Well now we have TWO Sadz! First we watched the Span’s rerun of the Gore-Bush debate where Jorge Boosh said things like “an elderly,” and now we have read this Daily Caller piece about a seemingly sort of disassociative old man who is running for Congress (as a Republican) in Michigan, and who may kind of think he is Santy Claus. Now, why Daily Caller is going after a Republican is beyond us (sloooow news day?), but they not only point out old St. Nick’s possible need for therapy, but also his bankruptcy and how some lady follows him around calling him a crook. MEAN LADY, LEAVE SANTA ALOOOOONE.
In 1992, Bentivolio, out of cash and unable to pay his debts, filed for bankruptcy. Several years later, a creditor who was never paid as a result of the bankruptcy filing, saw Bentivolio in the newspaper: he had written a letter to the White House and secured an invite to head to Washington, DC and play Santa.
She confronted him at an Old Fashion Santa event, and, according to the court documents, accused him of being a “criminal,” and also called at least one possible client of Bentivolio’s and called him a “fraud and a cheat,” according to the court opinion.
During his testimony before the court, Bentivolio referred to himself as “we,” something noted in the court opinion, along with the fact that “he was reluctant when asked to refer to himself as ‘I.’”
Fuck that lady! As we learned on Reddit today, “Thats libel. Even if it was true, its still libel.”
Sure why not!
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Who you kiddin'? Everybody knows there's no Sanity Clause in Congress!
Only Scrooge McDuck
"SANTA" an anagram for…SATAN!
And SATANS is an anagram for TAN ASS!
John Boehner is Satan?
The tiered logic at teh Wonkette is just impeccable.
To be fair, I had a bit of an advantage on this one. John Boehner has been my representative for almost my entire life… All but a few weeks.
Not that there's any kind of order to it.
Makes perfect sense to me.
Yes, it does.
To the Beckian chalkboards!
We'll know he's senile if he sells arms to Iran so he can finance the Contras.
He may have been a sadistic, corrupt dictator but Saddam Hussein had great taste in hats, didn't he?
I thought it was marmalades.
Especially that hipster hat he wore to the Baghdad Starbucks.
During the line of questioning about why Bentivolio referred to himself as “we,” he noted: “Maybe I should have went to see a shrink.”
Shrink? Hell, you should have gone to see an agent to snare a Comedy Central audition…
The real Santa Claus is Sheldon Adelson. Or David Koch. I forget which.
yeah i bet the koch brothers give dandy christmas presents.
Right before they dick you up the ass
Well, little Susan Walker believe in him, so just shut up.
I bet they'll be saying the liberals planted him to make them look bad on Fox News tomorrow.
During his testimony before the court, Bentivolio referred to himself as “we,” something noted in the court opinion, along with the fact that “he was reluctant when asked to refer to himself as ‘I.’”
We don't have a problem with this.
He's channeling his inner Palin
At least it's not the ol' Bob Dole third person routine.
I don't get it. Is that Biden or something?
She confronted him at an Old Fashion Santa event, and, according to the court documents, accused him of being a “criminal,” and also called at least one possible client of Bentivolio’s and called him a “fraud and a cheat,”
Sounds like someone just earned herself a spot on the Naughty List.
Yay, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians!
Also, fuck Reddit.
Not for nuthin' but Mike and the Bots (aka the Rifftrax guys) are doing a live via satellite movie theater thingy a week from Thursday. They're smacking down "Birdemic."
Sounds interesting … how does it end, I wonder?
Santa goes back to Earth after nominating the laziest man on Mars as his replacement. Trufax.
Santa needed a replacement? On Mars? This is starting to sound like, I dunno, maybe one of those demented, so-bad-it's-good 1960's sci-fi flicks. Cult status cannot be far off.
DROPPO, YOU'RE THE LAZIEST MAN ON MARS.
Drop 'em, Droppo!
The difference between Bentivolio most Republicans is he only spends one night a year staring at ungulate hindquarters.
oh deer.
I'm lookin' at you, Levi.
War on Christmas!!!!!1!!
According to Wikipedia, this appears to be a reliably Republican district:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michigan's_11th…
Let the lulz begin!
Well, reliable once the Republican gets in since both the old and new district have a slight Republican advantage. But, this isn't a solid-red district. In fact, it's been labeled a toss-up, this year, one of the few true toss-ups in the country, in fact.
Ah…In that case, while my sick perverted twisted sense of humor would love to see this joker make it to Congress, the decent civilized “FFS we have to get the House back” side of me will have to root for his opponent. Knowing the wingnuts, they'll find some other way of making the news and making me laugh…
Well, the other guy is a Muslim doctor from India, so their will be entertainment value, alone, in how some of the tea party congressman react to him. lol Poor Dr. Taj.
It's one of the best MST3K episodes ever! (Though Manos does top it).
I dunno…Robot Holocaust was one of the best
"YesssssssssssssssssTark One…."
Dude, c'mon. You think it tops "The Day the Earth Froze"?!? What with the sampo and all?
KALEVALA LIBEL!
(I'm a Finn. It's in our contract)
I'm a part-Finn too! Kalevala forever.
Absolutely the best.
One night when the electricity went out, my son and I performed it for mom with candle shadow puppets.
Where is the multi-colored dome?!!
Manos was brutal, even for MST3K. Personally, I always go back to Final Sacrifice when I need my fix.
Rowsdower!
It's true, Manos was so boring and awful even the MST3K version can be hard to watch at points. Actually I think my favorite early episode is Pod People, and Hobgoblins my favorite Sci Fi-era episode. But Manos is definitely the worst movie they ever did.
Thanks to MST3K, no one is so optimistic as to still think that Plan 9 From Outer Space is the worst movie ever made.
Yeah; I've seen it, and while bad many of the MST3K movies were definitely worse. And one of these days I'm going to make myself watch The Room to see if it really is as bad as its' reputation.
Oh, I don't know….Plan 9 was missing many things the other films had: plot, continuity, sets…props.
Any movie with Tor "Super Swedish Angel" Johnson in it is OK by me.
I saw Frogs once while drunk at a friend's house. It is horrible and begging for relatively recent MST3K treatment. I highly recommend it!
Plan 9 isn't even the worst Ed Wood movie. I vote Glenn or Glenda.
Trumpy no!
God that song still sticks in my head.
"Sack of monkeys in my pocket"
Idiot control now!
Are you wearing your "I'm a virgin" shirt?
And yay, the Pod People episode is on Youtube in its entirety!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPFOhUvXZx8
As is Santa Clause Conquers the Martians:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lqe7dlAXTkc
Manos was sooooooo bad, but the Torgo's Pizza sketch at the end is classic.
Almost as good as Giant Spider Invasion.
It's one of our Christmas traditions!
"I'm cold" ("and unfeeling")
("Gentlemen, we must be reasonable. We can't all be the Honey Nut Cheerios bee.")
Didn't they do Night of the Lepus?
I prefer "Santa Claus" the one from Mexico featuring Satan and a cute little Lupita longing for "a dolly, ANY dolly"..
Also, too: "Zombie Nightmare" and that one with the horse faced girl singing about "shining her love" to Arthur Goidfrey so she could save kids from drugs or something
I guess this must mean that the Daily Caller is down with the War on Xmas.
You'd think Republicans would hate Santa because he gives so many handouts.
But R-Santa takes your things, files bankruptcy,…leaving you with a lump of coal.
There really is a Santa Claus. Been around since like the 1500's, but he wasn't always called Santa… but you know, Christmas night, flying, coming down the chimney, all true. Well he doesn't traditionally bring presents so much as you know, disembowel children, but otherwise…
He's got live reindeer and an AOL account. http://www.oldfashionsanta.org/
Wow. That's…unusual.
"Owner Kerry Bentivolio scratches reindeer ear on a warm spring day."
While presumably, based on that pic, nekkid?
Why is his suit green?
He's anti-commercial according to the Daily Caller. Yes, I clicked the clicky.
He dresses up as Santa – in green, because a red suit would be too “commercial”—and his sled is pulled by live reindeer.
"too commercial"
Fucking hipster.
The fuck…?
SorosBot, you're really gettin' me in the mood for a Happy 'effin' Holiday!! Luvs me some traditional traditions.
BTW – Ladies and Germs – Don't forget to take a look at your bucket list and do at least one thing on it between now and 12/21/12 (my bd) if possible. That's when the Mayan calendar ends and the world as we know it may never be the same. Why, we might end the day as a puff of smoke (or maybe with one).
This is news, a Republican with a ruse to get young boys to sit on his lap.
Pia Zadora was in that movie, so I was unable to pay attention to anything else this post might be about.
And an adorable little moppet she was, too. Annoying…but adorable.
As a true republican, he’s only in politics for the elves.
Christmas will be cancelled if this guy wins.
Fuck Santa. If those kids really want an xbox they should build it themselves.
Or work as junior janitors to appreciate these things.Stupid, lazy moochers!
Unless they're born to rich parents, at which point they're already our betters and we should get used to bowing down.
Said Bentivolio, "Fuck this shit — we'll have to cancel Christmas."
We'll do it live!
♫ We're making a list
We're checking it twice
Gonna find out who's
Naughty or nice
Santa Claus, who's me
We're coming
To town ♫
Whaddaya mean there's no Santy Claus? Then who the hell is always breaking into my house every Christmas eve night and goes through the liquor cabinet?
Santa is a liberal. The "naughty" list is a big lie. Nobody gets on it. You want conservative? Vote Krampus.
Jesus was a liberal fer Kreisssssake.
An old fat white man running as a Republican never in a million years.
Hmm…I wonder how long before "coming down the chimney" replaces "wide stance" in the closeted Republican lexicon?
He may think he's Santa, but the beard says al Queda.
From the Detroit Freep…it's getting even wilder.
Richard Starkey, …… served in the Guard with Bentivolio
http://www.freep.com/article/20121014/NEWS15/3101…
"I have a problem figuring out which one I really am, Santa Claus or Kerry Bentivolio," he said in his deposition. "All my life I have been told I'm Kerry Bentivolio, and now, I am a Santa Claus, so now I prefer to be Santa Claus."
Richard Starkey
Ringo?
This guy combines all my favorite things: Santa Claus, Congress, and schizophrenia.
I would like to respectfully request a total ban on Daily Caller linkys. I may never, ever get the smell of douche off my computer screen.
Prefer the real Sandy Claws – Dungeness. Just a little lemon and butter…
Soon, very soon!
But he was born in the North Pole! WND: Where's the birf cert?
His platform says: Gifts will be given at no charge. Sounds like socializm.
Santa Claus? Sounds kinda Messican.
The past Archbishop of Turkey is now running for Congress. Will his staff be made up of 6-8 black men?
I've been debating how to decorate my office for the holidays. Was torn between Die Hard and A Christmas Story. Now I know I will do crazy Congressman-wannabe wearing green Santa Claus outfit in bankruptcy court. It'll be as American as apple pie!
I told you, do Gremlins!
Last time I dealt with that motherfucker he broke into my house and left all sorts of shit lying around and I had to concoct a ridiculous story to keep my kids from going psycho with fear. Thanks for nothing douchebag!
Yeah, then this dumbass comes around just cold shakin' his jelly in the face of my be-kerchiefed old lady AFTER she had settled in for a long winter's nap.
there is no room for santa claus and his socialist wealth redistribution in mitt romeny's america.
We don't see anything wrong with this. But, then again, we think we are Burgermeister Meisterburger.
Christmas season fetishists are finding this story hard to masturbate to.
(Don't look at me. If you could measure my worth's weight in contempt for the season I'd be a rich, morbidly obese hag.)
The Daily Caller is going after Santa Claus? Did they demand to see his birth certificate? Have they outed him as Kenyan? We all knew he is a Socialist, but have they been reshowing clips of Santa Claus is Coming to Town to show him passing out gifts for free, thereby destroying the Capitalist system?
He has elves building toys offshore for no pay, so it's all good
Things just haven't been the same since the unhappy ending to the strike by the Professional Elves Toy-making and Craft Organization …
To balance this story of a rethug running off the rails, how about an OT of one who got back on the track. Saint Ronald of Borax-o's budget guru David Stockman says "Bain Capital is a product of the Great Deformation" and that Willard is not, was not, a job creator, but just a greedy asshat.
Warning that the article is looooooooong and over at the Daily Beast. But if you have some time to kill before quitting time and yer boss is already drunk, then click the clickie.
Great link weejee! Also, too, I am heartened that most of the comments I'm seeing to online stories about Rmoney and Rayn are unfavorable. People are wary of the "trust me" shtick that those two greasy guys are trying to sell. Obama got us on the right track and if we can give him a sane Congress and SCOTUS, we'll all benefit; even the rich.
Santa Claus wears a red suit-he's a Communist.
Has a beard and long hair-must be a pacifist.
What's in that pipe he's smoking?
Reddit delenda est.
Tell me, is "Old Fashion Santa" another name for Fancy Santas? Because Fancy Santas are complete bullshit.
Joe – THANK YOU for that link!
Now I have that "Hooray for Santy Claus" song in my head. I return to Wonkette & this is what happens to my brain.
"Old Fashion Santa" is weirdly the thing that annoys me most about this whole shmeggege. "Old FashionED," numbskulls! Just like the drink, which I now need. It's always the "English-only" types who get this shit wrong, too. Morans.
So what was with the "we" business? Just regular delusional psychopathy, or "freeman on the land" magics?
Also, he may be a Republican, but his name still ends in a vowel, and Tucker C. can't be having any of that.
Oh, lordy! This is the doofus who is running for Thaddeus McCotter's seat in Congress! I've volunteered for the Democrat running for the seat, Dr. Syed Taj. So Reindeer Man (as I call him) has made it into Wonkette. Guys, seriously, this man is cuckoo for cocoa pops. But, according to the Detroit Free Press, he is the front-runner because he is running as a Republican, even though he is a tea-bagger and, perhaps, cuckoo. This just makes me sick!
If this guy wins, he will become my congressman. God, it's tough to live in this country sometimes.
As Chillbill said, ""SANTA" an anagram for…SATAN! "
Years ago, I tried to pick up some extra cash playing Santa one fine Christmas season. Long story short, the people I worked for were douchebags, so I changed the sign from Santa This Way to Satan This Way.
Good times…good times.
It's for this reason that Michigan may be getting an Indian Muslim with an accent in Congress, this year, god willing. Show a little luv to Doc Taj.
BTW, the establishment despises this guy in this moderate(ish) district, and it's believed that they've been leaking all of this to the media over the months since he got his party's nomination.
BTW x 2: This guy was a high school teacher who was written up so often for his behavior that it made news earlier in the campaign. This man is a hot, hot mess.
Santa Libel.
It has come to this. No person in the right mind wants anything to do with public service. It's now the sole province of lunatics and sociopaths.
Oh man, I loved Frogs! It was like a cross between "Dynasty," "Live and Let Die," and "Swamp People." With menacing amphibians, even.
Also not to be missed: Troll 2, the movie that is not actually a sequel to Troll, is not actually about trolls, and was written in English by its Italian director, who refused to listen to the American actors' suggestions to change lines so they sounded a little more like, you know, spoken English. A good double feature would be to pair it with Best Worst Movie, a documentary about the phenomenon of Troll 2 fandom.
Someone said that Troll 2 looked like a movie made by aliens who knew all the technical aspects of shooting and editing a movie, but had never actually seen human beings.
It's like the show Revenge but instead of ninja white girls, there's frogs!
Santa has only worn a red suit since a Coca-Cola ad about 100 years ago, so this crazy dude has got it right.
He has never denied it.
It stinks!
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