Good times on the ol’ SPAN last night, as Ohio state Treasurer/debate club fetus TOOK IT to Senator Sherrod Brown, and by “took it to” we mean yelled his talking points with awesome macho frowning and stuff. Did you know that Josh Mandel served his country in Iraq? It is true, he did, though how he managed not to take a dose of friendly fire from his fellow troops who must have LOVED him is beyond what our puny mortal brains can understand. We think the first time he mentioned his service was in response to a Muslim fellow asking why he had run anti-Muslim ads against an opponent. The answer to that was “Iraq and ladies rights, don’t we all agree HENGHHH?” Then there was his answer to ladies’ rights HERE (clip not embeddable, FUCK YOU, SPAN!), to which his answer was “I have a wife and a mom! JERBS!” Dude, so suavay.
Anyhoo, it seems Josh Mandel is actually 35 years old, and not his high school’s debate club president who’s TOTALLY GONNA GO TO REGIONALS, so that’s adorable. Also adorable? His SOARING ORATORY when he thundered that “There is a War on Coal, and Barack Obama is its general and Sherrod Brown is one of his main lieutenants!” So we guess you all are the War on Coal’s privates! Thank you for your service.
[CSpan]
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Oh girl, please.
Dang. You're not kidding.
That twink's a walking band-camp story…
He plays the piccolo?
Borrowing from The Big Bang Theory, he's a clarinet enthusiast.
So he prefers snails to oysters, to borrow the Spartacus trope?
I will call that piccolo player a mutherfucker!
I dunno, he reminds me of Anthony Weiner when Anthony Weiner was still an assemblyman. You know, before he got all cocky.
Played the skin flute.
He's just on the look out for a bear that will erode his rights.
He's better watch out for ducks coming up from behind.
There was also a debate between Donnelly and Morlock last night. Not as much fun as this one though it did include the Libertarian candidate.
I thought it was between Morlock and the Eloi?
Needs more Yvette Mimieux.
He's got a face only a mother could love and only after 5 gin and tonics.
Have his testicles even dropped yet?
If by that you mean "straight into Tucker Carlson's mouth," then yes.
If he had them, they wouldn't have.
Does he need to shave everyday??
Hey, now!
Sorry, Josh (you lying fuckstick), I'm voting for Sherrod.
~
Mandel's likeability has been below water this entire election cycle. For a war vet who has won a House seat and a state office, that's an impressive feat. There is no amount of Tower City money that will get him elected.
Your move, Marcus.
That's his Bar Mitzvah photo, right?
Glee audition pic.
Catholic High School ID card photo.
Perhaps he went to the Catholic high school after hours to comfort the priest, but still… "Josh Mandel." Nice Jewish boy. Good family. Pity about the republican thing.
That Stockholm Syndrome is a bitch…
So, you're saying he's part of the media! Ah HA!
OT, but everyone should rush right out and buy a copy of today's WSJ and flip immediately to Section 4, where they can read a tasty expose about ear wax removal.
What a fine, fine thing the Daily Rupert has become….
If there is a war on coal, isn’t time for coal to declared victory. Coal has been kicking our collective ass for 300 years.
300 years and what do you get?
…Fifteen tons and a pile of debt?
I'm pretty sure he once carried my uncle Bruce's luggage through the airport.
Well I see a face coming through the haze,
I remember him from those crazy days.
Bellboy…
Today's bellboy is tomorrow's rentboy
Haha: "Uncle Bruce."
Is he actually, literally, wet behind the ears?
Please don't make me check. After having to see Rmoney's taint, I don't think I can handle it any more!
There is a War on Coal
And Mandel wants to burn it all to save it.
When the Natural Gas Robber Barons start contributing to his campaign, he will fight their war too.
Josh "I love women as playthings who can not make decisions without a man, but I'm not in love with women."
He must gets his policy decisions from Bryan Fischer.
He/She honestly looks like a girl in guy-drag…
She's a lesbian
The only way that guy is 35 is if his mom kept him in a jar of formaldahyde for 12 of those years. I'm 36 and I have the urge to yell at him to get off my lawn.
It's OK.
I have the urge to punch him in the throat.
I can't fap to that.
But if you can't fap to that, what can you fap to?
Where's the keg, bro?
Lame C-Span video. Besides the no-embed douchiness, it didn't show Josh's wife who was sitting ever so proudly in her hopsack burqa, obvs.
Mandel-brot his special vision thing.
Senator Brown should have turned to Mandel and screamed "IS THAT A PLEDGE PIN ON YOUR UNIFORM????"
You mean Josh never got the GPA up enough to do the initiation?
Pledge pin still makes him too old. "Is that your cub scout troop insignia"?
Warren coal is not as good as Warren Pease.
But better than mushy peas.
I'm still wishing for Whirled Peas.
Paul Ryan is the prototype for these guys now? I prefer that my elected official candidates not look like mortician trainees.
Does look like he embalmed himself. Gotta watch drinking too much of that formaldehyde. You'll get pickled like nobody's business.
Ah, memories of Mr. Joyboy dancing around his mother's bed with a turkey on a platter: "Mama's little baby loves shortnin', shortnin' Mama's little baby loves shortnin' bread!"
Dude, wth?
The Loved One, one of my all-time fav movies. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0059410/
Me too. The American way of death, before the book.
That's exactly what I thought when I first saw this scene!
He looks like he loves men also, too.
Yes, he does. Which is what's making me really uncomfortable.
In the clip he said his wife "has been Iraq to me". Fellas, if you want to win a woman's heart, don't liken her to a country. Especially one that Dubya Bush invaded to prove he has a bigger cock than his father. Women hate that.
True. Norway you should do that. You have to Sweden the pot.
On the other hand, if my husband compared me to a beautiful city, I might be down with that. Preferably a mythical city with no crime or slums.
Like Oz?
Shangri-La, more likely.
"My Shangri-La beneath the summer moon! I will return agaaaiiin…"
He thought he would be welcomed with open arms, but soon found himself in a quagmire. To find an Exit Strategy, he should consult with Mark Sanford or Newt Gingrich.
Why is he talking about his wife's rack?
Possibly because he likes to sweat the small stuff?
It seems to me that Sherrod Brown's gravelly grumbley voice alone could come out of his body and swallow this real-life claymation figure whole, much less the actual intellect and force behind it. I like him and his wife very much. Josh here looks just like a Mr Bill character, no? all doughy and gross? and I would very much like to squash him – yada yada splat, yada yada votes.
I am familiar with this category of young man, although I usually get them a little younger. They haven't listened to anyone else since they were about 15, and then they don't understand why everyone's mad at them.
SPOT on!
u mad?
So we guess you all are the War on Coal’s privates!
I've got the briquettes to prove it.
He looks like one of them Jehovah's Witless.
Or Doug Niedermeyer's little brother…
Ohio Senate Candidate Josh Mandel
That would violate the separation of jerk and state!
Regionals are this close!
Ooh, but you lost in the semis. Tough luck Feckless State, but I'm sure you'll be able ot make it next year. Thanks for playing!
Winner, 2012 Ralph Reed Lookalike Contest. Also douchy on the inside, just like Ralph.
Repubican platform pledges to be as helpful to women as a urinal.
Repubican governing on women's issues makes the case for the Equal Rights Amendment.
This reminds me of the debate when Michele Bachmann said "I'd like to recognize my wife Marcus".
when he thundered
OBjection. The witness states an impossibility. That boy couldn't thunder if you stuck lightning up his ass.
Well, here's his debate prep! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lz3u0hPOTqw
(Mmm, Miss Crabtree…)
IMPORTANT OT for Memphis-area Wonketteers: the Majestic Grille downtown is hosting a debate-watching party tonight from 7:30 to 9:30. Free hors-d'ouevres and cash bar, with proceeds going to Planned Parenthood. Get your drink on while watching Barry kick robot ass. BE THERE.
I wonder if he got started as a Congressional page.
Bookmarked and everything!
Earmarked, also.
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
"Yes! And my women subservient."
Josh, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
Ask Mark Foley.
That photo is like the dictionary definition of "whippersnapper".
Highly punchable face, also, too.
They call it Backpfeifengesicht.
PaDa"Mnik in Hebrew.
I KNEW that Yiddish was rich enough to have such a word.
with votes, right?
Obviously! But of course!
Yes sadly, Ohio is full of these people like Mandel, and wingtards and the undecideds that voted for him.
Why isn't he wearing a bow tie?
That is not the candidate — that's actually a photo of Mary Gross playing Alfalfa from the old SNL, right?
ETA: Just in case you want to check — she's about half a dozen pics down.
I sure hope he doesn't come to the same tragic end as Alfalfa. That would be wrong. Except with votes, of course.
He sure does reek of Alfalfa, doesn't he? Just like the Jug-Eared Bat.
Jeez, I always thought Mary Gross was really cute.
Oooh, tell us a story.
Why isn’t he running for president? Republicans really dropped the ball on this one.
If he wins the Senate race, he'll be running for President by November 10
Coal mining has such a rich history of social awareness and giving back to the communities where it operates that it's no wonder there's grass roots resistance to ending our carbon-dependency in its purest form.
Giving back, particularly to undertakers.
Looks kinda Mormon-y to me.
"Look, Mommy! I made a dookie in the big boy potty!"
2012: Year of the Twink
2013: Revenge of the Bears
He was OK on St Elsewhere, but I haven't liked him a bit since then.
I killed some coal yesterday. I got a boo boo on my finger doing it. Purple heart for me?
Oh, shucks, I already voted, for Brown. I guess I should have waited for the debate before voting.
Oh, so intolerable. Marine Corps Intelligence officer, Tea Party candidate, and JD all at the same time, how could anyone be more obnoxious? He is probably the toughest, smartest person in the whole world, and he has come to rescue America from itself. Mr. Mandel needs an ass kicking from the universe and he probably thinks he will never get one because he is so blessed
Nice summation…
You know, this jerkoff's beliefs are starting to really bother me. I have quite a few friends his age and younger that have latched their wagon to the GOP supernova and I can't wait to point, laugh and say "Told ya so" when it explodes.
Also, too, when I ask them "Why?" they always say "Because Obama hasn't done anything."
I usually respond with a query about the upcoming football game or reality TeeVee program.
My stock response is "Tell your wife/mother/girlfriend equal pay for equal work is 'nothing,' then get back to me after your hospital discharge."
"Women? Ewww! Women are icky!"
His last name really should be Niedermayer.
He doesn't even know his own collar size, judging from the picture.
That pic will infest my dreams. It's straight out of 'Terror of the Autons.'
Looks pretty much like he did in high school
Thumbs up for your avatar!
If I was Josh Mandel, I'd be more concerned with the War on Twinks
My God, they brought Kenny back to life and he's running for some office!
“I have a wife and a mom! JERBS!” = I suck cock
It's amazing what a bit of Koch cash can do, isn't it?
Crazy is sexay, though!
I'm not sexist, I have many black friends!
Worth a hate f'ck.
I think he would make a good Clearasil ad, at least.
Is his right ear bigger than his left ear?
Obviously Officer Material.
Holy Shit! A Republican who actually served in the military? Fuckin' A. Talk about your rara avis in extremis. Wow, between him and Allan West that's two!
Is that the kid from the Transformers movie?
But only in a Roman public bath
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