fruitcakes also too

American Family Association Puts End To Travesty Of Children Being Nice To Each Other

Awwww, oh wait no we mean ewwwwwwWhat marvelous thing has the American Family Association done for Western civilization now? Oh, just succeeded in getting upwards of 20 elementary schools to drop out of “Mix It Up At Lunch Day,” an annual program that teams up kids who normally wouldn’t sit together at lunch, and makes them sit together at lunch. Does this lead to breaking up nasty cliques, and helping to fight bullying? No. It leads to butt-pirating and carpet-munching. It’s right there in the title: Mix It Up? THAT IS LIKE TOSSING SALAD, WHICH IS A THING YOU DO WITH YOUR TONGUE AND A BUTT! The one (1) school that bothered to return the New York Times’s calls on the matter said dropping the program had nothing to do with parental pressure and the AFA. No! It was just that teachers were really busy drilling the students for tests! So they couldn’t take the time away from that, to spend like 10 minutes at the outside drawing names and pairing kids up. For lunch. Which would have taken place during … lunch. Balls of steel, school! How do you fit that heroic bravery into those pants?

Do it to it, NYT:

[T]his year, the American Family Association, a conservative evangelical group, has called the project “a nationwide push to promote the homosexual lifestyle in public schools” and is urging parents to keep their children home from school on Oct. 30, the day most of the schools plan to participate this year.

The charges, raised in an e-mail to supporters earlier this month, have caused a handful of schools to cancel this year’s event and has caught organizers off guard.

“I was surprised that they completely lied about what Mix It Up Day is,” said Maureen Costello, the director of the [Southern Poverty Law Center's] Teaching Tolerance project, which organizes the program. “It was a cynical, fear-mongering tactic.”

Sponsored Video

Stop libeling the American Family Association, Maureen Costello of the SPLC’s “Teaching Tolerance” (GROSS)! After all, as we learned from Reddit yesterday, “Even if it was true, its still libel.”

“Anti-bullying legislation is exactly the same,” Mr. [Bryan] Fischer said. “It’s just another thinly veiled attempt to promote the homosexual agenda. No one is in favor of anyone getting bullied for any reason, but these anti-bullying policies become a mechanism for punishing Christian students who believe that homosexual behavior is not something that should be normalized.”

The program is not about sexual orientation but rather about breaking up social cliques, which are especially evident in a school cafeteria, Ms. Costello said.

In some schools, cliques are socioeconomic. In others they are ethnic or religious or based on sexual orientation. By giving students a way to mix with other students, self-imposed social barriers can be broken down and bullying can be curbed, she said.

BURN THE WITCH.

[Photo stoled from Sodahead /NYT]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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216 comments

  1. chascates

    The AFA prefers that you send your children to Christian academies any way where they will learn the one truth path for white evangelicals.

    1. sbj1964

      Yes children need to be taught how to hate,and Christian schools are only second to Muslims when it comes to teaching bigotry,hate,and intolerance.

  2. EatsBabyDingos

    Bryan is just mad no one wants his Vienna Sausage except Ham Biscuits, and Hammy said no because his cheeks were already full.

    1. prommie

      Vienna sausage, man thats some nasty nasty nasty shit. I knew dudes would eat sandwiches, wonder bread and vienna sausages, nasty nasty nasty. Ever look at the ingredients? Pig snouts, cow uterus, just evil, straight out of The Jungle. Only thing worse is "Potted Meat Food Product."

      1. MissTaken

        Ugh! I used to eat those little shits not realizing how horrible they were. I think I just liked that they were tiny little hot dog-like things that were LilTaken-sized. How about the Underwood Deviled Ham Spread ? I think that is truly of the devil.

          1. MissTaken

            Shockingly, no. Born and raised in California. BUT! My dad is from Alabama so I think that's how I know about this nastiness.

  3. YouBetcha

    Why do these dumb fucks even care? Don't most of them homeschool their pasty, genetically inferior spawn?

      1. Boojum

        It isn't eugenics; it's the environmental degradation of the DNA caused by clean coal, pcb's, and the residue from cooking meth. That shit will grow gills.

      2. YouBetcha

        It's the inevitable result of their cousin-fucking. Have you seen these people? One shallow, murky gene pool.

        1. GregComlish

          There are a lot of Wonketteers who come from ignorant, conservative, and/or bigoted families, but got a clue later in their life. There is nothing wrong with their genetics. The Young Republican of today may one day drop the conservativism and become the defender of the indigigent and maligned tomorrow. The fault is in the thinking, not in the genes.

    1. Geminisunmars

      But they don't want that tolerance stuff spread out in the general public either. Because freedom.

    1. Geminisunmars

      Isn't that what turning the other cheek is all about? In order to snub someone you have to face the other way — therefore turning your cheek. That is the right and true way.

    2. bikerlaureate

      Eating at the same table as them is just a gateway activity to liking them. And then, maybe, the ghey.

    1. sewollef

      psychiatric intervention
      Isn't that what the goons over at the Pentagon refer to as a 'smart bomb' also?

  4. ph7

    Bro Jesus would never mix it up. He'd throw tater tots at the dorks, laugh, and high five his friends.

  5. snowpointsecret

    Today we learn that punishing Christian students is bad, but if they're Muslim, sure! You know how much Muslims just love homosexuality!

  6. MissTaken

    Once on a school field trip I had to share a seat on the bus with a girl I didn't know because our names were next to each other on the alphabet. She wasn't gay, and neither was I, but we did share a package of cheese and crackers and then we played with our Barbies together.

    Many years later I had sex for the first time, with a boy. Obviously it was the shared cheese, crackers, and Barbie dolls that made me a slut.

    1. weejee

      it was the shared cheese, crackers, and Barbie dolls that made me a slut

      Not the alphabet? You can make-up all kinds of nasty with those perverse letters.

      1. sullivanst

        The words "slut", "whore", "fuck", "orgy" and "rimjob" are all spelled using letters. I rest my case!

    2. orygoon

      I tried that Humboldt Fog cheese that everyone got so swoony about a few weeks ago, and fuckit, I'm not sharing that stuff with anyone.

    3. PsycWench

      I beg to differ. I became a slut (at least by AFA standards) even though I never liked Barbies and am indifferent toward cheese. There are many paths..

    4. tessiee

      ??
      I would think that playing Barbies would make you grow up into a homo, and playing Barbie and Ken would make you grow up into a slut.

      Somewhat OT: My spoiled only child girl cousin not only had Barbie and Ken, she also had the Barbie Dream House AND the Barbie Corvette. The highlight of our visits was when we played Barbie and Ken Do Sex. Dialogue supplied by Cousin Fancy: "Ken, Darling, unzip my bra".

  7. delaney_blom

    According to the AFA, fruitcakes for lunch is contributing to the childhood obesity epidemic.

  8. Callyson

    Oh FFS–I just read the NYT article to try to make sense out of how you get "homosexual agenda" out of an anti-bullying initiative. It seems the "logic" is that this is an attempt to combat bullying…and lots of kids who are bullied are gay or perceived to be gay…therefore, anything anti-bullying is pro-gay!

    Today, we are all gay.

    Oh, and fuck the AFA, also, too.

    1. BoroPrimorac

      If you're against beating the shit out of gay kids, then you're a cultural Marxist who hates America.

  9. SheriffRoscoe

    On the other hand, gay kids won't have to sit through lunch and listen to Rod and Todd Flanders expound on how much they love Jesus. Glass half full.

  10. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Sure, first theyre eating lunch together. Then the next thing you know they're blowing each other on the monkey bars. It's a slippery slope people. A big, gay, slippery slope covered in gayness!

    1. Boojum

      And very slippery, that makes them think about other slippery, hard poles that they grasp with their hands….

  11. SexySmurf

    If you make a jock sit with the theatre fags then he might get the queermo on him, and then when he whips other dudes with his towel in the shower or plays soggy biscuit he might enjoy it in a gay way.

  12. SorosBot

    "No one is in favor of anyone getting bullied for any reason"

    Except for you, Mr. Fischer hatemonger, who have made it clear that you are in favor of gay people getting bullied for the reason of gayness. Creepoid fuckface.

    1. delaney_blom

      Not any reason. For example, being a christian is not a good reason to be bullied. Being a gay, or perhaps worse, a gay-tolerant straight (as if such a person exists), is a great reason.

      See the AFA's website for a list of acceptable bullying excuses (sluttiness, gayness, jewyness, muslimyness, brownness . . .)

  13. FakaktaSouth

    "Christian students who believe that homosexual behavior is not something that should be normalized."

    See? Good Christian youngs, they aren't "bullying" gay kids, they are "ABnormalizing them" What the fuck? What kind of wretched evil people do this? Sit around and look for what they perceive as possible ways to raise money like this, by fucking with kids? This bitch talking here, she should know, her bullshit does not suit a decent, reasoning, human society, it just doesn't and THAT is why her words are twisted and make no sense. You cannot pretend to be Jesusy and loving in the way you punish people for being a thing you use to raise money over. HELL! I AM PRAYING THERE REALLY IS A HELL. oh my god this is piss me off day on wonkette. Great.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        OH CHRIST you are my white-lighter, thereby (1) I have gotten WAY off the reservation crazy and (2) Fuck yeah, are we gonna have some fun or what? Just tearing shit up everywhere, like drunk American Gladiators, big foam obstacle courses be damned.
        Also you fucked up my ability to change the pronouns here I got wrong with the dude acting like a dick, but I forgive you, I screw up a lot when I am ranting.

          1. sullivanst

            That sounds like it'd look good on video… or, uh, I'm told some people might be into that, somewhere, yeah, that's it, some other people, not me of course.

          2. prommie

            You know, of course it was meant to sound insinuating, but really, this is an American Gladiators joke between us with a completely private subtext. They was always strapping themselves into some harness or something so they could go swinging out in space and clobber some foam obstacle from a zipline or some shit. Its all about overcoming obstacles. Not bondage. No, not ever that.

          3. prommie

            Yeah but watching us metaphorically beat down obstacles from a zipline with foam jousting lances, well, how can you watch that happen metaphorically?

    1. BadKitty904

      I'm a Christian student who doesn't believe hatred and bigotry should be normalized.

      So. Sounds like an impasse.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        Aw man, if you actually follow the teachings of Christ, you must HATE these people. It gives me a headache and I'm just offended by proxy.

  14. prommie

    I heard a comedian on Howard Stern this morning explaining that if you look at the list of the 7 deadly sins, gay sex isn't even on there, but greed and gluttony are, so, God don't hate fags, God hates fat people! Which all these fag-haters seem to tend to be. D.L.Hughley it was.

  15. Roy Hobbson

    "Jesus looked upon his school cafeteria and spoke to the elders: 'I'm not sitting at the fag table, bro.'" -Ephesians 2:8-9

    1. Esteev

      "Jesus waltzed into the temple where the money changers were making mad loot. He high- and low-fived those with the crazy big profits, overturning all regulations. Then kicked his feet up on the alter and lit a fat ass stogie." Matt 21:12

  16. SayItWithWookies

    Meeting people you don't already know — especially in the confines of a school with adult supervision — can be dangerous. This is why the AFA recommends its members wear a special white sheet over their heads so they can retain the degree of anonymity necessary to keep from being stalked by negroes and homosexuals and such.

  17. delaney_blom

    Hey SPLC, can't you see there's a difference between bullying someone and ganging up on them to torment them for being different?

  18. Goonemeritus

    I have been waiting for you to post this story for more than 24 hours and yet after all that time I still can’t muster any Snark, I’m just too pissed.

    1. BadKitty904

      It is depressing, isn't it? In this day and age, seeing so many people working so hard to be ignorant and unhappy…

      1. Goonemeritus

        And while we fight over who has a better understanding of what God wants, our children are literally killing themselves.———- I weep!

  19. Lascauxcaveman

    I love a good tossed salad, I mean the kind where you chop up a bunch of lettuce, tomatoes, cuke slices, etc, and add a nice dressing, in a bowl and, y'know, eat it.

    I wish people would stop using the term for that other thing, which I don't care to have come to mind while I'm finishing my tossed salad.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        I prefer syrup.

        Not really, that seems incredibly sticky. I just can't let a Chris Rock quote go, no matter how bad/good/fun it is.

    1. GregComlish

      Forget the lettuce. Mixed greens, baby spinach, maybe a little argula. Tomatoes and cucumbers are good options, but I personally tend to garnish with fruits and nuts. Apple slices or Orange slices are nice. Berries are good too. The important thing here is to stay seasonal. I put lemon juice on the apples, which can help form the basis of a nice vinagrette. Walnuts or almonds are good choices for nuts. For veggies I might do roasted beets, or choppped red peppers. The slimy purple juice of the beets is great for adding color. Protein like tofu or garbonzos will pick up that purple really well.

      I don't use dressing personally, but if I'm entertaining I will toss with a simple Balsamic vinagrette. I don't ever call it a "tossed salad" though. That makes it sound like one of those iceberg lettuce "salads" with shredded carrots and a solitary cherry tomato. Those things taste like ass.

      1. prommie

        Candlesticks make a nice wedding gift, or find out where they are registered and get a place setting.

        (He ad-libbed those lines, by the way!)

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          I watched most of the first season on DVD. My friend who loaned ti to me said that was just about the right amount.

        2. mull_man

          My two teenage daughters tell me the same thing. For me, anything relating to high school is to be avoided at all costs.

  20. prommie

    Bullying is just another word for shunning, and how are you going to be able to properly shun the sinners and nonbelievers and apostates and heretics if you can't bully them? I mean, this is an inherent part of religious freedom, when your religion requires you to harrass and harangue and who knows, sometimes even torture or burn, people who don't believe like you do.

  21. ElPinche

    One day, federal investigators will discovery Bryan Fischer's massive collection of tiny baby boy shoes and a crawlspace.

  22. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Just announced: "Hate It Up Day". Activities to include mainly knocking down the faggots and cutting their hair.

    1. weejee

      Is this part of the new Rmoney move to center – run from center campaign of flopping their flippers??? Or is it flopping their flippers, I haz a confused?

    2. prommie

      I am not by any means a faggot, but you know, I got called one I bet more than most faggots did! Which I would call ironic, but thats just a literary device by which you say the opposite of what you mean, whereas my anecdote just relates a found situation in which what happened is the opposite of what you would expect (if you knew me and how completely non-faggy and uber-hetero I am). Hush you! Hetero guys wear scarves!

        1. prommie

          A little kid walked up to me once in the grocery store while I was wearing my purse and a big old scarf all tied fancy, and he looked up at me and said "are you some famous director or something?" Of course most days, I just see dads whispering to their kids, "stay away from the weirdo," so that was a special day.

  23. cousinitt

    Meanwhile, over at Rainbow Depot, "One of the main purposes of "gay" pride events is to push for the legalization of marriage between men who have unnatural sex acts with other men. Rather than remaining neutral on the issue, Home Depot has taken the side of grown men who parade in public places dressed as drag queens and "fairies." -AFA website.

    Duh. Floats have to be built, sets have to be designed, and headdresses assembled. Where does the AFA think teh gheys are going to get their building materials? Welllll?

    1. BadKitty904

      Home Depot isn't stupid. They're fully aware we're one of their biggest customer demographics – gay money is *just* as green as any Fundie's…

    2. CommieLibunatic

      I thought Home Desperate (as our old woodworking teacher called it, anyway) was tangentially related to the Koch Brothers?

      1. cousinitt

        Speaking of whom, "A former executive of Oxbow Carbon has accused company founder and chief executive William "Bill" Koch of kidnapping and holding him captive at Koch's Bear Ranch in Gunnison County." For reals. These guys are even nuttier than we thought.

        Read more: Former executive claims Bill Koch held him captive at Colorado ranch – The Denver Post http://www.denverpost.com/business/ci_21779710/fo

      2. tessiee

        "Home Desperate (as our old woodworking teacher called it, anyway)"

        Haw, the Former Mr. Tessie used to call them "Home Despot".

  24. kyeshinka

    Thank God someone's on top of this. First it's just a little fun with the tinker toys. Before you know it it's full-on bonking on the marimba in the orchestra closet.

  25. CommieLibunatic

    Slightly off-topic, but ugh, can we not defend the right to bully "on religious grounds" again? If my childhood was anything to go by, Christian thoughts were ranked far, far, FAR below a strong desire to play Super Mario Brothers and/or Secret of Mana, either on the Nintendo or in the back yard.

    I don't care if some kids were raised in a family that taught how on the Third Day God made the Remmington bolt-action rifle so man could kill the dinosaurs and homosexuals. Last I checked, kids are not intellectual heavyweights, even less so with bullies, so stop pretending they are.

    1. SorosBot

      But see, you're tramping on the students freedom of religion! Note that this is right-wing freedom of religion, which only applies to Christians and allows them to do whatever they want, regardless of the law or basic civility, being as much of a giant dick as they can, as long as they justify it with "but it's my religious belief!".

    1. bikerlaureate

      Poor bullies.
      It's not like there's any other way to show one's displeasure with the "normalization" of other people's beliefs… in public schools.

  26. Native_of_SL_UT

    I would love to see a parade of the AFA members kids. I bet many of them of are your typical fucked up teenagers. Here In Utah, the head of the Eagle Forum loves to tell us parents how to raise our kids, but her own son died from a drug overdose. I don't know why anybody listens to the bitch.

    1. BoroPrimorac

      Sarah Palin and her abstinence only bullshit worked out wonderfully for her daughter, didn't it? I wish moms with fucked up kids would shut the fuck up and listen to parents with kids who aren't fucked up.

  27. prommie

    When I was a boy, if another boy got too touchy with you, you would say "stop mo-ing me." I do still think that was funny.

  28. Mittaplasia

    Allow Steve and Steve to sit together and they'll come home and start redecorating; by then, it's too late because the ghey cootie inoculation was a success. Home school or hoemo school? Usurpers are everywhere and commies are under every bed. We must take "our" country back.

  29. Blueb4sinrise

    “I was surprised that they completely lied about what Mix It Up Day is,” said Maureen Costello…

    <snark> tag in original?

  30. BornInATrailer

    When Fischer dies, I am going to celebrate and mock and not feel the slightest twinge of guilt.

  31. finallyhappy

    I think it is ok to bully Christian kids- like telling them Heaven and hell don't exist and Evolution does.

  32. zumpie

    Ironically, I can see the argument that this is all fake and stupid and forcing kiddies to sit together for a day won't do crap, because kids are all bullying little shits. That said, saying it makes them turn to teh ghey is even stupider than washing clean dishes when you're not wanted.

  33. mille derps

    "No one is in favor of anyone getting bullied for any reason, but these anti-bullying policies become a mechanism for punishing Christian students who believe that homosexual behavior is not something that should be normalized."

    You can just ignore the first dozen words, because they contradict the rest of the sentence. Christians gotta be free to bully gays because freedumb.

    1. BoroPrimorac

      Wait until those good Christian kids find out that being a proselytizing little shit is ten times less cool than being a gay and it is them who are more likely to end up getting their asses kicked.

  34. coolhandnuke

    Fischer has no clue of a school cafeteria. He spent his formative lunchroom years with the school's janitor, in the basement, who showed him his collection of old prize fighter photos and talked about gladiator movies.

  35. UnholyMoses

    May all children of hardcore Xtian fundies wind up being transgendered bisexual furries.*

    (* Like my cousin, who, despite being raised by one of the most hypocritical fuckfaces in the history of fuckfaces (a.k.a. Uncle Douchebagger) and being bullied to the point of becoming a cutter, wound up as one of the nicest guys this world — or any other — has ever seen. Totes cool dude who is now, finally, happy.)

      1. UnholyMoses

        Yep — he swings both ways and LOVES wearing a bunny suit.

        And his dad HATES it, which makes it even more awesome. (His dad really is a piece of work — the kind of guy who goes door to door for Todd Akin, apparently.)

        1. tessiee

          I have no particular interest in being a furry, but if it would aggravate Todd
          Akin into having a heart attack, it's at least worth a try.

  36. orygoon

    Admit it though. We all need to occasionally remind our kids (and ourselves) to be nice to these gross fucktards.

  37. VodkaGoGo

    Aren't evangelicals supposed to, you know, evangelize? Wouldn't that neccesarily require interaction with people who are different from them, which is the entire point of mix it up day? "We would encourage our children to do that thing that is the central organizing principle of our doctrine but it might turn our kids gay so, no." WTF is that? Doesn't that kind of make everything they believe seem like total bullshit?

    1. unclejeems

      Nah. That "go ye therefore and teach all nations is just bullshit" to those MoFos. And Jesus loves all the little children? Nothing but left-wing slander, all a part of the homosexual agenda to render, you know, America prostrate (or prostate) before her enemies.

      The only homosexual agenda I've ever been able to detect is to be happy with the one you love. Totally un-Kristian.

  38. Toomush_Infer

    We're not talking Freedom of Religion here, we're talking "raise a child up in the way he should go", kind of "Spare the rod and spoil the child" mentality…Of course, we're not talking about girls, black people, or pretend girls, who should never be allowed in school in the first place…like the Taliban sez….

  39. LibertyLover

    “I was surprised that they completely lied about what Mix It Up Day is,” said Maureen Costello

    Maureen Costello is easily surprised, but only by little things. Little squirrels surprise her. Spiders surprise her. The AFA shouldn't have surprised her, but it did.

  40. actor212

    “Mix It Up At Lunch Day,” an annual program that teams up kids who normally wouldn’t sit together at lunch, and makes them sit together at lunch.

    So I'd have to sit with the blahs? No wait, I did that, cuz I am blah. I'd have to sit with the nerds? No, wait, I was a nerd.

    I'd have to sit with the jocks? No wait, I am a jock. I'd have to sit with the girls.

    SCORE!

    1. LibertyLover

      I grew up in Texas and you would NOT have been allowed to sit with the girls unless you were itching for a fight in the hallway after lunch.

  41. LibertyLover

    I don't know why this surprises anyone. These are the same people that believe that Tinky Winky was gay because he wore purple and carried a purple purse.

  42. delaney_blom

    Someone needs to alert the AFA as to how colleges and universities make freshman dorm assignments.

    (Where I went to school, 100% of the gay male freshmen lived in men's dorms, and 100% of the gay female freshmen lived in women's dorms)

    1. SorosBot

      Women's and men's dorms? That's kind of a thing of the past, unless you go to a Christian school.

      1. delaney_blom

        We were segregated according to genitals (though they never checked me) on a floor by floor basis.

        The only thing they asked us about prior to room assignments was smoking preference [insert fellatio joke here].

  43. actor212

    It’s just another thinly veiled attempt to promote the homosexual agenda. No one is in favor of anyone getting bullied for any reason, but these anti-bullying policies become a mechanism for punishing Christian students who believe that homosexual behavior is not something that should be normalized.

    So, uh, you support Christians bullying gay kids, even tho bullying is wrong?

    Mind if I dance wif yo date?

  44. jesus_vs_gojira

    It's just like the parable of the prodigal son. When he returned to his father, he had to sit at another table.

  45. Esteev

    So intolerance of tolerance is tolerance but intolerance of tolerance is also intolerance… Got it (???)

  46. delaney_blom

    Shoulda known from the decorations that this anti-bullying movement was just a trojan horse full of gays and gay sympathizers.

  47. KeepFnThatChicken

    If the AFA doesn't want to participate in this one-day event, so be it. Just remind 'em that there are zero "Teacher-Led Prayer" days in school, and every day is Abortion Day in America.

  48. BadKitty904

    Dennis Leary (before he went crazy), on kids and bigotry:

    "It isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps. End of list."

  49. KeepFnThatChicken

    I am pissed as hell that their label includes the word "Family", when all it fucking means is "we have Jesus and righteousness, and that's really all".

  50. sullivanst

    Pointing out racism is the real racism.

    Trying to stop bullying is the real bullying.

    Does this mean that homophobia is the real homosexuality? Bryan Fischer must be a raging cockfiend!

  51. iburl

    American Family Association's policies have become a mechanism for punishing students who believe that anti-science, anti-teacher, anti-gay, anti-community propaganda is not something that should be normalized.

  52. poorgradstudent

    Honestly, I prefer the Westboro people. At least they're completely upfront about being a pack of insane bigots.

  53. tessiee

    "No one is in favor of anyone getting bullied for any reason, but these anti-bullying policies become a mechanism for punishing Christian students who believe that homosexual behavior is not something that should be normalized.”

    Shorter: No one is in favor of anyone getting bullied unless Christian students are the ones doing the bullying.

  54. tessiee

    Setting aside for the moment the loathsomeness of the idea that it's OK to bully gay people…

    A careful reading of the text revealed that Sitting at the Same Table at Lunch Day is being held at an ELEMENTARY school. I would hope that elementary school kids aren't having sex with anybody. Did I miss some crucial point, or is there a big epidemic of seven year olds giving blow jobs on the playground or something?

    1. emmelemm

      When I was four, I showed my underwear to some boys on the playground. Come to think of it, I think there were some girls there too.

      (Yes, I clearly wanted attention. Derrr.)

  55. fawkedifiknow

    I'd be inclined to demonstrate the difference between real bully behavior and the made up kind with some of those AFA dopes, if I was given a chance.

  56. Chet Kincaid_

    While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew’s house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

    – Matthew 9:10-13

  57. ChickTract_Fil_A

    My kid came home from school and said he had nothing but salad for lunch. What's butt salad?

  58. thefrontpage

    OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE
    AMERICAN FAMILY ASSOCIATION
    OCTOBER 17, 2012

    Mayberryville, Idaho (October 17, 2012)—The American Family Association (AFA) President and Chief Executive Officer Patrick Fitzgerald announced today, October 17, that AFA was finally admitting to the world that all of its members are homosexuals, transexuals, transgenders, bestiality participants, foot fetishers and S&M proponents.

    "We take this action because it's about time that we admit who we really are," said Fitzgerald, accompanied by his longtime gay lover, Gerald Fitzpatrick. "And we, the American Family Association, are indeed primarliy composed of homosexuals. And we are gay people who love gay relationships and activelly participate in gay trysts, every day of the week!"

    AFA immediately endorsed all public school activities that supported the very simple and basic idea of kids getting to know other kids better.

    "We support all such public school activities," said Peter Johnson, the AFA's Public Schools Coordinator.
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  59. DahBoner

    Cafeteria meals should be like square-dancing.

    Between every course, like between the Boston-baked beans and the biscuits, each kid gets to switch dining partners.

    And before you know it, these kids will have the social skills of purt near every cowboy and cowgirl around College Station, Texas…

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