make em say vote nah nah nah nah

‘Bout To Get Rowdy Rowdy And Debate It ‘Bate It

just chillHello, nerds!

Rebecca and I are ready and set to get up in this debate shit, on the real. Tonight is the most important night of Barack Obama’s life, in that he should just straight slam Five Hour Energy and then leap around onstage like he will seriously Seal Team Six the fuck out of Romney’s shit.

I am liveblogging from Gooeyz on the Ohio State University campus, courtesy of the Franklin County Young Democrats. Rebecca is blogging from a velvet couch while smoking a cigarette out of a long black holder.

8:38 PM: I have not seen a group of people this white sit in a space this small since that group of college kids piled in that Land Rover at Hilton Head.

8:56 PM: Candy Crowley came out and the lady is BEAMING. I think one of the Romney sons just proposed to her, probably.

9:00 PM: The Coors Light I’m drinking is kicking in and I think I hate unions now, guys.

9:02 PM: The audience has agreed to be polite. Suckers.

9:04 PM: Did Mitt Romney go Oompa Loompa?

9:06 PM: Hope that kid got Mitt’s business card, for that job he promised him.

9:09 PM: Mitt Romney says that Barack Obama bankrupted Detroit, because Jesus how tan is he?

9:12 PM: Professor Frink out with an energy question!

9:13 PM: Obama cold talks how many millions of energy jobs he will created and undecided voters on CNN are eating it up like their cheesy fries.

9:16 PM: We worry for Mitt’s arms with all the desperate people grabbing his arms and telling him things.

9:19 PM: Mitt going into attack pattern zeta now, just stepping up into Obama’s shit.

9:23 PM: Mitt is kind of a disrespectful sack of finely processed shit right now to everyone.

9:26 PM: Romney announces a brand new tax plan RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

9:32 PM: Romney has entered Anger Mode. Flail Pattern failed, so now he’s going after…well, the fact that Obama exists or something? It would be great if Romney would show us his tax returns so we could get a sense of how any of this will affect him maybe?

9:33 PM: Oh shit, Obama mentioned Big Bird. I think he just lost all debates.

9:34 PM: Did you know Michael Jordan had a degree in math? Because Obama is going straight Jordan Undergrad Degree on Romney right now.

9:36 PM: “Of COURSE they add up,” says the man who refuses to show anyone how they add up.

9:38 PM: There is a question about women in a presidential debate that’s not about what men want for dinner? Huh?

9:40 PM: Mitt gives an incredibly human answer about how women existed around him and he really does recognize that.

9:41 PM: By the way, Mitt balanced the Olympic budget with $1.3 billion in federal funds. Like a true capitalist.

9:42 PM: Barack Obama officially endorses your baby-free fucking, and will be President For Life.

9:44 PM: Oh, and Mitt has binders full of women, like he directs porn?

9:45 PM: Romney is just a fucking rules dick tonight.

9:50 PM: Becca here. Jesse’s peeing or shooting smack or something. “Susan Katz” claims to be an uncommitted voter. FUCKING DOUBT IT, JEWISH LADY WHO HATES GEORGE W. BUSH, duh. YOU LIE!

9:53 PM: Oh, so Mitt Romney is against the Blunt Amendment, which let employers choose whether their chick employees could get slut pills? That is good to FINALLY KNOW.

9:55 PM: Officially the most black people Romney has talked to in a night, ever. I mean, besides servers. Those aren’t people.

9:58 PM: A BREAK??? Huh? Oh, no, just an Asian lady. How do they vote?

9:59 PM: A nice Asian lady named Lorraine asked a question. Mitt had to clarify her name through her thick New York accent.

10:oo PM: Mitt Romney tries to pretend he cares about immigrants by referring to Ann’s Welsh dad. The Welsh, always getting stopped and frisked by the NYPD.

10:01 PM: Didn’t Romney used to say Obama promised unemployment under 8 percent? Now he promised 5.4 percent? That is some serious goalpost moving!

10:08 PM: Romney and Obama just had a “spat”, and then Candy Crowley was all like “NUH UH” and then insert a reference to The Help here

10:10 PM: Benghazi question to Obama. Obama takes ultimate responsibility, because he is a feminist now? Burn Michelle’s bras now!

10:13 PM: Shorter Romney on Benghazi: Obama should have stopped running for President against me. ME, people. The Mitt you love

10:15 PM: Barry just stared down Mitt and dared him to step to this. Mitt is attempting to step. It is not working.

10:17 PM: Candy Crowley just called Mitt Romney a liar to his orange face, at which point he replied, “I’m purple tonight, Candy.”

10:19 PM: Gun control question? Is this 1992? NO, DUMB LADY.

10:21 PM: BREAKING: Obama has finally come out in favor of taking guns away from the mentally ill.

10:22 PM: So, if you get married, you will no longer shoot motherfuckers that look the wrong way at you?

10:24 PM: Mitt could only have answered that gun question worse if he had fallen down and had a seizure.

10:29 PM: Mitt Romney is literally just saying words he remembers at this point. There has been no coherence to anything said since 10:15 PM. I know, because I’VE BEEN WATCHING.

10:33 PM: Now we’ve entered the “who loves Steve Jobs’ corpse more?” section of the debate. My bet: Mitt Romney because he listens to many of the “iTunes” on his Pod player.

10:34 PM: Romney, after spending 90 minutes explaining how he knows what it takes to create jobs: “Government does not create jobs.”

10:36 PM: Romney: “I am from the private sector! Also the public sector! Both of those! Whatever! Fuck this shit!”

10:38 PM: Romney would like a level playing field, like no currency manipulation and all of us working for 30 cents an hour.

10:46 PM — Becca here again. (That was Jesse for most of that, he forgot to tell you.) We have ended. B. Barry Bamz came in with the the 47 % at the buzzer — which we thought would be too shoe-horned, too obvious, but worked quite nicely actually!

More importantly, Barry was hardly ever boring (which is his usual debate demeanor) and Romney was his usual stuttering mess. (How you all thought Ol’ Miffed was so macho and awesome in the first debate was totally super beyond us.) Barry managed to thread that impossible line between righteously angry for this dipshit being disrespectful to him, his office, and the American people, and “black man” angry, which is what Tucker Carlson sees when he closes his eyes before bed.

Haha, here is a funny thing that just happened on CNN: the “fact check” dude looked into their dueling answers on public-land drilling and found that Obama’s was “true.” So what was the verdict? They both “cherry-picked” their answers. Oh, CNN, you keep being you!

10:57 PM — Most important thing of the night, obvs, Ann Romney and Michelle Obama are wearing the same outfit. And apparently old Miffed boned Egg’s Bump-It right off.

Sad, you guys. Pour some out for Egg Romney’s hairdo.

What Others Are Reading

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2,771 comments

  1. coolhandnuke

    Due to the lackluster, comatose performance in his first debate with Mitt Romney, the Obama campaign contacted me and asked me to write President Obama's opening speech and create a plan to inject a bit more electricity in tonight's debate. I did just that.

    My fellow Americans, I stand before you tonight as your President of the United States. But, also as a fellow citizen of a divided union who this evening has the unique opportunity to balance the scales of Truth on this very stage.
    There is a cable, a wire, much like the ends of a jumper cable that runs up and under my pant leg. This cable is clamped firmly to my testicles. The cable runs backstage, connected to 47 General Motors Hybrid car batteries. The batteries are connected to a lie-detector machine. The lie-detector is connected to me. This is not any run-of-the-mill lie-detector. Any microscopic rise or fluctuation in my pulse rate, body temperature or perspiration due to the any falsehood or transgression will register and send a Chris Christie sized half-second jolt of voltage strong enough to stop a charging elephant. This lie-detector has been been employed by Walmart, Chick-Fil-A and Koch Industries to vet, weed out and select only the best, brightest and purist of worker for these corporations. This very model we are using tonight, was loaned to us by a former Vice President who used it on "the help" to entertain his hunting buddies at his retreat.
    In the spirit of full-disclosure and complete-transparency, last week I contacted Mitt Romney and explained the details of using a lie-detector for this debate. I extended an open invitation for Governor Romney to equally participate, to erase any doubt, any confusion or misrepresentation of facts, or shake the Etch-A-Sketch pure by having a high-voltage cable attached to his testicle balls…
    He declined. Then he accepted. Then he declined. Then he retroactively accepted. Finally, he declined to accept.
    Earlier tonight, we tested the lie detector on myself to see if everything was up and running. I was asked a series of questions. To one I responded "I did not inhale." And folks let me tell you, let me reassure you, General Motors is up and running.
    Since that day I took my Oath of Office, my pledge, our commitment to truth, to equality and justice has never wavered and tonight is no different. So Madam Moderator bring on the questions and may the truth set us free.

    1. mudsharc

      Stunning, finest prose I've read regarding this parade of prevarication. It should be mandatory and turned up to 11 and questions random and spontaneous. If th speaker goes over the 60 second time limit…automatic galvanization. That would make it both entertaining and educational….of course, that's just my opinion.

  2. OzoneTom

    "Rebecca is blogging from a velvet couch while smoking a cigarette out of a long black holder."

    At long last I am finally in love.

      1. C_R_Eature

        Well, there was no mention of Proper Attire in the post, so I'm assuming it's Pants Off. Traditions are important.

  3. EatsBabyDingos

    I am with a 6 foot bong. It is hard to light, and my butt itches. I think I will go wash some clean pans.

  4. Veritas78

    Well, I'm prepared! I'm already wearing my lucky noose, I've cocked my lucky revolver, and my lucky cyanide capsule is clamped between my molars.

    1. SorosBot

      I've been busy packing to prepare for moving back in with my parents for two weeks before moving out west for good. Tired now.

  5. Veritas78

    Plus, we've already had an earthquake here in New England this evening, just to get us in the mood.

      1. WinstonK3

        But is Obama or Romney the AntiChrist? I'm thinking it's that negro kenyan muslim socialist, but it might be they guy with the magic undies.

  6. C_R_Eature

    Okay, what will be the probability that the topic of catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Change driven by industrial CO2 emissions will come up?

    a). Slim

    b). None

    c). Someone in the audience will try to ask the question, but they will be ignored.

    d). Someone in the audience will try to ask the question, but they will be tackled & removed by the Secret Service.

    e). Someone in the audience will try to ask the question, but Mitt Romney will gesture and they will choke, lift off the ground clutching their necks and die.

    f). Someone will think about asking the question, but will ask about Simpson-Bowles instead.

    g). No one will care to ask.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah, it's funny (by which I mean exceedingly not funny and super depressing) that the single most important issue facing mankind in it's entire history is 'off limits' in a presidential campaign.

    1. mrpuma2u

      If someone is force choked, it wasn't really mittens, that means Darth er, Dick Cheney is backstage.

  7. Antispandex

    How, exactly, do you win a debate? I need to know what to look for. I know there is no score….is it kind of like being elected prom king / queen? Is it something you just KNOW? I have to be honest….I may not watch this awesome display of mental and verbal combat. I know. I'm going to hell.

  8. DailyGrumbles

    You're Norv Turner. How do you keep from blowing a 24 point Halftime lead, Hotshot??? Follow up: Favorite Beer? Go!!!

  9. Blueb4sinrise

    At this time I would like to apologize to Hillary for my earlier cynicism at the timing and wish that she had proclaimed her responsibility for security. She did. At the time. According to Meteor Blades at Teh GOS.
    Wasn't much mentioned in the liberal press.

  10. Joshua Norton

    Every time Candy Crowley says something to piss you off, take a shot of Rebel Yell. I'm half blotto just thinking about her and she's not even on the air yet.

  11. Jerri

    I'm just going to toss back enough scotch to numb my brains up real good and see how long I can stand to watch this thing.

  12. Blueb4sinrise

    Not sure I can watch the town hall. But will have a shot every time one of you posts Oh for fucks sake or some variation, at a question Candy chooses to pose to the candidates.

  13. kittensdontlie

    Tonight we will find out if Barry is just not that into us anymore. Remember, no tears…he's to blame, not us.

  14. Schmannnity

    I hope Obama comes out in his witch doctor outfit I've been seeing so much of lately and see if Romney has the nerve to mention it. 90 minutes of stuttering robot. Good times.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      Wow. What an image. Genius!

      SNL would totally do that, if it had any balls. And all it's writers were Wonkette commenters.

  15. fuflans

    i think i want cool barry to show up. not professor barry, but cool barry that told us all to chill. miffed will look like a hyperactive pekinese.

    or i maybe that empty chair guy who was swearing all the time. i could also work with that.

  16. BlueStateLibel

    Oh boy, we get to hear questions from the average undecided voter – in other words, it'll be a mouthbreather fest.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      Seriously. 'Undecided' at this point is just another synonym for unaware, uninterested, uncaring, uneducated, unmotivated…

  17. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I heard Mittens will institute Mormon law if elected and will ban alcohol, caffeine and nicotine. That's what I heard, anyway.

    1. Schmannnity

      Alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine. Isn"t that a line from The Sound of Music: these are a few of my favorite things?

  18. Close_Read

    I am carefully preparing by not turning on my TV or radio at all. I can't bear the thought of another Barry fail. I will walk my dog, hope and pray that he's doing well, against Professor Harold Hill, and then, maybe if I can bear it, come back later and take a peek. Please keep the Wonkette warm for me while I am off in denial.

      1. Lascauxcaveman

        Yeah, remember, Harold Hill, in the final analysis, was actually motivated by his very real love of music.

        Mitt just loves himself.

  19. LibertyLover

    No opening or closing statements? Does that mean that Obama can't call out Romney's lying from the beginning?

  20. pdiddycornchips

    Two Tequila shots for every time Romney says "that's not my plan". Bong chaser if it is his plan and he's lying about it.

    1. HouseOfTheBlueLights

      I can't tell when he's lying because I don't know which of his conflicting statements he considers to be the truth

  21. Not_Mother

    CNN is discussing the pros and cons of Michelle Obama and Ann Romney both wearing pink. Emmy stuff.

  22. YouFail4eva

    Let me help you Pres. When Romney comes out, just start by kicking him in the nads. This will set the rest of the night!

  23. Serfville

    Jeebus, poor Prez..the pressure he is under right this minute. I hope they gave him some nice "Dr. Feelgood/JFK uppers circa 1961 White House

  24. Negropolis

    Okay, Barack, a few pointers:

    1. No more "uh"s to feel space between thoughts and sentences. Silence between words in a debate is golden.

    2. On your body language, you have the tendency to shrink and apologize with your body. Do not do this. Lean into your rebuttals.

    3. Never, I mean NEVER, use the word "agree" when referring to your opponents policies. Never. Just stop it.

    All that said, go out their and murder that fraud…with swing state votes enough to burying all the elephants in Africa.

    1. CthuNHu

      And no, Barack, there is no "but I'm gonna differentiate us a little bit in a while, after I ingratiate myself" exception to #3. The sole permissible exception to #3 is the following:

      "There are a number of major statesmen and military figures who agree with my opponent's policies. Or at least there used to be, before we hung them at Nuremberg."

    2. Negropolis

      Thanks for bumpbing this back up, because he kept the "uh"s to a minimum, he TOTALLY scored on the body language portion of my test, and I think he said the word "agree" in regards to romney's policy points maybe once. He surpassed my expectations, that's for damned sure.

  25. Joshua Norton

    And now a shout out to all my relatives back east who usually can't wait to send me snarky emails every time we have an earthquake in California. How does it feeeeel?

    Watch out for the aftershocks. They can be a bitch on wheels.

  26. savethispatient

    Pre-debate political ad in Seattle for David "Val" Kilmer for Congress. I assume as he didn't mention a political party he's a Republican.

    1. emmelemm

      I've been seeing those too, and wondering, is he a Democrat or a Republican? I mean, on the one hand, as you said, if they don't say, they're probably an R. But he says both his parents were teachers. (Both my parents were teachers.) That's usually a recipe for Democrat. So I remain confused.

      As I clearly don't live in his district, I'm too lazy to Google it.

    2. Lascauxcaveman

      Right on the parents being teachers, wrong on the 'R' after his name. Born and raised in my hometown, he is very, very much a Democrat, and he is going to be the next congressman from my district (Yo! The Big Six! As in the crib of Norm Dicks!).

      -I'm Lascauxcaveman and I approved this message

  27. Tilley

    hey hey wonketeers! Is this the place? So, I bought a bottle of Proseco on the way home from work and, wow, it's already all gone, so all I've got now is beer. I cannot imagine watching this thing without being here. Let's do it BARRY!

  28. FakaktaSouth

    Alrighty my friends, here we go again… I have surrounded myself with soft things for throwing because I am NOT replacing a tv just cause Mitt Romney sucks balls. Let's go let's go let's go!

  29. johnnyzhivago

    It's going to be interesting! Will Obama just say "fuck you all – see how you like having this empty suit as your president, I'm going back to Hawaii" or will the Mittbot just plain hang on it's new "audience empathy" routines.

  30. pdiddycornchips

    It's about to start and I feel like puking. That could be the scotch talking but I don't think so

  31. SorosBot

    The debate hasn't even started yet, with just Brian Williams jabbing on on my TV, and 87 comments already? Damn you people talk to much.

  32. HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Every time either candidate says "I met a voter in [swing state]" chug a local beer, now made in China.

    1. FakaktaSouth

      She certainly made some sort of mistake there, no doubt. And that girlie hair? I do not want to smell sex and candy there, not none at all. Yick.

  33. GregComlish

    God I can't take any more of this inane bullshit pre-debate analysis and the equally inane "centrist" lauding of idiotic "undecided" voters.

  34. SexySmurf

    Here's what Obama needs to do:

    1. Wear a red tie. The red tie increases confidence (true fact!)

    2. Have Biden do the debate.

    What not to do:

    1. Don't have Biden wear a red tie; he'll probably strangle Romney with his own arm.

  35. C_R_Eature

    I'm watching some Newfie ex-fishermen shoot icebergs with a high-velocity rifle.

    It's about all I can handle right now.

  36. James Michael Curley

    That's Candy Crowely is glistening. As in the ham glistened with the honey glaze slowly forming a succulent in the over heated oven.

  37. JustPixelz

    Student wants to know how to get a job. What kind of college did he go to? And how much did the Romney campaign pay him for that softball?

  38. Mittens Howell, III

    Well if you have to read your question off a card, yeah, you have little chance of gaining employment.

  39. SayItWithWookies

    "Hi Jeremy — if I'm elected you'll have a wonderful career in the Army. It would help if you learned Farsi. Just kidding — we're just gonna make them speak English."

  40. SorosBot

    Mitt really cares about unemployed young people, really! But yet his programs would make it a lot harder for people to get jobs.

  41. redarmyzombie

    Liar, Liar, pants on fire…
    Is it a good thing I can no longer hear the words coming our of Willard's mouth?

  42. Negropolis

    Awkward.

    EDIT: Obama's body language is already better. That's what happens when humans adress humans instead of robots.

  43. Mittens Howell, III

    I can't believe Obama took that swell economy away from President Bush and did all that shit to it 'over the last 4 years'.

  44. JustPixelz

    Obama wearing a red tie, Romney blue. Reverse of last time. Is this some kind of bipartisanship?

  45. FakaktaSouth

    I want to be able for you to get a job. I know how you could get a job. (You could go to China?) What the hell? Mitt knows what it takes, but ya gotta elect him to find out what it is…

  46. miss_grundy

    I guess everything is supposed to be Bammerz fault. Rmoney is promising jobs to graduates…probably in China…

  47. OzoneTom

    Rmoney's already waling forward on the stage. Will Bamz walk all the way to the peeps like Clinton?

    1. HistoriCat

      As I comb through the 33(!!) pages of comments, I really hope someone busted out a "Down goes Romney! Down goes Romney! Down goes Romney!"

  48. redarmyzombie

    Strange. Romney says he wants to give us jobs, and all this time I thought he wanted us to borrow 20,000 bucks and make our own.

  49. C_R_Eature

    Let's just get this over with, shall we?

    Bag the rest of the debates, put them both in a ring, give them Pugil Sticks and elect the one that comes out conscious.

    My money's on Barry. I'll bet he goes completely Berserk when he gets really pissed off.

  50. FraAnima

    What I wanna know – Where did Bamz hide his teleprompters, hengh?!?!?! We all know he can't speak without a teleprompter!

  51. Negropolis

    I hope someone tells Romney that America is aging and that's a big reason for a smaller workforce.

  52. Yellerdawg

    Question 1: How will you ensure I can get a job when I graduate?
    Ans: We're going to make sure you get a job.

    Objection! Non responsive.

  53. SorosBot

    Mitt lies! Unemployment is now lower than when Obama took office during the Bush recession. DRINK!

  54. SayItWithWookies

    And Candy jumps in — what about the long-term unemployed who need jobs now?

    Mitt — there are long-term unemployed who need jobs now. Bullshit statistics, five-point plan, 12 million jobs (the same number of jobs that economists predict will be created anyway). And Mitt's bullshit Detroit rebuttal, when there wasn't a buyer for GM at the time the Fed bailed them out.

  55. JustPixelz

    Romney says "12 million new jobs in four years". But Ezra Klein deconstructed that just before the debate.

  56. Negropolis

    Romney: Obama said I wanted to take Detroit bankrupt. That's right.

    Yes, us Michiganders caught that, Willard. You can't take it back.

  57. Not_Mother

    "that shellac-haired cocksucker over there dares to say government has exploded in size under me! His rich friends got government bailouts and gave themselves bonuses with it, and yet I'm the socialist because I think people should buy health insurance? Fuck, how many lies can you take?"

  58. Lucidamente1

    Barry, you're on Long Island. Call Romney a lying douchebag and the crowd will be eating out of your hand.

  59. FakaktaSouth

    THERE! What Mitt says just isn't true. He's gonna have to say that a lot tonight! He has a one point plan! BUUUURN. Okay, looks like he is doing this thing. Way to learn from OHJoe, PresO NICE!

    1. C_R_Eature

      You can watch on CSPAN, they're live streaming.

      It's really slow loading, though. Probably loaded up with Breittards and Freepers.

  60. squirmisher

    Bammerz has a spine tonight, hooray.

    Also Romney is practically glowing on my TV, I think he's pregnant, or a gay vampire.

  61. SayItWithWookies

    Good gravy it's so nice to see a president who's not afraid to take pride in his liberal policies — it's been what, twenty years since a president increased fuel efficiency standards, and so doubling them is not small potatoes.

  62. sullivanst

    Dammit Barry, point out that Romney wants to repeal the clean energy credits while leaving the oil credits in place.

  63. Negropolis

    Nice explanation of our energy policy, Mr. President. Really.

    Romney only has the old energy, Obama is transitioning us.

  64. Serfville

    Don't you want to leave the gubbermint out of everything new libertarian Mitt? Phoney! Who are you tonight??????????

  65. Negropolis

    What is it with Republicans and wanting to drill in our national parks? Who the hell does this sound preferable to?

    Dick.

  66. SorosBot

    Clean energy will create jobs and lower gas prices, stick him with the facts! And Romney just counters with "but he won't let companies destroy federal land!"

  67. FakaktaSouth

    We've had 4 years of policies? What? The Congress made it their ONLY job to make sure NOTHING Pres O tried to do happened, so keep on with that Mitt, you sound brilliant.

  68. chascates

    Yeah, we can be just like eastern Europe, with lots of pollution, nasty environmental problems, drill here.

  69. Monsieur_Grumpe

    I got my cheerleader outfit on, I'm drunk on home made beer (IPA) and I'm jumping up and down in my TeeVeee room shouting…

    Punch him in the ball
    Tell him he's your bitch
    Raw raw raw
    Punch him in the other ball!
    *splits*

  70. HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Hey, Mitt, if that's who you really are, how about you tell the kids on the West side of Chicago who are dying from asthma about how much we need more coal fired plants.

  71. Negropolis

    Who does he think this shit appeals to? Even people who want more dirty energy don't crow about more drilling. They couch it in more flowery language.

  72. coolhandnuke

    Look at all the whiteys on stage who are undecided. 32 Baskin Robbins flavors of miracle whip vanilla saltines.

  73. SayItWithWookies

    Mitt: "I was in coal country — people grabbed my arms and said 'please — save my job.'"

    Yeah — they were asking you to beg your friend the owner of the coal operation not to fire them for scowling when they were forced to be in your photo op.

  74. JackObin

    Governor, why do mormons have so many children, when the number one problem in the world is an excess of children?

  75. redarmyzombie

    Willard,
    The oil from the pipeline from Canada is used for foreign consumption, not domestic, that's why it runs all the way to a port, dickwad.

    1. MilwaukeeKent

      Oh come on, next you'll be suggesting it was timed to coincide with the widening of the Panama Canal, as if a larger class of Super Tankers at American Gulf ports would help Canadian exports of that filthy sand oil…

  76. JustPixelz

    Romney shut down a coal plant because it kills?!? Obama just killed*.
    __________________________
    * with words

  77. JackObin

    Governor, when you travel to the rest of the world and they offer you coffee and alcohol, do you realize that when you decline, they view it a s an insult?

  78. glasspusher

    Hey kids, I have a cold, and prefer to watch Verlander mow down the yanks. I will be following the live blog here though. Thank you…and FSM bless Amercia!

  79. FakaktaSouth

    Not true Governor Romney. We have produced MORE oil – it's PRODUCTION that matters. I thought these fucks were pissed about interrupting? SHUT UP MITT he's TELLING YOU.

  80. JadedPreppy

    Now we're talkin'. Here comes the inner bitch and the most important reason this motherfucker can not be the leader of the free world.

  81. Negropolis

    If production is up with fewer permits, isn't that efficiency? What the fuck are you talking about Willard. Really, what the fuck are you talking about.

  82. FakaktaSouth

    MItt WILL FIGHT for the oil companies, you hear him? That's really great, because BP really needs someone to let them destroy the gulf moreso.

    1. JustPixelz

      In the spin room afterward, Lawrence O'Donnell asked George Pataki that very question. His answer? "That was different." Asshat.

  83. cognachas4paws

    I wish I had something snarky to say but all I can manage is: I cannot believe how utterly disrespectful Romney is being to the President of the United States. I realize he has no respect for him, but he should respect the OFFICE at least.

  84. iburl

    Fuck you with your Tar Sands shit Mittens! I have a child in Texas and I don't appreciate your cancer threats against her. O' course Obama is building the pipeline already, so we are fucked anyways.

  85. redarmyzombie

    More…energy? What'chyoo talkin' about, Willard?

    I don't think Mr. Romney here understands what's going on here…

  86. C_R_Eature

    Does Romney really think that having the extractive industries pillaging Federally managed lands and drilling offshore in Virgina is going to be popular?

  87. JackObin

    Governor, can you promise this evening that a mormon agenda will not influence any decision you make as president?

  88. Mittaplasia

    Gas prices were almost $5 in So Cal in October, 2008. Now they've risen to that level again, mostly in the last few weeks. I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but there's some serious price-manipulation going on.

  89. Serfville

    Mittens face! Pain! Prez is winning! Use Mittens slime words against him. Do not fuck with Candy Mittens!

  90. Negropolis

    Barry ain't losin' this election. Romney, you better go suck some more Koch dick, 'cause you're going to need some money to burying this president.

    EDIT: Candy "Do I Look Like Jim Lehrer?" Crowley shuts his ass down, again.

  91. JustPixelz

    Romney finally shut up and is just sitting there smiling. Fox is gonna kill him* over that.
    ___________________________
    * with chyrons

  92. Mumbletypeg

    Mitt should be declared Loser just on the basis of his asinine behavior on display, which is anything but Presidential; and if any Repubs doubt that, try picturing him negotiating w/ world leaders in tense situations the way he is now..

  93. chascates

    The name's Follano, but I'm white. I'm possibly an Irish Catholic American. And shit, let me get my notes.

  94. sullivanst

    He doesn't have a policy of directly stopping wind jobs, he has a policy of stopping the tax credits that creates them.

    Also a policy if being a fucking dick to moderators.

  95. SorosBot

    Go old lady; "which tax deductions, specifically, will you eliminate?" Bet Mitt won't really answer the question.

  96. sullivanst

    Mitt wants to leave all the credits that people like, which leaves… umm… uhh… NOTHING left.

  97. Chet Kincaid_

    The man has no answers! He answers every question by restating it, and bringing out the worst current stats he can find. Nowhere are there specifics on what he wants to do.

    1. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      "It's true. I have answers. Let me answer that. I have specifics. I have current stats. See, I have answers. I answered your question. With stats and specifics."

  98. FakaktaSouth

    He's not going to have the top percent pay more taxes, he's going to pull all the money for this shit right out of his magic underwear. CAPITAL GAINS TAXES DO NOT AFFECT HARDLY ANY MIDDLE CLASS PEOPLE YOU DICK

  99. C_R_Eature

    Does Mitt Romney remind anyone else of the pushiest, most arrogant Car Salesman you've ever met?

  100. SayItWithWookies

    Mitt: "The top taxpayers are still going to pay 60%" of income tax revenues.

    Duh — meaningless math — if you cut everyone's taxes by the same percentage, their proportions remain the same.

    Oh, no taxes on dividends and capital gains — the poor people will benefit greatly from that.

  101. Nothingisamiss

    This is the first debate I've been able to drink freely. Oh my God, it's so much better this way.

  102. SorosBot

    No tax on dividends or capital gains – which only rich fuckers get. Those of us who are not rich don't have those things, moron Mitt.

  103. pdiddycornchips

    haha!!! Anyone getting interest income is not in the fucking middle class, Bam is going to rip him to shreds here.

  104. JustPixelz

    Did Romney just promise no capital gains tax? That's new. And certainly good news for rich people.

    1. FraAnima

      Exactly! What he said was, if you make all your money from capital gains, NO TAXES! and then PROFIT!!!

      1. Terry

        I donate more than that in money to charities and enviro groups, let alone stuff to Goodwill or any other deductions such as mortgage, education, etc.

    1. SorosBot

      He'll raise money while cutting taxes by magic; it worked for Reagan!

      (Wait, Reagan actually created an unprecedented deficit, that only Clinton was able to fix? Let's not let facts get in the way).

  105. Doktor Zoom

    While my laptop was starting up, Mitt dissed birds for interfering in an oil project. Has Derrick Wildcat weighed in on this?

  106. sullivanst

    Almost all middle class investment is already through tax-free vehicles like IRAs and 401(k)s. Romney's promise to eliminate that tax is almost completely meaningless. Then everything else was just lies.

  107. JustPixelz

    Question was what deductions Romney would cut. Romney didn't answer. Obama doesn't have to answer which gives him running room for … well, I'm just going to watch him run.

  108. SayItWithWookies

    Hey — it's not fair to use Mitt's own words against him. If he says it's fair for him to pay lower taxes than someone making .5% of his salary, then that's just a damn lie if the wrong people hear it.

  109. Negropolis

    Can I just say that I'm hearing shades of Jack Kennedy in some of these answers and even the cadence? I'm not gushing; I'm actually hearing this.

  110. Serfville

    Don't listen to what Mittens "says" today listen to his past speeches/stances he is king phoney!

  111. M. Bouffant

    I'm not watching this crap & I'm reading any "Live-Buggery" about it either. I have to go out to buy some damn food before the prices go up again. And will return to watching the ball game like an American when I get back.

  112. SayItWithWookies

    "Why do I want to bring rates down" and close deductions? Mitt answers his question by saying that small businesses can keep more of their money. Uh — but if you close loopholes to where they're paying the same amount, then that's not true Mitt. You're either a liar or you know nothing about accounting.

  113. Terry

    Mitt insists he doesn't want to lower taxes on rich people, but he's offering a f'ing shell game. Their tax rate officially won't change but oddly enough they'll pay a lot less.

  114. sullivanst

    He wants to freeze the %age the top 5% pays but reduce the amount everyone else pays?

    Math not his strong point.

    Stuff about "able to hire more" is total, complete and utter bullshit. You hire if you make more profit, that's completely independent of marginal tax rate on profit.

  115. pdiddycornchips

    Damn, nothing about the taxing capital gains at 0%? Barry, he gave you an opening, rip him to pieces.

  116. FraAnima

    Wonkette's comment: "Mitt is kind of a disrespectful sack of finely processed shit right now to everyone."

    Amen

  117. Negropolis

    Damn right it's not settled, Mr. President. And, thanks for the set-up, Candy, if even you didn't mean to.

    1. gullywompr

      And listen closely – he's starting to slur his words. I don't think he's drunk, I just think he's tired, and lost his cool.

  118. JustPixelz

    RomneyBot is trying to smile but his face just can't make the lips and cheeks move into position. It's kinda creepy. I may need to gouge my eyes out (again).

  119. NellCote71

    How can Romney have spent his entire life in the private sector and still have been governor of a state?

  120. fuflans

    go barry go.

    (what's awesome is my house is open – the weather if fine here – and all my neighbors can here me cheering barry and shrieking at miffed. this is fine as i'm in chicago).

    1. Powerpuff_Grl

      Me too – all my GOP neighbors in the OC can hear me cheer. I'll gladly listen to their tears!

  121. FakaktaSouth

    ooooh Mitt's tax rates being 14% – god I love this. Go go go go go. Talking bout defunding Big Bird and Planned Parenthood and paying 15% less than most Americans? DAMN! I am waiting on Mitt to throw down his mic and yell about how he doesn't have to take this shit.