Filthy iPads Finally Murder Newsweek Print Edition

by Doktor Zoom

Ha Ha! Your medium is dying!We hope you damn hipsters with your Kindlepads and iNookies are happy. Newsweek, a bastion of middle-brow media culture since its 1933 inception, will convert to an all-digital format in 2013, according to an announcement today on Tina Brown’s Internet Tendency.

We mostly remember Newsweek from our college days as “the one that’s a dollar cheaper for the student subscription” and as the originator of the “Conventional Wisdom Watch,” which taught a post-Reagan America how to snark, although more recently it was also known as “the one that didn’t darken its O.J. mugshot cover” and “the one with that stupid ‘Muslim Rage’ cover.” The publication had long been a loss-leader for the Washington Post / Kaplan Test-Prep Company, which sold it in 2010 to Tina Brown’s Home for Disgraced Journalists. Brown’s announcement today insists that

We are transitioning Newsweek, not saying goodbye to it. We remain committed to Newsweek and to the journalism that it represents. This decision is not about the quality of the brand or the journalism—that is as powerful as ever. It is about the challenging economics of print publishing and distribution.

In other (and somewhat shocking) news, Newsweek isn’t able to make a go of it in print even with 1.5 million subscribers. Apparently photoshops of Old Princess Di don’t come cheap.

[Daily Beast]

 
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{ 186 comments }

SayItWithWookies October 18, 2012 at 1:14 pm

Oh great — now where will I get my week-old news?

nounverb911 October 18, 2012 at 1:15 pm

Gawker?

Crank_Tango October 18, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Too soon!

kittensdontlie October 18, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Without an Mac-time Machine, you are out of luck.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 1:48 pm

From Wonket, of course.

I posted this in Wonkville hours ago.

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Dok Zoom is not a vending machine into which you shove a tip and get a post!! Let the man ruminate!

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Dok Zoom is not a vending machine into which you shove a tip and get a post!!

You'd be surprised… ;-)

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Uh, just keep that between you and him.

SorosBot October 18, 2012 at 1:50 pm

CNN?

Negropolis October 19, 2012 at 1:04 am

Oh, don't you worry, Time is still in print…

Weenus299 October 18, 2012 at 1:14 pm

As a collagist, I am really fucking pissed. I JUST renewed a subscription to Tina Brown and her shitty magazine just so I can have something to cut on weekends.

MissTaken October 18, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Now how am I going to 'write' ransom notes? The fonts in People just aren't scary enough.

SorosBot October 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Is there finally a use for the articles in Hustler?

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Articles?

PsycWench October 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Usually I just raid the magazine recycling bin at our local…oh, maybe I've said too much.

Doktor Zoom October 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Easy! Just print out the photos from the online edition and cut those!

Weenus299 October 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm

How do I get a printer? It's just as well. Newsweek and Time both have gone to very poor paper stock in recent years. The paper they use is barely thicker than tissue paper and it wrinkles easily. I may have to get a sophisticated printing thing sooner or later. Just so I can print things from Tina Brown's Fucking Shitty Magazine She And those Other Brits Completely Destroyed.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Try a fashion magazine.

Magazine, in case you don't know, is something you find on a "newsstand" with glossy…what? What's a newsstand?

Oh brother…*koffkoff* Get of fmy lawn!

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 2:33 pm

That's easy! "Newsstand" is that one little wooden app that Apple moved my measly 10-article-a-month NYT app into on my iPhone, so I would peck around wondering what the fuck happened to it.

Come here a minute October 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Oh, you could make something beautiful from a chopped up Kindle.

deanbooth October 18, 2012 at 1:38 pm

You inject Newsweek into people's lips?

Weenus299 October 18, 2012 at 1:41 pm

The gooey news consistency plumps them right up.

HogeyeGrex October 18, 2012 at 2:01 pm

I'm a bit concerned that you cut Tina Brown on the weekends.

M. Bouffant October 19, 2012 at 12:22 am

S'OK, long as Weenus isn't cutting her/himself on wknds.

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Haha, I still have a collage down in the basement on the first Gulf War culled from Newsweek, that a friend and I worked on as a poetry/art project.

nounverb911 October 18, 2012 at 1:15 pm

The WSJ is already contentless, when does it go paperless too, also?

widestanceromance October 18, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Too Noon!

OneYieldRegular October 18, 2012 at 1:15 pm

This is terrible news. Guess I'll have to rely entirely on TIME for what will be now be an entirely lopsided cover story on the historical Jesus.

MoeDeLawn October 18, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I know. Newsweek woulda put a 5-year-old on a stool next to the Cross …

eeew. Never mind.

memzilla October 18, 2012 at 1:16 pm

[Tina Brown:] "We are transitioning Newsweek…"

Yeah, just like Mitt Rmoney "transitioned" dozens of American companies.

Career Tip: If your boss ever connects the words "transition" and "committed to" together in a meeting, it's time to freshen your résumé.

Weenus299 October 18, 2012 at 1:32 pm

It does make it easy for Tina Brown to move all the editorial staff of her Shitty Magazine back to Merrie Olde Englande. So theye canne commente aboute Colonial elections, what what!

PugglesRule October 18, 2012 at 3:30 pm

I bet the staff at the New Orleans Times-Picayune got a memo about transitioning too.

Blueb4sinrise October 18, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Yep, just transitioning to another plane of existence. See ya on the other side.

memzilla October 18, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Do the windows open on that plane?

Blueb4sinrise October 18, 2012 at 1:40 pm

OH FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ChillBill October 18, 2012 at 1:17 pm

Candy Crowley did this, from her iPad.

Come here a minute October 18, 2012 at 1:18 pm

When the papa finds out, he will begin to shout.

Beowoof October 18, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Where will Niall Ferguson land? I hope back in socialist Ireland, but I am pretty sure they don't want the useless fuck.

Negropolis October 19, 2012 at 1:12 am

Scotsman/Clan Fergusson libel!

Beowoof October 19, 2012 at 7:15 am

Not the whole clan just one useless pos.

Porter Melmoth October 18, 2012 at 1:18 pm

True rumor: Tina just got hired over at 'Time'.

gullywompr October 18, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Who could have predicted this? Oh wait… everyboody.

I'm still waiting for office supply stores to go belly up (I cannot stand desktop printers with their paper and their ink and their obsolescence). So long, Staples, you brick and mortar dinosaur.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 1:50 pm

You know what I miss about stationery stores?

Everything

gullywompr October 18, 2012 at 1:57 pm

What's a "stationery"?

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 2:04 pm

*WHEEEEEEEEEEZE* Well, let me *koffkoff* tell you…it all goes back to when you could buy paper 5 bees to the ream….we called them bees because nickels back then had pictures of bumblebees on them…

Generation[redacted] October 18, 2012 at 2:32 pm

If there's an earthquake, the safest place to be is in a stationary store.

Generation[redacted] October 18, 2012 at 2:32 pm

I give Dunder Mifflin another six weeks, tops.

SnarkOff October 18, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Aw, I miss the print media. The computer screen just doesn't have the same delicious new-magazine smell.

kittensdontlie October 18, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Yea, but trees are happier.

SnarkOff October 18, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Trouble is, I'm not convinced that the inevitable poisons in our groundwater from all of those discarded Kindles and Nooks will be any better for the environment.

grace_nearing October 18, 2012 at 2:15 pm

That new-magazine smell is from volatile off-gasses that give that heavenly smell to carcinogenesis. Same with new cars.

Beowoof October 18, 2012 at 1:19 pm

How did I get on the need to be approved list?

weejee October 18, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Insufficient tail wagging?

Beowoof October 18, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Gee a couple of naughty words and I am now persona non grata. Make a crack about sending Niall Ferguson back to Ireland and boom, you're in the need approval list.

PugglesRule October 18, 2012 at 3:31 pm

So the Editrices really do use the banhammer here? I'll try to keep my potty words in check.

weejee October 18, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Not sure that shit will work.

HistoriCat October 18, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Potty words are not usually a problem. Intense Debate has some mysterious hiccups that no one really understands.

HistoriCat October 18, 2012 at 4:31 pm

You're a canine in a feline-centric world?

Or, more seriously, it could be part of the mysterious Intense Debate workings which no one understands.

FlownOver October 18, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Cackling has been heard near the Luce mausoleum.

EatsBabyDingos October 18, 2012 at 1:20 pm

In the good news category, that's 284 tons of newsprint that won't be bought from Georgia-Pacific and it's Kochsuckers.

Jus_Wonderin October 18, 2012 at 2:23 pm

But, who will think of the added workload to all the pixels of the world. Hunh? Hunh?

PugglesRule October 18, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Yay for screwing the Koch brothers!!

Negropolis October 19, 2012 at 1:14 am

Yeah, but now it's all transfered to rare earth minerals in China and FoxConn.

el_donaldo October 18, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Or, Newsweek needs to find a way to honor obligations to advertisers while not paying anymore printing costs until they can justifiably call it quits.

Or maybe the history gods are punishing them for publishing that awful Niall Ferguson piece.

SorosBot October 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Now who is going to claim that they have proof that heaven is totally real or that the Jesus of the Bible really for sure existed?

Biel_ze_Bubba October 18, 2012 at 2:38 pm

There's always WND, where Jeebus, UFOs, sasquatch, and conservatard "values" get fair and balanced treatment.

Oblios_Cap October 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Magazines just haven't been the same since Spy folded.

No sacred cows, man!

kittensdontlie October 18, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Even MAD cut back on it's subscription frequency….damn electrons.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 1:50 pm

I'm holding out hopes that Graydon Carter starts drinking again

ph7 October 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm

It's harder to swat a fly with an Ipad, though.

RedneckMuslin October 18, 2012 at 1:38 pm

And harder to clean on the bottom of the bird cage.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 1:52 pm
Doktor Zoom October 18, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Verisimilitude? You're soaking in it.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Holy crap! That's the coolest thing ever!¹

¹ "Ever" defined as "since the second beer at lunch"

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 2:38 pm

That's great!

Jus_Wonderin October 18, 2012 at 2:24 pm

This is good timing for me, as I have already trained my dogs.

Negropolis October 19, 2012 at 1:15 am

But, boy, when you really do, they are really dead.

I_P October 18, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Where will my 84-year-old mother get her news now?

Porter Melmoth October 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

TMZ, baby. Remember the little old lady from Pasadena!

ph7 October 18, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Readers Digest, of course.

Mumbletypeg October 18, 2012 at 1:22 pm

It's a sort of post-romantic era to transition into, yes. Love affairs with dated household pasttimes never end well. Like when Tim Allen looked at his teevee wife that one time early 90s and said "Well I fell in love with ya. I'll fall apart with ya too."
Then he went over to the ToolTime® girl, took her gently by the elbow, together walked offstage from Richard Karn and Patricia Richardson never saw her husband again.

Negropolis October 19, 2012 at 1:19 am

ROTFLMAO!

Tequila Mockingbird October 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

America has apparently not been buying enough copies of magazines featuring stories about Photoshopped Royals, Mommy Porn or Hipster Jesus. SHAME ON YOU, AMERICA.

Crank_Tango October 18, 2012 at 1:28 pm

I am buying all the mommy porn I can get! Although I really don't know why, those nipples scare me.

Toomush_Infer October 18, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Collector value!…

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 1:53 pm

*Jedi hand motion*

You don't need to ask why…

Weenus299 October 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Yeah, I guess we know now that headline writers can't declare War On ____ everythng forever.

Negropolis October 19, 2012 at 1:24 am

Photoshopped dead royals. Don't forget the dead part.

tihond October 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

My high school-era, Newsweek-reading self cries a single tear. Hang in there dude, someday you'll touch a boob.

MissTaken October 18, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Bottoms of bird cages weep.

no_gravity October 18, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Softly plays Taps.

Except, I'm not.

Crank_Tango October 18, 2012 at 1:29 pm

You spelled Tagg wrong.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 18, 2012 at 1:24 pm

What will people stare blankly at in waiting rooms now?

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 1:54 pm

The TV screen that's permanently tuned to the local FOX channel?

I swear to God, every fucking office, laundromat and diner in NYC has FOX5! on 24-7.

Why, dear God? Why????

PugglesRule October 18, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Because it's on every single basic cable package in the universe.

No snark, just ugly, ugly truth.

edgydrifter October 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Heck of a job, Brownie.

PugglesRule October 18, 2012 at 3:34 pm

My favorite all-purpose backhanded compliment :P

rickmaci October 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

RIP. Electronic edition will not cure the problem of lackluster journalism, badly written stories and generally irrelevant or dated content. IMHO.

SnarkOff October 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Nope. All of those problems are side-effects of advertiser-sponsored journalism and won't to go away until readers step up and pay for content. And we know they never will.

gullywompr October 18, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Present company excluded.

rickmaci October 18, 2012 at 2:51 pm

The problem isn't that consumers won't pay for content. I would pay, as would most people that use this site, I believe. The problem is the business model for delivering the content and the pricing. iTunes was set up to deliver on a per song basis because they figured out people didn't always want to buy the whole disk, generally they only wanted a few of the songs they liked. They also got the pricing right for their consumer. Seems there is more work to be done with the business of selling written content.

PugglesRule October 18, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Indeed. If I thought I was getting $30/yr of news from a web news organization like Newsweek, I might be willing to plunk that down. But given the plethora (verging on a googleplex) of news outlets online, I would have to be getting ALL my news from Newsweek (for instance) to justify paying for it. If that makes any sense.

La_Cieca October 18, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Nonsense! Everyone wants to read a constant and unremitting flow of stories about Princess Diana. I mean, if you accept it as a given that by "everyone" you mean "Tina Brown."

Radiotherapy October 18, 2012 at 1:25 pm

And it still is going to suck.

Callyson October 18, 2012 at 1:26 pm

We are transitioning Newsweek, not saying goodbye to it.

I'd settle if you'd say goodbye to Tina Brown…

Schmannnity October 18, 2012 at 1:26 pm

This is bad news for Look magazine. What?

Tequila Mockingbird October 18, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Next, I predict the automobile will put the horse and carriage industry out of business.

Crank_Tango October 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Just wait tho, the hipsters are switching from fixies to dliigences.

Estproph October 18, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Now how will they put those flyaway subscription cards that fall out every time you turn a page onto a Kindle?

DemmeFatale October 18, 2012 at 2:47 pm

My dog and his "bits" will be without a pastime (between naps).

Callyson October 18, 2012 at 1:28 pm

OTOH, this will make Crazy Eyes happy, so that's one reason to have a sad over this news…

Lucidamente1 October 18, 2012 at 1:28 pm

"Newsweek does not know extinction; all it knows is transformation. Everything science has taught me, and continues to teach me, strengthens my belief in the continuity of its spiritual existence after death."

kittensdontlie October 18, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I predict Ronny Reagan will be taking over as editor in the very near future.

ManchuCandidate October 18, 2012 at 1:29 pm

It's not as much the iPads but the constantly shitty content. There is a reason why my dad (a former subscriber) called it Newsweak.

I used to subscribe to magazines (I see you Economist and Time) but the simple/dumb analysis, editorial drivel and self congratulating bullshit (really? Is this how you treat me, Time's 2006 person of the year?) drove me to the intertubes. Here I can get my newz with porn and marry an Asian ads and I don't mind (sort of.)

Fare la Volpe October 18, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Aww man, you get the Asian ones? I just get the shitty Russian ones. I've seen Law & Order – those gals'll cut ya.

Crank_Tango October 18, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Can someone tell me what the conventional wisdom has to say about this?

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 1:55 pm
el_donaldo October 18, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I don't think my dad has ever recovered from U.S. News & World Report ceasing its print edition.

There's going to be a whole generation of olds sitting in their retirement home rocking chairs turning invisible pages out of habit.

GeorgiaBurning October 18, 2012 at 1:39 pm

They can subscribe to Reminisce, which just reprints old stuff under the headline "Remember When…"

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Except they're in nursing homes, so they probably don't

Fare la Volpe October 18, 2012 at 2:34 pm

That was a groaner. I approve.

PugglesRule October 18, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Wait, USNews isn't in print any more?

Apparently I didn't miss it at all!

el_donaldo October 18, 2012 at 4:20 pm

They stopped two years ago. In fact, I'm not sure if they're anything but a website that ranks colleges by now.

MissTaken October 18, 2012 at 1:30 pm

For the past 8 years, despite moving several times and never paying for a subscription, I've received print editions of Vogue every single month. Can't Vogue go digital so I can continue to completely ignore it without the added perk of dead trees?

GeorgiaBurning October 18, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Be careful, that "Penthouse Forum" every month helped track down Bin Laden.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Dear Pantshouze,

You weel never b'leef this, but one time in my cave…

JustPixelz October 18, 2012 at 3:23 pm

… Needless to say, none of them were virgins by morning.

prommie October 18, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Why won't Vanity Fair do this for me?

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 2:48 pm

It has been Jesus who has been paying for your Vogue subscription all along, even though you have turned your face from Him! Won't you please accept Him into your life now, along with this Chanel scratch-n-sniff perfume card?

Doktor Zoom October 18, 2012 at 2:56 pm

My precious, precious child, where you see only one set of footprints, that was when I was carrying your Vogue. And where the footprints are all jumbled up? The Hendersons' goddamn dog attacked Me.

MosesInvests October 18, 2012 at 4:38 pm

"But why was there only one set of footprints, Lord?" "My child, the Sandpeople ride single file to hide their numbers."

DemmeFatale October 18, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Did you tire of looking for actual articles among all the ads (with impossibly skinny waif-like "people")?

JustPixelz October 18, 2012 at 3:25 pm

But I must say, your avatar is nicely dressed. Well done Vogue.

eggsacklywright October 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

I came this close to canceling my subscription to the New Yorker because of Brown. One more article about Michael Eisner would've done it.

Lucidamente1 October 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

You know what Niall Ferguson will say about this?

deanbooth October 18, 2012 at 1:34 pm

What will God do for tabloid-level PR?

sbj1964 October 18, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Dr.we have a flat line.Ok people I'm calling it PRINT IS DEAD.Time of death the 21sy century.Toe tag it,and bag it.

gullywompr October 18, 2012 at 1:55 pm

And call Romney for the baptism.

Disassembly October 18, 2012 at 1:35 pm

I must remember to bring my iPad to the grocery store so I can continue to ignore Newsweek there.

Fred_Wertham_Jr October 18, 2012 at 1:36 pm

"I am become Tina Brown, Destroyer of Print."

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Aw, come on! Give Tina a break!

It came down to "yearly face lifts v. putting out a news magazine"!

PubOption October 18, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Look upon my non-magazine, oh ye mighty, and weep.

Ruhe October 18, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Can't Big Pharma keep the print edition alive just for distribution in Doctor's offices? I sort of felt that was what the thing was produced for anyway.

PugglesRule October 18, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Won't someone think of the people who don't have iPads???

neiltheblaze October 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Tina Brown is like the Josef Mengele of magazines.

MissTaken October 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

The exotic blend of Opium perfume, Sanka, and Reader's Digest always reminds me of my Grandma.

LibrarianX October 18, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Does heaven exist for irrelevant magazines?

gullywompr October 18, 2012 at 1:41 pm

This trend must stop! How am I going to get my picture on the cover of the Rolling Stone if there is no cover?

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 2:00 pm

You have a point

"I got my picture on the homepage of the Rolling Stone" just doesn't have the same rhythm.

MosesInvests October 18, 2012 at 4:40 pm

"Gonna forward five pageviews to my mother"…nah, doesn't work.

MissTaken October 18, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Everyone knows the only news fit to print these days are about Kanye fucking Kim and if the sparkly vampire is dumb to take back K-Stew.

SorosBot October 18, 2012 at 1:51 pm

We also need more pics of celebrities' babbies!

DCBloom October 18, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Don't forget Honey Boo Boo.
Better Redneckognize!

Antispandex October 18, 2012 at 2:29 pm

It's so nice to see that there are still people who know the really important topics of our day! I'm just sad, what with their show ending, my girls will not be able to keep me abreast of the latest trends in Italian-American New Jersey style and manners. Bummer.

johnnyzhivago October 18, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Now what will I be able to blow expiring airline points on at the end of the year.

Oblios_Cap October 18, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Soooo- now Newseek believes in evolution?

weejee October 18, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Another Cosmo conspiracy?

UnholyMoses October 18, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Your move, Time.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 18, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Great. Now where will I get my little postcards to renew my Newsweek subscription?

weejee October 18, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I get all my current events info from teh Wonkette, where all the newz that fits, they print post.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 18, 2012 at 1:52 pm

This trend is bad news for the cologne sample industry.

weejee October 18, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Mrs. weejee rejoices. She hates those stinky inserts.

arduinohacker October 18, 2012 at 1:58 pm

So are dentist's waiting rooms going to set out iPads? Oh wait, there are always 5-year old copies of the dentist's "Yachting" magazine.

widestanceromance October 18, 2012 at 2:04 pm

But, I've always enjoyed thumbing through The Plaque Observer while waiting.

prommie October 18, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Was him and Julio gay sexing down in the schoolyard, or just smoking the ganja? I never could figure that shit out, after all these years. Kodachrome, too, what was up with that? Dick-pics?

Jerri October 18, 2012 at 2:17 pm

But will Tina Brown and Steve Inskeep still talk on NPR and tell me what I need to read now and then? I'm afraid my rage levels will dip below sustainable levels if I don't get that periodic, massive infusion of smug, self-important pseudo-intellectual pomposity.

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Isn't Tina one of the hollow, stuffed men who regularly appear on Morning Joe?

Jerri October 18, 2012 at 3:04 pm

May as well be.

Negropolis October 19, 2012 at 1:35 am

Yeah, but she's so perky.

Chet Kincaid_ October 18, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Nice obit, Dok. I'm a teeny bit wistful, as I probably learned more from Newsweek in the '80s and '90s than from my education at Last Resort Community College and Mediocre State/Cornfields, and as I've said before, if you can't spare an hour a week for a mag like Newsweek, you have no fucking excuse for being ignorant. There was something to be said for having a few authoritative sources for information with the resources to check facts and get shit right, as opposed to every dipshit being vouched for by every other dipshit on the Internet 'cause pixels are "free".

not that Dewey October 18, 2012 at 2:19 pm

When he's at home and he blows his nose
He don't use tissues or his sleeve
He don't use napkins or any of these
He uses magazines

Mumbletypeg October 18, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Skoal Rebel approves this message.

He uses maaaaaa-gazines

Now With More Quid Marks.

Joey_Blau October 18, 2012 at 2:21 pm

THis has to be good news for John McCain!!

gurukalehuru October 18, 2012 at 2:23 pm

I thought they died years ago.

Antispandex October 18, 2012 at 2:25 pm

But….but….Who will make up for the trees that won't need to be needlessly wasted? Please tell me that they are still printing important stuff like People, Style, U.S. News and World Report, and Mad Magazine!

DahBoner October 18, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Every kid now knows Newsweek is just a broken iPad:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXV-yaFmQNk&f

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 18, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Here I was hoping it was the Muslim rage that did Newsweek in.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 3:15 pm

Put it this way.

You know the phrase "Keep Fuckin' That Chicken"? That was on FOX5! news. I think they have a Hispanic anchoress, and two black weathermen. I don't really watch them much so I'm not sure but I can tell you that the morning crew makes my skin crawl (Mike Kelly is police chief Ray Kelly's son, and an alleged sexual predator)

Nostrildamus October 18, 2012 at 3:22 pm

I guess that "Heaven in Real" cover story didn't quite do the trick.

BadKitty904 October 18, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Per Vanity Fair:

"Pairing stock images and incendiary statements at random and slapping them on the cover did not, in the end, turn out to be a business-saving publishing model."

HistoriCat October 18, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Regarding that picture – Comics Curmudgeon libel!

synykyl October 18, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Cool. Now I can not read it on my iPad instead of not reading it in print. That's much more convenient.

TribecaMike October 18, 2012 at 5:40 pm

The internets succeeded where Henry Luce failed. Good old internets!

GeneralLerong October 18, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Hey-y-y-y-y…will all those "People of the Book" soon be regarded as medieval dimwits?

Can we have bonfires?

ttommyunger October 18, 2012 at 11:32 pm

"FILTHY IPADS FINALLY MURDER NEWSWEEK PRINT EDITION"- Well, somebody had to put it out of its misery.

actor212 October 18, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Oh yah! I forgot about that…I read Newsweek on mine

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