WHAT THE FUCK, Daily Caller? Why are you going around explaining that you were named after the time Dick Cheney “shot that guy in the face”?
[Tucker] Carlson insisted it was vital this new media outlet be given a name that resembled a traditional news outlet. [...]
But as Patel recounted, “it’s virtually impossible to find a domain name that includes words like the Times or the Tribune these days — unless you want to pay a lot of money for them.” So Patel started racking his brain for other name ideas.And then he remembered the time Dick Cheney shot that guy in the face.
So the Daily Caller named itself after the Corpus Christie paper that was cold scooping the world constantly on how Dick Cheney “shot that guy in the face.” Remember the hilarity of how Dick Cheney refused to talk to the cops after he “shot that guy in the face”? And how the guy who he shot in the face held a press conference to apologize to Dick Cheney for getting in the way of his gun, with his face?
Oh how such fine fellows as Tucker Carlson must have been rolling in hilarity.
What else could the Daily Caller have daily called itself, if it hadn’t chosen to name itself after the paper reporting on how Dick Cheney “shot that guy in the face”?
- Himbo.com
- Das Racist.org
- DickCheneyShotThatGuyInTheFace.tv
- Tuddfuckers.edu
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"vital?"
Maybe he meant "viral" but couldn't speak clearly around Cheney's dick?
So, you're saying Dick Cheney shot Tucker Carlson in the face?
Tuck looks like a swallower, to me
Is this like an "Origins" issue of some Marvel superhero?
Worst. Fantastic Four. Reboot. Ever.
Better than New 52 though.
Yeah, but even "one more day" with Spider-Man selling his marriage to the devil was better than the New 52.
HIMANSHU LIBEL
We're not racist, we love white people. Ford trucks, apple pies, bald eagles!
Especially white people in Ford trucks eating apple pie while they drag blahs in chains behind said Ford trucks, as bald eagles circle overhead.
Now that there's some fun times!
For a post that contains both "Tucker Carlson" and "got shot in the face," I found this post very unsatisfying. For those who feel like me, I'd just like to put these words together, where they belong. "Tucker Carlson got shot in the face" – with votes.
"Tucker Carlson got shot in the face"
I'm thinking bukake here.
Special "running down my chin" edition.
There are a lot of good non-lethal X rated ammo possibilities here.
Dildo Bazooka.
I would not be surprised to learn Tucker Carlson has taken a lot of loads in the face. Oh, wait, thats a different kind of "shot,"
Good thing for them that Cheney didn't shoot that guy in Tate County, Mississippi.
http://www.thedemocrat.com/site/news.cfm?brd=1867
But why couldn't it be in Taint County???????
Linky is blocked. HAS A SAD.
(Btw, Tate County is just below me, and is generally regarded regionally as the epicenter of white trashdom. An epic accomplishment, even by Mississippi standards.)
Would've been just too ironic if it'd happened in Cleveland.
I always thought it was for that old boyfriend who would never leave you alone.
21st Century. They would have had to call themselves "Daily Drunk Texter"
The Daily Dick Pic with a new one of Tuck's face everyday would have been too on the nose, I suppose.
"Miss me much, baby?"
Look who has her panties in a bunch now.
Maybe THAT'S what's wrong with his face – his black lace thong is all wrapped up too tightly where his dick should be. It's on your shoulders, asshole.
I thought the name of their website was inspired by a debt collection agency.
Was DicksRUs already taken?
Yup. So was The Daily Galler.
And Daily Pot-Pie.
Turducken.com
"Keep fuckin' that turducken" just rolls off the tongue, don't it?
Plus, it contains the word "turd", so there's that.
Turdicken.com
We are talking about Tucker Carlson, after all.
TuckDickIn.com
What Carlson does every night in front of his mirror. Then he sings along to Carol Channing showtunes.
Too long, by "ucken".
Nicely played!
*polite golf clap*
Martini?
Why not "Daily News Cum Shot in the Face by Dick"?
Newskakke?
Their servers couldn't handle the increase in traffic.
"it’s virtually impossible to find a domain name that includes words like the Times or the Tribune these days — unless you want to pay a lot of money for them.”
Those pesky free-market principles always crop up in the most inconvenient ways, don't thye?
Someone oughta pass a law.
Fucking capitalist pigs.
Remember when this used to be called "cyber-squatting"? As though figuring out that GM.com might have market value before somebody at GM did were comparable to illegally occupying real estate. Rent-seeking capitalists are the fiercest enemies of capitalism.
That's funny, because RacistDouchebagBowTieWearingFratBoyTimes.com seems to be available.
Mumsy wouldn't fork over some more munies for a domain name?
All her available cash was put into test marketing for the new Swanson's Frozen Turducken™.
My thoughts exactly. Why didn't he borrow $20,000 from his parents, like good Republican capitalists are supposed to do? Why does Tucker Carlson hate Amercia?
So Patel started racking his brain for other name ideas.
I think I've spotted his problem…
Must have been a tiny rack
Why not DeadeyeDick.com?
I know, that would be silly. Mr. Vonnegut's character actually felt remorse.
Should have been whiny.com. Which, by the way, is still available.
I can't believe Michelle Malkin passed that up and went with twitchy.com!
They could at least have given a nod to Whittington's problem and named it "The Harry Caller".
Was Harry politically erect?
bowtietwatwaffle.derp too long?
I was going to go with whothefuckistuckercarlsonandwhatsupwiththatbowtie.com
I heartily endorse the ".derp" TLD and will propose it to ICANN immediately.
Fuck me, why didn't I buy the ".derp" domains??????
doucheymotherfucker.derp just sings, baby.
And it just hit me that I could mirror all the .com sites like, I dunno, BigGovernment.derp and Newsmax.derp and DailyCaller.derp
Jesus I hate this fucking smug douchebag. That is all.
I hate this guy he has done to bowties what Hitler did to the well-trimmed mustache.
Well after all who doesn't love a good facial?
Der Stürmer. Good chance that domain is available. Here are some others that would work also.
Was The Onion taken?
If I knew how to create a .gif with Tucker's bow tie twirling like a propeller, I'd do it.
Give me a few minutes. Not sure how I can get it to ya though.
Maybe Becca could make it a blingy thing.
wonkette.com
And yet shooting a guy in the face was still one of the least deadly things Cheney ever did while Vice President.
Shoottheguyintheface.com. When the 'news' website goes out of business, he can sell the remaining assets (ie. domain name) to a pornsite developer.
Whom he beats up in a men's room?
That mug shot is totally Tuckered. It makes me wish I was wishing Carlson would stop hitting my fist with his nose. Hitting it with votes, obvs.
He needs to go back to Dancing with the Stars. They're doing an alumnae edition. Bristol Palin has been on again.
"has been" indeed.
And gone again too. Yay!
The name of the newspaper that reported Cheney's shooting of one of his hunting buddies isn't the Daily Caller. It's the Corpus Christi Caller Times or as we call it, the Smaller Times – the content has shrunk to almost nothing or the Chamber of Commerce Caller Times for it's probusiness bias.
I thought "Daily Caller" was the nickname given to Tucker by one of his rentboys.
http://dailykos.xxx
"Stormfront" was taken, too.
"Sturm and Drag" would have been suitable and accurate
In pursuit of an Occam-y solution, I note with wonder that asshole.com is available.
Oddly, tho, it shows up as a porn site in my firewall
Your firewall blocks porn sites?
Maybe http://www.bitchhurt.com?
GreatArgumentForAbortion.org?
This certainly gives me an idea of a fun activity the Daily Caller staff can do at their Halloween party.
So no bobbing for apples, no pin the tail on the donkey, but…?
It's like Spin the Bottle, but with more maiming.
Spin the hair-triggered AK-47?
The real reason for the name is that Pravda is English is Daily Caller.
Mein Daily Kampf?
Yes, The Daily Facial is already taken too. Don't ask me how I know.
What? <a href="http://www.mansizedsafe.com” target=”_blank”>www.mansizedsafe.com and http://www.oldguymanagestodefydeathwithoutaheartbeat-eventhoughweneverknewhehadaheart .com were taken?
Sometimes the wrong guy gets shot in the face.
butthurtdouche.com is available.
asshatswithcomputers.com
howz about turdshitpoopfacedidiot.sux?
The Daily Purge?
I will simply wear out my "Blanche Carlson's Gentleman Caller."
With a nod to my birthplace on Lake Erie: The Insane Dealer?
The Wingtard-Picayune?
LateNightShotgunBlasts.com
marieantoinette.com
fabulousfascists.tv
Tucker's Monthly Caller?
aka RedState?
The Morning Shit.
Tucker Up Buttercup
Tucker It Up The Butt In Carlson Caverns
Tuckered Out
Tucker Tucker Gooser
He missed the brainstorming session
AuswitzFurbies.com
So, was the Daily Kristallnacht taken?
MotherTucker?
"Shot that guy in the face?" As I recall, he was merely "peppered" with bird shot.
I think his last words before being peppered were,"Is there anything you boys can't fuck up?"
Mmm…peppered trial lawyer. Delish!
Wikipedia: After Carlson told Stewart "I think you're more fun on your show," Stewart replied by saying: "You know what's interesting though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show."
Therefore Daily Caller should become Big Dick.
DickCheneyShotThatGuyInTheFace.tv
Because
DickCheneyShotThatGuyInTheFace.com
DickCheneyShotThatGuyInTheFace.net
DickCheneyShotThatGuyInTheFace.org
…were already snapped up!
Tucker: face of a boy, body of a girl, mind of a perv. You're welcome…
What a sad, yet unsurprising, lack of humanity from the Swanson TV Dinner scion.
I'm at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.
dot org
Tucker could have called it the "Daily Wedgie" as a nod to his high school days.
Bad associations, bad, do not like, I don't want to see tucker anywhere anyhow near a black lace thong. Not that dickhead.
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