science fact

Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison Correctly Calls Opponent ‘Scumbag’ In Totally Harmonious Debate

total racistSo here is this Chris Fields fellow, running against OH NOEZ A REVERSE RACIST MUSLIN TERRORIST, Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison, and apparently he is a “low-life scumbag.” We know this because Keith Ellison said so during their debate this morning, and he hasn’t lied to us yet! Chris Fields on the other hand, is sort of … postmodern, as seen in that thing we just linked to twice and will link to again.

Chris Fields: “I just want to point your attention to a few things that are blatantly misrepresented.”
City Pages: “In my post?”
Fields: “Yes, in your post. I did not explicitly call Keith a reverse racist. I didn’t. I didn’t.”
CP: “Ok, I’m looking at the ad right now, it says, ‘reverse racism.’ And there’s a picture of Keith Ellison next to it.”
Fields: “Ok, it says two words. What about the rest of the words there? I mean, do they count? And I’m not trying to be confrontational here –”

Oh there’s so much more! WE SUGGEST YOU READ IT. So anyway, today’s debate.

From CityPages:

Things got so heated that at one point it seemed as though KFAI cut away from their coverage in fears the two might come to blows. When they came back from a commercial break about 30 seconds later, Ellison could be heard still yelling at Fields, then the audio quickly cut away again.

And more!

“You’re really stupid for bringing up the domestic violence,” Ellison said. “You’re a scumbag. You’re a lowlife scumbag.”

Here, via Patch, is a transcript of the exchange that ensued after Fields briefly brought up Ellison’s 2010 divorce:

CHRIS FIELDS: I’m trying to remove the biggest obstacle to fixing things. You’re focused on looking into my divorce papers.

KEITH ELLISON: My daughter is in the next room — I’m exercising a lot of self-control right now.

CHRIS FIELDS: My ex-wife was crushed by what you did.

KEITH ELLISON: You know I didn’t do anything.

The debate was “temporarily put on hold” shortly thereafter, and when it resumed, both candidates had adopted more civil tones — at least until the end, when Ellison told Fields, “I look forward to your concession speech, sir.”

Here’s some audio, from Patch. They just yell the whole time!

We are pretty sure Tagg Romney wants to punch Keith Ellison, or Chris Fields. Probably both of them, since they’re both black.


About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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          1. Gleem McShineys

            Can I interest you in a fine silicone covered titanium? Comes with the undercoating built right in. Of course, we'll upgrade your order to President, free of charge!

    1. Antispandex

      OH… I get it! You can't compare Tagg, with the name of a child of a former Wasillabilly Governor's child, in a humorous way. Sorry!

  1. Typodong3

    Is Chris Fields a tax-evading, dog-fighting, terrorist, marxist/socialist sexual predator? YOU DECIDE.

    Hey I didnt explicitly say those things. I was just ASKING.

  2. Schmannnity

    Given the current discourse rules, Ellison should have pulled a Mitt and added "STFU and sit down."

  3. Pragmatist2

    I am a constituent of Keith Ellison's and I never heard of this "low-life scumbag" running against him until just this minute. I'd say Keith hasn't got much to worry about. And Fields may have trouble getting his garbage collected.

  4. bikerlaureate

    Clearly Ellison needs to send out a mailer with a nice picture of Chris Fields on it, and the words "LOW-LIFE SCUMBAG" on the other side of the page in a nice, big stencil font.
    His campaign staff seems savvy enough to suss out "the rest of the words there".

  5. FakaktaSouth

    I hate the phrase Reverse Racism. It's like, black or Muslim or whatever people can't just be plain old racist? Like women have to be reverse sexists? (like reverse cowgirl?)

    And also, a lot of other words on the paper? Like, Keith, Ellison and is? I thought these people were the ones who KNEW what the definition of "is" is?

    1. docterry6973

      Reverse cowgirl? What's the reverse of a cowgirl? A cowboy? Indian? Indian princess? Language is hard.

  6. ManchuCandidate

    "My opponent, pork eating, multiple wife marrying, porn loving, card carrying AQ member, communist nazi homo Demrat Keith Ellison is being mean to me for no fucking reason. Waaaaah"

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        Figures. Black? Republican? Both at the same time?

        That means either ex-military or chickenhawk radio talk show host.

  7. Lucidamente1

    Sir, I demand an apology! Calling Chris Fields "a low-life scumbag" is an insult to low-life scubags everywhere!

    1. docterry6973

      Being a Romney, he will get four or five of his toadies to hold down the black person first. It's the Romney way.

  8. skmind

    Well, is Chris Fields a child porn producer? I am not saying that he is, just putting it out there. I mean, has he ever denied being a child porn producer?

    1. actor212

      You know, I've read that in at least two places on the internet just now. I wonder if there's any truth to the idea that FIELDS PRODUCES KIDDIE PORN?

    2. Goonemeritus

      I’m not sure where he would find time with such a large dog fighting business he hasn't denied owning.

  9. YouBetcha

    My goodness, how many Blah Muslins are we going to elect in this country before we say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

    1. bikerlaureate

      Real Amercians will not stand for it!
      Send 'em all back to Muslimistan where they belong!!!1!

  10. SexySmurf

    Ellison said. “You’re a scumbag. You’re a lowlife scumbag.”

    Keith Ellison added, "And I should know; I have binders full of lowlife scumbags."

    1. FakaktaSouth

      Oh my god, "not to be confused with jacking off" – I love a detailed explanation. Even if it WOULD be easy to confuse that with what this guy is REALLY doing, that's one hell of an almost homonym.

    1. Negropolis

      I mean, it just proves that Dr. King's dream is finally being realized. Only in America, baby. Only in America. We've made it. **tears up**

  11. BlueStateLibel

    During the Rmoney knock-down fight the other night, I betcha there were a few times when the Secret Service was actually debating if they should intervene. "That Morman takes another step…"

    1. Toomush_Infer

      Doesn't Romney get some Secret Service of his own at this point?….I'm just an advocate of Let's You and Him Fight, and brawls….

      1. BlueStateLibel

        I think the Secret Service's first duty is to the POTUS, not some vulture capitalist bot. Maybe next debate will provide much-needed answers.

    2. Disassembly

      Could you imagine that? One hits the other, both Secret Service details get involved and then everyone in the crowd jumps in. It'd be like the end of Blazing Saddles!

      1. shelwood46

        You've ruined the third debate for me. If this doesn't happen, it will be a crushing disappointment.

    3. MittBorg

      I think Bamz plays some pretty rough basketball with his SS dudes. They probly know better than to try and interfere with the major beatdown he will surely inflict on FlabbyCheeks, if he wants to. I LOVED how he GROWLED at Mitt about politicizing Libya. Right then, it was obvious that Mitt was just a pack dog, trying for Alpha and failing.

      1. Generation[redacted]

        Latest reports indicate they are both donning exoskeleton battletech mecha suits and preparing to battle in the ruins of an ancient earth city.

  12. emmelemm

    I totally don't understand that exchange. Fields says Ellison looked into *Fields'* divorce papers? But Fields actually looked into *Ellison's* divorce papers and found some domestic violence nonsense?


  13. actor212

    You know why this debate got so testy? It was held at 9 in the fucking morning. Fields hasn't had even his second drink by then!

    Well, I mean, he hasn't denied being a drunk, either.

  14. An_Outhouse

    CHRIS FIELDS: My ex-wife was crushed by what you did.
    ELLISON: That's not what she told me last night.

  15. Antispandex

    "Klan Member is only in there once. It's just two words. What about the rest? They don't count?"

  16. CthuNHu

    This is an outrage. Fields should sue Ellison for slander and libel — in Merrie Olde Englande, where truth is not a defense.

  17. Oblios_Cap

    Thanks, Faux "News! Now everytime I see the phrase "You decide", you've trained me to know that whatever claim is being made beforehand is pure bullshit.

  18. Dumbedup

    Isn't that what Obama wanted to say the other night? Isn't it waht anyone running against a GOP'r wants to say. "Fuck you, you fucking scumbag piece of shit" But can't, because would look crazy etc.

  19. grex1949

    I agree. Congressman Ellison will be re-elected with no problems whatsoever. He's done a great job, and I'm proud to have him as my representative in Congress.

  20. Callyson

    UPDATE :: Keith Ellison apologizes for calling Chris Fields a scumbag

    Aw, crap…I was hoping he would stick with it…

  21. Negropolis

    You know, Ellison is probably right, but Ellison shouldn't even be debating this clown to begin with.

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