MAKE EM SAY VOTE NAH NAH NAH NAH  8:34 pm October 16, 2012

‘Bout To Get Rowdy Rowdy And Debate It ‘Bate It

by Jesse Taylor

just chillHello, nerds!

Rebecca and I are ready and set to get up in this debate shit, on the real. Tonight is the most important night of Barack Obama’s life, in that he should just straight slam Five Hour Energy and then leap around onstage like he will seriously Seal Team Six the fuck out of Romney’s shit.

I am liveblogging from Gooeyz on the Ohio State University campus, courtesy of the Franklin County Young Democrats. Rebecca is blogging from a velvet couch while smoking a cigarette out of a long black holder.

8:38 PM: I have not seen a group of people this white sit in a space this small since that group of college kids piled in that Land Rover at Hilton Head.

8:56 PM: Candy Crowley came out and the lady is BEAMING. I think one of the Romney sons just proposed to her, probably.

9:00 PM: The Coors Light I’m drinking is kicking in and I think I hate unions now, guys.

9:02 PM: The audience has agreed to be polite. Suckers.

9:04 PM: Did Mitt Romney go Oompa Loompa?

9:06 PM: Hope that kid got Mitt’s business card, for that job he promised him.

9:09 PM: Mitt Romney says that Barack Obama bankrupted Detroit, because Jesus how tan is he?

9:12 PM: Professor Frink out with an energy question!

9:13 PM: Obama cold talks how many millions of energy jobs he will created and undecided voters on CNN are eating it up like their cheesy fries.

9:16 PM: We worry for Mitt’s arms with all the desperate people grabbing his arms and telling him things.

9:19 PM: Mitt going into attack pattern zeta now, just stepping up into Obama’s shit.

9:23 PM: Mitt is kind of a disrespectful sack of finely processed shit right now to everyone.

9:26 PM: Romney announces a brand new tax plan RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

9:32 PM: Romney has entered Anger Mode. Flail Pattern failed, so now he’s going after…well, the fact that Obama exists or something? It would be great if Romney would show us his tax returns so we could get a sense of how any of this will affect him maybe?

9:33 PM: Oh shit, Obama mentioned Big Bird. I think he just lost all debates.

9:34 PM: Did you know Michael Jordan had a degree in math? Because Obama is going straight Jordan Undergrad Degree on Romney right now.

9:36 PM: “Of COURSE they add up,” says the man who refuses to show anyone how they add up.

9:38 PM: There is a question about women in a presidential debate that’s not about what men want for dinner? Huh?

9:40 PM: Mitt gives an incredibly human answer about how women existed around him and he really does recognize that.

9:41 PM: By the way, Mitt balanced the Olympic budget with $1.3 billion in federal funds. Like a true capitalist.

9:42 PM: Barack Obama officially endorses your baby-free fucking, and will be President For Life.

9:44 PM: Oh, and Mitt has binders full of women, like he directs porn?

9:45 PM: Romney is just a fucking rules dick tonight.

9:50 PM: Becca here. Jesse’s peeing or shooting smack or something. “Susan Katz” claims to be an uncommitted voter. FUCKING DOUBT IT, JEWISH LADY WHO HATES GEORGE W. BUSH, duh. YOU LIE!

9:53 PM: Oh, so Mitt Romney is against the Blunt Amendment, which let employers choose whether their chick employees could get slut pills? That is good to FINALLY KNOW.

9:55 PM: Officially the most black people Romney has talked to in a night, ever. I mean, besides servers. Those aren’t people.

9:58 PM: A BREAK??? Huh? Oh, no, just an Asian lady. How do they vote?

9:59 PM: A nice Asian lady named Lorraine asked a question. Mitt had to clarify her name through her thick New York accent.

10:oo PM: Mitt Romney tries to pretend he cares about immigrants by referring to Ann’s Welsh dad. The Welsh, always getting stopped and frisked by the NYPD.

10:01 PM: Didn’t Romney used to say Obama promised unemployment under 8 percent? Now he promised 5.4 percent? That is some serious goalpost moving!

10:08 PM: Romney and Obama just had a “spat”, and then Candy Crowley was all like “NUH UH” and then insert a reference to The Help here

10:10 PM: Benghazi question to Obama. Obama takes ultimate responsibility, because he is a feminist now? Burn Michelle’s bras now!

10:13 PM: Shorter Romney on Benghazi: Obama should have stopped running for President against me. ME, people. The Mitt you love

10:15 PM: Barry just stared down Mitt and dared him to step to this. Mitt is attempting to step. It is not working.

10:17 PM: Candy Crowley just called Mitt Romney a liar to his orange face, at which point he replied, “I’m purple tonight, Candy.”

10:19 PM: Gun control question? Is this 1992? NO, DUMB LADY.

10:21 PM: BREAKING: Obama has finally come out in favor of taking guns away from the mentally ill.

10:22 PM: So, if you get married, you will no longer shoot motherfuckers that look the wrong way at you?

10:24 PM: Mitt could only have answered that gun question worse if he had fallen down and had a seizure.

10:29 PM: Mitt Romney is literally just saying words he remembers at this point. There has been no coherence to anything said since 10:15 PM. I know, because I’VE BEEN WATCHING.

10:33 PM: Now we’ve entered the “who loves Steve Jobs’ corpse more?” section of the debate. My bet: Mitt Romney because he listens to many of the “iTunes” on his Pod player.

10:34 PM: Romney, after spending 90 minutes explaining how he knows what it takes to create jobs: “Government does not create jobs.”

10:36 PM: Romney: “I am from the private sector! Also the public sector! Both of those! Whatever! Fuck this shit!”

10:38 PM: Romney would like a level playing field, like no currency manipulation and all of us working for 30 cents an hour.

10:46 PM — Becca here again. (That was Jesse for most of that, he forgot to tell you.) We have ended. B. Barry Bamz came in with the the 47 % at the buzzer — which we thought would be too shoe-horned, too obvious, but worked quite nicely actually!

More importantly, Barry was hardly ever boring (which is his usual debate demeanor) and Romney was his usual stuttering mess. (How you all thought Ol’ Miffed was so macho and awesome in the first debate was totally super beyond us.) Barry managed to thread that impossible line between righteously angry for this dipshit being disrespectful to him, his office, and the American people, and “black man” angry, which is what Tucker Carlson sees when he closes his eyes before bed.

Haha, here is a funny thing that just happened on CNN: the “fact check” dude looked into their dueling answers on public-land drilling and found that Obama’s was “true.” So what was the verdict? They both “cherry-picked” their answers. Oh, CNN, you keep being you!

10:57 PM — Most important thing of the night, obvs, Ann Romney and Michelle Obama are wearing the same outfit. And apparently old Miffed boned Egg’s Bump-It right off.

Sad, you guys. Pour some out for Egg Romney’s hairdo.

 
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{ 2771 comments }

coolhandnuke October 16, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Due to the lackluster, comatose performance in his first debate with Mitt Romney, the Obama campaign contacted me and asked me to write President Obama's opening speech and create a plan to inject a bit more electricity in tonight's debate. I did just that.

My fellow Americans, I stand before you tonight as your President of the United States. But, also as a fellow citizen of a divided union who this evening has the unique opportunity to balance the scales of Truth on this very stage.
There is a cable, a wire, much like the ends of a jumper cable that runs up and under my pant leg. This cable is clamped firmly to my testicles. The cable runs backstage, connected to 47 General Motors Hybrid car batteries. The batteries are connected to a lie-detector machine. The lie-detector is connected to me. This is not any run-of-the-mill lie-detector. Any microscopic rise or fluctuation in my pulse rate, body temperature or perspiration due to the any falsehood or transgression will register and send a Chris Christie sized half-second jolt of voltage strong enough to stop a charging elephant. This lie-detector has been been employed by Walmart, Chick-Fil-A and Koch Industries to vet, weed out and select only the best, brightest and purist of worker for these corporations. This very model we are using tonight, was loaned to us by a former Vice President who used it on "the help" to entertain his hunting buddies at his retreat.
In the spirit of full-disclosure and complete-transparency, last week I contacted Mitt Romney and explained the details of using a lie-detector for this debate. I extended an open invitation for Governor Romney to equally participate, to erase any doubt, any confusion or misrepresentation of facts, or shake the Etch-A-Sketch pure by having a high-voltage cable attached to his testicle balls…
He declined. Then he accepted. Then he declined. Then he retroactively accepted. Finally, he declined to accept.
Earlier tonight, we tested the lie detector on myself to see if everything was up and running. I was asked a series of questions. To one I responded "I did not inhale." And folks let me tell you, let me reassure you, General Motors is up and running.
Since that day I took my Oath of Office, my pledge, our commitment to truth, to equality and justice has never wavered and tonight is no different. So Madam Moderator bring on the questions and may the truth set us free.

TribecaMike October 17, 2012 at 3:14 am

We built this city on rock & roll. Or at least Chuck Berry and Bo Diddley did.

mudsharc October 18, 2012 at 10:24 pm

Stunning, finest prose I've read regarding this parade of prevarication. It should be mandatory and turned up to 11 and questions random and spontaneous. If th speaker goes over the 60 second time limit…automatic galvanization. That would make it both entertaining and educational….of course, that's just my opinion.

WinstonK3 October 16, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Tonight we will discover once and for all if Romney or Obama is the greater master 'bater.

bearperney October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

I refuse to surrender my title to either one of them!

NellCote71 October 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Where's Baconz?

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 8:37 pm

"Rebecca is blogging from a velvet couch while smoking a cigarette out of a long black holder."

At long last I am finally in love.

Isyaignert October 16, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Post a picture, pretty please???

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 8:49 pm

If I had one then I wouldn't have any time to comment.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 8:42 pm

And probably with a double shot of a good Rye.

Mumbletypeg October 16, 2012 at 8:49 pm

oh good — so we *do* get to do this thing pantless again?

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Well, there was no mention of Proper Attire in the post, so I'm assuming it's Pants Off. Traditions are important.

HistoriCat October 16, 2012 at 11:15 pm

I thought Pants Off WAS proper attire!

Mittens Howell, III October 16, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Secret video of debate prep from the Wonkette Bunker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-HDIMF344Y

I_P October 16, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Now THIS I can fap to.

/call me maybe…
//if the wife answers, just say "I'm Ginny from the IRS."

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 8:38 pm

Cry 'Havoc'!!!

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 8:47 pm

and those dogs better be a lot nastier than either seamus or bo.

Angry_Marmot October 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

… And let slip the moggies that snore.

EatsBabyDingos October 16, 2012 at 8:40 pm

I am with a 6 foot bong. It is hard to light, and my butt itches. I think I will go wash some clean pans.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Weedlord Bonerhitler?

trampndirtdown October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

You rang?

chascates October 16, 2012 at 8:40 pm

"Let the cartoons begin." –King of Cartoons, Pee Wee's Playhouse.

deanbooth October 16, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Thank you for that. I'm a-scared!

Isyaignert October 16, 2012 at 8:41 pm

What's the drinking game? I forget.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 8:44 pm

#3. Forget something: take a drink.

Isyaignert October 17, 2012 at 1:17 am

I can remember that, I think.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 16, 2012 at 8:46 pm

As it appears you've already blacked out, you're doing fine. Carry on.

GoofyMcDork October 17, 2012 at 9:28 am

Take a drink every time Mitt says "I know how to do that"

GregComlish October 16, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Unmask the Charlatan. That's tonight's goal. Stand up for facts and reality.

memzilla October 16, 2012 at 8:41 pm

Let's hope Obama is a brazillion times better than that last guy who showed up.

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

I sure hope this one has a moderator, too.

Veritas78 October 16, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Well, I'm prepared! I'm already wearing my lucky noose, I've cocked my lucky revolver, and my lucky cyanide capsule is clamped between my molars.

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 8:47 pm

i am sipping from my lucky goblet.

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 8:48 pm

SMITE and spare not!

Limeylizzie October 16, 2012 at 8:55 pm

I have my hand down my lucky pants.

starfanglednut October 16, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Your lucky hand?

HistoriCat October 16, 2012 at 11:17 pm

It's been down her pants – damn right it's lucky!

BlueStateLibel October 16, 2012 at 8:58 pm

I'm making sure not to wear pants. They never bring me good luck anyway.

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

"I'm already wearing my lucky noose"

I read this as "wearing my lucky nose".

bikerlaureate October 16, 2012 at 11:03 pm

My sister was bitten by a noose.

UnholyMoses October 17, 2012 at 9:32 am

Mind you, noose bites can be pretty nasti.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

I've been busy packing to prepare for moving back in with my parents for two weeks before moving out west for good. Tired now.

starfanglednut October 16, 2012 at 10:41 pm

Good luck with the move, sb.

Veritas78 October 16, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Plus, we've already had an earthquake here in New England this evening, just to get us in the mood.

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Oh, hell. Signs and wonders? Already?

WinstonK3 October 16, 2012 at 8:53 pm

But is Obama or Romney the AntiChrist? I'm thinking it's that negro kenyan muslim socialist, but it might be they guy with the magic undies.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Okay, what will be the probability that the topic of catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Change driven by industrial CO2 emissions will come up?

a). Slim

b). None

c). Someone in the audience will try to ask the question, but they will be ignored.

d). Someone in the audience will try to ask the question, but they will be tackled & removed by the Secret Service.

e). Someone in the audience will try to ask the question, but Mitt Romney will gesture and they will choke, lift off the ground clutching their necks and die.

f). Someone will think about asking the question, but will ask about Simpson-Bowles instead.

g). No one will care to ask.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Hah! that'll be right after the discussion about the question on marijuana.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 8:50 pm

To be fair, I've always had difficulty answering questions on Marijuana also.

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Yah, it's the Cirrina who are all stoners, anyways, maaan…

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Never trust an Abyssal Octopoid. Steal your stash every time.

emmelemm October 16, 2012 at 8:57 pm

I prefer e).

Lascauxcaveman October 16, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Yeah, it's funny (by which I mean exceedingly not funny and super depressing) that the single most important issue facing mankind in it's entire history is 'off limits' in a presidential campaign.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Yeah, not Funny Ha-Ha, but Funny Boo-Hoo.

mrpuma2u October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

If someone is force choked, it wasn't really mittens, that means Darth er, Dick Cheney is backstage.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 11:15 pm

There are Always Two.

Antispandex October 16, 2012 at 8:44 pm

How, exactly, do you win a debate? I need to know what to look for. I know there is no score….is it kind of like being elected prom king / queen? Is it something you just KNOW? I have to be honest….I may not watch this awesome display of mental and verbal combat. I know. I'm going to hell.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 16, 2012 at 8:52 pm

If the black guy frowns, he loses.

PennyDreadful October 16, 2012 at 11:09 pm

But if he grins, he's suffering from dementia. Or does that only apply to the Irish?

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 8:53 pm

you will know as soon as the media tells you who won.

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Whoever Fox decides is least uppity, wins.

DailyGrumbles October 16, 2012 at 8:44 pm

You're Norv Turner. How do you keep from blowing a 24 point Halftime lead, Hotshot??? Follow up: Favorite Beer? Go!!!

Blueb4sinrise October 16, 2012 at 8:45 pm

At this time I would like to apologize to Hillary for my earlier cynicism at the timing and wish that she had proclaimed her responsibility for security. She did. At the time. According to Meteor Blades at Teh GOS.
Wasn't much mentioned in the liberal press.

Joshua Norton October 16, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Every time Candy Crowley says something to piss you off, take a shot of Rebel Yell. I'm half blotto just thinking about her and she's not even on the air yet.

Blueb4sinrise October 16, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Yep, jes wut Ah wuz thenkin.

Mumbletypeg October 16, 2012 at 8:47 pm

I was thinking (nay, hoping) Ken Layne might pop his head back in the door.. to pronounce Obama orally weak…

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 8:48 pm

I'm just going to toss back enough scotch to numb my brains up real good and see how long I can stand to watch this thing.

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 8:49 pm

As I was sayin'……."Mr. Mojo Risin "Mr. Mojo Risin"…..

Blueb4sinrise October 16, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Not sure I can watch the town hall. But will have a shot every time one of you posts Oh for fucks sake or some variation, at a question Candy chooses to pose to the candidates.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 8:54 pm

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE

AlterNewt October 16, 2012 at 8:56 pm

JESUS H CHRIST ON A RAFT!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 8:58 pm

FUCK A DUCK

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

OH FOR SUCK'S FATE

OK, wait…

Blueb4sinrise October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Wait…candy as in Candy Crowley? Oh for fuck's sake, my poor liver (and yours!).

redarmyzombie October 16, 2012 at 10:14 pm

OH FUCKING FUCK!!!

kittensdontlie October 16, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Tonight we will find out if Barry is just not that into us anymore. Remember, no tears…he's to blame, not us.

pdiddycornchips October 16, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Gawd, 2016 is a long time away, he better show up

Schmannnity October 16, 2012 at 8:51 pm

I hope Obama comes out in his witch doctor outfit I've been seeing so much of lately and see if Romney has the nerve to mention it. 90 minutes of stuttering robot. Good times.

Limeylizzie October 16, 2012 at 8:53 pm

That would be excellent.

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 11:05 pm

I trust "Doctor Obama" with my health way more than "President Romney"

Lascauxcaveman October 16, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Wow. What an image. Genius!

SNL would totally do that, if it had any balls. And all it's writers were Wonkette commenters.

Schmannnity October 16, 2012 at 11:32 pm

Hey, Lorne Michaels, I'm available.

mavenmaven October 16, 2012 at 8:51 pm

A shot for every Romney Libya reference?

deanbooth October 16, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Two shots for every labia reference.

Zango Crudmonger October 16, 2012 at 10:14 pm

One for major, the other for buttsechs.

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 8:52 pm

i think i want cool barry to show up. not professor barry, but cool barry that told us all to chill. miffed will look like a hyperactive pekinese.

or i maybe that empty chair guy who was swearing all the time. i could also work with that.

BlueStateLibel October 16, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Oh boy, we get to hear questions from the average undecided voter – in other words, it'll be a mouthbreather fest.

Lascauxcaveman October 16, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Seriously. 'Undecided' at this point is just another synonym for unaware, uninterested, uncaring, uneducated, unmotivated…

Stevola October 17, 2012 at 12:56 am

Untruthful

Fare la Volpe October 17, 2012 at 8:45 am

Undead.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 8:52 pm

I heard Mittens will institute Mormon law if elected and will ban alcohol, caffeine and nicotine. That's what I heard, anyway.

no_gravity October 16, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Then we all get baptized.

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 8:58 pm

He's never denied it.

Mittaplasia October 16, 2012 at 9:00 pm

He will dig up 'yer granny and baptize her, too.

rickmaci October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Good for the magic underwear makers in China, huh?

MilwaukeeKent October 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Seems to be the rumor down South, from what I hear.

Schmannnity October 16, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Alcohol, caffeine, and nicotine. Isn"t that a line from The Sound of Music: these are a few of my favorite things?

insidebeltway October 17, 2012 at 6:07 am

You forgot porn.

Close_Read October 16, 2012 at 8:52 pm

I am carefully preparing by not turning on my TV or radio at all. I can't bear the thought of another Barry fail. I will walk my dog, hope and pray that he's doing well, against Professor Harold Hill, and then, maybe if I can bear it, come back later and take a peek. Please keep the Wonkette warm for me while I am off in denial.

viennawoods13 October 16, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Hey. Harold's ok.

Lascauxcaveman October 16, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Yeah, remember, Harold Hill, in the final analysis, was actually motivated by his very real love of music.

Mitt just loves himself.

Limeylizzie October 16, 2012 at 8:53 pm

I really hope Michelle just cold punches that nasty cunt, Ann Romney, in the vagina.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Michelle won the brownie contest!

Limeylizzie October 16, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Of course she did.

JadedPreppy October 16, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Ann was looking extra catty on C-Span a few minutes ago.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:00 pm

What – was she caught swallowing another rodent again?

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

I thought it was frogs…

EatsBabyDingos October 16, 2012 at 9:12 pm

But not Mitt's meat puppet: Mormons don't do that.

Lucidamente1 October 16, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Do Mormons have vaginas?

thebeatgoeson October 16, 2012 at 10:28 pm

God, I love this comment!

Limeylizzie October 16, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Why thank you so kindly!!

LibertyLover October 16, 2012 at 8:54 pm

How generic is the audience?

Mittens Howell, III October 16, 2012 at 8:55 pm

CNNeric.

Mittaplasia October 16, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Seemed to be mostly Caucasian persuasion from what I saw.

Chow Yun Flat October 16, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Janet Brown of the Committee on Presidential Debates (I am watching CSpan online) might have washed (or even combed) her hair before going on TeeVee.

LibertyLover October 16, 2012 at 8:55 pm

No opening or closing statements? Does that mean that Obama can't call out Romney's lying from the beginning?

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Did they cut off Candy's mike? That's a good start.

pdiddycornchips October 16, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Two Tequila shots for every time Romney says "that's not my plan". Bong chaser if it is his plan and he's lying about it.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 16, 2012 at 9:00 pm

I can't tell when he's lying because I don't know which of his conflicting statements he considers to be the truth

pdiddycornchips October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

All of them Katie

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

You can tell when he's lying 'cause his mouth is moving.

FeloniousMonk October 16, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Candy Crowley tells everyone to turn devices off. Someone turns off her mike. Great start.

YouFail4eva October 16, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Can we just escort her out of the forum?

Not_Mother October 16, 2012 at 8:57 pm

CNN is discussing the pros and cons of Michelle Obama and Ann Romney both wearing pink. Emmy stuff.

Wadisay October 16, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Barry is taking his last sniff of glue now.

YouFail4eva October 16, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Let me help you Pres. When Romney comes out, just start by kicking him in the nads. This will set the rest of the night!

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Jeebus, poor Prez..the pressure he is under right this minute. I hope they gave him some nice "Dr. Feelgood/JFK uppers circa 1961 White House

Mittens Howell, III October 16, 2012 at 8:57 pm

"Please, turn off your devices."

Mitt: Ddrrrr……..noooo ….whhhrrrrr ….

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 8:57 pm

I see Generic People.

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Okay, Barack, a few pointers:

1. No more "uh"s to feel space between thoughts and sentences. Silence between words in a debate is golden.

2. On your body language, you have the tendency to shrink and apologize with your body. Do not do this. Lean into your rebuttals.

3. Never, I mean NEVER, use the word "agree" when referring to your opponents policies. Never. Just stop it.

All that said, go out their and murder that fraud…with swing state votes enough to burying all the elephants in Africa.

Chow Yun Flat October 16, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Word.

CthuNHu October 16, 2012 at 11:24 pm

And no, Barack, there is no "but I'm gonna differentiate us a little bit in a while, after I ingratiate myself" exception to #3. The sole permissible exception to #3 is the following:

"There are a number of major statesmen and military figures who agree with my opponent's policies. Or at least there used to be, before we hung them at Nuremberg."

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 11:27 pm

Thanks for bumpbing this back up, because he kept the "uh"s to a minimum, he TOTALLY scored on the body language portion of my test, and I think he said the word "agree" in regards to romney's policy points maybe once. He surpassed my expectations, that's for damned sure.

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 8:58 pm

i long for the days of maccain wandering aimlessly around stage and making funny faces at bamz' butt.

Joshua Norton October 16, 2012 at 8:58 pm

And now a shout out to all my relatives back east who usually can't wait to send me snarky emails every time we have an earthquake in California. How does it feeeeel?

Watch out for the aftershocks. They can be a bitch on wheels.

Chow Yun Flat October 16, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Going with debate audio and Tigers/Yankees video. Verlander looks like a monster again.

Ruhe October 17, 2012 at 9:01 am

Look for A-rod to have his townhall question delivered to Mitt on a baseball.

savethispatient October 16, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Pre-debate political ad in Seattle for David "Val" Kilmer for Congress. I assume as he didn't mention a political party he's a Republican.

emmelemm October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

I've been seeing those too, and wondering, is he a Democrat or a Republican? I mean, on the one hand, as you said, if they don't say, they're probably an R. But he says both his parents were teachers. (Both my parents were teachers.) That's usually a recipe for Democrat. So I remain confused.

As I clearly don't live in his district, I'm too lazy to Google it.

Lascauxcaveman October 16, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Right on the parents being teachers, wrong on the 'R' after his name. Born and raised in my hometown, he is very, very much a Democrat, and he is going to be the next congressman from my district (Yo! The Big Six! As in the crib of Norm Dicks!).

-I'm Lascauxcaveman and I approved this message

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 8:59 pm

time to start compulsively refreshing!

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Refresh! Drink!

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

I can't keep up! It's all new when I refresh.

BlueStateLibel October 16, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Is this tag-team format? I could do with Uncle Joe "just showing up" to calm my nerves.

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:00 pm

With a foldable chair. You know, for freedom or something.

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 8:59 pm

If this doesn't become an Obama rout I'll have to drink even more. I am prepared.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Not word has been spoken yet… drink!

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:00 pm

have been. will be.

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:00 pm

hey hey wonketeers! Is this the place? So, I bought a bottle of Proseco on the way home from work and, wow, it's already all gone, so all I've got now is beer. I cannot imagine watching this thing without being here. Let's do it BARRY!

Zango Crudmonger October 16, 2012 at 9:39 pm

yes R#####trd. TR!!!!!!!G PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPalin (will this get through?)

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Alrighty my friends, here we go again… I have surrounded myself with soft things for throwing because I am NOT replacing a tv just cause Mitt Romney sucks balls. Let's go let's go let's go!

AlterNewt October 16, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Soft things? Never mind. Tell us later.

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Thank you! Good night!

What, too soon?

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:01 pm

LONG ISLAND!?!?!?! ALL THESE FUCKING PEOPLE ARE FROM LONG ISLAND????

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Yeeeaannnnh. Awwwwwl of them.

johnnyzhivago October 16, 2012 at 9:01 pm

It's going to be interesting! Will Obama just say "fuck you all – see how you like having this empty suit as your president, I'm going back to Hawaii" or will the Mittbot just plain hang on it's new "audience empathy" routines.

pdiddycornchips October 16, 2012 at 9:01 pm

It's about to start and I feel like puking. That could be the scotch talking but I don't think so

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:02 pm

A few demerol will help you with that.

pdiddycornchips October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Should I snort it or just mix it into the scotch?

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Why choose? Do both!

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:01 pm

The debate hasn't even started yet, with just Brian Williams jabbing on on my TV, and 87 comments already? Damn you people talk to much.

AlterNewt October 16, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Shhhhhh!

bobbert October 17, 2012 at 3:02 am

Aaron?

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:01 pm

My stomach is in knots.

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

yes.

johnnyzhivago October 16, 2012 at 9:01 pm

I can't watch!!!!

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:02 pm

S'okay, just hang and drink.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Kathy Bates?

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Undecided voters, really? Can't the questions be asked by people who are not, you know, morons?

Mittens Howell, III October 16, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Jalapeno cheetos, this shit is fucking ON!

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Come on, Barack! Make my sitting through this bullshit worth it please.

johnnyzhivago October 16, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Is that stage filled with red dry ice or something? Looks weird!

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 16, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Every time either candidate says "I met a voter in [swing state]" chug a local beer, now made in China.

Wadisay October 16, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Whoa, Candy is wearing a nylon stocking over her face.

BarackMyWorld October 16, 2012 at 9:02 pm

This debate needs at least one "Because FUCK YOU, that's why!"

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 11:35 pm

"Fuck you! That's my name! I'm the President!"

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Steve Schmidt obsfuscating/vomiting in his mouth AGAIN!

johnnyzhivago October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Fuck you. Fuck you too!

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

I did not know Candy had done that to her face.

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

She certainly made some sort of mistake there, no doubt. And that girlie hair? I do not want to smell sex and candy there, not none at all. Yick.

imissopus October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Time to cock-punch Romney. With votes!

Chow Yun Flat October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Good intro by Crowley. She should quit while she is ahead.

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Prez doin' "the walk" good start!

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

How do you get seats to a deal like this?

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Bamz looks ready.

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Obama sat first. He loses!!!!!

Designer_Rants October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

I yelled out "NO!" when he did that.

GregComlish October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

God I can't take any more of this inane bullshit pre-debate analysis and the equally inane "centrist" lauding of idiotic "undecided" voters.

cromiller October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Will YouTube be asking any questions tonight?

AddHomonym October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Will there be questions from Twitter? Pleez pleez pleez!?!?

Designer_Rants October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

"I smoke #weed and want #weed 2b #legal. Who's gonna do that and get my vote if I don't forget 2 #vote?"

SexySmurf October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Here's what Obama needs to do:

1. Wear a red tie. The red tie increases confidence (true fact!)

2. Have Biden do the debate.

What not to do:

1. Don't have Biden wear a red tie; he'll probably strangle Romney with his own arm.

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

east coast representin'

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

I'm watching some Newfie ex-fishermen shoot icebergs with a high-velocity rifle.

It's about all I can handle right now.

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Why do they always have a guy with a clammy hand-clap right next to the microphone?

James Michael Curley October 16, 2012 at 9:03 pm

That's Candy Crowely is glistening. As in the ham glistened with the honey glaze slowly forming a succulent in the over heated oven.

Designer_Rants October 16, 2012 at 9:13 pm

I said she's got extra-fancy hair today. My wife asked if she's a linebacker.

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Student wants to know how to get a job. What kind of college did he go to? And how much did the Romney campaign pay him for that softball?

johnnyzhivago October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Oooo…. Mitt personalizes, should have learned how to pronounce LONG GUYLAND!

Mittens Howell, III October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Well if you have to read your question off a card, yeah, you have little chance of gaining employment.

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

No way Jeremy is from Lon Guyland.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Please raise my taxes since I'm working 3 jobs!!

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Mitt can't answer the kid.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

"Hi Jeremy — if I'm elected you'll have a wonderful career in the Army. It would help if you learned Farsi. Just kidding — we're just gonna make them speak English."

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Ooo, Romney mentions student loans. Barry's got this one.

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Watch Romney walk out to the edge of the stage. Shades of debates past.

imissopus October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Oh God is every questioner going to have that hint of an obnoxious New Yawk accent? Crap.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

HOFF-strah!

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Mitt feels your pain, poor students!

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

So we have to make sure nobody gets student loans.

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

i cannot stand listening to this man i really don't know if i will make it thru this debate but i will try.

Mittaplasia October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

No more Mr. Nice Guy, Bams…gloves off! If all else fails, go ooga-booga on Robme's ass!

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Liberal Massachusetts!

johnnyzhivago October 16, 2012 at 9:04 pm

We need parents to stop being so fucking stingy and paying for college instead of forcing kids to get loans!

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Jeez kid, if you want to be successful just inherit a bunch of money

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Nonanswer.

Mittens Howell, III October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

A scholarship, and a hair cut.

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Holy fuck this dick is full of shit.

emmelemm October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

If your dick is full of shit, you might want to consider seeing a doctor.

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

If we were paying any attention you'd have 200 upfists.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Mitt really cares about unemployed young people, really! But yet his programs would make it a lot harder for people to get jobs.

redarmyzombie October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Liar, Liar, pants on fire…
Is it a good thing I can no longer hear the words coming our of Willard's mouth?

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

What the hell?! Mitt's now in favor of Pell grants? Oh — probably if a private middleman administers them so it's a giveaway to the banks. What bullshit.

Chow Yun Flat October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

What is this Romney love for Pell grants? He wants to cut them to shreds.

Joshua Norton October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

I just want Barry to walk over and pimp slap Mittens one time.

johnnyzhivago October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

What about that $25k loan from your parents to start the next Facebook!

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Did Mittens say "you people" MAJOR fuck up. Hello, Prez ad!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

So Romney is in favor of giving free public college education to the top 25%. Does anyone really believe that?

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Thank you all for being here.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 11:40 pm

And thank you, Radio.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Danke Schoen, You Magnificent Bastard.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Yeah, yeah, Bush was a 'job creator' as well.

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Complete blather.

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

'i know what it takes to create good jobs again'

CHINA!

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

So….what does it take you stupid dumb fuck????

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Awkward.

EDIT: Obama's body language is already better. That's what happens when humans adress humans instead of robots.

Mittens Howell, III October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

I can't believe Obama took that swell economy away from President Bush and did all that shit to it 'over the last 4 years'.

bikerlaureate October 16, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Including the entirety of 'Fast and Furious'.

Darn him!

coolhandnuke October 16, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Shorter Mitt: "Have you considered Shanghai Tech?"

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

fuck you you tool.

ED: sorry, that was directed at "i assume i'll be president'.

johnnyzhivago October 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Of course the world needs ditch diggers too!

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Obama wearing a red tie, Romney blue. Reverse of last time. Is this some kind of bipartisanship?

Designer_Rants October 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

More debt on my back? Just as long as there's no Mitt on my back.

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

"THE VOICE" is back! Woo hoo!

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

I want to be able for you to get a job. I know how you could get a job. (You could go to China?) What the hell? Mitt knows what it takes, but ya gotta elect him to find out what it is…

cromiller October 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

…you are graduating from a college in China right?

miss_grundy October 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

I guess everything is supposed to be Bammerz fault. Rmoney is promising jobs to graduates…probably in China…

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Rmoney's already waling forward on the stage. Will Bamz walk all the way to the peeps like Clinton?

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Winning!

Wadisay October 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Created 5 million jobs in the private sector…

Jeremy has three of them.

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Detroit=bankrupt. Drink!

Mittens Howell, III October 16, 2012 at 9:06 pm

"The future is bright." Eat that shit, Romney.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Alright — Mr. Prez — hit Mitt on the let Detroit go bankrupt crap. Keep it up!

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Obama's already doing better. Bullet points. Check!

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Oooo… Detroit uppercut from Bamz!

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

a Javelin.

HistoriCat October 17, 2012 at 10:07 am

As I comb through the 33(!!) pages of comments, I really hope someone busted out a "Down goes Romney! Down goes Romney! Down goes Romney!"

Not_Mother October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Romney promies kid job in 2014, probably cleaning one of the Caddys.

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

I'm already disappointed in Obama.

I'm one of those. I need unicorns.

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Farting glitter?

bikerlaureate October 16, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Is rainbow glitter a safe assumption? Or is it gold…?

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Obama seems pretty primed. This could be great. It better be great.

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Yeah somebody lit something under his you know what, probably the Mrs.

redarmyzombie October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Oh, I do NOT want to see the wrath of an irked Michelle…

cromiller October 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Is it wrong if I kinda do?

Chow Yun Flat October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Slow down, Prez.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Hopey. Attack!
Grrrrrr woof!

Spurning Beer October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Me smart. Me go college.

imissopus October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Mittens says he knows how to create jobs. Barry then steps up and actually gives examples of how you do that. HOW IS THIS RACE THIS CLOSE??

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Classic SNL skit – "I can't believe I'm losing to this guy."

redarmyzombie October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Strange. Romney says he wants to give us jobs, and all this time I thought he wanted us to borrow 20,000 bucks and make our own.

Wadisay October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Barry is talking faster, thank God.

Veritas78 October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Well, at least he's not drunk or high on smack.

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Obama seems intense in a not good way. (No, I am not a troll.)

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Little hyper…. nervous?

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

You're not a troll, but I completely disagree.

BlueStateLibel October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Good – keep telling them how Willard said Detroit should go bankrupt.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Um, "community college" Drink! (i'm spittin' sand over here.)

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Vintage Barry. Confidence, he haz it. Nice.

JackObin October 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Will Romney only have non-drinkers in his cabinet?

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

I remember when Carter banned 'hard' liquor from the White House.

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Candy Crowley attacks!

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Let's just get this over with, shall we?

Bag the rest of the debates, put them both in a ring, give them Pugil Sticks and elect the one that comes out conscious.

My money's on Barry. I'll bet he goes completely Berserk when he gets really pissed off.

johnnyzhivago October 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Stop spending on war??? Where's the fun in that?

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

candy: be specific tool.

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

What I wanna know – Where did Bamz hide his teleprompters, hengh?!?!?! We all know he can't speak without a teleprompter!

johnnyzhivago October 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

No snark, Obama's doing great!

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Did she just call him Romley? If so, drink!

My game, my rules, bitches.

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Yeah, I'll testify.

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Moochers!

JadedPreppy October 16, 2012 at 9:08 pm

I think he lost Jeremy once he said "manufacturing".

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Concise. Forceful. Decisive. Nice contrast to the utter bullshit of Romney's first answer.

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

I hope someone tells Romney that America is aging and that's a big reason for a smaller workforce.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

There's some more Republican math.

Yellerdawg October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Question 1: How will you ensure I can get a job when I graduate?
Ans: We're going to make sure you get a job.

Objection! Non responsive.

bikerlaureate October 16, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Trust him – he's a bishop.

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Mythical employment numbers…..

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Fuck you Mitt. Kick him Barry.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

You know who else had a five point plan?

Mittaplasia October 17, 2012 at 11:53 am

That other Mitt guy that debated Bams a couple of weeks ago?

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Mitt lies! Unemployment is now lower than when Obama took office during the Bush recession. DRINK!

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

That's right!

Oops!

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Jeremy the Student.

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

5 point plan, 12 million jobs, 1 big fucking liar. Give it a rest already Mitt.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

First we take the company! Then we take Detroit!

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Then we take Berlin!

Spurning Beer October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Twelve, no ninety-teen million new jobs, I know how to do it.

Chow Yun Flat October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Romney has NOTHING. Same blah, blah, blah and lack of affect that he always sounds like.

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Lies! Lies! Lies! on Detroit, Prez call Mitt on this now!

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

And Candy jumps in — what about the long-term unemployed who need jobs now?

Mitt — there are long-term unemployed who need jobs now. Bullshit statistics, five-point plan, 12 million jobs (the same number of jobs that economists predict will be created anyway). And Mitt's bullshit Detroit rebuttal, when there wasn't a buyer for GM at the time the Fed bailed them out.

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Romney is rambling.

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Ahhhhh he's such a prick on a stick. It's unreal.

Mittens Howell, III October 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Keep up with the bankruptcy talk, Mitt. Worm's burrowing underground, fool.

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Romney says "12 million new jobs in four years". But Ezra Klein deconstructed that just before the debate.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Bankrupt the whole fucking USA then!

Veritas78 October 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

One point plan!

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Romney: Obama said I wanted to take Detroit bankrupt. That's right.

Yes, us Michiganders caught that, Willard. You can't take it back.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

"What Mitt Romney said just isn't true" – yes, call him the lying liar who lies that he is.

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

YES BARRY.

redarmyzombie October 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Oh, I am liking this thus far…

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Oh my goodness — Barack Obama showed up to this debate. Okay I didn't think he was really that bad last time, but he's coming out swinging tonight.

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

I recognize that guy.

Not_Mother October 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

"that shellac-haired cocksucker over there dares to say government has exploded in size under me! His rich friends got government bailouts and gave themselves bonuses with it, and yet I'm the socialist because I think people should buy health insurance? Fuck, how many lies can you take?"

TribecaMike October 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Take my Detroit bankrupt, please.

Lucidamente1 October 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Barry, you're on Long Island. Call Romney a lying douchebag and the crowd will be eating out of your hand.

TribecaMike October 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Joey Buttafuoco libel!

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

go barry go barry go.

what's he looking like – i'm radio / wonkette only.

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Lookin' good, zingin' the Gov on facts.

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Fact check that slime bucket slime Mittens!

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Come on hit em! One point plan! More please!

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

THERE! What Mitt says just isn't true. He's gonna have to say that a lot tonight! He has a one point plan! BUUUURN. Okay, looks like he is doing this thing. Way to learn from OHJoe, PresO NICE!

Chow Yun Flat October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

WHAMO!! Gov. Romney doesn't have a five point plan he has a one point plan–cut taxes for the wealthy. Stomp the fucker, Mr. President.

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Obama's bringing it (so far).

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Romney's secret job plan = McCain's secret Osama plan?

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Ooooh, hit him on vulture capitalism!

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Get 'em Barry. Mitts want to cut taxes and make more money for his rich friends.

pdiddycornchips October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Ouch!! He's kicking him in the nutz with steel boots.

Blueb4sinrise October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Better question. Long term un-employed………
breathe instead of drink

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Don't let him have it!

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

That's right, Candy. Regulate that shit.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Thank you Candy

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

"We have fought for the last four years to get out of that mess — the last thing we need to do is to go back." Yay! And here comes Mitt, being a petulant child.

Wadisay October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Way to go Candy, kick him in the cunt!

just_a_head October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Yes! Keep it rolling!

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

"Governer, you have a 1 point plan!" Ed Schultz changes out of trouser pair #1….

Lucidamente1 October 16, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Ed's not wearing pants for this one; makes things easier.

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

The Crow!!1!

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

yeah that's right – shut em candy! excellent well done.

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Oh Candy-o! Shut Romney down!

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Every questioner has glasses!

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Nerdapolooza!

JustPixelz October 17, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Mayor Bloomberg's ban on contact lenses is having an effect.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

"Candy, what Governor Romney said just isn't true"

The Worlds Most Useful Sentence, right now.

JustPixelz October 17, 2012 at 12:52 pm

I say that all the time. Obama should pay me a royalty.

redarmyzombie October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Oh ho ho, is it just me or did she totally just blow Willard off?

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Totes.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:12 pm

She did! No Meet The Press, let the Republican run all over the place asshole here for once.

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Prez/Crowley OWN the stage!

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:11 pm

All right Candy don't let that slime bag run over you.

mavenmaven October 16, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Yay, Obama attacked. Hope he keeps it up.

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Romney is so rude and disrespectful. Interrupting! Does he have dementia? Or is he drunk?

Yellerdawg October 16, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Barry already seems more on his game.

Mittaplasia October 16, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Where's the bouncer? Romney tried to RAMROD the debate again….Drink! Smoke! Boo and Hiss!

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Candy Crowley does not care for your bully tactics, mittens. Stifle!

Chow Yun Flat October 16, 2012 at 9:12 pm

At least Crowley isn't getting steamrolled like Jim Lehrer.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Hey, that's a pretty fucking white-looking group of folks ya got there!

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:12 pm

someone please tell me romney's looking as petulant as he's sounding.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm

yep.

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Yes. And I'm about sick of that surveyor's mark on his flag pin.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

You can watch on CSPAN, they're live streaming.

It's really slow loading, though. Probably loaded up with Breittards and Freepers.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Coal is dirty, BTW.

squirmisher October 16, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Bammerz has a spine tonight, hooray.

Also Romney is practically glowing on my TV, I think he's pregnant, or a gay vampire.

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Barry's not touting fracking, is he?

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Good gravy it's so nice to see a president who's not afraid to take pride in his liberal policies — it's been what, twenty years since a president increased fuel efficiency standards, and so doubling them is not small potatoes.

MilwaukeeKent October 16, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Barry, "No more Mr.Nice guy" seems to have brought it. I woke up full of piss and vinegar today. Hope the Prez did as well. Seems like a solid maybe.

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:13 pm

That's right. lower the per-capita consumption and make what is needed a domestic resource.

BarackMyWorld October 16, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Barry's off his rocker with this natural gas bullshit.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Candy Crowley is no David Gregory. Thank gawd.

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Dammit Barry, point out that Romney wants to repeal the clean energy credits while leaving the oil credits in place.

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Obama Wins!!1!

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Nice explanation of our energy policy, Mr. President. Really.

Romney only has the old energy, Obama is transitioning us.

pdiddycornchips October 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Romney looks pissed. This is good

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Jeremy has just hijacked this old rodeo!

AlterNewt October 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm

DRINK! Wait…don't drink. Okay…DRINK!

Yellerdawg October 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Damn! You made me drink twice.

Spurning Beer October 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Hey Jeremy, still paying attention?

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Did I hear 'Bachmann range'?

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Don't you want to leave the gubbermint out of everything new libertarian Mitt? Phoney! Who are you tonight??????????

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

God how I hate the motherfucking Willard.

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

What is it with Republicans and wanting to drill in our national parks? Who the hell does this sound preferable to?

Dick.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Romney: DRILL IN YELLOWSTONE WOOHOO!

FUCK THOSE MIGRATORY BIRDS

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Yikes! Five pages already — can the Wonkette infrastructure hold up for 90 minutes?

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Mitt, you're full of crap. Why don't we drill for as much oil on federal land? Because half of those leases are deepwater. Remember BP? Fuckin' liar.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Clean energy will create jobs and lower gas prices, stick him with the facts! And Romney just counters with "but he won't let companies destroy federal land!"

Mumbletypeg October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

I just can't see this mannequin belting out "Drill Baby Drill!"

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Romney wants to drill in Yosemite.

lulzmonger October 17, 2012 at 12:49 am

Hey, Armageddon's already 25 years late, & that supervolcano won't erupt itself, ya know.

Not_Mother October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

the red mead shit ain't working willard

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Because 20 or 25 children, um I mean birds were killed

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Mister Gas?

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Romney's bringing out some oil vs. birds bullshit argument from the '80s.

WordSaladNation October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

OH MY GOD. I am here! I was masturbating to my tax returns, but I'm here! Now Mittens is talking shit about oil or whatever.

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

I wish Romney could feel me flipping him off right now.

AddHomonym October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Romney hates birds!

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Especially, Big Bird!

johnnyzhivago October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Nu-cul-or???

Spurning Beer October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Mitt is Mister Gas.

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Mr. Hot Air, at least.

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Romley correctly pronounced nuclear, so a lib plant, obvs

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Not Mr. Oil, Mr. Gas or Mr. Coal?

GOOD!

Coal's fucking death.

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

We've had 4 years of policies? What? The Congress made it their ONLY job to make sure NOTHING Pres O tried to do happened, so keep on with that Mitt, you sound brilliant.

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Mr. Gasbag = Mittens!

HRH_Maddie October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

In my expert political analysis, Mitt Romney is coming off like a real dick.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Yeah, we can be just like eastern Europe, with lots of pollution, nasty environmental problems, drill here.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

I got my cheerleader outfit on, I'm drunk on home made beer (IPA) and I'm jumping up and down in my TeeVeee room shouting…

Punch him in the ball
Tell him he's your bitch
Raw raw raw
Punch him in the other ball!
*splits*

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Please Mitt, save my jerb! Washing your limousine.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Hey, Mitt, if that's who you really are, how about you tell the kids on the West side of Chicago who are dying from asthma about how much we need more coal fired plants.

Mittens Howell, III October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Mitt Romney bites pigeon head off to emphasize his point. Fuck, this guy's good.

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Then breaks into the chorus of Crazy Train.

MilwaukeeKent October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Romney? He'd force the help to put on a geek act for his amusement.

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Romney looks unsteady.

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Who does he think this shit appeals to? Even people who want more dirty energy don't crow about more drilling. They couch it in more flowery language.

coolhandnuke October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Look at all the whiteys on stage who are undecided. 32 Baskin Robbins flavors of miracle whip vanilla saltines.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Mitt: "I was in coal country — people grabbed my arms and said 'please — save my job.'"

Yeah — they were asking you to beg your friend the owner of the coal operation not to fire them for scowling when they were forced to be in your photo op.

johnnyzhivago October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Coal/Nookular 2016!!!!

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Proffessor Frink, Professor Frink, he'll make you laugh he'll make you think…

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

HAHAHAHAAHHA somebody asked mitt romney to save their job!

Mittaplasia October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Mittnocchio is getting a woody talking about gas, oil and clean coal. Drill, baby, drill!

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Just wait, he'll tell you about that pipeline.

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Keep fucking that chicken, mittens

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Big Bird?

TribecaMike October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

I got your Canadian pipeline right here, bub.

JackObin October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Governor, why do mormons have so many children, when the number one problem in the world is an excess of children?

iburl October 16, 2012 at 9:16 pm

New Rule: If some Brazilian spam monsters show up, drink their blood.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Agreed

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

KKKKKKK!

Spurning Beer October 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Fucking Mitt sounds like the way people write resumes these days. All unsupported assertions of abilities and expertise.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

"Very little of what Gov. Romney said is true" – cool.

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Every question Prez gets: "Mittens is a liar!" Ha Ha!

caitifty October 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

25 birds were killed? Was Cheney out shooting at lawyers again and missing?

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

This is going pretty well. Got his mojo back!??!!

finallyhappy October 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

I have only wonkette comments to go by as I must be out and on the road! Looks good so far!!

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Oh shit! Shit just got real.

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Rapin' — yeah!

Ha! "Very little is true." keep it up Bamz.

squirmisher October 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Is Romney Mr. Gas?

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Keep it up Mr. President! Keep it up.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

"Mr. Peabody's coal train . . . "

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Drop the coal thing, Barry….

Lucidamente1 October 16, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Tigers 1, Yankees 0, bottom of the 4th

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Thank you, Barry. Bring the fight.

emmelemm October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Bring the noise!

Doktor Zoom October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

I like this guy. I remember voting for this guy.

redarmyzombie October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Willard,
The oil from the pipeline from Canada is used for foreign consumption, not domestic, that's why it runs all the way to a port, dickwad.

MilwaukeeKent October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Oh come on, next you'll be suggesting it was timed to coincide with the widening of the Panama Canal, as if a larger class of Super Tankers at American Gulf ports would help Canadian exports of that filthy sand oil…

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

This plant kills!

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

And, it does.

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Mitt knows the owners of some coal mines.

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Romney shut down a coal plant because it kills?!? Obama just killed*.
__________________________
* with words

iburl October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Obama and Romney, please shut up about "clean coal" because we both know it's Bullshit.

glasspusher October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Word.

Chow Yun Flat October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

"Very little of what governor Romney just said is true."

That is the debate I want to see.

pdiddycornchips October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

"Here's some coal, right up your ass!!!"

coolhandnuke October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Just tell him to Frack Off Bamz

Not_Mother October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Barry lands a solid left on the coal plant

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Where is my coal-powered car, Hopey?

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Not true!

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Not true!

It's just not true!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

NOT TRUE, GOVERNOR ROMLEY!!1!!

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Prez owning the stage!

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Man Mitt is acting like a total dick now.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

It's not acting.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Oh I know; he's letting his true inner cutting-off-the-gay-kid's-hair bully show now.

JackObin October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Governor, when you travel to the rest of the world and they offer you coffee and alcohol, do you realize that when you decline, they view it a s an insult?

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Romney, STFU.

MilwaukeeKent October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Romney stepping in it. Push him Barry, he's at a tipping point.

just_a_head October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Fight! Fight! Fight!

glasspusher October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Hey kids, I have a cold, and prefer to watch Verlander mow down the yanks. I will be following the live blog here though. Thank you…and FSM bless Amercia!

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Not true Governor Romney. We have produced MORE oil – it's PRODUCTION that matters. I thought these fucks were pissed about interrupting? SHUT UP MITT he's TELLING YOU.

TribecaMike October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Candidate fight!

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Romney is so rude! Drunk. Definitely drunk.

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

They're about to come to blows!!

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

And you KNOW who's happy about that? THIS girl.

bearperney October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Oh please! Oh please!

mille derps October 17, 2012 at 12:22 am

Wind energy libel!

Yellerdawg October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Oh shit! Are you getting in my face!?!

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

What a dick! He's not your boy, Mitt! Fuckin A!

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Throw a glass of water on him!

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Production of oil on federal lands is UP.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Several of my best friends are coal mine owners.

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Governor, keep fucking that Big Bird.

JadedPreppy October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Now we're talkin'. Here comes the inner bitch and the most important reason this motherfucker can not be the leader of the free world.

smashaduck October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Don't hit first Barry. You're still black.

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Just cut him when he gets too close.

Spurning Beer October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

All of the above, Katie.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

But not solar or wind. That's evil.

imissopus October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Oh, we're not drilling more in national parks? OH FUCK THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON!

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

If production is up with fewer permits, isn't that efficiency? What the fuck are you talking about Willard. Really, what the fuck are you talking about.

bikerlaureate October 16, 2012 at 11:22 pm

I hear the navy has fewer ships than it did 80 years ago, too.

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Mitt is a raging asshole.

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

So, who do you think won the debate tonight?

Yellerdawg October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Mitt"s voice broke. He's pissed.

Spurning Beer October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

That's the free market, Mitt. You want a centrally directed economy, Commie?

Mumbletypeg October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

"That wasn't a question, that was a statement." — Mitt

I bet that schoolteacher is staring daggers at him right now.

Fairtackle October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Bam! sqar in the nutz!

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

MItt WILL FIGHT for the oil companies, you hear him? That's really great, because BP really needs someone to let them destroy the gulf moreso.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Mitt: The proof of your energy policy is what you pay at the pump.

Oh — so Dubya with his $5.00/gal gas was obviously a failure, right?

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

well played sir!

JustPixelz October 17, 2012 at 1:05 pm

In the spin room afterward, Lawrence O'Donnell asked George Pataki that very question. His answer? "That was different." Asshat.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Yes, oil from Canada. Unicorns too!

cognachas4paws October 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

I wish I had something snarky to say but all I can manage is: I cannot believe how utterly disrespectful Romney is being to the President of the United States. I realize he has no respect for him, but he should respect the OFFICE at least.

iburl October 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Fuck you with your Tar Sands shit Mittens! I have a child in Texas and I don't appreciate your cancer threats against her. O' course Obama is building the pipeline already, so we are fucked anyways.

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Romney is filibustering. Looks like Crowley's been replaced by Lehrer.

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

THANK YOU, Mr. President, on the gas price bullshit.

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

yes sir.

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

word

TribecaMike October 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Who smelt it dealt it.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

I have oil; it's from Canada, you wouldn't know it.

TribecaMike October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

It's a Québécois thang.

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Want cheap gas? Murder the economy!

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Audbile laugh! I'm fainting with excitement!

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

oh you FUCKING TOOL THE PRESIDENT CANNOT CONTROL THE GAS PRICE AND YOU ALL FUCKING KNOW IT.

FUCKING FUCKING TOOL.

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Remember how George W magically controlled gas prices? That was cool.

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Barry's got 'em laughin'!

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

best moment so far.

redarmyzombie October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

More…energy? What'chyoo talkin' about, Willard?

I don't think Mr. Romney here understands what's going on here…

WordSaladNation October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Andrew Sullivan isn't blogging now, because he's dead, from sadness.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Does Romney really think that having the extractive industries pillaging Federally managed lands and drilling offshore in Virgina is going to be popular?

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

oh! an actual zinger!

from bamz!

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Or, the 47%, if you will.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

That wasn't very clearly stated by Bammerz — what I think he meant is that nobody was buying gasoline due to the lousy economy, which depressed prices.

Wadisay October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Lower gas prices by creating a depression. Good thinking, Romney.

Yellerdawg October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Bam! Finally! $1.86 gas, yes, because NO ONE COULD AFFORD TO DRIVE ANYWHERE!!

BarackMyWorld October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Where's the secret service? Shouldn't they be stomping Romney's head in right now?

Lascauxcaveman October 17, 2012 at 12:19 am

In a more perfect world.

SayItWithWookies October 17, 2012 at 12:28 am

The teabaggers will take care of that on November 7th, ideally.

RavenRant October 17, 2012 at 12:28 am

"With votes."

JackObin October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Governor, can you promise this evening that a mormon agenda will not influence any decision you make as president?

Mittaplasia October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Gas prices were almost $5 in So Cal in October, 2008. Now they've risen to that level again, mostly in the last few weeks. I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but there's some serious price-manipulation going on.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Mommy!

Zango Crudmonger October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

You whores…

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Mittens face! Pain! Prez is winning! Use Mittens slime words against him. Do not fuck with Candy Mittens!

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Now Candy will be seen as a liberal plant.

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

GO CANDY!

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Barry ain't losin' this election. Romney, you better go suck some more Koch dick, 'cause you're going to need some money to burying this president.

EDIT: Candy "Do I Look Like Jim Lehrer?" Crowley shuts his ass down, again.

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

she's doing well (from radio – not 100% sure). she must have studied romney. she handled that well.

Schmannnity October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Great line! Romney will lower gas prices by throwing us back into a depression.

Doktor Zoom October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Petulant asshole is petulant.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

GO Candy go!

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

It doesn't quite work like that! Marry me, Candy!

Not really…

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

It isn't that bad, don't panic.

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Romney, tryin' to rewrite the debate rules for himself! Typical!

coolhandnuke October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Hit that brat with your Candy cane.

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

He got the first … I get the last.

BS,

imissopus October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Mitt is such a petulant little fuck. God I hate him.

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Shut him up Candy!

johnnyzhivago October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Romney: A true WindBag!

Spurning Beer October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Give that cunt a fucking haircut, Mitt.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

That fucker Romney is trying to hijack the debate again. I hope Crowley shuts him down.

Yellerdawg October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Mitt just admitted to being windy.

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Mr. Gas.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

MItt "I don't have a policy of stopping wind jobs in Iowa."

Bullshit — he went to Iowa and said he was going to end the tax incentive for wind power. Liar.

AlterNewt October 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Wind jobs? How does that even..?…never mind.

glasspusher October 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Blow jobs?

redarmyzombie October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Cut him a break, he IS a Mormon after all…

glasspusher October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Now we know why he's against them.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

I drove through those wind farms in Iowa. They're huge.

StillGoinGreen October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Now, he just looks like a DICK. Kick his ass, Barrah!

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Romney finally shut up and is just sitting there smiling. Fox is gonna kill him* over that.
___________________________
* with chyrons

TribecaMike October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

The Dubya is strong with this one.

Mumbletypeg October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Mitt should be declared Loser just on the basis of his asinine behavior on display, which is anything but Presidential; and if any Repubs doubt that, try picturing him negotiating w/ world leaders in tense situations the way he is now..

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Holy shit Mitt, YOU ARE NOT TALKING TO THE HELP! As an elected official YOU are the help. Asshole.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

The name's Follano, but I'm white. I'm possibly an Irish Catholic American. And shit, let me get my notes.

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Mitt's just a rude fuck
.

Doktor Zoom October 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Moderator uses time limit! It's not very effective!

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

He just ate some Crow.

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

He doesn't have a policy of directly stopping wind jobs, he has a policy of stopping the tax credits that creates them.

Also a policy if being a fucking dick to moderators.

squirmisher October 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Candy gave me a boner just now, shutting down Romney like that.

redarmyzombie October 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Oh come on, Mod, don't let Romney do that…

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

"Governor Romney: Is it true that you have a Huge Penis?"

Lucidamente1 October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

"Well, let's just say I have to have my tailor take my magic underwear out."

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:31 pm

"And I won a 3-legged race all by myself!"

BlueStateLibel October 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Willard coming across as washed-up game show host.

JustPixelz October 17, 2012 at 1:19 pm

washed up game show host libel!!1!

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Barry sweet talking the questioner. Nice.

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

You get more from Candy than Crow.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Go old lady; "which tax deductions, specifically, will you eliminate?" Bet Mitt won't really answer the question.

JustPixelz October 17, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I would've bet $10,000 he won't.

pdiddycornchips October 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

please, please, please, Bams, ask Romney about his tax returns!!!

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Ha ha — let's sit how Mitt evades the question of which tax breaks he's gonna cut to pay for his 20% tax cut.

stew1 October 16, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Barry's kickin' it. Mittster's gettin' weird.

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

"You're absaolutely right about part of that." Mr. Dickhead to the middle class.

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Mittens = Gordon Geckko from Wall Street

Mumbletypeg October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

"I wanna" this.. ."I wanna" that… It's like he's giving Santa his list of wanna's.

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

NAME ONE SINGLE FUCKING LOOPHOLE, MITT!

Not_Mother October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

"wind jobs" – Bill Clinton's ears perk up…

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Mitt wants to leave all the credits that people like, which leaves… umm… uhh… NOTHING left.

Wadisay October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Every time a middle income family is crushed, drink.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Answer the question Mitt! Oh he can't.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Oh, all of a sudden we need a long backstory. In a galaxy far, far away….

DerrickWildcat October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Why did Obama set that refinery in California on fire?

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

it was a kenyan thing you wouldn't understand.

docterry6973 October 17, 2012 at 1:08 am

Because he's black, duh.

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Wonkette, what's attack plan Zeta? Mitt looks like he's still stuck in Alpha.

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Mathematically impossible.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:25 pm

But even the homeless should have skin in the game. TAXES FOR THE 47%! !!!!

docterry6973 October 17, 2012 at 1:10 am

The homeless could work as human targets for the Arizona national guard. Then tax 'em.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

"I'll pick a number out of thin air! Because that's how I come up with policy!"

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

And no, he just describes his tax policy vaguely; no real answer of course.

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

The man has no answers! He answers every question by restating it, and bringing out the worst current stats he can find. Nowhere are there specifics on what he wants to do.

glasspusher October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

"I'm glad you asked that- that's a common misconception. Now, what you said is…"

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

"It's true. I have answers. Let me answer that. I have specifics. I have current stats. See, I have answers. I answered your question. With stats and specifics."

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

"Medium Income People" Mittens is so disconnected, the lingo he uses is 1% country clubspeak

Powerpuff_Grl October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

C'mon Barry – bury him with the 47% in your tax response!

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

The KFC Bucket O' Deductions from Colonel Romney!

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

With all of the secret herbs and spices he won't tell us about.

JustPixelz October 17, 2012 at 1:24 pm

Romney has a bukkake of policies for the middle class.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Oh great, I won't be taxed on the $39 I earn in interest every year.

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

What a snob!

JustPixelz October 17, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Try to remember to create jobs with your tax savings.

TribecaMike October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

There's a hole in my bucket, dear Mitty, dear Mitty.

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

He's not going to have the top percent pay more taxes, he's going to pull all the money for this shit right out of his magic underwear. CAPITAL GAINS TAXES DO NOT AFFECT HARDLY ANY MIDDLE CLASS PEOPLE YOU DICK

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

No 'death tax'! No 'unpleasant investigations' for offshore investors.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Does Mitt Romney remind anyone else of the pushiest, most arrogant Car Salesman you've ever met?

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

He doesn't even have to go "talk to his manager."

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

"What do I have to do… to get you into this New Car President Today?"

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:29 pm

He's so bad I never even dated someone like him. (A low bar.)

ChillBill October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

He's a motherfucking Nixonian snake.

JustPixelz October 17, 2012 at 1:26 pm

More like a timeshare salesman.

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Who has savings?

mille derps October 17, 2012 at 12:27 am

The Chinese & the Mormon Millionaires.

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

No tax on the majority of my income.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Mitt: "The top taxpayers are still going to pay 60%" of income tax revenues.

Duh — meaningless math — if you cut everyone's taxes by the same percentage, their proportions remain the same.

Oh, no taxes on dividends and capital gains — the poor people will benefit greatly from that.

Blueb4sinrise October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

ROMNEY TAXES LIE DISSEMBLE LIE DISSEMBLE

Wadisay October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

When Romney talks about taxes, he starts breathing heavy and getting orgasmic.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

ewwww

JustPixelz October 17, 2012 at 1:27 pm

I close my eyes and wait for it to be over.

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

This is the first debate I've been able to drink freely. Oh my God, it's so much better this way.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

No tax on dividends or capital gains – which only rich fuckers get. Those of us who are not rich don't have those things, moron Mitt.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

The tax breaks he's talking about will only help the rich.

Not_Mother October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Mitt, we don't have interest on bank accounts in this country. you wouldn't know.

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Read Mitt's lips!

JackObin October 16, 2012 at 9:26 pm

How the fuck did Massachesettes ever elect this flaming asshole?

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:31 pm

He was a different flaming asshole back then.

pdiddycornchips October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

haha!!! Anyone getting interest income is not in the fucking middle class, Bam is going to rip him to shreds here.

Spurning Beer October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Hot doggie! I earned over 20 cents on my checking balance last month. I won't have to pay any taxes on that under President Romoney!

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Did Romney just promise no capital gains tax? That's new. And certainly good news for rich people.

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Exactly! What he said was, if you make all your money from capital gains, NO TAXES! and then PROFIT!!!

imissopus October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

No, that's been part of the Ryan plan, to eliminate capital gains tax altogether. I think.

emmelemm October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Yeah, I just can't remember the last time I paid capital gains tax. Oh yeah, NEVER.

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Why am I lowering taxes on the middle class? BECAUSE I'M LYING.

glasspusher October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Correct!

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Nothing to the high end. Nothing to the middle class. Who better than the poor to pay the tab.

Terry October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

So, he'll cap deductions to a total, say $2500 regardless of what you deduct?

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

And the math will still come absolutely nowhere close to working.

Terry October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

I donate more than that in money to charities and enviro groups, let alone stuff to Goodwill or any other deductions such as mortgage, education, etc.

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Barrys kickin' it.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

And Mitt won't borrow any money at all? How does that work? How soon?

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

He's willing to make the country a loan.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:29 pm

He'll raise money while cutting taxes by magic; it worked for Reagan!

(Wait, Reagan actually created an unprecedented deficit, that only Clinton was able to fix? Let's not let facts get in the way).

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Mr. Romney, been there, done that. Sorry.

Zango Crudmonger October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

meowtual funds! Mitts is a cat person. 'splains the dawg.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Oh and Obama has cut spending, lying idiot.

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Here comes the Obama storm.

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Oh pleaseohpleaseohplease.

Fairtackle October 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm

No taxes and baby unicorns for all the children, Yay!

emmelemm October 16, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Dancing ponies for all!

Terry October 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

The Barry is back, thank goodness

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:31 pm

right?

Doktor Zoom October 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

While my laptop was starting up, Mitt dissed birds for interfering in an oil project. Has Derrick Wildcat weighed in on this?

CivicHoliday October 17, 2012 at 9:32 am

Pish posh, a few dead birds…said no coal miner ever

TribecaMike October 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Even Mitt's Grecian Formula appears to be deserting him.

NellCote71 October 16, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Oh, that's what happened to the Greek economy.

TribecaMike October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

It's the J. Jonah Jameson Effect. http://www.cedmagic.com/featured/spider-man/carto

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Reagan proved deficits don't matter!!!!

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Right O, it's not the last 4 years, it's the last 40 years.

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Ooooooo… moral obligation to tax the rich!

ChillBill October 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Dammit, Barry! Take those fucking gloves off!

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

"I'm ready to sign that bill, right now."

Damn right! Get him, Barry. Get him.

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Almost all middle class investment is already through tax-free vehicles like IRAs and 401(k)s. Romney's promise to eliminate that tax is almost completely meaningless. Then everything else was just lies.

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Show me the 2009 tax returns.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:29 pm

I think Hopey is channeling William Shatner.

grex1949 October 16, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Nice to see that Mitt is going to help that 47 percent he didn't care about a few months ago.

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:29 pm

That's my wonky prez. Welcome back, Barry.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Wow, Hofstra must be the white epicenter of New York.

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Wrap Mittens own words around his car elevator! Go!

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Question was what deductions Romney would cut. Romney didn't answer. Obama doesn't have to answer which gives him running room for … well, I'm just going to watch him run.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Hey — it's not fair to use Mitt's own words against him. If he says it's fair for him to pay lower taxes than someone making .5% of his salary, then that's just a damn lie if the wrong people hear it.

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Barry is finally fired up and ready to go! Keep it up.

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

bamz is quite on fire and is pleasing me.

quite.

Blueb4sinrise October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

pics?

grex1949 October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Tie Romney to McConnell. Go, Barry!

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

What tax plan now?

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

FTW!

HRH_Maddie October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Romney needs to take it easy with this charm offensive.

Doktor Zoom October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

I am puking from all this charm.

HRH_Maddie October 16, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Romney is more offensive than charming.

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Can I just say that I'm hearing shades of Jack Kennedy in some of these answers and even the cadence? I'm not gushing; I'm actually hearing this.

BlueStateLibel October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Mitt – "No taxes on hedge fund managers!"

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Don't listen to what Mittens "says" today listen to his past speeches/stances he is king phoney!

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Cut taxes, cut government, cut expectations.

Zango Crudmonger October 16, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Mitwizard!!!

bearperney October 16, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Exactly! No whining!!!

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:31 pm

"I'm not looking to cut taxes for wealthy people" – another bald-faced lie, DRINK!

ChillBill October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

I'm only gonna drink when Mitt lies and Barry doesn't call him out on it, which is once every 2 minutes.

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Small business. Really, Mittens? Eat me.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Yes, there is no consumer demand. The GOP does not support the average American.

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:31 pm
SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

It's great to see the DNC finally be clever and funny.

M. Bouffant October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

I'm not watching this crap & I'm reading any "Live-Buggery" about it either. I have to go out to buy some damn food before the prices go up again. And will return to watching the ball game like an American when I get back.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

"Why do I want to bring rates down" and close deductions? Mitt answers his question by saying that small businesses can keep more of their money. Uh — but if you close loopholes to where they're paying the same amount, then that's not true Mitt. You're either a liar or you know nothing about accounting.

starfanglednut October 16, 2012 at 10:46 pm

I've been wondering about that for months. What's the point?

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

OH YES MITTENS CARES SO MUCH ABOUT WOMEN. EAT ME TWICE, MITTENS. No wait, not really.

starfanglednut October 16, 2012 at 10:46 pm

He's not allowed to eat you. Mormons don't do oral sex.

Toomush_Infer October 16, 2012 at 11:12 pm

Um, on the other hand, I…… (loses focus)…

Terry October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Mitt insists he doesn't want to lower taxes on rich people, but he's offering a f'ing shell game. Their tax rate officially won't change but oddly enough they'll pay a lot less.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

That was 6 points. More Republican math.

glasspusher October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Egg: math is haaard!!!

mille derps October 17, 2012 at 12:30 am

S'okay, because it's all Imaginary Numbers…

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

He wants to freeze the %age the top 5% pays but reduce the amount everyone else pays?

Math not his strong point.

Stuff about "able to hire more" is total, complete and utter bullshit. You hire if you make more profit, that's completely independent of marginal tax rate on profit.

Spurning Beer October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Hey Mitt, the Politburo called. They want their five point plan back.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Cracking down on China?
Yeah right.

MegPasadena October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

I really hate small businesses now!

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

All of Romney's shit sounds like me-too of what Obama's already doing.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Jobs go because of you Mitt. They go to China.

JustPixelz October 17, 2012 at 1:29 pm

They also go because we like to buy cheap stuff from communists.

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Romney gets another at bat to explain which deductions he'll cut. He swings! And misses again!

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Jobs come in, jobs go out, I can't explain that!

AlterNewt October 16, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Or won't.

pdiddycornchips October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Damn, nothing about the taxing capital gains at 0%? Barry, he gave you an opening, rip him to pieces.

beezie687 October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Welcome to Columbus, editrx!

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Wonkette's comment: "Mitt is kind of a disrespectful sack of finely processed shit right now to everyone."

Amen

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Mitt: "I spent my life in Pillaging the Private Sector."

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

hahahahahhaha mitts back to total talking point and canned phrases.

awesome.

Terry October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Mitt sure does know why jobs "go", he's shipped enough jobs overseas

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Mittens is losing & Mittens is pissed, look at Mittens body language!

Yellerdawg October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Jobs are going now because you are shipping them out asshole.

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Damn right it's not settled, Mr. President. And, thanks for the set-up, Candy, if even you didn't mean to.

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Mitt: How? How? How? How?

"I know how…"

SO FUCKING TELL US. How?

Mittaplasia October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

He said "LOOK!"……shooters, all!

Fairtackle October 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Mitt walks like he has someones arm up his ass.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Romney's Lips are Moving.

coolhandnuke October 16, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Barry should spin Mitt's "Five Point Plan" into Mitt's "Five Point Pentagram."

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

999!

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Where were Bam-Bam's balls last time? Bring it president.

RaflcaFlkaFlame October 16, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Mitt looks psychotic

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

And listen closely – he's starting to slur his words. I don't think he's drunk, I just think he's tired, and lost his cool.

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:33 pm

14%!

TribecaMike October 16, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Put your hands in your pockets, Mitt you stupid dork.

JustPixelz October 17, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Stupid dork libel!!!

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:33 pm

A trillion dollars here, a trillion there; eventually that adds up to real money.

Beowoof October 16, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Oh yeah going after the no specifics and his tax rate, smack him again Barry.

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

And keep smacking.

Terry October 16, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Go, Barry, go!

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:33 pm

And Obama points out that Romney doesn't pay his own taxes, awesome.

Wadisay October 16, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Romney is squinting. He's pissed.

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

It looks like its taking every ounce of strength for mitt to keep that smile on his face.

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

A cut of 20% is much better for someone at the 35% rate than a person at the 15% rate.

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Where are Mitt's eyes? It's like they curled into the back of his head leaving empty slits.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Big bird!
Drink!

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

"Big Bird." Chugging.

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

RomneyBot is trying to smile but his face just can't make the lips and cheeks move into position. It's kinda creepy. I may need to gouge my eyes out (again).

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Obama's been taking lessons from Biden's performance. Talking to the audience? Good idea!

MilwaukeeKent October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

"You cannot debate a man who is willing to lie…" Newt Gingrich said in January — but you CAN make him lose his cool.

JustPixelz October 17, 2012 at 1:34 pm

"lose his cool"

Romney is the Fonzie of Repubican cool.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Big Bird! Migratory Birds! WHAT HAS ROMNEY GOT AGAINST BIRDS?

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Kick ass, Bamz!!

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Nice to slide in the Big Bird and Planned Parenthood bit.

NellCote71 October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

How can Romney have spent his entire life in the private sector and still have been governor of a state?

Doktor Zoom October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Nice "Mr. Businessman" bit!

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Righteously "Angry Black Man" FTW.

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Sketchy deal! Now you've hit your stride!

JustPixelz October 17, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Etch-a-sketchy.

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

go barry go.

(what's awesome is my house is open – the weather if fine here – and all my neighbors can here me cheering barry and shrieking at miffed. this is fine as i'm in chicago).

Powerpuff_Grl October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Me too – all my GOP neighbors in the OC can hear me cheer. I'll gladly listen to their tears!

Terry October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Sketchy deal! I'm singing hallelujah from the choir loft here

Wadisay October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Romney smirks. Maybe Fox news will freak out.

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 9:34 pm

ooooh Mitt's tax rates being 14% – god I love this. Go go go go go. Talking bout defunding Big Bird and Planned Parenthood and paying 15% less than most Americans? DAMN! I am waiting on Mitt to throw down his mic and yell about how he doesn't have to take this shit.

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

"you wouldn't have taken such a sketchy deal"

BOO-YA!

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

What about that home interest deduction?

redarmyzombie October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Hey, is it just me or did someone add a punch effect to 'Bammerz' spiel there?

Fairtackle October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

OOh math, goody.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

I ran mathematicians. I know how to do that.

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Mitt cannot BELIEVE that someone would try to moderate HIS debate!

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Nice frustrated impatient shrug, Mitt. Why don't you just tell Candy to shut up and listen to you?

grex1949 October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Barry hit him with Big Bird! Love it!

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Of Course they add up, Mitt says condescendingly to Candy.

Fuck you, pig.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

I was someone who ran businesses…into the ground. FTFY, governor.

Beowoof October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Oh he is so full shit it is starting come through the TV

Zango Crudmonger October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

I ran the cocklympics.

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Oh thank you, Lord, Mitt is being an ass.

Spurning Beer October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

As president, I will change the corollaries of arithmetic.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Mitt: I ran businesses! Trust me. Really, no, I don't.

Chow Yun Flat October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Of course they add up (you silly woman) sez Romney.

TribecaMike October 16, 2012 at 9:35 pm

"I AM SOMEONE!"

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

“Of course they add up.” So smug.

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

If, just possibly if, the numbers don't add up…

Of COURSE the numbers add up, I am Mittbot!

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Stutter stutter sputter stutter. I I I Balanced the budget for the OLYMPICS MOTHERFUCKERS. OH Mitt is on his heels! Kick him again PresO!

NellCote71 October 16, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Ran the Olympics on that dirty, filthy gummit money.

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

"Foreign"

Drink.

iburl October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Mitt just dropped "Foreign"

Bastard

redarmyzombie October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Yeah, balanced it by outsourcing jobs to China, Indonesia, India, etc, etc….

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

"I ran the Olympics." "I ran the state of Mass." You're unqualified, shitbag.

NellCote71 October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

I thought he spent his entire life in the private sector. Make your mind up, Rmoney.

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

"Ran business" into the ground, & destroyed the "little people"! Hey Mitt what is your real plan??? Specifics please?

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Called Obama a foreigner!

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Mitt said "foreign." drink.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Flustered Mormon Alert! Flustered Mormon Alert! Floundering!

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Willard got to imply that Barry is foreign! Drink!

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

"If I told you my real plan, I'd have to kill you!"

NellCote71 October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Eh, he will anyway. Us olds and 47%ers.

cromiller October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Ooooooh! CNN did *NOT* like Mitt's "of course it adds up" quip.

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Romney bragging about his experience balancing budgets. But he cannot answer the simple question of how he will do it.

Yellerdawg October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

i RAN BUSINESSES YOU DUMB BITCH! no,,,,I'm not crying. Leave me alone!

redarmyzombie October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Greece! Take a shot, everyone!

Yellerdawg October 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Ouzo! Where's the damned ouzo?

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Greece! The Gingrichs love Greece!

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

"I ran the Olympics (with huge federal subsidies) and balanced the budget"

"I ran businesses (into the ground and made huge profits!)"

Blueb4sinrise October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

!!!!
Can't believe he's still touting that Olympic . Fed Bailout.

No_Wire_Hangers October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

This is excruciating and what we think doesn't really matter because this comes down to the post show punditry and the undecideds. OMG FUCK MITTENS.

Not_Mother October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

"Of course they add up." I just won't tell you how. "

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Mitt can't do the Math, because there's a big-ass "???" in there.

Yellerdawg October 16, 2012 at 9:39 pm

In scientific terms; "Magic Happens."

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

I believe it's "and then a miracle occurs"

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

"I know what it takes to balance budgets — I've done it all my life"

All we need to do is pillage three countries a year for the next eight years and we're set.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

You're offsetting the reductions – with what? You still haven't said what you'll cut, asshole.

MegPasadena October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

After Spain complained about it, he went after Greece.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

jesus this is a clusterfuck

Mumbletypeg October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Mister Governor you are an Insufferable Asshole.

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

10 to 16 trillion has a lot to do with off-book expenditures by the previous administration.

FraAnima October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Road to Greece! Where's Bob Hope and Bing Crosby?

mille derps October 17, 2012 at 12:38 am

Greece is the word, is the word that you heard
It's got a groove, it's got a meaning
Greece is the time, is the place, is the motion
Greece is the way we are feeling…

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Try to bully Mitt. Candy ain't havin' it.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Sit down, you ignorant slut.

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

CAT FIGHT!

Fairtackle October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Ha! ran the olympics with unprecedented public funds.

redarmyzombie October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Oh, Romney has a Sad, everyone! Take another shot!

Did anyone else hear the sad trombone there?

ChillBill October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

YES, IT IS A FUCKING 5 TRILLION DOLLAR TAX CUT, YOU FUCKING ROBOTIC DILDO!!!

Beowoof October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

He knows what takes to balance budget, Fuck you Mitt, you bankrupted companies after you take your fee douche bag.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

I love Candy.

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm
Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Her hair looks nice.

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

"A bucket for every American! And a pot to piss away your deductions in!"

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Oh yeah, war on women time!

bearperney October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Please Mitt, give us a memorably dickish quote for a nice ad!

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

I think it was Candy Crowley NOT Martha Radizz that went to Prez's wedding! Candy is really protecting Prez & Candy is trouncing on Mittens! Bwaaaaaaa!

TribecaMike October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

I know who's going to come out ahead with this question.

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:37 pm

"Road to Greece" – Greece is being forced to enact austerity budgets, which is what Mitt wants to do.

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

I signed the Lily Ledbetter act and this dick didn't even know what that was when asked about it – ask me about equality in the workplace some more, girl, please, I am begging you.

WordSaladNation October 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

I'm really glad I'm with you guys right now. B. Barry Bamz is BACK ON THE GOVERNMENT TEAT, and by "government teat" I mean "kicking Romney's lillywhite ass."

grex1949 October 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

The audience is looking a little uncomfortable, don't you think?

Wadisay October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

The audience looks like those ceramic Chinese soldiers they dug up.

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Get it real, Barry. Talk about your mom and grandma. Hey Mitt? Got anything? No, I didn't think so.

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

God bless Tuts!

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

It's Ledbetter time!

doloras October 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

I'M MITT ROMNEY AND I'M THE REAL MITT ROMNEY, THE OTHER MITT ROMNEYS ARE JUST MASTURBATING

Doktor Zoom October 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

I believe Mr. Obama took President Bartlett's advice

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Lily Ledbetter. Bamz helped build that.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Let's talk about the American jobs going overseas from the Sensata Technologies plant in Freeport, Illinois, shall we?

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

True that.

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

oh MORE barry on target.

he should mention that paul ryan voted against LL act.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Barry knows: Chicks Rule!

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Romney is SO RUDE! Does he have Tourette syndrome?

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I think it's the meth/crack cocktail.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 16, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Wish this Obama had showed up a few weeks ago at Denver. Of course it helps that Asshole Romney showed up tonight.

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:39 pm

If I was an undecided lady this yay women talk here would woo the votes right out of me.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:39 pm

And pissed off a lot of the financial bigwigs.

Beowoof October 16, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Calling Willard on his Pell grant bullshit. Yeah.l.

Not_Mother October 16, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Romney said "I ran the Olympics and balanced the budget." Yes, with $1.5 billion bailout from the federal government.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

"In every walk of life we will not tolerate discrimination"

Why is President Obama a racist?

EatsBabyDingos October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Mitt seems like he has a tight ass, and not in the good way-I wonder how he farts without exploding.

TribecaMike October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Will Fox accuse Romney of being drunk after this?

Mumbletypeg October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

I wanna see Fox goons get Rmoney drunk.

JustPixelz October 17, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Romney's forced smile was so disrespectful. And his non-sequitor answers. Plus interrupting. If the VP debate taught us anything, the Fox doctor will diagnose dementia.

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Ya know, as far as equality goes, my wife has never worked, and I find it works better like that. Let's do more of that.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Mitt doesn't discriminate — he's given thousands of jobs to Chinese people.

sudsmckenzie October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

"I love you Women"

Spurning Beer October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

MItt's mom was a single mom doing secretarial work, too.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

oh so now Mitt is for affirmative action?

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Bullshit Mitt time! Cannot verify this bullshit Mitt "women cabinet" story. I want to see the video/audio!

docterry6973 October 17, 2012 at 1:28 am
Doktor Zoom October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

MITT ROMNEY DID QUOTAS!!!!!!!

Designer_Rants October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Affirmative Asshole.

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

My first thought. Take that wingnuts. (Although, who am I kidding. They were taught with A Beka books.)

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Bring it with the women Barry.

Oh, Mitt learned a great deal about women? How about IF THEY'RE RAPED AND GET PREGNANT, SHITBAG??

Zango Crudmonger October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

I have a binder full of women

docterry6973 October 17, 2012 at 1:29 am

I used to have a binder full of women, but now I download them from the Internet.

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Here he goes with his administration in MA. So very personal and heartfelt of you, governor. lol He could have totally talked about his mom's run for the Senate, but he goes back to his governorship in MA. Tone deaf bastard is tone deaf.

JustPixelz October 17, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Tone Def is his rap name.

Wadisay October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Binders full of women. Got to get me some of that!

grex1949 October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Send me a binder full of women, please.

Come here a minute October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Mitt likes girls, YAY! (And allows them to make dinner. Uh, thanks.)

WordSaladNation October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

A BINDER FULL OF WOMEN!

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

"I disguised myself as a woman for a year to discover their secrets…."

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Binders of women! Actual binders!

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

50 shades of soooooo wrong….

pdiddycornchips October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Binders full of women!!! Only a fucking douche bag frat boy would say something that stupid

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

"Gee whilikers, where the women at?"

"In the binders governor Romney."

ChillBill October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Keep talking about your time as a Governor, Mitt. How come you didn't run for a second term?

MegPasadena October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Mitt hired women because he paid them 70% of the man's pay.

Spurning Beer October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Also, Massachusetts has free tampon machines in the ladies' rooms.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Mitt Romney doesn't hate women, really! Dick. And he's not talking about any policy, just his own experience.

grex1949 October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

A binder full of flexible women would be nice, as well.

iburl October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Romney story about women is that he knew none and so he needed a "women's group" to help find him the women. LOL

Tilley October 17, 2012 at 11:29 am

That was pretty much what he said, wasn't it! So he had to send his girl out to find some binders full of women.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

What crap — Mitt made dinner? Credibility gone.

MilwaukeeKent October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

"Binders full of women" alright that's a take-away for me. Mitt channeling inner old Mormon.

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Mittens looks a little discombobulated, tryin' to talk about women and all.

Veritas78 October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Whole binders full of women! How exciting.

Obama has appointed women to the Supreme Court. Shut the fuck up, Mitt.

Fairtackle October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Thomas has binders full of highly qualified women.

glasspusher October 16, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Binder full of pr0n

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Boring robot story. How are you going to do it?

johnnyzhivago October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

We're going to have so many jobs – our employers will have NO CHOICE but to settle for a dumb woman to hire!!!!!!!!!!!

Beowoof October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Oh oh Willard Whoppers coming out.

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Romney says he likes women. His big policy idea: flextime. Sounds like socializm.

Tilley October 17, 2012 at 11:32 am

I loved the "flex time" bit. Like he just thought it up himself. Hey Robo-Mitt, us binders-full of women were doing flex-time back in the '70s.

He doesn't even try to understand this planet's strange human ways, does he?

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Totally, utterly, completely not answering the question.

JackObin October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Could the hair dye be leaking into his brain, or does he just need a drink? He sounds like a raving loon.

NellCote71 October 16, 2012 at 9:47 pm

And those are cocaine eyes if I have ever seen them.

Wadisay October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Romney is losing when he gabbles on with a bunch of anecdotes about how he knew some women once.

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Some of his friends also own women. Like himself.

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Fuck! Yes women need flexible hours because they have to work and make my sandwiches!! Fucking Mitt.

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

An economy so strong that even women will get jobs.

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

WIN

That's EXACTLY what he's saying.

TribecaMike October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Where's Romney? All I see is this boring accountant.

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Employers will only be anxious to hire women if they can't find any men, eh Mitt?

FUCK YOU!

FeloniousMonk October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

I do believe Romney just got out his shovel and started digging his grave on equity for women.

Spurning Beer October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Women will be able to keep more of what they earn because their birth control will be unavailable.

NellCote71 October 16, 2012 at 9:48 pm

And they will have more children so QED.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Mitt: "We want to make an economy so strong that employers are looking for employees."

Oh hey industrialists — Mitt's going to make labor more expensive. Happy?

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

That would give "You want this job, don't you?" an entirely different non-Cain meaning.

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

"While the economy's weak, men need the pay, Ladies! When the economy is growing, we'll leave some cash for you on the dresser."

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Will they take a check?

NellCote71 October 16, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Debit cards, cash or get the fuck outta here.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

I think Barry's On His Game tonight and getting in solid hits. Mitt's trying to sell it but I don't think his act's going over as well as the last time.

Raskolnikova October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm
Mittaplasia October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Mitt's "debatus interruptus" tactic is getting on my nerves (yells again at TV)!.

NellCote71 October 16, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Dog has already slunk off, no matter how many times I tell her it's not her that I am mad at.

smashaduck October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

If you looked up sociopath in the dictionary, you'd see the definition of a sociopath. Which is what Mitt Romney is.

NellCote71 October 16, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Is that what that crazed-eyed stare is about?

redarmyzombie October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

'Kay,
Is it just me, or did Romney run his mouth without actually saying a single thing just now?

Jerri October 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm

For a change?

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Which question?

Oh yeah, AOT,K.

coolhandnuke October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

And Ann pays the help equally by tossing a bag of money to them to share regardless of their lack of color or lack of sex.

Powerpuff_Grl October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

"IF you're going to have women in the workforce"?!?!?!?!

IF?!?!

Sorry, Mittens, but 98% of the women of the country are not sister wives/Mormon women who are discouraged from working.

FlyOverGirl October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Hear that, bitches? If employers want to hire us, they have to be flexible.

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

"I know what it takes! I do! Really! I'm gonna help women get work!"Look at him shaking.

cromiller October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

and we'll do it by paying them 72% of what a man would make!

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

bamz needs to come back with biden's comment: he may be personally generous but his policies SUCK.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Can't we find some women that are qualified?_Condescending Asshole.

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

I guessing that he underperformed on that.

Powerpuff_Grl October 16, 2012 at 9:46 pm

That was my immediate response.

Not_Mother October 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Stench is on line memorization now. Not working.

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm

He's trying to win the audience, not the nation.

This is good.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm

“I know what it takes!”
DRINK

EatsBabyDingos October 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Mitt loves his binders of women so much he will give them $50 off their first transvaginal probe.

Beowoof October 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm

He knows what a working economy looks like, in Shanghai.

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm

jesus, that smarmy fuck's smile is really making me stabby tonight.

NellCote71 October 16, 2012 at 9:54 pm

I have had to put all the kitchen knives in the garage. Flat screen teebees and dogs don't take kindly to stabby me.

mayor_quimby October 16, 2012 at 9:54 pm

I've buried all my knives in the garden.

Fairtackle October 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Ryan washed a pan ergo we understand women.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm

It's not just for sluts.

Zango Crudmonger October 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Kids- graduating from college, with PhD's, building the fuck outta the world…..kids. get off romney's lawn, kids.

DemmeFatale October 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Hey, little girl!
Comb your hair, fix your make up…

Ooooo, binders and binders of women!

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Slut vote!

mille derps October 17, 2012 at 12:43 am

I will! I promise!

Nothingisamiss October 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Yes! Barry brings up birth control!

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:43 pm

And now Obama goes on the offensive on birth control and abortion; it's great the Dems have finally realized this is a winning issue and not something to shrink away from.

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

The way Obama is navigating the questions to get to the points he missed in the first debate is nothing short of masterful.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

How is contraceptive coverage a jobs issue? Why, women can't even become successful homemakers as a career unless they've had a few kids.

Yellerdawg October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Did Mitt just say he skipped over qualified men to hire women? Is that a hiring quota?

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

9:38 PM: There is a question about women in a presidential debate that’s not about what men want for dinner? Huh?

That is why I cook dinner.
Haaaarumph!

rocktonsam October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

I'M NOT WATCHING OR LISTENING. I will let my Wonkados sort it out. along with the weed and beers

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Shout out for Planned Parenthood. THANK YOU BARRY.

Terry October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Good sticking up for Planned Parenthood, thank you thank you thank you

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

"Not just women's issues, they're family issues, economic issues."

Can I get an amen?

pdiddycornchips October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Romney will put all you women in binders and put you on his staff? That's just gross.

EatsBabyDingos October 16, 2012 at 9:47 pm

It's a short staff.

NellCote71 October 16, 2012 at 9:55 pm

And blinders, too.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

And Planned Parenthood rocks; I donated to them before I got laid off, so should everyone who can afford to.

BarackMyWorld October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Hey, America, remember how terrible Republicans are now?

NellCote71 October 16, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Aaammmennn.

Come here a minute October 16, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Yay PLANNED PARENTHOOD. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/donate (probably)

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Ohhhh! Daughters against sons crack, good one!

Tilley October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

"These are not just women's issues. These are family issues." THANK YOU MR. PRESIDENT.

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Love it – not women's issues, but human issues.

C_R_Eature October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Barry's reminding everyone about Romney and the Republican's ACTUAL POLICY STATEMENTS on Women's rights issues.

That's really hitting below the belt.

Tilley October 17, 2012 at 11:38 am

It's ok, there's nothing down there.

TribecaMike October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Not into rebutting that one, heh Mitt?

Negropolis October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Oh, shit! This question is EPIC.

'Bout damned time!

mavenmaven October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

whoa, a bush reference from a questioner. got to see this…

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Tell me, Weimar Germany, can I trust you?

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

"I've got daughters, he's got sons. Of course he doesn't want you worrying your little head!"

Doktor Zoom October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Kid Zoom wonders where this Barry was two weeks ago.

I do too…but damn, am I glad he showed up tonight!

NellCote71 October 16, 2012 at 9:56 pm

Given the short-term memory of the populace, this works to our advantage.

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 10:04 pm

i say again, kid zoom needs his own column on wonkette.

JustPixelz October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Question blaming Bush! OH … OH … OH.

imissopus October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Oooo, make him distance himself from W. Good one!

Serfville October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

GREAT QUESTION, LADY WITH GLASSES!

Biff October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

BUSH's FAULT-DRINK!

Not_Mother October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

"I only have 17 of 24 Bush staff–right now"

chascates October 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

NO TAKE BACKS!

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Well-designed question. So Rmoney will dodge it.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Republicans suck!
Good question.