oh good this again

Chick-Fil-A Grifts For More Of That Sweet, Sweet Anti-Gay Cash

light in its loafers also too
What do you think, Chick-fil-A? Would only a fruitcake not love your party trays? Well we think you are aiming low! There are so many more people we can think of right off the bat who would not love your party trays!

  • Butt Pirates. Butt pirates would not love your party trays.
  • Fudge-Packers. Fudge-packers would not love your party trays too.
  • Gay Homosexuals. We are pretty sure they would not love your party trays either, because if they were having a party, they would probably want to serve actual food.

Chick-fil-A must really miss Sarah Palin and Miss Lindsey stuffing their maws with Chick-fil-A’s meat.

[DailyDolt]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • WhatTheHolyHeck

    Only Savior-killing Christ deniers wouldn't love their party trays.

    I am a Savior-killing Christ denier, and I approve this message.

  • nounverb911

    Butt why does CFA hate Lindsey Graham?

    • OzoneTom

      Because the Senator is more of a Ham Biscuit kinda guy.

  • rickmaci

    Chick-fel-Ate fail.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

      Chick-Fil-Atio.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Republican chickens like Chick-fil-A.

  • Buzz Feedback

    I'm looking forward to the "2013 Calendar" and its twelve depictions of the missionary position.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    But, "nutty as a fruitcake" = insane person! It is also getting near holiday party season, when fruitcakes used to propagate, before everyone hated them.

    Naw, I like your insinuation better.

    — Chet Kincaid, Professional Party Pooper

    • MosesInvests

      What he said.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      Now Chet — we all know that fruitcakes (the allegedly edible kind) don't propogate — I think it was Studs Terkel who argued that there was only one fruitcake in the entire world and people just kept passing it around to their relatives.

    • Cicada

      Fruitcakes propagating is a danger to the sanctity of marriage.

    • BornInATrailer

      I would like to chime in with my quasi-related suggestion that people try Alton Brown's "free range fruitcake" recipe. It does not contain any citron and I, who am traditionally a fruitcake hater, love this fruitcake. Been making ti for years now. Fair warning, the ingredients are not cheap.

      • HistoriCat

        Needs more alcohol.

        • BornInATrailer

          Assuming sarcasm.

          • HistoriCat

            You can never have too much alcohol in a fruit cake.

          • BornInATrailer

            She gets pretty boozy. The rum starts it off but it is mainly the spritzing with brandy.

      • viennawoods13

        Martha Stewart has a good recipe too.

    • Generation[redacted]

      I would think baked goods of all kinds would rally 'round the banner, "eat moar chiken and sof serv ice creem!"

      Also, Collin Street Bakery fruit cakes from Tyler, TX. I'll admit, I like them. But they're the only ones.

  • EatsBabyDingos

    I'd eat Chick-fil-A (I'm lying), but I'm on a diet and only eat lardsicles.

  • LibertyLover

    I think we might be getting CFA all wrong. They don't mind the geigh who are still in the closet. They just don't like the ones that want to come out of the closet and get geigh married.

    That's pretty much the only way to explain Miss Lindsey.

    • Esteev

      Miss Lindsey loves her some CFA, but hates all the squats needed after!

  • mbobier

    Frankly, I would rather eat fruitcake than anything Chick-Fil-A has to offer.

    • mrpuma2u

      Some straight people who have moved beyond the fried meat and starch groups might also dislike chick fullacrap as devoid of any culinary redeeming qualities, and therefore sucky.

    • rocktonsam

      also, teh gheys would never eat that party tray because it doesn't have any vegetables too.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Fudge-Packers. Fudge-packers would not love your party trays too.

    I object!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      YEA! MITT ROMNEY LIBEL!

    • calliecallie

      LOL!

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Technically, isn't Willard a fudge pachyderm?

  • T3rbo

    I like what they did there-if they said cocksucker, they would have excluded lesbians. Very clever

  • Esteev

    The calendars are repurposed People of Walmart centerfolds with the Chick Fil A logo.

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      I like the li'l trucknutz in pic 4.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Irony is a party tray best served cold.

    • GregComlish

      Good one

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Fuck a duck.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Oh man! That's so funny! It was even funnier when I read it in seventh grade!

    • Esteev

      I think 7th grade actor could come up with a better ad campaign. Probably with the word "Cock" in it — because of the birds and such.

      • T3rbo

        Put our hot fried cocks in your holes, because jesus?

        • Esteev

          These cocks are sinfully delicious?

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Party peckers

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Only a r****d would eat at CFA.

  • PsycWench

    Having been present at receptions that heavily featured CFA party trays, I have to say that I am officially a fruitcake. The combination of the actual product with the extended holding time associated with party trays is not a winning combination.

    • kittensdontlie

      ♫ I am fruitcake, she's a fruitcake, he's a fruitcake, we're a fruitcake, wouldn't you like to be a fruitcake too?!! ♫

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Chamblee…that resembles the name of a cross-dressing hooker I used to know in Atlanta…

    • PubOption

      It's also the French pronunciation of Chambliss.

    • Boojum

      Given that Atlanta has one of the highest populations of teh ghey in the Country, and Chamblee is kinda part of Atlanta, I think that there should be a large flash mob descending on this store, each of should carefully study the menu and then order a free cup of water.

  • widestanceromance

    Bone smokers would not care for C-F-A any more than rump riders (weinie washers are all closeted types so they'd care for it daily, in front of cameras while impregnating Maggie Gallagher on a flag).

  • freakishlywrong

    I'd throw out there that the folks who shovel Chick -Fuck-A are not light in the loafers. Not by a long shot.

    • Dumbedup

      It is NOT the recommended diet for achieving that ripped, sexy bod that gays (and everyone else) desire(s).

  • ph7

    Also, Chik-Fil-A refuses to accept $3 bills.

  • hagajim

    Doesn't Chik-Fil-A give you oily discharge? No wonder Santorum is their best customer.

  • no_gravity

    Only people light in their loafers would not love your party trays.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Can we use Chick-fil-A party trays tonight for the debates? With a Wrist-Rocket™ they would be great ammo for when Willard is fapping, er flapping his jaw.

  • jamsie25

    I don't buy the "only a fruitcake wouldn't love" thing. Sarah Palin is a bloody fruit cake and I bet she's mounting a moose right this second to ride to the nearest Chick-fil-A to cram one of their non-gay party trays down her sassy maw.

  • YouFail4eva

    So, I take it Chick Fil A is not a fan of the surprise buttsechs, huh?

    I haz a sad

  • Crank_Tango

    Chick-Fil-A, the perfect way for uncle-fuckers to get their diabetes on.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Dem protest: Carry a sign. Strike.

    Wingnut protest: Eat a lard infused sandwich because fags.

    Head. Hurts.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Thinning the herd.

      • BadKitty904

        So to speak…

      • elviouslyqueer

        Exactly. Only in Wingnuttia would obesity, diabetes, and death = #winning.

    • YouFail4eva

      Hooray Obamacare! Now fat people can't be denied health insurance because of diabetes!

      Wait, what?

    • Esteev

      And someone they get people elected…

  • FNMA

    I guess the original copy — "Only people who don't want to die from congestive heart failure wouldn't love our party trays!" — did fit the ad space.

  • calliecallie

    I was trying to picture the party at which a CFA platter might be served, and now I kind of have that song from Deliverance running through my head.

    Da da da-da,da-da,da-da,da….

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    There are so many more people we can think of right off the bat who would not love your party trays!

    The Donner Party had better food.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    So "Chik-Fil-A Calendars" are what, the new Freedom Trays?

    More great moments from the Idiot Agenda.

  • Goonemeritus

    The more high salt high cholesterol unhealthy food they can get Republicans to eat the more I like them. Maybe we could start a meme that the “Democrat Party” is waging a war on real America’s love of eating raw eggs and pork Tartar.

    • Generation[redacted]

      I refuse to drink snake venom until DOMA is repealed!

    • Cicada

      Can we convince them that libruls love good bourbon? Because hey, more for me.

      • FNMA

        Not to change the subject — which means I will — whoever recommended Bulleit's rye made an exceptionally good call. Very tasty. And thanks for the reminder that I need to pick up a bottle on the way home so I'll be able to get through the debate tonight.

        • Cicada

          If you're a rye drinker, High West Double Rye is pretty damn tasty too. They also have a bourbon-rye blend with a smoky finish called Campfire that makes me happy.

        • commiegirl99

          IT WAS I!!!

          • FNMA

            Your taste in whiskey is surpassed only by your astonishing beauty and rapier wit.
            (Now, do I get some free booze or something?)

  • elviouslyqueer

    From the comments:

    So what’s the problem? All of a sudden gays don’t have a sense of humor? Don’t take everything so seriously.

    See, here's the thing. I have an admittedly sardonic sense of humor. I tend to laugh at or be amused by things that are, by definition, funny. I tend not to laugh at things that are stupid, juvenile, or insulting (irrespective of who or what is being insulted). I'm funny like that. So, shorter me: fuck you very much, commenter.

    • DCBloom

      I never read comments unless it's Wonkette or something left leaning. Keeps my blood pressure down.

    • Cicada

      I bet you don't like Jeff Dunham either, you godless America-hater.

      • Esteev

        Well that's only because he's not funny.

  • eggsacklywright

    I love that there are no CFAs in Warshington.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    It's an interesting ad campaign, although it will probably go over the heads of most of their customers.

    • T3rbo

      Doubt it, they kept the grammar bad for against gays to read, understand.

  • Dudleydidwrong

    "When it comes to Chick-Fil-A, eat more beef"

    We, the Holsteins, approve this message.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Is that the Jersey Holsteins or the Austrian Holsteins?

      If the latter, will we be seeing you in Gstaad this winter?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Only the brave members of GOProud, who profoundly believe in the Republican idea of self-interest in every respect except where it comes to their own sexuality, would manage to shove a Chick-Fil-A party tray into their mouths and pretend they liked it.

  • Estproph

    Also: Chick-Fil-A disdained by queens.

    Homos think Chick-Fil-A is too uniform.

    Chick-Fil-A not assailed by butt pirates.

  • rocktonsam

    "and Queer, that was our word first and we want it back!"

    – H.Simpson

  • Kid_Charlemagne

    In the wingnut world, there is no better way to exude class and sophistication than hosting a Chik-Fil-A-catered social event!

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      KFC/Popeye's is too uppity and has too much dark meat for their taste.

      • Kid_Charlemagne

        That's funny 'cos it's true!

  • WhatTheHeck

    Judging from the comments, no one here likes Chick-Fil-A party trays.
    That means we are all Fruitcakes today.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      Outside of a kid's b-day party, I can't imagine why you'd get catering from a junk food pusher.

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    It has been several months since I last ate at Christ-Fil-A, and it shall be many more before I return.

  • RedneckMuslin

    Hear fudge packers like their jobs. http://randomfunnypicture.com/tag/fudge-packer/

  • BadKitty904

    I'll admit I'm not a bidness type, but I'd think a corporate plan featuring bigotry, hatred, and actively working to deprive American citizens of equal rights is probably, long term, a bad idea.

  • Nostrildamus

    Also, people with mouths.

  • TootsStansbury

    Fruitcakes?! It's 1972?

  • RedneckMuslin

    Green Bay Fudge Packers won't like their party tray.

    I just wanted to say Green Bay Fudge Packers

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      They were meat packers.

      OK, same thing…

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Jesus personally spits in every Chicken sandwich.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    I'll pass on the party tray.

    And the Christianity.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    They forgot fags, queers and dykes.

  • delaney_blom

    Fruitcakes have better shelf life than Chik-Fil-A party trays, that's for sure.

    I need to refresh my 2011 fruitcake with cognac this evening . . .

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    CFA: blessed lard.

  • DahBoner

    Uh, what part of the chicken is a nugget?

    • Tio_Doidinho

      The part that can't be legally defined as "food".

  • PubOption

    They should consider putting some British cuisine on their menu .http://britishfood.about.com/od/eorecipes/r/faggots.htm

  • ttommyunger

    Miss Lindsey goes for the Giblets, some say…..