JOURNAMALISM  5:25 pm October 22, 2012

Anderson Cooper To Whistleblower: Why Do You Want To Hurt Those Nice Banks?

by Kris E. Benson

Well that was fast! The media has already, as Hamilton Nolan astutely predicted, turned on Greg Smith, the former Goldman Sachs analyst turned writer. You might remember Greg Smith from the scathing Op-Ed he wrote in the New York Times back in April, announcing his resignation from Goldman Sachs and revealing that their corporate culture is about as disgusting as we all have probably imagined it to be. At the time of the Op-Ed, the media wasn’t so sure about what to make of him, but erred on the side of “whistleblower,” with a dollop of hero! Except now the Lamestream Media has changed its mind and decided that he kind of sucks because the banks are full of shitbags, tell us something we don’t know. Actually, he isn’t “believable,” probably (this is from the New York Times). Or maybe he is actually a LIAR, look at him LYING his ass off and getting paid a shitload of money to do it! That last one, of course, is from Forbes magazine, a paragon of probity.

Anyway, so here is an interview that Greg Smith did with Anderson Cooper on 60 Minutes. And luckily, Cooper asked some very important questions. Like: wasn’t this a BETRAYAL? Wasn’t it a BETRAYAL of this huge multimillion dollar corporation to hurt its feelings by writing a bunch of mean words about it in the New York Times? (Answer: no, although we would have accepted “who cares.”) Also, is working at Goldman Sachs just like Fight Club, minus Brad Pitt pissing in your clam chowder and with less emphasis on personal hygiene products? (Yes, Anderson Cooper compares Goldman Sachs to Fight Club, though we’re not sure if he means the book or the movie.) Anyway, what is the REAL LESSON here? Banks suck, and no one empowered to do anything about it seems to care. Or alternatively, they seem to care about making sure that the banks can continue to act without consequences, and they help accomplishing that by assessing Greg Smith as a person rather than assessing the institutions that he’s offering criticisms of. Criticizing the BANKS, you see, would be “biased,” and we can’t have that.

[CBS News]

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nounverb911 October 22, 2012 at 5:28 pm

I see Anderson's Robber Baron ancestors are angry.

actor212 October 22, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Maybe his mom jeans were too tight.

nounverb911 October 22, 2012 at 5:31 pm

His or his mom's?

elviouslyqueer October 22, 2012 at 5:45 pm


ph7 October 22, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Did his brother jump, or was he pushed?

actor212 October 22, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Anderson's just jealous because this guy turned down his phone number

hagajim October 22, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Banks, the fucking Superman of 2012 Merika. Can do no wrong, can shit on everyone, nobody cares. Fuck 'em all.

ManchuCandidate October 22, 2012 at 5:29 pm

I know of a few trillion reasons.

Terry October 22, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Evidently, Anderson subscribes to Romney's idea that corporations are people.

mrpuma2u October 22, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Wasn't this a betrayal, because gawd knows what an upstanding, morally unimpeachable bunch of choir boys run Goldman-Sachs. It's like accusing the clergy of ass raping tween boys and then playing a shell game with the pervert priests. How could this Greg Smith character believe such a great buncha guys would do anything bad?

Come here a minute October 22, 2012 at 5:31 pm

It's downright unpatriotic to criticize a big bank.

This bank is my bank,
This bank is your bank…
This bank was made for you and me!

Pithaughn October 22, 2012 at 5:59 pm

This bank charges random fees to you and me!

LibrarianX October 22, 2012 at 5:31 pm

The first rule of Bank Club is: fuck 'em

weejee October 22, 2012 at 5:32 pm

refer to those (ripped-off) clients as muppets

Muppet libel. Just wait 'til Miss Piggy gets done with them.

MosesInvests October 22, 2012 at 5:37 pm


OzoneTom October 22, 2012 at 5:32 pm

When did he become Anderson Mini-Cooper?

CindynEncinitas October 22, 2012 at 5:42 pm

When he found out it pays waaaay better than probity.

rocktonsam October 22, 2012 at 5:32 pm

yet with that super cuts hair cut and that j c penney suit, Smith's conscience seems clear

CindynEncinitas October 22, 2012 at 5:46 pm

And his daddy's-fancy-little-man pose…

SayItWithWookies October 22, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Banks are just like the military — nobody is entitled to criticize them or how they act unless they've been part of the culture. And anyone who criticizes them and has been part of the culture is just a malingering grievance-nurturer with an agenda and a profit motive.

Generation[redacted] October 22, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Why do you hate our banker-troops?

BoroPrimorac October 22, 2012 at 8:14 pm

He's no financial patriot.

Negropolis October 23, 2012 at 2:57 am

I could so see Frank Luntz recoining "banker-troops".

dr_giraud October 22, 2012 at 5:52 pm

I saw a DFH spit on a banker at JFK who was returning from the Cayman Islands. That's not how to treat a hero.

BlueStateLibel October 22, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Depressingly astute and accurate statement.

When the Revolution comes, I think it would be fun to make them switch places.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 22, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Don't you remember the 60s, when people claimed that hippies used to spit on our bankers?


SnarkOff October 22, 2012 at 5:33 pm

It's like Invasion of the Body Snatchers, except with banks, and Anderson Cooper.

SorosBot October 22, 2012 at 5:35 pm

Let's face it, if Watergate happened today the media would be outraged that Deep Throat dared to betray Nixon.

SnarkOff October 22, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Fox News would accuse the Liberal Media of making the whole thing up.

GeorgiaBurning October 22, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Unless he claimed that he did it because Nixon was such a flaming liberal.

Generation[redacted] October 22, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Nixon (D – San Francisco)

Chet Kincaid_ October 22, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Goldman Sachs doesn't like it when reporters get all "probity."

CindynEncinitas October 22, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Anderson does…

sbj1964 October 22, 2012 at 5:37 pm

Fuck Shitty bank,Goldman sucks,and Scank of America.

edgydrifter October 22, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Let's compromise–Greg Smith was/is a greedy douchebag which is exactly why and/or entirely because he worked for Goldman Sachs, the world's foremost producer of greedy douchebags.

Dudleydidwrong October 22, 2012 at 5:41 pm

When you can't attack the information (usually because the info is correct), you must attack the conveyor of information. Of all people, Anderson Cooper engages in ad hominem attacks. Whatsamatta, Anderson, did you get turned down? Pity, pity, pity.

WhatTheHeck October 22, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Apparently Greg Smith was not too big to fail.

barto October 22, 2012 at 5:45 pm

We should probably just throw him in jail as that appears to be our standard MO.

MittBorg October 22, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Oh, Kris E. Benson, why do you BETRAY ME by writing about BANKS on the night of the Great Debate?

weejee October 22, 2012 at 5:53 pm

MittBorg it was about their clients, their dear muppets. Now just take a deep breath, there, that's the ticket. Now just drop a couple of Krugerrands down the cleavage and you'll feel all better.

MittBorg October 22, 2012 at 6:28 pm

You SURE know how to get a body ALL calmed down. That is the perfect must-have tchotchke of the decade. Thank you. (Hugs weejee)

Chet Kincaid_ October 22, 2012 at 5:51 pm

"Were you lying then, or are you lying now?!"
(Dick Wolf jingle-bell)

mavenmaven October 22, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Today we are all muppets.

Indiepalin October 22, 2012 at 5:53 pm

I liked Anderson Cooper better when he was straight.

BoatOfVelociraptors October 22, 2012 at 5:55 pm

I dunno. It seemed like a square piece. Anderson gave the banks every chance they could to contribute, but was told to GFY behind closed doors, and instead we get muppets and mobsters.

Sounds about right.

Fox n Fiends October 22, 2012 at 6:07 pm

This will really encourage future whistleblowers to step forward.

BoroPrimorac October 22, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Russia has freer media than ours.

Fairtackle October 22, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Anderson Cooper is totally gay for Goldman Sachs.

Callyson October 22, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Wow, I thought Anderson Cooper would *never* age, but he's starting to do so. If *he* can't fight showing the passing of the years…

(rushing to call the doctor for some Botox injections…)

sullivanst October 22, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Well, AC might have a point about Fight Club, because it does seem that the number one rule of working at Goldman Sachs is you don't talk about working at Goldman Sachs, and the number two rule of working at Goldman Sachs is you do not talk about working at Goldman Sachs.

weejee October 22, 2012 at 6:44 pm

And the number three rule is if you break rules one or two you better look at getting a gills/lung transplant as you'll be swimming with the fishes?

YouBetcha October 22, 2012 at 6:52 pm

I'd still hit that. The dialect does it for me.

calliecallie October 22, 2012 at 7:13 pm

spoiler alert…

Goldman Sachs as Fight Club actually makes sense because – spoiler alert! – the guy in Fight Club was schizophrenic and tried to blow up everything.Kinda like those wanking bankers.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 22, 2012 at 7:31 pm

Where have you gone, Teddy Roosevelt?
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you

poorgradstudent October 22, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Why you gotta treat me so bad, Anderson?

pdiddycornchips October 22, 2012 at 8:22 pm

Well at ;least when they wrongfully foreclose on someone's home and steal all the contents, they say they're sorry right away. What else do you want?

decentcitizen October 22, 2012 at 8:24 pm

Let's just acknowledge that this guy's an ass-hat and Goldman Sachs are a bunch of criminal douchbags. Problem solved.

dennis1943 October 22, 2012 at 8:33 pm

There's just something so REAL about his narrative…….for real!

ttommyunger October 23, 2012 at 5:08 am

It's dweebs like Anderson Cooper that give the gheys a bad fucking name.

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