About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

259 comments

  1. MissTaken

    Hey SorosBot, tomorrow when I say I had one of my freaky nighttime hallucinations again, know that *this* is what it will look like.

    1. SorosBot

      And this one is scarier than those creepy-crawly little demons from Buffy that got you before. Don't worry though, I'll fight the mean scarey Romney boy off!

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      I think this one is more Romulan.

      Related to, but not the same thing as Vulcans. From the same genetic stock IIRC, but whereas Vulcans have a sort of pitying, disdainful stare, the Romulans do it more like malevolence.

        1. LetUsBray

          Oh, gosh, if there's anything I want to contemplate less than the terrifying glare of the Mittspawn, it's that horrific "Nemesis" train wreck. What a crappy note for the Next Gen crew to go out on.

  2. sullivanst

    Reminds me of Matt Bellamy, only without any obvious talent.

    ETA: Now I will put on The 2nd Law again.

    1. Isyaignert

      Just wait until his dad gets his @ss handed to him at the next debate and on election day. Josh is going to asplode.

  3. One_who_wanders

    I don't always glower but when I do I glower like a psycho. He's the whitest man in America.

      1. docterry6973

        Absolutely. How dast this fellow speak that way to his betters?

        The look of a trust fund punk who's been reminded that the people he looks down upon think he and his father are jackasses.

  4. FakaktaSouth

    Dude is scary, but I think that ugly ass jacket Ann the human sofa barf is wearing next to him is scarier.

    1. actor212

      If you look quickly, you can see the look on her face. Obviously, he's angry that they made Mother angry.

      Mother? Uh, what is the phrase….Mother is…she's not quite herself today…

  5. ManchuCandidate

    When he starts talking about the genius of 80s Phil Collins and "No Jacket Required" or plays "It's Hip to Be Square"–I swear that's the Mormoni Anthem– then it might be a good idea to run like fuck.

    1. DCBloom

      I can't even begin to imagine what music a guy like that would like…. Hootie & The Blowfish? Spin Doctors?

      1. schvitzatura

        "Two Princes"? It ranked #41 on "VH1's 100 Greatest Songs of the 90s".

        Note the subtle political subtext that consummate lyricists Barron, Schenkman, White, and Comess weave:

        This one he got a princely racket
        That's what I said now
        Got some Big Seal upon his jacket
        Ain't in his head now

        "Two Princes" is the bespoke (or is it off-the-rack) campaign song for all third party candidates in American politics since Perot/Choate in 1996!

        Party on, Wonksters! PARTY. ON.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embed

        BTW, has anyone seen my axe and raincoat…

  6. Mittaplasia

    I see the Ministry of Torture is alive and well and busily finding the things that our nightmares are made of.

    A cornea is a terrible thing to waste.

    1. SmutBoffin

      I must not fear.
      Fear is the mind-killer.
      Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
      I will face my fear.
      I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
      And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
      Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
      Only I will remain.

      1. Boojum

        I must not lose my temper.
        Temper-temper-temper is the bum-killer.
        Temper is the little mistake which leads to you lying
        On the ground wondering
        Oi! What’s with all this spreading pool of blood, then?
        I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
        And when it has gone past the other bugger
        Will be the one bleeding.
        Only I will remain, wiping off me knife.

    2. EnnuiThereYet?

      This explains everything — Ann is a Bene Gesserit witch who refused her orders to bear a female.

  7. EnnuiThereYet?

    I could see myself voting for Trang Romney if he can answer a couple of questions:

    What font does he have on his business cards? And can he get a reservation at Dorsia?

    1. Incitefully_Joe

      Objection! Rafalca is a lady horse, and that is therefore frowned upon in Mormonism.

      OT: Did you know that Rafalca has her own wikipedia page? Suck it, actual humans whose pages have been deleted due to not meeting notability standards!

  8. rickmaci

    Another big loss on the Presidential stage will only leave another generation of male Romoney spawn to struggle desperately to reach the exhalted place intended for them by Elohim.

    1. vulpes82

      Yeah, I'm ashamed, but I'm kinda curious whether he'd be even more psycho-robotic in bed or if it'd be all kinds of freak-nasty.

      1. elviouslyqueer

        I'm betting on freak nasty, personally, either bondage or some fairly rough play. But you just know he'd start crying immediately after he climaxed.

  9. VodkaGoGo

    I bet he reads Cosmo and cuts out the models eyes so they'll 'stop looking at him' and then puts the pictures on his wall. I bet he also collects panties and human hair.

  10. Toomush_Infer

    Well, to be fair – I imagine it's hard to watch Daddy get raped on national tv, and just sit there….

  11. PubOption

    I'm trying to imagine Josh as a Mormon missionary. Would that stare force people to convert, or would he find himself staring at a rapidly-closing door?

    1. asterixaverni

      Exactly! We won't need Star Wars missle defences, he'll just glare'em down!

      ye gawds that guy is seriously creepy. Makes Rumsfeld look like Mr. Rodgers.

  12. LibertyLover

    Remember how Myth Rmoney said that he liked having Egg in the audience to see how he was doing during his debates?

    And how Egg nudged one of the progeny during the first debate because Obama didn't show up and like Myth wiped the floor with Obama's empty chair?

    And how, like, last night, it was, like, The Return of the Jedi only without the Ewoks? And there probably was no nudging of Josh or one of the other entitled ones by Egg?

    Yeah, Good times.

    1. emmelemm

      That is like my favorite scene, ever. Also, I worked for a while (as a secretary) for Lehman Brothers in the 90s. Every word is true.

        1. emmelemm

          You're in luck – tonight is Naughty Secretary Night!

          [PS They (the young ones) were really JUST LIKE THAT.]

  13. Tundra Grifter

    Is that photo from last night's debate? Why did Mrs. Romney change her outfit?

    Did she peak backstage, see what Ms. Obama was wearing, then dash to a semi parked outside and select the same dress?

  14. An_Outhouse

    Welsh Witch-bot, Josh-bot, Mitt-bot , they all seem to be the same basic model just dressed differently. The addition of panty lines was a nice humanizing addition.

  15. owhatever

    Remember when W was hachetman for the first President Bush? We may be looking at the second President Romney. Need any more reasons to vote for Michelle Obama's husband?

  16. Hammiepants

    Ugh. This Guy. This is That Dude that hits on your roommate when you leave the room, thinks Dave Matthews "rocks", drinks all your liquor and barfs in your hamper.

    1. Mittaplasia

      Little pieces of them lovingly pasted into binder-style photo albums. He positively reeked of Febreeze.

  17. MaxUdargo

    I've seen that clip from "American Psycho" so many times, always wondering who it was that Christian Bale was impersonating in that scene. I finally figured it out. He's impersonating Data from Star Trek – The Next Generation. Why the fuck is he impersonating Data from Star Trek – The Next Generation? That doesn't make any sense. That doesn't make any fucking sense at all.

  18. Jus_Wonderin

    He looks like that Dramatic Chipmunk. Only with a touch of "I will eat the skin of your palms".

    1. JadedPreppy

      At first, she followed the pink and green rules of The Preppy Handbook and then she looked like collateral damage in Barney's suicide bombing.

  19. MozakiBlocks

    And I'm hearing this in my head right now.

    "It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it's told….It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."

    1. Dumbedup

      the two of them! It's like they are deciding whether to throw a servant down the well or something. The mask slips….

  20. smashedinhat

    My dog just tore the carpet apart. And he only saw my screen for less than 5 seconds, I swear!

  21. OneYieldRegular

    What is it with this Republican ticket and its extended family? First we get "The Munsters," and now we're down in the crypt at Collinwood.

    1. 415buzzard

      I was sort of creeped out by Ryan's wife following him around during that soup kitchen fiasco. She looks like she has Stockholm Syndrome.

  22. Crank_Tango

    Christ, you guys, they just caught him at a bad moment, when he realized he forgot to get more roofies.

  23. Biff

    Can't remember who posted the link to the stills last night, bit frightened me, so I went to bed and curled up in a fetal position.

  24. azeyote

    he looks like the guy everyone wants to know about the next day after the massacre from the night before. he seemed a little wierd they will say and slowly nod to each other.

  25. JackObin

    What do you expect from humanoids who don't drink? Sanity? Humanity? These people are quite dangerous.

  26. Benny

    That dude is definitely looking at me……

    I swear ima beat the shit out of him if he doesn't stop staring at me.

  27. Powerpuff_Grl

    He has Ann's eyes, even though he resembles his father in his other features.

    The 1st time that I saw her, I noticed the shape of her eyes and brows – she's got this evil, Cruella de Vil thing going on, especially if she is not smiling.

  28. owhatever

    I am asking my insurance company to cover the wooden stake, pint of holy water and the bulbs of garlic that I will need if Damien's daddy is elected.

    1. bikerlaureate

      Thankfully there will always be Wonkette to repost this picture again and again when Josh runs for public office.

  29. ttommyunger

    I'm sure that look does wonders among his close circle of yes-men and ass-kissers. Try it in the real world and he'll find himself in a beat-down just for drill.

  30. TootsStansbury

    Fucking Hell that's scary. Mittens is the well adjusted member of the family? Tha Fuuuuck??

  31. spareme

    Ann sure did raise him right! Good boy! His mama probably told him a million times to make sure he wears a condom anytime you axe murder someone! Ozzie and Harriet did it right by Gawd!

  32. miss_grundy

    He looks like something from the Walking Dead or an alien. Perhaps he could do us the favor of self-deporting and taking daddy with him.

  33. ChicagoLory

    Seriously? I count on Wonkette to give me the news I need inbetween my 10 nytimes articles a month, and you give me a scene from American Psycho?

  34. miss_grundy

    Is that look supposed to terrify Bammerz, because Barry should just like up a cigarette and blow smoke into his face, then toss some beer or alcohol at him, then light a match.

  35. Negropolis

    I think I saw this guy on Dexter.

    They need to check the backyards of all the Romney homes, and dig up the space under the car elevator in La Jolla. Fucker could cut a diamond with his face. He looks like a lesser Bond villian.

    One of those eyes is not like the other…honestly, he looks like what happens when you try to copy a copy of a copy. Eventually, it degrades.

  36. Calapine

    I am not condoning murder, but I think Patrick Bateman did have the right ideas about dealing with bankers.

  37. smellypossum

    Lil' Joshie was just concerned that Barry was spoiling his plans for a kill room (complete with 10 hp macerator pump floor drain) in the basement of the white house.

Comments are closed.