TWAS BEAUTY KILLED THE BEAST  3:58 pm October 18, 2012

Lazy Slut Who Did No Work Dinesh D’Souza ‘Resigns’ From Million Dollar Christian College Prez Gig

by Josh Fruhlinger

Boating off into the sunsetDinesh D’Souza: Not having the greatest of all possible weeks? Just a couple days after the revelation that got engaged to and/or shared a hotel with his new lady without technically getting divorced from his old one (and also that lady has a husband too, or at least did recently, ha ha) comes the bad news that he’s going to “resign” from his job as president of The King’s College. (We put “resign” in quotes because “he” “made” the decision after the school’s board of trustees met for like two days straight, presumably deciding the wording of the resignation statement “he” would write.) Was he forced out because of his sexual shenanigans? Sure! But also because he was doing a not very good job of being president of The King’s College? Yes, that too!

David Sessions at the chained-to-Newsweek’s-rotting-corpse Daily Beast is all over this story today! He notes in passing that D’Souza was making a cool million dollars a year to be president of The King’s College. This is a Christian college whose “campus” was three floors of the Empire State Building up until this year, when it moved into a new building in the Financial District. It has 21 full-time faculty members, and, depending on which part of its Wikipedia entry you believe, it has either around 250 students or “more than 400.”

So: pretty small school! And yet million-dollar salary! We’re sure he really works hard to earn it though, because he’s a conservative not a liberal whiner and a maker not a taker oh wait what’s that you say David Sessions at the Daily Beast?

According to several sources at the college, members of the King’s faculty and board alike had grown hostile to D’Souza’s presidency over what they saw as a failure to earn his reported million-dollar salary. D’Souza has spent much of the past few months promoting his documentary, 2016: Obama’s America, and his high profile in the media was seen as rarely benefitting the college. It may even have been seen as a detriment: According to a former staffer familiar with the college’s public relations, King’s employees have been explicitly tasked with disentangling D’Souza’s extracurricular activities from the college’s reputation. D’Souza became a non-presence on the college’s official Facebook page throughout 2012, which staffers say was no coincidence.

Haha, whoops! Oh well, at least now he has time to better have illicit sex with his secret fiancee behind his wife’s back, except Dinesh says they’re not having an affair and he and his wife have been separated for two years and he didn’t even share a hotel room with her and now you made them “suspend” their engagement, you big meanies. No word on how long his new “suspended” fiancee Denise has been separated from her husband, whom she appears to have married less than a year ago!

We guess all D’Souza has to console himself with now is that sweet, sweet paranoid documentary money, and this farewell from the school’s chairman of the board, as reported on the school’s newspaper’s Twitter:

Like the DOOR OUT OF HERE

We assume this is nice evangelical code for “the restraining order stipulates that you must remain 150 yards or more away from our campus at all times.” [DB]

 
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{ 268 comments }

ChillBill October 18, 2012 at 4:02 pm

No worries, there's a seat on Mitt's plane waiting for him.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:03 pm

On the roof?

snowpointsecret October 18, 2012 at 4:10 pm

A dog could make a more sensible movie, so no.

SorosBot October 18, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Do the windows roll down?

Geminisunmars October 18, 2012 at 4:14 pm

What's all this I hear about Mitt traveling with a Corgi?

Jukesgrrl October 18, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Rafalca's "friend."

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:32 pm

They would get married, but first the corgi has to get a divorce.

WhatTheHeck October 18, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Corgis are usually the pets of royalty. Mitt is now thinking outside the litterbox.

starfanglednut October 18, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Hehehe

Negropolis October 18, 2012 at 10:22 pm

QE2 Libel!

SorosBot October 18, 2012 at 4:03 pm

"God has a mighty future for Dinish" – Yeah no I don't think so.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 18, 2012 at 4:10 pm

No, really. God is very fond of adulterers and those who bare false witness.

SayItWithWookies October 18, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Really — look at King David.

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 4:41 pm

You refer to the Bathsheba business, I assume. But let's not forget his youthful "affections" for Jonathan!

doloras October 18, 2012 at 5:55 pm

"I said passing the love of women, not 'better' than! Jonathan and I were never fags! Not even once! You know who was a fag? King James of England was a fag and so were the people who made his bible translation!"

- King David, after Joseph Heller

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 6:14 pm

But seriously, King David is the excuse that all these prominent Christianist philanderers use for their hypocrisy. "God might spank me a little bit, but I can still rule, and even keep the hot piece! Look at King David!"

prommie October 18, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Its our burden to bear.

Nostrildamus October 18, 2012 at 5:47 pm

His children?

prommie October 18, 2012 at 4:18 pm

And really you know, lust ain't shit on the sin list compared to pride and greed, so quit judging me!

Schmannnity October 18, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Do you want that future with or without fries?

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Insert "Harold and Kumar" Joke Here.

BoatOfVelociraptors October 18, 2012 at 4:34 pm

So he's more of a shower than a grower?

WhatTheHeck October 18, 2012 at 4:44 pm

a couple of things god likes in people are money and power. Money can cover a multitude od sins.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:25 pm

When I first read that tweet, I thought it said "mighty furniture" and was all ready to make a joke about Dinesh Modern chairs….

starfanglednut October 18, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Something something Ottoman Empire.

CthuNHu October 18, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Replace "future" with "hammer" and you'll be a lot closer.

bikerlaureate October 18, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Or "wind".

It's like there's a word missing between "mighty" and "future", but I just can't figure out what it could be…

Biel_ze_Bubba October 18, 2012 at 8:16 pm

The missing word might be 'warm'.

HogeyeGrex October 18, 2012 at 5:15 pm

The Fires of Hell are mighty indeed.

That might be one of those "May you live in interesting times" things.

AznMom420 October 19, 2012 at 5:09 am

No no no, he said "God has a mighty future for DINNER" Big plans, fatted calf, the whole nine yards.

NYNYNYjr October 20, 2012 at 1:55 am

I think they meant "for dinner" — cause God eats the future for dinner motherfucker!

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:03 pm

My, how the weak have fallen…

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Truly. A weasel in hyena's clothing…

Negropolis October 18, 2012 at 10:24 pm

ROTFLMAO!

Antispandex October 18, 2012 at 4:49 pm

There but for the grace of god, and a lack of hypocritic bluster….

SorosBot October 18, 2012 at 4:04 pm

I'm feeling schad'enfreude today.

emmelemm October 18, 2012 at 4:07 pm

That's pretty much all that needs be said. (Also, I see what you did there, and I like it.)

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 18, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I think I shad some enfreude last night.

emmelemm October 18, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Well, I'm sure Freud would have *something* to say about it.

weejee October 18, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Mothers & poop, two favorites with the shrinks.

ChillBill October 18, 2012 at 4:10 pm

I'm d'souza-rry for him (well, not really).

Tundra Grifter October 18, 2012 at 4:46 pm

That's DR. Schaden Freud to you, sir!

Antispandex October 18, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Aye, just when you think you have flung a stone, it turns out it was a boomerang. Poor fucker forgot to duck….who knew?

Negropolis October 18, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Truly, my schaden has been freuded.

hagajim October 18, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Dinish D'Gonza. Couldn't happen to a nicer hypocrite.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:06 pm

He is D'Keymaster. He's looking for D'Gozer

gullywompr October 18, 2012 at 4:14 pm

So long, we're gonna Dinish ya.

rickmaci October 18, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Nice.

rickmaci October 18, 2012 at 4:20 pm

This whole story in d'lightful, d'lovely', d'licious and he is d'sgusting.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:05 pm

McLoving McNotanymore

Lot_49 October 18, 2012 at 4:06 pm

The difficult thing about being a college president is that there's such an easy metric for determining how good a job you're doing: the amount of tax-deductible rich-people $$$ you can bring in without whoring out the institution entirely to those who want their names on buildings, "endowed chairs*," the entire business school, etc.

Oh, also the Larry Summers Rule: don't say women are inherently dumber than men because they don't major in chemical engineering.
_____________________________
*Contrary to what you'd think, this does not refer to furniture with big dicks or boobs, although only Ivy League graduates know this sort of thing. This is why they're smarter than the rest of us, and entitled to drag the country into endless wars.

gullywompr October 18, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Just when things seemed to be going so well for him…

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Yes, he had the 142nd most popular movie last weekend!

Boojum October 18, 2012 at 4:07 pm

God has a mighty future for him. The details will be released after the election.

Lascauxcaveman October 18, 2012 at 4:23 pm

He's God after all. Sometimes he takes a mighty dump.

JustPixelz October 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm

He could shake the etch-a-sketch and see if a young blond appears.

SexySmurf October 18, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Another victim of the Obama economy.

bikerlaureate October 18, 2012 at 4:58 pm

And more good news for John McCain ?

Lascauxcaveman October 18, 2012 at 6:28 pm

I think the Kings College trustees are just all het up about British colonialism in Africa.

Mumbletypeg October 18, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Blunders never cease.

qwerty42 October 18, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Still Cocktober and Blovember isn't here.

rickmaci October 18, 2012 at 4:08 pm

"…his deeply held hypocrisy and fluid, self-serving morality."

Could describe just about every neokkkon and/or Republikkkon politician.

memzilla October 18, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Hmm, let's see:

Recently Unemployed plus Failed Filmmaker [or, Maker of Failed Film] plus Pending Divorce plus General Self-Absorbed Asshattery = One Pending 3 AM Breakup Tweet From Hottie (ex) GF.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 18, 2012 at 4:18 pm

I was told there would be no math.

snowpointsecret October 18, 2012 at 4:09 pm

So today I found out that you can actually get Obama 2016 for $4 on demand with Time Warner Cable. I had just woken up and was turning on the TV to check the weather. This man made my morning much less enjoyable.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Wow. Cuz Blockbuster is streaming it for free. Sucks to have cable, I get movies I can ignore for nothing.

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 4:24 pm

And look where it got 'im?

Lascauxcaveman October 18, 2012 at 4:26 pm

I'm going to wait until the dubbed Woody Allen version ala What's Up, Tiger Lilly? comes out.

Generation[redacted] October 18, 2012 at 4:53 pm

"When will the President show us the real recipe for chicken salad?"

Pragmatist2 October 18, 2012 at 4:09 pm

You should have put Kings "College" in quotes as well.

SorosBot October 18, 2012 at 4:15 pm

The description makes me almost suspect that King's "College" is just a front designed to suck up some of that sweet government education money. Almost. But then good Christians would never do that!

MissTaken October 18, 2012 at 4:17 pm

And d'nial is just a river in Egypt.

bikerlaureate October 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Stop d'nigrating these virtuous folks!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 18, 2012 at 4:23 pm

I just thought it was nice that the British Crown cares about education in the US.

emmelemm October 18, 2012 at 4:28 pm

True fact: the original name of Columbia University (alma mater of the Kenyan Muslin usurpist) was King's College. Look it up, bitches!

ETA: Chartered by King George II himself!

viennawoods13 October 18, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Or was he there? after all, no one whose student he wasn't remembers him. And it's such a small, intimate campus.

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 4:25 pm

"King's Kollege" would work, too.

elviouslyqueer October 18, 2012 at 5:04 pm

"King's Konservative Kollege" would work even better.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 18, 2012 at 8:21 pm

Can't wait to order some official Kollege jackets, with the initials on the back.

FlownOver October 18, 2012 at 6:01 pm

King's Bollege, Bambridge.

What a silly bunt.

Callyson October 18, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Dinesh says they’re not having an affair and he and his wife have been separated for two years and he didn’t even share a hotel room with her and now you made them “suspend” their engagement, you big meanies

Translation: Denise woke the fuck up, asked herself "WTF am I doing with this creep?" and dumped his sorry ass…

(I hope, for her sake…)

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Or, hubby was blindered the whole time until the latest news reports came out and he said "WHAT?!?!?!?!"

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 4:26 pm

SEE ALSO: "My shoe was untied;" "The sun was in my eyes;" et al.

badseeds October 18, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Yeah, he has some things to go through. . . like being fitted for a cilice, and maybe an iron maiden.

(I was in Hanover in the early 80s, and was sick of Dinesh's act even then. There's no schadenfreude like old schadenfreude.)

Geminisunmars October 18, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Schadenfreude is best served cold.

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Anyone who uses the word "cilice" in a sentence is OK by me. *applauds*

GeorgiaMike October 18, 2012 at 5:57 pm

I met him in '82 at a college journalism conference at Hollins College and I remember asking him, "What's with all this right wing stuff?" I was still naive enough to think college journalists shouldn't be fascists. His answer at the time was, "I'm not that political, but being conservative is the quickest way to get ahead." Damn, I surely do wish I had taped that.

krazyvladimir October 19, 2012 at 8:59 am

Perhaps you misheard him…. he was trying to say: "…. best way of getting a head …. from Ann Coulter look alikes….."

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:10 pm
Lot_49 October 18, 2012 at 4:15 pm

In keeping with the college’s dress code, the students wear business suits.

And to think I made the mistake of going to a college where you could score for acid or grass, attend a Grateful Dead concert, and get laid–all while wearing an Army surplus fatigue jacket.

It was a long time ago, okay?

Geminisunmars October 18, 2012 at 4:22 pm

And now we are successful Wonketeer commentors. (At least we have fulfilling work, right?)

bikerlaureate October 18, 2012 at 5:00 pm

I learned about Hobo Beans here.

No more newspaper-coleslaw for me!

Tundra Grifter October 18, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Well, I was really never that into the Dead. And the jacket was one my cousin wore in 'Nam. I turned down my invitation to that dance.

The rest of it rings pretty true…

Lot_49 October 18, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Not a Deadhead myself, but they played in the student union–it was that long ago.

Tundra Grifter October 18, 2012 at 5:54 pm

Certainly worth going to see if you got a chance. Did the SU serve breakfast after the show?

When I was at the University of Miami (not Miami University) Sam & Dave came for a concert. It rained (quelle surprise in Southern Florida) and they moved it indoors.

After they were done they were told "as many people as there were here to see you are waiting outside in rain because they couldn't get in."

Sam & Dave said "OK – we'll just do it again." And they did. They were carried out after the second show. Not James Brown-style – they were exhausted.

sullivanst October 18, 2012 at 5:44 pm

And here was I thinking Oxford and Cambridge were the world's snobbiest universities (I have four years of first-hand experience), but neither is remotely pretentious enough to require business suits in class.

Needless to say, both place shall we say somewhat higher in QS' world rankings.

MissTaken October 18, 2012 at 4:19 pm

I assume the picture of the 5 books is the Kings College Library of Book Learning.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Four of those were phone books.

OK, a phone book is a book where they printed the numbers of everyone who…Huh?

OK, a book is something you used to hold in your hands and read.

MissTaken October 18, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Um:

Oakes tells me he’s glad to meet me, though he assumes we will disagree politically. “I love talking to people with whom I disagree,” he says. “My new thing is talking to the Muslims, the ones who drive the taxicabs.”

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I see a new job for Tom Friedman

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 18, 2012 at 4:31 pm

good grief.

elviouslyqueer October 18, 2012 at 4:23 pm

the King’s College—erstwhile motto: “God, Money, Power”—recognizes that there is only one power structure and seeks to join it.

Well, after Mittens gets trampled in this election, at least he's got a backup position.

Tundra Grifter October 18, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Paul RAyn is running again for his seat in the US House.

bikerlaureate October 18, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Those motto components are in the reverse order for Mistuh Romney, though, ain't they?

One_who_wanders October 18, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Excellent!

Tundra Grifter October 18, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Described in mid-July as being "recently installed." Probed and gone by mid-October.

How did he have any time to get into the air before he crashed and burned?

bikerlaureate October 18, 2012 at 5:02 pm

A quarter-mil for those three months of leadership (while promoting a film) ?

Grifter bonanza.

Tundra Grifter October 18, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Watch it.

Not that terrible movie.

The Grifter cracks.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 5:06 pm

The article is from 2011

Tundra Grifter October 18, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Oops.

There you go with those pesky librul "facts."

Actually, however, that makes it much worse in my book because it means he really was working on his movie when he should have been working for the College. Particularly for $1,000,000 a year.

WhatTheHeck October 18, 2012 at 5:01 pm

I hope they hand out a big-ass diploma for attending that dumb-ass college.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 18, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Why is it Conservative idiots get all these cushy million dollar jobs, even though they have no real skills, and yet they complain about the poor getting food stamps?

ManchuCandidate October 18, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Don't like competition.

Same way many MBAs/PMPs like to dismiss non-MBAs/PMPs for managerial positions. They think that somehow their skills are so rare. It would work if Failing upwards is considered a skill.

Geminisunmars October 18, 2012 at 4:24 pm

What are you saying? Their skills of manipulation are often excellent.

WhatTheHeck October 18, 2012 at 5:30 pm

Look here a minute Mr Esq., when I’m being chauffeured around town in my Bentley GT, I look out at those people and wish they wouldn’t be there, adulterating my view of the city.

ManchuCandidate October 18, 2012 at 4:11 pm

All the King's College students and all the King's College Board men couldn't wait to push Dinesh D'Souza off the wall again.

coolhandnuke October 18, 2012 at 4:11 pm

The greatest trick Keyser D'Souza ever pulled was convincing the world he did exist.

FakaktaSouth October 18, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Here's hoping that the million dollar poon-tang-that-wasn't was worth it, and secondly that she dumped him, because, no million dollars. That girl could NOT have been doing it for the hotness.

prommie October 18, 2012 at 4:16 pm

I'm just shocked to my core by the immorality of it all, such shameful carrying-on by people who are in the process of ending being not unmarried! I am shocked and appalled I say.

FakaktaSouth October 18, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Ending being not unmarried being my favorite disease, verily I say unto thee, you shut up. And also, I wonder if they asked them how many beds they wanted in that hotel room?

prommie October 18, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Why would they ask that? Do you think they might have thought she was his daughter?

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 4:28 pm

But Jesus stooped down, and with His finger wrote on the ground, "feels so good it must be right!"

prommie October 18, 2012 at 4:29 pm

His will be done, as Margaret said to Frank.

MosesInvests October 18, 2012 at 5:08 pm

I'm afflicted by that, too. Maybe we should start a foundation?

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:24 pm

That's not what shocks me.

What shocks me is the abhorrent judgement they lay (pun intended) on others who are going through the same difficult times in their own lives…and THEN the core immorality of carrying in the process of ending not being umarried!

prommie October 18, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Judge not, lest ye be judged and all that, pip pip, what ho?

prommie October 18, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Do you suppose this means God has a mighty future for us? We've already been through some things, so thats out of the way!

FakaktaSouth October 18, 2012 at 4:29 pm

As we have never been ones to judge anybody unless they really deserve it, I'm saying we get credit for time served and a mighty future it is. As for God, She has a sense of humor, no? I'm sure we'll do fine.

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 4:33 pm

You crazy kids do have a mighty future!

FakaktaSouth October 18, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Sweet Chet, you know you won't be spared none of the details. Love love love. Bazookas and muscle cars for everyone!

prommie October 18, 2012 at 4:35 pm

I am sure of it. Always have been.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I'm not sure "walls" count here.

prommie October 18, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Ha! If it all weren't still winding its slow way through the various courts. . . . . .

And why exactly shouldn't walls count? They hurt, its like penance. The Road to Magdalena, and all that (Fakakta, oh hell, you don't do hiking, never mind).

ChillBill October 18, 2012 at 4:12 pm

I'm sure he's got binders full of job offers.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 18, 2012 at 4:13 pm

So, in the end, the Kenyan had his revenge?

Tequila Mockingbird October 18, 2012 at 4:14 pm

"God has a mighty future for Dinesh…"

Dear God: PLEASE let it involve an airport restroom stall, a meth dealer, and/or a one-way mirror.

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I suppose a good, old-fashioned stoning is too much to hope for…

415buzzard October 18, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Maybe the jilted husband of his current crush will provide us with some awesome new details!

prommie October 18, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Well now if he was jilted, he wouldn't be married, ya know? Cuckolded, thats good though.

prommie October 18, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Wet suit, ball-gag.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 18, 2012 at 5:28 pm

cat-o-nine-tails

imissopus October 18, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Best quote of that DB story from the same guy who made the comment about God having a mighty future for Dinesh: "I have to admit, I got a bit over-enamored with him."

Snake-oil salesman sells snake-oil, yes.

bikerlaureate October 18, 2012 at 5:04 pm

But he's a great steward of God's money, usually.

viennawoods13 October 19, 2012 at 7:45 am

Wait until the fiancee says the same thing.

MLite October 18, 2012 at 4:14 pm

A real class A+ Job Creator!

Blueb4sinrise October 18, 2012 at 4:15 pm

[Forgive the lack of attribution, I forget the source, but..] as one internet commenter has said:

BWWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAH
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Geminisunmars October 18, 2012 at 4:36 pm

And KKKKKKKKkkkkkkkKKKKKKKKkkKKKKKKKkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkKKKKK!

MissTaken October 18, 2012 at 4:16 pm

He's resigning so he can spend more time maintaining his fuck-free fiance's website.

weejee October 18, 2012 at 4:42 pm

♪♫ Oh Denise, scooby-doo,
I'm in love with you, Dinesh is through woo, hoo, hoo ♫♪

rickmaci October 18, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Hmmm. In the absence of any evidence to support his innocence, such as a bill for a separate room at the hotel, the verdict is GUILTY of first degree shagging without a marriage license.

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Oh, that's a nice, even-handed quote, suitable for all occasions! "God has a mighty future for Jerry Sandusky, but there are some things he has to go through first."

doloras October 18, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Maybe "mighty" can be substituted for "anal" here.

Weenus299 October 18, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Wait, Elvis has a college? What are the majors? Karate and rhinestone embroidery?

elviouslyqueer October 18, 2012 at 4:43 pm

HEY NOW.

Oh. Never mind. Carry on.

Lascauxcaveman October 18, 2012 at 6:29 pm

I got an 'A' in banana milkshakes but I failed quaaludes.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 18, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Revenge is a dinesh best served cold.

emmelemm October 18, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Sweet.

mrpuma2u October 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Well played sir. 987 virtual upfists to you.

MosesInvests October 18, 2012 at 5:11 pm

BSFD is a ma'am, actually.

gullywompr October 18, 2012 at 4:18 pm

He "resigned" because the administration said hurtful things, and he was tired of working for a dollar.

KeepFnThatChicken October 18, 2012 at 4:20 pm

He was the president of a christian college. there's so much more to aspire to be… say, a janitor at Cornell.

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 4:20 pm

This is the same sentiment they always use when one of their Christianist authority figures gets caught dipping his wick outside the bounds of marriage/vagina. God has a mighty future for Mark Sanford, Ted Haggard…

SorosBot October 18, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Well Mark Sanford has a big future in making racist "spear throwing" comments about our President.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 18, 2012 at 4:20 pm

So, he is resigning to spend more time with his mistress?

kittensdontlie October 18, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Ooops. Her phone has been disconnected.

OneYieldRegular October 18, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Sounds like King's College did about as good a job of "vettening" as World Net Daily.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:28 pm

According to the article I posted in this thread, the choice was made by Rolodex.

sbj1964 October 18, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Dinish,O have the mighty fallen,and the righteous failed.But at least you got caught with a women most conservatives get caught fucking they're gay drug connection prostitutes.Way to stay focused.

SayItWithWookies October 18, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I'm sure Dinesh will find another teat of righteousness to suck off — Ponzi schemers always land on their someone else's feet.

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 4:22 pm

Is that a still from "Dinesh D'Souza's Million Dollar Pussy Hunt" on the Discover Channel? He seems to have caught a good whiff.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 18, 2012 at 4:23 pm

(We put “resign” in quotes because “he” “made” the decision after the school’s board of trustees met for like two days straight, presumably deciding the wording of the resignation statement “he” would write.)

totally necessary quotes.

Schmannnity October 18, 2012 at 4:23 pm

He must be a helluva president for each of 250 students to have to pay a $4,000.00 presidential surtax.

HempDogbane October 18, 2012 at 4:28 pm

I hope he gets better at this "documentary" stuff now that he has some good material.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Y'know, he does this whole shtick about "villains": amoral beasts who support sinful things like abortion and sex outside of marriage.

I wonder when he'll do an autobiography?

neiltheblaze October 18, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Being a wingnut welfare recipient means you never need to actually show up and do any work.

Don't these silly people know that? Have they no respect for tradition?

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Actually, it's probably better than you don't show up for that kind of job. People might figure out you're inept.

comrad_darkness October 18, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Wait, they expected him to work for his salary? What kind of godless, lower middle class scum do they think he is?

boskolives October 18, 2012 at 10:19 pm

There's more than one kind?

HelmutNewton October 18, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Faux News gig for 'DSouza in 3,2,1…

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 4:36 pm

He and Dr. Blowjob would make quite a heap o' hypocrisy!

rickmaci October 18, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Live like a d'ick, die by the d'ick.

elviouslyqueer October 18, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Wait. What's this?

“A student asked me about gay marriage recently,” D’Souza tells a crowd of about 60 men in a plush midtown restaurant. “I said, ‘If you want to know what marriage means, look it up in the dictionary.’

Yep, D'ouchebag. Except my dictionary doesn't have cross-references to "adultery," "deceitfulness," and "hypocrisy."

bikerlaureate October 18, 2012 at 5:06 pm

When I brush people off by telling them to break out their dictionary, no one ever gives me anything close to a million bucks.

sullivanst October 18, 2012 at 5:19 pm

You need to be a wingnut to qualify for wingnut welfare.

Negropolis October 18, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Conservatives certainly know about marriage. I mean, how could they not having so many of them during their lifetime?

NYNYNYjr October 20, 2012 at 2:01 am

"I said, 'If you want to know what marriage means, why don't we get married for the afternoon and hang out in a motel?'"

comrad_darkness October 18, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Dinesh explains that gays destroyed his marriage in 3, 2, 1…

LibertyLover October 18, 2012 at 4:41 pm

The board of directors of the college must all be gay. Duh.

bikerlaureate October 18, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Gay mafia and their damn media overlording.

MosesInvests October 18, 2012 at 5:15 pm

As I've said before, it wasn't the gheys who destroyed my marriage, it was the straight guy who was boinking my wife.

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Well, damn. OK, busted – destroying this self-righteous weasel's sham marriage was on the agenda at our last meeting of the Homintern…

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 18, 2012 at 5:39 pm

"Some guy's cock was in my eyes!"

pdiddycornchips October 18, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Wingnut welfare queens never die or fade away. He'll be back soon with more insane bullshit and the conservative noise makers will reward him with piles of cash and fresh mangos.

Geminisunmars October 18, 2012 at 4:43 pm

He really deserves a cache of piles. And stale manwents.

Tio_Doidinho October 18, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Indian Fruit Libel!

MistaEko October 18, 2012 at 4:37 pm

D’Souza became a non-presence on the college’s official Facebook page throughout 2012

Yeah! That'll show wait what?

/at Berkeley they impeach via Pinterest

anniegetyerfun October 18, 2012 at 4:37 pm

No, seriously, this guy had an actual job?

ETA: Oh, "The" King's College. Nevermind.

Kid_Charlemagne October 18, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I'm getting a pool going to guess which Wingnut "think tank" will snap up this prize.

weejee October 18, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Early money seems to be on the creationists at Discovery Institute. That said, you might get better odds for the Elmer Fudd Union of Concerned Krackpots (eFUCK).

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Surely, BJU (Bob Jones University, you pervs) is hiring…

LibertyLover October 18, 2012 at 4:40 pm

I suppose he could get a job working the Romney car elevator or cleaning Rafalca's stable.

boskolives October 18, 2012 at 10:24 pm

When Rafalca didn't bring home olympic gold, he was put on the market. Correction, he was put in the market and you can find him on aisle 6 in the dogfood section.

CthuNHu October 18, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Ugliest little man in a rowboat ever. Insensitive, too.

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Per him, you'd think he'd be able to walk on that water…

Antispandex October 18, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Huh. So, this is the type of fellow you go to when you want to know the real facts about the President of the United States? Interesting. Well, you know, once again the "christian right" appears to be neither christian, nor right. However, I am sure he is as fine a gentleman as his fellow conservative christians. There should be some comfort in that.

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Steaming heaps 'o "comfort," I'm sure…

Tundra Grifter October 18, 2012 at 4:49 pm

That's a classic Wonkette photo right there!

He's up a creek.

And, yes, without a paddle.

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Isn't there s'posed to be a tiger in that boat, too?

YES, it's D'inest D'philip D'Souza in "The Life of Poo"!

emmelemm October 18, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Life of Poo! Loves it.

Tundra Grifter October 18, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Pi libel!

Steverino247 October 18, 2012 at 4:50 pm

"God has a mighty future in store for Dinesh, but there are some things he has to go through first."

What? The Labors of Hercules? Tarzan's Three Challenges? Another vaginal opening? Don't tease us!

cybermoe October 18, 2012 at 4:50 pm

$1M and he couldn't afford to buy a chin?

Steverino247 October 18, 2012 at 4:51 pm

They were all outsourced by Bain to China.

fawkedifiknow October 18, 2012 at 4:54 pm

D"ear D'r. D'Souza:

D'on't let d'a d'oor hit you in d'a ass.

calliecallie October 18, 2012 at 4:57 pm

You know who else has a mighty future?

Blueb4sinrise October 18, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Mighty M'ouza?

anniegetyerfun October 18, 2012 at 5:25 pm

That terrifying Romney child?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 18, 2012 at 5:32 pm

Quinn?

Mittaplasia October 18, 2012 at 5:34 pm

The person who invents bullshit repellant?

Generation[redacted] October 18, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Pork Belly?

cousinitt October 18, 2012 at 4:57 pm

So lemme see if I have a feel for the story: the Christian college rubbed out the man in the boat.

finallyhappy October 18, 2012 at 5:03 pm

on Yahoo- this is the fault of Obama and liberals because we have such influence on Kings College and because we are so concerned about this guy's adultery or non-adultery

Tundra Grifter October 18, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Does this mean he'll change his name to D'Minished?

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 5:10 pm

The Obama Opponent Self-Destruction Field — it's not just for candidates anymore!

WinterOuthouse October 18, 2012 at 5:11 pm

The excessive regulations by the Obama Administration has caused this man to resign. Another jerb creator gone. GONE! What are we to do? Maybe we should hoard something? Ideas?

Blueb4sinrise October 18, 2012 at 5:26 pm

AOT'K

JackObin October 18, 2012 at 5:13 pm

W'hothefuck G'ivesashit.

MittBorg October 18, 2012 at 5:13 pm

So, he's still married, and his FIANCEE is still married, each of them to someone else, of course. I think we'll need to understand the Indian colonial mentality to figure this one out.

YouBetcha October 18, 2012 at 5:25 pm

I hear Rielle Hunter is available.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 18, 2012 at 5:33 pm

D'Sadz-a seems like the type of tool who would reject her because she's got a kid.

widestanceromance October 18, 2012 at 5:34 pm

That photo. Is he pretending he's an Attenborough?

Nostrildamus October 18, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Assuming 400 students, Dinesh get $2,500 per student per year. Or roughly $500 per blow job.

And I mean roughly.

shelwood46 October 18, 2012 at 6:27 pm

It is awesome that he belongs to a school of "thought" that labels itself, voluntarily, as "Christian Apologists".

chascates October 18, 2012 at 6:46 pm

D'Souza did acknowledge he had made one crucial mistake: "I had no idea that it is considered wrong in Christian circles to be engaged prior to being divorced."

Carrabuda October 18, 2012 at 7:41 pm

As the old saying goes, "fiancee" is French for "who I'm fucking now."

viennawoods13 October 19, 2012 at 7:35 am

I had to go to the website to see- could not believe that even THAT dipshit could say that- and yet he did.

boskolives October 18, 2012 at 6:49 pm

I learned years ago that when a man is intent on "F-ing" himself in the "A" with his own, to borrow from rickmaci, "d'ick", it's best not to interfere with him because it could get messy, y'know…
Jerry www http://www.boskolives.wordpress.com

Pat_Pending October 18, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Will Denise become D'enise D'Souza?

Dashboard Buddha October 18, 2012 at 7:05 pm

I have a dream…not like MLK's dream of little black children, little white children, content of character etc. No, I have a dream where conservatives, and especially religious conservatives, take responsibility for their fucking actions!

Dashboard Buddha October 18, 2012 at 7:07 pm

"God has a mighty future for…"

Yeah, a future giving the rest of us grand mal mockgasms.

glamourdammerung October 18, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Read the story on Yahoo just to see all the Republicans whining about how this is President Obama's fault.

Personal responsibility!

Negropolis October 18, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Dinesh, you are no Jerome Corsi.

Incitefully_Joe October 18, 2012 at 10:28 pm

The most depressing part about this story is that, in the balance, losing Dinseh D'souza is probably good news for John McCain Campus Crusade for Christ University.

prommie October 19, 2012 at 10:05 am

Brother Jed is associated with this! Brother Jed Smock! I fucking love that man! He was a fucking hoot and I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS would go watch his harangues just cause I loved to be called a "fornicator" in that special way with the last syllable stretched out to 3 or 4 syllables!

Negropolis October 18, 2012 at 10:40 pm

How do you say "pawned" in Swahili, BTW?

kppontrucking October 18, 2012 at 10:43 pm

If they get married, Denise will be D'Mistress of the House.

phillipmarlowe2terry October 18, 2012 at 10:43 pm

So, she graduated from John Carroll High School, Bel Air MD in 2002. That's atleast 20 years younger than Distort D'Newsa. Does that make him a (black) panther?

ttommyunger October 18, 2012 at 11:22 pm

Not to worry, Fox has a huge Fired Fuckwad Budget.

Humberto_Echo October 18, 2012 at 11:33 pm

I'd love to crack wise about Dinesh, but my hate for him resides on a subatomic level. To do so would risk the fate of the universe.

decentcitizen October 19, 2012 at 2:04 am

Guys like these fall upward. He'll land on some bogus think tank or become a "commentator". That's why there's no God (or she isn't paying attention).

AznMom420 October 19, 2012 at 4:36 am

In the “about me” section, Ms Denise Odie(the dog) Joseph called herself a “conservative bloggette”.

"Blogette" that's like what a Frenchman eats for lunch when he's on a diet, right?

DahBoner October 19, 2012 at 9:06 am

The French know you can't get fat eating pussy…

AznMom420 October 19, 2012 at 5:01 am

No no no, he said "God has a mighty future for DINNER" Big plans, fatted calf, the whole nine yards.

DahBoner October 19, 2012 at 9:05 am

some things he has to go through first

Like hookers and crack, amirite?

One_who_wanders October 19, 2012 at 9:39 am

Late addition to the Beast story reports his salary wasn't nearly that high:

"Editor's Note: This story originally reported that D'Souza's salary was rumored to be $1 million. According to the most recent IRS filings by The King's College, D'Souza received $194,638 in reportable compensation between August 16, 2010 and Aug. 31, 2011, and an estimated additional compensation of $6,886. The reference to the rumored salary has been removed."

larrykat October 19, 2012 at 11:38 am

As if God would like somebody named Dinesh. Do they think we are stupid or what?

vtxmcrider October 19, 2012 at 12:22 pm

I did not get to see his masterpiece 2016: Obama's America. But I am truly enjoying 2012: Dinesh's Fuck-Up. It is a movie all about Schadenfreude.

vtxmcrider October 19, 2012 at 1:15 pm

I mean, how the fuck could she have resisted? Dinesh is almost as dick-throbbingly handsome as Piyush Jindal.

vtxmcrider October 19, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Did he at least have the decency to fuck someone of his own caste?

editor October 20, 2012 at 10:49 pm

and this hand puppet is newsworthy because?

emmelemm October 18, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Lionel and I try to leave mothers and poop out of it.

Generation[redacted] October 18, 2012 at 4:51 pm

HOTLIPS LIBEL!

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Thanks, that reference zipped right by me at first!

prommie October 18, 2012 at 4:59 pm

The Bitching Camaro of Liberal Justice! Joe Biden will love it!

FakaktaSouth October 18, 2012 at 5:04 pm

OHJoe would totally give us his blessing, and I TOLD YOU I would do that weird Magdalena crime walk with you. Take yes for an answer dude.

prommie October 18, 2012 at 5:10 pm
Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Bathsheba asked David why he was out jumpin' them high hurdles at midnight, but he simply mumbled "Jonathan" and kept drinkin'.

MoeDeLawn October 19, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Now THAT was a wake-up call! I'm gonna "waste" some time chasing more of that down.

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