party clown like in 'it'

Children’s Party Clown Bradlee Dean Thinks Rachel Maddow Is A Gross Ugly Lesbo

the once and future DeanSuper-groovy dude and Michele Bachmann BFF Bradlee Dean has some time on his hands since high schools throughout the Midwest stopped paying him to come and make their students cry about being baby-murdering, dirty-wedding-dress-wearing prostitutes. He also still has to pay Rachel Maddow a whole bunch of his greasy cash for having filed a meritless defamation suit against her after she “defamed” him by playing tape of his own words. So what’s he up to lately? Just taking it to today’s equivalent of the Fireside Chats, Facebook, and calling Maddow so gross and ugly, har har har. Which is weird, because look at the current Bradlee Dean?

Here is Bradlee Dean’s clever Facebook posting.

My, that is a bad pic of Rachel Maddow! She looks like a skinny Michael Moore! If people put up a picture like that of us, we would probably be sad! Luckily, Rachel Maddow has the total hots from gay women, straight women, gay men, and non-asshole straight men to keep her warm at night. Bradlee Dean, on the other hand, may well have the hots from a basement full of moldering missing-prostitute bones.

[CityPages]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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218 comments

  1. SayItWithWookies

    Well — that's a pretty searing indictment of Rachel Maddow's hotness, especially coming from a guy who looks like the sketchy girl's softball coach in an afterschool special.

          1. Generation[redacted]

            Wow. I tip my hat to you. All I remember from those after school specials was two kids smoking PCP and driving a car off a cliff going "Wheeeeee!"

  2. UnholyMoses

    "The woman on teh left is what God made"

    Seems as though God now makes blond hair dye.

    Also, too: If I were single and Rachael straight, I'd hit it. Repeatedly. And well. Because, for me, smart = HAWT!

      1. UnholyMoses

        Oh, don't get me wrong — I'd LOVE to have an in-depth policy discussion with her. For me, that'd like foreplay.

        And I'd be perfectly happy to stop right there.

      2. rebelyankee

        I'd prefer she mix me a drink. She's the reason I got into Sazeracs.
        The drink, not the weird sex act.

      1. Jus_Wonderin

        My problem was, I didn't think I was cute when I was cute. Now, I am not and I am painfully aware.

          1. gullywompr

            Just keep fisting them both, and stand in awe of their large p-ness, and I'm sure they will be appreciative.

          2. Lascauxcaveman

            I'm guessing both, but Wooks probably got there :30 before me.

            Oh, wait? I'm guessing you're referencing the "Help me, I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body" thing? That one I stole from a some stand-up comic back in the 80s, I think.

          3. Tundra Grifter

            I love those! I think it's "Road to Bali" where out of nowhere a guy walks behind Bob and Bing and fires a shotgun.

            Bob says "What was that?" Bing: "That's my brother-in-law. I promised him a shot in my next picture."

            Turned out Bing was so cheap he wouldn't pay him (it really was his brother-in-law) and Bob had to do it.

          4. Lot_49

            As somebody said, the progression is often thus:1. As the great poet John Donne said…2. As a great man once said…3. As I said…

  3. Lot_49

    Around here, of course, we'd never stoop to making fun of peoples' looks.

    Except when it's absolutely necessary.

    1. MegPasadena

      It seems to be some wingnut thing. All the vomit-inducing gas-bags love to criticize liberal ladies' looks.

      1. James Michael Curley

        Man, is Ted Turner doing that crazy let's colorize all the old black and white movies?

      2. Beowoof

        Lots of Sun and Lots of X-Rays can have deleterious effect on one's appearance. So can having a black soul.

  4. PsycWench

    If Rachel Maddow hadn't become liberal, she'd look just like that picture. Just as Ann Coulter looks like her high school graduation picture. And Kathryn Lopez.

  5. JustPixelz

    A little too much Coulter in the first picture. So, by definition, she looks better in second shot.

  6. hagajim

    Bradlee is just pissed because his first name isn't Ben – so he has to lash out at the best journalist currently available in the U.S. of A.

  7. actor212

    So based on Dean's pix, he was a fairly cute kid but conservatism has turned him into a bloated, Hulk Hogan mullet-wearing fat man with a pock-marked face?

    1. CindynEncinitas

      And a sissy party clown. The rodeo clowns should take him out back and beat him like a mime.

  8. Blueb4sinrise

    …and non-asshole straight men.

    Actually, not having an asshole is serious problem. Why do you hate the asshole deficient!!!

  9. Monsieur_Grumpe

    Mr. ponytail, tracksuit and baseball cap does not have any credibility in the “what looks good or bad” department.

      1. tessiee

        At least when my male relatives wear track suits, they have the fashion sense to accessorize with fourteen pounds of gold jewelry…
        On reflection, I'm not sure that helps, though.

    1. kittensdontlie

      Shawn Barnish said it best:
      The girl on the left, is what GOD MADE.
      The girl on the right is what happens when God "gives up" a god-hater.

      Why does Dean hate God so much?!!

    1. sewollef

      Depends on your god. I hear the Xtian god doesn't do sex. In fact he's a boring white dude in white pants and sweater, with a white wife in white pants and white shirt and two white rug-rats, both with blonde hair, white sneakers and perfect teeth.

      He lives in the suburbs, drives a Volvo, wears sweater vests [as you Americans call them] and coaches the juniors at soccer, even though he knows fuck-all about it. Apparently, he works "in the city", holds cocktail parties at the weekend, and his girl and boy are to his second – almost perfect- wife, who likes to help at the local church baking pies for the disadvantaged.

      His first wife died in mysterious circumstances that he doesn't talk about.

      But now the buddhist god…. yee-fucking-haa…. he just loves to party!!

        1. sewollef

          Sleeveless sweater or sleeveless jumper.

          A 'vest' in UK English is er, an undergarment worn by men underneath their shirt.

          I think for the US, what we Brits call a vest, you call a wife-beater [possibly?]

          1. HistoriCat

            A 'vest' in UK English is er, an undergarment worn by men underneath their shirtI'll be damned – all of my time watching BBC shows and I never learned this.

          2. DemmeFatale

            When we lived in London, I heard my daughter's English friend in the next room, loudly proclaiming: "He doesn't!! He doesn't!!"
            My girl had just told him that when her daddy came home from work, he would take off his pants.
            In England, Pants = underwear.
            In USA, Pants = trousers, (or in this case, suit pants)

            Just for fun, ask Sewollef about "fanny."

  10. elviouslyqueer

    To be fair, Bradlee Dean probably hasn't encountered a "beautiful babe" except on the numerous porn sites he visits regularly.

  11. PsycWench

    "The woman on the right is what happens when God gives up a God hater!"

    So, if you hate God you get smart, funny, a lot of admirers but sometimes you take a bad picture. Doesn't sound like a bad deal to me.

  12. FakaktaSouth

    God "gives up"?? Is he calling God a quitter? I fucking hate people that speak for God and I don't even think I'd have a shred of any faith (on days I try to) if it weren't for people like Rachel Maddow. Get a hair cut you old ass nasty Nuge wannabe, you look worse than one of Rachel's ill fitting blazers. I do hate those blazers. But god she is so fucking smart.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        Look at them chops, man. (and I bet it's worser when you know what his bald ass looks like without the baseball cap) Even Fat-Axl of the Bo Derek cornrows wouldn't do THAT shit.

        1. Chet Kincaid_

          Jesse from Eagles Of Death Metal got into a hilarious feud with Asshole a few years ago, and started calling him "Waxl" and "Paxl". I do love EODM, they are funny, though I am incredibly dissapointed that Jesse is a wing nut, or pretending to be. I also can't stand hearing that one kickass song of theirs on all the Miller Light commercials now.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      I fucking hate people that speak for God

      Well, what choice do they have? It's not like God is some big overexposed TV talkshow gabfest celeb who is constantly on ET and Leno and such, mouthing off about all his latest projects, opinions and impressions. He's more the strong, silent (non-existent) type.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        I know you're probably right, but I just keep holding out in the hopes of some Old Testament smiting. That would be so funny.

    2. prommie

      Hey there you are, the living refutation of the suggestion that liberal women ain't beautiful! Its like when Bill gates walks into a bar, the average income of the people in that bar goes up by a billion dollars, when you walk into a room full of liberals, the average beautifulness of the liberals goes up by an order of magnitude.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        You are so sweet to me, I do thank you. However, I find most liberals to be MUCH more attractive, something to do with the non-sloping nature of their foreheads and breathing with their mouths closed.

        1. prommie

          You hush, I was just paying homage to her supernatural beautifulness, not to take away from all you beautiful people.

    1. widestanceromance

      I think what he meant was that his chances of getting laid are better with a lesbian than a straight chick.

      1. actor212

        Close. I meant that since he can't tap any straight chicks, he's hoping for better luck elsewhere.

        He'll move onto little boys shortly, I'm sure.

  13. nicnack74

    Rachel Maddow and I are the same age, and went school accross the bay from each other. I'm mad that we never crossed paths. She's a bad ass. I would so be friends with her if only just to taste her cocktails.

    1. tessiee

      "I would so be friends with her if only just to taste her cocktails."

      I have never heard it called that before.

  14. rickmaci

    If Bradlee Dean today is what you look like after a crazed, fanatical obsession with Jeebuzz takes a hold on your life, well, I'm sticking with the atheists.

  15. JustPixelz

    "The woman on the left is what GOD MADE!"

    God also gave us free will to think for ourselves. NO! I'm just kidding.

    God put free will in the tree of knowledge and told us to MYOB or else He'd kill us. (Thanks for the safety tip oh loving one.) Eve got a second opinion. Then she decided knowledge is a wonderful thing and she'd rather be wise than immortal. Eve ate the fruit and in so doing she gave us the gift of free will.

    (Adam showed up later, saw the fruit had been eaten, knew it meant death for Eve. He ate the fruit because he didn't want to live without her. Adam gave us the gift of love.)

    1. CommieLibunatic

      I'm personally glad I gave up the caveman/hobo look, but it's a free country. Thin, fine hair just wasn't working at that length.

  16. el_donaldo

    According to Shawn Barnish, the Maddow on the left is the one God made – so apparently primping for a photo, makeup, hair dye and/or wigs, and contacts are holier than just showing up?

    RuPaul must be a fucking saint.

  17. Dumbedup

    What is this fat douchebags claim to fame, tell me, please. Was he the one with the exercise infomercials? A WWE wrestler? The Partridge Family, What?

  18. PhilippePetain

    Yes, we all understand the fairness of "Hey, lets compare a person's studio picture in the prime of their innocent hopeful good looking-ness of youth to being disheveled, outdoors thirty years later."

    1. Generation[redacted]

      It's Biff Tannen, casino mogul! Or is that the old Biff Tannen who didn't get the sports almanac?

      1. HistoriCat

        Hollywood really needs to lay off the sequels – the world does not need Back to the Future IV

    2. bureaucrap

      Love the term "hate rocker". Sort of like alt, indie, folk, but with hate instead of musicality, proficiency, interest, rhythm, or melody.

  19. Anne_Athema

    Ironic, considering the gut on the left looks like a chick circa 1994 who is struggling with trying to come out of the closet.
    Unsurprising, as the guy on the right looks like Larry the Cable Guy's little scro.

  20. Generation[redacted]

    She looks like a skinny Michael Moore!

    She's got the Moore grin, but I think she's totally rockin' the Woody Allen glasses.

  21. belmontreport

    The guy that commented on that post is right, God hates aging. Can you believe that she doesn't look exactly like she did 20 years ago? If only she had been a conservative, and then she wouldn't have had to age.

  22. tessiee

    I've never quite gotten disparaging a woman's looks as a way of invalidating her opinions, rather than just as a generic insult.

    "Rachel Maddow is ugly as sin, therefore I don't want to fuck her" at least makes some kind of sense. I don't say I like it, I don't say I agree, I don't think Brad-Leeee would have a snowball's chance in hell of fucking her even if she were straight… but I get it.

    "Rachel Maddow has some really interesting, insightful, and thought-provoking ideas about science/literature/politics/whatever, and I'm inclined to agree with many of them… Oh, no! She's ugly as sin! That cancels everything out!" THAT, I don't get.

  23. Mittens Howell, III

    God, founder and CEO of Clairol.

    Also, Rachel Maddow is hot, and smart, which is also hot, oh, and relevant (ie: hot.)

    Unlike our 3 time loser friend Bradlee (which was actually Mattel's backup name if 'Barbie' failed the focus group tests.)

  24. DahBoner

    OMG!!

    Someone doesn't look as hot as they did in high school???

    THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE IN ENTIRE HISTORY OF UNIVERSE!!!

    1. tessiee

      Correct.
      That is why no one, ever, cringes at the mention of the very words "High School Yearbook".

  25. CommieLibunatic

    Nevermind that anyone with enough volume of photos will inevitably get a bad picture every so often. Even if you're a golden-haired angel made entirely of cream with doves fluttering about whenever you enter a room, you'll still look silly if someone gets a high-res photo of you eating a sandwich.

  26. calliecallie

    And the war on women continues…

    This REALLY pisses me off. Her looks have nothing to do with ANYTHING. I don't remember ever hearing that anyone called Keith Olbermann "four eyes" or Chris Matthews "pumpkin head." (My mother does call him "The Interruptor" but that's not about his looks.)

    It is just NOT okay to denigrate a woman's opinions or her lifestyle by denigrating her looks. (And of course in this case he's wrong about that, also, too, but that's not the point.)

  27. oenspiek

    Total douchebag. Rachel Maddow looks just fine, but that has to be the least important thing about her.

  28. Fare la Volpe

    Sigh. Everyday my love of long-haired metalheads erodes a little bit more. Fuckers age like milk.

  29. Pap Finn

    Love the Chas Tenenbaum Track Suit Of Mourning.

    I wonder if he filed that doomed, frivolous, bullshit suit against the advice of his attorney. I mean, it never had a chance in hell. Dumbass.

  30. upthruster

    Maybe Dean's hair is like Samson's only in his case it holds all his weakness. Maybe if he just cut the hair he's been holding on to since 1988, he would be free from the weak mind and weak excuses he used for being an addict to pretty much everything under the sun and of course… under the Son.

  31. Gleem McShineys

    Good thing Bradlee Dean no longer is working in high schools, seeing how he finds them attractive at that age.

    Quit posting pictures of highschool girls on your facebook page, perv-o!

  32. doloras

    Rachel-on-left looks like a pretty young boy in very uncomfortable drag. Rachel-on-right looks like a human being. But you're right, it would be hot to see them bone.

  33. vtxmcrider

    Anyone named "Bradley" who spells it "Bradlee" probably also dots his i's with little circles or even little hearts.

  34. lulzmonger

    One of these people can make a killer cocktail in three minutes flat when she's not methodically handing right-wingers their ass on a stick (& plainly enjoying the hell out of it). The other can make a POOPY in his tracksuit on Facebook after losing a lawsuit against the person who's given him far more public exposure than he or his excruciatingly sucktastic "music" ever merited.

    bambi_vs_godzilla.gif

  35. ttommyunger

    Nothing like making fun of another's physical appearance in the name of and on behalf of God. Also, I happen to have the serious hots for Rachel and the Lesbo-Leaning Stepanie Miller, so there. I'm guessing Bradlee couldn't get laid on a troop train full of hookers if he had a duffel bag full of Hundreds.

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