Patrick Bateman
Hey ladies and bros, have you met Josh Romney? Would you like to see some more of him?

[Buzzfeed gif via Jezebel]

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  • BadKitty904

    No. No, I would not. Ever.

    • Callyson

      My hooha died after I got a look at him. No masturbation break for me today!

      • BadKitty904

        "There! EVIL, PURE AND SIMPLE, by way of the 8th Dimension!"

    • Typodong3

      OMG make it stop MAKE IT STOP *hides under bed, fetal position, sucking thumb*…

  • OzoneTom

    Matt's following in Mitt's shoes.

  • MissTaken

    Hey SorosBot, tomorrow when I say I had one of my freaky nighttime hallucinations again, know that *this* is what it will look like.

    • SorosBot

      And this one is scarier than those creepy-crawly little demons from Buffy that got you before. Don't worry though, I'll fight the mean scarey Romney boy off!

  • Schmannnity

    Vulcans. Every family has one.

  • sullivanst

    Reminds me of Matt Bellamy, only without any obvious talent.

    ETA: Now I will put on The 2nd Law again.

  • edgydrifter

    Never go full Damien. Never!

    • Esteev

      He is Linux-based! I knew it.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Daddy issues you can see from orbit?

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Though, probably a heart or soul you couldn't see with the Hubble.

      • glasspusher

        James Webb LIBEL!

    • Isyaignert

      Just wait until his dad gets his @ss handed to him at the next debate and on election day. Josh is going to asplode.

  • Just hand over my trust fund and nobody gets hurt.

  • ph7

    I, for one, welcome our new Trust Fund overlord.

  • One_who_wanders

    I don't always glower but when I do I glower like a psycho. He's the whitest man in America.

    • I dunno, I look at that GIF a few times and I'm thinking he's thinking "They told me there'd be no math in this one!"

      • Esteev

        Or: "I wonder how much oxygen stays in a locked trunk…"

  • Antispandex

    Well, he's……an interesting looking fellow. Why does he have the mads?

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      A black man has dared to talk back to his father! The horror!

      • docterry6973

        Absolutely. How dast this fellow speak that way to his betters?

        The look of a trust fund punk who's been reminded that the people he looks down upon think he and his father are jackasses.

  • Josh will be the one to crack. Which will be unexpected because he's the one with a normal name.

    • James Michael Curley

      Josh is a normal name? That's a joke.

  • RedneckMuslin

    The chip doesn't fall far from the circuit board.

    • Mittaplasia

      Post of the day…(bows, ala apologetic Muslin overlord): We're not worthy!

      • glasspusher

        I'll second that. Awesome.

    • Pat_Pending

      He shoots and he scores!

    • Negropolis

      And Boom! goes the dynamite.

  • Terry

    Good thing his daddy is rich. That's all I'm saying.

  • Needs moar red eye

  • UnholyMoses

    Dude looks quite rapey. Legitimately so.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Dude is scary, but I think that ugly ass jacket Ann the human sofa barf is wearing next to him is scarier.

    • PubOption

      I thought that she was wearing a curtain.

    • If you look quickly, you can see the look on her face. Obviously, he's angry that they made Mother angry.

      Mother? Uh, what is the phrase….Mother is…she's not quite herself today…

    • Whollyholeyholy

      My favorite part of the debate was Ann's tense jaw when it was over. Spoke volumes.

    • And Candy Crowley had her beat in the hair department. A certain stylist has by now been flogged for desultory tousling!

  • HRH_Maddie

    You just know he's got bodies in the crawl space.

    • Gleem McShineys

      Not true! Absolute lie!

      The hydrochloric acid dissolved everything.

      • YOU LYE!

        • BoatOfVelociraptors


          • Well, it is almost Christmas.

    • FNMA

      And paintings of clowns all over his bedroom room walls.

    • JaceWyatt

      And women in binders.

    • finite_monkeys

      And crawlies in his body space.

  • Lucidamente1

    Makes Ben Quayle look like the boy you'd bring home to mother.

  • When he starts talking about the genius of 80s Phil Collins and "No Jacket Required" or plays "It's Hip to Be Square"–I swear that's the Mormoni Anthem– then it might be a good idea to run like fuck.

    • DCBloom

      I can't even begin to imagine what music a guy like that would like…. Hootie & The Blowfish? Spin Doctors?

      • sbj1964

        The screams of children?

      • shelwood46

        That seems a little hip and modern. He did cry when Andy Williams died, is all I'm saying.

      • schvitzatura

        "Two Princes"? It ranked #41 on "VH1's 100 Greatest Songs of the 90s".

        Note the subtle political subtext that consummate lyricists Barron, Schenkman, White, and Comess weave:

        This one he got a princely racket
        That's what I said now
        Got some Big Seal upon his jacket
        Ain't in his head now

        "Two Princes" is the bespoke (or is it off-the-rack) campaign song for all third party candidates in American politics since Perot/Choate in 1996!

        Party on, Wonksters! PARTY. ON.

        BTW, has anyone seen my axe and raincoat…

  • This may reduce how often Wonketteers will be taking showers. At least for a while.

    • VodkaGoGo

      I plan on upping the frequency of my showers after seeing this.

  • And thus we see how Anakin Skywalker became Darth Taxevader

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Oh. Oh my.

  • BadKitty904

    Hmm. I see Cyberdyne has released the new T-1000 models for Christmas…

  • RedneckMuslin

    He's got that Jeffrey Dahmer look.

    Now we know who really put the dog on the roof.

  • ProgressiveInga

    I would not hit it.

    • With a Mack Truck (of votes)?

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      No, but I would recommend killing it with fire (of votes).

    • LetUsBray

      I would try to ward it off with garlic and a crucifix.

    • MosesInvests

      Nuke it (with votes) from orbit-it's the only way to be sure.

    • Negropolis

      That's good, because it would definitely hit back. Legitimately.

  • Mittaplasia

    I see the Ministry of Torture is alive and well and busily finding the things that our nightmares are made of.

    A cornea is a terrible thing to waste.

  • For over a hundred years, the Mormons have closely controlled their breeding until, finally, the Kwisatz Haderach has been achieved.

    • SmutBoffin

      I must not fear.
      Fear is the mind-killer.
      Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
      I will face my fear.
      I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
      And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
      Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
      Only I will remain.

      • elviouslyqueer
      • Boojum

        I must not lose my temper.
        Temper-temper-temper is the bum-killer.
        Temper is the little mistake which leads to you lying
        On the ground wondering
        Oi! What’s with all this spreading pool of blood, then?
        I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
        And when it has gone past the other bugger
        Will be the one bleeding.
        Only I will remain, wiping off me knife.

      • schvitzatura

        Make mine a spice and sapho juice on the rocks, with a water of life chaser, barkeep!

    • GorzoTheMighty

      He would fail the Gom Jabbar

    • More like the Kumquat Haagendasz

      • Or, as I said many years ago, the Ersatz Razzmattazz!

    • EnnuiThereYet?

      This explains everything — Ann is a Bene Gesserit witch who refused her orders to bear a female.

      • emmelemm

        Well, she's a witch, anyway.

      • This explains everything — Ann is a Bene Gesserit witch who refused her orders to bear a female.


    • PugglesRule

      Eyes wrong color. Obviously not enough SPICE.

      • He's Mormon. It's forbidden. He has to snort sand.

    • vulpes82


    • doloras

      He will prove his power by making it rain in the middle of Utah!

    • MosesInvests

      Is his skin his own?

  • LibertyLover

    Well. That was quite disturbing.

  • EnnuiThereYet?

    I could see myself voting for Trang Romney if he can answer a couple of questions:

    What font does he have on his business cards? And can he get a reservation at Dorsia?

    • He can't even get one at Legal Seafood…

  • Schmannnity

    Now we know why Mitt doesn't like assault weapons.

    • Generation[redacted]

      It's okay, he has two parents so there's no way he could turn psycho.

  • Which one did Ann have with Rafalca?

    • Objection! Rafalca is a lady horse, and that is therefore frowned upon in Mormonism.

      OT: Did you know that Rafalca has her own wikipedia page? Suck it, actual humans whose pages have been deleted due to not meeting notability standards!

      • Oh now come on! Could you place 64th in an Olympic event???

    • Barrelhse

      And which with Seamus, and with her Chauffeur?

    • UnholyMoses


  • EatsBabyDingos

    I know what I am going to be for Halloween.

  • cousinitt

    In this case the poop doesn't fall far from the dog (with apologies to Seamus).

  • Chichikovovich

    Why do his ears look pointy? Is he the White Goblin?

  • rickmaci

    Another big loss on the Presidential stage will only leave another generation of male Romoney spawn to struggle desperately to reach the exhalted place intended for them by Elohim.

  • OkieDokieDog

    I prefer the Osmonds over these Rmoney spawns.

  • decentcitizen

    This is the product of Mitt and Ann's love, attention and affection.

  • BadKitty904

    "Mother! Oh, God, mother! Blood! Blood!"

    ~ J. Rmoney

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    I see Halloween has come early this year.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    And he's the nice one.

    • I thought he was the funny one and Tagg was the Ringo of the Romboto brothers.

    • vulpes82

      I thought that was the youngest one, the one who's still single and probably Teh Ghay.

    • emmelemm

      Well, he's not the sane one, that's for sure.

  • Pragmatist2

    It's like the shower scene in Psycho.

  • rambone

    Rumor has it that Bale prepared for the Bateman role by studying up on interviews by Tom Cruise.

  • elviouslyqueer


    Wait. I lie. But that would have to be one hell of a hatefuck.

    • vulpes82

      Yeah, I'm ashamed, but I'm kinda curious whether he'd be even more psycho-robotic in bed or if it'd be all kinds of freak-nasty.

      • elviouslyqueer

        I'm betting on freak nasty, personally, either bondage or some fairly rough play. But you just know he'd start crying immediately after he climaxed.

        • Jus_Wonderin

          "GIVE IT TO ME NOW. PUT IT IN ME. NOW!!"

          • glasspusher


        • vulpes82

          Total pass-around fisting party bottom.

        • Pat_Pending

          He's a FIP. (Face In Pillow)

    • HistoriCat

      I feel the same way about Megyn Kelly.

      The shame.

  • VodkaGoGo

    I bet he reads Cosmo and cuts out the models eyes so they'll 'stop looking at him' and then puts the pictures on his wall. I bet he also collects panties and human hair.

    • He has a Joy Book?

      Also, Carol Book, Helen Book and Charlotte Book?

      • Boojum

        Yes, made from their skin.

    • Barrelhse

      Really? Cuz I don't think of him as being normal at all.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Oh look. That kid from The Omen is all grown up.

  • The Manchurian Hannidate

  • SmutBoffin

    He and that Santorum kid must have mind-melded.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Dexter? Is that you?

  • Toomush_Infer

    Well, to be fair – I imagine it's hard to watch Daddy get raped on national tv, and just sit there….

  • sbj1964

    He just looks like another soulless Mormon.The spawn of Damien?

  • PubOption

    I'm trying to imagine Josh as a Mormon missionary. Would that stare force people to convert, or would he find himself staring at a rapidly-closing door?

    • ph7

      He fixed the flats on his bicycle with that stare.

    • miss_grundy

      Probably someone would hit him with a wine bottle…without votes.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Meet your new Secretary of Defense, everyone!

    • asterixaverni

      Exactly! We won't need Star Wars missle defences, he'll just glare'em down!

      ye gawds that guy is seriously creepy. Makes Rumsfeld look like Mr. Rodgers.

  • ChrisM2011

    "Are you Sarah Conner?"

  • LibertyLover

    Remember how Myth Rmoney said that he liked having Egg in the audience to see how he was doing during his debates?

    And how Egg nudged one of the progeny during the first debate because Obama didn't show up and like Myth wiped the floor with Obama's empty chair?

    And how, like, last night, it was, like, The Return of the Jedi only without the Ewoks? And there probably was no nudging of Josh or one of the other entitled ones by Egg?

    Yeah, Good times.

  • Ha, when I saw this pic last night my first thought was "That really is a beautiful business card." Great minds, etc.

    • emmelemm

      That is like my favorite scene, ever. Also, I worked for a while (as a secretary) for Lehman Brothers in the 90s. Every word is true.

      • You were a secretary? At Lehman? That gives me ideas.

        • emmelemm

          You're in luck – tonight is Naughty Secretary Night!

          [PS They (the young ones) were really JUST LIKE THAT.]

          • glasspusher

            Uh…excuse me foraminit….

  • JadedPreppy

    Wow, he makes me nostalgic for Uday and Qusay.

    • Esteev

      At least they had passion.

    • Weren't they just shot shots in the dark?

    • Saddam McDuck's evil nephews? Carl Barks kind of jumped the shark with that one.

    • Negropolis

      Also, the Bush Twins. Too.

  • Detesticle

    It is not now, nor has it ever been, hip to be square.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Is that photo from last night's debate? Why did Mrs. Romney change her outfit?

    Did she peak backstage, see what Ms. Obama was wearing, then dash to a semi parked outside and select the same dress?

    • shelwood46

      That is a jacket. An ugly, ugly jacket.

  • magic_titty

    Is he The Master?

    • HistoriCat

      Hmmm – put a beard on him and …HOLY SHIT!

  • Perhaps it is best that none of the Romney's have had military training.

  • An_Outhouse

    Welsh Witch-bot, Josh-bot, Mitt-bot , they all seem to be the same basic model just dressed differently. The addition of panty lines was a nice humanizing addition.

    • vulpes82

      Those were solder lines, actually.

  • dekkoparsnip2

    What the hell kind of a weird-ass name for a Republican offspring is "Josh?"

    • glasspusher

      Ask my sister- if it's in teh bible, it's good enough fer her sons names.

    • PubOption

      Short for Josh Stuck-up.

  • johnnymeatworth

    Wasn't he Multiple Miggs in Silence of the Lambs?

    • BadKitty904

      "Not any more."

  • Fox n Fiends

    c'mon baby, don't fear the reaper

  • owhatever

    Remember when W was hachetman for the first President Bush? We may be looking at the second President Romney. Need any more reasons to vote for Michelle Obama's husband?

  • Hammiepants

    Ugh. This Guy. This is That Dude that hits on your roommate when you leave the room, thinks Dave Matthews "rocks", drinks all your liquor and barfs in your hamper.

  • Egg's face is even scarier.

    • zwoits

      He looks like mommie…The bald dude in front looks like her too

  • chitrade

    Holy crap, it's the Kwisatz Haderach!

  • Franknflower

    I bet his has some women in binders too.

    • Mittaplasia

      Little pieces of them lovingly pasted into binder-style photo albums. He positively reeked of Febreeze.

  • GregComlish

    That's just the way he looks whenever he gets a boner

    • Gleem McShineys

      Mother! Blood! (went to my penis)

  • I've seen that clip from "American Psycho" so many times, always wondering who it was that Christian Bale was impersonating in that scene. I finally figured it out. He's impersonating Data from Star Trek – The Next Generation. Why the fuck is he impersonating Data from Star Trek – The Next Generation? That doesn't make any sense. That doesn't make any fucking sense at all.

  • Esteev

    That's just Sleep Mode. Today, even most smartphones have it. Get real, libs!

  • delaney_blom

    The poor guy's probably been holding in a piss throughout this whole debate

  • Jus_Wonderin

    He looks like that Dramatic Chipmunk. Only with a touch of "I will eat the skin of your palms".

  • He is clearly both of his parents' child, no doubt about that, at least.

  • UnholyMoses

    Why is Ann Romney wearing my grandmother's bedspread?

    • JadedPreppy

      At first, she followed the pink and green rules of The Preppy Handbook and then she looked like collateral damage in Barney's suicide bombing.

  • BornInATrailer

    The chants I hear in Latin, are they just in my head?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr


    • Blueb4sinrise


  • LibrarianX

    Isn't that a Cyberdyne Systems Series 1000 Terminator?!?

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I bet you 10,000 bucks there is ATleast one loose floorboard in that boy's room.

    • PugglesRule

      With a big hole about 6 feet deep right under it.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Josh is thinking: "I'm still here bitches. And I know everytihg."

  • MozakiBlocks

    And I'm hearing this in my head right now.

    "It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it's told….It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."

  • glamourdammerung

    "Do you like Huey Lewis and The News?"

  • Which Batman movie is that clip from again?

  • Barrelhse

    Striking resemblance to his mother.

    • Dumbedup

      the two of them! It's like they are deciding whether to throw a servant down the well or something. The mask slips….

  • Nostrildamus

    Romney's brood is like "The Five Chinese Brothers", except with fucktards.

  • smashedinhat

    My dog just tore the carpet apart. And he only saw my screen for less than 5 seconds, I swear!

    • BadKitty904

      Be happy he didn't explode.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Exploded dog is hell to get off the walls. Believe me.

    • He remembered Josh from the litter, because his mother was a — AAUAAUAGGUHH!!!

  • Poindexter718

    I bet there are more than a few missing hitchhikers in that fekker's binder.

  • LibrarianX

    The Mormons are funding genetic engineering?

  • LibrarianX

    I bet he likes to be spanked.

  • It just occurred to him he likes cock.

    • vtxmcrider

      And it happens to be Anne's.

  • pdiddycornchips

    Caption contest:

    "When I'm through, no one will remember those Menendez brothers"

    • James Michael Curley

      Thankx, now my bowels are liquid.

    • Negropolis

      Comment of the Day

  • Radiotherapy

    Must. Have. My. $80 Million.

    • BadKitty904

      "Catch me when you can, Mishter Lusk"

  • Nesnora


  • MinAgain

    I smell preppy serial killer!

  • OneYieldRegular

    What is it with this Republican ticket and its extended family? First we get "The Munsters," and now we're down in the crypt at Collinwood.

    • 415buzzard

      I was sort of creeped out by Ryan's wife following him around during that soup kitchen fiasco. She looks like she has Stockholm Syndrome.

      • BadKitty904


  • I'm guessing he just lost a bet with G. Gordon Liddy and now he has to cook and eat one of his hands.

  • Crank_Tango

    Christ, you guys, they just caught him at a bad moment, when he realized he forgot to get more roofies.

  • rickmaci

    The Egg is strong in that one.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    I never want to know what's in that guy's freezer. Never.

  • IonaTrailer

    This guy could totally play Patrick Bateman.

    Wait, maybe this guy totally IS Patrick Bateman.

  • Biff

    Can't remember who posted the link to the stills last night, bit frightened me, so I went to bed and curled up in a fetal position.

  • Jerri

    Man, does that guy have Egg on his face or what?

  • NW_Pinko

    Yikes! I bet he owns a windowless rape van.

    • He owns a windowless rape van elevator.

    • Negropolis

      Is there any other kind?

  • DahBoner

    Josh Romney


    Translation in Mexican Mormon: Motherfucker.

  • Living in Joy

    Answering your question, um, no.

  • azeyote

    he looks like the guy everyone wants to know about the next day after the massacre from the night before. he seemed a little wierd they will say and slowly nod to each other.

  • rocktonsam

    heard nightly at the Romney dinner table.."is there something wrong Josh?"

  • UW8316154

    Makes Cheney look kind.

  • calliecallie

    Did Skynet send him?

  • BoroPrimorac

    Dude looks a bit rapey.

  • JackObin

    What do you expect from humanoids who don't drink? Sanity? Humanity? These people are quite dangerous.

  • Benny

    That dude is definitely looking at me……

    I swear ima beat the shit out of him if he doesn't stop staring at me.

  • Baba_NinjaCat12

    Now I know why the proto-Romulans left Vulcan.

  • Powerpuff_Grl

    He has Ann's eyes, even though he resembles his father in his other features.

    The 1st time that I saw her, I noticed the shape of her eyes and brows – she's got this evil, Cruella de Vil thing going on, especially if she is not smiling.

  • owhatever

    I am asking my insurance company to cover the wooden stake, pint of holy water and the bulbs of garlic that I will need if Damien's daddy is elected.

    • bikerlaureate

      Thankfully there will always be Wonkette to repost this picture again and again when Josh runs for public office.

  • ttommyunger

    I'm sure that look does wonders among his close circle of yes-men and ass-kissers. Try it in the real world and he'll find himself in a beat-down just for drill.

  • TootsStansbury

    Fucking Hell that's scary. Mittens is the well adjusted member of the family? Tha Fuuuuck??

  • spareme

    Ann sure did raise him right! Good boy! His mama probably told him a million times to make sure he wears a condom anytime you axe murder someone! Ozzie and Harriet did it right by Gawd!

  • miss_grundy

    He looks like something from the Walking Dead or an alien. Perhaps he could do us the favor of self-deporting and taking daddy with him.

  • ChicagoLory

    Seriously? I count on Wonkette to give me the news I need inbetween my 10 nytimes articles a month, and you give me a scene from American Psycho?

  • miss_grundy

    Is that look supposed to terrify Bammerz, because Barry should just like up a cigarette and blow smoke into his face, then toss some beer or alcohol at him, then light a match.

  • hellbabe


  • PurgedVoter

    I was wondering what happened to Bat Boy. Now I know.

  • He just threatened to deck the president.

  • mudsharc

    Nah, He's the clone next in line to be an organ donor when Mitt blows an O-ring .

  • Negropolis

    I think I saw this guy on Dexter.

    They need to check the backyards of all the Romney homes, and dig up the space under the car elevator in La Jolla. Fucker could cut a diamond with his face. He looks like a lesser Bond villian.

    One of those eyes is not like the other…honestly, he looks like what happens when you try to copy a copy of a copy. Eventually, it degrades.

  • Calapine

    I am not condoning murder, but I think Patrick Bateman did have the right ideas about dealing with bankers.

  • editor

    so scared. mormon will eat me.

  • Will_Panic

    That's the funniest goddamn gif I've ever seen.

  • LibrarianX

    Next rule of Fight Club: your magic underwear won't protect you here.

  • ph7

    This sums it up nicely.

  • LibrarianX

    Dahmer used to dismember animals – I wonder what's in Josh's shed?

  • smellypossum

    Lil' Joshie was just concerned that Barry was spoiling his plans for a kill room (complete with 10 hp macerator pump floor drain) in the basement of the white house.

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