FRUITCAKES ALSO TOO  1:30 pm October 16, 2012

American Family Association Puts End To Travesty Of Children Being Nice To Each Other

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Awwww, oh wait no we mean ewwwwwwWhat marvelous thing has the American Family Association done for Western civilization now? Oh, just succeeded in getting upwards of 20 elementary schools to drop out of “Mix It Up At Lunch Day,” an annual program that teams up kids who normally wouldn’t sit together at lunch, and makes them sit together at lunch. Does this lead to breaking up nasty cliques, and helping to fight bullying? No. It leads to butt-pirating and carpet-munching. It’s right there in the title: Mix It Up? THAT IS LIKE TOSSING SALAD, WHICH IS A THING YOU DO WITH YOUR TONGUE AND A BUTT! The one (1) school that bothered to return the New York Times’s calls on the matter said dropping the program had nothing to do with parental pressure and the AFA. No! It was just that teachers were really busy drilling the students for tests! So they couldn’t take the time away from that, to spend like 10 minutes at the outside drawing names and pairing kids up. For lunch. Which would have taken place during … lunch. Balls of steel, school! How do you fit that heroic bravery into those pants?

Do it to it, NYT:

[T]his year, the American Family Association, a conservative evangelical group, has called the project “a nationwide push to promote the homosexual lifestyle in public schools” and is urging parents to keep their children home from school on Oct. 30, the day most of the schools plan to participate this year.

The charges, raised in an e-mail to supporters earlier this month, have caused a handful of schools to cancel this year’s event and has caught organizers off guard.

“I was surprised that they completely lied about what Mix It Up Day is,” said Maureen Costello, the director of the [Southern Poverty Law Center's] Teaching Tolerance project, which organizes the program. “It was a cynical, fear-mongering tactic.”

Stop libeling the American Family Association, Maureen Costello of the SPLC’s “Teaching Tolerance” (GROSS)! After all, as we learned from Reddit yesterday, “Even if it was true, its still libel.”

“Anti-bullying legislation is exactly the same,” Mr. [Bryan] Fischer said. “It’s just another thinly veiled attempt to promote the homosexual agenda. No one is in favor of anyone getting bullied for any reason, but these anti-bullying policies become a mechanism for punishing Christian students who believe that homosexual behavior is not something that should be normalized.”

The program is not about sexual orientation but rather about breaking up social cliques, which are especially evident in a school cafeteria, Ms. Costello said.

In some schools, cliques are socioeconomic. In others they are ethnic or religious or based on sexual orientation. By giving students a way to mix with other students, self-imposed social barriers can be broken down and bullying can be curbed, she said.

BURN THE WITCH.

[Photo stoled from Sodahead /NYT]

 

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{ 216 comments }

Crank_Tango October 16, 2012 at 1:32 pm

"Teachers were really busy drilling the students." Oh I see, didn't wanna share, huh?

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 2:09 pm

On Mix It Up Day, they have to drill the ugg-os.

Naked_Bunny October 16, 2012 at 3:26 pm

One hundred boners up.

nounverb911 October 16, 2012 at 1:32 pm

So does this mean it's okay to bully Bryan Fischer?

OneDollarJuana October 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I think what Mr. Fischer really wants is a date.

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 1:32 pm

Oh my but how they do love their hate.

hagajim October 16, 2012 at 1:33 pm

AFA = America Full of Assholes….nuff said.

chascates October 16, 2012 at 1:34 pm

The AFA prefers that you send your children to Christian academies any way where they will learn the one truth path for white evangelicals.

sbj1964 October 16, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Yes children need to be taught how to hate,and Christian schools are only second to Muslims when it comes to teaching bigotry,hate,and intolerance.

EatsBabyDingos October 16, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Bryan is just mad no one wants his Vienna Sausage except Ham Biscuits, and Hammy said no because his cheeks were already full.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Vienna sausage, man thats some nasty nasty nasty shit. I knew dudes would eat sandwiches, wonder bread and vienna sausages, nasty nasty nasty. Ever look at the ingredients? Pig snouts, cow uterus, just evil, straight out of The Jungle. Only thing worse is "Potted Meat Food Product."

MissTaken October 16, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Ugh! I used to eat those little shits not realizing how horrible they were. I think I just liked that they were tiny little hot dog-like things that were LilTaken-sized. How about the Underwood Deviled Ham Spread ? I think that is truly of the devil.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Are you from Tejas?

MissTaken October 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Shockingly, no. Born and raised in California. BUT! My dad is from Alabama so I think that's how I know about this nastiness.

YouBetcha October 16, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Why do these dumb fucks even care? Don't most of them homeschool their pasty, genetically inferior spawn?

GregComlish October 16, 2012 at 1:42 pm

"genetically inferior spawn?"

Ok, you should criticize the AFA without Eugenics

Boojum October 16, 2012 at 1:46 pm

It isn't eugenics; it's the environmental degradation of the DNA caused by clean coal, pcb's, and the residue from cooking meth. That shit will grow gills.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Sounds like you've been to Louisiana.

YouBetcha October 16, 2012 at 1:48 pm

It's the inevitable result of their cousin-fucking. Have you seen these people? One shallow, murky gene pool.

GregComlish October 16, 2012 at 4:11 pm

There are a lot of Wonketteers who come from ignorant, conservative, and/or bigoted families, but got a clue later in their life. There is nothing wrong with their genetics. The Young Republican of today may one day drop the conservativism and become the defender of the indigigent and maligned tomorrow. The fault is in the thinking, not in the genes.

Geminisunmars October 16, 2012 at 1:43 pm

But they don't want that tolerance stuff spread out in the general public either. Because freedom.

GregComlish October 16, 2012 at 1:36 pm

God intended Ass Piracy to be between one Man and one Woman.

CommieLibunatic October 16, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Or between one Woman and one Woman. Lezbo bitches be hawt, y'all.

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Two Girls, One Butt?

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 2:11 pm

*lights up cig*

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Hey, now!

prommie October 16, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Amen. He moves in mysterious ways his wonders to perform.

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Stay out of Allen West's love letters!!

Doktor Zoom October 16, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Nothing in the Bible says I have to be nice to people I don't like!

SheriffRoscoe October 16, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Some passages say it's okay to enslave or kill them!

PubOption October 16, 2012 at 1:46 pm

There was that bit about turning the other cheek, but the AFA wouldn't approve of that, either.

Geminisunmars October 16, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Isn't that what turning the other cheek is all about? In order to snub someone you have to face the other way — therefore turning your cheek. That is the right and true way.

bikerlaureate October 16, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Eating at the same table as them is just a gateway activity to liking them. And then, maybe, the ghey.

ph7 October 16, 2012 at 2:15 pm

No dweebs allowed at the Last Supper table. Get your own table, freaks!

bikerlaureate October 16, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Fischer and the leaders of this hateful group really need a psychiatric intervention.

sewollef October 16, 2012 at 1:41 pm

psychiatric intervention
Isn't that what the goons over at the Pentagon refer to as a 'smart bomb' also?

MoeDeLawn October 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I think the AZ Nat'l Guard Recruiters are available for Sherwin-Williams-fueled interventions.

ph7 October 16, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Bro Jesus would never mix it up. He'd throw tater tots at the dorks, laugh, and high five his friends.

Schmannnity October 16, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Mix It Up Day has been replaced with Hold "Em Down Haircut Day.

ph7 October 16, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Everyone doesn't get a dignity trophy!

weejee October 16, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Bryan Fischer? Isn't that just Xtain dog whistle for Grand Kleagle?

snowpointsecret October 16, 2012 at 1:38 pm

Today we learn that punishing Christian students is bad, but if they're Muslim, sure! You know how much Muslims just love homosexuality!

Schmannnity October 16, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Also, no more hotdogs served in school cafeterias. It gives kids the wrong ideas.

Fairtackle October 16, 2012 at 1:51 pm

And tacos too. Ugh the gays, they're every where! get em off me, get em off me!

Barrelhse October 16, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Fruit. No more fruit.

MissTaken October 16, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Once on a school field trip I had to share a seat on the bus with a girl I didn't know because our names were next to each other on the alphabet. She wasn't gay, and neither was I, but we did share a package of cheese and crackers and then we played with our Barbies together.

Many years later I had sex for the first time, with a boy. Obviously it was the shared cheese, crackers, and Barbie dolls that made me a slut.

GregComlish October 16, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Gotta luv sluts

Boojum October 16, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Oh, the horror.

Lascauxcaveman October 16, 2012 at 1:47 pm

A cautionary tale of woe for all America!

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 1:49 pm

SHUN!

weejee October 16, 2012 at 1:51 pm

it was the shared cheese, crackers, and Barbie dolls that made me a slut

Not the alphabet? You can make-up all kinds of nasty with those perverse letters.

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 2:30 pm

The words "slut", "whore", "fuck", "orgy" and "rimjob" are all spelled using letters. I rest my case!

Geminisunmars October 16, 2012 at 1:51 pm

How sure are you, though, that after meeting you she wasn't turned into the gay?

Schmannnity October 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Why do you think they call it "spreadable" cheese?

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 1:54 pm

So that's how you became the kind of woman whose ass is displayed on Wonkette. Yay for her!

Beowoof October 16, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Some of us appreciated that display.

BornInATrailer October 16, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Wait, what did I miss???

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Go check out the bumper sticker post yesterday.

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Now show us yours, or we'll shoot you with this paint gun!! Why do you think we call it the "bum hunt"?!

orygoon October 16, 2012 at 1:58 pm

I tried that Humboldt Fog cheese that everyone got so swoony about a few weeks ago, and fuckit, I'm not sharing that stuff with anyone.

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 2:10 pm

"Barbies" being a euphemism for nipples.

Right?

Please?

OHPLEASEGODPLEASE?

PsycWench October 16, 2012 at 3:01 pm

I beg to differ. I became a slut (at least by AFA standards) even though I never liked Barbies and am indifferent toward cheese. There are many paths..

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 3:03 pm

??
I would think that playing Barbies would make you grow up into a homo, and playing Barbie and Ken would make you grow up into a slut.

Somewhat OT: My spoiled only child girl cousin not only had Barbie and Ken, she also had the Barbie Dream House AND the Barbie Corvette. The highlight of our visits was when we played Barbie and Ken Do Sex. Dialogue supplied by Cousin Fancy: "Ken, Darling, unzip my bra".

delaney_blom October 16, 2012 at 1:40 pm

According to the AFA, fruitcakes for lunch is contributing to the childhood obesity epidemic.

Callyson October 16, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Oh FFS–I just read the NYT article to try to make sense out of how you get "homosexual agenda" out of an anti-bullying initiative. It seems the "logic" is that this is an attempt to combat bullying…and lots of kids who are bullied are gay or perceived to be gay…therefore, anything anti-bullying is pro-gay!

Today, we are all gay.

Oh, and fuck the AFA, also, too.

Doktor Zoom October 16, 2012 at 1:41 pm

I was rather gay before I read about Bryan Fissure, but now I'm kinda bummed out.

BoroPrimorac October 16, 2012 at 2:39 pm

If you're against beating the shit out of gay kids, then you're a cultural Marxist who hates America.

SheriffRoscoe October 16, 2012 at 1:40 pm

On the other hand, gay kids won't have to sit through lunch and listen to Rod and Todd Flanders expound on how much they love Jesus. Glass half full.

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 1:50 pm

If only that were true…

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 16, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Sure, first theyre eating lunch together. Then the next thing you know they're blowing each other on the monkey bars. It's a slippery slope people. A big, gay, slippery slope covered in gayness!

Boojum October 16, 2012 at 1:49 pm

And very slippery, that makes them think about other slippery, hard poles that they grasp with their hands….

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm

The slope is covered in Astroglide! Conspiracy!!

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 2:12 pm

SLOW DOWN!

….each….other…onnnnnnn…the….monkey….bars.

OK, go on?

SexySmurf October 16, 2012 at 1:41 pm

If you make a jock sit with the theatre fags then he might get the queermo on him, and then when he whips other dudes with his towel in the shower or plays soggy biscuit he might enjoy it in a gay way.

kyeshinka October 16, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Just throw some Stone Temple Pilots in the mix and I'm suddenly back to 10th grade.

carlgt1 October 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm

ok, "Glee" already did this!

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 1:59 pm

And not just "Glee"… ;0)

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 1:41 pm

"No one is in favor of anyone getting bullied for any reason"

Except for you, Mr. Fischer hatemonger, who have made it clear that you are in favor of gay people getting bullied for the reason of gayness. Creepoid fuckface.

delaney_blom October 16, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Not any reason. For example, being a christian is not a good reason to be bullied. Being a gay, or perhaps worse, a gay-tolerant straight (as if such a person exists), is a great reason.

See the AFA's website for a list of acceptable bullying excuses (sluttiness, gayness, jewyness, muslimyness, brownness . . .)

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 1:42 pm

"Christian students who believe that homosexual behavior is not something that should be normalized."

See? Good Christian youngs, they aren't "bullying" gay kids, they are "ABnormalizing them" What the fuck? What kind of wretched evil people do this? Sit around and look for what they perceive as possible ways to raise money like this, by fucking with kids? This bitch talking here, she should know, her bullshit does not suit a decent, reasoning, human society, it just doesn't and THAT is why her words are twisted and make no sense. You cannot pretend to be Jesusy and loving in the way you punish people for being a thing you use to raise money over. HELL! I AM PRAYING THERE REALLY IS A HELL. oh my god this is piss me off day on wonkette. Great.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Come to the light, come on, its easy, I got ya.

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 1:57 pm

OH CHRIST you are my white-lighter, thereby (1) I have gotten WAY off the reservation crazy and (2) Fuck yeah, are we gonna have some fun or what? Just tearing shit up everywhere, like drunk American Gladiators, big foam obstacle courses be damned.
Also you fucked up my ability to change the pronouns here I got wrong with the dude acting like a dick, but I forgive you, I screw up a lot when I am ranting.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Just strap the harnesses on us, we ready to jam.

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 2:34 pm

That sounds like it'd look good on video… or, uh, I'm told some people might be into that, somewhere, yeah, that's it, some other people, not me of course.

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I'm a Christian student who doesn't believe hatred and bigotry should be normalized.

So. Sounds like an impasse.

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Aw man, if you actually follow the teachings of Christ, you must HATE these people. It gives me a headache and I'm just offended by proxy.

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I can't even begin to tell you how heartbreaking it is… :0/

PsycWench October 16, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Yeah, that's why Jesus had all those gay-hatin' parables.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 1:42 pm

I heard a comedian on Howard Stern this morning explaining that if you look at the list of the 7 deadly sins, gay sex isn't even on there, but greed and gluttony are, so, God don't hate fags, God hates fat people! Which all these fag-haters seem to tend to be. D.L.Hughley it was.

Toomush_Infer October 16, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Rush!….

Roy Hobbson October 16, 2012 at 1:42 pm

"Jesus looked upon his school cafeteria and spoke to the elders: 'I'm not sitting at the fag table, bro.'" -Ephesians 2:8-9

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 2:19 pm

"Jesus waltzed into the temple where the money changers were making mad loot. He high- and low-fived those with the crazy big profits, overturning all regulations. Then kicked his feet up on the alter and lit a fat ass stogie." Matt 21:12

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I think you mean MITT 21:12.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Meeting people you don't already know — especially in the confines of a school with adult supervision — can be dangerous. This is why the AFA recommends its members wear a special white sheet over their heads so they can retain the degree of anonymity necessary to keep from being stalked by negroes and homosexuals and such.

delaney_blom October 16, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Hey SPLC, can't you see there's a difference between bullying someone and ganging up on them to torment them for being different?

Goonemeritus October 16, 2012 at 1:43 pm

I have been waiting for you to post this story for more than 24 hours and yet after all that time I still can’t muster any Snark, I’m just too pissed.

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 1:54 pm

It is depressing, isn't it? In this day and age, seeing so many people working so hard to be ignorant and unhappy…

Goonemeritus October 16, 2012 at 2:05 pm

And while we fight over who has a better understanding of what God wants, our children are literally killing themselves.———- I weep!

the_onceler October 16, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Jesus said hate thy neighbor so the AFA is obviously a very Christian organization.

Ruhe October 16, 2012 at 2:06 pm

http://bible.cc/luke/14-26.htm

Luke 14-26. Read it and flex your hermeneutical muscles all you like but in the end it's just some dude who wants you in his cult. So, read it and weep.

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 2:14 pm

That is excellent.

VodkaGoGo October 16, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Faggots and teachers are the real bullies.

Lascauxcaveman October 16, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I love a good tossed salad, I mean the kind where you chop up a bunch of lettuce, tomatoes, cuke slices, etc, and add a nice dressing, in a bowl and, y'know, eat it.

I wish people would stop using the term for that other thing, which I don't care to have come to mind while I'm finishing my tossed salad.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 1:49 pm

I prefer jelly. Apricot would be good, I think.

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 2:14 pm

I prefer syrup.

Not really, that seems incredibly sticky. I just can't let a Chris Rock quote go, no matter how bad/good/fun it is.

finallyhappy October 16, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I do not know what that means I know what tossing your cookies means

GregComlish October 16, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Forget the lettuce. Mixed greens, baby spinach, maybe a little argula. Tomatoes and cucumbers are good options, but I personally tend to garnish with fruits and nuts. Apple slices or Orange slices are nice. Berries are good too. The important thing here is to stay seasonal. I put lemon juice on the apples, which can help form the basis of a nice vinagrette. Walnuts or almonds are good choices for nuts. For veggies I might do roasted beets, or choppped red peppers. The slimy purple juice of the beets is great for adding color. Protein like tofu or garbonzos will pick up that purple really well.

I don't use dressing personally, but if I'm entertaining I will toss with a simple Balsamic vinagrette. I don't ever call it a "tossed salad" though. That makes it sound like one of those iceberg lettuce "salads" with shredded carrots and a solitary cherry tomato. Those things taste like ass.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Candlesticks make a nice wedding gift, or find out where they are registered and get a place setting.

(He ad-libbed those lines, by the way!)

carlgt1 October 16, 2012 at 1:46 pm

worst episode of "Glee" ever!

mull_man October 16, 2012 at 1:58 pm

If that were a question, the answer would be…
All of them, Katie

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Now, it was actually a pretty decent show in its first season. Then it went to crap.

Lascauxcaveman October 16, 2012 at 2:13 pm

I watched most of the first season on DVD. My friend who loaned ti to me said that was just about the right amount.

mull_man October 16, 2012 at 2:40 pm

My two teenage daughters tell me the same thing. For me, anything relating to high school is to be avoided at all costs.

shelwood46 October 16, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Friday Night Lights libel!

prommie October 16, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Bullying is just another word for shunning, and how are you going to be able to properly shun the sinners and nonbelievers and apostates and heretics if you can't bully them? I mean, this is an inherent part of religious freedom, when your religion requires you to harrass and harangue and who knows, sometimes even torture or burn, people who don't believe like you do.

ElPinche October 16, 2012 at 1:47 pm

One day, federal investigators will discovery Bryan Fischer's massive collection of tiny baby boy shoes and a crawlspace.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 16, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Just announced: "Hate It Up Day". Activities to include mainly knocking down the faggots and cutting their hair.

weejee October 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Is this part of the new Rmoney move to center – run from center campaign of flopping their flippers??? Or is it flopping their flippers, I haz a confused?

prommie October 16, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I am not by any means a faggot, but you know, I got called one I bet more than most faggots did! Which I would call ironic, but thats just a literary device by which you say the opposite of what you mean, whereas my anecdote just relates a found situation in which what happened is the opposite of what you would expect (if you knew me and how completely non-faggy and uber-hetero I am). Hush you! Hetero guys wear scarves!

emmelemm October 16, 2012 at 2:16 pm

And man-purses. Sure. Sure they do.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 2:25 pm

A little kid walked up to me once in the grocery store while I was wearing my purse and a big old scarf all tied fancy, and he looked up at me and said "are you some famous director or something?" Of course most days, I just see dads whispering to their kids, "stay away from the weirdo," so that was a special day.

PsycWench October 16, 2012 at 3:06 pm

No surprise sex?

cousinitt October 16, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Meanwhile, over at Rainbow Depot, "One of the main purposes of "gay" pride events is to push for the legalization of marriage between men who have unnatural sex acts with other men. Rather than remaining neutral on the issue, Home Depot has taken the side of grown men who parade in public places dressed as drag queens and "fairies." -AFA website.

Duh. Floats have to be built, sets have to be designed, and headdresses assembled. Where does the AFA think teh gheys are going to get their building materials? Welllll?

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Home Depot isn't stupid. They're fully aware we're one of their biggest customer demographics – gay money is *just* as green as any Fundie's…

CommieLibunatic October 16, 2012 at 2:12 pm

I thought Home Desperate (as our old woodworking teacher called it, anyway) was tangentially related to the Koch Brothers?

cousinitt October 16, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Speaking of whom, "A former executive of Oxbow Carbon has accused company founder and chief executive William "Bill" Koch of kidnapping and holding him captive at Koch's Bear Ranch in Gunnison County." For reals. These guys are even nuttier than we thought.

Read more: Former executive claims Bill Koch held him captive at Colorado ranch – The Denver Post http://www.denverpost.com/business/ci_21779710/fo

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 3:20 pm

"Home Desperate (as our old woodworking teacher called it, anyway)"

Haw, the Former Mr. Tessie used to call them "Home Despot".

kyeshinka October 16, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Thank God someone's on top of this. First it's just a little fun with the tinker toys. Before you know it it's full-on bonking on the marimba in the orchestra closet.

James Michael Curley October 16, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Ms. Costello can also prove that 7 X 13 = 28.

CommieLibunatic October 16, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Slightly off-topic, but ugh, can we not defend the right to bully "on religious grounds" again? If my childhood was anything to go by, Christian thoughts were ranked far, far, FAR below a strong desire to play Super Mario Brothers and/or Secret of Mana, either on the Nintendo or in the back yard.

I don't care if some kids were raised in a family that taught how on the Third Day God made the Remmington bolt-action rifle so man could kill the dinosaurs and homosexuals. Last I checked, kids are not intellectual heavyweights, even less so with bullies, so stop pretending they are.

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 1:53 pm

But see, you're tramping on the students freedom of religion! Note that this is right-wing freedom of religion, which only applies to Christians and allows them to do whatever they want, regardless of the law or basic civility, being as much of a giant dick as they can, as long as they justify it with "but it's my religious belief!".

noodlesalad October 16, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Won't somebody please think of the bullies?

bikerlaureate October 16, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Poor bullies.
It's not like there's any other way to show one's displeasure with the "normalization" of other people's beliefs… in public schools.

Boojum October 16, 2012 at 1:51 pm

If they mix it up at lunch, next thing you know they'll be race mixing in the bedroom.

Native_of_SL_UT October 16, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I would love to see a parade of the AFA members kids. I bet many of them of are your typical fucked up teenagers. Here In Utah, the head of the Eagle Forum loves to tell us parents how to raise our kids, but her own son died from a drug overdose. I don't know why anybody listens to the bitch.

BoroPrimorac October 16, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Sarah Palin and her abstinence only bullshit worked out wonderfully for her daughter, didn't it? I wish moms with fucked up kids would shut the fuck up and listen to parents with kids who aren't fucked up.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 1:52 pm

When I was a boy, if another boy got too touchy with you, you would say "stop mo-ing me." I do still think that was funny.

GregComlish October 16, 2012 at 2:14 pm

I wish I had a recording of the bigoted shit kids said to each other playing Street Fighter

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Today, XBox Live has a large population of some rather, um, culturally-diverse language.

Mittaplasia October 16, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Allow Steve and Steve to sit together and they'll come home and start redecorating; by then, it's too late because the ghey cootie inoculation was a success. Home school or hoemo school? Usurpers are everywhere and commies are under every bed. We must take "our" country back.

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 2:10 pm

We Esteevs would love to redecorate Fischer's face. YEAH!

jqheywood October 16, 2012 at 2:41 pm

With votes, of course….

Mittaplasia October 16, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Bukkake? But, he would enjoy, no?

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Blah blah precious bodily fluids.

Spurning Beer October 16, 2012 at 1:53 pm

I believe the contagion that the AFA is trying to prevent is generally known as "cooties."

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Also, "society".

ManchuCandidate October 16, 2012 at 1:54 pm

I get the impression that the AFA are of the same mindset of the bullies of my past who are upset because they can't be dicks to people without getting shunned.

Blueb4sinrise October 16, 2012 at 1:55 pm

“I was surprised that they completely lied about what Mix It Up Day is,” said Maureen Costello…

<snark> tag in original?

Blunderthing October 16, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Privileged Group Maintaining Strict Asshole Line– Nothing To See Here, Move Along

johnnyzhivago October 16, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I'm organizing "Be A Bully for a Day" at our local school.

BornInATrailer October 16, 2012 at 1:58 pm

When Fischer dies, I am going to celebrate and mock and not feel the slightest twinge of guilt.

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Let's kill him.

With votes, of course.

finallyhappy October 16, 2012 at 1:58 pm

I think it is ok to bully Christian kids- like telling them Heaven and hell don't exist and Evolution does.

LibertyLover October 16, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Can you tell Mormons that Kolob doesn't exist?

KeepFnThatChicken October 16, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I am quoting you on my Facebook.

zumpie October 16, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Ironically, I can see the argument that this is all fake and stupid and forcing kiddies to sit together for a day won't do crap, because kids are all bullying little shits. That said, saying it makes them turn to teh ghey is even stupider than washing clean dishes when you're not wanted.

Not_So_Much October 16, 2012 at 1:59 pm

These fucking fuckheads. Fuck 'em.

mille derps October 16, 2012 at 1:59 pm

"No one is in favor of anyone getting bullied for any reason, but these anti-bullying policies become a mechanism for punishing Christian students who believe that homosexual behavior is not something that should be normalized."

You can just ignore the first dozen words, because they contradict the rest of the sentence. Christians gotta be free to bully gays because freedumb.

BoroPrimorac October 16, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Wait until those good Christian kids find out that being a proselytizing little shit is ten times less cool than being a gay and it is them who are more likely to end up getting their asses kicked.

coolhandnuke October 16, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Fischer has no clue of a school cafeteria. He spent his formative lunchroom years with the school's janitor, in the basement, who showed him his collection of old prize fighter photos and talked about gladiator movies.

UnholyMoses October 16, 2012 at 2:00 pm

May all children of hardcore Xtian fundies wind up being transgendered bisexual furries.*

(* Like my cousin, who, despite being raised by one of the most hypocritical fuckfaces in the history of fuckfaces (a.k.a. Uncle Douchebagger) and being bullied to the point of becoming a cutter, wound up as one of the nicest guys this world — or any other — has ever seen. Totes cool dude who is now, finally, happy.)

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 2:12 pm

:0) I love stories with happy endings.

emmelemm October 16, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Wait – so is he actually a transgendered bisexual furry?

(Good story anyway, no snark.)

UnholyMoses October 16, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Yep — he swings both ways and LOVES wearing a bunny suit.

And his dad HATES it, which makes it even more awesome. (His dad really is a piece of work — the kind of guy who goes door to door for Todd Akin, apparently.)

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 3:29 pm

I have no particular interest in being a furry, but if it would aggravate Todd
Akin into having a heart attack, it's at least worth a try.

emmelemm October 16, 2012 at 4:35 pm

That's nothin' but awesome.

CommieLibunatic October 16, 2012 at 3:39 pm

UGH DAMN FUUURRRRRree country? To each, his own, I guess.

orygoon October 16, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Admit it though. We all need to occasionally remind our kids (and ourselves) to be nice to these gross fucktards.

CommieLibunatic October 16, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Maybe so, but the aforementioned fucktards sure aren't making that an easy job.

VodkaGoGo October 16, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Aren't evangelicals supposed to, you know, evangelize? Wouldn't that neccesarily require interaction with people who are different from them, which is the entire point of mix it up day? "We would encourage our children to do that thing that is the central organizing principle of our doctrine but it might turn our kids gay so, no." WTF is that? Doesn't that kind of make everything they believe seem like total bullshit?

unclejeems October 16, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Nah. That "go ye therefore and teach all nations is just bullshit" to those MoFos. And Jesus loves all the little children? Nothing but left-wing slander, all a part of the homosexual agenda to render, you know, America prostrate (or prostate) before her enemies.

The only homosexual agenda I've ever been able to detect is to be happy with the one you love. Totally un-Kristian.

Toomush_Infer October 16, 2012 at 2:01 pm

We're not talking Freedom of Religion here, we're talking "raise a child up in the way he should go", kind of "Spare the rod and spoil the child" mentality…Of course, we're not talking about girls, black people, or pretend girls, who should never be allowed in school in the first place…like the Taliban sez….

LibertyLover October 16, 2012 at 2:01 pm

“I was surprised that they completely lied about what Mix It Up Day is,” said Maureen Costello

Maureen Costello is easily surprised, but only by little things. Little squirrels surprise her. Spiders surprise her. The AFA shouldn't have surprised her, but it did.

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 2:05 pm

“Mix It Up At Lunch Day,” an annual program that teams up kids who normally wouldn’t sit together at lunch, and makes them sit together at lunch.

So I'd have to sit with the blahs? No wait, I did that, cuz I am blah. I'd have to sit with the nerds? No, wait, I was a nerd.

I'd have to sit with the jocks? No wait, I am a jock. I'd have to sit with the girls.

SCORE!

LibertyLover October 16, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I grew up in Texas and you would NOT have been allowed to sit with the girls unless you were itching for a fight in the hallway after lunch.

Blueb4sinrise October 16, 2012 at 2:17 pm

[acto212 is actually Barack]

LibertyLover October 16, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I don't know why this surprises anyone. These are the same people that believe that Tinky Winky was gay because he wore purple and carried a purple purse.

delaney_blom October 16, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Someone needs to alert the AFA as to how colleges and universities make freshman dorm assignments.

(Where I went to school, 100% of the gay male freshmen lived in men's dorms, and 100% of the gay female freshmen lived in women's dorms)

SorosBot October 16, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Women's and men's dorms? That's kind of a thing of the past, unless you go to a Christian school.

delaney_blom October 16, 2012 at 2:49 pm

We were segregated according to genitals (though they never checked me) on a floor by floor basis.

The only thing they asked us about prior to room assignments was smoking preference [insert fellatio joke here].

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 2:06 pm

It’s just another thinly veiled attempt to promote the homosexual agenda. No one is in favor of anyone getting bullied for any reason, but these anti-bullying policies become a mechanism for punishing Christian students who believe that homosexual behavior is not something that should be normalized.

So, uh, you support Christians bullying gay kids, even tho bullying is wrong?

Mind if I dance wif yo date?

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 3:31 pm

You put the shamma (baby!) in the shamma-lamma-ding-dong!

MosesInvests October 16, 2012 at 6:02 pm

You put the u-mau-mau….

decentcitizen October 16, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Hey, it's not like they live here, am I right?

jesus_vs_gojira October 16, 2012 at 2:08 pm

It's just like the parable of the prodigal son. When he returned to his father, he had to sit at another table.

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 2:09 pm

So intolerance of tolerance is tolerance but intolerance of tolerance is also intolerance… Got it (???)

delaney_blom October 16, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Shoulda known from the decorations that this anti-bullying movement was just a trojan horse full of gays and gay sympathizers.

TootsStansbury October 16, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I really hate religious fanatics.

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 3:31 pm

And Illinois Nazis, also too.

MosesInvests October 16, 2012 at 6:03 pm

I try not to hate anyone, but religious fanatics make it difficult. And *I'm* religious.

Incitefully_Joe October 16, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Mr. [Bryan] Fischer said [...] No one is in favor of anyone getting bullied for any reason,

Good thing the Bible doesn't say anything about lying.

KeepFnThatChicken October 16, 2012 at 2:13 pm

If the AFA doesn't want to participate in this one-day event, so be it. Just remind 'em that there are zero "Teacher-Led Prayer" days in school, and every day is Abortion Day in America.

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Dennis Leary (before he went crazy), on kids and bigotry:

"It isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps. End of list."

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 3:32 pm

I think it was Dennis Miller who went crazy, not Denis Leary — but good quote.

KeepFnThatChicken October 16, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I am pissed as hell that their label includes the word "Family", when all it fucking means is "we have Jesus and righteousness, and that's really all".

iburl October 16, 2012 at 2:22 pm

When bullying is outlawed only righteous Christian bullies will be allowed to bully.

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Pointing out racism is the real racism.

Trying to stop bullying is the real bullying.

Does this mean that homophobia is the real homosexuality? Bryan Fischer must be a raging cockfiend!

iburl October 16, 2012 at 2:27 pm

American Family Association's policies have become a mechanism for punishing students who believe that anti-science, anti-teacher, anti-gay, anti-community propaganda is not something that should be normalized.

poorgradstudent October 16, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Honestly, I prefer the Westboro people. At least they're completely upfront about being a pack of insane bigots.

GeorgiaBurning October 16, 2012 at 2:52 pm

You must be carefully taught

teebob2000 October 16, 2012 at 3:02 pm

God, I fucking hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate the AFA.

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 3:05 pm

"No one is in favor of anyone getting bullied for any reason, but these anti-bullying policies become a mechanism for punishing Christian students who believe that homosexual behavior is not something that should be normalized.”

Shorter: No one is in favor of anyone getting bullied unless Christian students are the ones doing the bullying.

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Setting aside for the moment the loathsomeness of the idea that it's OK to bully gay people…

A careful reading of the text revealed that Sitting at the Same Table at Lunch Day is being held at an ELEMENTARY school. I would hope that elementary school kids aren't having sex with anybody. Did I miss some crucial point, or is there a big epidemic of seven year olds giving blow jobs on the playground or something?

emmelemm October 16, 2012 at 4:36 pm

When I was four, I showed my underwear to some boys on the playground. Come to think of it, I think there were some girls there too.

(Yes, I clearly wanted attention. Derrr.)

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 3:09 pm

As usual, The Onion is ahead of the curve:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/columbine-jocks-
"We're bouncing back, more committed than ever to ostracizing those who are different."

fawkedifiknow October 16, 2012 at 4:46 pm

I'd be inclined to demonstrate the difference between real bully behavior and the made up kind with some of those AFA dopes, if I was given a chance.

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 6:15 pm

While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

– Matthew 9:10-13

decentcitizen October 16, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Christianity-you're doing it wrong.

ChickTract_Fil_A October 16, 2012 at 7:00 pm

My kid came home from school and said he had nothing but salad for lunch. What's butt salad?

thefrontpage October 17, 2012 at 11:33 am

OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE
AMERICAN FAMILY ASSOCIATION
OCTOBER 17, 2012

Mayberryville, Idaho (October 17, 2012)—The American Family Association (AFA) President and Chief Executive Officer Patrick Fitzgerald announced today, October 17, that AFA was finally admitting to the world that all of its members are homosexuals, transexuals, transgenders, bestiality participants, foot fetishers and S&M proponents.

"We take this action because it's about time that we admit who we really are," said Fitzgerald, accompanied by his longtime gay lover, Gerald Fitzpatrick. "And we, the American Family Association, are indeed primarliy composed of homosexuals. And we are gay people who love gay relationships and activelly participate in gay trysts, every day of the week!"

AFA immediately endorsed all public school activities that supported the very simple and basic idea of kids getting to know other kids better.

"We support all such public school activities," said Peter Johnson, the AFA's Public Schools Coordinator.
# # #

DahBoner October 22, 2012 at 10:44 am

Cafeteria meals should be like square-dancing.

Between every course, like between the Boston-baked beans and the biscuits, each kid gets to switch dining partners.

And before you know it, these kids will have the social skills of purt near every cowboy and cowgirl around College Station, Texas…

prommie October 16, 2012 at 3:06 pm

You know, of course it was meant to sound insinuating, but really, this is an American Gladiators joke between us with a completely private subtext. They was always strapping themselves into some harness or something so they could go swinging out in space and clobber some foam obstacle from a zipline or some shit. Its all about overcoming obstacles. Not bondage. No, not ever that.

sullivanst October 16, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Well, that show had a pretty big audience for a while, didn't it?

prommie October 16, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Yeah but watching us metaphorically beat down obstacles from a zipline with foam jousting lances, well, how can you watch that happen metaphorically?

prommie October 16, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Don't you be putting down Alabama. I don't cotton to it none. Thats why I said texas.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 5:51 pm

I just did.

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