foxcyclopedia brownThere’s a conspiracy afoot, kid detectives!

After the debate, the networks posted “transcripts” of the debate. “What’s a transcript?” your dumb friend might ask. Well, a transcript is when someone writes down everything people said and then you cite from it on the internet!

Well, Fox News “transcribed” the debate last night, but there was a mysterious four minute audio gap.

In the middle of Romney’s answer on assault rifles, in which he pretty much blamed Barack Nobummer’s whore mom for Columbine, Fox News had an “audio gap,” pictured here.

This is part of the Mitt Romney debacle that Fox News nefariously covered up:

We, of course, don’t want to have automatic weapons, and that’s already illegal in this country to have automatic weapons. What I believe is we have to do,  as the president mentioned towards the end of his remarks there,  which is to make enormous efforts to enforce the gun laws that we have,  and to change the culture of violence that we have.

And you ask how — how are we going to do that? And there are a number of things. He mentioned good schools. I totally agree. We were able to drive our schools to be number one in the nation in my state. And I believe if we do a better job in education,  we’ll — we’ll give people the — the hope and opportunity they deserve and perhaps less violence from that. But let me mention another thing. And that is parents. We need moms and dads,  helping to raise kids. Wherever possible the — the benefit of having two parents in the home,  and that’s not always possible. A lot of great single moms,  single dads. But gosh to tell our kids that before they have babies,  they ought to think about getting married to someone,  that’s a great idea.

Why did Fox News have a mysterious gap like Richard Nixon did when he hated Jews and blacks and, yes, women back in Watergate? Is it because Fox News is engaged in the greatest, most bigoted campaign against the rest of America since the Southern Strategy?

Fox News attempted to cover up their coverup by adding the missing speech back in after the free speech martyrs at Reddit discovered it (Thanks, guys! Still not really sympathetic to your whole “taking sexual pictures of underage girls” thing, though!). Does that put this controversy to rest? No, it does not. Not nearly. Questions must be answered. People must be held accountable and/or thrown under the bus by Barry Obamz, if that’s an option.

People are talking. People are questioning. People demand answers.

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  • sbj1964

    They are not called the Facts network for a reason.Facts & Friends? No.

  • Terry

    Fox isn't even pretending to be real news anymore.

    • eggsacklywright

      I think we should start calling them Pravda.

      • I only carry Coach for this reason

        Oh, PraVda? My bad

      • doloras

        Pravda is now a lulzy tabloid. I think you men Völkischer Beobachter.

    • When did it?

    • bikerlaureate

      It's cheaper this way.

      Plus, they still get viewer-eyeballs and a seat in the White House Press Room, no matter how traitorious they behave…

    • Expecting journalism from FOX News is like expecting a good, quality, Swedish massage from Horny Helga's Massage Parlor downtown.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        And like Helga's, they deliver exactly what their customers do expect.

  • mrpuma2u

    Yeah, suck it single parents! Your kids will shoot a buncha people because you suck! No kid of a single parent will grow up to be President, oh wait, uh, er….

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Silly, it's only a problem if the single parents are poor and blah

      • mrpuma2u

        or messicans. or gay messicans. or lieberals.

      • BindrFullaBitch


        That is exactly how Romney got from guns to single mothers in one elegant barf.

        Criminality = Poor People = Children of Single Mothers = President Obama

        Clean work, Governor Romney.

  • PugglesRule

    Was the Faux "transcriber" named Rose Mary Woods?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I was going to make an "it was just lost in the Woods" comment, but thought that might be too obscure.

    • Barrelhse

      Rose Mary "Stretch" Woods?

      • PugglesRule

        Stretching to save her wretch of a boss.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Losing a chunk of audio in the middle of a digital file takes a bit more than an awkward "stretch".

  • kissawookiee

    If Fox had any sense at all they would have replaced Romney's entire output with a transcript of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

    • BadKitty904

      Sadly, that'd prolly garner him a few extra votes…

    • She endorsed the blah guy already. It's posted in Wonkville.

    • Nowisallthereis

      She could have suggested that he was a poodle.

  • PhilippePetain

    Strangely enough there was an audio gap when Mittens was giving details on his tax plan last night too.

    • RedneckMuslin


    • pepperpat

      An audio gap 18 months long?

    • They'll close that gap after the election.

    • GhostBuggy

      You guys! He's explained it! It's got five points!
      1. Drill.
      2. Make jobs.
      3. ?
      4. ?
      5. Shut up!

  • Lot_49

    Isn't it telling the way Romney always refers to Massachusetts as "my state" the same way he might say "my New Hampshire beachfront mansion" or "my La Jolla beachfront home with the proposed car elevator" or "my Deer Valley Utah ski lodge" or "my $100 million IRA"?

    • asterixaverni

      Funny, I thought Mittens was from the Caymans.

    • That's the great thing about having houses and property in every state. No matter what, that state can be your state!

    • It's his state every day of the year except April 15.

    • 1stNewtontheMoon

      or "my state [that has a 0.00% chance of carrying in my favor]?

    • mayor_quimby

      How does "my hood-adjacent home with the underwater mortgage, with just enough ghey and white neighbors to maintain what little property value is left" sound?
      Not quite the same, I guess.

  • 1stNewtontheMoon

    Managed to say he didn't like automatic weapons and undercut the argument against gay marriage in the same answer? or as it's known in the south, The Full Queer.

  • MissTaken

    What did the transcriber know, and when did he know it?

  • Schmannnity

    4 minute gap. $4 trillion tax cut gap. Death by a thousand nitpicks.

  • SorosBot

    Um, it kind of is legal to have automatic weapons ever since the Republican congress let the assault weapons ban expire.

    • Lot_49

      Assault weapons and automatic weapons are two different things. I won't foul the Wonkette atmosphere with the explanation, but basically one is a machine gun and the other is a short-barreled rifle you can convert into a machine gun with a 50-cent part.

      Sold separately, of course.

      • MosesInvests

        FWIW, in the Israel Defense Forces we never used our rifles (M-16 or Galil) on automatic fire. You can put out a devastating (and far more accurate) rate of fire with a semiautomatic assault rifle.

        • Lot_49

          But no orgasm, so, no fun at all.

          • MosesInvests

            My point was that semi-automatic assault rifles are just as dangerous as automatic rifles, if not more so. And civilians absolutely do *not* need that kind of firepower.

          • Bezoar

            Boy, do I agree with you about that. Probably the thing that most needs to be unavailable is the giant clips. Of course, those are pretty easy to make, so I suppose there's no point.

          • Lot_49

            Mine too, if made unclearly. The distinction between assault rifles and automatic rifles is almost more about styling than safety. Nonetheless some, may including Gore, claim he lost Tennessee and thus the 2000 election because of the ban.

  • edgydrifter

    But Fox probably added four minutes of fictional content wherein Obama pours a 40 of malt liquor on the floor "for his homies" and disparages "white devil bitchez," so it all balances out, right?

    • tessiee

      Photoshopped devil horns and background of flames, also too.

    • calliecallie

      Where those white devil bitches be at? Hillary? Nancy?

  • UW8316154

    I'm shocked, shocked I tell you! If they just pretend it didn't happen, then viola! it didn't happen. We are so completely doomed.

    • sullivanst

      Kinda like that Rose Garden speech on 9/12?

  • SexySmurf

    Mitt's right; if you have two parents and a wife, that's like three people you can hide behind when crazy drug dealers start shooting indiscriminately.

    • mrpuma2u

      Yes, kids with 2 parents are magically protected from stray drive by bullets….WTF?!?!!?!?

  • Callyson

    Of all the dumb ass things Mittens said last night, *this* is what they left out?

    Tricky Dick is looking down and laughing at the amateurs at FOX…

    • tessiee

      Don't you mean, Tricky Dick is looking UP?

      • Callyson

        I thought someone would catch that one……though one could argue that FOX News is in a deeper level of hell than Nixon, in which case he *would* be looking down…

  • orygoon

    fifh, hm?

  • Transparency: it blows chunks doesn't it, Füx.
    You're wearin your wishful thinking on your sleeve.

  • elviouslyqueer

    See, I was really hoping that Candy or an audience member would follow-up this totally boneheaded answer (really? Marriage and a two-parent family results in less violence? You gotta cite for that, asshole?) with a question about gay marriage.

    Really hoping.

    • SorosBot

      Strangely, the media has decided that social issues like gay marriage and abortion don't exist ever since it became clear that the right sides on the issues advocated by the Democrats were in fact actually popular.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      It's not really all that far-fetched. Stable marriages=stable neighborhoods=less violence. But I think there are a few missing, um nuances (education? intelligent drug policy? access to birth control? jerbs?)

    • FNMA

      I was kind of hoping that she would have followed up with, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

    • kingofmeh

      i suspect mitt's answer to gay marriage is gay self-deportation.

  • Exhausted66

    So all the Fox viewers who can and do read missed that?
    No biggie.

    • walterhwhite

      There are Fox viewers who read?

    • pepperpat

      Yes, but I doubt those four people are going to have much impact on the final vote count.

  • memzilla

    I think the passage was edited out so as not to give the NRA any ammunition to use against Mittens.

    • MosesInvests


    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Like his signing and supporting a permanent "assault weapons" ban in MA? That apparently is lost to the mists of time.

    • tessiee

      Only in Fox universe can being against assault weapons make a candidate look bad.

    • Guns don't kill people. Ammunition kills people.

  • Whatever Fox does that brings attention to the slimy way that Mitts tried not to offend the most insane NRA-phies is fine.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Fux, sux.

  • FNMA

    We've always been at war with Eastasia.

    • tessiee

      We've always been FRIENDS with Eastasia!
      *throws sissy punch, misses*

  • gullywompr

    I think Fox's snake oil has gone rancid. Get the tar and feathers.

  • freakishlywrong

    But did Barry say "Terr'ist attack" or "Akts of Terrism" in the Rose Garden? Wingnut fuckers need to know!

    • MissTaken

      They are NOT the same! One has the word 'of' and the other don't. See?! Totally different!

  • freakishlywrong

    But gosh to tell our kids that before they have babies, they ought to think about getting married to someone, that’s a great idea.
    And if they can't work it out, weeellll, there's always "Second Amendment Solutions".

    • wondering where i am

      So if they have the baby and then shoot it, it is legal because they were standing their ground?

  • mavenmaven

    Romney/Ryan's whole economic plan is a silent 18 minutes.

    • Rotundo_

      Followed by a quietly muttered "And then Magic! happens"…

  • Boojum

    I would like to see much stronger anti-trust laws on the media. The whole "we own the message" thing from Fox shows how dangerous this is. I would rather have lots and lots of little newspapers and TV and radio outlets than these conglomerates.

  • "But gosh… by golly… gee whiz… "

    Mitt is Eddie Haskell.

    • edgydrifter

      This is so true in so many ways. Smarmy, scheming, duplicitous, disingenuous and conniving–he's one "my what a lovely dress, America" away from having to legally change his name.

      • tessiee

        The worst part is that Ward and June never seem to catch on.

    • BadKitty904

      A (more) *EVIL* Eddie Haskell.

    • Estproph

      Haskell/Munster 2012!

      • PugglesRule

        THAT is a terrifying concept.

  • Fox tried to sneak in "Where all the white wimmens at" from the President but that got one caught before it was sent out.

    • pepperpat

      Romney has all the binders of white wimmens.

    • no_gravity

      'scuse me while I whip this out.

  • snowpointsecret

    See, they really were watching a different debate than we were!

  • Schmannnity

    I'm sure Kilmeade will get to the bottom of this.

    • He's already there, so it should be easy for him.

      • bikerlaureate

        He's well-paid for overriding any last trace of integrity.
        Maybe you're just jealous.

    • I imagine he's got a bunch of bottoms to choose from.

  • OneDollarJuana

    Nope, semi-automatic weapons were banned. Fully-automatic weapons (machine guns), have been generally banned since 1934.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Unless you can pass a pretty meh background check and send $200 to the Feds. Then you can own fully-automatic weapons, suppressors (silencers), sawed-off shotguns, etc…

      And, semi-autos were never banned. I could own a semi-auto handgun or rifle, but was limited on how many rounds the magazine holds. Hell, I've got a Ruger .22 semi that was built during the Clinton admin.

      • Heck with that, it's even easier. You can buy Uzis off the shelf, no license, no registration, with a plugged barrel.

        Problem is, the barrels screws in on an Uzi, and you can buy UNplugged barrels without a second look. You just can't buy them at the same time.

        Yes. It's that stupid.

    • tessiee

      "Fully-automatic weapons (machine guns), have been generally banned since 1934. "

      *dejectedly puts violin case away in attic*

    • sullivanst

      Actually, not 100% accurate.

      Fully-auto weapons were tightly regulated and heavily (at that time) taxed in 1934 (the tax never went up from $200), but still legal to own if you jumped through all the hoops until 1986. Fully auto guns manufactured prior to 1986 are still legal to own, but obviously are in limited supply and thus prohibitively expensive for most people, and you still have to submit to the ATF for fingerprinting and background checks and get your CLEO's signature, and pay that $200 transfer tax.

      At least, that's the status of Federal law. States may enact tighter regulations, although from the look of wikipedia, most have not.

  • Goonemeritus

    I think it is obvious that his positions in those two paragraphs will destroy his chances with the key Republican demographic. I of course am speaking about automatic weapon owning unwed fathers who hate schooling.

    • GeorgiaBurning

      That's about 22% of his base around here, admittedly the bluest spot in California.

    • That IS about 25% of Arizona.

    • tessiee

      "the key Republican demographic. I of course am speaking about automatic weapon owning unwed fathers who hate schooling."

      Modify that to, "WHITE automatic weapon owning unwed fathers who hate schoolin' and booklearnin'", and it actually IS a key Republican demographic in several states.

  • FakaktaSouth

    If they wanted to make Romney's performance sound better, they'd have to Watergate the whole debate and then Waterboard Candy Crowley til she stopped factchecking his ass.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Crazy like a Fox.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    If they cut out all of the stupid it would have been a 2 minute 50 second debate.

  • Detesticle

    Fox News — the nattering nabobs of negativism

    • One of Pat Buchanan's greatest hits.

      • MosesInvests

        William Safire libel!

    • Mittaplasia

      Spiro Agnew libel, you pusillanimous pussyfooters!

  • vulpes82

    And the point of the editing was? Of all the things to edit out of the transcript, they pick THAT? And it's not like there aren't ten million other transcripts, not to mention the ACTUAL VIDEO. What a waste of a shadowy conspiracy's time.

    • Video doesn't matter to people who want to change the truth. There's video of the Rose Garden speech shown on TV four times a day and they're still claiming the president didn't reference a terrorist attack.

      • MosesInvests

        Ah, but he said "terrorist acts", not "terrorist attack". Completely different.

  • Tommy1733

    Romney will have an even worse four minutes when he gives his concession speech.

    • FakaktaSouth

      Shit, those would be the best 4 minutes of his career and my favorite four minutes of watching him. Suck it Mitt, just so hard til you choke.

    • I'm looking forward to his call for Mormon jihad. Grace in defeat has never been his strong suit.

    • I'm looking forward to four minutes of watching the fury on Mrs. Mitt's face. YOU PEOPLE!!!

      • tessiee

        Agreed, but she always looks like that anyway.

    • Tommy1733

      Personally I am eagerly looking forward to the deep disappointment that will be felt by all the rich fucks who thought they could buy the election. They are probably all really concerned about their investment at this point. It would send a good message to future political campaigns.

      • tessiee

        "Personally I am eagerly looking forward to the deep disappointment that will be felt by all the rich fucks who thought they could buy the election."

        Also the DERP disappointment that will be felt by all the dumb shits who think Obama is a socialist who will take away their guns, because Hannity or some other fuck told them so.

    • Gleem McShineys

      I want to see the weird sons scrunching up their sorrow filled faces much like the famous Santorum-daughter picture.

    • GhostBuggy

      I think you mean, "when he announces his 2016 candidacy."

      • doloras

        OH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. Romney/Biden or Romney/Hillz debates? SO sweet.

  • magic_titty

    The transcript also showed Obama's remarks in boldface, italicized, and ALL CAPS. Probably.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      Probably printed in BLACK, also, too.

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    There's a cancer on the FNC. And it's growing.

    [too obscure?]

    • Crank_Tango

      We're gonna need a bigger reference.

    • Not at all, Mr. Dean.

    • eggsacklywright

      Would you like to metasta-size that?

    • AddHomonym

      That statement is no longer operative.

  • Beach_Bubba_Tex

    Well. Have you considered the possibility of a MIRACLE here? Isn't this direct evidence of God's benevolent mind screaming "enough of this moron… he lost me with Mr. Coal… I'm Mr. Coal, dammit"

    • tessiee

      Romney is Mr. Gas.

  • Esteev

    LOL! As if the Fox News audience is going to read the transcripts. That's hysterical.

    • Rotundo_

      Too busy yelling at kids to get off the lawn and bitching at the wife and/or hired (illegal immigrant) help about getting a change on their depends.

  • For all the years he's been wearing his "Presidential hopeful" banner, Romney still just sounds only as invested in and as well educated on the subject, and practiced in the art of leadership and communication as the robber baron he really is, one derp'ing from inside his uninformed, cocoon'd asshole.
    Trump knows less about the office or his constituents and could've scored more points. Mitt's just a bullshit artist with all the BS and none of the artistry. That's never been truer than when an outlet like FOX, by extension, is made to appear honest in its caprice — for in 'leaving out' significant footage they're acknowledging their candidate's weakness.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    What are his schools number one in?

    Queer homo floggings?
    Eraser dusting?
    Teachers pregnant by students?
    Deathmatch Football?

    I mean, Mississippi schools are number one in a shitload of things they never talk about in public…

    • My state is Number One in Parent-Teacher Meth Consumption!

      Well … at least number one in the 48 contiguous states … Alaska might have Arizona beat on that one.

    • tessiee

      yeah, like Fight Club.

  • Crank_Tango

    Surely he meant we DO need full auto to take out the teachers' unions so that we can all homeskoal our childrens like baby jesus intended.

    • Replying to say, I just needed to thank you for "homeskoal" before I steal it you edit/ correct it.

  • FOX is gonna need a bigger Etch-a-Sketch.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    This brings up the whole larger IOKIYAR issue. My RW friends are all FREAKING THE FUCK OUT over Obama's hint about the assault weapons ban (if you could not guess, I shoot, and most of my friends are single-issue voters). Whenever I point out Mitten's signature on a 2004 Massachusetts PERMANENT weapons ban, they are either convinced that I'm mistaken, or mutter something about "well, he was in a LIEBERAL state and has seen the error…" One friend even said something about the NRA taking him "to the woodshed." Personally, I think the Ban was bad legislation, and it won't get signed no matter who is Prez, but this disconnect about R-Money's past will be studied for decades.

    • I don't get it. He was wrong. Assault weapons ban expired. He doesn't know that, or seems not to. Isn't that the takeaway?

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        It expired on a Federal level. Mittens created a similar state law which continued the ban statewide. The NRA-endorsed candidate has enacted actual gun-ban legislation, while the vilified Black guy has not.

  • MinAgain

    "People are dumb, pankicy, dangerous animals, and you know it."

    • BadKitty904

      Ha! I've been *waiting* for that quote to come up, in re: this campaign!

    • Stevola

      Just use the flashy thing and they'll forget what they just saw.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Is Fox News saying single moms don't cause gun violence?

  • Schmannnity

    Who needs transcripts when Rush and Sean can tell them what they said?

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    I cannot stomach a president who says "gosh." What, is he 6?

    • Another Eddie Haskell moment. "Gosh, Mrs. Cleaver."

    • Fare la Volpe

      Worse: Mormon.

  • e_z

    This morning the dolts on Fox and Friends played a clip of the 'terror act' section of the debate. When Barry asked Candy to "say that a little louder" after she completed the harpooning of Romney, something was missing.

    The audio of the crowd laughing.

    No doubt just a technical failure.

  • Radiotherapy

    Deep Throat was Romney sucking a big fat NRA cock.

  • Kid_Charlemagne

    Yet, they left the part in where Mitt declared his love of "wind jobs."

    • Megyn Kelly needs some fantasy sexy time with Rmoney.

  • cousinitt

    The missing four minutes were found in a carrier box on top of Mitt's station wagon.

  • You know, if there was a reporter at FOX, they could get to the bottom of this.

  • anniegetyerfun

    Actually, I have no idea why Fox would cut that out. It sounds exactly like the kind of thing they like to say.

  • pdiddycornchips

    Obviously there was a mistake by the person doing the transcript. This is unacceptable. Time to release another woman from the Fox Binder.

  • GregComlish

    Why won't Romney give mothers the support of fullly automatic weaponry in these uncertain times?

  • Fox usually hires it's own transcribblers.

  • tessiee

    "People are talking. People are questioning. People demand answers."

    And without looking around, Romney will level them with a backhand slap, and a, "SILENCE, PEASANT!".
    Problem solved.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      He would never deign to touch teh poorz. He'll have one of his hired goons do it for him. Or maybe Tagg.

  • LibrarianX

    Still adorable: how Fox keeps using the word "News."

  • DahBoner

    Fox News Viewers: Watergate does not bother me, does your cous cous bother you?

  • James Michael Curley

    When we heard that response from the MittPositionOfTheDay audio file I turned to Mrs. Curley and told her, "You're a Mom, go out to South Orange in Newark and slap those Crips silly until they give you their AK-47's"

  • Slow like a Faux.

    The major problem with the US Amercia right wing as it is formed today is that a large number of them are addle minded cry baby imbeciles in fatso sized track pants. They'd actively pretend bad things don't happen and try to alter actual facts rather than actually look within and figure out who they actually are.

  • Antispandex

    They could have just left it in. Something tells me their audience isn't composed of readers anyway.

  • glamourdammerung

    Pathetic. Even for Fox "news".

  • carlgt1

    just one correction – there's no 'since the Southern Strategy' – the RepugliKKKans have always been about the Southern Strategy and utilized it from at least Nixon on up!

  • docterry6973

    Could have been worse. They could have said it was Obama's answer.

    Those people who only watch Faux News get dumber by the hour, and I think it is bad for the entire country. I didn't used to be this easy to lie about easily verifiable facts, but the Ailes noise machine works day and night to make lying into a valid strategy for governing.

  • mbobier

    Yes, they ought to think about getting married to someone! Not anyone in particular, mind you — just someone. Anyone. As long as it's not a same-sex someone, of course.

  • ttommyunger

    Just write off Faux and anyone that can stomach watching it. They are a lost cause and always will be. I can now safely crow that I was correct about Barry's Rope-a-Dope strategy. Their final Debate is coming up Monday in Fla. I expect Mitt to actually lose it on camera (Live) as a result of Barry's wit, skill and lack of mercy. Anyone who thinks Barry isn't tough should try growing up half-black with a white single-parent mother. They should picture themselves volunteering to work in South Side Chi-a half breed not accepted as fully black or fully white- long hours, dangerous to the Nth degree and very low pay. More guts than I've ever had….My hat is off to him and I hope he cuts that bitch seven ways from Sunday next week.

  • Transcripts are for commies!

  • ChicagoLory

    I used to edit transcriptions for a company that did/does Fox. The missing audio feed could have been an error on the transcription company. Dont know.

    I wouldnt doubt it if Romney was making inferences to Obama's mother. I really liked the dig from Obama about, perhaps, Bain.

  • BindrFullaBitch

    Oh yeah.

    How the fuck do you get from assault weapons to slutty slutty hos without anyone noticing you're fucking nuts until after the end part about the hos is over?

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