Fox’s Megyn Kelly Has Questions About The Liberal Communist Maoist Questions Picked For The Debate

Thank God we have Megyn Kelly to explain why Romney shit the bed on so many of the questions in last night’s Happy Lovey Hoe-Down Sing-Along — it’s probably because of Candy Crowley, but it’s MOSTLY because of the American public with their stupid concerns. Why did they have such LIBERAL concerns? Real Americans care about the deficit, the fiscal cliff, taxes, bombing more Muslins, and the deficit, though not in that order. So the REAL question is, who picked these people and let them ask questions? Hmm? And why did they ask about stuff we already know from before? Megyn Kelly predicts that there will be questions about that, just questions, that’s all.

And the pandering, my God, the pandering, what with telling women they should get paid for their work. Megyn’s not saying that there was something suspicious about the people selected for the debate, she’s just saying that there will be “questions” about it, that’s all. You know, “questions” like they might have had in, say, a show trial during the Cultural Revolution.

What we are saying is Megyn Kelly loves Mao.


About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

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  1. snowpointsecret

    Liberal questions with phrases such as "I am disappointed in the last four years." Did she just out Rick Santorum as a secret liberal?

    1. actor212

      I'm thinking the last person Megyn Kelly wants to pick a fight with is Candy Crowley.

      Not only can she kick her ass, she's not going to be worried about mussing her hair or makeup.

      Megyn is toast.

    1. DerrickWildcat

      She used to have long flowing whore hair until she had a baby. Since then, she's doing the shoulder length hair to show she is a respectable Mom and not some slutty Fox call girl.
      True story. Do a GIS.

  2. ibwilliamsi

    Here's my question for Megan Kelly:

    Did you ask your plastic surgeon to give you a "Joan Rivers-esque" look, and do you intend to keep it as you age further?

    1. Mumbletypeg

      It reminds me why I so often notice Obama prefacing with "…Let me be clear." Because so often with the ignoranti it needs to be explained patiently, as to a six-year-old.
      To be fair Newt used this phrase just about as often but he always sounded more defensive, as perhaps comes with a lifetime of pedantic exculpating of his extra-curricular's.

  3. coolhandnuke

    Our undecided questioners are so much better than their undecided questioners.
    –Megyn Coulter

  4. Jus_Wonderin

    Megyn honey. Do this for me, will you? Go to Kroger and buy a Zuccini Squash. Then, drive over to Sonic and buy a Chili-Cheese Coney. Then, hang a right at the Chase Bank and go to the tool department at Home Depot. Pick out a flathead screwdriver. Any of them will do. Yes, pink is fine. Your choice. Buy it.

    Now go out in the parking lot. Put the Squash in a shopping cart and roll it toward the largest SUV in the sight. Give the Coney to that day laborer over there hanging out by the tree.

    Now here is the important part. Stick the business end of the screwdriver up your fucking twat and whistle.

      1. Jus_Wonderin

        Thanks. I, like any great author, let the characters tell me their story. I didn't know how it was going to end either. Some characters and stories just write themselves.

  5. Callyson

    "In fact, there were a lot of women's issues discussed"

    All of which made Mittens' backwardness crystal clear, beeyatch…

    1. Native_of_SL_UT

      Discussing Women's issues? That's like totally out of the blue. This is the first of heard of any women issues.

    2. Angry_Marmot

      Leviticus 15,19- 30: That which issues from women shall require them to go sit under a binder, yea verily, also.

  6. EnnuiThereYet?

    Mr. Romney, America's women want to know, do you prefer your sandwiches with or without crust? And as a follow-up question, cut into triangles or rectangles?

  7. iburl

    Why did they let the lady with the hispanic accent talk? Obviously it was a trap because Mitt has never directly addressed such a person except to scream "You scraped my car elevator De Loretta!! You are Fired-o!!

  8. SayItWithWookies

    "Some might argue it was obvious pandering to women because the female vote is so important in this election."

    Yeah, why can't 50% of this country just shut up and do what Mitt tells them to do?

    1. Native_of_SL_UT

      Uh, Megyn, I hate to break this to you, but unless a politician is soliciting for sex, the only other thing they do when their mouths are open is pander to someone or another.

  9. Biel_ze_Bubba

    "Where are your tax returns?" would be a liberal question.

    "What the fuck, exactly, do you plan to do if elected?" is a fair one, IMO.

  10. Callyson

    "some of which was obvious pandering to women, because the women's vote is so important in this election"

    Yeah, because discussing issues that are important to just over 50% of the population and that were neglected in the previous debate (which was supposed to be about domestic policy) and pandering are completely the same thing.


    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      What about the pandering to the just under 50% of the population (oh, say, about 47%) who are irresponsible moochers?

    2. HateMachine

      I'd really, really like for the Romney campaign to join Megyn on this one and piss and moan about all the vag questions. After all, if women asking questions about lady-specific concerns is evidence of bias, that's as good as admitting that your platform has nothing to offer over half the voting populace (for starters, anyway).

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      The HVAC left his at my house the other day. Want to borrow it? Oh, I see, not the right kind of drill, is it?

  11. SmutBoffin

    If Important News Reporter Lady Kelly belonged to a network that did actual reporting rather than just repeating headlines and making up innuendo and letting big-headed people yell at each other, she might even get answers to those questions!

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      If Kelly belonged to a network that did actual reporting, she might also be asking better questions, too.

    1. Chet Kincaid_

      Who would believe you were a beauty indeed
      When the days get shorter and the nights get long?
      Lie awake when the rain comes —
      Nobody will know, when you're old!
      When you're old, nobody will know
      That you was a beauty, a sweet sweet beauty,
      A sweet sweet booty, but stone stone cold!

    1. Lot_49

      The combatants negotiate the format, moderators, etc, we're told. Romney's coat-holders probably asked for Steve Douche-y or Hannity or somebody like that, and the Obamaistas responded, "Sure, if we can have Rachel."

  12. Esteev

    So Megyn would rather the candidates stand there for 90 minutes and who ever doesn't speak wins? I guess Mitt technically did win in that format.

  13. Rotundo_

    It must suck to know that you were selected to get nasty mean old men aroused rather than your analytic or journalistic abilities. To be one of Ailes blondies has to be humiliating. I hope they make at least half what they pay Hannity or O'Reilly or Douchey or any of the male gasbags at Faux.

  14. mavenmaven

    When Fox News says "there will be questions", that means they know they lost and are working on the conspiracy theory to explain it away.

  15. coolhandnuke

    ….and the site of tonight's debate Jimmy Hoffsta University, more liberal bias. He was in a union I believe….

  16. elviouslyqueer

    From the ABC transcript:

    CROWLEY: The Gallup organization chose 82 uncommitted voters from the New York area. Their questions will drive the night. My goal is to give the conversation direction and to ensure questions get answered. The questions are known to me and my team only. Neither the commission, nor the candidates have seen them. I hope to get to as many questions as possible.

    Yes, Megyn, I can certainly see the bias inherent in 82 uncommitted voters who submit questions that are not pre-screened by either candidate. It's called a fucking free exchange a.k.a. "dialogue", you Botoxed screechy cuntbag.

    1. Lot_49

      Crowley did get to pick the questions, though. She probably rejected the one that read "Why don't you go back to Kenya?" because Mitt wouldn't really have been able to answer it.

  17. OneYieldRegular

    Oh, so Mitt's piss-poor performance is due to the quality of the questions he got? I hope Ahmadinejad, Putin, Hu, etc. will be much more respectful in how they ask their questions, so as not to ruffle poor Mitt's feathers.

  18. GeorgiaBurning

    Cut her a little slack, besides the actual debate on tape she's sharing the split screen with a chipmunk impersonator

      1. OneYieldRegular

        Seriously, the Romney campaign can't tell the difference between a study and a blog post? Next thing you know they'll be citing the Red State comments section as "empirical evidence."

        1. malsperanza

          It's the concept of "double-blind peer review" that confuses them. They know it's something bad and liberal (because data have a liberal bias), but they're not sure if it's an aid program for visually impaired Rockettes or that thing Jerry Sandusky was caught doing.

  19. poorgradstudent

    Yeah, why would Americans be more concerned about employment and student loans than about the deficit? It doesn't make any sense!

    1. HateMachine

      Unfortunately, it's not because the interest on Treasury bonds is lower than the rate of inflation. I know this because when I try to explain this to real merkins and/or undecideds, their eyes glaze over and wisps of smoke begin to come out of their ears.

  20. fuflans

    i have been horrifically busy (at my hourly temp job which is what you get with 2 degrees from the university of chicago these days) but i am thoroughly enjoying wonkette's day of romney rumble rage.

    it almost makes up for the last 10 sucky days.

    1. tessiee

      "my hourly temp job which is what you get with 2 degrees from the university of chicago these days"

      THAT's where I've been going wrong!
      My temp agency hasn't had much for me lately, and I'll just bet it's because I went to Ed & Larry University.
      If only I'd gone to a name school, I, too, could be doing the same kind of clerical shitwork I was doing 20 years ago, for less money than I was making then.

      1. fuflans

        yes. not to be patronizing, but a degree from a highly credited institution with many noble laureates really does pay for itself in temp agency circles. everyone should carefully consider that when choosing an institution of higher learning.

        (in truth i'm temping at mr fuflans law firm as i lost my (middle class professional service sector) job with exactly no notice and a good-bye check for exactly $200. you know those wacky job creators!! always looking for ways to make your life less boring!!

        but i have NEVER been able to interest a temp agency. i'm (also) an actor and would LOVE to be able to just temp and act. but nothing. i think the degree doesn't help…)

  21. GregComlish

    Seriously, where were the questions about the Republicans strong suit: men. We need more big manly questions. Questions about war, steely ripped muscles, and large hard uncut shafts dripping with erotic anticipation.

  22. Chichikovovich

    I have to agree with Megyn: if they hadn't asked the question about Libya that the Republicans have been openly salivating about attacking Obama on, then Romney wouldn't have had a chance to reveal that his carefully prepared and practiced talking point was a talking caterwauling point from the Fox News echo chamber that could be easily disproved by a five second glance at a publicly available transcript.

    1. fuflans

      i'm still dreading the next debate. mitt muffed the chance to really attack last night (went into that stupid wingtard list of ALL the things wrong in the middle east which is mostly inaccurate / not bamz fault and thereby undercut his own argument). BUT it's a nasty topic. i hope they have some good responses on hand.

      1. Negropolis

        Let's be clear, so long as this thing is still under investigation, while an attack killing an ambassador is never, ever a good thing for a president during a campaign, Mitt will look even worse if he keeps trying to push the issue and politicize it.

        I say that the issue is a wash in the very best scenario for Romney, and if he even slightly missteps, well, it looks like what you saw last night where he was given the most hellish rebuke we've seen in a debate in a very long time.

        You need to stop dreading. Let's measure our gut with our head instead of instant dispair.

    2. tessiee

      yes, President Obama is a big ol' meanie who should have known better than to ask Mittens questions that he's stupid about answering and/or too lazy to properly research. He should have asked him about gas being $4 a gallon instead, because I don't think Mitt got enough chances to mention that.

      1. Cleopatriot

        I was just thinking that too. Only instead of foreign, I thought 'semi-literate.'

        Want to bet it's really Megan, like a normal person?

  23. carlgt1

    how about that obvious teabagger plant at the debate with his misleading Libya question – and before he asked the question he had to plug the lame business he probably "built himself" (Minneola Paper Supply – sounds like a branch of Dunder-Mifflin from "The Office").

    1. cousinitt

      Yes, well, there was that global economic meltdown and all. I'd give the edge to Boosh as the biggest job destroyer in history. Romney is still a wanna-be.

  24. Jus_Wonderin

    The right won't be happy until we just flat out through up are hands and say "Here Govenor Romney, take the position. You deserved it all along. We are sorry."

    WTFnF! Wah. Wah. Wah. The fuck didn't get the result(s) he wanted/needed in any category and its the liberals fault. Talk about an entitled fuckwad bitch, Mitt is………….

  25. Fairtackle

    Asking questions of interest to at least half the voters is a blatant pander. Answering any question of any interest to any voter is obviously pandering and a clear sign of weakness of character. this is what made GW Bush one of the best presidents of all time. You will get no answers and you will like it.

  26. T3rbo

    Ha, Fox News doesn't even know what to say! When Yahoo news runs stories entitled "How Obama Won the Debate," you are plain screwed

  27. JustPixelz

    As Aaron Sorkin put it in The American President, "people who say they love America but clearly can't stand Americans".

  28. DerrickWildcat

    Megyn?, is probably one of the most fascinating names. Did you know that? Well it's true! It's a fact that's probably in the Encyclopedia Brittany. Did you know that there are infinite ways to spell, Megun or Britney? When Women's College Basketball starts, look at the rosters. You'll see what I mean. Every team has at least one or two Britanys or Meaghans. The possibilities boggle the mind.

  29. bikerlaureate

    How can amoral TV personalities do so much damage to the country while on fake "news" sets?
    There will be questions about it.

  30. calliecallie

    Equal pay for equal work, abortion, contraception, assault weapons…no one cares about that shit.

    1. tessiee

      No one WE would care to know, anyway, Darling.
      Our sort of people care about where to go this time in Yurp, the best ways to hide one's money, and how to instruct the servants so that they do a decent job for once.

  31. VeraSevera

    I'm sorry Megyn, you're no longer in my Big Binder of Women. Whereas, Candy, my darling, is definitely in my Binder of Big Women–and, no, Bill Clinton–you can't have it, get your own…

  32. weejee

    Kris you have both "Megyn Kelly" and "ho-down" in your lede sentence. Should we infer she works, or worked, with Jimmie da Pimp O'Keefe in past under-the-covers undercover operations?

  33. Preacher_Griz

    What in the world was that romney fellow thinking when he ok'd the use of a liberal lesbian wench as debate moderator???!!! Is your mormon cultist unaware of the lesboharlot's Evil Duplicity???

  34. Gleem McShineys

    Isn't that odd, that when Obama did a shit job in the first debate, some people say he did a shit job. (Some people = everyone)

    When Mitt did a shit job in the second debate, some people say "there are questions about the questions." (Some people = one host at the propaganda network)

  35. ttommyunger

    So many questions, and there will be questions about those questions, so many questions and questions about the questions will be asked by questioners about the questions. Fucking Brilliant Commentary!

  36. Blueb4sinrise

    Meg just wanted more questions from real Americans like Koch Industries and Bank of America.

  37. sullivanst

    Excuse me, blonde Fox bobblehead with about as much brains as the pieces of plastic they give away at ballparks, but asking how Mitt would pay for his multi-trillion dollar tax cuts and military spending increases is showing concern about the deficit.

  38. Native_of_SL_UT

    Since the Democrats have spent the last decade or so trying to get everybody to forget they ever mentioned gun control, how exactly did it help Obama to bring up that subject?

    1. sullivanst

      Because Mitt Romney made such a horrible mess of his answer? This is surprising for a Republican, but less so for Mitt Romney, given how gun control is one of those issues where by the time he's finished answering a question he'll have a different position than when he started.

    2. Blueb4sinrise

      Ya know, the CNN crawl at the time seemed to show positive response by the 'Indys.' to Barack in his answer . So, uhhhhhh, I guess there will be questions..

      Or maybe I was just blurry.

    3. Negropolis

      It's funny though because Mitt botched the answer so badly that it actually did end up being a win for the president. lol

  39. LibrarianX

    Of course Megyn Kelly blames the questions, because – you know, the questions come pre-screened in the Oval Office, too. This is HARD.

  40. LibrarianX

    I had no idea that the GOP were such delicate lotus blossoms. What a bunch of god damned babies.

    1. BadKitty904

      Only when it's to their advantage to be such.

      Generally, they're greedy, callous, arrogant, selfish, self-centered swine. But you prolly already knew that…

  41. VinnyThePooh

    With that Gish Gallop Inhibitor installed, the ol' Mittbot kept stuttering through it's start-up routine. That's the real Willard, MeGYN.

  42. BarackMyWorld

    NBC's newscast coverage of the debate tonight was basically a repetition of saying "Look how childish and rude they both were."

    So, in summary: Obama plays nice, gets called a loser for two weeks and watches his poll numbers plummet. Obama puts up a fight, gets called childish and rude.

    1. fuflans

      right? the media narrative – and i especially think the center and soft left leaning media – has been distinctly harsh on obama. has been from the very beginning of his presidency. from the bbc to npr they have routinely subjected him to standards and scrutiny they never did to bush. and over on the center right, the economist has been gunning for him since they endorsed him in '08.

      if we were having an honest dialogue about these two candidates, romney's campaign would have been on life support after My European Summer Vacation;and completely dead after the 47% tape.

  43. GeorgiaBurning

    Thanks for reminding us, Megyn. If your bosses are not controlling the questions, they can't always control the answers.

  44. Negropolis

    Can I just say that I'm tired of hearing conservatives (and really everybody, but especially conservatives) decrying talking about "womens' issues"? Last I checked, making sure a woman gets paid equal pay for equal work is good for the entire economy. Last I checked, providing women with contraception almost always means lower future poverty rates because they won't be having children that the fathers never even considered raising and the mothers can't support. "Womens' issues" my ass.

  45. tessiee

    Why did they have such LIBERAL concerns? Real Americans care about getting their dancing horse in and out of the car elevator.

  46. tessiee

    Eric Cartman [pretending to be interviewer]: Eric, why are you so awesome?
    Eric Cartman [as himself]: I don't know; I just am.

  47. Schmegeg

    I agree with her. Questions like "How are you different from George Bush?" are so difficult for Mittens, especially since he has treated the name "George Bush" like it was Voldemort for the entire campaign.

  48. dopper0189

    Who let her out of the binder anyways? Next time use a 6 ring binder not a 3 ring binder, for extra security!

  49. editor

    why, yes, megyn, there may well be some questions about those questions.

    clearly, anything pertaining to women's rights is off the table, since, you know, who cares? you're a quite annoying presidential candidate if you dare bring up something like "contraception" or "abortion".

    (please note i do not think contraception and abortion are of questionable realism. i know they're real. the quotation marks are only there to signify some people's reluctance to accept their reality.)

  50. insidebeltway

    Let's not forget that the lighting was also biased against Romney. It made him look so, well, white. And the sound, too. We could hear his answers that made him sound like a liar.

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