Lazy Slut Who Did No Work Dinesh D’Souza ‘Resigns’ From Million Dollar Christian College Prez Gig

  twas beauty killed the beast

Boating off into the sunsetDinesh D’Souza: Not having the greatest of all possible weeks? Just a couple days after the revelation that got engaged to and/or shared a hotel with his new lady without technically getting divorced from his old one (and also that lady has a husband too, or at least did recently, ha ha) comes the bad news that he’s going to “resign” from his job as president of The King’s College. (We put “resign” in quotes because “he” “made” the decision after the school’s board of trustees met for like two days straight, presumably deciding the wording of the resignation statement “he” would write.) Was he forced out because of his sexual shenanigans? Sure! But also because he was doing a not very good job of being president of The King’s College? Yes, that too!

David Sessions at the chained-to-Newsweek’s-rotting-corpse Daily Beast is all over this story today! He notes in passing that D’Souza was making a cool million dollars a year to be president of The King’s College. This is a Christian college whose “campus” was three floors of the Empire State Building up until this year, when it moved into a new building in the Financial District. It has 21 full-time faculty members, and, depending on which part of its Wikipedia entry you believe, it has either around 250 students or “more than 400.”

So: pretty small school! And yet million-dollar salary! We’re sure he really works hard to earn it though, because he’s a conservative not a liberal whiner and a maker not a taker oh wait what’s that you say David Sessions at the Daily Beast?

According to several sources at the college, members of the King’s faculty and board alike had grown hostile to D’Souza’s presidency over what they saw as a failure to earn his reported million-dollar salary. D’Souza has spent much of the past few months promoting his documentary, 2016: Obama’s America, and his high profile in the media was seen as rarely benefitting the college. It may even have been seen as a detriment: According to a former staffer familiar with the college’s public relations, King’s employees have been explicitly tasked with disentangling D’Souza’s extracurricular activities from the college’s reputation. D’Souza became a non-presence on the college’s official Facebook page throughout 2012, which staffers say was no coincidence.

Haha, whoops! Oh well, at least now he has time to better have illicit sex with his secret fiancee behind his wife’s back, except Dinesh says they’re not having an affair and he and his wife have been separated for two years and he didn’t even share a hotel room with her and now you made them “suspend” their engagement, you big meanies. No word on how long his new “suspended” fiancee Denise has been separated from her husband, whom she appears to have married less than a year ago!

We guess all D’Souza has to console himself with now is that sweet, sweet paranoid documentary money, and this farewell from the school’s chairman of the board, as reported on the school’s newspaper’s Twitter:

Like the DOOR OUT OF HERE

We assume this is nice evangelical code for “the restraining order stipulates that you must remain 150 yards or more away from our campus at all times.” [DB]

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About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

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268 comments

          1. doloras

            "I said passing the love of women, not 'better' than! Jonathan and I were never fags! Not even once! You know who was a fag? King James of England was a fag and so were the people who made his bible translation!"

            - King David, after Joseph Heller

        1. Chet Kincaid_

          But seriously, King David is the excuse that all these prominent Christianist philanderers use for their hypocrisy. "God might spank me a little bit, but I can still rule, and even keep the hot piece! Look at King David!"

      1. prommie

        And really you know, lust ain't shit on the sin list compared to pride and greed, so quit judging me!

      2. WhatTheHeck

        a couple of things god likes in people are money and power. Money can cover a multitude od sins.

      1. bikerlaureate

        Or "wind".

        It's like there's a word missing between "mighty" and "future", but I just can't figure out what it could be…

    1. HogeyeGrex

      The Fires of Hell are mighty indeed.

      That might be one of those "May you live in interesting times" things.

    2. AznMom420

      No no no, he said "God has a mighty future for DINNER" Big plans, fatted calf, the whole nine yards.

    1. Antispandex

      Aye, just when you think you have flung a stone, it turns out it was a boomerang. Poor fucker forgot to duck….who knew?

  1. Lot_49

    The difficult thing about being a college president is that there's such an easy metric for determining how good a job you're doing: the amount of tax-deductible rich-people $$$ you can bring in without whoring out the institution entirely to those who want their names on buildings, "endowed chairs*," the entire business school, etc.

    Oh, also the Larry Summers Rule: don't say women are inherently dumber than men because they don't major in chemical engineering.
    _____________________________
    *Contrary to what you'd think, this does not refer to furniture with big dicks or boobs, although only Ivy League graduates know this sort of thing. This is why they're smarter than the rest of us, and entitled to drag the country into endless wars.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      I think the Kings College trustees are just all het up about British colonialism in Africa.

  2. rickmaci

    "…his deeply held hypocrisy and fluid, self-serving morality."

    Could describe just about every neokkkon and/or Republikkkon politician.

  3. memzilla

    Hmm, let's see:

    Recently Unemployed plus Failed Filmmaker [or, Maker of Failed Film] plus Pending Divorce plus General Self-Absorbed Asshattery = One Pending 3 AM Breakup Tweet From Hottie (ex) GF.

  4. snowpointsecret

    So today I found out that you can actually get Obama 2016 for $4 on demand with Time Warner Cable. I had just woken up and was turning on the TV to check the weather. This man made my morning much less enjoyable.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      I'm going to wait until the dubbed Woody Allen version ala What's Up, Tiger Lilly? comes out.

    1. SorosBot

      The description makes me almost suspect that King's "College" is just a front designed to suck up some of that sweet government education money. Almost. But then good Christians would never do that!

        1. emmelemm

          True fact: the original name of Columbia University (alma mater of the Kenyan Muslin usurpist) was King's College. Look it up, bitches!

          ETA: Chartered by King George II himself!

          1. viennawoods13

            Or was he there? after all, no one whose student he wasn't remembers him. And it's such a small, intimate campus.

  5. Callyson

    Dinesh says they’re not having an affair and he and his wife have been separated for two years and he didn’t even share a hotel room with her and now you made them “suspend” their engagement, you big meanies

    Translation: Denise woke the fuck up, asked herself "WTF am I doing with this creep?" and dumped his sorry ass…

    (I hope, for her sake…)

  6. badseeds

    Yeah, he has some things to go through. . . like being fitted for a cilice, and maybe an iron maiden.

    (I was in Hanover in the early 80s, and was sick of Dinesh's act even then. There's no schadenfreude like old schadenfreude.)

    1. GeorgiaMike

      I met him in '82 at a college journalism conference at Hollins College and I remember asking him, "What's with all this right wing stuff?" I was still naive enough to think college journalists shouldn't be fascists. His answer at the time was, "I'm not that political, but being conservative is the quickest way to get ahead." Damn, I surely do wish I had taped that.

      1. krazyvladimir

        Perhaps you misheard him…. he was trying to say: "…. best way of getting a head …. from Ann Coulter look alikes….."

    1. Lot_49

      In keeping with the college’s dress code, the students wear business suits.

      And to think I made the mistake of going to a college where you could score for acid or grass, attend a Grateful Dead concert, and get laid–all while wearing an Army surplus fatigue jacket.

      It was a long time ago, okay?

      1. Tundra Grifter

        Well, I was really never that into the Dead. And the jacket was one my cousin wore in 'Nam. I turned down my invitation to that dance.

        The rest of it rings pretty true…

          1. Tundra Grifter

            Certainly worth going to see if you got a chance. Did the SU serve breakfast after the show?

            When I was at the University of Miami (not Miami University) Sam & Dave came for a concert. It rained (quelle surprise in Southern Florida) and they moved it indoors.

            After they were done they were told "as many people as there were here to see you are waiting outside in rain because they couldn't get in."

            Sam & Dave said "OK – we'll just do it again." And they did. They were carried out after the second show. Not James Brown-style – they were exhausted.

      2. sullivanst

        And here was I thinking Oxford and Cambridge were the world's snobbiest universities (I have four years of first-hand experience), but neither is remotely pretentious enough to require business suits in class.

        Needless to say, both place shall we say somewhat higher in QS' world rankings.

      1. actor212

        Four of those were phone books.

        OK, a phone book is a book where they printed the numbers of everyone who…Huh?

        OK, a book is something you used to hold in your hands and read.

    2. MissTaken

      Um:

      Oakes tells me he’s glad to meet me, though he assumes we will disagree politically. “I love talking to people with whom I disagree,” he says. “My new thing is talking to the Muslims, the ones who drive the taxicabs.”

    3. elviouslyqueer

      the King’s College—erstwhile motto: “God, Money, Power”—recognizes that there is only one power structure and seeks to join it.

      Well, after Mittens gets trampled in this election, at least he's got a backup position.

    4. Tundra Grifter

      Described in mid-July as being "recently installed." Probed and gone by mid-October.

      How did he have any time to get into the air before he crashed and burned?

      1. bikerlaureate

        A quarter-mil for those three months of leadership (while promoting a film) ?

        Grifter bonanza.

        1. Tundra Grifter

          Oops.

          There you go with those pesky librul "facts."

          Actually, however, that makes it much worse in my book because it means he really was working on his movie when he should have been working for the College. Particularly for $1,000,000 a year.

    1. ManchuCandidate

      Don't like competition.

      Same way many MBAs/PMPs like to dismiss non-MBAs/PMPs for managerial positions. They think that somehow their skills are so rare. It would work if Failing upwards is considered a skill.

    2. WhatTheHeck

      Look here a minute Mr Esq., when I’m being chauffeured around town in my Bentley GT, I look out at those people and wish they wouldn’t be there, adulterating my view of the city.

  7. FakaktaSouth

    Here's hoping that the million dollar poon-tang-that-wasn't was worth it, and secondly that she dumped him, because, no million dollars. That girl could NOT have been doing it for the hotness.

    1. prommie

      I'm just shocked to my core by the immorality of it all, such shameful carrying-on by people who are in the process of ending being not unmarried! I am shocked and appalled I say.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        Ending being not unmarried being my favorite disease, verily I say unto thee, you shut up. And also, I wonder if they asked them how many beds they wanted in that hotel room?

      2. actor212

        That's not what shocks me.

        What shocks me is the abhorrent judgement they lay (pun intended) on others who are going through the same difficult times in their own lives…and THEN the core immorality of carrying in the process of ending not being umarried!

    2. prommie

      Do you suppose this means God has a mighty future for us? We've already been through some things, so thats out of the way!

      1. FakaktaSouth

        As we have never been ones to judge anybody unless they really deserve it, I'm saying we get credit for time served and a mighty future it is. As for God, She has a sense of humor, no? I'm sure we'll do fine.

          1. FakaktaSouth

            Sweet Chet, you know you won't be spared none of the details. Love love love. Bazookas and muscle cars for everyone!

          2. FakaktaSouth

            OHJoe would totally give us his blessing, and I TOLD YOU I would do that weird Magdalena crime walk with you. Take yes for an answer dude.

        1. prommie

          Ha! If it all weren't still winding its slow way through the various courts. . . . . .

          And why exactly shouldn't walls count? They hurt, its like penance. The Road to Magdalena, and all that (Fakakta, oh hell, you don't do hiking, never mind).

  8. Tequila Mockingbird

    "God has a mighty future for Dinesh…"

    Dear God: PLEASE let it involve an airport restroom stall, a meth dealer, and/or a one-way mirror.

  9. imissopus

    Best quote of that DB story from the same guy who made the comment about God having a mighty future for Dinesh: "I have to admit, I got a bit over-enamored with him."

    Snake-oil salesman sells snake-oil, yes.

  10. Blueb4sinrise

    [Forgive the lack of attribution, I forget the source, but..] as one internet commenter has said:

    BWWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAH
    BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

  11. rickmaci

    Hmmm. In the absence of any evidence to support his innocence, such as a bill for a separate room at the hotel, the verdict is GUILTY of first degree shagging without a marriage license.

  12. Chet Kincaid_

    Oh, that's a nice, even-handed quote, suitable for all occasions! "God has a mighty future for Jerry Sandusky, but there are some things he has to go through first."

  13. gullywompr

    He "resigned" because the administration said hurtful things, and he was tired of working for a dollar.

  14. KeepFnThatChicken

    He was the president of a christian college. there's so much more to aspire to be… say, a janitor at Cornell.

  15. Chet Kincaid_

    This is the same sentiment they always use when one of their Christianist authority figures gets caught dipping his wick outside the bounds of marriage/vagina. God has a mighty future for Mark Sanford, Ted Haggard…

    1. SorosBot

      Well Mark Sanford has a big future in making racist "spear throwing" comments about our President.

  16. sbj1964

    Dinish,O have the mighty fallen,and the righteous failed.But at least you got caught with a women most conservatives get caught fucking they're gay drug connection prostitutes.Way to stay focused.

  17. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    (We put “resign” in quotes because “he” “made” the decision after the school’s board of trustees met for like two days straight, presumably deciding the wording of the resignation statement “he” would write.)

    totally necessary quotes.

  18. Schmannnity

    He must be a helluva president for each of 250 students to have to pay a $4,000.00 presidential surtax.

    1. actor212

      Y'know, he does this whole shtick about "villains": amoral beasts who support sinful things like abortion and sex outside of marriage.

      I wonder when he'll do an autobiography?

  19. neiltheblaze

    Being a wingnut welfare recipient means you never need to actually show up and do any work.

    Don't these silly people know that? Have they no respect for tradition?

  20. comrad_darkness

    Wait, they expected him to work for his salary? What kind of godless, lower middle class scum do they think he is?

  21. elviouslyqueer

    Wait. What's this?

    “A student asked me about gay marriage recently,” D’Souza tells a crowd of about 60 men in a plush midtown restaurant. “I said, ‘If you want to know what marriage means, look it up in the dictionary.’

    Yep, D'ouchebag. Except my dictionary doesn't have cross-references to "adultery," "deceitfulness," and "hypocrisy."

    1. bikerlaureate

      When I brush people off by telling them to break out their dictionary, no one ever gives me anything close to a million bucks.

    2. Negropolis

      Conservatives certainly know about marriage. I mean, how could they not having so many of them during their lifetime?

    3. NYNYNYjr

      "I said, 'If you want to know what marriage means, why don't we get married for the afternoon and hang out in a motel?'"

    1. MosesInvests

      As I've said before, it wasn't the gheys who destroyed my marriage, it was the straight guy who was boinking my wife.

    2. BadKitty904

      Well, damn. OK, busted – destroying this self-righteous weasel's sham marriage was on the agenda at our last meeting of the Homintern…

  22. pdiddycornchips

    Wingnut welfare queens never die or fade away. He'll be back soon with more insane bullshit and the conservative noise makers will reward him with piles of cash and fresh mangos.

  23. MistaEko

    D’Souza became a non-presence on the college’s official Facebook page throughout 2012

    Yeah! That'll show wait what?

    /at Berkeley they impeach via Pinterest

    1. weejee

      Early money seems to be on the creationists at Discovery Institute. That said, you might get better odds for the Elmer Fudd Union of Concerned Krackpots (eFUCK).

    1. boskolives

      When Rafalca didn't bring home olympic gold, he was put on the market. Correction, he was put in the market and you can find him on aisle 6 in the dogfood section.

  24. Antispandex

    Huh. So, this is the type of fellow you go to when you want to know the real facts about the President of the United States? Interesting. Well, you know, once again the "christian right" appears to be neither christian, nor right. However, I am sure he is as fine a gentleman as his fellow conservative christians. There should be some comfort in that.

    1. BadKitty904

      Isn't there s'posed to be a tiger in that boat, too?

      YES, it's D'inest D'philip D'Souza in "The Life of Poo"!

  25. Steverino247

    "God has a mighty future in store for Dinesh, but there are some things he has to go through first."

    What? The Labors of Hercules? Tarzan's Three Challenges? Another vaginal opening? Don't tease us!

  26. cousinitt

    So lemme see if I have a feel for the story: the Christian college rubbed out the man in the boat.

  27. finallyhappy

    on Yahoo- this is the fault of Obama and liberals because we have such influence on Kings College and because we are so concerned about this guy's adultery or non-adultery

  28. WinterOuthouse

    The excessive regulations by the Obama Administration has caused this man to resign. Another jerb creator gone. GONE! What are we to do? Maybe we should hoard something? Ideas?

  29. MittBorg

    So, he's still married, and his FIANCEE is still married, each of them to someone else, of course. I think we'll need to understand the Indian colonial mentality to figure this one out.

  30. Nostrildamus

    Assuming 400 students, Dinesh get $2,500 per student per year. Or roughly $500 per blow job.

    And I mean roughly.

  31. shelwood46

    It is awesome that he belongs to a school of "thought" that labels itself, voluntarily, as "Christian Apologists".

  32. chascates

    D'Souza did acknowledge he had made one crucial mistake: "I had no idea that it is considered wrong in Christian circles to be engaged prior to being divorced."

    1. viennawoods13

      I had to go to the website to see- could not believe that even THAT dipshit could say that- and yet he did.

  33. Dashboard Buddha

    I have a dream…not like MLK's dream of little black children, little white children, content of character etc. No, I have a dream where conservatives, and especially religious conservatives, take responsibility for their fucking actions!

  34. Dashboard Buddha

    "God has a mighty future for…"

    Yeah, a future giving the rest of us grand mal mockgasms.

  35. glamourdammerung

    Read the story on Yahoo just to see all the Republicans whining about how this is President Obama's fault.

    Personal responsibility!

    1. prommie

      Brother Jed is associated with this! Brother Jed Smock! I fucking love that man! He was a fucking hoot and I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS would go watch his harangues just cause I loved to be called a "fornicator" in that special way with the last syllable stretched out to 3 or 4 syllables!

  36. phillipmarlowe2terry

    So, she graduated from John Carroll High School, Bel Air MD in 2002. That's atleast 20 years younger than Distort D'Newsa. Does that make him a (black) panther?

  37. Humberto_Echo

    I'd love to crack wise about Dinesh, but my hate for him resides on a subatomic level. To do so would risk the fate of the universe.

  38. decentcitizen

    Guys like these fall upward. He'll land on some bogus think tank or become a "commentator". That's why there's no God (or she isn't paying attention).

  39. AznMom420

    In the “about me” section, Ms Denise Odie(the dog) Joseph called herself a “conservative bloggette”.

    "Blogette" that's like what a Frenchman eats for lunch when he's on a diet, right?

  40. AznMom420

    No no no, he said "God has a mighty future for DINNER" Big plans, fatted calf, the whole nine yards.

  41. One_who_wanders

    Late addition to the Beast story reports his salary wasn't nearly that high:

    "Editor's Note: This story originally reported that D'Souza's salary was rumored to be $1 million. According to the most recent IRS filings by The King's College, D'Souza received $194,638 in reportable compensation between August 16, 2010 and Aug. 31, 2011, and an estimated additional compensation of $6,886. The reference to the rumored salary has been removed."

  42. vtxmcrider

    I did not get to see his masterpiece 2016: Obama's America. But I am truly enjoying 2012: Dinesh's Fuck-Up. It is a movie all about Schadenfreude.

  43. vtxmcrider

    I mean, how the fuck could she have resisted? Dinesh is almost as dick-throbbingly handsome as Piyush Jindal.

Comments are closed.