Hey ladies and bros, have you met Josh Romney? Would you like to see some more of him?
Hola wonkerados.
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{ 259 comments }
No. No, I would not. Ever.
My hooha died after I got a look at him. No masturbation break for me today!
"There! EVIL, PURE AND SIMPLE, by way of the 8th Dimension!"
OMG make it stop MAKE IT STOP *hides under bed, fetal position, sucking thumb*…
Matt's following in Mitt's shoes.
Hey SorosBot, tomorrow when I say I had one of my freaky nighttime hallucinations again, know that *this* is what it will look like.
And this one is scarier than those creepy-crawly little demons from Buffy that got you before. Don't worry though, I'll fight the mean scarey Romney boy off!
Vulcans. Every family has one.
I think this one is more Romulan.
Related to, but not the same thing as Vulcans. From the same genetic stock IIRC, but whereas Vulcans have a sort of pitying, disdainful stare, the Romulans do it more like malevolence.
Separated at birth?
Oh, gosh, if there's anything I want to contemplate less than the terrifying glare of the Mittspawn, it's that horrific "Nemesis" train wreck. What a crappy note for the Next Gen crew to go out on.
Romneyulans?
Is he a "high-functioning" Vulcan?
Reminds me of Matt Bellamy, only without any obvious talent.
ETA: Now I will put on The 2nd Law again.
Muse libel!
You gotta admit, he does look muhmuhmuhmuh mad, in bad ways.
Hmm, just do not make me think "plug in baby" in any context involving Mrs. Rombot.
ETA: also too, tell me there's no resemblance.
Never go full Damien. Never!
He is Linux-based! I knew it.
Daddy issues you can see from orbit?
Though, probably a heart or soul you couldn't see with the Hubble.
James Webb LIBEL!
Just wait until his dad gets his @ss handed to him at the next debate and on election day. Josh is going to asplode.
Just hand over my trust fund and nobody gets hurt.
I, for one, welcome our new Trust Fund overlord.
I don't always glower but when I do I glower like a psycho. He's the whitest man in America.
I dunno, I look at that GIF a few times and I'm thinking he's thinking "They told me there'd be no math in this one!"
Or: "I wonder how much oxygen stays in a locked trunk…"
Well, he's……an interesting looking fellow. Why does he have the mads?
A black man has dared to talk back to his father! The horror!
Absolutely. How dast this fellow speak that way to his betters?
The look of a trust fund punk who's been reminded that the people he looks down upon think he and his father are jackasses.
Josh will be the one to crack. Which will be unexpected because he's the one with a normal name.
Josh is a normal name? That's a joke.
The chip doesn't fall far from the circuit board.
Post of the day…(bows, ala apologetic Muslin overlord): We're not worthy!
I'll second that. Awesome.
He shoots and he scores!
And Boom! goes the dynamite.
Good thing his daddy is rich. That's all I'm saying.
Needs moar red eye
Dude looks quite rapey. Legitimately so.
Dude is scary, but I think that ugly ass jacket Ann the human sofa barf is wearing next to him is scarier.
I thought that she was wearing a curtain.
A *shower* curtain…
"I saw it in a window and couldn't resist!"
I think that was the last time I pissed my pants laughing
If you look quickly, you can see the look on her face. Obviously, he's angry that they made Mother angry.
Mother? Uh, what is the phrase….Mother is…she's not quite herself today…
My favorite part of the debate was Ann's tense jaw when it was over. Spoke volumes.
And Candy Crowley had her beat in the hair department. A certain stylist has by now been flogged for desultory tousling!
You just know he's got bodies in the crawl space.
Not true! Absolute lie!
The hydrochloric acid dissolved everything.
YOU LYE!
Uff-da!
Well, it is almost Christmas.
And paintings of clowns all over his bedroom room walls.
And women in binders.
And crawlies in his body space.
Makes Ben Quayle look like the boy you'd bring home to mother.
http://wonkette.com/428188/here-are-some-frames-f…
Read my lips: No More Undertaker Candidates!!
When he starts talking about the genius of 80s Phil Collins and "No Jacket Required" or plays "It's Hip to Be Square"–I swear that's the Mormoni Anthem– then it might be a good idea to run like fuck.
I can't even begin to imagine what music a guy like that would like…. Hootie & The Blowfish? Spin Doctors?
The screams of children?
That seems a little hip and modern. He did cry when Andy Williams died, is all I'm saying.
"Two Princes"? It ranked #41 on "VH1's 100 Greatest Songs of the 90s".
Note the subtle political subtext that consummate lyricists Barron, Schenkman, White, and Comess weave:
This one he got a princely racket
That's what I said now
Got some Big Seal upon his jacket
Ain't in his head now
"Two Princes" is the bespoke (or is it off-the-rack) campaign song for all third party candidates in American politics since Perot/Choate in 1996!
Party on, Wonksters! PARTY. ON.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embed…
BTW, has anyone seen my axe and raincoat…
This may reduce how often Wonketteers will be taking showers. At least for a while.
I plan on upping the frequency of my showers after seeing this.
And thus we see how Anakin Skywalker became Darth Taxevader
Oh. Oh my.
Hmm. I see Cyberdyne has released the new T-1000 models for Christmas…
He's got that Jeffrey Dahmer look.
Now we know who really put the dog on the roof.
I would not hit it.
With a Mack Truck (of votes)?
No, but I would recommend killing it with fire (of votes).
I would try to ward it off with garlic and a crucifix.
Nuke it (with votes) from orbit-it's the only way to be sure.
That's good, because it would definitely hit back. Legitimately.
I see the Ministry of Torture is alive and well and busily finding the things that our nightmares are made of.
A cornea is a terrible thing to waste.
For over a hundred years, the Mormons have closely controlled their breeding until, finally, the Kwisatz Haderach has been achieved.
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
EON LIBEL.
TOTO LIBEL!
I must not lose my temper.
Temper-temper-temper is the bum-killer.
Temper is the little mistake which leads to you lying
On the ground wondering
Oi! What’s with all this spreading pool of blood, then?
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past the other bugger
Will be the one bleeding.
Only I will remain, wiping off me knife.
Make mine a spice and sapho juice on the rocks, with a water of life chaser, barkeep!
He would fail the Gom Jabbar
More like the Kumquat Haagendasz
Or, as I said many years ago, the Ersatz Razzmattazz!
This explains everything — Ann is a Bene Gesserit witch who refused her orders to bear a female.
Well, she's a witch, anyway.
This explains everything — Ann is a Bene Gesserit witch who refused her orders to be
ara female.FTFY
Eyes wrong color. Obviously not enough SPICE.
He's Mormon. It's forbidden. He has to snort sand.
NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDS!
He will prove his power by making it rain in the middle of Utah!
Is his skin his own?
Well. That was quite disturbing.
I could see myself voting for Trang Romney if he can answer a couple of questions:
What font does he have on his business cards? And can he get a reservation at Dorsia?
He can't even get one at Legal Seafood…
Now we know why Mitt doesn't like assault weapons.
It's okay, he has two parents so there's no way he could turn psycho.
Which one did Ann have with Rafalca?
Objection! Rafalca is a lady horse, and that is therefore frowned upon in Mormonism.
OT: Did you know that Rafalca has her own wikipedia page? Suck it, actual humans whose pages have been deleted due to not meeting notability standards!
Oh now come on! Could you place 64th in an Olympic event???
And which with Seamus, and with her Chauffeur? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiRoNuw5x4M&fe…
AOTK?
I know what I am going to be for Halloween.
In this case the poop doesn't fall far from the dog (with apologies to Seamus). http://talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/2012/10/my_…
Why do his ears look pointy? Is he the White Goblin?
Another big loss on the Presidential stage will only leave another generation of male Romoney spawn to struggle desperately to reach the exhalted place intended for them by Elohim.
I prefer the Osmonds over these Rmoney spawns.
This is the product of Mitt and Ann's love, attention and affection.
"Mother! Oh, God, mother! Blood! Blood!"
~ J. Rmoney
I see Halloween has come early this year.
And he's the nice one.
I thought he was the funny one and Tagg was the Ringo of the Romboto brothers.
I thought that was the youngest one, the one who's still single and probably Teh Ghay.
Well, he's not the sane one, that's for sure.
It's like the shower scene in Psycho.
RED RUM
Just Red. No rum, he's a Mormoni.
Rumor has it that Bale prepared for the Bateman role by studying up on interviews by Tom Cruise.
DO NOT WANT.
Wait. I lie. But that would have to be one hell of a hatefuck.
Yeah, I'm ashamed, but I'm kinda curious whether he'd be even more psycho-robotic in bed or if it'd be all kinds of freak-nasty.
I'm betting on freak nasty, personally, either bondage or some fairly rough play. But you just know he'd start crying immediately after he climaxed.
"GIVE IT TO ME NOW. PUT IT IN ME. NOW!!"
Replicant?
Total pass-around fisting party bottom.
He's a FIP. (Face In Pillow)
I feel the same way about Megyn Kelly.
The shame.
I bet he reads Cosmo and cuts out the models eyes so they'll 'stop looking at him' and then puts the pictures on his wall. I bet he also collects panties and human hair.
He has a Joy Book?
Also, Carol Book, Helen Book and Charlotte Book?
Yes, made from their skin.
Really? Cuz I don't think of him as being normal at all.
Oh look. That kid from The Omen is all grown up.
The Manchurian Hannidate
He and that Santorum kid must have mind-melded.
Dexter? Is that you?
Well, to be fair – I imagine it's hard to watch Daddy get raped on national tv, and just sit there….
He just looks like another soulless Mormon.The spawn of Damien?
I'm trying to imagine Josh as a Mormon missionary. Would that stare force people to convert, or would he find himself staring at a rapidly-closing door?
He fixed the flats on his bicycle with that stare.
Probably someone would hit him with a wine bottle…without votes.
Meet your new Secretary of Defense, everyone!
Exactly! We won't need Star Wars missle defences, he'll just glare'em down!
ye gawds that guy is seriously creepy. Makes Rumsfeld look like Mr. Rodgers.
"Are you Sarah Conner?"
Remember how Myth Rmoney said that he liked having Egg in the audience to see how he was doing during his debates?
And how Egg nudged one of the progeny during the first debate because Obama didn't show up and like Myth wiped the floor with Obama's empty chair?
And how, like, last night, it was, like, The Return of the Jedi only without the Ewoks? And there probably was no nudging of Josh or one of the other entitled ones by Egg?
Yeah, Good times.
Ha, when I saw this pic last night my first thought was "That really is a beautiful business card." Great minds, etc.
That is like my favorite scene, ever. Also, I worked for a while (as a secretary) for Lehman Brothers in the 90s. Every word is true.
You were a secretary? At Lehman? That gives me ideas.
You're in luck – tonight is Naughty Secretary Night!
[PS They (the young ones) were really JUST LIKE THAT.]
Uh…excuse me foraminit….
Wow, he makes me nostalgic for Uday and Qusay.
At least they had passion.
Weren't they just
shotshots in the dark?Saddam McDuck's evil nephews? Carl Barks kind of jumped the shark with that one.
Also, the Bush Twins. Too.
It is not now, nor has it ever been, hip to be square.
Is that photo from last night's debate? Why did Mrs. Romney change her outfit?
Did she peak backstage, see what Ms. Obama was wearing, then dash to a semi parked outside and select the same dress?
That is a jacket. An ugly, ugly jacket.
Is he The Master?
Hmmm – put a beard on him and …HOLY SHIT!
Perhaps it is best that none of the Romney's have had military training.
Welsh Witch-bot, Josh-bot, Mitt-bot , they all seem to be the same basic model just dressed differently. The addition of panty lines was a nice humanizing addition.
Those were solder lines, actually.
What the hell kind of a weird-ass name for a Republican offspring is "Josh?"
Ask my sister- if it's in teh bible, it's good enough fer her sons names.
Short for Josh Stuck-up.
Wasn't he Multiple Miggs in Silence of the Lambs?
"Not any more."
c'mon baby, don't fear the reaper
Remember when W was hachetman for the first President Bush? We may be looking at the second President Romney. Need any more reasons to vote for Michelle Obama's husband?
Ugh. This Guy. This is That Dude that hits on your roommate when you leave the room, thinks Dave Matthews "rocks", drinks all your liquor and barfs in your hamper.
Egg's face is even scarier.
He looks like mommie…The bald dude in front looks like her too
Holy crap, it's the Kwisatz Haderach!
I bet his has some women in binders too.
Little pieces of them lovingly pasted into binder-style photo albums. He positively reeked of Febreeze.
That's just the way he looks whenever he gets a boner
Mother! Blood! (went to my penis)
I've seen that clip from "American Psycho" so many times, always wondering who it was that Christian Bale was impersonating in that scene. I finally figured it out. He's impersonating Data from Star Trek – The Next Generation. Why the fuck is he impersonating Data from Star Trek – The Next Generation? That doesn't make any sense. That doesn't make any fucking sense at all.
That's just Sleep Mode. Today, even most smartphones have it. Get real, libs!
The poor guy's probably been holding in a piss throughout this whole debate
He looks like that Dramatic Chipmunk. Only with a touch of "I will eat the skin of your palms".
He is clearly both of his parents' child, no doubt about that, at least.
Why is Ann Romney wearing my grandmother's bedspread?
At first, she followed the pink and green rules of The Preppy Handbook and then she looked like collateral damage in Barney's suicide bombing.
The chants I hear in Latin, are they just in my head?
O Fortuna!!
Vide Cor Meum?!?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Isn't that a Cyberdyne Systems Series 1000 Terminator?!?
I bet you 10,000 bucks there is ATleast one loose floorboard in that boy's room.
With a big hole about 6 feet deep right under it.
Josh is thinking: "I'm still here bitches. And I know everytihg."
And I'm hearing this in my head right now.
"It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it's told….It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."
"Do you like Huey Lewis and The News?"
Which Batman movie is that clip from again?
Striking resemblance to his mother.
the two of them! It's like they are deciding whether to throw a servant down the well or something. The mask slips….
Romney's brood is like "The Five Chinese Brothers", except with fucktards.
My dog just tore the carpet apart. And he only saw my screen for less than 5 seconds, I swear!
Be happy he didn't explode.
Exploded dog is hell to get off the walls. Believe me.
He remembered Josh from the litter, because his mother was a — AAUAAUAGGUHH!!!
I bet there are more than a few missing hitchhikers in that fekker's binder.
The Mormons are funding genetic engineering?
I bet he likes to be spanked.
It just occurred to him he likes cock.
And it happens to be Anne's.
Caption contest:
"When I'm through, no one will remember those Menendez brothers"
Thankx, now my bowels are liquid.
Comment of the Day
Must. Have. My. $80 Million.
"Catch me when you can, Mishter Lusk"
THANK YOU SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER
I smell preppy serial killer!
What is it with this Republican ticket and its extended family? First we get "The Munsters," and now we're down in the crypt at Collinwood.
I was sort of creeped out by Ryan's wife following him around during that soup kitchen fiasco. She looks like she has Stockholm Syndrome.
"like"?
I'm guessing he just lost a bet with G. Gordon Liddy and now he has to cook and eat one of his hands.
Christ, you guys, they just caught him at a bad moment, when he realized he forgot to get more roofies.
The Egg is strong in that one.
I never want to know what's in that guy's freezer. Never.
This guy could totally play Patrick Bateman.
Wait, maybe this guy totally IS Patrick Bateman.
Can't remember who posted the link to the stills last night, bit frightened me, so I went to bed and curled up in a fetal position.
Man, does that guy have Egg on his face or what?
Yikes! I bet he owns a windowless rape van.
He owns a windowless rape van elevator.
Is there any other kind?
Josh Romney
SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT…TWO BITS.
Translation in Mexican Mormon: Motherfucker.
Answering your question, um, no.
he looks like the guy everyone wants to know about the next day after the massacre from the night before. he seemed a little wierd they will say and slowly nod to each other.
heard nightly at the Romney dinner table.."is there something wrong Josh?"
Makes Cheney look kind.
Did Skynet send him?
Dude looks a bit rapey.
What do you expect from humanoids who don't drink? Sanity? Humanity? These people are quite dangerous.
That dude is definitely looking at me……
I swear ima beat the shit out of him if he doesn't stop staring at me.
Now I know why the proto-Romulans left Vulcan.
He has Ann's eyes, even though he resembles his father in his other features.
The 1st time that I saw her, I noticed the shape of her eyes and brows – she's got this evil, Cruella de Vil thing going on, especially if she is not smiling.
I am asking my insurance company to cover the wooden stake, pint of holy water and the bulbs of garlic that I will need if Damien's daddy is elected.
Thankfully there will always be Wonkette to repost this picture again and again when Josh runs for public office.
I'm sure that look does wonders among his close circle of yes-men and ass-kissers. Try it in the real world and he'll find himself in a beat-down just for drill.
Fucking Hell that's scary. Mittens is the well adjusted member of the family? Tha Fuuuuck??
Ann sure did raise him right! Good boy! His mama probably told him a million times to make sure he wears a condom anytime you axe murder someone! Ozzie and Harriet did it right by Gawd!
He looks like something from the Walking Dead or an alien. Perhaps he could do us the favor of self-deporting and taking daddy with him.
Seriously? I count on Wonkette to give me the news I need inbetween my 10 nytimes articles a month, and you give me a scene from American Psycho?
Is that look supposed to terrify Bammerz, because Barry should just like up a cigarette and blow smoke into his face, then toss some beer or alcohol at him, then light a match.
Spooooooky!
I was wondering what happened to Bat Boy. Now I know.
He just threatened to deck the president.
http://thinkprogress.org/election/2012/10/17/1038…
Nah, He's the clone next in line to be an organ donor when Mitt blows an O-ring .
I think I saw this guy on Dexter.
They need to check the backyards of all the Romney homes, and dig up the space under the car elevator in La Jolla. Fucker could cut a diamond with his face. He looks like a lesser Bond villian.
One of those eyes is not like the other…honestly, he looks like what happens when you try to copy a copy of a copy. Eventually, it degrades.
I am not condoning murder, but I think Patrick Bateman did have the right ideas about dealing with bankers.
so scared. mormon will eat me.
That's the funniest goddamn gif I've ever seen.
Next rule of Fight Club: your magic underwear won't protect you here.
This sums it up nicely.
Dahmer used to dismember animals – I wonder what's in Josh's shed?
Lil' Joshie was just concerned that Barry was spoiling his plans for a kill room (complete with 10 hp macerator pump floor drain) in the basement of the white house.
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