OH GOOD THIS AGAIN  11:35 am October 16, 2012

Chick-Fil-A Grifts For More Of That Sweet, Sweet Anti-Gay Cash

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

light in its loafers also too
What do you think, Chick-fil-A? Would only a fruitcake not love your party trays? Well we think you are aiming low! There are so many more people we can think of right off the bat who would not love your party trays!

  • Butt Pirates. Butt pirates would not love your party trays.
  • Fudge-Packers. Fudge-packers would not love your party trays too.
  • Gay Homosexuals. We are pretty sure they would not love your party trays either, because if they were having a party, they would probably want to serve actual food.

Chick-fil-A must really miss Sarah Palin and Miss Lindsey stuffing their maws with Chick-fil-A’s meat.

[DailyDolt]

 
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{ 105 comments }

WhatTheHolyHeck October 16, 2012 at 11:38 am

Only Savior-killing Christ deniers wouldn't love their party trays.

I am a Savior-killing Christ denier, and I approve this message.

nounverb911 October 16, 2012 at 11:38 am

Butt why does CFA hate Lindsey Graham?

OzoneTom October 16, 2012 at 11:49 am

Because the Senator is more of a Ham Biscuit kinda guy.

rickmaci October 16, 2012 at 11:39 am

Chick-fel-Ate fail.

ChillBill October 16, 2012 at 11:44 am

Chick-Fil-Atio.

EatsBabyDingos October 16, 2012 at 11:39 am

Republican chickens like Chick-fil-A.

Buzz Feedback October 16, 2012 at 11:39 am

I'm looking forward to the "2013 Calendar" and its twelve depictions of the missionary position.

Chet Kincaid_ October 16, 2012 at 11:40 am

But, "nutty as a fruitcake" = insane person! It is also getting near holiday party season, when fruitcakes used to propagate, before everyone hated them.

Naw, I like your insinuation better.

– Chet Kincaid, Professional Party Pooper

MosesInvests October 16, 2012 at 11:49 am

What he said.

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 11:55 am

Now Chet — we all know that fruitcakes (the allegedly edible kind) don't propogate — I think it was Studs Terkel who argued that there was only one fruitcake in the entire world and people just kept passing it around to their relatives.

Cicada October 16, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Fruitcakes propagating is a danger to the sanctity of marriage.

BornInATrailer October 16, 2012 at 12:08 pm

I would like to chime in with my quasi-related suggestion that people try Alton Brown's "free range fruitcake" recipe. It does not contain any citron and I, who am traditionally a fruitcake hater, love this fruitcake. Been making ti for years now. Fair warning, the ingredients are not cheap.

HistoriCat October 16, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Needs more alcohol.

BornInATrailer October 16, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Assuming sarcasm.

HistoriCat October 16, 2012 at 4:41 pm

You can never have too much alcohol in a fruit cake.

viennawoods13 October 16, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Martha Stewart has a good recipe too.

Generation[redacted] October 16, 2012 at 12:31 pm

I would think baked goods of all kinds would rally 'round the banner, "eat moar chiken and sof serv ice creem!"

Also, Collin Street Bakery fruit cakes from Tyler, TX. I'll admit, I like them. But they're the only ones.

EatsBabyDingos October 16, 2012 at 11:41 am

I'd eat Chick-fil-A (I'm lying), but I'm on a diet and only eat lardsicles.

LibertyLover October 16, 2012 at 11:41 am

I think we might be getting CFA all wrong. They don't mind the geigh who are still in the closet. They just don't like the ones that want to come out of the closet and get geigh married.

That's pretty much the only way to explain Miss Lindsey.

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 11:45 am

Miss Lindsey loves her some CFA, but hates all the squats needed after!

mbobier October 16, 2012 at 11:41 am

Frankly, I would rather eat fruitcake than anything Chick-Fil-A has to offer.

mrpuma2u October 16, 2012 at 11:53 am

Some straight people who have moved beyond the fried meat and starch groups might also dislike chick fullacrap as devoid of any culinary redeeming qualities, and therefore sucky.

rocktonsam October 16, 2012 at 12:07 pm

also, teh gheys would never eat that party tray because it doesn't have any vegetables too.

elviouslyqueer October 16, 2012 at 11:41 am

Fudge-Packers. Fudge-packers would not love your party trays too.

I object!

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 11:47 am

YEA! MITT ROMNEY LIBEL!

calliecallie October 16, 2012 at 11:48 am

LOL!

weejee October 16, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Technically, isn't Willard a fudge pachyderm?

T3rbo October 16, 2012 at 11:42 am

I like what they did there-if they said cocksucker, they would have excluded lesbians. Very clever

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 11:42 am

The calendars are repurposed People of Walmart centerfolds with the Chick Fil A logo.

DemmeFatale October 16, 2012 at 6:02 pm

I like the li'l trucknutz in pic 4.

ChillBill October 16, 2012 at 11:43 am

Irony is a party tray best served cold.

GregComlish October 16, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Good one

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 16, 2012 at 11:44 am

Fuck a duck.

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 11:46 am

Oh man! That's so funny! It was even funnier when I read it in seventh grade!

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 11:51 am

I think 7th grade actor could come up with a better ad campaign. Probably with the word "Cock" in it — because of the birds and such.

T3rbo October 16, 2012 at 11:56 am

Put our hot fried cocks in your holes, because jesus?

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 12:00 pm

These cocks are sinfully delicious?

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Party peckers

Blueb4sinrise October 16, 2012 at 11:46 am

Only a r****d would eat at CFA.

PsycWench October 16, 2012 at 11:47 am

Having been present at receptions that heavily featured CFA party trays, I have to say that I am officially a fruitcake. The combination of the actual product with the extended holding time associated with party trays is not a winning combination.

kittensdontlie October 16, 2012 at 12:02 pm

♫ I am fruitcake, she's a fruitcake, he's a fruitcake, we're a fruitcake, wouldn't you like to be a fruitcake too?!! ♫

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 11:47 am

Chamblee…that resembles the name of a cross-dressing hooker I used to know in Atlanta…

PubOption October 16, 2012 at 1:58 pm

It's also the French pronunciation of Chambliss.

Boojum October 16, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Given that Atlanta has one of the highest populations of teh ghey in the Country, and Chamblee is kinda part of Atlanta, I think that there should be a large flash mob descending on this store, each of should carefully study the menu and then order a free cup of water.

widestanceromance October 16, 2012 at 11:47 am

Bone smokers would not care for C-F-A any more than rump riders (weinie washers are all closeted types so they'd care for it daily, in front of cameras while impregnating Maggie Gallagher on a flag).

freakishlywrong October 16, 2012 at 11:47 am

I'd throw out there that the folks who shovel Chick -Fuck-A are not light in the loafers. Not by a long shot.

Dumbedup October 16, 2012 at 12:39 pm

It is NOT the recommended diet for achieving that ripped, sexy bod that gays (and everyone else) desire(s).

ph7 October 16, 2012 at 11:47 am

Also, Chik-Fil-A refuses to accept $3 bills.

hagajim October 16, 2012 at 11:48 am

Doesn't Chik-Fil-A give you oily discharge? No wonder Santorum is their best customer.

no_gravity October 16, 2012 at 11:48 am

Only people light in their loafers would not love your party trays.

weejee October 16, 2012 at 11:48 am

Can we use Chick-fil-A party trays tonight for the debates? With a Wrist-Rocket™ they would be great ammo for when Willard is fapping, er flapping his jaw.

jamsie25 October 16, 2012 at 11:49 am

I don't buy the "only a fruitcake wouldn't love" thing. Sarah Palin is a bloody fruit cake and I bet she's mounting a moose right this second to ride to the nearest Chick-fil-A to cram one of their non-gay party trays down her sassy maw.

YouFail4eva October 16, 2012 at 11:49 am

So, I take it Chick Fil A is not a fan of the surprise buttsechs, huh?

I haz a sad

Crank_Tango October 16, 2012 at 11:49 am

Chick-Fil-A, the perfect way for uncle-fuckers to get their diabetes on.

Joshua Norton October 16, 2012 at 11:50 am

Dem protest: Carry a sign. Strike.

Wingnut protest: Eat a lard infused sandwich because fags.

Head. Hurts.

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 11:51 am

Thinning the herd.

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 12:09 pm

So to speak…

elviouslyqueer October 16, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Exactly. Only in Wingnuttia would obesity, diabetes, and death = #winning.

YouFail4eva October 16, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Hooray Obamacare! Now fat people can't be denied health insurance because of diabetes!

Wait, what?

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 1:03 pm

And someone they get people elected…

FNMA October 16, 2012 at 11:50 am

I guess the original copy — "Only people who don't want to die from congestive heart failure wouldn't love our party trays!" — did fit the ad space.

calliecallie October 16, 2012 at 11:51 am

I was trying to picture the party at which a CFA platter might be served, and now I kind of have that song from Deliverance running through my head.

Da da da-da,da-da,da-da,da….

Joshua Norton October 16, 2012 at 11:52 am

There are so many more people we can think of right off the bat who would not love your party trays!

The Donner Party had better food.

Mumbletypeg October 16, 2012 at 11:52 am

So "Chik-Fil-A Calendars" are what, the new Freedom Trays?

More great moments from the Idiot Agenda.

Goonemeritus October 16, 2012 at 11:52 am

The more high salt high cholesterol unhealthy food they can get Republicans to eat the more I like them. Maybe we could start a meme that the “Democrat Party” is waging a war on real America’s love of eating raw eggs and pork Tartar.

Generation[redacted] October 16, 2012 at 12:35 pm

I refuse to drink snake venom until DOMA is repealed!

Cicada October 16, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Can we convince them that libruls love good bourbon? Because hey, more for me.

FNMA October 16, 2012 at 12:59 pm

Not to change the subject — which means I will — whoever recommended Bulleit's rye made an exceptionally good call. Very tasty. And thanks for the reminder that I need to pick up a bottle on the way home so I'll be able to get through the debate tonight.

Cicada October 16, 2012 at 2:59 pm

If you're a rye drinker, High West Double Rye is pretty damn tasty too. They also have a bourbon-rye blend with a smoky finish called Campfire that makes me happy.

commiegirl99 October 16, 2012 at 4:02 pm

IT WAS I!!!

FNMA October 16, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Your taste in whiskey is surpassed only by your astonishing beauty and rapier wit.
(Now, do I get some free booze or something?)

elviouslyqueer October 16, 2012 at 11:53 am

From the comments:

So what’s the problem? All of a sudden gays don’t have a sense of humor? Don’t take everything so seriously.

See, here's the thing. I have an admittedly sardonic sense of humor. I tend to laugh at or be amused by things that are, by definition, funny. I tend not to laugh at things that are stupid, juvenile, or insulting (irrespective of who or what is being insulted). I'm funny like that. So, shorter me: fuck you very much, commenter.

DCBloom October 16, 2012 at 12:26 pm

I never read comments unless it's Wonkette or something left leaning. Keeps my blood pressure down.

Cicada October 16, 2012 at 12:45 pm

I bet you don't like Jeff Dunham either, you godless America-hater.

Esteev October 16, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Well that's only because he's not funny.

eggsacklywright October 16, 2012 at 11:54 am

I love that there are no CFAs in Warshington.

johnnyzhivago October 16, 2012 at 11:54 am

It's an interesting ad campaign, although it will probably go over the heads of most of their customers.

T3rbo October 16, 2012 at 11:58 am

Doubt it, they kept the grammar bad for against gays to read, understand.

Dudleydidwrong October 16, 2012 at 11:58 am

"When it comes to Chick-Fil-A, eat more beef"

We, the Holsteins, approve this message.

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Is that the Jersey Holsteins or the Austrian Holsteins?

If the latter, will we be seeing you in Gstaad this winter?

SayItWithWookies October 16, 2012 at 11:59 am

Only the brave members of GOProud, who profoundly believe in the Republican idea of self-interest in every respect except where it comes to their own sexuality, would manage to shove a Chick-Fil-A party tray into their mouths and pretend they liked it.

Estproph October 16, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Also: Chick-Fil-A disdained by queens.

Homos think Chick-Fil-A is too uniform.

Chick-Fil-A not assailed by butt pirates.

rocktonsam October 16, 2012 at 12:03 pm

"and Queer, that was our word first and we want it back!"

- H.Simpson

Kid_Charlemagne October 16, 2012 at 12:04 pm

In the wingnut world, there is no better way to exude class and sophistication than hosting a Chik-Fil-A-catered social event!

ManchuCandidate October 16, 2012 at 12:14 pm

KFC/Popeye's is too uppity and has too much dark meat for their taste.

Kid_Charlemagne October 16, 2012 at 12:22 pm

That's funny 'cos it's true!

WhatTheHeck October 16, 2012 at 12:06 pm

Judging from the comments, no one here likes Chick-Fil-A party trays.
That means we are all Fruitcakes today.

ManchuCandidate October 16, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Outside of a kid's b-day party, I can't imagine why you'd get catering from a junk food pusher.

KeepFnThatChicken October 16, 2012 at 12:08 pm

It has been several months since I last ate at Christ-Fil-A, and it shall be many more before I return.

RedneckMuslin October 16, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Hear fudge packers like their jobs. http://randomfunnypicture.com/tag/fudge-packer/

BadKitty904 October 16, 2012 at 12:13 pm

I'll admit I'm not a bidness type, but I'd think a corporate plan featuring bigotry, hatred, and actively working to deprive American citizens of equal rights is probably, long term, a bad idea.

Nostrildamus October 16, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Also, people with mouths.

TootsStansbury October 16, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Fruitcakes?! It's 1972?

RedneckMuslin October 16, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Green Bay Fudge Packers won't like their party tray.

I just wanted to say Green Bay Fudge Packers

actor212 October 16, 2012 at 12:16 pm

They were meat packers.

OK, same thing…

DerrickWildcat October 16, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Jesus personally spits in every Chicken sandwich.

SheriffRoscoe October 16, 2012 at 12:27 pm

I'll pass on the party tray.

And the Christianity.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 16, 2012 at 12:33 pm

They forgot fags, queers and dykes.

delaney_blom October 16, 2012 at 12:35 pm

Fruitcakes have better shelf life than Chik-Fil-A party trays, that's for sure.

I need to refresh my 2011 fruitcake with cognac this evening . . .

fuflans October 16, 2012 at 12:59 pm

CFA: blessed lard.

DahBoner October 16, 2012 at 1:12 pm

Uh, what part of the chicken is a nugget?

Tio_Doidinho October 16, 2012 at 1:17 pm

The part that can't be legally defined as "food".

PubOption October 16, 2012 at 2:00 pm

They should consider putting some British cuisine on their menu .http://britishfood.about.com/od/eorecipes/r/faggots.htm

ttommyunger October 16, 2012 at 3:27 pm

Miss Lindsey goes for the Giblets, some say…..

BornInATrailer October 16, 2012 at 4:48 pm

She gets pretty boozy. The rum starts it off but it is mainly the spritzing with brandy.

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