DISHWATERGATE  12:15 pm October 16, 2012

Paul Ryan Loves Poors So Much He Didn’t Even Punch This Homeless Man In The Face (Video)

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Remember yesterday, when we learned that mortician’s apprentice* Paul Ryan likes to help poor people by doing jobs that have already been done? (And THANKS, Wonkette tip line tipsters, for asking this morning why we are not all over this. THANKS FOR READING, SO MUCH. Here, let us give you that link AGAIN.) And not only that, but he “ramrodded” his way in, and everyone was sooo pissed? Well above is the fascinating behind-the-scenes video of “Mr.” Ryan so naturally rolling up his sleeves to wash that clean pan for the cameras. My, he doesn’t even have to think about it for a moment! Clean pan? Sure! Got a brush? It is vaguely fascinating! But we also have a new aspect to this story, and that is the homeless man Paul Ryan graces with his mouthwords right at the end of the video.

How much does Paul Ryan love poors and homelesses? HE DOESN’T EVEN PUNCH THE HOMELESS IN THE FACE, but tells him it is “nice to meet him,” before saying he, Paul Ryan, also lives in a town, doesn’t listen to a word the old man is trying mumblingly to say, and then saunters out the door. Hey man, he doesn’t have all day to sit around listening to homelesses just because he used their soup kitchen for his ridiculous photo op! He is Paul Ryan! He’s got embalming practice at four!

If this story were on Mitt Romney’s website, it would explain that Paul Ryan, with his mere presence, had saved that old man’s life.

Get on it, Romney website. We’re not gonna cut back all government support for social programs for homelesses and instead rely only on private charity like Ryan’s if you all don’t do your jobs and WIN THIS BITCH!

*Origins lost to the mists of time.

[Youtube]

 
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{ 191 comments }

ManchuCandidate October 16, 2012 at 12:19 pm

In a "just" world, washing dishes is all that a dumbass like Paul Ryan should be doing.

zumpie October 16, 2012 at 12:21 pm

I wouldn't give him that much credit. I think perhaps towel/butt boy would be the ideal career for Goober Munster

CthuNHu October 16, 2012 at 1:28 pm

Please, don't argue! I'm sure we can come to an agreement here that takes everyone's views into consideration.

How about if he washes butt towels?

ShreditorsDesk October 16, 2012 at 12:47 pm

I wouldn't trust him with that either. Busboy, maybe.

Geminisunmars October 16, 2012 at 12:47 pm

I respectfully disagree. We count on our dishwashers (persons and machines) to get the germs off. I don't think we can count of PR to do a good enough job.

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 2:03 pm

In a just world, that snotty little prick would be eating all his meals at the soup kitchen.

UnholyMoses October 16, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Well, being a dishwasher requires actual WORK (trust me on this) and that's not something Ryan would do. Ever. In this or any other reality.

PugglesRule October 16, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Couldn't we just run him through the Hobart? He'd come out squeaky clean.

Cleopatriot October 16, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Why is he allowing his children to even know there's such a thing as a soup kitchen? Shouldn't they be at home, being schooled?

Yellerdawg October 16, 2012 at 12:51 pm

You gotta know where the 47% hang out, so later you can come back and taunt them for making the banks rape the economy.

hagajim October 16, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Wow, he was about as dismissive of that man as Mitt is of the 47%. "Hey old dude – fuck off"

CthuNHu October 16, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Shit — I came this close to getting through an entire soup kitchen photo-op without having to deal with a single homeless person.

LibertyLover October 16, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Ryan probably knew that the man wasn't going to vote for him, being of the 47% and all and just wanting more "free stuff."

bikerlaureate October 16, 2012 at 12:20 pm

47% germs are contagious.

x111e7thst October 16, 2012 at 12:21 pm

It is hard to wash clean pans in the presence of homeless people. I have never managed to, myself

noodlesalad October 16, 2012 at 12:21 pm

Inviting himself to a place he's not welcome, doing a job that's already been done, but worse, and then ignoring the concerns and needs of the real, live people who are there. Sounds like the GOP plan for America – and Iraq – and Afghanistan – and Syria – and Iran – and uteri.

Gratuitous World October 16, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Rosie Ruiz approves of this candidate.

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Telling that volunteering kid "this is very important" IS true after all, I mean, if this guy gets his way, there will be A SHIT TON more homeless people for this kid to volunteer over, he may as well get used to it now.

Generation[redacted] October 16, 2012 at 12:27 pm

More homeless people + less money to feed them = free market efficiency!

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 12:29 pm

He might should have also told that kid, you like washing dishes? That's gonna be your job forever if you are lucky. And this shelter? You wouldn't hate to live here would you? How bout dying? You could die here, no? No healthcare or retirement for you, you look WAY young, and you know we are only promising to deal with the really old fucks. Not the old fuck in this video, but you know, oh hell, just fuck everybody.

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 12:55 pm

You know what would make you guys feel better? Throwing rotten vegetables at racist menswear retail shops! (See how I dialed that back from the Trans Am shooting spree, due to an attack of conscience?)

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 1:00 pm

We are always searching for the perfect "what to do" next – I just never thought I'd find a thing like that to do in New Jersey! Good lord, I like getting to be all superior in the north. I do think we may have to venture through that little town once more. Excellent wine shop, great food and a little menacing of the town racist. Sounds perfect to me!

poncho_pilot October 16, 2012 at 12:30 pm

"there will be A SHIT TON more homeless people for this kid to volunteer over…"

including the kid himself.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 12:38 pm

I wish he's go quail-shooting with Dick Cheney and Dick chooses to shoot quail with buckshot that day.

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 12:41 pm

Shit even better, they go out into the woods and Dick's new heart skips out and before he dies (because he will NEVER die) he just reaches inside Paul's chest and starts all over again. Cause you know he would.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Well its fucking Cheney, he'd do it to his mother, of course he'd do it to this vicious little prick.

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Cheney's Organ Harvesting Ranch is completely organic, and his Free Range Youth are all led in P90X daily by the ranch hands, who are extremely nervous when given their performance reviews, also.

Nowisallthereis October 16, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Instead of releasing caged quail to shoot, Dick and Eddie could use homeless people. Much easier targets.

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Also, there will be a shit ton more volunteer (i.e. unpaid) jobs.

zumpie October 16, 2012 at 12:22 pm

I'm sure all the Rombots will now insist Eddie honored that poor homeless man with his P90X presence!

Crank_Tango October 16, 2012 at 12:29 pm

I heard Ryan actually does P180X. It's twice as hardcore and half as useful.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 12:32 pm

And he does the hour-long workout in thirty minutes.

LesBontemps October 16, 2012 at 12:37 pm

He cooks a three-minute egg in 90 seconds!

Geminisunmars October 16, 2012 at 12:50 pm

And cums…

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 2:11 pm

He ran nine miles in seven minutes yesterday.

NellCote71 October 16, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Skipping part of the process seems to be in his portfolio. Witness cleaning an already clean kitchen.

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Now now, he's just OCD. Just ODC, I mean. No, wait, OCD was right. OCD. OCD. O.C.D.

Aw, damn, now I have to go check that I turned the lights out.

Dr_Zoidberg October 16, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Did you lock the front door? I bet you forgot – you better check that, too.

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Aw, shit! And the iron! I bet I left the iron on too!

Wait. Did I turn the lights out?

Estproph October 16, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Just to be on the safe side, you have to spin around 3 times before you check. Otherwise it might become unlocked.

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 12:42 pm

OK, one….two…did you say three or four?

poncho_pilot October 16, 2012 at 12:31 pm

unplug the toaster. could light on fire.

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 12:34 pm

I don't have a toaster.

Wait. I'd better check.

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Did you sign my check? Go check.

MosesInvests October 16, 2012 at 12:36 pm

That's CDO-in alphabetical order, as it should be.

Native_of_SL_UT October 16, 2012 at 1:58 pm

That reminds me, it's time to vacuum out the heater vents.
Don't want them dust bunnies setting the house on fire the first time the heater kicks on.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 12:22 pm

For someone I guessed was a compulsive handwasher, Ryan certainly looks like he's never seen a faucet before.

ChillBill October 16, 2012 at 12:23 pm

"Here, take a voucher, old man."

Pat_Pending October 16, 2012 at 12:23 pm

"Hi, I'm pretending to be a human. Here are some humans. Let's briefly do as the humans do. Ok, we're done. Hi human, I live in something almost human-like. Here's the door, let's walk through it and shed our human skins so we can breathe dryer lint again. Humans are stupid."

Estproph October 16, 2012 at 12:37 pm

I hear Romeny and Ryan will be joining the cast of The Neighbors.

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 2:11 pm

"Death to all Humans" — Bender B. Rodriguez

Dr_Zoidberg October 16, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Oh my god, Little Lord Fauntleroy shook that homeless man's hand! Quick, Jeeves, bring him a gallon of hand sanitizer and the good handkerchiefs!

Mittaplasia October 16, 2012 at 2:31 pm

…the ones you can write debate notes on.

SexySmurf October 16, 2012 at 12:24 pm

The best part is at the end where Paul Ryan, grabbing a dish towel, says to the cameras, "Now watch this dry!"

Oblios_Cap October 16, 2012 at 12:25 pm

"I'm gonna water them and you're going to dry them"?

you can tell that Eddie Munster has sure washed a lot of dishes!

What an insipid little jackass.

noodlesalad October 16, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Kid should have responded "I have a plan that will get these dishes cleaner, faster, using no water or soap. I will tell you the specific details after you have paid me $100 million."

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Needs more tax cuts

TootsStansbury October 16, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Only in "post racial" and post Fox-ized Murka can a pair of cartoon villains come so close to being elected to the highest office I'm the land.

Native_of_SL_UT October 16, 2012 at 2:02 pm

They are Captain Stern and Hanover Fist in the flesh.

elviouslyqueer October 16, 2012 at 12:27 pm

"Walk faster, and don't look at or touch the scary Black homeless man, kids. We sure don't want to catch any poverty he might be carrying."

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 12:39 pm

Was he black? He just looked like he spent the summer outside to me, being homeless.

Mittaplasia October 16, 2012 at 2:33 pm

A perfectly understandable mistake; all poors look alike.

LesBontemps October 16, 2012 at 12:27 pm

He "spent a summer washing dishes," and yet never learned how to tell which ones had been washed already? That must have been one long, unsatisfying summer.

Exhausted66 October 16, 2012 at 12:53 pm

It's where he learned to turn the "dirty" side away from the cameras.

marymee October 16, 2012 at 3:15 pm

The volunteers will have to REWASH those dishes….you can't use a towel to dry dishes in a commercial kitchen. They MUST be air-dryed and washing the dishes is a three step sanitizing process. What a tool.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Man its like, cynicism, but raised to a superhuman level, pure essence of refined contemptuous cynicism. Just shameless fucking not even giving a hint of a shit about even making a fucking pretense at being fucking real about any motherfucking thing at all! Just fucking hubristic "I can fool all you idiots because I am so so so fucking sharp, you fucking idiots." So fucking, well, fuck. I hope he fucking chokes to fucking death slowly on his own dick is all.

LesBontemps October 16, 2012 at 12:31 pm

With votes, you mean.

Dr_Zoidberg October 16, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Exactly. You know, inside Ryan is hating every minute of this and just wishing the election was over so he didn't have to pretend to care anymore.

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Look, I gots no probs with being disgusted at hanging out with the kinds of folks who would vote for PaulR and allow him to pander at them, I wouldn't wanna do it either, but that's why I am not a Republican candidate for anything.

The way he touches that lady you can tell he's very, hey look at me, touching a common person, aren't I great? Just, no.

joshleefolsom October 16, 2012 at 12:39 pm

You nailed my boss there, too, total faker who gets 20k more than me to show up and let the place run itself. So, in conclusion, that's life?

prommie October 16, 2012 at 12:43 pm

It really is, sadly.

Oblios_Cap October 16, 2012 at 12:44 pm

That's Latin, baby. Mr. Ryan is an educated man. Now I know I hate him.

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 1:31 pm

mayor rahm?

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 2:16 pm

"Just fucking hubristic "I can fool all you idiots because I am so so so fucking sharp, you fucking idiots." "

something about something something going before a fall?

mbobier October 16, 2012 at 3:35 pm

"Essence of Refined Contemptuous Cynicism" is Paul Ryan's favorite aftershave.

Crank_Tango October 16, 2012 at 12:28 pm

If the homeless would just do P90X, then they too could have the glamour muscles of eddie munster and something something Reagan, freedom, job creators. Also, Ayn Rand.

zumpie October 16, 2012 at 12:35 pm

And be the new Jack Kennedy, also, too

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 12:44 pm

It takes very little equipment! The slatterns can curl their whelps!

SigDeFlyinMonky October 16, 2012 at 1:04 pm

I do hope your not advocating sliding puppies down the ice.

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 12:28 pm

From beasts they scorn as soulless,
In forest, field, and den,
The cry goes up to witness
The soullessness of men.

~M. Frida Hartley

zumpie October 16, 2012 at 12:29 pm

"is this a brush???" is Goober Munster for "why wasn't my fucking photo op completley set up, plebes??". Meanwhile, Mrs. Goober Munster looks likes, "ooooohhhh, so THAT'S what Consuelo does when I accuse her of watching telenovelas all day. And dok her sub minimum wage pay!"

elviouslyqueer October 16, 2012 at 12:30 pm

And the award for Best Orchestrated Pretend Photo-Op in the History of Ever goes to…

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Commander Cod-Piece libel!

Generation[redacted] October 16, 2012 at 12:42 pm

DISHES ACCOMPLISHED

LesBontemps October 16, 2012 at 12:45 pm

So much win, right there.

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Absolutely!

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Love it.

elviouslyqueer October 16, 2012 at 12:54 pm

*applauds wildly*

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 12:44 pm

Well, Hitler's jig in Paris just dropped down to second.

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Not this bullshit.

starfanglednut October 16, 2012 at 3:00 pm

AOTK.

1stNewtontheMoon October 16, 2012 at 12:30 pm

he cleaned exactly the same number of dishes all the other republicans do in their fantasy land where poors depend on churches, charities, and the kindness of strangers instead of having a safety net provided by the government. watch closely, 47%-ers. this is your future.

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Again – *H*O*W* can this election be THIS close?!?!?!?!

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 1:14 pm

That's what I keep banging my head against the wall trying to figure out.

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Oh, right; the skin, the skin.

An_Outhouse October 16, 2012 at 12:31 pm

There's an ad for a Chinese language course when I watch that video. How appropriate.

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Say, did I read somewhere that Ryan ramrodded his way in? I could have sworn I saw that on the net. Maybe it was at Gawker.

eggsacklywright October 16, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Jack Wrangler libel?

kittensdontlie October 16, 2012 at 1:03 pm

I am glad he put his clothes back on for this video.

kittensdontlie October 16, 2012 at 1:09 pm

It was last week on the TV Guide site.

CrunchyKnee October 16, 2012 at 12:33 pm

It seems that Paul "fucktard" Ryan would just let the invisible hand of the "free market" wash those poors' dishes.

Blueb4sinrise October 16, 2012 at 12:33 pm

Ryan to homeless man: Oh sure, it's always about YOU!

Roy Hobbson October 16, 2012 at 12:34 pm

"Oh hey cool I live in a town too."

If the dismissive jerking-off motion could speak, it would sound just like that.

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 2:20 pm

"If the dismissive jerking-off motion could speak, it would sound just like that."

I just re-watched the movie "Wolf" this weekend. Every word, gesture, and facial expression of the smarmy James Spader yuppie villain character* reminded me of Ryan.

*redundant; all James Spader characters are smarmy yuppie villains

KeepFnThatChicken October 16, 2012 at 12:34 pm

Did he say "I live in a town similar called Jesusville"?

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 1:15 pm

No, that's where he's going to live.

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Not soon enough.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Next week Ryan will be telling people that he built that homeless shelter from the ground up with his bare hands, pounding the nails with his fists.

FakaktaSouth October 16, 2012 at 12:37 pm

In 3hours and 23minutes.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Then he climbed every mountain with a homeless person on his back, just to allow them to enjoy the view!

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 12:48 pm

With his blue ox Babe! Wait, that was Paul Bunyan, not Paul Ryan.

KeepFnThatChicken October 16, 2012 at 12:39 pm

…and when he screwed the sheetrock in, he screwed the sheetrock in.

Exhausted66 October 16, 2012 at 12:55 pm

But the Obama closed it during the Bush administration.

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 2:21 pm

You don't want to know what he's pounding the nails with.

KotBR October 16, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Well, come on, it's not like the homeless are allowed to vote in Ohio.

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 12:38 pm

What is with the typewriter sounds all over the first half of the video?! Did Walter Winchell's ghost cover this event?

LesBontemps October 16, 2012 at 12:51 pm

No, I think it must have been Weegee. It's a murder scene, afer all.

CthuNHu October 16, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Liberal media photographers clicking like crazy to document The Great Unwashing of 2012.

gullywompr October 16, 2012 at 12:39 pm

God, they are horrible at this.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Advance team fail, yes.

KeepFnThatChicken October 16, 2012 at 12:41 pm

With all these goddamn kids running around, I think less and less "Paul Ryan" and more and more "Rick Santorum".

angelfoot October 16, 2012 at 12:42 pm

Are those his own kids he's using as stage props in this fraud? What a fine, fine father he is.

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Daddy's Little Dividends…

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Well, Obama makes his kids go and volunteer at places like this with himself and Michelle, too. But they actually stay for a good long time, and do actual work.

Radiotherapy October 16, 2012 at 12:46 pm

"You get callouses on your fingers because it's so hot."

He's never done manual labor in his life.

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 12:49 pm

His only callouses are on his heart…

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 2:22 pm

And his palm.

swordfis October 16, 2012 at 12:52 pm

I was a dishwasher for a few months, and you're right. He must have very coddled, aristocratic hands. Too bad they're attached to a lowbrow sociopath.

Toomush_Infer October 16, 2012 at 1:07 pm

So did you get callouses from the hot water?…..

swordfis October 16, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Not at all; apparently I have plebian hands.

finallyhappy October 16, 2012 at 2:05 pm

no- not from hot water!

GunToting[Redacted] October 16, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Jeebus wept. Sticking your hands in hot water does NOT give you callouses. FFS, they cause you to lose calluses, because the skin gets so sodden and pruny that your skin sloughs off. Chapped skin leading to cracking and bleeding at the knuckles? Yes. Callouses? no.

mrblifil October 16, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I don't know. His ability to catapult the propaganda by constantly lying every time he draws breath shows he has a high tolerance for repetitive tasks.

LibertyLover October 16, 2012 at 2:54 pm

He did drive the Weinermobile around for a summer, too. Never mind, it was probably automatic.

Gleem McShineys October 16, 2012 at 4:03 pm

"You get callouses on your fingers because the SuperPAC cash is so hot, but its callouses on your tongue you have to see the doctor about"

P90X'd that for you, in record time

T3rbo October 16, 2012 at 12:48 pm

This just shows how much social justice catholics love Ryan. The day to day parish priest in suburbia likes to point out, on archdiocese orders, how Obama is a baby killer who makes them pay for birth control, but those who actually serve the poor keep it in perspective. Yes, Obama does support access to birth control and abortion, but catholics who are oriented around social justice and serving the poor know for a fact that Ryan/Romney would hurt poor people through their policies. The guy who blew the whistle on this non event didn't do so because he thought the whole thing was in bad taste, he probably did it because he sees Ryan/Romney cutting more holes in the safety net.

From the Nuns on the Bus:

We are deeply troubled by your campaign’s recent advertisements and statements about welfare, which we believe demonize the families we serve and reflect a woeful lack of knowledge about the challenges faced by tens of millions of Americans. By accepting our invitation, we hope that you will have the opportunity to see firsthand the struggles of those in need and have the compassion to desist your campaign’s harsh attacks.

Invitation accepted: Ryan saw that the greatest obstacle, for poor people, was pans that had not been double washed.

Chow Yun Flat October 16, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Dishwashing is a job often taken by undocumented workers especially in cities since it is a crummy job that stays crummy.

It would be a shame to replace a hardworking immigrant supporting his family by sending remittances but Ryan might have found his real career.

finallyhappy October 16, 2012 at 2:07 pm

I see Hispanic guys doing the dishes at the back of Chinese restaurants- and do not ASK ME why I am walking down the alley behind the restaurants

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 2:25 pm

"Ryan might have found his real career."

Yeah, showing up after somebody else did the real work and taking credit for it.
Oh wait, he's already a Republican.

TootsStansbury October 16, 2012 at 12:50 pm

Did he really look at the directions on the dish soap?

elviouslyqueer October 16, 2012 at 12:59 pm

I noticed that too. Apparently he was confused by the whole "pour detergent on sponge or brush, wet until sudsy" process.

YerMa October 16, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Or the ingredients.

"ah, yes, active ingredients include the sweat of hobos and lady power!"

orygoon October 16, 2012 at 12:51 pm

1. He's going to "water" the dishes? wtf is he talking about?
2. Mr. Goon can actually wash dirty dishes. I guess that is why I married him.
3. Ryan is telling his kids how dishes are washed, because, let me guess, they have no clue. That is the weirdest thing of all, maybe?

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Strangers in a totally strange land…

finallyhappy October 16, 2012 at 2:08 pm

you water the dishes and then they grow That is how you make your service for 4 into service for 8- right?

MissTaken October 16, 2012 at 12:51 pm

The more I learn about this Eddie Munster fellow the more I dislike him. I thought my disdain for him was as low as the Mariana Trench before he was even the VP nominee, but amazingly, it just continues to dive….down down down.

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Rock Munster!! Down, down!!

DerrickWildcat October 16, 2012 at 12:53 pm

The Venus of the soup kitchen is waiting there for me
And all us poor cripples who've been in the wars
End up sleeping on her floor

kittensdontlie October 16, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Mittens said it couldn't be done, but Ryan won over a 47%er with his simple pitch of towney-ism.

whiskeybaby October 16, 2012 at 12:57 pm

Fucking menial labor…how does it work?

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 1:27 pm

You mean running for vice president, right?

GorzoTheMighty October 16, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Was Leni Riefenstahl unavailiable fo film this victory of faith?

SigDeFlyinMonky October 16, 2012 at 1:00 pm

I'm tending to throw my support the national ticket of the I Wash My Hands party this time out. IWMH 2012/ Pilate, Lady Macbeth.

Toomush_Infer October 16, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Okay, so did you get calluses from the hot water?….

orygoon October 16, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Of course not. You get sore feet and a wicked aching back, but you do not get calluses from washing dishes at a restaurant. What, nobody here ever had a Real Jerb?

finallyhappy October 16, 2012 at 2:04 pm

also working in kitchens- I get burned. I have spilled boiling pasta water on my stomach and currently have a long burn healing on my arm from removing a large baking tray from the oven These are from my current volunteer "jobs"

orygoon October 16, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Oh, bless you for doing that. Yeah, working kitchen in the restaurant world is about getting burns, which hurt so damned much. Fortunately I just got minor ones–grease spatters and stuff. Still, I hated that. Also, the occasional knife slice on the hand. Yow.

starfanglednut October 16, 2012 at 2:57 pm

My personal worst was, at age 15, having to empty the giant trash cans out back and carry the bags of trash to the curb. I was so small I had to turn the cans on their sides to remove the bags, and rats would run out between my legs. But I was a 15 year old street kid who got medical care at free clinics, you know, a taker , and thus deserved what I got. Fuck Paul Ryan.

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Keep an aloe plant in your kitchen or on your windowsill at home. From my years as a restaurant cook chef, I remember that nothing healed burns quite as well as fresh aloe.

viennawoods13 October 16, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Lavender oil is even better.

GunToting[Redacted] October 16, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Yeah, no calluses… Major chapping and eventual split knuckles are more the norm.

shelwood46 October 16, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Maybe we weren't doing it right? I never got calluses either, but I don't recall using a brush, also too.

Toomush_Infer October 16, 2012 at 1:08 pm

Well, at least we know now why Romney hired him…..

kyeshinka October 16, 2012 at 1:13 pm

He didn't punch a homeless guy in the face because the cameras were rolling. But he did set fire to a shelter on the way to the airport.

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Bless Mr Ryan's lying heart. He's trying but it always looks like he's trying too hard. Like his biceps.

James Michael Curley October 16, 2012 at 1:32 pm

For all you who are technophobic, here is a little of what you miss out on when you don't read the manual. Since the tubes appear to be clogged in the Next Post, which will be titled "Abusive Ogre Barack Obama Forces Hillary Clinton Into Taking Responsibility For her Department" If you comment on it here in an older post and hit the little "windows" button on the lower left of your key board, your comment will magically jump into the next Post to let the Editrix know something is not working.

Slim_Pickins October 16, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Well you can't expect the Vice President (practically)-Elect to wash a dirty pan, can you?

decentcitizen October 16, 2012 at 1:54 pm

The obvious contempt for the American voter in this display conceals the hidden contempt Ryan has for the disadvantaged.

mrblifil October 16, 2012 at 2:03 pm

"Mommy why is that man washing the clean dishes?"

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Wow, I didn't think it was possible to hate that preening little fuck any worse.

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 2:13 pm

I suppose it's to be considered progress that Smirky didn't actually say the word "cooties" out loud.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 16, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Paul has a full size shower on the bus that sprays nothing but hand sanitizer for just such emergencies.

OneYieldRegular October 16, 2012 at 2:18 pm

If that old man expected attention from Paul Ryan or Mitt Romney, then he should have brought along his fancy yacht taking on water in Lake Winnipesaukee.

SavageDrummer October 16, 2012 at 2:19 pm

I'm going to work at a soup kitchen tonight actually, anyone have any ideas how I could parlay that into a "runner up for the second most powerful man in the world" deal?

rebeccavegas October 16, 2012 at 2:27 pm

So, as a "professional" dishwasher, I can tell you that Paul Ryan is a shithead. Also, you can't get calluses from hot water – you can burn your skin, and your nails will get fucked all to hell, but not calluses.

TavariousChinaSmith October 16, 2012 at 2:28 pm

"I spent the summer washing dishes. We had a Hobart. Well, at least I think that was the man's name."

TavariousChinaSmith October 16, 2012 at 2:36 pm

We can laugh, but really this spectacle is just incredibly sad, kind of like Keanu Reeves performing Hamlet or something.

dennis1943 October 16, 2012 at 2:38 pm

He's checking the facilities for after the election………

Steverino247 October 16, 2012 at 2:42 pm

These fuckers just keep lying and lying and it doesn't matter because Obama's father was Kenyan. I don't see any other reason why this is even close. There's no evidence to support anything they say and tons opposing it, but still bullshit prevails.

ttommyunger October 16, 2012 at 3:33 pm

They. Are. White.

VeraSevera October 16, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I'm afraid to watch.

mbobier October 16, 2012 at 3:33 pm

YOU DO NOT GET CALLUSES FROM HOT WATER, IDJIT!

ttommyunger October 16, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Did not watch… Eating.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 16, 2012 at 3:45 pm

How come its inappropriate to ask candidates about their children, but its okay to trot them out for photo ops (both sides do this. Rahm almost shivved a reporter for daring to ask about his kids)

Gleem McShineys October 16, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Gosh, daddy, I thought you said you got those callouses in your mouth from the superPAC guys? Did they make you drink hot water?

DahBoner October 16, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Play "Misty" for me…

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 16, 2012 at 7:02 pm

So, politician does politiciany thing. People who disagree with his policies are outraged. The dishes got washed. Please direct me to the problem here so that I can be outraged too.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 1:27 pm

You ever read about those bird-slaughtering expeditions he would go on? Him and his vampiric cohorts would go on canned hunts, to kill farm-raised, tame ducks and quail and pheasants, and literally, literally kill HUNDREDS EACH. Disgusting bloodthirsty evil cocksucker that man is, demonic, truly diabolical and I mean that in the Roman Catholic way in which there are venial sins and diabolical sins.

prommie October 16, 2012 at 1:31 pm

We can stop in and see Bobby right next door, too! Cath can get us some rotten vegetables from the organic co-op! We got it all down now!

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 1:32 pm

What about the venereal sins? I guess that's why he always used Dubya as a condom.

tessiee October 16, 2012 at 2:10 pm

He's an old, rich, white guy, so all his sins are venerable sins.

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