kicking ass with robot feet

Live Blooging The Last Death Rattle Of Illinois Congressman Joe Walsh

best guyHey, so anybody able to get this fucker to load? No, right? HAHAHA, we just figured it out. Chicago is NOT ON EASTERN TIME MAYBE? So maybe it is one more hour before this bad boy starts? For sweet Jesus crying out loud. This is seriously going to cut into our Pimm’s cup and French dip time at Cole’s, which we’d thoughtfully scheduled for 90 minutes from now. Let’s all go do something else for a while, yes? See you back in like 45. Pfft.

7 PM Whatever time: Are we ready to rumble? NOT ANYMORE.

7:01 PM — So is there a goddamn debate or is this their regular newscast? Anybody else ready to scrape this ridiculous waste of pixels from the Internet? Ooh, a weather report.

7:05 PM — Pretty sure the moderator just described Joe Walsh as a high school dropout.

7:05 PM Also — Five bucks says Joe Walsh, when answering “something nice” says he totally respects her Purple Heart band-aid.

7:06 PM — Everyone send us five dollars right now please, as we win. You may send it care of PayPal, rebecca at wonkette dot com.

7:07 PM — Joe Walsh explains that when President Obama was elected, everybody freaked out. That is remarkably accurate! But he says it’s because “government had gotten so big.” That is not!

7:08 PM — Moderator: Tammy Duckworth, in what way will you fuck the Democratic Party should this Democratic district send you to Washington? (BIPARTISANLY FUCK YOUR PARTY, of course.)

7:16 PM — Nothing against whatever words Tammy is saying, but have you all asked Jasmine in the forum chatroom a question yet? They might even ask it on air! Here, we will start: “Congressman Walsh, where will you sleep when you no longer have a Washington office? Will you be homeless like your starving homeless children what got no clothes or food?”

7:17 PM — Oh, Tammy calls the $716 billion lie! And the moderator follows up by asking how the $716 billion in Medicare savings is different from Paul Ryan’s $716 billion cut in savings. Has the moderator not understood that is the worst thing a moderator can ever do, is follow up a question? BURN THE MODERATOR!

7:18 PM — Ooh, and Tammy with the “Wall Street Journal calls the Ryan Plan ‘ending Medicare as we know it.'” Which Joe apparently voted for three times. And the moderator is all like OH IT IS TIME TO MOVE ON.

5:19 PM — Fuckin’ sick of the Time Nazi moderators, we really truly are.

5:20 PM — Moderator: Joe Walsh, how far can you get your tongue up Simpson’s and Bowles’ asses? Let us all talk about the deficit for EVER and EVER please!

5:22 PM — Jesse says over on the Tweeter that Ohio Treasurer and Senate candidate Josh Mandel just picked up Romney’s ‘single mothers cause Columbine’ line. That sounds just exactly like what Josh Mandel would do. Man, I wish we were watching that. That guy is hilarious.

7:26 PM — Moderator: Joe Walsh, are you sorry you are constantly yelling at your constituents, all the time, forever, because of how you are a dick?

7:28 PM — Wow! Moderator: Tammy Duckworth, do you overplay your injuries? Can I get you a band-aid for your missing legs?

7:30 PM — Show of hands: Who thinks Tammy Duckworth deserves the Nobel Peace Prize for not murdering the moderator with one finger to the throat?

7:37 PM — Of course Joe Walsh doesn’t believe in any abortions ever, no matter what, never no. Otherwise, he would not be able to continue having children he doesn’t support!

7:40 PM — We weren’t listening, is it over? Are they doing sports and weather after the break? It is over! Yasmin in the chat room confirms it! Well Tommy Thompson just called Tammy Baldwin “Joe Biden” and told her to shut up, over on the SPAN. You guys go ahead. We are going to commit seppuku in regret over the lousiness of this live-bloog. Then we are going to Cole’s for a Pimm’s cup.

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • Boojum

    Lock and load!

    • JustPixelz

      with our votes!

  • Boojum

    Somebody has been nipping at the legal marijuana a little early. "Nipping" is what one does to buds, right?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Snipping.

      • Boojum

        Ooof! The s is silent!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Sibilants are NEVER silent, dear Boojum. Only Booja.

          • Boojum

            Sally sells sibilants to the sycophants on the seashore, seriously.

          • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

            Ha! Yessssssss.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            SSSSsssssserpent!

  • Boojum

    He's going for three!

  • Boojum

    Rebecca, I think we have a private chat room. Does it seem that way to you?

  • snowpointsecret

    So it's now at the exact same time as the other debate. No matter, we all know there are binders full of women that are ready to vote against Joe Walsh anyway.

    • Boojum

      Oh hi, welcome to my fantasy.

  • Boojum

    So, there was this one time, when I was a boy, and I was live blooging some catfish out of the pond. We wore onions on our belts, which was the fashion at the time….

    • memzilla

      How many bees for an onion back then?

      • Boojum

        Onions, which were the fashion for belts, were worn sideways, so that you could stick bees in the bottom. We called nickels bees back then, because they had bees on the front.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          I don't think I like the idea of anyone sticking bees in my bottom, thank you very much.

          • Boojum

            Well now, have you tried it?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            If I thought I might like it, I would.

          • Fare la Volpe

            Dirty girl. Dirty dirty dirty.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Boojum isn't a girl. At least I don't think.

          • shelwood46

            I have rheumatoid arthritis. I cannot count how many numbnuts have seriously recommended to me that I voluntarily allow me to be stung many, many times by bees (they don't really care if it's in the butt or whatever). Because apparently excruciating pain would, i don't know, take my mind off my chronic pain? These people are insane.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Dude, you need to start hangin' out with us, instead of those numbnuts. Sheesh. All you need is to have an allergy to bee venin, and you'll never worry about rheumatoid arthritis again! they yodel, all unconscious, apparently, of the fact that you won't worry about anything ELSE either anacoda you'll be deader than a doornail.

          • Doktor Zoom

            I had a coworker years ago whose arthritis required her to use a cane; she said the her favorite "helpful suggestion" was a guy who told her she should rub WD-40 into her joints. I agreed with her that people get some batshit insane ideas. And then I googled "WD-40 Arthritis" and wept for humanity.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Of course, I had to Google it myself. Of course. (rummages around for gun and ammo)

            Goodbye, cruel Wonketz!

          • AlterNewt

            No you DON'T!!

            Just last week you told me I had to stick around until at least after the election. So let's have that gun…that's it….nice and slow like….

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            (lowers gun)

            Well, fuck. Busted again.

            (hands over weaponry)

          • AlterNewt

            That's better.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Person can't get away with shit around here.

  • imobannon

    Is it going to be on any of the CSPANs?

  • memzilla

    "Time Zones?" Sounds like some fancy Yuruppeen Soshlust invention…

  • commiegirl99

    Don't ask me, I'm fucking useless apparently.

    • Boojum

      I think I must have won some sort of prize, for getting all of the first four comments. Of course, like all Wonkette prizes, it will be a ticket for a chance to win a raffle held last month for the left over can of hobo beans.

      • rocktonsam

        lucky duck

      • bikerlaureate

        A whole can?

        Mmmmmm

    • snowpointsecret

      The perils of living in a wide country, apparently.

      Oh well, I guess that puts this at the same time as the one I'm interested in but you can't win them all right?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Oh, no, no, no, no, no … yes.

      • GemlikeFlame

        Vicar of Dibley, Dawn French, classic.

        Alice: Well the pregnancy test said I'm not pregnant. The hamster didn't turn blue.
        Geraldine: I'm sorry, I don't think I'm familiar with that particular test.
        Alice: Oh yes, it's very common in Dibley. You go out and you buy a hamster, and you wee on it. And if it turns blue, you're pregnant.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Clearly, I need to watch this after all.

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            Oh, VOD is wonderful.

          • GemlikeFlame

            The written dialog does not do Alice's inflection justice. And yes, you do. Then Last of the Summer Wine and a Red Dwarf retrospective. PBS saved my Saturday nights from being angry, drunken furniture and small appliance shattering contests.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I love Red Dwarf. I'll put VoD and Last of the Summer Wine on the list, then. It's 80 F or summat here, we'll put the movies on and eat sorbet, yay.

          • sullivanst

            "Or summat"… you've already started watching Last of the Summer Wine, haven't you?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Sorry to be teh disappoint. I learned my English out of books, and very English books they were, indeed.

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            Oh, I adore British tv. I just finished watching three seasons of Misfits.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I grew up on it, which is why I can enjoy "Yes, Minister," and the like but have the very devil of a time with American TV.

    • Cody

      uh, you must be important here

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Commiegirl? I should fucking think so.

      • Boojum

        Um, she's our Editrix. We lurves her for her scintillating prose, Apollonian wit, and boobies.

        She also carries the ban-hammer, Mjolniritrix.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Not everybody remembers that goddamn hammer's name, lemmetellya.

          • HistoriCat

            Some of us just have trouble spelling it.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Cats can't spell worth shit anyway. (Rubs the furry belly fondly) How ya been? And what is it with you cats and self-injury? Gustav broke a claw getting into bed and bled all over the pillow and sheets. Thank deities it was the CAT pillow and not the People Pillows.

        • GemlikeFlame

          The Apollonian wit via Asgard? Thor was a good boy, but about as dumb as a box of Mjolnirs.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            It's amazing how much trivia one can pick up during a measles-and-chickenpox-infected childhood, innit?

          • Jus_Wonderin

            I have heard, from a friend, that having a mild, but painfully annoying, urinary tract infection allows one to perfectly memorize an entire episode's dialog of the original Star Trek. Of note: Someone in a Red Shirt gets offed by something large and goooooey.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Oh, JW! I think I'd rather not find out!

            But doesn't EVERY ST(O) plot end in the RedShirts getting snuffed by sump'n or other?

          • sullivanst

            I thought it was only the ones that had lines. Or do I have that backwards?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I thought it was only the dudes who had NO dialog. Unless you meant "lines of …" something else. (sniff!)

    • James Michael Curley

      We love you anyway and you can learn to do the dishes.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        We can even send her home at 5 so she can cook dinner!

        • bikerlaureate

          5 Eastern, or 5 Pacific?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          THERE you are at last.

          I loved that. Does he know that many working women grab take-out en route to their single or one-parent-family dwellings? Fucking troglodytes, the lot of 'em.

    • Veritas78

      This "useless" fellow—so he's a lucky man, no? Let us know how the fucking commences.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Don't be modest! You prevent this place from breaking down into feudal anarchy, with roving packs of cliques snarking on the weak, and waves of rogue Brazilian Samba Schools threatening our tenuous hold on civilization with their Angolan rhythms and twitching thongs. And you buy us beer.

      • emmelemm

        Amen.

      • Barrelhse

        Maybe we should have one of those "sit with someone you don't like" lunch days here.

        • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

          I don't like all those furrener trolls that came and wrote messican wurds the other day. I'm gonna call the Family Research Council if you make me sit with them.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Hey, who you callin' a furrene … oh, right.

            Never mind, then. As you were.

          • Fare la Volpe

            Ah-HA!! Finally let it slip! The Brazilian trolls are your extended relations, aren't they? ADMIT IT.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            (Makes sad puppy eyes)
            (Looks around)
            (whispers) You wont tell anybody?

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Thank you, Rebecca!

    • Crank_Tango

      Just pretend you're enjoying it, I'm almost there.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      never dearest rebecca. you are our wonkette.

      also i hope you are at cole's and i am so jealous for french dip and pimm's cup.

    • jqheywood

      Two thoughts:
      1. Who's useless?
      2. Pics, or GTFO

    • vtxmcrider

      Not true. There are people who fap to your picture on a regular basis.

  • memzilla

    Ha Ha! It's never too early to wish that Joe "No Child Support For You!" Walsh gets verbally bitchslapped into a drooling coma.

    • Steverino247

      Oooooh! I like that one.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      That recipe? With or without votes?

  • MissTaken

    Time Zones are a commie-socialist plot of the UN trying to take over our clocks. Standard Time FOREVAH bitches!

    • Boojum

      Time Zone Defense libel!!!

    • Generation[redacted]

      Lousy farmers…

    • JustPixelz

      Metric time! No more of this Sumerian base 12 crap. Or seven days per week because people saw 7 things flying around in the sky.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Swatch beat.

    • FeloniousMonk

      Right. It's now 11:58 PM Greenwich Mean Time.

    • Barrelhse

      The rest of the fucking world can get with it and run on AMERICAN BUSINESS HOURS, for chrisake.

    • sullivanst

      Zulu libel!

  • sbj1964

    This election will really be about girl power.I hope she go's all Xena on his ass!

  • Gleem McShineys

    One bloog, 2 cups!
    Pimms #1 Cup, and Walsh had better wear a cup.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Put on your toe shoes, girls, and see if you can connect with his nads.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    How many debates are scheduled to start next hour?

    • snowpointsecret

      This one, Ohio Senate, I think Virginia Senate… I think Missouri Senate as well?

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        And Wishconshin. We will destroy the interwebs!

    • James Michael Curley

      AOT, K!

      • Jus_Wonderin

        I bet we can shorten that more, now, to simply "K!"

        • James Michael Curley

          Then everyone will thing they wandered into “The Breakfast Club.”

  • Fox n Fiends

    I can't wait to see how Conservatives hate the military today!

    • docterry6973

      They love the Military, and the Industrial Complex too. It is individual soldiers that they regard with contempt.

      • Steverino247

        That's a goddamn fact.

  • http://www.toastcat.com Fred_Wertham_Jr

    Just think how much better this liveblog will be with the extra prep time. If you don't pass out.

  • BlueStateLibel

    If you were a Windows machine like Mitt Rmoney, this debacle wouldn't have happened, because you would have been automatically updated!

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Probably a mac. Typical libunatic.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Aw, fuck, Editrix, man! I brought all my shit upstairs HOURS ago!

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Hmmm. Pimm's Cup. Is that the one made with cucumbers?

    If so, why?

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      It's Health Food!

  • rocktonsam

    gonna pass on this one. Tammy is genuine and a hero and will serve this country with integrity. I will not watch that douche bag Walsh for all tea in China buddy.

    The best part of him rolled down his mama'a leg.

    fuck him also

    • Barrelhse

      I suppose; but as for me, I don't like the guy at all.

  • OneYieldRegular

    A Pimm's Cup and FDSammich at Cole's sounds SO good right now, but I don't think I could enjoy it even there with Screamy Gesticulator yelling from the screen.

  • http://www.themindisaterriblething.com skmind

    Christian father of the year, right there.

  • Generation[redacted]

    Jesus, man, can you change the station? I've had a rough night, and I hate the fucking Eagles, man.

    • glasspusher

      Get out of my fucking cab!

  • MistaEko

    So the Tigers are 2 outs away from sweeping the Yankees. Are you saying this debate thing is supposed to be a bigger blowout?

  • memzilla

    O/T: Bruce and Bill are campaigning for President oBAM!a in Ohio. Parallelally speaking, the Rethuglican analogue would be GW Shrub and Ted Nugent, but for some reason… that's not being scheduled anywhere…

    • snowpointsecret

      John Glenn's come out for Obama too. They're really bringing out the big guns here.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Lindsey Graham, John McCain and Ron Johnson are all campaigning in WI for Tommy Thompson today. There's some exciting star power for ya!

    • James Michael Curley

      The Boss and the Big Dawg. A lot of the ladies (and many guys) gonna wake up in the middle of the night wondering, "That hasn't happened since I was twelve."

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Mainly because they will come to at some ungodly hour somewhere up on a tree or roof, sans pants. I notice you didn't mention THAT little detail!

        • James Michael Curley

          BT-DTBut hey, I bought khakis!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Me too. Youth. It's wasted on the young.

          • James Michael Curley

            Yet now that I have some money, nobody will sell me any.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            U CAN NOT HAZ.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Hahahahaha, fuckin' Christie must be eating his shorts. And all his other clothing. With mayonaise.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I thought that was a given.

  • Fairtackle

    "Tammy Duckworth's mechanical legs", that is my new expression for everything

    e.g. Tammy Duckworths;'s mechanical legs! that was some fine tartar sauce!
    or
    By Tammy Duckworth's mechanical legs, I'll see you rot in hell for this day's work!
    etc.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Grabthar's hammer?

  • MistaEko

    If this ever reaches anyone – in an life-imitates-life-lessons kinda thing – fucking with the Brazilians last week has given my account the herp. It's not an all consuming herp, mind you, in fact sometimes it's not a problem during the day hours, but at night I am always finding myself deleted by the admin. I just wanted to have a little fun on a Saturday night.

  • Poindexter718

    No Pimms cup or white shoes after Labor Day, editrix.
    Then again, maybe it's still summer in the central time zone.

  • ranchandsyrup

    fucking time zones? How do they work? Someone get ICP on the case.

  • BlueStateLibel

    "One binder to rule them all,
    One binder to find them,
    One binder to bring them all,
    And in the darkness bind them."

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      So who is Samwise working for this election?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Bamz, of course! We have to roll back the evil tide.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Chicago is in the same time zone as most of Mexico, and for good reason.

    • James Michael Curley

      Chicago is in whatever muthaf*kin time zone the muthaf*kin Mayor wants it to be in!

      I'm Rahm Emanuel and I approve this muthaf*kin message.

  • James Michael Curley

    Yellow Donate Button upper right hand column. Beat Joe!!
    Make it rain!
    Report back here and I'll give you a cookie.

    • finallyhappy

      I just gave her some cash. I do not need a cookie though, my husband made brownies tonight!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I wish my husband would. Fucker can bake up a storm, when he wants.

        • glasspusher

          What does he usually make for dinner? Reservations? Schwing!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I'm the cook, he's the baker. I have a slapdash approach to cooking. He's an engineer/mathematician/scientist and tends to measure things in precise quantities.

          • glasspusher

            We totally need to have a Wonkette SF bake off then or something…I sound a lot like you both in some ways…

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Have I mentioned that I'm an extremely shy, antisocial, eremitic type person? I don't really socialize. Being a gimp helps.

          • glasspusher

            I do small gatherings for friends just like you. I have several friends for which 1's a crowd. We'll stay in the kitchen.To quote Mickey Rourke in Barfly: it's not that I hate people, it's just that I feel better…when they're not around…

      • James Michael Curley

        Good, I’ve kicked in some money several times. I don’t live near her but I support her because of her commitments to veterans and veterans’ policies. The veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan are starting to serve in Congress. Since the wars have gone on for so long, some of them are into their fourth and fifth term. Those who have been elected have predominantly been supporters of Democratic Party policies and ran as Democrats. Now when a few are running as Republicans (witness Alan West) it will be interesting to continue to see how they will address the massive cuts to veterans benefits, the big increases to Tri-Care military family co-pays for health care they received 100% free before Dubya became President and appointing Department of Veterans Affairs appointees who not only implement reduced benefits and care but continue to do many care requirements on the cheap.

    • emmelemm

      Like your new avatar.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    um… so…..

    You know who else had to wait for Joe Walsh?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I know it wasn't Hitler.

    • Callyson

      His kids?

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Thank you!

  • dial_m

    We've got Daschle protege Matt Varilek debating Kristi Noem at 8 Central, too, in the SoDak.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Is it OK to scream "Beat her ass" at the top of one's lungs?

      • dial_m

        Hope so – I already did that whole gobs of times.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          So? Who won?

          • dial_m

            Kids went on strike and demanded motherly attention. o.0 I'll go ahead and say Varilek. :)

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            :) Thanks!

    • Negropolis

      I hope he brought along a breathalyzer.

  • Veritas78

    What I wanna know: Is Temple Grandin in one of those binders of women? Cuz she was into that. See, she had this device…

    • Nothingisamiss

      So I totally get all you references. Do I win a prize?!

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Will we have to sing ♪ Bear Down Chicago Bears ♪ ??

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Chicago currently

    Light Rain
    46°F

    The Wolf Howls
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEjUfu9-W-w

    • James Michael Curley

      Didn't know that collection existed. If I wasn't boycotting Amazon this week it would have been on my 'Droid alteady.

    • Callyson

      I like Chicago but no way in hell could I handle their weather.

      But dammit, now I have a craving for deep dish pizza…

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Zachary's, if you can find one nearby.

        • Callyson

          They're in the Bay Area and I'm down in LA. Damn, now I miss San Francisco…

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Aww~! There's just GOTTA be someplace with deep-dish Chicago style in the city of the angels, girl!

    • FeloniousMonk

      "Tonight we need no rest,
      We really gonna throw a mess.
      We gonna break out all the windows,
      We gonna kick down all the doors."
      … with mechanical feet.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    I DO NOT LIKE THIS HEINOUS VERMIN'S HIDEOUS FACE BECCALOU.

  • Callyson

    Message from the web producer–it will be on in a few minutes!

  • sbj1964

    Let's get this Party started!

  • Callyson

    Yasmin: Join our chat and post comments and questions. We may use some of them live on air.

    "We have a question from Callyson: Mr Walsh, why do you hate veterans?"

    • Fare la Volpe

      "Mr. Walsh, why do you hate your kids?"

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I'd really like to see him respond to that one.

        Can you set it up? I will pay munniez.

  • dial_m

    First the Taco John's, then the wine (from a box, no less). Bring it on, JW!

    • Isyaignert

      Box wine is where it's at!! Carlo Rossi Vinter's Reserve – it's cheap, tasty, and keeps fresh forevah – yeah baby!!

  • memzilla

    Only two more minutes left to break teh Intertubez, Editrix!

  • Callyson

    It's on!

  • Callyson

    Cigarettes booze and gambling–now I know why Wonkette is liveblogging *this* debate…

  • Callyson

    Oh crap, Tammy has to share the stage with local news? Yawn…

  • Close_Read

    Hmmm…. should I come out of my binder to watch this thing?

    • Blueb4sinrise

      If you have sammiches, yes.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Once she comes out, we hustles her into the kitchen. She makes sammiches.

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Gotta let her go home at 5, though.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I can't find your comment! BAH! HUMBUG! (flails, Mittlike)

        • Close_Read

          <…puts on her frilly apron for doing wimmn's work…> Two ham on wrys, commin' up.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I'm surprised (and grateful) you didn't call us Hams on Wry.

          • Blueb4sinrise

            Just now got back to this….I'm grateful she didn't de-nut all of us with votes.

  • Callyson

    Finally, the death match is on…

  • rocktonsam

    I'm watching the other Tammy, in Wisconsin debating old drunky Tommy.

    MITTENS AND TOMMY HAVE CAUGHT UP YOU GUYS THEY NEED OUR HELP!

    • Callyson

      Sent her a few bucks yesterday–hope it helps.

      • rocktonsam

        cool, thanks!

    • commiegirl99

      Should we switch over? Is it any good?

      • rocktonsam

        yes she has called out Tommy for TELLING LIES

      • rocktonsam

        You get channel 21 in your parts?

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Geezus! I read that as "in your pants"!

          • emmelemm

            So did I, man, so did I.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Good, so I'm not the only prevert in the house.

          • rocktonsam

            we all need channel 21 in our parts. donate today

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Callyson already guilt-tripped me, dood. I'm waiting for Mr. Moneybags to get done with his errands, then put the donation on HIS credit card.

          • emmelemm

            I also watch a lot of Craig Ferguson, because I stay up way too late (for someone with a day job).

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Nuthin' wrong wit dat. I haz no teevee. But I think Craig Ferguson is a smartass redhead person wut I saw on my computer oncet.

          • emmelemm

            Methinks you're thinking of Conan O'Brien. (Also funny.) Craig Ferguson is a smartass Scottish person. Who says, "In my pants!" on his show.

          • viennawoods13

            I watch Craig on the Youtube. He's great to watch whilst getting ready for work in the morning. I loves me some Craig and Geoff.

          • Biff
          • sullivanst

            I miss low-budget Geoff.

          • Biff

            The night he became self-aware was a milestone event, though!

          • sullivanst

            I did enjoy the guest voices.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Oh, yeah, him! (Hugs the Biffster)

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            You have both been commenting on wonkette for way, way too long.

          • sullivanst

            Geezus? Wouldn't the appropriate exclamation be "Balls"? The hell, man?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Whado I know, I just hang around here and irritate everybody.

          • sullivanst

            We're just jealous of your enormous p-ness.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Oh, that old thing. (beams)

          • viennawoods13

            There goes my penis!

    • Callyson

      Also–did you see this?

      WAUSAU, Wis. — Wisconsin GOP Senate candidate Tommy Thompson sold his stock in companies that do business with Iran on Thursday, after The Huffington Post reported his significant investments.

      http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/18/tommy-th

      Pass it on….

  • chascates

    A Pimms Cup is fine but if you have the gin try the Corpse Reviver #2 or The Last Word.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      We're all out of the hard stuff.

      Got a pineal gland?

  • Callyson

    Their answers will not be timed

    Oh crap, I hope that deadbeat does not hog the air time…

  • Callyson

    Tammy!

  • Callyson

    Deadbeat Dad looks scared…

    (mouth waters)

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    He worked with (fellow?) dropouts.

  • snowpointsecret

    Josh Mandel attacking "career politicians", ignoring that he started campaigning for this right after he got the treasurer seat. Already brought out the lie about "raising Ohio's credit rating" too. This is pretty painful already.

  • Callyson

    "Campaigns can get personal"

    No, fucker, *candidates* can *choose* to get personal–and you are Exhibit A for that…

    Asshole.

  • Close_Read

    Let's meet the candidates.

    Ms. Duckworth is a distinguished public servant and honored veteran,

    Mr. Walsh is a Sagittarius and enjoys sitting on park benches and cursing at strangers..

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Eying little girls with bad intent?

  • Cheburashka64

    Life has not been good to him, so far.

    • Boojum

      Hell yeah, yeah.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Congeniality? lol all around

  • Dashboard Buddha

    I look at that picture and I think, now there's a set of teeth I'd like to kick in…with votes.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Steel-toed votes. (This being a blue collar state.)

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Hey, DbB, long time no see! Can I rub your bald head for good luck?

  • Callyson

    "I think that as a country we need to get educated"

    Patronizing much?

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    A "timeout" when Obama was elected? Not even waiting to see what he did? I wonder why?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    From WI: Tammy delivered a nice opening statement about education growing jobs etc. Tommy laughed. prick.

    • rocktonsam

      tommy is a has been and responsible for part b! drunky drunk jerk

      • sullivanst

        So drunk he gets his d's backwards?

    • rocktonsam

      thing about thompson, when was gov he work very well with the state legislators and things were well. since he left to work for boosh he became a huge millionaire being a lobby.guy

    • Callyson

      Sent her a few bucks last night–hope it helps.

    • Callyson

      Speaking about WI–did you see this?

      WAUSAU, Wis. — Wisconsin GOP Senate candidate Tommy Thompson sold his stock in companies that do business with Iran on Thursday, after The Huffington Post reported his significant investments.

      http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/18/tommy-th

      Pass it on…

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Done.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Will not raise taxes, but will talk about any other options. Translation from weaseltalk: "I will only discuss spending cuts."

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Further translation: "screwing the poor"

  • Callyson

    "Congressman Walsh, let's talk about fiscal responsibility"

    ROTFLMAO! ROTFLMAO! ROTFLMAO! ROTFLMAO!

  • Zango Crudmonger

    Fiscal responsibility -NASCAR sponsorships, he dodged that.

  • http://lookatthisfuckingcentrist.wordpress.com Both Sides Do It

    IS THAT THE SET FOR CHECK PLEASE?

    The lovely quirky restaurant review show in which four average joes pick their favorite restaurant and they all go to each and then gather afterwards to bitch about them?

    The one in which a certain state senator named BARRY O'BAMA appeared and he chose a cajun/southern restaurant and everyone else hated it and he just sat there and smiled and was all "I like it, good enough for me, hahaha"?

    DO NOT SULLY THE FEEDING GROUNDS OF YOUNG BARRY O'BAMA WITH THIS DEAD BEAT FATHER'S FLOPSWEAT, CHICAGO PBS AFFILIATE

  • JustPixelz

    Walsh voted for NASCAR sponsorship?!? Is NASCAR running short of money?

  • snowpointsecret

    Mandel: "I'll be translating Washington-speak for Brown a lot tonight."

    Ugh, Joe Walsh might be more bearable.

    "I don't believe in lowering taxes for the rich and corporations."

    Then again, maybe not…

  • Will_Panic

    It's looking like Walsh and Romney are hitting the same tanning salon. So orange, so very, very orange.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      I'm starting to wonder if Addison's disease is epidemic among repubs. It makes your skin shiny and tan.

  • Callyson

    Oh Christ, this question about Tammy's independence is irritating. This guy may as well just come out and say "who's to say you won't really be controlled by the menfolk for whom you used to work?"

  • Cody

    i want to sit on his face

    • Boojum

      God, I hope you meant with votes.

      • Cody

        yes, of course, with votes..

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Will you tell him you love him?

          • glasspusher

            Life can be fine if joe loses this time, sooooo…

    • FeloniousMonk

      Is no one around here aware that many men enjoy having their faces sat on? That is, they do. Them over there!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Many *straight and bisexual* men, maybe.

        • FeloniousMonk

          Well, yes, I did mean sat upon by a lady. But I don't know Cody's gender, do I? Do I know my own gender, online? Am I a butterfly dreaming of being a man dreaming of being a Wonkette?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Was that a story from Lao Tzu? Or was it from, maybe the Gita?

          • FeloniousMonk

            Damfino. Probably Lao Tzu. Lessee — oh, Zhuangzi. With many alternate spellings, but not Lao Tzu.

      • Steverino247

        I love to have girly parts right "there" over my face. Yum!

    • Negropolis

      I think you meant "I want to sHit on his face."

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        That's the ticket!

  • Callyson

    I KNEW that fucker would interrupt Tammy at some point. Asshole.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      He's aping Mittens.

  • Callyson

    EXCUSE ME, asshole moderator, but Tammy deserves time to respond to this attack…

    This guy is worse than Jim Lehrer…

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I'm beginning to think Teh LayDeez do a WAY better job kicking ass and enforcing rules. Has it always been this way?

      • Callyson

        Don't know offhand, but I'd like to slap this guy…yeah yeah, with votes…

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Me too. He's as useless as a refried turd.

  • Callyson

    You don't cut medicare to save it…you look at the F-35

    Yes!

  • Close_Read

    He's clearly practiced his indoors voice.

  • Callyson

    YES! Tammy called out that asshole on the $716B lie!

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Ah, a good little clubbing of Walsh with AARP.

  • snowpointsecret

    "If you're sitting at a computer, get onto Google Translate."

    Mandel, you are a total prick. You make Romney look nice by comparison… At least neither has interrupted each other though, I see that's a very rare case.

  • chascates

    Define 'family responsibility'.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Hey Seniors, Joe Walsh wants to 'Premium Support' you in the ass!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Nice question, Editrix.

  • Callyson

    Ooooh, Tammy is going after him on the prescription drug bit…

  • Callyson

    DAMMIT, this moderator is not letting Tammy have equal time. This is really pissing me off.

    • memzilla

      I was JUST about to post that that asshat is IN THE TANK for Joe Walsh. Is anybody timing the airtime the candidates are getting?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Talking over her, dissing her, treating her like a gurl. NO?

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      i couldn't listen. like romney, walsh make me stabby.

      i am listening to xrt and reading you all instead.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Mr. Ryan wants to give seniors options? Will that be a choice of cardboard boxes to take to the freeway overpass hotel?

    • memzilla

      Yes! You'll have a choice between refrigerator box and washer-dryer box!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      At the Green Hotel

      Pass me the dog food

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Mandatory Spending. Is that like child support?

    • sullivanst

      In that Walsh wants to cut it, yes.

  • Boojum

    They are making Walsh answer questions about how things are different and not the same? Unfair!!!

  • Cody

    this is so exciting

  • Callyson

    Tammy is knocking this $1B in cuts question out of the park…oh yeah!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Wow, Tammy is KICKING ASS! She's got the figures down to the penny.

    • Callyson

      Unlike Deadbeat Dad, she knows what the hell she is talking about.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        She sure do.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    OMFG Tammy gives a passel of specifics while Joe gives bromides. The moderator must be used to being tossed under many buses.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      She was fducking GREAT! X bil for this, Y bil for that, Z bil for the other and here's the totals, all while that fuckwit sat there flapping his lip and prepuce in time.

  • Zango Crudmonger

    She's talking about cuts to military contractors, big pharma, and oil co.'s. Walsh – eliminate capital gains. Christ, he's a Koch drone.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Oh, my gosh, simpers Joe as he whines about the flat tax.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Joe: If there's a God, why in Her infinite wisdom did she make you such a venal unattractive child-depriving fuckhead?

  • Callyson

    Joe Walsh is coming out and saying that he wants to get rid of the guaranteed benefit of Medicare. Yeah, that'll go over well with the oldz…

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Make Mitt Romney pay his fair share. Nice, Tammy!

  • Callyson

    God given rights and God given freedoms

    Oh good God, what a vague answer…

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    What is this gaaad-given shit?

  • Fairtackle

    god-given face-pooper"

  • Callyson

    "Congressman, some people say you are a prick. Do you regret acting like an asshole?"

    "No."

  • memzilla

    How about our G-d-given right to not be ruled by simpering fascist asshats, Mr. Joe You're-My-First-Example Walsh?

  • Zango Crudmonger

    Gawd, cut him off, he's rambling.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    So Becca, when is your kid shooting up a high school with an AK-47?

    • commiegirl99

      Nah man, that is way too much work. His mom's couch isn't going to lie on itself.

      • Negropolis

        Bwhahahaha!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Yup. Sounds like a teenager.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        And all the food in the fridge ain't gonna eat itself.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Man. Trying to feed two teenage boys is enough to put ANYbody in the poorhouse. Those guys could wipe out an entire loaf of bread for breakfast. With butter, jam, cheese, eggs, milk, cereal, and fruit. Like feeding the fucking elephants at the zoo.

          • Steverino247

            Raised two with Mrs. Steverino and you forgot to include their football teammates in that count of elephants.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Oh god I didn't want to remember. Those were the days. The car was ALWAYS full of boy socks, underpants, shoes, game gear … it's hard to believe they survived to adulthood.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Apparently, the site admins don't care for my sentiments about stinky teenage boy shoes and sports gear cluttering up the car. Henngggh.

          • orygoon

            It was the funniest damned thing when mine turned into teenagers. They were the pickiest kids ever that trod the earth when small–pickier than I was when I was a kid, and that's saying something. Both of them, even though they tried hard not to be like each other in any way. Couldn't take them anywhere, they were so bad, and offended all my friends. But they they got biggish. And they got hungry, man. They had their fucking grilled cheese sammiges or whatever, but I started to notice that The Heir was watching Mr. Goon and me eating. Every night. Real food–enchiladas, or curries, or, you know, something with mushrooms on it. He watched us eat. Hungrily. Next think you know, he's eating it all. Then a few years later? The Spare, ditto. Amazing how that works, although I do know some grownup people (mostly men, but also my aunt Karen) who still eat like children–no veggies, no onions, no mushrooms, no spices, etc. etc.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I still remember when the youngest one accused us in a tremulous, tear-filled voice of being totally gross monsters for eating sushi because we were killing all the poor little baby fishies. By the time he was a teenager, he couldn't get enough of the stuff.

          • viennawoods13

            My sons both considered onions to be the white orbs of death throughout their childhood. They still aren't crazy about them, but the younger one is in his first year of chef training, and they are making him eat more adventurously. He came home a couple of weeks ago raving about the tomato and roasted pepper soup they fed him.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Geezus, this fucker JoeWalsh is starting to sound downright treacly. Ew.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Also, let's note that the two Columbine shooters came from two-parent households. Sigh.

  • Callyson

    Overplaying your wounds…oh, fuck anyone who says that.

    Oh, it came from Walsh–go figure,

  • memzilla

    "Overplaying her military service?" WTF?!

  • Callyson

    Chicago Tribune endorsed Tammy–good.

  • snowpointsecret

    "Waaaah Brown attacked me" while attacking himself. He also seems to only have three things to say. "Washington insiders", "Brown attacks me", and "bailouts are all evil." This is getting ugly quickly, Brown's getting more rude as well as he gets more annoyed at dealing with Mandel.

    No talk about God though, so I guess we win so far!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    I suspect if there weren't witnesses, Ms. Duckworth would already have choked the living shit out of Walsh, with votes.

  • Callyson

    Tammy volunteers to serve in Iran. Way to highlight Walsh's wimpiness…hee hee hee…

  • snowpointsecret

    Mandel has literally said "career politicians" 11 times in 31 minutes. Brown bringing up Ronald Reagan to help Obama. This is seriously the most bizarre debate I've seen…

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Walsh sez we should you drones "abroad". What not at your house?

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Perhaps in hope he'll start writing child support checks?

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      "use" I meant. "you'se"?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Yeah, that was kinda weird, huh?

  • Callyson

    Walsh is full of shit on the DREAM Act…

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Captain Dan has magic legs!

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Tammy really doesn't like Joe, does she.

    • tracyhasfun

      Joe smells like old cheese. She is being polite.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I don't wanna get close enough to find out.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Not even Joe's mother really likes Joe.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        After listening to him whine, I can't blame her. If he was this way from the time he popped out of the cooch, I'm sure she has plenty of reason to fucking hate him by now.

    • Negropolis

      So, she has something in common with 99.99% of Americans. Good.

    • Isyaignert

      Can you imagine being married to that angry pustule? I'd be in prison right now because I would have killed that mofo in his sleep.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Shit I'm not even *married* to the fucker and I want to choke the bejaysus out of him (with large puffy soft velvet TOYS — and votes).

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    how does one "legalize" people? are some people "illegal"?

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Christ, this guy is fucking SLIMY.

    • snowpointsecret

      Seems like political sludge is common tonight.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I'm disgusted. Not only does he lie, you can almost see him metamorphosing into some revolting oozle-up sluglike creature as he sways in a brazen attempt to hypnotize watchers … fuck, this is some good shit I'm smoking.

        Sorry, wut?

        • Fare la Volpe

          We're getting a vape for the house, and I mentioned that a Wonkette friend of mine (hint: you) swears by it. That was all the roommates needed to hear. Appreciations all around.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Aw, thanks, sweetie!

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      right? we've been working for tammy (not in her district but mine's safe) and i cannot WAIT for this election to be over. i never ever want to see or hear from this tool again.

      he should be illegal.

  • Callyson

    "Thank goodness he has amazing health care"

    Nice, Tammy…

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    update from WI: Tommy is being a whiny overbearing baby.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Haha, losers! I have the package with the CSPAN Red Zone Channel, which shows ALL of the gaffes, failed attacks and verbal roundhouses of ALL the debates happening tonight! Jon Gruden and Shaquille O'Neal are providing the color and analysis.

    • docterry6973

      Man, what do they charge for that? Cause the football season is a quarter over and they still want full price for that Red Zone channel.

    • emmelemm

      I thought "Red Zone" would imply that it's the porn offshoot of C-SPAN. (In other words, DO NOT WANT.)

    • Humberto_Echo

      Does it have creep shots of Ann?

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Yea Tammy supporting the court axing DOMA.

  • Callyson

    Oh FFS, of course this asshole opposes same sex marriage. Much better to keep marriage between a woman and a deadbeat dad…

    Asshole.

  • Callyson

    Life of a woman is not an exception? Um, what?

    Pants on fire…

    • sullivanst

      "Two deaths are better than one" is official Catholic doctrine. Is Walsh a Papist?

      ETA: Sure 'nuff, a divorced, remarried Catholic. Glad to see he's not picking and choosing at all, nosireebob.

  • chascates

    Take a look at Breitbart.com later. That wonderful new film 'Hating Breitbart' debuts tomorrow and they'll have to spend half of their sites propping up that tower of bullshit.

  • snowpointsecret

    Moderator: "You're over time, senator."
    Brown: "I'm sorry." *stops right away*
    Mandel: "Calm down, senator."
    Crowd: "Boooooooo."
    Moderator: "No reactions, please."

    Is everyone going to end this in a riot? Throwing votes at each other, of course?

    • commiegirl99

      Where you watching? It's not on my SPAN

      • snowpointsecret

        It's on a local station, a spinoff of a local CBS affilate. I'm not sure where the livestream is, but it's ending now, sadly… There's a third debate coming next week, I'm sure, so I'll look.

    • James Michael Curley

      Good, that little attempt at a Romney ploy caused Brown to address him as Senator.
      Rule number one of prepping a challenger who will debate an incumbent:
      AVOID USING HIS TITLE!
      Exception to the rule: Always use Mr. President and never anything else when addressing the President in a debate or you face turning off people who have respect for the President regardless on his policies.

    • Callyson

      I fucking HATE it when people try to pull a power play by telling someone to calm down. I make it a point to *really* act like a bitch when someone tries that crap with me. Too bad Brown couldn't have done the same…

      • sullivanst

        Thankfully it's been a while since my step-daughter told my wife to calm down. That always used to be the most effective way to turn raised voices into nuclear screaming matches.

  • Callyson

    YES! Tammy did not let that asshole interrupt her!

    And why am I not surprised he's one of those legitimate rape assholes?

  • Zango Crudmonger

    Rape! Drink! Are we drinking to capped rape language?

  • Callyson

    Oh, I have a ragefest now…my poor dogs are looking at me with a worried expression on their faces. I'd better duck out and give them an extra walk once these two are done…

    • memzilla

      "If it makes her so mad, why does she keep watching it?"

      • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

        "Perhaps she needs medical care. Woof."

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Poor li'l puppers! Give their ears an extra rub for me.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Yeah, Tammy! She got in quick shiv on the wonderful health care the Senator has (Mark Kirk).

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "Hawaii" drink?

  • Close_Read

    That was it?

  • Callyson

    Shit, I didn't know Tammy was on food stamps when she was a kid–so was I! Now I am *really* glad I sent her a few bucks!

    OK, I'll circle back and read everyone's snark in a few minutes…

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    So they had congenial relations?!?

  • Boojum

    Aye!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    time for other Tammy

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Here's hoping there's a process server delivering child support papers who is standing just outside the studio and will give Joe a big hand.

    • James Michael Curley

      Unfortunately I think that particular contempt citation has been settled although at the point he still is 'negotiating' whether his overall support requirements are proper.

  • snowpointsecret

    "We don't want our health care to be like it is in Europe or Canada."

    How would Mandel know at all? He hasn't been in this state continually for long at all. Ugh this is really ugly now.

    • chascates

      I'd be tickled shitless if I had healthcare like those unfortunates in either Canada or Europe.

    • docterry6973

      The hell I don't. The oligarchs hope and pray that Americans never realize how good the Canadians, Swedes, and Germans have it.

    • James Michael Curley

      I wish I had gone on a Canadian or European healthcare program twenty-five years ago. Then my life expectancy would not be 38th in the world and below Macau, Costa Rica, Puerto Rico, Chili and Cuba.

    • sullivanst

      I had shorter average wait times to see my NHS Doctor for free than I do for the one I have to pay a small fortune for the privilege of being unable to get an appointment with and having to take the PA instead here. I'd much prefer European or Canadian healthcare.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        When Romney starts yawping about how anybody can go to the ER to get health care he has no idea that a visit to the ER can last for 24 hours or more, because of triage. The patients with, you know, bleeding gunshot wounds, sucking chest wounds, severed arteries, missing limbs, and Code Blues tend to be seen first. I have to call my (gold-plated expensive insurance plan network) doctor up to 3 weeks in advance for an appointment. As I pointed out to his minions, illnesses do not usually schedule advance appointments. And after 3 weeks of needing medical services, I'll be either cured or dead. Health care in many Third World countries is better than this.

        • sullivanst

          Yeah, that bullshit from Mitt was outrageous. Didn't he falsely assert that the hospital or government would just eat the cost of an ER visit, too? WRONG! The patient will get the bill, if they can't pay they'll be forced into bankruptcy, the bill collectors will extract whatever blood they can from the stone, some states will than have an uncompensated care pool which might cough up a few pennies, and then the remainder of the balance will be passed on to the insurance companies in the form of higher rates. But all this only after the lucky few who escape the ER alive are harassed to the point they wish they hadn't.

          Plus also too, EMTALA basically only requires the ER to do the minimum necessary to make sure you don't die on their doorstep after they dump you there. They will not provide ongoing care for chronic conditions like COPD, HIV, diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure or cancer – conditions where the prognosis is dramatically different if they are treated on an ongoing basis versus allowing them to bring you right to death's door.

          And don't even get me started on parking or ambulance volleyball.

          What I'm saying is, Mitt can go fuck himself with a large cactus covered in Dave's Ultimate Insanity Sauce.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            That parking link didn't work dood.

            But I have some very hot sauce from Trinidad I can lend you. And my neighbour has cacti.

          • sullivanst

            I guess it gotten eaten by the email-to-comment interface. Parking was supposed to be stopped back in 2007, but the ERs got around that by the genius move of calling it something else.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Thank you for that link. Truly, I've been a slug of late. I used to be so active politically. Y'awl put me to shame.

          • sullivanst

            I'm slightly annoyed, back in 2009 there was a diary on DKos about how ERs would find an excuse for how they couldn't treat the uninsured person that ambulance brought in, and refer them to another ER, and this could happen repeatedly until either the patient died or the EMTs stabilized them to the point EMTALA no longer required further treatment. I was going to link that on "volleyball" (I can't remember if that's the term the diarist used, but it seems descriptive to me), but I can't find it.

            Point is, anyone claiming EMTALA is an adequate safety net is completely ignorant and/or utterly heartless. It's hard for Mitt to claim ignorance given Romneycare, so we're left with utterly heartless (but apparently trying to disguise it with a ruse of complete ignorance).

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            We have that going on right now as it is. For a while, EMTs were schlepping gunshot patients between Alta Bates and Highland. Repeatedly. One notable case that I can no longer remember the details of resulted in an elderly Alzheimer's patient with a colostomy bag being dumped on a street in LA.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I'm reading about student revolts in the 1950s in Asia, and for some reason I just want to strangle everybody today. It'll pass.

          • sullivanst

            I just read pt. 39 of Chronicling Mitt's Mendacity, so I just want to strangle him. I doubt that will pass.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            No. It'll be like that giant dildo that Chinese dude stuck up his butt. You wish it would pass, but you know it won't, and it'l hurt like hell and tear you up sump'n awful.

            I wish there was a pill I could take to make Mitt and his minions disappear.

  • Close_Read

    It took me all this time to figure out what that annoying clicky sound was.

    • Zango Crudmonger

      Care to share? Kept hearing it myself.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        live chat thingy.

    • Callyson

      Yeah, it got on my nerves also, but I didn't hear it as much as the debate went on.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Tommy's drunk. Can't say "Libya".

  • snowpointsecret

    Mandel is a supporter of marriage between one man and one woman. However, he says he'll represent everyone. He also called vegetarians a religion…

    Brown supports giving equal rights to everyone.

    Sorry about going off about Ohio here, I've got it on live TV here and it's still quite important.

    • finallyhappy

      what a moron- Vegetarians aren't a religion- Pastafarians are- plus Mandel is an idiot homophobe and I hereby place him under Herem

      • MosesInvests

        Got the declaration written out in ATBa"SH?

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      thank you for updating us. I was trying to watch 2 at once. erf.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    At the very end of the WI debate, Tommy and Tammy shook hands. Tommy then immediately wiped his hand on his pants bcz he had touched a ghey.

    • Callyson

      Oh. My. God.

      PLEASE tell me the camera got a good shot of that! Because that is the sort of thing that moves mushy middle voters away from a candidate…

    • OzoneTom

      Wait — are all Tammy's ghey or what?

  • Humberto_Echo

    Joe Walsh remind me of a tape worm – but without the charm.

    • James Michael Curley

      But he has the teeth.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Tommy Thompson reminds me of a drunk, but without the charm.

  • Beowoof

    I couldn't watch either one. Not because Tommy and Joe would make me gag, rather I was out working to get Louise Slaughter reelected. I feel better about myself now.

    • James Michael Curley

      Good, I thought with North Buffalo and Rochester still in the district her reelection had a pretty chance but I guess she is being pelted with rocks from people who have lost their sources for insider trading info. Still think it should have been called the "Protect Tom Delay's Deep Pockets but Fuck Martha Stewart Act."

      • Beowoof

        She is having a tough fight, Karl Rove's American Crossroads PAC has called her every name in the book over the last week on the local TV shows. They are even running that crap during football games. There is lots of outside money making local broadcasters happy. So if you're in the area, and need some lawn signs etc, we can get them for you. Want to make some calls, I can hook you up with her team, which is an awesome group.

        • James Michael Curley

          I’m in NJ but appreciate your information. I am doing work for three candidates while still trying to survive soon to be implemented company closing. So I can’t take on any extra tasks.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Good on ya! Priorities, man.

  • Come here a minute

    Oh wow, Tammy Baldwin and Tammy Duckworth are two different people. The more you know.

    How many legs do they have, between them?

    • James Michael Curley

      They wouldn't qualify for the Three Legged Race at the Congressional Picnic.

    • Negropolis

      A binder-full?

  • gullywompr

    Well, I missed it because commuting. On the plus side, the Al Smith dinner is about to start! I'm looking forward to the lighthearted quips from the candidates.

    • Zango Crudmonger

      Mittens tithing BURN, five kids, dad's from Mexico – sure you're not Catholic?

  • snowpointsecret

    According to wikipedia about the last Ohio debate, which was like the 12th place I checked but the first to have any sort of information:

    A debate will take place Thursday, October 25 at 7 p.m. in Cincinnati. NBC White House Correspondent Chuck Todd will moderate the debate with anchor/political reporter Colleen Marshall from WCMH in Columbus, anchor Sheree Paolello from WLWT in Cincinnati, and political reporter Tom Beres from WKYC in Cleveland. It will be broadcast live on all Ohio NBC affiliates.

    I'd be shocked if there weren't livestreams on NBC affiliate websites for that on one of the nine stations…

    • docterry6973

      Chuckles Todd as moderator? Be still my heart! The candidates will have a hard time getting any camera time with that doofus on the stage.

  • DustyBowlBlues

    Two operating system upgrades, a $100 investment in computer shit and two fake identities later, I'm back on the wonket. I was not banned, according to our esteemed editor. Intense Debate sucks. I think I was building up too many pees and they were determined to humble me, so ID took them all away.

    Have I missed anything?

  • Humberto_Echo

    Joe Wash – another failed, frustrated artist that found his calling in hatemongering.

  • DustyBowlBlues

    I thought I was back, but now my comment has to be approved. Is this a conspiracy? During my exile in intense debate hell, did the wonket become overrun by Republithugs?

  • Humberto_Echo

    Joe Wash placard above his loo.

    Oily palms

    Behind on child support

    Gonna lose

  • Zango Crudmonger

    Bamz is up on AE Smith dinner. Mitts actually made me laugh, hate to admit.

    • rocktonsam

      ain't one god damn black guy up there besides bamz

    • Barrelhse

      Mitt farted?

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Where is it being broadcast?

  • Zango Crudmonger

    Monday's debate on foreign policy: Spolier Alert – we got bin Laden! woot.

  • James Michael Curley

    Mitt Romney has declared that on Day One he will eliminate the costly artificial limbs given to veterans and replace them with pegs. In an effort to provide the job training for veterans the Republican House voted down last month Mitt Romney will teach them to whittle the pegs themselves.

    • FeloniousMonk

      I came expecting light-hearted snark, and got a bellyful of Dean Swift. Makes for a more somber evening than I expected.

    • Steverino247

      You're not exaggerating by much. Fortunately, the VA hires a lot of vets who will find creative ways to steal shit so that doesn't happen.

      • James Michael Curley

        Time to start reminding people that not only did I serve in Vietnam, but I worked in the post office before that.Still, it’s a sad story if one finds that some guy or gal who had a leg blown off needs to sneak into a closet to be able to walk like a man again.Guys I talked to last month were telling me the wait for prosthetics is four or five months then a couple weeks delay before serious therapy started.

        • Steverino247

          Depends on where you are. Some of the prosthetists are themselves "customers" and if they think the parts are going to disappear, I'm sure they'll start squirreling parts away for future use. I was an expert scrounger in the Army, a skill which has amazed more than one civilian supervisor since.

          Sup: "Where did you get that?!"
          S247: "Do you really need to know?"
          Sup: "Uh, no. I don't think I do."
          S247: "Good. Then you might get other hard-to-find objects arriving in the office from time to time."

          Oh, and welcome home to you, Sir.

          • James Michael Curley

            I had to fight with the XO to be able to stop flying even though the Army decided I couldn’t pass a flight physical because I had no depth perception (still don’t). When they took me off daily rotation they put me in the helicopter parts department with a WO I knew from the states who was on his second or third tour and well versed in the arts of back door supply. When he went MIA I found myself in de facto command of a platoon of one with people from all over I corps who did not want the system to close down. I was short and decided I had to close the operation down when a guy shows up with a 18/20 foot aluminum Boston Whaler with twin out boards and we were 28 miles inland in the Central Highlands. Never did find out who was supposed to get the damn boat.

          • Steverino247

            One time a Nike-Hercules radar system showed up at my intel unit. Since I used to repair them before getting into intel, they all suspected me.

          • James Michael Curley

            I was lucky since being in Vietnam at the time there were very few ‘trades’ which were not welcomed, providing stuff the lousy supply system could not; and everyone knew I wasn’t benefiting from it. It was just doing what was needed.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    You have to admit, he finally got a haircut.

  • Negropolis

    I didn't watch this, and I just got here, but did he finally just up-and-out call Tammy a bitch/cunt, yet, as is silently his wont?

  • LibrarianX

    Looks like s scoutmaster.

  • Humberto_Echo

    I'm not saying I ran into a bug-eyed Walsh on 48th and State saying I'll suck your dick for a 20. I'm just asking questions.

    • Isyaignert

      Well, he'll probably be out of a jerb soon. Maybe he can get unemployment for a while while he looks for another jerb as an overpaid @sshole.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        He's not very employable. Not much in the way of paper qualifications (he's got an MA in some not-terribly-valued field with too many applicants for too few jobs), shitty employment record, terrible record as a congresscritter, plus he's stupid. Pretty boys are only employable as long as they stay pretty and know how to kiss the right ass. He's not pretty any more and he's damned fucking annoying, so unless Mom & Dad do something, he'll be offering blow jobs on the street corners.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Benzodiazepines? (beams hopefully)

  • Barrelhse

    Is that like pheromones?

    • sullivanst

      Rapier than that.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i hope the '12 election sees the beginning of the great american flushing of the baggers.

  • sullivanst

    I would imagine you'd be too busy writing Fouchault's Phendulum to invent stuff…

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Oh, no, he's just an Echo of the other Umberto.

      • sullivanst

        I get that.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Thought you might.

          • viennawoods13

            Love that book.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            It's *such* a delight to hang out with bibliophiles.

  • ttommyunger

    Words fail when I think of how glad I am to have missed this clusterfuck.

  • Barrelhse

    "Joe" "Walsh".

    • Isyaignert

      I know Joe Walsh, I've met Joe Walsh and this dude is no fukkin' Joe Walsh.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    Our punishment is that someone actually recorded this. For posterity.

  • http://www.wonkette.com/ FlownOver

    OT: Just heard a replay of Romney's Al Smith remarks – What a mean-spirited dickwad.

    And who's his joke writer? Bob Fucking Orben?

    • ElPinche

      Romney's bloodline is filled to the brim with chicken hawk , pansy assholes.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Jonathan.

    • James Michael Curley

      I thought about that but its so rare.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Well, he WAS Dean of St. Patrick's in Dublin, dear. Lovely man, if a mite outre in his, um, culinary recommendations.

  • ElPinche

    Speaking of cunts, I've summed up the whole Tagg Romney as an asshole surrogate ordeal in photoshop format:
    http://i.imgur.com/r4y2j.jpg

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Nice work, Pinche!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    O/T but an arrest has been made in the Harrisonburg VA incident where a guy did a drive-by dumpster deposit of a bunch of voter registration forms. It was a Republican contractor, though in his LinkedIn site he calls himself an employee of the RNC.

    I'd say that when the water rises it makes all the snakes come out — but snakes are undeserving of such a slight.
    http://blogs.nbc12.com/decisionvirginia/2012/10/a

    • Negropolis

      Totally off topic, and I've been here long enough that I should know this, but what is the story behind your screenname?

  • Isyaignert

    Anyone notice how Joe flips the bird to the people about 40 seconds into the video? This jerk-off needs to go sodomize himself with a barbed wire baseball bat and then go sit in a vat of lemon juice and salt while he contemplates his myriad of sins.

  • Isyaignert

    I was just quoting from "Stranger in a Strange Land" the other day. Maybe it's time to read that book again.

    • James Michael Curley

      I reread it a year ago.  Found some of my attitudes to its philosophy were a bit different than in 1968/9 years ago. Of course then it was often while lounging in bed with a young Army nurse and last year it was on the bus to work in Jersey City.

  • DahBoner

    Whoa

  • DahBoner

    Congressman Joe Walsh

    Dopespotting.

    O HAI…

  • TribecaMike