SCIENCE FACT  2:29 pm October 18, 2012

Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison Correctly Calls Opponent ‘Scumbag’ In Totally Harmonious Debate

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

total racistSo here is this Chris Fields fellow, running against OH NOEZ A REVERSE RACIST MUSLIN TERRORIST, Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison, and apparently he is a “low-life scumbag.” We know this because Keith Ellison said so during their debate this morning, and he hasn’t lied to us yet! Chris Fields on the other hand, is sort of … postmodern, as seen in that thing we just linked to twice and will link to again.

Chris Fields: “I just want to point your attention to a few things that are blatantly misrepresented.”
City Pages: “In my post?”
Fields: “Yes, in your post. I did not explicitly call Keith a reverse racist. I didn’t. I didn’t.”
CP: “Ok, I’m looking at the ad right now, it says, ‘reverse racism.’ And there’s a picture of Keith Ellison next to it.”
Fields: “Ok, it says two words. What about the rest of the words there? I mean, do they count? And I’m not trying to be confrontational here –”

Oh there’s so much more! WE SUGGEST YOU READ IT. So anyway, today’s debate.

From CityPages:

Things got so heated that at one point it seemed as though KFAI cut away from their coverage in fears the two might come to blows. When they came back from a commercial break about 30 seconds later, Ellison could be heard still yelling at Fields, then the audio quickly cut away again.

And more!

“You’re really stupid for bringing up the domestic violence,” Ellison said. “You’re a scumbag. You’re a lowlife scumbag.”

Here, via Patch, is a transcript of the exchange that ensued after Fields briefly brought up Ellison’s 2010 divorce:

CHRIS FIELDS: I’m trying to remove the biggest obstacle to fixing things. You’re focused on looking into my divorce papers.

KEITH ELLISON: My daughter is in the next room — I’m exercising a lot of self-control right now.

CHRIS FIELDS: My ex-wife was crushed by what you did.

KEITH ELLISON: You know I didn’t do anything.

The debate was “temporarily put on hold” shortly thereafter, and when it resumed, both candidates had adopted more civil tones — at least until the end, when Ellison told Fields, “I look forward to your concession speech, sir.”

Here’s some audio, from Patch. They just yell the whole time!

We are pretty sure Tagg Romney wants to punch Keith Ellison, or Chris Fields. Probably both of them, since they’re both black.

[CityPages]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 146 comments }

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 2:30 pm

I love me some Muslin congressman

Tequila Mockingbird October 18, 2012 at 2:42 pm

I prefer Chintz Congressmen, myself.

elviouslyqueer October 18, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Taffeta or GTFO.

bikerlaureate October 18, 2012 at 2:51 pm

What, no love for acetate?

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 2:55 pm

TULLE LIBEL!

mrpuma2u October 18, 2012 at 2:50 pm

When do we houndstooth people get a voice in congress???

emmelemm October 18, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Just behind the herringbone people.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

And just in front of the plaids.

MittBorg October 18, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Nobody ever remembers about the Czechs, do they?

Except maybe Liz Cheney.

MittBorg October 18, 2012 at 4:01 pm

You're a cat. HTH do you get away with being a houndstooth?

MittBorg October 18, 2012 at 4:00 pm

I just luvs me sum Keef.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 2:32 pm

So we now have a lowlife scumbag.

Do I hear "high life scumbag"? Anyone bid for "high life scumba– Sit down, Mrs Romney…

bikerlaureate October 18, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Hey, now, scumbags are people too.

shelwood46 October 18, 2012 at 4:57 pm

That has not actually been proven by science.

CommieLibunatic October 18, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I think we usually call those Bankers.

Lascauxcaveman October 18, 2012 at 3:28 pm

"Why, some of best friends are low-life scumbags."

MittBorg October 18, 2012 at 4:02 pm

ALL of my friends are lowlife scumbags. I need a better set of friends.

LesBontemps October 18, 2012 at 5:41 pm

You'll need to stop hanging around here, then.

MittBorg October 18, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Well … that's kinda what I meant, but *I* didn't want to be the one to say it. (runs away swiftly)

Goonemeritus October 18, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Poltifact rates the claim that Chris Fields is a lowlife scumbag totally true.

sbj1964 October 18, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Tagg Romeny would never fight a Muslim.He is a draft dodger like his dad.

Antispandex October 18, 2012 at 3:30 pm

OH… I get it! You can't compare Tagg, with the name of a child of a former Wasillabilly Governor's child, in a humorous way. Sorry!

Stevola October 19, 2012 at 1:28 am

He's not a draft dodger. We don't have a draft now. He's a chickenshit.

Typodong3 October 18, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Is Chris Fields a tax-evading, dog-fighting, terrorist, marxist/socialist sexual predator? YOU DECIDE.

Hey I didnt explicitly say those things. I was just ASKING.

hagajim October 18, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I think I might have to go purchase some muslin just for this.

MittBorg October 18, 2012 at 4:03 pm

I have a bale or two. Don't ask.

Schmannnity October 18, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Given the current discourse rules, Ellison should have pulled a Mitt and added "STFU and sit down."

Schmannnity October 18, 2012 at 2:36 pm

NOT SECRET MUSLIM!

Pragmatist2 October 18, 2012 at 2:37 pm

I am a constituent of Keith Ellison's and I never heard of this "low-life scumbag" running against him until just this minute. I'd say Keith hasn't got much to worry about. And Fields may have trouble getting his garbage collected.

MittBorg October 18, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Lucky you to have such a terrific Rep. He's good folks. Smart as a whip, too.

bikerlaureate October 18, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Clearly Ellison needs to send out a mailer with a nice picture of Chris Fields on it, and the words "LOW-LIFE SCUMBAG" on the other side of the page in a nice, big stencil font.
His campaign staff seems savvy enough to suss out "the rest of the words there".

barto October 18, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Can't we all just get along?!?

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Dang, u beat me to it.

FakaktaSouth October 18, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I hate the phrase Reverse Racism. It's like, black or Muslim or whatever people can't just be plain old racist? Like women have to be reverse sexists? (like reverse cowgirl?)

And also, a lot of other words on the paper? Like, Keith, Ellison and is? I thought these people were the ones who KNEW what the definition of "is" is?

FNMA October 18, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Reverse cowgirl? I think we all can get behind that. Wait a minute…I think I'm doing that wrong…

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 2:45 pm

The thing I like about the reverse cowgirl is you get to talk about her behind her back to her face.

Fare la Volpe October 18, 2012 at 2:46 pm

And fuck her over while you're at it — ba-da bing!

Yellerdawg October 18, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Plus, it avoids having to get into awkward positions for the camera angle. So I've been told.

docterry6973 October 18, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Reverse cowgirl? What's the reverse of a cowgirl? A cowboy? Indian? Indian princess? Language is hard.

Toomush_Infer October 18, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Things get a leetle testy next to that fiscal cliff…..

ManchuCandidate October 18, 2012 at 2:39 pm

"My opponent, pork eating, multiple wife marrying, porn loving, card carrying AQ member, communist nazi homo Demrat Keith Ellison is being mean to me for no fucking reason. Waaaaah"

bikerlaureate October 18, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Bully, victim, bully, victim, bully, victim…

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Give Ellison credit: Fields is an ex-Marine

Lascauxcaveman October 18, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Figures. Black? Republican? Both at the same time?

That means either ex-military or chickenhawk radio talk show host.

gullywompr October 18, 2012 at 2:40 pm

You know who else's concession speech I'm looking forward to hearing?

Texan_Bulldog October 18, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Michelle Bachmann? (Speaking of crazy Minnesotans)

grex1949 October 18, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Amen!

ChuckieJesus October 18, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Two times!

Schmannnity October 18, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Joe Girardi?

Goonemeritus October 18, 2012 at 2:53 pm

It can’t be Hitler in this case.

MittBorg October 18, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Besides, that's MY line.

Goonemeritus October 18, 2012 at 4:25 pm

When you're right you're right

Disassembly October 18, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Pizza Hutt sausage?

MittBorg October 18, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Christie the Hutt sausage?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 18, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Paul Ryan twice?

tessiee October 18, 2012 at 8:25 pm

DINGDINGDING!!! We have a WINNAH!

Blinkthink October 21, 2012 at 9:49 am

Silly, they don't let the Veep give a speech…he wouldn't give specifics anyway.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Allen West? Joe Walsh?

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Mitch McConnell's?

But *only* if he sings this when he goes – http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embed

bikerlaureate October 18, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Todd Akin?

GregComlish October 18, 2012 at 3:25 pm

"Hotdogs! Get your Hotdogs! Polish Sausage! Can't beat these prices!"

gullywompr October 18, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Speech, not stand.

Lascauxcaveman October 18, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Scott. Fucking. Brown.

That one will be one to savor.

Blinkthink October 21, 2012 at 9:51 am

That will be so sweet…..gonna have the bubbly ready.

Mumbletypeg October 18, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Judge Reinhold?

Callyson October 18, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Joe Walsh's?

(I almost typed Hoe Walsh. I think I was right the first time.)

MittBorg October 18, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Mittens. I'm betting $10K of his Rmoney on it.

shelwood46 October 18, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Holy shit, how can I be this late and no one has said AOTK?

LesBontemps October 18, 2012 at 5:46 pm

AOTK.

Lucidamente1 October 18, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Sir, I demand an apology! Calling Chris Fields "a low-life scumbag" is an insult to low-life scubags everywhere!

Fare la Volpe October 18, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Tagg Romney does not punch black people – he isn't a barbarian!

He has the help do it.

Toomush_Infer October 18, 2012 at 2:53 pm

And they wear white sheets so as not to be recognized….

Mittaplasia October 18, 2012 at 3:28 pm

…sheets NOT made from Egyptian cotton because muslins.

Fare la Volpe October 18, 2012 at 5:01 pm

It's common knowledge that black people are very afraid of ghosts.

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 3:04 pm

He'd be afraid to.

docterry6973 October 18, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Being a Romney, he will get four or five of his toadies to hold down the black person first. It's the Romney way.

johnnyzhivago October 18, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Reverse racism would be like a white person who goes out of their way to be nice to non-white people?

Disassembly October 18, 2012 at 2:57 pm

No, I think it's regular racism south of the equator.

Lascauxcaveman October 18, 2012 at 4:00 pm

How about when you call the president a reggin?

MittBorg October 18, 2012 at 4:25 pm

I like that. Could y'all be reverse-racist to me, just for today?

skmind October 18, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Well, is Chris Fields a child porn producer? I am not saying that he is, just putting it out there. I mean, has he ever denied being a child porn producer?

Fare la Volpe October 18, 2012 at 2:44 pm

The American people need to know if Chris Fields produces child pornography.

DahBoner October 18, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Impeach him.

bikerlaureate October 18, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Questions will be asked.
There will be the asking of questions.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 2:59 pm

You know, I've read that in at least two places on the internet just now. I wonder if there's any truth to the idea that FIELDS PRODUCES KIDDIE PORN?

Goonemeritus October 18, 2012 at 2:59 pm

I’m not sure where he would find time with such a large dog fighting business he hasn't denied owning.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Well, that would explain the cats he allegedly drowns. Also, not denied.

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 3:05 pm

And has he stopped beating his wife/husband/kids/pets?

DahBoner October 18, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Yet? Sadly, no.

Negropolis October 19, 2012 at 12:43 am

Just producer? You sell him short. I heard he's also an actor/director.

YouBetcha October 18, 2012 at 2:42 pm

My goodness, how many Blah Muslins are we going to elect in this country before we say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

bikerlaureate October 18, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Real Amercians will not stand for it!
Send 'em all back to Muslimistan where they belong!!!1!

MittBorg October 18, 2012 at 4:26 pm

That's "MusliNistan" to you, buddy.

tracyhasfun October 18, 2012 at 3:21 pm

I'm sitting here in a shitty mood, and your post alone made me giggle.

SexySmurf October 18, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Ellison said. “You’re a scumbag. You’re a lowlife scumbag.”

Keith Ellison added, "And I should know; I have binders full of lowlife scumbags."

HRH_Maddie October 18, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Some of my best friends are lowlife scumbags.

tessiee October 18, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Only some of them?

SorosBot October 18, 2012 at 2:45 pm

See, that flier doesn't call Ellison a "reverse racist", it just asks the question if he is a reverse racist, which is totally different. Really.

FakaktaSouth October 18, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Oh my god, "not to be confused with jacking off" – I love a detailed explanation. Even if it WOULD be easy to confuse that with what this guy is REALLY doing, that's one hell of an almost homonym.

SorosBot October 18, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Though there are a lot of similarities between jacking off and the JAQing off Chris Fields did.

magic_titty October 18, 2012 at 2:46 pm

These Field Hand vs. House Negro debates are really starting to get lively…

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 3:00 pm

*zing*

Negropolis October 19, 2012 at 12:46 am

I mean, it just proves that Dr. King's dream is finally being realized. Only in America, baby. Only in America. We've made it. **tears up**

BlueStateLibel October 18, 2012 at 2:48 pm

During the Rmoney knock-down fight the other night, I betcha there were a few times when the Secret Service was actually debating if they should intervene. "That Morman takes another step…"

Toomush_Infer October 18, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Doesn't Romney get some Secret Service of his own at this point?….I'm just an advocate of Let's You and Him Fight, and brawls….

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Needs moar folding chairs.

BlueStateLibel October 18, 2012 at 3:12 pm

I think the Secret Service's first duty is to the POTUS, not some vulture capitalist bot. Maybe next debate will provide much-needed answers.

Disassembly October 18, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Could you imagine that? One hits the other, both Secret Service details get involved and then everyone in the crowd jumps in. It'd be like the end of Blazing Saddles!

MittBorg October 18, 2012 at 4:31 pm

You brute, you brute!

jqheywood October 18, 2012 at 4:42 pm

How did he do such wonderful work with such tiny feet?

shelwood46 October 18, 2012 at 5:09 pm

You've ruined the third debate for me. If this doesn't happen, it will be a crushing disappointment.

doloras October 18, 2012 at 5:50 pm

… and then Obama and Biden sneak out to watch the end of the election at a nearby theatre?

MittBorg October 18, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I think Bamz plays some pretty rough basketball with his SS dudes. They probly know better than to try and interfere with the major beatdown he will surely inflict on FlabbyCheeks, if he wants to. I LOVED how he GROWLED at Mitt about politicizing Libya. Right then, it was obvious that Mitt was just a pack dog, trying for Alpha and failing.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Editrix, a follow up: apparently, Ellison has apologized for calling Fields a scumbag. I'd link, but I'm firewalled.

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Now, he's challenged him to a duel.

Generation[redacted] October 18, 2012 at 3:17 pm

Latest reports indicate they are both donning exoskeleton battletech mecha suits and preparing to battle in the ruins of an ancient earth city.

Negropolis October 19, 2012 at 12:47 am

Detroit?

I can say that because I'm from there and so is Congressman Ellis.

elviouslyqueer October 18, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Yep. But notice that the "lowlife" part still stands. Conspicuously, even.

emmelemm October 18, 2012 at 3:04 pm

I totally don't understand that exchange. Fields says Ellison looked into *Fields'* divorce papers? But Fields actually looked into *Ellison's* divorce papers and found some domestic violence nonsense?

I JUST DON'T GET IT.

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I think, when poo is being flung, it's best not to stop and analyze the poo.

emmelemm October 18, 2012 at 3:35 pm

You are wise.

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 3:22 pm

No, Fields accused Ellison of hiring somebody to uncover the fact that domestic violence was an issue in Field's divorce. Ellison denies this. Ellison has never been accused of domestic violence.
http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2012/10/keith_

emmelemm October 18, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Danke.

HempDogbane October 18, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Where's Candy when we need her?

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 3:10 pm

You know why this debate got so testy? It was held at 9 in the fucking morning. Fields hasn't had even his second drink by then!

Well, I mean, he hasn't denied being a drunk, either.

An_Outhouse October 18, 2012 at 3:14 pm

CHRIS FIELDS: My ex-wife was crushed by what you did.
ELLISON: That's not what she told me last night.

DahBoner October 18, 2012 at 4:49 pm

# WINNING

HogeyeGrex October 19, 2012 at 2:23 am

Gentlemen put their weight on their elbows.

Antispandex October 18, 2012 at 3:17 pm

"Klan Member is only in there once. It's just two words. What about the rest? They don't count?"

CthuNHu October 18, 2012 at 3:20 pm

This is an outrage. Fields should sue Ellison for slander and libel — in Merrie Olde Englande, where truth is not a defense.

An_Outhouse October 18, 2012 at 3:21 pm

How could we be missing the other important stories being reported in the City Pages:

Hilton Hotels Corp. denies misconduct in Minneapolis orgy
http://blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2008/12/hilton

MittBorg October 18, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Sweet Lawdy Jebus!

docterry6973 October 18, 2012 at 4:43 pm

And City Pages includes a photo of what an orgy might look like. And it looks like fun!

Oblios_Cap October 18, 2012 at 3:21 pm

Thanks, Faux "News! Now everytime I see the phrase "You decide", you've trained me to know that whatever claim is being made beforehand is pure bullshit.

Dumbedup October 18, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Isn't that what Obama wanted to say the other night? Isn't it waht anyone running against a GOP'r wants to say. "Fuck you, you fucking scumbag piece of shit" But can't, because would look crazy etc.

grex1949 October 18, 2012 at 3:23 pm

I agree. Congressman Ellison will be re-elected with no problems whatsoever. He's done a great job, and I'm proud to have him as my representative in Congress.

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Well that's interesting, but not up to the level of DuBois vs. Washington or X vs. King. Keep tryin', Brothers!

elviouslyqueer October 18, 2012 at 3:28 pm

CHRIS FIELDS: My ex-wife was crushed by what you did.

KEITH ELLISON: You know I didn’t do anything.

Oh gurl, the earrings is COMIN OFF!

DerrickWildcat October 18, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Yeah Keith, You're not being a racist in the way you're normally supposed to be a racist.

Callyson October 18, 2012 at 4:02 pm

UPDATE :: Keith Ellison apologizes for calling Chris Fields a scumbag

Aw, crap…I was hoping he would stick with it…

ChuckieJesus October 18, 2012 at 6:47 pm

I voted for this guy, he reps my area. It's so nice when I don't regret a vote.

ttommyunger October 18, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Not the most dignified of exchanges, amirite?

Negropolis October 19, 2012 at 12:52 am

You know, Ellison is probably right, but Ellison shouldn't even be debating this clown to begin with.

Gleem McShineys October 18, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Can I interest you in a fine silicone covered titanium? Comes with the undercoating built right in. Of course, we'll upgrade your order to President, free of charge!

CindynEncinitas October 19, 2012 at 12:37 pm

I heart you, MittBorg… *sigh*

MittBorg October 19, 2012 at 3:26 pm

I heart you too, sweetie. (big friendly hug)

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