at least he didn't call him boy

Humble Gent Mitt Romney Tells President Of United States Of America To STFU


What was your favorite part of last night’s Friendly Friends Hour of Good Times and Niceness? Was it when trustworthy, loyal, helpful, thrifty, cheerful, courteous and brave mild-mannered gentleman Miffed Romney told the President of the United States to shut the fuck up? PROBABLY NOT! But let’s relive it anyway!

Miffed Romney: Blah blah blah coal.

B. Barry Bamz: [Stands, uncoiling like a STEALTHY COBRA of WHOOPASS]

Miffed Romney: You’ll get your chance in a moment, I’m still speaking!

So let us unpack this. Two weeks ago, we all thought Miffed Romney was rude when he talked over Bamz and poor sad Jim Lehrer. Then last week, we knew Old Handsome Joe Biden was rude to poor, wilting Punk Ryan, but we didn’t care, because Punk Ryan needed Big Daddy Joe to spank the lies off his face. But all of a sudden, the Fox people cared! Oh lawdy Biden was a drunken rude lunatic! All of a sudden, rudeness was wrong!

Now it is Miffed’s turn to be a total cockhole again. But the quality of this rudeness — not just talking over people and trying to out-macho the president like he’d manhandled poor dumb Rick Perry, which was rude, but not unexpectedly so — no, this one is qualitatively, gaspingly WHAT THE FUCK in its disrespect to the man, the office, the motherfuckin’ US of A! He didn’t just talk over the president. He told him to shut his fucking trap, he’d let him know when he was needed.

So let us ponder. If not the President of the United States, to whom did Miffed Romney think he was speaking?

  • The piddling God who only rules Earth.
  • The London Olympics Committee.
  • The sharp-tongued harridans of The View.
  • Tyler Perry.
  • The valet with the shifty look about him.
  • The Yorkists who tried to steal his throne. Also, Thomas More. And that fucker the Pope.
  • The LA Times customer service rep who doesn’t care that you tried to cancel your subscription six months ago when you moved, and you’re still paying for it, and can’t get it delivered to your new building, and who suggests that instead of canceling it you could just keep paying to have it delivered to “a family member” instead. Oh right, that was us, and we were a super-bitch. Not sorry though.

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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  • Goonemeritus

    Mitt seems kind of uppity.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      It's a good thing he didn't smile. Fox would have had to tear him a new one, just like Ol Handsome Joe.

      • JustPixelz

        Mitt had a forced smile-like expression most of the time. LIke he's remembering he should smile but not look happy. It was kinda creepy.

        • RedneckMuslin

          Naw, I think he just had to fart.

          • elviouslyqueer

            My money was on chronic constipation.

          • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

            Irritable Bowel Syndrome? Perhaps Mittens needs to buy a Probiotics factory.

    • Sophist[Kochblocker]

      White people can't be uppity, silly. We deserve to be in charge.

    • DahBoner

      Sure, cuz he's UNEMPLOYED but has a COLOR TV, CELL PHONE AND CABLE.

      Miff was born with a sense of Entitlement…

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    If not the President of the United States, to whom did Miffed Romney think he was speaking?

    Rafalca's fluffer.

    • cousinitt

      But I thought he pre-self-deported Rafalca's fluffers back to Mexico.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        He got confused by the brown skin.

    • ttommyunger

      Ann?

  • snowpointsecret

    He obviously got Obama mistaken for Candy Crowley. It's understandable, as Obama was feeding him crow all night.

  • Indiepalin

    Headline of the day (World Net Daily):

    "Reporters Covering Debate Drink Beer"

    • Serolf_Divad

      "World Net Daily Staffers Covering Debate High On Meth."

    • Esteev

      "World Net Daily Still Thinks It's Taken Seriously"

      Your move, the Onion.

  • FakaktaSouth

    What was your favorite part of last night’s Friendly Friends Hour of Good Times and Niceness?

    My favorite part was then, is now, and will forever be, when PresO told Mitt he wasn't like Bush, he was worse. I think that should be all they say all the time now. Osama is dead, the car industry is saved, and Mitt would suck harder than Bush.

    • Nothingisamiss

      Oh, yes.

    • prommie

      I think you should string together clips of the stuttering my love. That was my favorite part, once you pointed it out, watching Mitt just stammer and gape, all rocked back on his heels and defensive, looking as lost as a Gator QB getting sacked for the 7th time in the first half.

      • FakaktaSouth

        He was a stuttering stammering fool. It is remarkable to watch a man who is clearly not used to being called on his bullshit have to deal with direct in his face accurate descriptions of his lies, hyperbole, back and forth-ery, and wrongness. So so good for my soul. And that's NUMBER 2 Flarda QB, dontcha know. Fucking Gators. Bama'll getcha, like PresO all over Mitts lies, just come on with it.

        • prommie

          The Flarda-Bama SEC championship will be closer than this election. OBama is gonna whup this shitfuck ratbastard motherfucking fuckstick like Bama is gonna whup sorry old Auburn.

          • MissTaken

            Go O'Bama, Roll Tide!

        • Willardbot9000_V2.5

          Yes I loved that part and I think Bamz needs to do it more often. Instead of framing Mitts policies as being "more of the same that got us into this mess" he needs to unpack it like this: "Miffed FatheadMormonAsshole's campaign is being run almost exclusively by Bush people. His ideas are Bush-era, they are wrong and they are dumb given what Bush's ideas did the last time. Miffed MagicUnderwearPatrickBatemanSon is not serious, he just wants power"…I'd love it were he that blunt.

    • sullivanst

      My favorite part was when I noticed that B Barry Bamz had done what was heretofore thought impossible, and wiped the smug fucking smirk off Mitt's face. It was in the Libya question, but before Candy smacked him down on the use of the word "terror" – at least, that's when I noticed it, I actually believe the smirk had worn off for a few minutes by then.

    • pdiddycornchips

      My fav was the coal exchange.

      "I'm Mr. Coal"

      "You stood in front of a coal plant and said coal kills people"

      Bamz shoved that coal right up his ass.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Hope he saved a piece … or do Mormons not hang stockings up for Christmas?

      • calliecallie

        where it hardened into a diamond, he's such a tight ass.

        • doloras

          Cameron libel!

    • vtxmcrider

      My favorite moment was when Mittens was trying to control everything, talking over Barry and Candy, and Candy said, "Sit down, Mr. Romney!" … and then muttered under her breath, "On Barry's cock."

  • BadKitty904

    I'm thinking it's that second-to-last option…

  • PsycWench

    Yeah, well, Barry can remind Romney of this during Inauguration Address #2.

    • JustPixelz

      I'm not a trained psych-wench or a Fox doctor, but my lay diagnosis of Romney is intoxicated sociopath with dementia and Tourette's. Or asshole.

      • Terry

        An asshole who is not used to anyone contradicting him or disagreeing with him….ever.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        *Entitled* asshole.

        • BadKitty904

          We were genuinely hoping Rmoney was going to come out with a "How DARE you…"

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Nah, I'd say Romney suffers from acute megalomania brought upon by reactive attachment disorder, delusion and constant self agrandizement. One of his favorite stories was how the families black servant (the way Miffed likes it) told him he'd be President…as a baby, apparently. So even back then he was getting smoke blown up his ass about how awesome he is therefore he handles everything from the standpoint of someone who doesn't believe he's ever wrong. The chamleon routine is corporate douchebaggery at its finest, he's just a packaged product after all. Reactive Attachment Disorder is because he's a fucking sociopath who's not capable of really attaching to anyone…he can love (sort of) but zero loyalty to anyone but himself and his money.

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Oh and his business douchery? Very simple…studies show people are less comfortable robbing from their own class and group than from another. Kind of places his raping of pension funds and hollowing out companies after seeing the board off with a golden parachute into context, doesn't it? Same with his tax avoidance schemes (which some may not be legal) and his cruelty to animals…he's a terrible human and a shitbag to boot.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    'Stealthy Cobra of Whoopass' is my new favorite term for our POTUS.

    Also, Mittens is a total dick.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Also, so stealing SCoW for my new hipster punk rock band

      • kingofmeh

        i think "binders of women" would be pretty awesome too.

      • PugglesRule

        Need a doo-wop girl?

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Oh hell ya! We can make it a hipster punk rock barbershop doo wop band. No probs.

    • Ducksworthy

      Mitt thy name is Dick. Or is it the other way around?

  • 1stNewtontheMoon

    the rarely seen Reverse Eastwood a/k/a the Mormon Mind Trick: if you pretend hard enough that black people don't–or in this case, a black person doesn't–exist, then you can ignore them until it becomes uncomfortably absurd.

    • tessiee

      Aw, we used to do that:
      "Who is that? Did someone speak? I didn't hear anything, did you?"
      Except we did it with people we didn't like, not black people.
      Oh, yeah — and we were ELEVEN!

      • sewollef

        Just for clarification, did you mean: A) "…we were eleven years of age"…. or, just possibly, B) there were eleven of your friends not liking someone?

        Just checking, 'cos I like both options in this context.

  • hagajim

    Yeah – I was kind of blown away when I saw that. Talk about arrogant asshole. Wow!

    • JustPixelz

      "arrogant asshole"

      Can we just say someone is a "mitt" instead?

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        "My boss is such a mitt!"

        yep. works.

        • Jus_Wonderin

          "My exwife is such an ann!"

    • OneYieldRegular

      I was watching in a bar (duh!), and at this moment in the debate the entire place erupted in sustained booing.

    • mrpuma2u

      Yeah mittens' elitism was really showing there. "Hey bitches, the rules don't apply to me, I'm Mitt fuckin' Romney, ya hear? MITT FUCKIN' ROMNEY IS TALKING! "

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        "Hey, I'm talkin' here. I'm talkin' here! Up yours!"

  • Schmannnity

    In case you were wondering what bi-partisanship would look like under a Romney administration.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      So basically what bipartisanship looked like under Bush only more impolite.

      • Willardbot9000_V2.5

        Bush was an asshole to politicians oh sure but to the general public he didn't have one iota of the superficial, condescending, arrogance, mean, pissy, self aggrandizement Miffed has. I mean at least the public didn't get the distinct impression that Bush PROBABLY hates you if you're not a rightwing WASPy CEO the way this douchecanoe lets off (see previous reply for some choice examples I could think of) to others.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      It sounds like that's exactly what bi-partisanship was like when Miffed was governor.

    • mrpuma2u

      Will it fall on twiggy calfs Ryan to tell his democratic former colleagues of the house to go fuck themselves???

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Yes or the story of that teacher who Mitt went off on for several minutes about how awful every teacher is and then when she tried to rebut his response was, "I didn't ASK you a question"…the story didn't have the emphasis but I'll bet it was there. Or when he told that lesbian woman when she asked him about his assholery on marraige, "you can just tell your child the same thing you've said for years" (like I CARE, lady) or when he talked about flexibility for women because "IF women are going to be in the workplace" they should be able to go home early to "cook dinner"….how is this asshole not getting piled on right now for everything he says?

  • Allmighty_Manos

    I think he was talking to the Sally Jesse Raphel look alike who asked that fucking Bush question.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      And yet, only the third stupidest question of the night.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        What are you guys talking about!? That was an awesome setup of a question that went straight to Mitt's jugular.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Agreed. She was setting a trap for him, and caught him.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Because I thought all eleven questions were pretty dumb. The only ones dumber than that were the "If you were a twee, what twee would you be?" (public misperceptions) and the one about assault weapns.

          • Willardbot9000_V2.5

            Nah the dumbest was that fat old Minnesotan who tried to pretend that he and his dickheads at work wondered "who's responsible for the Bengazi thing" (essentially trying to get Bamz to throw Hillary or himself under the bus)…not only was it a stupid, inspid question (a better question is, why did it happen?) designed to fluff the wobot but it had no bearing on the debate other than for Faux Nuuz Jerome Corsi conspiracies. I don't remember anyone asking Dubya in 2004 why neither his adminstration nor AG Asscrack made terrorism any sort of a domestic priority…Asscracks last "wishlist" delivered to Congress before 9/11 didn't have terrorism as being any sort of domestic priority…it didn't crack his top 10 (but you know legal pornography did)

        • James Michael Curley

          Right, since most of the 'questioners' seemed to be reading I tend to think their questions were reviewed in advance, filtered into groups and the people were advised such and such a question is a duplicate. Then the moderator chose what she thought would bring the best view time on the Neilsons.

        • HouseOfTheBlueLights

          If she wasn't a plant, I'll eat my Obama 44 tshirt

          • Willardbot9000_V2.5

            I don't think she was…listen to her entire question. Not a once does she give Barry credit or stilt the question in any way other than to allow Mittbot to attempt to differentiate itself from Bush (epic fail). A lot of people feel that way and they should…Bush is an epic fuckup and eveyone still hates him and its really hard to tell where Miffed's policies differ from Dubya's. It was a legitimate, laser-guided question and Miffed fucked up the answer because really he can't truly differentiate himself. Then Bamz rubbed his nose in shit which was awesome.

  • YouBetcha

    Romney strikes me as the kind of insufferable prick who is not accustomed to being challenged.

    • PsycWench

      He is giving off a Ross Perot type vibe…the wealthy guy who is shocked that someone dare question him.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        if he starts in about his daughter's wedding…

        • Isyaignert

          Haha – I'm so old that I remember that one! The funny thing is that Ross Perot was right about that giant sucking sound being jobs leaving the US.

      • tessiee

        ARE YOU QUESTIONING ME??

        Oh, wait, that's Cornholio.

        • mayor_quimby

          Cornholio libel! The benevolent Cornholio would never be so rude.

    • Nothingisamiss

      I love this about Romney. Do we not all hate the insufferable prick at our job, at holiday dinners…the one who cannot be challenged? More poking with the (big, black) stick in this tender spot, please.

      • calliecallie

        You only have one?

    • tessiee

      I noticed that at several points during last night's debate.
      Bullying people and ordering servants around are the only two coping mechanisms he has.
      When confronted with a situation where neither of those two tactics worked, he looked good and pissed-off, but he also looked baffled and almost panicky.

      • PsycWench

        You'd almost think that Republican primary voters hadn't said no to him a few times.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Yes, Your Whiteness.

    • Schmannnity

      Call me Massa Mitt.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Oh my God, this so wins.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Obama should be careful, or Romney will bind him.

  • asterixaverni

    "no, this one is qualitatively, gaspingly WHAT THE FUCK in its disrespect to the man, the office, the motherfuckin’ US of A! "

    Thank you. I haven't spotted anyone else bringing this up. The Republicans have been nothing but rude and insulting to the President since he took office. They have no respect for the man, the office or the US.

    • PsycWench

      or, it would seem, the voters.

      • sewollef

        ….especially the voters.

      • HistoriCat

        In all fairness, I have no respect for people who voted for those douche-nozzles either.

    • MegPasadena

      From Charles Pierce, http://www.esquire.com/blogs/politics/last-night-

      "Outside of street protestors, and that Iraqi guy who threw a shoe at George W. Bush, I have never seen a more lucid example of manifest public disrespect for a sitting president than the hair-curling contempt with which Romney invested those words. (I've certainly never seen one from another candidate.) He's lucky Barack Obama prizes cool over everything else. LBJ would have taken out his heart with a pair of salad tongs and Harry Truman would have bitten off his nose."

      • Willardbot9000_V2.5

        True…I mean if this were like Singapore or one of those other countries where legislators FIGHT over shit like this…Bamz would have beat the shit out of him for being such a fucking prick and he absolutely deserved it. The nerve of that motherfucker…fucking corporate dickhead failure of a politician…who the fuck does he think he is?

        • doloras

          Singapore is virtually a one-party state, you're thinking of Taiwan.

          But the point is that that's EXACTLY what Repub voters want to see – rudeness and disrespect to the uppity nigrah.

          • MegPasadena

            Yeah, I am from Taiwan, I know how it is. Sad face.

          • Willardbot9000_V2.5

            true…I named the wrong place. It's funny though that everytime Taiwan is in the news its because some sort of vicious scrum has broken out amongst its legislators. I'll bet their legislator selection process is a bit like hockey where some areas will send goons just to make sure the opposition's star legislators get beatings. Could you imagine such a system in the US? Haha…the rightwingers in Congress would be pissing their pants.

      • Isyaignert

        I "heart" Charlie Pierce. Thanks for sharing Meg.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Your newspaper delivery story reminds me of my local paper.

    I sign up for a years worth of delivery, wait a month, and no paper. I call the circulation dept, who verify "no we don't have you on our delivery list." I FAX them a copy of the cancelled check (as requested), still no delivery. Call them again, and get "Oh, are you sure the paper isn't being delivered to another address, we'll have to check." Wait another week. No paper. Finally I call the advertising department, mention the small but regular display ads my business runs in their paper, and suggest politely that if I don't start getting my fucking paper tomorrow morning, you can kiss my future advertising goodbye forever.

    It's like these people are trying their hardest to go out of business.

    • sewollef

      Your suggestion and your politeness is a treasure to behold and a maxim I shall adopt heretoforthwith. Also.

    • cousinitt

      Listen, libtard, you should be thankful it wasn't a government-run paper. At least, you can hold the private business accountable and there are plenty of other local papers you can choose from. It's not like there are any monopolies on media in this country–freedom and capitalism and the like and such as.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      I'm STILL waiting for my Wonkette paper to arrive.

      • OneDollarJuana

        Are you sure it's not being delivered to another IP address?

      • Toomush_Infer

        Hey, maybe that's whose paper I'm getting – thanks!….I like the little devil girl headlines….

      • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

        Wonkette paper? Interesting. I normally just use tissue.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Something about your canceled check, I bet.

    • Lot_49

      If the phone company had not grown so bloated and lazy from collecting $1.50/month for a coily handset cord, it might have had the foresight to think that someday someone might want to send moving pictures and data down its wonderful, highly reliable, world-wide network of wires. Had they been that smart, there'd be no Cox Cable or AT&T Cellular (the twin worst companies on earth) and we'd all be much happier.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    The piddling God who only rules Earth.

    My favorite moment, almost, was Mittsy's benediction at the end! Only, the subtext came across "I believe we you [people] are all children of a [lesser] God."

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I wish someone had stood up at that point and shouted "ALLAH BE PRAISED!"

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        That would've been wonderful.
        Sadly, in a room that whitewashed, not likely.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          MICHAEL JONES LIBEL!

      • redarmyzombie

        ALLAHU AKBAR!

    • Radiotherapy

      Creeping backdoor Mormon Law!!1!

      • Esteev

        Latch key Mormons?

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Robert Plant: "I wanna be your back Mor man!"

        • Radiotherapy

          Jim Morrison would work too.:

          You men eat your dinner
          Eat your pork and beans
          I eat more big bird
          Than any man ever seen, yeah, yeah

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Nobody got hit with a folding chair. That's all I care about.

    • Nothingisamiss

      I would have LOVED IT if someone got hit by a chair.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Yeah, I was kinda disappointed, too.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      Romney would be a good WWE heel, he's got the sneer down perfect.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Maybe this will happen the next time Linda McMahon debates.

      • James Michael Curley

        I get McMahon's ads. They are so full of shit and lies the pixels from my TV run somewhere and hide.

  • Lucidamente1

    Rebecca Schoenkopf, Super-Bitch . . . wait a second . . . fap, fap, fap . . . Okay, what were we talking about?

  • Callyson

    to whom did Miffed Romney think he was speaking?

    Seamus, just after tying him to the roof

    The women in the binders, just after hiring some of them

    The American people, when asked how he would make his tax cuts revenue neutral,.

  • no_gravity

    Mitt don't care. Mitt don't give a shit. Mitt says whatever Mitt wants to whomever Mitt wants. Mitt is gone on November 7.

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      Mitt: the Money Badger.

      • edgydrifter

        YOU WIN THE INTERNET TODAY!!

    • asterixaverni

      He'll be gone November 7th, but sadly I think he'll crop up again mid-2015.

      Unless he can be tricked into running for President in some other country. Like Cuba.

      • no_gravity

        This is Mitt's last hurrah.

      • insidebeltway

        Israel.

        • doloras

          Romney/Netanayhu debates! "I say your extermination plan for the Palestinans goes too far!" "And I say *your* extermination plan for the Palestinians doesn't go too far enough!" "YOU'RE A GENTILE!" "NO, YOU'RE A GENTILE!!!"

  • wondering where i am

    It was like Obama was some suck-ass junior executive making only $100,000 a year who had had the temerity to come interrupt the boss in his office.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      $400,000 actually. So yes, Romney Chump Change.

      • Terry

        Egg has that much in change and loose bills in the bottom of her Louis Vuitton birkin bag.

        • Toomush_Infer

          Not to mention in her other Cadillac glove box…

  • edgydrifter

    Non-deferential behavior triggers Romney's "privileged asshole reflex." Scorpion's gonna sting, dick's gonna be a dick–you can't escape your nature.

  • BlueStateLibel

    The Stench is strong with Willard, isn't it?

    • Barrelhse

      Yes. It still lingers here in Boston harbor at low tide.

  • kyeshinka

    Something was missing the whole night. I half-expected Mitt-a-one-and-a-two Romney to break out and instruct the dullardly crowd in America the Beautiful, all five versus. Nobody would be allowed to leave without mastering it.

  • UnholyMoses

    "to whom did Miffed Romney think he was speaking?"

    The option for "A blah guy who's not really American and not rich and, thus, some peon to be controlled and bullied" is missing.

    • BadKitty904

      "Driving Mitt Crazy"…

  • tessiee

    It's an understandable mistake.
    The other gentleman is "suntanned", so Mitt mistook him for his chauffeur.

  • UnholyMoses

    Now imagine if, say, John Kerry had said the same to Dubya during the 2004 debates.

    Now imagine the total, complete, near-nuclear-level of freaking the fuck out of the wingnutosphere, Rush, Fox, Hannity, et alia.

    Once more, with feeling: IOKIYAR

    • NellCote71

      Really. They would still be clutching their pearls.

  • Smithboy

    I am not a financial expert but I believe Mr. Romney said he would eliminate all taxes on unearned income such as interest on savings and dividends from stocks, which means, ALL of Mr. Romney's $20,000,000 annual income from investments would be tax exempt. Sweet huh?

    He has to be tired of 14% of his investment income being sucked out of his off shore accounts to pay taxes in this country. Speaking of off shore accounts, I wish Obama would have asked Mitt to bring his money in off shore accounts so it could be used to….CREATE JOBS!!!!

    • MissTaken

      To be fair, he said he would eliminate cap gains, dividend, and interest tax on those making less than $200,000. Although he probably would also add those making more than $200,000 because he's a dick.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        I'm glad you guys could follow that, because all I could hear was that Romney's going to give everyone a "bucket", which we will use in our privy chambers after the water infrastructure collapses, and to vomit into whenever President Mittens is on the TV.

      • SorosBot

        Which is very important to those of use non-rich, saving the money on taxes on at most a few dollars' interest from a savings account. Dickhead is so out-of-touch he doesn't even realize that people making under $200,000 normally don't have capital gains. Grrr.

        • Lot_49

          Sure they do! In their 401(k)s and IRAs! Where they're not taxed anyway!

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Until you need the money. Then it's taxed as ordinary income, because you're not in the 1% who deserve the break.

          • Lot_49

            True, and taxed as ordinary income, rather than at the for-most-earners more favorable cap gains rate.

        • cousinitt

          And he made is sound like he was giving us a sparkle pony or something–and that's what was really infuriating about this idea. Romney KNOWS better but says it anyway just to get elected and people to think he isn't the biggest effing weasel on the planet. And he would tell the unsuspecting to their faces

      • pepperpat

        That means the 28 cents my savings account earns every year is ALL PROFIT, baby!

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          You have savings? What a snob!

      • James Michael Curley

        And replace those income tax loopholes with regular tax rates thus being able to trumpet the "Highest Wage Owners will still pay 60% of the taxes."

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        "he said he would eliminate cap gains, dividend, and interest tax on those making less than $200,000."

        Probably by not taxing cap gains, dividends, and interest until they reach $200,000 (each).

    • Terry

      He also said he'd cap deductions at something along the lines of $2500 but that you could put charitable, mortgage, or education deductions all toward that total amount. Essentially, he said rich folks would pay no taxes and poor to middle class people would lose most of their deductions and pay more.

      • James Michael Curley

        What keeps slipping through on Rmoney's tax cuts off set with deduction cuts bull shit is that the higher your adjusted gross income when you get to line 23/24 on a 1040, the less you save on your taxes when you deduct those standard deductions and the charitable, mortgage and educations deductions because all are set either at fixed levels or practical levels. If you are making $XX million a year your mortgage deduction quickly diminishes to fractions of a per cent. Whereas if you are earning $50,000 a year and have a house at a reasonable mortgage rate of 250% of gross income, your mortgage deduction is three or four per cent of your adjusted gross income. So what becomes a insignificant deduction offset for some one making $1,500,000 is a substantial adjusted gross income increase for someone making $50,000.

    • pdiddycornchips

      That's exactly what he said. He wants to eliminate the estate tax and tax capital gains at zero. Somehow, this will bring jobs to millions of people, balance the budget and usher in a new era of bipartisanship. We will each get a sparkle pony and a brand new Mercedes. It's gonna be awesome!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Mitt thinks people inherit their jobs. (To be fair, it's true, among his friends.)

        • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

          Why do you think Mitt Is spending so much time and money pursuing his True Calling, that of a Professional Failed Presidential Candidate?

  • Lucidamente1

    "You’ll get your chance in a moment, I’m still speaking! I mean, Jesus, what is it with you people? We lifted the Curse of Cain thing in 1978, and now you think you own the world. Please."

    • pdiddycornchips

      Just like Bamz was prepared for this debate, I bet he's got a trap ready for Mitts condescending bullshit the next time they meet.

  • tessiee

    I've commented to this effect before, but…
    Dickish, insolent, and weak, all at the same time, like every character James Spader has ever played.

    • prommie

      Thats truly funny! Boston Legal too!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Barack better watch his six in Boca next week. Mitt is apt to open a file of whupass on him.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Binder.

      • NellCote71

        Word.

    • unclejeems

      Puh-lease, how bourgeoisie. Mitt has servants to open cans.

  • BoroPrimorac

    That shit made me want to kill that Nigga (Robme).

  • MC5

    The Help.

    • freakishlywrong

      NEEDS MOAR SHIT PAAH..

  • HRH_Maddie

    And Romney is this rude when he wants something. God help us when he isn't asking for our votes.

    • Terry

      Imagine what he'd do the first time he sends his budget to Congress and they ignore the heck out of it and make their own budget(s)….just like they do to every president. His head would explode.

    • Lot_49

      Remember how Ann responded to questions about tax returns. "You people…"

    • Esteev

      But he'll do anything for votes!

      Yes, even that.

  • sbj1964

    Mitt was only at that coal mine to buy parting gifts for the people bane has layed off this year.Christmas right around the corner.

  • WhatTheHeck

    They call me MISTER Tibbs.

    • BadKitty904

      They Call Him MISTER Fibs…

  • MissTaken

    If Mitt treats the POTUS like that, can you imagine how horrible he is to his servants? Good gawd.

    • FNMA

      For some reason a quote from Lucille Bluth comes to mind: "How do you say 'I know you understand English' in Spanish?"

      • sewollef

        Like this: HEY! FUCKIN' ASSHOLE OVER THERE, YES YOU!!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      "James! Ballwash!"

  • orygoon

    I can't wait to see that guy in my rear view mirror. And it better be weeks, not years.

    • vtxmcrider

      After he has been run over (with votes).

  • UnholyMoses

    AT LEAST HE DIDN'T CALL HIM BOY

    Well, no, he didn't.

    But it was surely implied.

    • elviouslyqueer

      No shit. You could just see the whole "I can't believe this ni**er is talking back to me" look in his eyes.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Remember, he did that in the first debate, when he called Obama a lying boy like his prevaricating sons.

      • Isyaignert

        That was the one that really got to me. Rmoney is a dicks' dick. He could teach a PhD level course on being a dick.

  • Detesticle

    "You can't speak — you're an invisible person on a chair. Let me finish, Ghostbama. Afterward, however, feel free to bend me over and insert yourself into my ass with your rope-a-dope."

  • Cleopatriot

    You mean Romney didn't call the President 'boy' last night. Because he did in the first debate.

    • Sassomatic

      Damn you. You got to it first.

  • Smithboy

    I am not a financial expert but I believe Mr. Romney said he would eliminate all taxes on unearned income such as interest on savings and dividends from stocks, which means, ALL of Mr. Romney's $20,000,000 annual income from investments would be tax exempt. Sweet huh?

    • Isyaignert

      It's true – Rmoney would pay less than 1% in federal income taxes under the Rayn plan to rape Americans.

  • FNMA

    I'm beginning to think that this Mitt Romney person is kind of a dick.

    • Terry

      Yes. Yes, he is. But oddly enough, he's probably overcompensating for a very small peen.

      • Esteev

        And it chronically being ignored.

  • Tundra Grifter

    OT – But pretty fully – "NY evangelical college probes 'Obama' filmmaker"
    http://news.yahoo.com/ny-evangelical-college-prob

    Is that a great headline or what?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Wait. D'Souza is PRESIDENT of something????

      ETA: HOLY SHIT! EDITRIX!

      "Obviously, I wouldn't have introduced her as my fiancee if I thought we were doing anything improper," D'Souza said, adding they have called off their engagement.

      We broke D'Souza!

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Which is to say, he didn't think it was improper. Someone should do a documentary about this weasel.

    • BadKitty904

      Butt a truly loathsome visual image…

    • SmutBoffin

      Whatta scam. "Yeah, officer, that prostitute is my, uh, fiance. For the next 45 minutes."

  • savethispatient

    To whom did Miffed Romney think he was speaking?
    That one, HEEENNNNGHH

    • Pat_Pending

      Wonkette turned 'HEEENNNNGHH' into a meme…

  • mavenmaven

    Professor Plum, with a lead pipe, in the library.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      Mr. Obama, with his fucking fist, on Candy Crowley's desk.

  • jesus_vs_gojira

    I've worked for people like that.

    • red_kira

      I worked for a mofo like that once, too, and I danced when he died.

  • freakishlywrong

    Willard was insufferable. "It's our turn now, boy".

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Can you imagine him negotiating with China? He'd probably come in and ask for his shirts to be done with medium starch and if they could get the stain out of the jacket that would be wonderful.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      and make a few jokes about Chinese names and silverware hitting the floor. That killed when he told it in the boardroom

    • littlebigdaddy

      Or extra peanuts with his moo goo gai pan.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      "And I have a binderful of Chinks"

    • Negropolis

      "Yes, me and the Mrs. would like the #1 w/pork, unleaded and no MSG…"

  • freakishlywrong

    The sharp-tongued harridans of The View.
    Nah, Miffed is skeered of them. Bitch cancelled.

  • Pat_Pending

    I told my sixth grade teacher to shut up. The gasps that came from my classmates were palpable. Fortunately I also spied my teacher stifling a snerk and so my life of tragic comedy ensued…

  • prommie

    Mitt's God-Pander at the end was just mind-blowingly crude, obvious, pathetic, insincere, just fucking godawfully awful. He might as well have wrapped himself with a flag and started humping a crucifix while he was at it. It was like some of Denise Richards' lines in Drop Dead Gorgeous. It was self-parody, its hard to snark on how fucking low, what a sociopathic insincere lying pandering shitbag this fucking man is.

    • FakaktaSouth

      Hey y'all I'm the God Candidate AIN'T gonna save Mitt, there's no way. AND Oh dear me, I just heard Mitt say from a speech TODAY "I find it interesting that the president still doesn't have a plan for his second term" Does he think we are all absolutely void of reasoning skills on ANY level? That man said NOTHING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about how he would do ONE SINGLE THING last night, not even save us all through Mormon Jesus. PROJECTION IS A REAL THING MITT, you Derpy Dickish Dolt.

      • prommie

        Projection, the whole psychological concept of projection, taking your own very worst flaws and seeing them in everyone around you, they should change the fucking name of that phenomenon. It should be known as "KarlRoving."

      • elviouslyqueer

        That man said NOTHING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about how he would do ONE SINGLE THING last night

        The ABC debate Twitter feed was hilarious last night. It was essentially 20 million retweets of "Answer the fucking question, you asshole."

    • BadKitty904

      In other words, ideal for a Faux News audience…

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Seems you're holding back some prommie. Please let it all out, you'll feel better.

    • Toomush_Infer

      The big problem with this (and all his other b.s.) is that these voters are undecided, not bought and paid for by the Rethuglican Party…it makes it harder to sell this shit…

    • Negropolis

      I thought it was just about the oddest thing he could have done. The very last thing he should want to do is to even get people to jog their brains about what his religions is, and then he goes into the "child of god" bullshit, and it just blew my mind.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    What's Paul Ryan's whole view of the situation? I see Biden went public with his remarks, where's the opposition #2? When are they going to let Ryan be Ryan, except for last week when they let Ryan be Ryan and he ended up getting a Biden fryin'.

    • sewollef

      Poetic. Almost lyrical…

    • FNMA

      I saw Ryan on one of the morning shows saying that Mitt "crushed it."
      Anyone who uses that expression is a douchebag. As if we need any further confirmation.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Did he go on to say "Mitt shreds!!" ?

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Apparently The Mittster skipped school the day they taught etiquette at Richie Rich Academy.

    • pepperpat

      Yeah, but it was an elective anyway.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      No, he was there he was just off "giving a haircut".

    • AutomaticPilot

      But he took the A.P. class in Douchebaggery.

    • Negropolis

      Silly, they don't teach etiqutte at Richie Rich Academy.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    Angry Obama from Key & Peele should mouth-fuck him with votes for that.

  • littlebigdaddy

    Check out the Denver Post's online poll. Not scientific, but a good measure of partisan enthusiasm: http://www.denverpost.com/

  • Radiotherapy

    But it wasn't in the transcript!

  • Blunderthing

    Yeah. If he treats the Prez this way, imagine what he thinks of you. Like, negative a thousand million zeros.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I like Pi. Well, the part where it never ends part.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        mmmm neverending pie….

  • OneYieldRegular

    This is just part and parcel of the whole Republican condescending attitude towards the President, the arrogant assumption that they somehow have the right to be disrespectful. It's vile. When you think about it, it's not much different from their assumption that looking at women in binders constitutes affirmative advocacy for gender equality.

    • BadKitty904

      I sincerely don't understand their surreal sense of entitlement.

    • DCBloom

      Remember when we protested the war and they said we were being disrespectful? Oh yeah, I forgot, blah

  • Disassembly

    Will you cut the malarkey? There's a white man talking up here!

  • Doktor Zoom

    He just didn't like the President being so stand-uppity.

  • HRH_Maddie

    Extremely OT, but this was just posted by the RNC: http://www.gop.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/201

    Where the hell did they manage to find a four-ring binder?!?

    • MissTaken

      Can't be Obama's binder. Where teh white womenz at?

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      I'd say that's Mitt's binder, alright.

    • cousinitt

      Oh, I seeeeee. Four rings. That's the joke, OK, I get it now!!!111!!!!

      And here I didn't think conservatives even had a sense of humor.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      That is a fucking lame rejoinder to romneytaxplan.com. Also, to quote Obama, "that's just not true, Governor!"

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    I don't think Mitt Romney likes to be called out or questioned.

  • magic_titty

    The programming for Lie Robot did not include hardware to control its Manners Settings and can not be held responsible for its inability to address Humankind with proper respect.

    • Gleem McShineys

      This is a feature, not a bug.

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Can Mitt fire his programming staff? I hear he likes to fired folks.

  • 415buzzard

    "Dick" Romney came back out to play last night! I think Barry is getting under his skin now. Good times.

  • kyeshinka

    Mitt's shit is bananas.

  • NellCote71

    My favorite moment was in Rmoney thrust his chin at Obama, after he said it took 14 days for Obama to call it terrorism. He so thought he had just scored big time. My son used to do that as a teen-ager when he was testing the limits of authority: "Well, Jake's mom lets him ride a motorcycle." Thrusts chin at me, with a so-there look.

    And my son's argument had equal validity to Mitt's.

  • LibrarianX

    Romney also wanted President Obama frisked for stolen silver, but Candy Crowley intervened.

  • BlueStateLibel

    What I enjoyed was Mitt reduced to repeating at the end "The government doesn't create jobs," like he'd blown a circuit or something. Just remember, all you folks in the military, what you're doing isn't a REAL JOB. Same goes for you, Mr. Cop, federal judge, DMV clerk, FBI guy, you there fixing that bridge – that ain't a REAL JOB.

    • BadKitty904

      If "government doesn't create jobs," what job, exactly, is Mitt running for?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Continuing the Wouk references, it was like Captain Queeg having a breakdown about the fucking strawberries in "The Caine Mutiny."

    • DCBloom

      As the wife of a man with a degree in forestry (but working out of his field due to lack of gov't jobs) Fuck you Rmoney!

    • Isyaignert

      Also, too, the 650,000 government employees the 'cons fired this last year. If they were still working, unemployment would be at least a full point lower..

  • Wadisay

    Romney was talking fast 'cause he had to get home to work on his concession speech.

    • UW8316154

      i think Sarah has one he could use.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Michelle: "Barack, I think you were a little hard on the Beaver last night."

  • Wadisay

    I wish Barry O could have worked this into his closing remarks:

    In conclusion, Candy, sure, I could have put this bitch from Planet Kolub or wherever away 2 weeks ago, but think of all the fun we would have missed!

  • Indiepalin

    You'll get your chance, smart guy!

  • keepwalkin

    Every time Mitt does that his base skeets in unison.

    That's why he does it. Or it's because he's an asshole.

  • Mittaplasia

    The turning point (for me, at least) was when Obama channeled his inner Handsome Joe and said in a stern voice, "LOOK".

  • Mittaplasia

    Bams bullied the bully; what's not to like?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Just think, this is how Miffed talks to the *house* slave. Think of how he treats the field slaves.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    ruotwocone points out a most excellent Venn diagram that captures the flippy-floppy nuances that make Rmoney. Now we need someone to do a bit on Bainful fibbernazi numbers

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Very good!

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        Thanks Chet.

  • Mittaplasia

    Thanks to the pension zinger, at least Ramney has something bigger to brag on.l

    • James Michael Curley

      Obama missed when hit with that as his 'pension(s)' investments are based on the institutional decisions of large pension fund management for large groups of people (like the State of Illinois and Congress) and Romney's Trust investments are based on his personal income whether the so-called blind trust is a valid issue or not.

      Secondly, Romney's Trust which contains companies owned and investing in China as stated by some source, is not a pension. There is no restriction on how, when and for what purpose it can be returned to be fully controlled by Romney and invested in anything. Even if it's a pension since its a 'pension' of one person no Pension Benefits Guaranty Corp regulations apply. For Obama he has no ability to make investment decisions for what could be hundreds of other pension fund beneficiaries.

      Thirdly, after yielding his 'Trust' to the blind trust he vaguely defines (It appears to be in Ann Romney's name.) there is no restriction against giving the trust manager a simple generic instruction such as "Don't invest in foreign companies." Problem solved.

  • James Michael Curley

    Depending on what feed you were watching that particular instance had Romney running way over his two minutes. Obama was quite reasonably trying to avert the disparity from their first debate when Jim Leher never tried to rein in Romneys motor mouth.

  • Gnatsum

    Somebody fill me in here. I just woke up in a pool of my own vomit. The last thing I remember I was playing a debate drinking game where I had to take a shot every time Mittford told a lie.

  • Barrelhse

    "I thought he was Toby."

  • Jus_Wonderin

    My mom (83) who is not particularly political but wants better interest for her savings made a comment in email about this prick interupting the Bamz.

    "Ok points for O—didn't once look down
    kept his chin up/someone tightened his underwear
    romney not comfortable w/confrontation
    you catch that interupting?
    still a Perot write in haha Good Night."

  • Esteev

    Mitt Romney's a fucking child.

  • Gleem McShineys

    You say condescending asshole, I say condescending asshole.

    It's a lot like "tomato, to-mah-to," only you pronounce it "asshole" and "ahhs-hole"

  • Tundra Grifter

    Personally, I'm surprised Multiple-Choice Mitt didn't say "Sure I'll answer that question, Candy. Soon as I finish eating this watermelon."

  • James Michael Curley

    The incident when McCain pointed at Obama and coldly referred to him as "That One!" turned off a lot of people.

    I was taught a lesson George Romney apparently never taught Mitt; regardless of what you think of the man's policy or his parties policy you must always respect the office. Mitt demonstrated a sever lack of that virtue bordering on a whistle to the birthers, the 'Kenyan Usurper' and those who call Obama racial names under their breath and in anonymous posts on blogs.

  • Katydid

    God, I wish Barry had said, "You don't need to respect me, but you will respect the office of the president."

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    The Yorkists who tried to steal his throne.

    I'mma let you finish, but the First Barons' War was the Greatest Anti-Papist English Civil War of all time. Of ALL TIME.

  • carlgt1

    it's just his white-alpha-male boardroom swagger….

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    ☞ A black guy.

  • e_z

    "You'll get your chance, smart guy!" – Dean Wormer Romney

  • insidebeltway

    Remember when John McCain referred to President Obama as "that one" at their Town Hall debate? People said he was being dismissive. I just thought McCain forgot Obama's name.

  • calliecallie

    I blame Clint Eastwood. Rmoney talked to our beloved POTUS like Eastwood talked to that chair. Without so much yelling, but still.

  • comrad_darkness

    Mitt spent a lifetime as a bully. It's gotta be really hard to keep it in his head all the time.

  • comrad_darkness

    Wait, all Obama has to do is stand up and Mittens freaks out? Why haven't we learned this sooner?

  • ttommyunger

    Life is hard when one or two people refuse to kiss your ass for a few minutes…..Shit!

  • Sassomatic

    Well at least he didn't call him "boy." He didn't call him boy, did he?

  • Negropolis

    You guys really must forgive Romney. Sometimes, the President of The Help can get a bit mouthy and needs to be rebuked and shown his place. You see, good help is so hard to find, these days…

  • Negropolis

    The president gave Willard an unsolicited haircut, methinks.

  • cassamandra

    Well, I'm sorry about that newspaper thingee, but I sent you fifty bucks (fifty bucks!) via paypal, and you didn't even say "thank you, nice reader," so yeah, now you know what it feels like to be totally ignored by the people who have your cash.

  • James Michael Curley

    I finally got around to checking on your references as I don’t know a lot about this stuff, only that its success (and the need to file bankruptcy during the Linda McMahon era) does not appear to be very good training to become a Senator.First of all folks, the Senate cannot, by the US Constitution originate bills of revenue. So how can Linda McMahon claim she will cut everybody’s taxes by $500 a month?First of all if elected she will have no effect on anything other than federal taxes. $500 a month is $6,000 a year. To owe $6,000 in taxes your adjusted gross income has to exceed $42,000 or with a realistic average deductions from gross income, over $50,000. So she claims this will balance the budget and cut the deficit when she eliminates all federal revenue from every tax payer thousands of dollars above the median? That will put the entire federal revenue responsibility on about the top 20% of earners.