BARF  12:00 pm October 17, 2012

We Are Sure Mitt Romney’s Lady-Binders Are Nothing Like Outlaw Mormon Sect ‘Joy Books,’ Because That Would Be Gross

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

happy happy joy barf
We are sure we will eventually get around to the many, many, many fumbles and bizarrities of Ol’ Miffed Romney’s trip to Knockout Town last night, maybe, if anyone shows up to work today, but of course all any of you want to know about is the BINDERS. (Unless you are Tucker Carlson or Mickey Kaus, and then you want to know why stupid Candy Crowley thinks “act of terror” and “terrorist act” are the same thing, stupid Candy Crowley.) The women! They are IN THE BINDERS! Will no one free them from their three-ring Trapper Keeper hells?!

You doubtless already know since it’s gotten like 125,723 million visits already, but our Boston buddy David S. Bernstein (who was not the Boston buddy we dropped the acid with) has thoroughly debunked Sad Miffed’s attempt to paint himself as Square-Jawed Romance Novel Hero Miffed, Good and Noble Hirer of Ladies For Jobs With Flex-Time and Stuff. It is sad, his credit-taking attempts, though really much less of a revisionist history than claiming he was bipartisan in Mass because he had to work with a Democratic legislature (who overrode his 800 vetoes 707 times, not kidding), and so much less of a blatant lie as most words that ooze from his mouthhole.

Here, let us steal much of Bernstein’s post, we are sure he doesn’t mind:

And I — and I went to my staff, and I said, “How come all the people for these jobs are — are all men.” They said, “Well, these are the people that have the qualifications.” And I said, “Well, gosh, can’t we — can’t we find some — some women that are also qualified?”

And — and so we — we took a concerted effort to go out and find women who had backgrounds that could be qualified to become members of our cabinet.

I went to a number of women’s groups and said, “Can you help us find folks,” and they brought us whole binders full of women.

I was proud of the fact that after I staffed my Cabinet and my senior staff, that the University of New York in Albany did a survey of all 50 states, and concluded that mine had more women in senior leadership positions than any other state in America.

Now one of the reasons I was able to get so many good women to be part of that team was because of our recruiting effort.

Not a true story.

What actually happened was that in 2002 — prior to the election, not even knowing yet whether it would be a Republican or Democratic administration — a bipartisan group of women in Massachusetts formed MassGAP to address the problem of few women in senior leadership positions in state government. There were more than 40 organizations involved with the Massachusetts Women’s Political Caucus (also bipartisan) as the lead sponsor.

They did the research and put together the binder full of women qualified for all the different cabinet positions, agency heads, and authorities and commissions. They presented this binder to Governor Romney when he was elected.

So yeah, Romney didn’t actually care probably, and wasn’t that much of a romance novel hero really (except for that time he heroically helped another rich dude tie up his yacht), and somehow hadn’t been concerned by the missing vag all those years he was ruining running all those companies.

So yeah we got all the way to the end of this post without actually talking about the “Joy Books” in the title, because “Joy Books” make us feel sad and gross. And it’s not like Mitt Romney ever availed himself of “joy” — he is married to Egg Romney, for pete’s sake!

[Photo from Jezebel / Phoenix]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 241 comments }

iburl October 17, 2012 at 12:02 pm

This 50 Shades of Grey crap has gone too far. Binders?

UnholyMoses October 17, 2012 at 12:12 pm

"50 Shades of Gray" is for people who know nothing at all about S&M but want to feel as though they do.

Not that I know about it, but … um … a friend does … so …

actor212 October 17, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Oh, I got about a chapter in and realized that the accessories were–

Um, that is, it was pointed out to me…

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 1:03 pm

The fact that Mittens and Bat Boy have even one person who wants to vote for them meets my requirement for Sadism *and* Masochism, thank you.

Oblios_Cap October 17, 2012 at 12:03 pm

I don't think that Willard is capable of telling the truth.

I do want to know more about the Joy Books, though.

MissTaken October 17, 2012 at 12:05 pm

I do want to know more about the Joy Books, though.

no, really, you don't.

SorosBot October 17, 2012 at 12:13 pm

And considering that you somehow managed to force yourself through the entire Twilight series, you know bad Mormon literature.

MissTaken October 17, 2012 at 12:17 pm

I learned about Joy Books thanks to Big Love. Sears catalog for old men to pick out their next wife from the crop of pubescent girls. Creepy and disgusting.

SorosBot October 17, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Urgh; what the fuck is that? I haven't heard of Joy Books before and now am kind of scared to google it. But I am already creeped out.

BadKitty904 October 17, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Seriously???

kissawookiee October 17, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I keep telling myself that those backs-of-the-knees pictures are simply for the purposes of monitoring ACL health for aspiring basketball players. And it keeps not working.

Mumbletypeg October 17, 2012 at 12:03 pm

It's a new nickname opportunity for Mittens. Milo Mind-her-binder.

actor212 October 17, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Wasn't she a Garbage Pail Kid?

gurukalehuru October 17, 2012 at 12:07 pm

I'm just calling him Binder Boy from now on.

Mumbletypeg October 17, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Balloon Boy wept.

Y'all don't think I'm serious. Romney should work this into his campaign, stat. It has way more cadence when using it thusly: "This is a job for… Mi-lo Mind-her-Bind-her!"

eggsacklywright October 17, 2012 at 12:10 pm

I had no idea the Mormonics were into bondage. Huh.

mrblifil October 17, 2012 at 12:24 pm

"Find 'er, unwind 'er, send her to the Binder Minder. He'll wine and dine 'er. Then grind 'er. It's kinder."

Doktor Zoom October 17, 2012 at 12:25 pm

I see everything twice!

(it had to be said)

weejee October 17, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Hence 22

MosesInvests October 17, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Everyone gets a share!

OzoneTom October 17, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Plus, the number of women in high positions of the Rmoney administration actually decreased relative to the previous — and those who were appointed were to posts that the Governor felt were unimportant.

RedneckMuslin October 17, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Well, they had to get home to cook dinner.

(He actually kind of really said that)

BerkeleyBear October 17, 2012 at 12:32 pm

No – he absolutely really said that. He played a triple misogynist score in that one answer – 1) there were no qualified women that could be identified without affirmative action on his part (poor little dears), 2) you have to be flexible when working with women because they can't work until 7 or 8 because they need to get home to 3) cook dinner and spend time with their families. Poor little dears, they can't get a good job without the help of a man, and their little hearts make them actually care about their kids and spouses. I swear I was waiting for a menstruation joke in there, and he probably says it behind closed doors.

Lascauxcaveman October 17, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Yeah, the sheer tone-deafness of that answer really dropped my jaw. And this is after preparing for this debate all weekend.

Incitefully_Joe October 17, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Honestly, leving aside the underlying condesension and misogyny for a second, I just thought it was astounding that he was talking up Affirmative Action and Flextime as Brilliant New Innovations To Deal With This Problem of Women In The Workforce, which nobody had ever heard of before.

You know, just in case you were worried it was only Romney's Foreign Policy positions that were stuck in the early 1980's.

UW8316154 October 17, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Oh you know he does! But it wouldn't be a joke, it would be in low, serious, hushed tones "and you know, during that time of the month, they can't work and certainly their *hormones* are out of kilter. It's best for everyone if they stay home."

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 17, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Mittens: "And then, you know, once a month they can't work for 3 days. So there's that. Aheh heh heh.."

ChillBill October 17, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Mitt has binders full of pictures of himself, photoshopped in the Oval Office.

Mittaplasia October 17, 2012 at 12:42 pm

He has plenty of houses but he will never reside in the one he covets the most.

Schmannnity October 17, 2012 at 12:05 pm

I thought women binders were how geishas kept their feet so small.

Lucidamente1 October 17, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Mitt is into bindage. His safe word is "Staples."

mille derps October 17, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Isn't that Scott Brown's code name?

Ruhe October 17, 2012 at 12:42 pm

That was easy.

emmelemm October 17, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Ooooh. That's good.

Chet Kincaid_ October 17, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Still funny today!

Lucidamente1 October 17, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Thanks for noticing! Fuel-efficient snark.

NellCote71 October 17, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Recycled snark.

Chet Kincaid_ October 17, 2012 at 1:34 pm

The jobs of tomorrow are in Clean Snark! No they're not.

WhatTheHeck October 17, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Saaayy, that's a big ring you have on your Binder, there.

mille derps October 17, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Hubba hubba!

RedneckMuslin October 17, 2012 at 12:05 pm

He got his binders mixed up. He looked thru his Russian mail order bride binders for qualified ladies.

no_gravity October 17, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Lady binders are what the Mormons use to keep tract of their sister wives fantasy leagues.

johnnyzhivago October 17, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Mitt is confusing this binder with Tagg's bound set of "Juggs" magazines he kept in that basement apartment he used as his legal address.

mille derps October 17, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Didn't 'Jugs' do a special issue on Fishbird nipples?

widestanceromance October 17, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Affirmatively act much, Willard?

actor212 October 17, 2012 at 12:06 pm

It puts the binder on its skin…

CindynEncinitas October 17, 2012 at 4:24 pm

You know that Mittens is, for sure, always the bindee…

Negropolis October 18, 2012 at 1:22 am

…or else they are all hoes again.

ChrisM2011 October 17, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Off topic: Anyone see Romney's son in the audience with his killer cyborg stare? He looked like he was scanning the room for Sarah Conners…

T3rbo October 17, 2012 at 12:21 pm

which son, the one that looks like he got all of the leftover genetic material?

actor212 October 17, 2012 at 12:29 pm

"We use him to clean the septic tank"

ChrisM2011 October 17, 2012 at 12:35 pm
freakishlywrong October 17, 2012 at 12:39 pm

That is terrifying. Christian Bale in American Psycho.

weejee October 17, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Wonder if he's a Normie Bates kinda guy whos dresses up like his momma?

Monsieur_Grumpe October 17, 2012 at 1:01 pm

He's not right in head.

UW8316154 October 17, 2012 at 1:10 pm

The loathing is pouring off him. What's that pinkish thing next to him?

Incitefully_Joe October 17, 2012 at 12:49 pm

All we need now is a Total Recall reference, and we'll have hit the Schwarzenegger trifecta!

BadKitty904 October 17, 2012 at 12:52 pm

OT – Tuck, Tit, Toot, and the rest of the Romney boys at play:
http://gawker.com/5952518/german-speedo+wearing-g

FakaktaSouth October 17, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Now not only did he not give a dick about hiring women, he was taking credit for a JOB a group of women actually DID? I'm not shocked, but good Christ. I want crash and burn. I want it now.

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 1:11 pm

"he was taking credit for a JOB a group of women actually DID?"

Like washing dishes?

ttommyunger October 17, 2012 at 7:08 pm

Patience, my dear; Monday Night is just around the corner. Mittens will be wrung out and hung up to dry, I have no doubt.

WhatTheHeck October 17, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Binders allow Mitt to flip more easily.

Cleopatriot October 17, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Last night the POTUS seemed to understand that he was debating someone who was unbound by mere truth.

BadKitty904 October 17, 2012 at 12:10 pm

"Meanwhile, back on Earth…"

Ducksworthy October 17, 2012 at 12:21 pm

This has been a difficult but critical perception for the Preznit to acheive. Democrats often are put a disadvantage when they fail to accept that they are dealing with knaves, fools and traitors.

bikerlaureate October 17, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Doing or saying anything to win requires a few (hundred) facts to be violated.

"Respectable" people who support him are turning a blind eye to his dishonesty because they want to turn a blind eye.
Ain't that Amercia?

emmelemm October 17, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Home of the free…

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 1:13 pm

I have too many favorite moments to list, but I did enjoy:

"Please continue, Governor"

with that icy glare.

Chet Kincaid_ October 17, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Yes, that was awesome.

Nothingisamiss October 17, 2012 at 1:35 pm

O/T. You were right about me freaking out too early last night. If I wasn't hung over I'd find the orginal comment and respond to you there. I seem to be a little high strung. Comes from living in the south as a demoncrat.

Gleem McShineys October 17, 2012 at 1:27 pm

"You're really helping yourself. Go on, keep doing that, Governor."

Negropolis October 18, 2012 at 1:25 am

This is how I'm going to start addressing people in heated arguments. lol

proudgrampa October 17, 2012 at 1:21 pm

HAHAHA

Truth? I don' got to tell you the stinkin' truth!!!

walterhwhite October 17, 2012 at 1:24 pm

And by the way, one of the rules of the debate, agreed to by both candidates, was that the candidates would not confront each other directly. That lasted about 10 seconds in Mitt's case. Romney/Ryan: "Rules are for the 47%."

Pragmatist2 October 17, 2012 at 12:07 pm

And, even with all this help, he only had 25% women in his cabinet. He could have done better picking names at random from the phone book. Would have saved on binders.

SorosBot October 17, 2012 at 12:15 pm

And the number of women was less than the previous administration. He also lead Massachusetts to being #47 in job growth, yet bragged about creating jobs as governor last night. It's almost like he's a congenital liar or something…

pepperpat October 17, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Was that before or after he kept trying to butt in with "Government doesn't create jobs! Government doesn't create jobs!" while Obama was speaking? I got distracted by Bill Maher's Facebook updates.

Joshua Norton October 17, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Nice try Mittens. Yeah, funny thing about actively working against female empowerment and labeling all who do feminists, lesbians, and communists. Turns out, you end up ceding all the heroes to the other side when your side loses the culture battle like the chumps you are.

Want some female role models for conservatism? You’ll have to actually allow a woman to succeed and be praise-worthy and do something that inspires young women to achieve, and yeah, no, Sarah Palin so doesn’t count.

Ducksworthy October 17, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Oh Snap!

elviouslyqueer October 17, 2012 at 12:08 pm

And here I thought "Joy Books" was some kind of secret code for hot librarian porn.

FakaktaSouth October 17, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Hell, I thought they had something to do with cooking. Now at least I know why I keep getting all these burns everywhere. Trying to bake while bound is a bitch.

Incitefully_Joe October 17, 2012 at 12:40 pm

I thought the secret code for that was "tumblr".

MosesInvests October 17, 2012 at 12:49 pm

*Googling "hot librarian porn"*-ok, brb.

johnnyzhivago October 17, 2012 at 12:08 pm

The even better remark I thought I heard was:

"I'm going to create so many jobs that employers will EVEN HAVE TO HIRE WOMEN TO FILL THEM".

I assume this is building Liberty Ships to recreate the 1922 Navy Fleet???

MissTaken October 17, 2012 at 12:14 pm

That's exactly how I heard that fucking shit.

Hey Mitt! I'm a woman with a binder full of educational and professional achievements, yet I still only make about 80% of my male counterparts who have much smaller binders that are not as neatly organized. Fuck you.

bikerlaureate October 17, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Well, obviously the demand for jobs isn't high enough, and tax cuts will fix that so you're more attractive to employers and they have to pay you more.

Ow, I just pulled a muscle in my brain…

calliecallie October 17, 2012 at 12:44 pm

He actually said that? I am appalled, and simultaneously glad. Keep up the good work, Brownie, I mean Mitt.

Nothingisamiss October 17, 2012 at 1:36 pm

I do wonder if this remark will get any play. I yelled when I heard that. "Wtf did he just say?"

Pragmatist2 October 17, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Ooops! He meant "blinders" for Rafalca.

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 12:56 pm

And for the electorate, I dare say.

actor212 October 17, 2012 at 12:09 pm
Doktor Zoom October 17, 2012 at 12:30 pm
actor212 October 17, 2012 at 12:35 pm

That was special, yes.

Chet Kincaid_ October 17, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Yes, the Libya Round! I miss Cosell.

MissTaken October 17, 2012 at 12:10 pm

And with this binder full of women he still had settle for a woman who needed to go home by 5 to cook dinner for her family. Poor Mitt!

weejee October 17, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Well obvs a binder can't make a sammich.

bikerlaureate October 17, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Apparently his expectations for his "Chief of Staff" weren't very similar to those required of Leo McGarry or C.J. Craig.

Hera Sent Me October 17, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Just like Paul Ryan stole Kurt Cobain's story about seeing his unborn child in an ultrasound, seeing she looked like a bean, and naming her Frances BEAN.

The problem is these guys don't really have normal feelings, like believing it's immoral to deny women equal rights, so they have to look around for other people who do to imitate.

There's a word for people who don't have normal feelings and so have to fake them in order to work their way into positions they can then exploit. It rhymes with "osteopath".

actor212 October 17, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Mosh-eo-pith?

mavenmaven October 17, 2012 at 12:27 pm

homeopath?

actor212 October 17, 2012 at 12:35 pm

I don't think he's gay.

BadKitty904 October 17, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Hey, now…

FNMA October 17, 2012 at 12:35 pm

It's not a lie if you believe it.

– George Costanza

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 1:30 pm

"Narcissist"?

Mumbletypeg October 17, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Mitt's story has more holes than a three-ring [__redacted] and his credibility took about as many punches, too.

GunToting[Redacted] October 17, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Mitt's story has more holes than the Albert Hall.

ahnc October 17, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Mitt has binders of women, dog on the roof, Big Bird in the oven and yes, he should be president — president of Etch-a-Sketch, perhaps.

actor212 October 17, 2012 at 12:13 pm

This sounds like a country song

Mumbletypeg October 17, 2012 at 12:22 pm

I thought it sounded like a retweet.

*looks around*..

Nah. She's not here.

CindynEncinitas October 17, 2012 at 4:28 pm

President of sheeple.

whyyoubuggin October 17, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Flex time is for women who want to ovulate at home.

BadKitty904 October 17, 2012 at 12:11 pm

I've sometimes wondered what heterosexual men do in their spare time. Now that I've seen that pic – dang…just dang…

actor212 October 17, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Hey, don't hate the playahs, hate the game.

Chet Kincaid_ October 17, 2012 at 1:02 pm

We do what gay men do in their spare time: masturbate.

memzilla October 17, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Shorter Mittens' soundbite: "Massachusetts was Binderpalooza!"

freakishlywrong October 17, 2012 at 12:12 pm

He meant "bindles". Bindles for you people.

Goonemeritus October 17, 2012 at 12:12 pm

His comment was judged partially true because there were women living in Massachusetts during his administration.

edgydrifter October 17, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Shorter Mitt on gender pay equality: "In my economic plan, employers will be so desperate for workers they'll even hire women!"

Doesn't answer the question and manages to be be insulting at the same time. FTW!

SayItWithWookies October 17, 2012 at 12:28 pm

That's because so many potential workers will be spending all their time in Iran, but let's not worry about the details just yet.

BadKitty904 October 17, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Or shipped off to the spice mines of Kessel…

bikerlaureate October 17, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Forty-something percent of the likely voters don't need details yet. They trust Mistuh Romney to do the right thing by them, and besides he was trying to be warmer and more empathetic last night.

He'll tell us "you people" what he chooses to tell us – after the election. Stop being such an elitist poindexter.

gullywompr October 17, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Yeah, it's the return of Rosie the Riveter.

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 1:29 pm

"In my economic plan, employers will be so desperate for workers they'll even hire women!"

"No, that's not what I meant. What I meant was, women are illegal immigrants! No, wait… that's not right, either…"

prommie October 17, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Rebecca thank God I have been waiting all morning, unfairly maligning every post simply because I could not wait for you to commence your debate takeway snark, and YES, the Mittens and his binder story, my God this man is clearly not connected with reality. I mean I don't think he knows he is lying, I think he truly does perceive the world in his own especial way; his own especially narcissistic way. I read The Psychopath Test last year, the book which tells of the author's project to go around giving a psychological evaluation test designed to tell whether someone has psychopathic tendencies to various corporate bigfucks. The premise of course being that to succeed like a Mitt Romney you actually do have to be a John Wayne Gacy level psychopath, and it turns out its fucking true. Fucking Mittens even looks like Ted Bundy, same smile for sure, same glib charm. I am sure in his mind, this fuck really thinks he did make an effort to promote women on principle, and not for political expediency, too. Because he is fucking INSANE, criminally insane. At the very least, History's Greatest Asshole, anyway.

Mumbletypeg October 17, 2012 at 12:19 pm

oh now you stop the maligning? Brother — see up above there, the photo credit says "JEZEBEL" zomg!1!

(sorry, couldn't resist~)

prommie October 17, 2012 at 12:35 pm

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds, I once heard.

Mumbletypeg October 17, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Ralph Waldo Etch-a-Sketch?

proudgrampa October 17, 2012 at 12:37 pm

"my God this man is clearly not connected with reality"

Lying liars lie.

Again, it's the Mormon psychology: these are (supposedly) contemporary people who believe in "golden tablets," "magic underwear," "oracles from hats."

SorosBot October 17, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Now, be fair; it's the CEO psychology that elevates lying to a virtue.

BadKitty904 October 17, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Isn't that last bit from "Harry Potter"?

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 1:32 pm

*raises hand hesitantly*
I…
I would like a magic hat, please.

pdiddycornchips October 17, 2012 at 1:11 pm

"The premise of course being that to succeed like a Mitt Romney you actually do have to be a John Wayne Gacy level psychopath, and it turns out its fucking true"

Mitt was born rich. Not only that, but between his father's connections and the connections he made to other sons of privilege at boarding school and college, it's really no surprise at all that he was able to raise money and start an investment fund. He made some good investments but let's not pretend that makes him visionary. He has taken advantage of the advantages given to him at birth. That's all.

As for his policies, there are none really. He simply says what he thinks the audience in front of him wants to hear. Running for Mass Governor, he was pro choice and anti coal. Running for President as a Republican, he is the polar opposite of those two positions. He dismisses 47% of the country one day and the next he's for 100% of us. Logic dictates that we judge these flip flops for what they would appear to be. Naked attempts at fooling enough morons into voting for him. The question is, will it work. Are there enough morons out there who will be swayed by transparent bullshit. It's not an easy call. Hopefully he'll come up a little short but we all know there are enough idiots to make it a close race.

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 1:34 pm

"between his father's connections and the connections he made to other sons of privilege at boarding school and college, it's really no surprise at all that he was able to raise money and start an investment fund. He made some good investments but let's not pretend that makes him visionary."

There's a minor character in one of my favorite books, Marjorie Morningstar, who couldn't get any of his business ventures off the ground, and explains it by saying, "Executed on the scale of thousands, they would have made millions. Executed on the scale of hundreds, they lost the hundreds."

Chet Kincaid_ October 17, 2012 at 1:45 pm

My goodness, I can't remember if I actually read that one — I think I may have, in the dim, teenage mists of the '70s when I read Wouk's WWII books and The Caine Mutiny for sure. Wonkette is just a nostalgia-fest lately.

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 1:55 pm

I discovered that book as a teenager, and now I re-read it just about every year — not because it's great literature, but because it (along with Catcher in the Rye) is a nostalgic reminder of my teenage years in the NYC area.

CindynEncinitas October 17, 2012 at 4:37 pm

I read "Candide" yesterday while I was waiting for my car to get a new tire!

CindynEncinitas October 17, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I don't think he even has to work that hard. All he has to do for a lot of folks is stand there and be what they're used to seeing in the "White" House.

Nothingisamiss October 17, 2012 at 1:38 pm

AMEN! Shouted all the people!

My_pal_HAL October 17, 2012 at 6:39 pm

There's also something of Chauncy Gardiner about him, totally clueless and out of his depth.

Boojum October 17, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Being a binder of women would be a great Halloween costume.

Incitefully_Joe October 17, 2012 at 12:22 pm

It can be a real hit at the right types of parties, too.

actor212 October 17, 2012 at 12:28 pm

"These rings unsnap?"

Nothingisamiss October 17, 2012 at 1:42 pm

It's too bad I'm not in Atlanta for a little while. I could see a Manuel's costume party.

Boojum October 17, 2012 at 1:57 pm

When are you back?

Nothingisamiss October 17, 2012 at 3:27 pm

13 weeks. Can you believe it? I took a travel assignment to Berekley,my spiritual home. I've been in the closet as a dem for so long it's like being at Fire Island.

SnarkOff October 17, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Politics is Pee-Chee, But Sex is an All-Season Sport.

JustPixelz October 17, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Mitt's grampa would be proud of his crypto-polygamy as governor of Massachusetts.

deanbooth October 17, 2012 at 12:14 pm

So God's prohibition against worshiping calves didn't make it into the Mormon bible?

SayItWithWookies October 17, 2012 at 12:30 pm

Only the golden ones — the pale white ones are apparently okay.

ManchuCandidate October 17, 2012 at 12:14 pm

The Joy of Sects!

eggsacklywright October 17, 2012 at 12:41 pm

And cock-rings!

cheetojeebus October 17, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Joy Books?! WTF Umm You know, My fellow man…I think we're through. I tried but I'm just not all that into you.
Sorry. also I can't really say it's not you. 'cause honestly. It is.

actor212 October 17, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Ladies! Put three rings on it!

Nothingisamiss October 17, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Ok, baby YES to this comment!

ChapterUndVerse October 19, 2012 at 12:48 am

Wouldn't it be easier for Mittens to put three rings on it?

Hmm. Well, maybe not. I'd have to ask Egg.

memzilla October 17, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Oddly enough, Sarah Mooselini was not in this Magical Binder of highly qualified wimmenz.

gullywompr October 17, 2012 at 12:53 pm

And Mitt was not in John McCain's binder of qualified men.

SorosBot October 17, 2012 at 12:16 pm

But Egg Romney said "I love you WOMEN!" at the RNC, therefore Mitt is really a feminist, just like Palin was really a feminist because she had a vagina.

magic_titty October 17, 2012 at 12:17 pm

I'm not getting any joy from those beastly calves pictured there. And I don't think a photo album should look like a collection of serial killer mementos. But I'm not Mormon so this could just be a cultural difference.

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Be nice, now.
If YOU had to walk everywhere you went because YOU weren't allowed to drive, you'd have brawny leg muscles, too.

bearperney October 17, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Mormons looking for "sturdy, peasant calves and hips" the better "vessel" to "bear young".

SayItWithWookies October 17, 2012 at 12:17 pm

See, that's the problem with women's liberation — the women start taking credit for the things they used to let the men take credit for — it's sooooo emasculating.

Nothingisamiss October 17, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I just hate it when I emasculate men with my binders. I don't mean to, really.

Incitefully_Joe October 17, 2012 at 12:18 pm

So the thing about the women binders thing that stuck with me isn't the fact that he was lying (and he totally was), and it wasn't even how awkward and meme-worthy "binders of women" is, which it totally is.

The thing is, even taking Romney's bald-faced lies on face value: Romney just recounted a story where he, as governor, noticed that there were too few women under consideration for a job, and so looked for some sort of action that could be taken on an affirmative basis, to bolster the number of qualified applicants within a particular manifestly disadvantaged group.

If only there were a word for that sort of hiring policy.

DCBloom October 17, 2012 at 12:29 pm

My thoughts exactly.

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 1:37 pm

???

I thought the term for that sort of hiring policy was "reverse discrimination".

Gleem McShineys October 17, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Or is it "reverse penis racism"?

Nothingisamiss October 17, 2012 at 1:44 pm

I keep waiting (in vain) for a wingnut to call him out on this. I'm guessing I'll have to wait until after the election.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 19, 2012 at 3:34 am

Are you thinking along the same lines as his notion that people should Plan their Parenthood?

Incitefully_Joe October 19, 2012 at 7:33 am

Single parenting did Aurora, Colorado, for Pete's sake!

mrblifil October 17, 2012 at 12:18 pm

MassGAP. Heh heh. Get it?

actor212 October 17, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Relevant

Also, Too

Doktor Zoom October 17, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Also relevant

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 17, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Let me tell you, that three hole punch hurts like a motherfucker!

BadKitty904 October 17, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Ummm…?

actor212 October 17, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Allow me:

Pics or GTFO!

pepperpat October 17, 2012 at 12:40 pm

bodee peerseen – ur doin it rong

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 17, 2012 at 1:39 pm

I don't know. I kinda like it.

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 1:39 pm

It's really important that the punch is lined up EXACTLY with all three holes.

hagajim October 17, 2012 at 12:25 pm

So he was talking about binders of the three-ring type? I was thinking something with feet…I has a sad.

freakishlywrong October 17, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Not a true story.. Duh.

mavenmaven October 17, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Don't forget the binders Scott Brown was in!

fawkedifiknow October 17, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Binder libel.

T3rbo October 17, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Wow, what a total surprise. Romney told a folksy lie in order to score political points! Republicans try to disenfranchise voters of color! Next thing you are going to tell me is that Romney's tax plan is total bullshit and that neither Rush Limbaugh nor Glenn Beck are credentialed historians??!!?? My world is collapsing…

weejee October 17, 2012 at 12:35 pm

So Bane-full Mittens was doing a three-way with binders and Staples?

VeraSevera October 17, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Three holes no waiting…did I get it right? I'm new to the heterosexual male imaginary so help me Wonkettes…

James Michael Curley October 17, 2012 at 12:54 pm

You must be one of them rich city folks, out here i all we had was two holers.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 17, 2012 at 12:40 pm

I'm imagining a good Mormon man flipping through that binder until he stops in his tracks.
"The backs of those knees! Those calves! I must have this fine piece of female flesh as part of my celestial family!"
That is some kind of fucked up super-kink right there.

pepperpat October 17, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I like to imagine there are a few good Mormon men in general.

LibertyLover October 17, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Next he will be color coding them before putting them in binders.

Franknflower October 17, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Where do I get a binder for my woman?

ChapterUndVerse October 19, 2012 at 12:50 am

CEOs everywhere want to know where they can get women for their binders.

owhatever October 17, 2012 at 12:53 pm

All the Mittbot had to say was, "I support equal pay for women." Instead he rambles off to talk about binders full of women, which are available at Staples, which he created from corn startch and Elmer's glue.

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Huh. Somebody really likes muscular calves.

BadKitty904 October 17, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Them fields ain't gonna plow themselves, ya know…

Negropolis October 18, 2012 at 1:33 am

They look first for sturdy, child-bearing hips. Muscular calves are just the cherry on top, or bottom, in this case.

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 12:55 pm

"And — and so we — we took a concerted effort to go out and find women who had backgrounds that could be qualified to become members of our cabinet.
I went to a number of women’s groups and said, “Can you help us find folks,” "

This sounds very much like affirmative action to me.

James Michael Curley October 17, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Also the book "Call Me Madam."

pdiddycornchips October 17, 2012 at 12:56 pm

The binder thing is funny but I haven't heard anything from the mouth breathers about Mitt's "coal kills people" problem.

gullywompr October 17, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Three rings to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them.

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Somewhat OT, but puzzling:

My Cousin Baboom and his mother, Aunt Floozy, sent me a message on assbook saying, "ROMNEY WON THE DEBATE!!! CLICK LIKE IF YOU THINK ROMNEY WON THE DEBATE!"

Seriously? Aside from wondering why they would think I can stand Mittens… How can anyone, even his fans, have watched that train wreck and conclude that their boy "won"?

gullywompr October 17, 2012 at 1:01 pm

They had a forgone conclusion.

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 1:43 pm

I'd be amazed if they could even pronounce that.

gullywompr October 17, 2012 at 1:07 pm

DId you see Frank Luntze's focus group of "undecideds" on Fox last night? They were unanimously in the tank for Romney, enthusiastically so, declaring him the clear winner of the debate. I can decide if it's willful delusion, or just the most transparent lying ever.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 17, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Are you related to the Romneys? Those sound like Romney names.

walterhwhite October 17, 2012 at 1:39 pm

'Cause they're delusional.

Boojum October 17, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Are you kidding? Romney was TOTALLY whiter than Obama!

Generation[redacted] October 17, 2012 at 3:07 pm

I was going to say he looked more Presidential, but same thing.

Chet Kincaid_ October 17, 2012 at 1:03 pm

If Mitt really gets things going gangbusters in the economy, Negroes and Latin Types might even get a few job interviews!!

bikerlaureate October 17, 2012 at 1:12 pm

I almost hate it when you're optimistic, and subsequent events are coming that will crush your enthusiasm like an… Egg.

DahBoner October 17, 2012 at 1:24 pm

I think if you're in Manilla, and request "binders", you will not get what you think you are…

GeorgiaBurning October 17, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Were Mittens and Qaddafi in some strange fantasy binder-women league?

Chet Kincaid_ October 17, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Moamar Ghaddafi (pick a spelling) had a binder full of one woman, because his heart was pure.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 17, 2012 at 1:38 pm

My guess is he used to dance around w/ a life-sized cutout singing "Condi Condi Condi" to the tune of "Quando quando quando".

Oh I made myself ill. Oops.

James Michael Curley October 17, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I alway preferred Malomar KaDaffy.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 17, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Mittens: "She looks different from the brochure."

Weenus299 October 17, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Going through life with binders on, it's tough, too, see. I had to get up get out of Mass. and go look for me.

Pat_Pending October 17, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Looks like R. Crumb porn. He's so fond of big calves and sturdy thick ankles.

Gleem McShineys October 17, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Mitt, you can just go to the Match.com website, you don't have to print them all out.

My_pal_HAL October 17, 2012 at 2:49 pm

"one ring to find them and in the darkness bind them"

tessiee October 17, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Hey, Gurl…
I'm'a put you in a binder.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 17, 2012 at 6:35 pm

So wrong but so right.

Barrelhse October 17, 2012 at 7:35 pm
Generation[redacted] October 17, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Is that the latest issue of Cankles Quarterly?

HistoriCat October 17, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Why must you make Antonin Scalia sad grumpy?

BerkeleyBear October 17, 2012 at 8:09 pm

Fat Tony doesn't need any help getting to grumpy. I'm going for apoplectic, followed by massive coronary.

HistoriCat October 17, 2012 at 10:49 pm

As an adherent to Commenting Rules for Radicals, I wouldn't wish harmon anyone … but Tony would probably benefit from retiring. Hedeserves a nice quiet looong retirement, watching his replacementreverse everything he worked for.

My_pal_HAL October 17, 2012 at 6:50 pm

It's like bad undergrad prose. "We took an effort… (made an effort?)…to find women who had backgrounds that could be qualified…(women are qualified? backgrounds are qualified? qualified as what?)…binders full of women." (Literally?) I give it an F.

ttommyunger October 17, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Muscular calves, peasant stock ankles, just the right sort for inclusion into the sister-wife lifestyle. A man can find sex anywhere, but when it comes to women, we must think about the children. This is the Mormon Male Mindset in a nutshell.

Barrelhse October 17, 2012 at 7:33 pm

Mitt- two words: Kerry Healey.

Negropolis October 18, 2012 at 1:24 am

Y know, if this election hinges on giving women jobs, perhaps they should have nominated Herman Cain, instead. I mean, they want jobs, don't they…?

Negropolis October 18, 2012 at 1:39 am

"Lady Binders" is the name of the band I'm managing at the moment. I'm looking to wrangle Ladysmith Black Mombinders, too.

CessnaDriver October 18, 2012 at 4:55 pm

I joined a Mormon dating site for a short while, just for giggles.

I got out immediately-I got hundreds of responses from young Mormon women with scads of children and husbands who had either suicided or disappeared.

Oblios_Cap October 17, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Leave it to the Mormons to make something that sounds fun into something dirty and creepy.

MissTaken October 17, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Yes. They have been 'rumored' for years about the FLDS sects, but became public when used as evidence against Warren Jeffs. Sick fucking shit.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2006/nov/21/gende

At the age of 14 her name was added by her father to the "joy book", a list allegedly collated by Jeffs of young girls whose parents believed they were ready to be put out to marriage, often with a husband who already had one or several other wives.

BadKitty904 October 17, 2012 at 12:48 pm

"PUT OUT TO MARRIAGE"?!?!

Oh, HELL to the fuck, *no*…

SorosBot October 17, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Damn I feel sick just reading that. Fuck people suck.

commiegirl99 October 17, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Borrowed your link. Thanks Miss Lady!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 17, 2012 at 1:16 pm

*Some* people suck. But the ones that do suck reeeeeaally suck.

MissTaken October 17, 2012 at 2:12 pm

It's my pleasure!

Chet Kincaid_ October 17, 2012 at 2:16 pm

One of the books that resonated with me in my '20s/the '80s was "!Click Song" by John A. Williams. He was a great novelist who seems to have been forgotten these days, even among the black literati. That novel had a lot of bitter things to say about becoming a black writer in the '40s-'80s, which influenced me as a then-aspiring poet. He also accurately predicted how publishing was going to become an author-demeaning, computer-driven financial business in the '80s and beyond. And the love story in it influenced me to the degree that all of my serious relationships have been with at-least-half-Jewish women. EDIT: More precisely, at-least-half-Jewish women writers.
https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/john-a

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