MENTAL DISORDER ORIGIN STORIES  10:10 am October 19, 2012

Daily Caller Explains It Was Named After ‘The Time Dick Cheney Shot That Guy In The Face’

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

mouthbreathyWHAT THE FUCK, Daily Caller? Why are you going around explaining that you were named after the time Dick Cheney “shot that guy in the face”?

[Tucker] Carlson insisted it was vital this new media outlet be given a name that resembled a traditional news outlet. [...]
But as Patel recounted, β€œit’s virtually impossible to find a domain name that includes words like the Times or the Tribune these days β€” unless you want to pay a lot of money for them.” So Patel started racking his brain for other name ideas.

And then he remembered the time Dick Cheney shot that guy in the face.

So the Daily Caller named itself after the Corpus Christie paper that was cold scooping the world constantly on how Dick Cheney “shot that guy in the face.” Remember the hilarity of how Dick Cheney refused to talk to the cops after he “shot that guy in the face”? And how the guy who he shot in the face held a press conference to apologize to Dick Cheney for getting in the way of his gun, with his face?

Oh how such fine fellows as Tucker Carlson must have been rolling in hilarity.

What else could the Daily Caller have daily called itself, if it hadn’t chosen to name itself after the paper reporting on how Dick Cheney “shot that guy in the face”?

  • Himbo.com
  • Das Racist.org
  • DickCheneyShotThatGuyInTheFace.tv
  • Tuddfuckers.edu

[DailyCaller]

 
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{ 121 comments }

BadKitty904 October 19, 2012 at 10:13 am

"vital?"

actor212 October 19, 2012 at 10:20 am

Maybe he meant "viral" but couldn't speak clearly around Cheney's dick?

HogeyeGrex October 19, 2012 at 10:44 am

So, you're saying Dick Cheney shot Tucker Carlson in the face?

actor212 October 19, 2012 at 10:51 am

Tuck looks like a swallower, to me

BaldarTFlagass October 19, 2012 at 10:13 am

Is this like an "Origins" issue of some Marvel superhero?

actor212 October 19, 2012 at 10:20 am

Worst. Fantastic Four. Reboot. Ever.

HateMachine October 19, 2012 at 10:26 am

Better than New 52 though.

SorosBot October 19, 2012 at 10:31 am

Yeah, but even "one more day" with Spider-Man selling his marriage to the devil was better than the New 52.

mavenmaven October 19, 2012 at 10:14 am

HIMANSHU LIBEL

HateMachine October 19, 2012 at 10:19 am

We're not racist, we love white people. Ford trucks, apple pies, bald eagles!

FlownOver October 19, 2012 at 10:27 am

Especially white people in Ford trucks eating apple pie while they drag blahs in chains behind said Ford trucks, as bald eagles circle overhead.

Now that there's some fun times!

noodlesalad October 19, 2012 at 10:15 am

For a post that contains both "Tucker Carlson" and "got shot in the face," I found this post very unsatisfying. For those who feel like me, I'd just like to put these words together, where they belong. "Tucker Carlson got shot in the face" – with votes.

BaldarTFlagass October 19, 2012 at 10:21 am

"Tucker Carlson got shot in the face"

I'm thinking bukake here.

eggsacklywright October 19, 2012 at 10:26 am

Special "running down my chin" edition.

noodlesalad October 19, 2012 at 10:41 am

There are a lot of good non-lethal X rated ammo possibilities here.

BoatOfVelociraptors October 19, 2012 at 2:16 pm
prommie October 19, 2012 at 10:48 am

I would not be surprised to learn Tucker Carlson has taken a lot of loads in the face. Oh, wait, thats a different kind of "shot,"

BaldarTFlagass October 19, 2012 at 10:15 am

Good thing for them that Cheney didn't shoot that guy in Tate County, Mississippi.
http://www.thedemocrat.com/site/news.cfm?brd=1867

actor212 October 19, 2012 at 10:21 am

But why couldn't it be in Taint County???????

elviouslyqueer October 19, 2012 at 10:48 am

Linky is blocked. HAS A SAD.

(Btw, Tate County is just below me, and is generally regarded regionally as the epicenter of white trashdom. An epic accomplishment, even by Mississippi standards.)

sullivanst October 19, 2012 at 10:57 am

Would've been just too ironic if it'd happened in Cleveland.

sudsmckenzie October 19, 2012 at 10:17 am

I always thought it was for that old boyfriend who would never leave you alone.

actor212 October 19, 2012 at 10:19 am

21st Century. They would have had to call themselves "Daily Drunk Texter"

FakaktaSouth October 19, 2012 at 10:45 am

The Daily Dick Pic with a new one of Tuck's face everyday would have been too on the nose, I suppose.

actor212 October 19, 2012 at 10:50 am

"Miss me much, baby?"

prommie October 19, 2012 at 10:52 am

Look who has her panties in a bunch now.

FakaktaSouth October 19, 2012 at 11:06 am

Maybe THAT'S what's wrong with his face – his black lace thong is all wrapped up too tightly where his dick should be. It's on your shoulders, asshole.

BaldarTFlagass October 19, 2012 at 10:17 am

I thought the name of their website was inspired by a debt collection agency.

Texan_Bulldog October 19, 2012 at 10:18 am

Was DicksRUs already taken?

eggsacklywright October 19, 2012 at 10:39 am

Yup. So was The Daily Galler.

Lot_49 October 19, 2012 at 11:08 am

And Daily Pot-Pie.

actor212 October 19, 2012 at 10:19 am

Turducken.com

Biff October 19, 2012 at 10:22 am

"Keep fuckin' that turducken" just rolls off the tongue, don't it?

tessiee October 19, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Plus, it contains the word "turd", so there's that.

Cicada October 19, 2012 at 10:26 am

Turdicken.com

We are talking about Tucker Carlson, after all.

actor212 October 19, 2012 at 10:34 am

TuckDickIn.com

What Carlson does every night in front of his mirror. Then he sings along to Carol Channing showtunes.

HogeyeGrex October 19, 2012 at 10:46 am

Too long, by "ucken".

actor212 October 19, 2012 at 10:50 am

Nicely played!

*polite golf clap*

Martini?

Poindexter718 October 19, 2012 at 10:20 am

Why not "Daily News Cum Shot in the Face by Dick"?

BoatOfVelociraptors October 19, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Newskakke?

jaytingle October 20, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Their servers couldn't handle the increase in traffic.

Oblios_Cap October 19, 2012 at 10:21 am

"it’s virtually impossible to find a domain name that includes words like the Times or the Tribune these days — unless you want to pay a lot of money for them.”

Those pesky free-market principles always crop up in the most inconvenient ways, don't thye?

Someone oughta pass a law.

Barrelhse October 19, 2012 at 10:31 am

Fucking capitalist pigs.

Lot_49 October 19, 2012 at 11:09 am

Remember when this used to be called "cyber-squatting"? As though figuring out that GM.com might have market value before somebody at GM did were comparable to illegally occupying real estate. Rent-seeking capitalists are the fiercest enemies of capitalism.

Serolf_Divad October 19, 2012 at 11:53 am

That's funny, because RacistDouchebagBowTieWearingFratBoyTimes.com seems to be available.

trampndirtdown October 19, 2012 at 10:21 am

Mumsy wouldn't fork over some more munies for a domain name?

FlownOver October 19, 2012 at 10:29 am

All her available cash was put into test marketing for the new Swanson's Frozen Turducken™.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 19, 2012 at 11:17 am

My thoughts exactly. Why didn't he borrow $20,000 from his parents, like good Republican capitalists are supposed to do? Why does Tucker Carlson hate Amercia?

Oblios_Cap October 19, 2012 at 10:21 am

So Patel started racking his brain for other name ideas.

I think I've spotted his problem…

actor212 October 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

Must have been a tiny rack

jodyleek October 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

Why not DeadeyeDick.com?

I know, that would be silly. Mr. Vonnegut's character actually felt remorse.

LesBontemps October 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

Should have been whiny.com. Which, by the way, is still available.

HistoriCat October 19, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I can't believe Michelle Malkin passed that up and went with twitchy.com!

actor212 October 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

They could at least have given a nod to Whittington's problem and named it "The Harry Caller".

eggsacklywright October 19, 2012 at 11:06 am

Was Harry politically erect?

Not_So_Much October 19, 2012 at 10:23 am

bowtietwatwaffle.derp too long?

LesBontemps October 19, 2012 at 10:31 am

I was going to go with whothefuckistuckercarlsonandwhatsupwiththatbowtie.com

WhatTheHolyHeck October 19, 2012 at 11:50 am

I heartily endorse the ".derp" TLD and will propose it to ICANN immediately.

actor212 October 19, 2012 at 10:24 am

Fuck me, why didn't I buy the ".derp" domains??????

elviouslyqueer October 19, 2012 at 10:51 am

doucheymotherfucker.derp just sings, baby.

actor212 October 19, 2012 at 11:02 am

And it just hit me that I could mirror all the .com sites like, I dunno, BigGovernment.derp and Newsmax.derp and DailyCaller.derp

freakishlywrong October 19, 2012 at 10:25 am

Jesus I hate this fucking smug douchebag. That is all.

Goonemeritus October 19, 2012 at 10:26 am

I hate this guy he has done to bowties what Hitler did to the well-trimmed mustache.

mrblifil October 19, 2012 at 10:27 am

Well after all who doesn't love a good facial?

rickmaci October 19, 2012 at 10:29 am

Der Stürmer. Good chance that domain is available. Here are some others that would work also.

LibertyLover October 19, 2012 at 10:29 am

Was The Onion taken?

eggsacklywright October 19, 2012 at 10:30 am

If I knew how to create a .gif with Tucker's bow tie twirling like a propeller, I'd do it.

Jus_Wonderin October 19, 2012 at 10:58 am

Give me a few minutes. Not sure how I can get it to ya though.

eggsacklywright October 19, 2012 at 11:12 am

Maybe Becca could make it a blingy thing.

SaintNixon October 19, 2012 at 10:31 am

wonkette.com

SorosBot October 19, 2012 at 10:32 am

And yet shooting a guy in the face was still one of the least deadly things Cheney ever did while Vice President.

Lascauxcaveman October 19, 2012 at 10:38 am

Shoottheguyintheface.com. When the 'news' website goes out of business, he can sell the remaining assets (ie. domain name) to a pornsite developer.

Incitefully_Joe October 19, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Whom he beats up in a men's room?

weejee October 19, 2012 at 10:39 am

That mug shot is totally Tuckered. It makes me wish I was wishing Carlson would stop hitting my fist with his nose. Hitting it with votes, obvs.

calliecallie October 19, 2012 at 10:43 am

He needs to go back to Dancing with the Stars. They're doing an alumnae edition. Bristol Palin has been on again.

eggsacklywright October 19, 2012 at 10:55 am

"has been" indeed.

Jus_Wonderin October 19, 2012 at 10:55 am

And gone again too. Yay!

Conveidt October 19, 2012 at 10:44 am

The name of the newspaper that reported Cheney's shooting of one of his hunting buddies isn't the Daily Caller. It's the Corpus Christi Caller Times or as we call it, the Smaller Times – the content has shrunk to almost nothing or the Chamber of Commerce Caller Times for it's probusiness bias.

ChillBill October 19, 2012 at 10:45 am

I thought "Daily Caller" was the nickname given to Tucker by one of his rentboys.

Come here a minute October 19, 2012 at 10:46 am
Wadisay October 19, 2012 at 10:48 am

"Stormfront" was taken, too.

actor212 October 19, 2012 at 10:52 am

"Sturm and Drag" would have been suitable and accurate

FlownOver October 19, 2012 at 10:48 am

In pursuit of an Occam-y solution, I note with wonder that asshole.com is available.

actor212 October 19, 2012 at 10:55 am

Oddly, tho, it shows up as a porn site in my firewall

FlownOver October 19, 2012 at 11:03 am

Your firewall blocks porn sites?

hagajim October 19, 2012 at 10:49 am
StealthMuslin October 19, 2012 at 10:50 am

GreatArgumentForAbortion.org?

Naked_Bunny October 19, 2012 at 11:00 am

This certainly gives me an idea of a fun activity the Daily Caller staff can do at their Halloween party.

actor212 October 19, 2012 at 11:01 am

So no bobbing for apples, no pin the tail on the donkey, but…?

Naked_Bunny October 19, 2012 at 11:07 am

It's like Spin the Bottle, but with more maiming.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 19, 2012 at 11:21 am

Spin the hair-triggered AK-47?

An_Outhouse October 19, 2012 at 11:04 am

The real reason for the name is that Pravda is English is Daily Caller.

IncenseDebate October 19, 2012 at 11:05 am

Mein Daily Kampf?

IncenseDebate October 19, 2012 at 11:07 am

Yes, The Daily Facial is already taken too. Don't ask me how I know.

pinkocommi October 19, 2012 at 11:10 am
Beetagger October 19, 2012 at 11:17 am

Sometimes the wrong guy gets shot in the face.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 19, 2012 at 11:22 am

butthurtdouche.com is available.

johnnyzhivago October 19, 2012 at 11:59 am

asshatswithcomputers.com

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 19, 2012 at 12:08 pm

howz about turdshitpoopfacedidiot.sux?

Chet Kincaid_ October 19, 2012 at 12:10 pm

The Daily Purge?

Chet Kincaid_ October 19, 2012 at 12:12 pm

I will simply wear out my "Blanche Carlson's Gentleman Caller."

Chet Kincaid_ October 19, 2012 at 12:18 pm

With a nod to my birthplace on Lake Erie: The Insane Dealer?

Chet Kincaid_ October 19, 2012 at 12:21 pm

The Wingtard-Picayune?

CthuNHu October 19, 2012 at 12:24 pm

LateNightShotgunBlasts.com

marieantoinette.com

fabulousfascists.tv

Generation[redacted] October 19, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Tucker's Monthly Caller?

Nostrildamus October 19, 2012 at 1:02 pm

aka RedState?

owhatever October 19, 2012 at 12:38 pm

The Morning Shit.

Detesticle October 19, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Tucker Up Buttercup
Tucker It Up The Butt In Carlson Caverns
Tuckered Out
Tucker Tucker Gooser

He missed the brainstorming session

Nostrildamus October 19, 2012 at 1:00 pm

AuswitzFurbies.com

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 19, 2012 at 1:07 pm

So, was the Daily Kristallnacht taken?

mosjef October 19, 2012 at 1:23 pm

MotherTucker?

Stevola October 19, 2012 at 1:52 pm

"Shot that guy in the face?" As I recall, he was merely "peppered" with bird shot.
I think his last words before being peppered were,"Is there anything you boys can't fuck up?"

DahBoner October 19, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Mmm…peppered trial lawyer. Delish!

chascates October 19, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Wikipedia: After Carlson told Stewart "I think you're more fun on your show," Stewart replied by saying: "You know what's interesting though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show."

Therefore Daily Caller should become Big Dick.

DahBoner October 19, 2012 at 2:18 pm

DickCheneyShotThatGuyInTheFace.tv

Because
DickCheneyShotThatGuyInTheFace.com
DickCheneyShotThatGuyInTheFace.net
DickCheneyShotThatGuyInTheFace.org

…were already snapped up!

ttommyunger October 19, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Tucker: face of a boy, body of a girl, mind of a perv. You're welcome…

Jukesgrrl October 20, 2012 at 1:02 am

What a sad, yet unsurprising, lack of humanity from the Swanson TV Dinner scion.

EmileZoloft October 20, 2012 at 9:58 am

I'm at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

EmileZoloft October 20, 2012 at 9:58 am

dot org

fitley October 22, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Tucker could have called it the "Daily Wedgie" as a nod to his high school days.

prommie October 19, 2012 at 11:13 am

Bad associations, bad, do not like, I don't want to see tucker anywhere anyhow near a black lace thong. Not that dickhead.

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