Dishwatergate: Paul Ryan Dishwashing Scandal Worse Than Ever Imagined

  if dishes were wishes beggars would ride

you can tell he's lying because he is awakeIn the distant past — a couple hours ago? — we saw on the Tweeter that utter douche Paul Ryan had done some stupid photo-op at a soup kitchen where breakfast had already been served and the dishes already washed. But never one to let a 15-minute investment be for naught, he picked up a sponge and faked washing some pans for the cameras. Now, we did not run with this TERRIBLE SCANDAL because we honestly figured that pretty much every politician on the planet would do the same thing, and sometimes (weirdly) we are not Titans of Hypocritical Partisanship. BUT! Now the soup kitchen’s president has bitched to the Post that HE OR SHE (okay, he, we checked now) is MAD AS HECK, because not only was it a bullshit photo op, but the Romney-Ryan campaign had “ramrodded” their way in. That does not sound very nice! Or heterosexual!

Brian Antal, president of the St. Vincent De Paul Society, is so mad you guys. Not only is he steamed about the campaign ramrodding its way in by getting a random volunteer to okay it, but he’s super fucking pissed that

“The photo-op they did wasn’t even accurate. He did nothing. He just came in here to get his picture taken at the dining hall. [...]

Had they asked for permission, it wouldn’t have been granted. … But I certainly wouldn’t have let him wash clean pans and then take a picture.”

The campaign claimed Ryan was there to draw attention to the fabulous work done by volunteers, and certainly wasn’t intended to create the (false) impression that Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan love poors and homelesses and sick children and other gross 47 percent moochers like that.

So, you know, still lying.

[WaPo]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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428 comments

  1. snowpointsecret

    Wait, back at Catholic school they did tons of work with St. Vincent de Paul… Does that mean we're about to have a Catholics vs. Republicans war? Quick, get the popcorn, this could be good!

      1. BadKitty904

        Interestingly, of *ALL* the sins that Jesus condemned, "hypocrisy" was the one He mentioned most.

        Coincidence? I think not.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      "Does that mean we're about to have a Catholics vs. Republicans war?"

      Eh, not so much. The Catholics that volunteer at SVDP tend to be the more progressive ones who actually concern themselves with doing Christ's work, and therefore mostly vote D anyway.

      And yes, they are in the minority.

      1. Negropolis

        And yes, they are in the minority.

        Really? Are they really? Which way did Catholics vote in 2008? My understanding is that while there has been a rightward march, the right-leaning Catholics are simply louder than their progressive bretheren, these days.

        1. Lascauxcaveman

          You're right, I don't know, just guessing. Someone should do a poll!

          This year, I'm guessing the Catholics are skewing slightly D, because, "WTF? A MORMON?!? Youkiddingme?"

          1. Negropolis

            Yeah, but the other guy is a Muslin/child of Satan/(fill in the blank) trying to force bishops to perform abortions on the church altar.

            Seriously, though, I think Catholics have been pretty swing.

          2. Lascauxcaveman

            Naw, Catholics don't see Obama the way the fundie 'tards do. Too many of them went to good Catholic schools to be that ignorant.

            Again, I'm speaking anecdotally, from personal experience, having been born and raised in the Roman Church, etc. For instance, I was heartened to see a significant backlash against the attempted Kerry-smearing efforts that went on in my parish in 2004. And when some zealot parishoner made his little idiotic 'baby graveyard' with all the dozens of tiny white crosses on the church lawn, I didn't see anybody lining up to replace them when local kids vandalized it.

            So I guess I'm saying, yeah, they're pretty swing. Like regular folks.

      1. Generation[redacted]

        Look, when I wrote my op-ed, "Let the dishes sit in the sink" I described exactly how dishes need to be placed in the sink before they can be cleaned. They eventually followed my advice, so yeah I'll take a lot of credit for that.

      1. LibertyLover

        And create 12 million new jobs that we are already on the road to creating without them. And to take credit for the repeal of the Bush tax cuts.

        1. sewollef

          You forgot the credit they are already taking for killing ObL….

          OT: I'm back. I've been away — in California [for work] and Texas [for play]. But now I'm back, and boy, isn't it grand to see the old place again.

  2. SorosBot

    Aw, how cute, the Republicans think they can fool the electorate into thinking they care about poor people!

    1. miss_grundy

      It's working for a couple of crackers on 8 Mile and Merriman Rd. who look a lot like forty-seven percenters. The dopes had a RomneyRyan banner with an American flag and were waving at drivers. I know, I know, this is Michigan…..Sometimes, I truly, truly, despair of the citizens of this state. I don't understand why anyone would support people who hate you….

      1. SorosBot

        I saw a Romney/Ryan banner last week, in San Francisco. Let me tell you, I was shocked; but the wingnut stench is everywhere, even where you'd least expect it.

          1. MosesInvests

            Here in the People's Republic of Austin, we've got at least 2 guys who ride bicycles wearing thongs-and I don't mean zori.

          2. SorosBot

            Ouch again. Speedo man was, shall we say, interesting. He also had to be at least 60. And the funny thing was MissT was telling me about him just a few minutes before he ran past us; he does that regularly.

            Really, some people need a sense of shame.

          3. BerkeleyBear

            Oh, in the Bay Area it can get much, much worse. When I was in college, there was a dude in his 60s who liked to jog around the sororities wearing nothing but socks, shoes and a shit-eating grin.

            It (and the nude-in protests that year in response to campus enforcing a public indecency law against the Naked Guy (long story)) proved the axiom that the people who want to get naked are almost never the people you want to see naked.

          4. SorosBot

            The 925? I'm still not down with the West Coast lingo and can't figure out what this refers to, even though I'll be living there in just two weeks.

          5. SorosBot

            Oh I hate it too; the moving is a huge pain in the ass, but being 2,800 miles away from the woman I love is even more of one, thus the move.

          6. MissTaken

            Area code. But since I'm a lame-o I still have my old 916 so you didn't recognize it.

            Sactown! More than just a cowtown between SF and Tahoe, it's also the Capitol!

          7. Biff

            It was originally a party line on the Elmwood exchange. Over time it went from Elmwood9 to EL9 to 359 to 415-359-XXXX. Now I have to cheat to remember where the letters are on an alpha-numeric “dial”.

          8. glasspusher

            Oh yeah- saw one in nearby Lafayette as well. The best is the dickhead tea party sign heading south down 680 from Walnut Creek

        1. DemmeFatale

          I can'r believe I actually saw posters of Obama as Hitler in Union Square in SF!
          But it really only takes one crazy Bircher dude!
          (I hope he was shanked, with votes.)

          1. HogeyeGrex

            Actually, I think those are the LaRouche-bags. I see them around various spots now and then. Certainly startles.

      2. Lascauxcaveman

        In my little town, riding around on my lunchtime bike rides reminds me (every four years) which neighborhoods all the old white people live in.

      3. Negropolis

        I'm embarrassed to say that I didn't even know Merriman went that far north. lol Is this Livonia or Farmington Hills?

        1. PuckStopsHere

          It depends on which side of 8 mile they occupy. The west side would be Livonia, the east side would be Farmington. Not Farmington Hills, Farmington. Dammit.

      4. PuckStopsHere

        Hey there, miss_gundy. I've driven past those sad people myself. You'd think they'd picker a higher profile intersection, but intelligence does not appear to be a strong suit in the instant case.

    1. zumpie

      And shirking actual, you know, work in the process. Like he did for the 6 terms he's served those poor dumbs in his district

    2. YouBetcha

      Hey now, he ran a 3:42 marathon right before climbing the highest peak of the Himalayas to wash an entire soup kitchen's worth of dishes. How dare you question his integrity. How dare you, sir.

  3. Callyson

    Chris Maloney, Ohio communications director for the Romney campaign, said that the visit by Ryan had been intended to highlight the work of the soup kitchen volunteers.
    “Our campaign and Congressman Ryan were pleased to bring attention to the meaningful charitable contributions the St. Vincent De Paul Society makes to people in need,” Maloney said.

    But *we're* not about to make any meaningful charitable contributions to the Society–what are you, some kind of freeloader? Get a job, bum!

    1. zumpie

      Princess Liza looks like she's explaining to that one boy-spawn "this is what the maid does, I read it in a book once"

    2. fatbob54

      What he's really doing is teaching his kids it's ok to lie and it's better to look good than to do good

    1. Negropolis

      Mitt's the guy when your group leaves a tip is the last one to get up from the table to put his coat on and one of your colleagues catches him pocketing a quarter-to-half the tip. I have a relative who does that, and who'll even admonish you from leaving what they believe to be too big a tip. Dick.

  4. CthuNHu

    Wow — a Republican uses poor people as a prop AND a man avoids doing dishes! All in the same day!

    What could happen next?

    1. zumpie

      We learn Mitty illegally shuffled some bucks around while he was gov??? Oh, yeah, right. We learn Abraham Lincoln is dead.

    2. Francis Urquhart

      What could happen next? Perhaps landing on an aircraft carrier in a fighter jet and proclaiming "Mission Accomplished".

  5. LastGasp

    He's acting out Grover Norquist's old fantasy of dragging government to the bathtub (or in this case, an industrial sink) and drowning it. With the help of his kids

  6. vulpes82

    That little girl (Bean?) is the one who's going to follow Daddy into politics. She's making such an effort to appear to be having a grand time washing that dish! She'll be Mean Girl Student Council President in no time.

  7. Antispandex

    Wow, Ryan, dude, you can't even get your own church type of people to go along with a fake photo op? That would so totally never happen in Utah! You've got to be better at pandering than that, if you want to make it in national politics! Pick your target better next time!

  8. SorosBot

    Paul is just working out his depression from Atlas Shrugged Part 2 following Part 1 into box office failuredom.

      1. SorosBot

        Well I think, like with the first, the Objectivist true believers are already calling the horrible reviews a liberal plot. But hey, it turn out a shitty story no one wants to see is still a shitty story no one wants to see, even with an all-new director and cast.

        The best part? It made about the same amount of money as part 1, despite opening in nearly three times as many theaters.

    1. Stevola

      It'll be fun to watch all three parts (you know they have to do Part III) and try to figure out who the characters are. Cos of the completely different casts.

      Nah, that won't be fun at all.

  9. gullywompr

    Did you know that Republicans are a brazillion times more charitable than anybody else? It's true! Just ask one of them.

    1. kittensdontlie

      And the man who had dirty pots has been crying ever since last Thursday, when he met a man that took no prisoners.

  10. Beowoof

    Why do I think this is the first time little Pauly has recognized that there are poor people who need help and he didn't say, "Are there no work houses, are there no prisons?"

  11. SayItWithWookies

    Not only did Paul Ryan wash imaginary dishes, he then had a tea party with the bunny, the one-eyed teddy bear and the stuffed giraffe. The poor people weren't invited because they would just get dirt all over the caviar.

  12. memzilla

    When will Paul "Eddie Munster" Ryan stop forcing himself down the throats of the American people?

    [Eeep. I have disgusted myself with a mental picture from reading my own sentence.)

  13. CrunchyKnee

    The look on the woman's face in the pic is priceless. "Now, children, watch out for the crazy man."

  14. coolhandnuke

    Give a man an SOS pad and he'll pose for the cameras all day. Teach a man how to scrub out the poors and he won't starve for his entire life.

  15. Wilcoxyz

    Their tax plan is designed to give money to people who already have it, so why not wash a pan that's already clean?

    1. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      While saying "MMmmm soo good!" And then dump the leftovers into the garbage disposal (or, more likely, have the plate taken away for them).

  16. T3rbo

    It's all code: Ryan/Romney want to replace wasteful government social programs with more efficient (and poorly funded) faith based programs. This photo op that failed was a part of this messaging, something like "The food in here is so much better than what SNAP benefits can provide. Why, look at how many people line up every night!"
    http://thinkprogress.org/election/2012/08/31/7846

  17. Typodong3

    I want him to fake-wash MY dishes. Cept, it wouldnt be fake, cause Id chain him to the sink and make him wash every damn one of the dishes, by hand, with no soap or washcloth.

  18. T3rbo

    Oh I totally misunderstood. This photo was taken immediately after a strategy session with top GOP leaders meant to discuss which tax loopholes the Ryan/Romney budget would close. After the meeting, which totally happened, Ryan flew to the soup kitchen in Wonder Woman's invisible plane and then washed some dishes, no big deal.

    1. rewinn

      Ryan appropriated the site (not his), grabbed a pan (not his), used up soap (not his) and water (not his) all without the permission of the owner. He's a commie!!!!!

  19. T3rbo

    Oh my god, the comments on the WaPo site are fucking PRICELESS.

    "I wonder if Paul Ryan and Kim Jung Il ran a marathon who would have the better time? I imagine that Kim would pull the whole "I won before you started" routine but I wouldn't count out Ryan on account of his craftiness and P90X!!!!!!"

  20. Schmannnity

    Wearing an apron. Sexual identity????? Paul Ryan's children (the beans) have two mommies???????

  21. rickmaci

    You know who else used the rural poor and needy in his country as props for a nationalist right wing agenda?

  22. Not_So_Much

    I think we maybe we're being too hard on him. Maybe he just really, really believes that nothing is truly clean unless it's scrubbed by a P90-X man?

  23. BlueStateLibel

    The part they didn't show: Willard stomps in and tells Paul he's just been fired, for the laughs.

      1. MLHencken

        Thanks, Gents. If you are so inclined, I suggest you support your local Episcopal Church. That's where we do our soup kitchen. Not all Chistianists are wingnuts.

  24. finallyhappy

    hey, we were actually working at a shelter last night- cooked chicken and served dinner and where the hell was Ryan to help us???? Wonder if he has actually ever worked in a kitchen or a shelter- that little lying shit?

    1. shelwood46

      In my experience, this is not an unusual way for rich people to "do" volunteer work, swanning in after the work is finished, making patronizing comments, taking credit.

  25. mrblifil

    "Clean" is a misnomer. Just because all the food has been rinsed off and the residual oils broken down with soap products, the cleanliness dilemma does not end there. There is still always a chance that a person of color may have come into contact with the kitchenware at some point between removal of food (perhaps even during!) and shelf storage, so he was taking only the most basic precautions to ensure that by risking handling of the plates and flatware, variegation among the races shall not be compromised.

    1. Schmannnity

      Even if he loses both VP and US Representative elections, i hate to inform you that he will be a hedge fund Sr. VP or a Think Tank fellow at $500,000.00 + per year.

  26. VeraSevera

    Glad to see at least one group has taken up Newt's plan to have the poor youngins' doing janitor work for their character-building although it would have been more inspiring if Little Paul and friends were scrubbing the terlits.

  27. owhatever

    So I was thinking while washing that pan, what if we just scrub out the people who come to these places for free food? And charge their families for the bullets? Nobody would really miss them, since they won't take responsibility for their own lives. We could save a tidy sum by not having to give them food, shelter or tax breaks. That's what I thought.

  28. YouBetcha

    This is my favorite news story of the week. Maybe of the month.

    Plus, no time to take off his watch? "This is a Roche Vouceau. The finest water-resistant watch in the world. Singularly unique, sculptured in design, hand-crafted in Switzerland and water resistant to three atmospheres. This is THE sports watch of the '80s. Six thousand, nine hundred and fifty five dollars retail!"

    1. HogeyeGrex

      No need to take off the watch. You don't think he bothered to turn on the water, do you?

      Also, what the fuck did they say to those kids? "Hey kids! If you stare into the pans long enough, a unicorn will pop out and gore your dad!"?

    1. Geminisunmars

      Eeeewwww. You actually expect him to touch some slime encrusted plate that has been handled by who-knows-who?

      1. kittensdontlie

        The plate responds: Eeeewww. You want you-know-who with the slime encrusted-hands to handle me?

  29. coolhandnuke

    "You won't have Ryan to kick around anymore, because, gentlemen, this is my last dishwashing photo op."

  30. Doktor Zoom

    Joe Biden might do something like this, only he'd show up, put on an apron, fire up the grill, stick his head out the front door and yell "Seconds for everybody! Who wants scrapple?"

    EDIT: Of course, he would probably yell that regardless of whether there was, in fact, any scrapple to be had.

  31. JustPixelz

    Just another day in the soylent green kitchen. ("Soylent green is corporations!")

    It's like Watergate … but with real water.

    If his muscles can't handle dirty pots, I'm quitting that XP90Z workout.

  32. ManchuCandidate

    Which one of these things is not like the others?
    1) Soup kitchen helping the poor.
    2) Water from municipal services paid for by local taxes
    3) VP candidate and noted Ayn Rand masturbator Paul Lyin' Ryan

    1. NellCote71

      1. Water quality regulated by the government.
      2. Safe food standards set by the government.
      3. Ibid.

    1. glasspusher

      Why, I remember when the least little thing would just put you to sleep!

      Well played, sgt Scphincter!

  33. viachicago

    Thank you Paul Ryan once again you have underestimated the intelligence level of your fellow Americans. These recent photo ops have gone from ridiculous to insulting.

  34. Dashboard Buddha

    The perfect children: Look mama…Rosalita never gets our pans this clean.

    Perfect wife: I know children…this just proves daddy right when he says that people do a better job when they're not being paid.

    1. An_Outhouse

      Its true. Give rich people more money and they create jobs. Give poor people money and they just sit around drinking 40 all day.

  35. fuflans

    hey, OT, but before tomorrow night's clusterfuck what are the commenting rules? i think i was moderated for saying 'romney' (the sin that dare not speak its name).

    that would be quite a handicap during the debate…

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Actually, I'm pretty sure it's just IntenseReprobate being generally BAD. I know Rebecca's been trying to get hold of support. Hold on tight–it's going to be a bumpy ride.

  36. shelwood46

    Someone who lives in the area pointed out that Ryan had to drive past at least a couple of homeless shelters in predominately minority areas to get to the one in white, suburban Canfield. Likely, this is because it was the only one he could get permission to enter (from someone not authorized to give permission), but it's not the best, as they say, optics.

    I also like the part of the story where they let photographers take pictures of Ryan talking to "apparently" homeless people outside, but were adamant that all the reporters get on the bus out of earshot.

  37. Schmegeg

    He also brings attention to the delicious soup you can get for free if you are dying from starvation and can't otherwise afford to eat, get to the emergency room, or otherwise get on with it.

  38. An_Outhouse

    Caption contest: "You see that – that's a poor person, right there. On the edge of the pan. Oh never mind, that's just dirt."

  39. rickmaci

    Give a man a free meal of soup and he will eat it up. Give a man a free meal of nothing and he will drink the dishwater, or something like that.

  40. VespulaMaculata

    File it with Romney pretending he knows to operate a clothes washer and McCain shopping for applesauce.

  41. poorgradstudent

    I've refused to even run for president of my twenty-person grad student association and even I have enough political savvy to know that you shouldn't try to stage a photo op with a group that obviously hates you.

      1. Doktor Zoom

        I abhor the SATs. But they pay pretty well.

        I was only following the scoring rubric!

        (It's gonna turn out that look was about Ben Folds, isn't it?)

        1. BadKitty904

          Oh, no. That was just such an esoterically OT combo, is all.

          Kinda like me saying "parachuting from a flaming dirigible whilst ingesting 'shrooms is an interesting combination"…

          1. Doktor Zoom

            That's a remarkably apt description of how my brain feels while scoring the SAT essays online. Read one earlier tonight that said this:

            "Why did America interfere and drop the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki? We had many alliances, and even though the Jews in America were not in any danger, we had to act to save the lives of the Jews in World War II."

            A got yer "Sound of the Life of the Mind" right here, kid…

            (Then again, I also just read a pretty smart essay about global economic interdependence that got a high score.)

          2. BadKitty904

            Hmmm. I should get you to grade my test answers. You sound much more "balanced" in your scoring than many of my professors, who seem to base theirs on their mood, at the moment, or the phase o' the moon, or some damn thing …

          3. glasspusher

            I am quite glad I took the SATs before this essay stuff came up. I had my own rationales with the verbal that cost me, although I got a 590. Did much better on the math where there was less room for subjectivity. Glad it's paying you well. Grading summer school organic chem tests in grad school kept me afloat…long ago.

          4. Doktor Zoom

            Sara well, she just can't bear
            The stupidity, the boredom, the grind
            She stays at school so that she can hear
            The sound of the life of the mind
            .
            And it's noisy up there
            It rocks me like a mother…

            (True fact: "Sara" is in fact Nerd Goddess Sara Vowell, according to Nick Hornby, who wrote the lyrics.)

          5. glasspusher

            We would make a great team, or not. I love reading and writing, but I'm a scientist, and I had steady disagreements with the literature crowd in high school. I think we're ok now…

          6. viennawoods13

            I'm in the middle of a batch of Jane Eyre essays. One young man told me that Rochester "couldn't believe his eyes" when Jane came back to him at the end of the novel and "he was so glad to see her." Bonus marks to anyone who figures out what is wrong with that.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      Ha! My kid took the SAT a couple weeks ago; you're probably reading her essay right now. If you run across one with an absurdly extensive yet precise vocabulary, that's probably hers.

      No lie, she's been having her teachers reaching for the dictionary since preschool.

      1. Doktor Zoom

        You bet! She wrote so well. I was impressed. I'm just glad she's not the one who wrote "During World War II, America declared war with Vietnam…"

        1. LibertyLover

          That Poor thing…

          No, as much as my daughter rails against my liberal bias, at least she knows her history better than that! (At least I hope so!)

  42. malsperanza

    Hey, hold on, folks! Everyone knows the Ryans have been bringing their kids to do volunteer work at homeless shelters and soup kitchens since way back. Teaching them the value of service, kindness to others, and empathy for the unfortunate. See–here are a bunch of photos of them doing that every year since … oh, wait …

    2009: http://www.celebitchy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009

    2010: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a

    2011: http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2011/09/obama-let

    …nevermind, that was those other guys. Who are they again?

  43. cheetojeebus

    What next? Christ, tone fucking deaf….How long before we see his Beach Workout Tape? in a Speedo…with a Shake Weight….On Betamax?

  44. spareme

    So he washes a couple of clean pots, and his family dries them – so what? Do that for hours on end, with your back cramping, your feet hurting, you can't stand up straight for an hour. You go home smelling like shit. Fuck a single turn of your sleeve – you are stripped down to your tee shirt, sweating through it. After you are done with the dishes, you have the rest of the kitchen to break down.

    Ryan – you are a pussy, get out of the industrial kitchens – you are not fooling me. Or anyone one else.

  45. spareme

    So he washes a couple of clean pots, and his family dries them – so what? Do that for hours on end, with your back cramping, your feet hurting, you can't stand up straight for an hour. You go home smelling like shit. Fuck a single turn of your sleeve – you are stripped down to your tee shirt, sweating through it. After you are done with the dishes, you have the rest of the kitchen to break down.

    1. spareme

      So tell me where any hard work was in this…I wish we could tape him changing a tire, working in a coal mine, sweeping a fucking floor. What a jerk.

  46. BadKitty904

    Hmmm. SOME lil' Wonklings (or whatever y'all go by) are still awake.

    Pity this place closes down at night – my bf's gone to sleep and I'd sure rather talk with y'all than fool with this homework… :0/

      1. emmelemm

        Is that your actual Big Cat in your avatar?

        My mom has two little cats and one big cat, and I usually just call him "The Big One".

        1. BadKitty904

          lol We actually do have two cats. The cat in my avatar is just a 'Net pic that makes me laff – that's the grumpiest kitty I've ever seen. If we could make these pics bigger, you'd laff , too.

          But, since I chose BadKitty for my nick, the "Big Cat" is my bf, as I'm kinda vertically challenged (i.e., a runt) and he's 6'1".

        2. BadKitty904

          PS – Your avatar makes me smile every time I see it, as does Weejee's. I'm sure it's lame to admit it publicly, but I think piglets are kinda adorable.

          1. emmelemm

            Old thread! Just wanted to say, piglets are adorable. Have you seen HRHMaddie? (She doesn't post that much.) She has a little piglet in red galoshes. It's simply the best.

  47. mosjef

    Just for the record, he also wears a button down shirt and an apron when he pretends to ramrod his wife.

  48. Jukesgrrl

    OT: I voted today, friends. O happy day.

    Ballots came in the mail Saturday, we marked them Sunday (took forever between the propositions, the judge retentions, and electing a board for our fire district … important in AZ). Then I hand-carried the ballots to the post office today and posted them inside for safety.

    I also saw a second poll today (Rocky Mountain English/Spanish likely voters poll) showing:
    Barack Obama 44% Mitt Romney 42% Gary Johnson 3% Jill Stein 1%

    Love you, Gary Johnson.

    1. bobbert

      Weird thing — I got my actual vote-by-mail ballot today, but I've haven't yet received my sample ballot and assorted supporting documents. That's never happened to me before.

      It only matters because I need to make sure I understand the fucking propositions. I live in a pinkish enclave within a pretty red district in California, so my votes for President and Senator are unnecessary, and my votes for Congress and state legislators are irrelevant. But that's life in a democratic republic.

    2. Negropolis

      There is no kind of early voting here in Michigan, but I was able to get my grandparent's absentees in, today. Straight-ticket Democrat. Can't take any chances this time around.

      1. Jukesgrrl

        I wish we had straight ticket in Arizona. Took me forever to fill out that ballot. No wonder some people who vote in a booth have to wait in line for 10 hours. We didn't have initiatives in Pennsylvania. That's what we paid a state legislature for. Here in Arizona, we have the usual run amok GOTP legislature + every Tom, Dick, and Harry nutball gets to put an initiative on the ballot. Turns out I vote NO on 80% of them.

        1. Negropolis

          We have five state initiatives and one referendum on the ballot (and two local initiatives), and a whole slew of judges where I live on top of three Supreme Court seats and county seats and whatever in the fuck else. The ballot is crazy. Needless to say I was happy for the straight-ticket option, this year.

        2. emmelemm

          See also: Washington state, where there are eleventy million initiatives and referendums on every ballot.

        3. BoroPrimorac

          We've got seven tax related ballot initiatives on the Florida ballot. One of them is a prop 13 style amendment that will fuck up Florida like it did California. We also have a tax money for religious organizations bill that will totally pass. The two thousand and ten mid term elections will be kicking us in the ass for a few decades.

    3. viennawoods13

      I have got to say that in Canada we have it much easier in federal and provincial elections. The paper ballot has the names of the 5 or 6 people running to fill that seat. You put an X in the circle next to the name of the person you want. You fold up the ballot. And that is it.

  49. Toomush_Infer

    Yeah, but what happened to that little kid that kept tugging on his apron strings and saying, "More, please." ….?

  50. Negropolis

    And yet these fuckers are still running neck and neck with the president in the polls. Disgusting. I have no snark for this at this exact moment, but it'll arrive before long.

    1. mille derps

      “Just the place for a Snark!” the Bellman cried,
       As he landed his crew with care;
      Supporting each man on the top of the tide
       By a finger entwined in his hair…"

    2. Negropolis

      I'm honestly wondering what it takes to turn-off a so-called undecided voter if you're a Republican candidate? I mean, I thought the 47% comment should have been the nail in the coffin, but, apparently, we haven't yet found out what it takes to outweigh the president's blackness and so-believed liberality.

      I mean, does Romney-Ryan have to hit a disabled soldier with his car killing them to make them flinch? I mean, what do they have to do?

  51. Negropolis

    Okay, is it possible that this guy is even more craven and dishonest and fake than Sarah Palin?

    Ryan after taking the photo: "Now watch this drive…"

    1. bobbert

      IMO, no. Palin is pretty much the platinum standard of cravenness, dishonesty, and whatever the noun form of "fake" is.

      I actually think Ryan is kind of sincere, which makes him terrifying, like Reagan. He's so sincere that he doesn't even perceive his lies as being lies.

      Now, in terms of lies per minute (LPM), I think I'd give him the edge over Palin. But she *knows* she's bilking the rubes; he thinks he's the fucking Messiah.

      1. Negropolis

        I'm honestly not sure. I can imagine Sarah doing a lot. I can't imagine her going to a soup kitchen and setting up a shot with clean dishes. No way. I mean, between this and the marathon lie and all the others, I get the sense he knows exactly what he is doing and doesn't care if he gets caught. Ryan definitely shares this utter carelessness with his new boss.

  52. MistaEko

    When I washed the poors' already-done dishes, they called me an opportunist.

    When I asked why we couldn't eliminate this operation's tax deductions, they called me an asshole.

  53. Jukesgrrl

    The story covering this in the Youngstown (scene of the crime) Vindicator is priceless. My favorite quote is from the women who let the visitors in, then lived to regret it:

    "The event 'was a photo op,' she [dining hall coordinator Juanita Sherba] said. 'It was the phoniest piece of baloney I’ve ever been associated with. In hindsight, I would have never let him in the door … I didn’t know it was my place to say no,’ she said. 'I made a mistake.'

    Phoniest piece of boloney? Is that like malarkey?

    The director of the charity that runs the kitchen and the nearby food pantry said the society received $12,000 in federal money this year and raised about $175,000 to $200,000 in private donations for the kitchen, as well as $3,200 in federal aid this year and $75,000 in private donations for the food pantry.

    The Vindicator article continued in its interview with the Society director, "'It’s not a Democrat or Republican issue. It’s a faith-based organization, and we’re not here to get someone elected.' … But he did specifically criticize Ryan for wanting to eliminate the small amount of federal money the society gets for the dining hall. "'That is a little two-faced to say the least,' he said."
    http://www.vindy.com/news/2012/oct/16/soup-kitche

    1. mille derps

      Interesting parallel with the volunteer guard at the synagogue who regretted inviting the police over…

    2. bobbert

      As a Norwegian-German hybrid, when I heard OHJ say "malarkey", I knew that if it had been me, I would have said "baloney". I think "malarkey" resonates much better, but having zero Irish molecules in my DNA, it just wouldn't emerge naturally.

    3. bobbert

      Also, too, I note in the article that it may have been the case that the pots Paulie washed were, in fact, not yet washed, because the campaign asked that a few pots be kept back so he could wash them. Now that really captures volunteer work — making the actual volunteers wait around until you show up to wash a couple pots.

    4. Negropolis

      Can I just say that "Vindicator" is the most bad-ass name I've ever heard for a daily, and so incredibly appropriate given this particular story?

  54. imissopus

    See, eliminate the tiny amounts of federal funding going to soup kitchens like this one in order to balance the budget, and wealthy suburbanites will step in to help out! It's Ron Paul's fantasy come to life.

  55. Sassomatic

    Are there any photos of the soup kitchen volunteers my attention is to be drawn to? Good, because I assume of the peasantry, and unfit for the visual consuming of my delicate eyes.

  56. jamsie25

    Paul Ryan must be a wizard. He's the only man in the universe who could stand over a steaming sink of 'dirty dishes', using those fabulous muscles to scrub off all the slop from poor people and his shirt is crisper and cleaner then when he took it out of the box. Simply amazing.

  57. decentcitizen

    So this is the new strategy? Insinuate yourself into a social welfare program and maybe people won't notice you intend to eliminate social welfare programs.

  58. Jerri

    I always keep my watch and wedding ring on when I scrub out giant dirty pots in a sink full of soapy hot water. Keeps 'em looking good and working properly, I find.

  59. ttommyunger

    Gosh, a Congressman volunteering to wash dishes in a soup kitchen! I am so impressed! I will definitely be voting for this wonderful man for any office he decides to run for. I also needz haz some new foil for my hat, which is become greasy and smelly…Thank You.

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