4 years?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Everything is in playground talk.

    • MissTaken

      We heard W yap about 'ttrrists' for 8 years, so, sadly, yes.

      • SorosBot

        'ttrrists with nukular weapons too.

  • memzilla

    Hey, I'm four years closer to Jeb Bush running for Preznit, you don't see me clamoring to bomb Florida…. yet.

  • Matthius_Phelan

    Romney describing Pakistan's internal politics is the presidential equivalent of Paul Ryan explaining the fightin' season. Thanks, man! They have nukes!?!?! Holy smokes!?!?!

    • chascates

      They have a hundred! (Compared to our 7,200 or so)

  • TribecaMike

    I'm missing Hoarders for this rout?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      And the Giants are whacking out the Cards, and the Lions will be lucky to get three first downs in the 2nd half.

      • Lucidamente1

        "The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant!"

    • chascates

      Fortunately all I have to do is look at all my piles of books, magazines, and clothes and I'm there.

    • No_Wire_Hangers

      This week, Crazy Bob finds Mittens' failed presidential run under a dead cat in the spare bedroom.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      I'd sort my socks but they're all the same. Just like Mitt's answers.

  • mayor_quimby

    Anybody watching the CNN coverage take note that on the approval line graph, the green Men line always stays on top of the yellow Women line. Fucking sexist is what it is, dicks.

  • AlterNewt

    Sssshhhhh, Mitt…. Listen…can you hear them?… the Freedom Voices?

    • bikerlaureate

      "Listen To The Flower People" had a better groove.

    • Negropolis

      Mr. 1%, can you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men….?

  • Callyson

    Tunisia–we were first!

    Oh yeah…Obama is handling this like a pro. You can really tell which of these candidates is actually ready to handle American foreign policy…

  • pdiddycornchips

    He's going to be tough and also nice and sometimes say somethings to them and then everyone will just fall in line. He's the CEO of EARTH!!! Everyone do as he says!!!

    • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

      He'll just sit them all down and say, "You people…" and from there it's "Bring on the dancing horses…"

  • No_Wire_Hangers

    ROBOTS!

  • chascates

    Our military industrial complex.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    I hate that Mitt waiting for a question look.

    • NellCote71

      Oh, me too. I will choke on my own vomit if I have to see that for four years. And Ann's smug, entitled puss.

    • Jerri

      I love it because I know he had to practice it and whatever are seeing is the best he can do.

    • Ducksworthy

      You think he's waiting for a question? I thought he was expecting Sausages.

  • GuanoFaucet

    Mitt believes the greatest future threat to the country is poor people.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He's probably right: when the rich have taken so much of everything that 99% of us are poor, there's gonna be a problem.

  • JackObin

    I do believe Romney is dumber than Raygun AND Little Georgie Bush. Or in the immortal words of Little Danny Quayle: "What a waste it is not to have a mind".

  • smashaduck

    The greatest threat to our national security? Single mothers.

    • Terry

      Armed single mothers

    • chascates

      But at the same time we need moar white babies!

    • Negropolis

      Binders-full of single mothers welfare queens.

  • memzilla

    "Greatest future threat to the national security of this country?"

    A ROMNEY ADMINISTRATION.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      hiyo!

    • finallyhappy

      Where is C R- we know it is angry Cephalopods!!

  • snowpointsecret

    In before Romney brings up China having more manufacturing while ignoring the fact that they have 4 times the population and therefore is way behind on a per-capita basis….

  • Barbara_

    My liver is now in tumult.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      erf.

    • memzilla

      I would have imposed sanctions on your liver much quicker.

    • AlterNewt

      Is that anywhere near Albuquerque?

      • mudsharc

        oklahoma.

    • redarmyzombie

      And that's why we have to get rid of Obamacare.

      Wait, what?

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    The greatest threat to our security is ILLEGAL FILE SHARING.

    • snowpointsecret

      I would ABSOLUTELY download a pizza.

      • HouseOfTheBlueLights

        Will the new 3D printers be able to do this?

      • NellCote71

        What a cool idea. But the cheeses. Kind of messy.

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          It wouldn't be too hard to whip up a cheese printer using an old dot matrix device with a can of cheese whiz as the ink cartridge.

    • mille derps

      Not illegal binder sharing?

  • ibwilliamsi

    OK, I had to break out the sipping tequila. He’s complaining about Israel and the Palestinians not having Peace Talks? Did he not VERY CANDIDLY say that there was no way that they were going to work out their differences and we shouldn’t waste our time with it?

  • Callyson

    Americans have seen jobs being shipped overseas

    Nice, Mr President…but I wish you would come out and mention that Romney supports the tax break that lets them do so…

    ETA–yes! Obama pointed out that Mittens beat up on him when he stood up for American workers!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Bob: What do you believe is the greatest future threat to the US?

    Obama picks China? I'm glad the Chinese are so polite every four years while we bash the crap out of them.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      He said "terrorists" first.

  • SorosBot

    Here I thought Mitt's opinion on the use of drones was that OBAMA HAS USED DRONES THEREFORE HE IS JUST LIKE GEORGE BUSH AND ANY REAL LIBERAL HAS TO VOTE FOR MITT ROMNEY OR JILL STEIN WHICH IS THE EXACT SAME THING AS VOTING FOR ROMNEY BECAUSE OBAMA USES DRONES AND SO HE IS JUST LIKE A REPUBLICAN AND PUTTING ROMNEY IN OFFICE WILL SOMEHOW MAKE A FULL 100% LIBERAL WIN IN 2016 WHO WILL GIVE US ALL PONIES.

    • Biff

      I like ponies!

      Delicious ponies…

  • ProgressiveInga

    "Ohio"
    Drink!

    • snowpointsecret

      Drinking is much more common here right now!

  • orygoon

    I sure love knowing that you co -commenters are my fellow countryfolks. Just want you all to know!

    • ibwilliamsi

      Yeah, I had to get off my facebook page where my friend's friend's friend was blabbin on and on that someone was going to cut off someone's head cuz – "Moozlims!"

    • Close_Read

      That's only because our Editrix can't outsource us to Asia becuz we already work for free.

    • NellCote71

      Hugs. Me too. I come here instead of Facebook littered by people from my high school who have not moved on.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      You sure you're not sneaking sips of Mr. Goons beer?

  • gullywompr

    The Great Chinese Tire Caper, solved!

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    Mitt just thinks that all American workers should be paid $0.12/hour

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      So the rich can get richer, and pay more taxes … no, wait, that's not the plan. Damn, I keep losing track of the Ryan plan's details.

  • Veritas78

    12 minutes of blah on China? Steel workers, tires, protectionism, nice pivot.

  • Not_Mother

    Obama has bounced from 59% to 61% on gambler's site intrade since debate started

  • TribecaMike

    I expected Mitt to throw in some French by this point, though he does look like he wants to kiss the prez.

    • NellCote71

      I know. Doesn't he just?

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Barack must be glad he isn't having to debate Huntsman.

    • mayor_quimby

      Sheesh, that would have been awkward!

    • MissTaken

      The dismissal of Huntsman by his party is proof the GOP doesn't deserve smart people.

      • SorosBot

        It's also proof that the GOP doesn't want smart people.

    • AlterNewt

      AWKward.

  • chascates

    Iran is literally just like cold war Russia.

  • Theywontlisten

    mittens is going to cry

  • Wadisay

    If I may say so, as a result of the successful tire case against Chinese imports, I got bent over for a new set of wheels in big way last month.

  • PugglesRule

    Barry Bamz needs to nail Mittens to the wall on China and outsourcing American jobs.

    • miss_grundy

      And he did….