Skateboarding is not a crime, HENGHHH? Well, that is just obviously true. Except when 1500 rad dudes break a bunch of shops and do Ollies (?) up on people’s cars for the totally good reason that isn’t stupid at all of not getting into a sold-out movie. Sounds like 500 or so someones should maybe have been told “no” a few times when they were little groms! But how else could the skateboarders have made their displeasure known besides wilding like it is the ’80s at the Puerto Rico Day Parade?
- Smoked a joint, gone home, didn’t riot.
- Smoked a joint, went and got a pizza, didn’t riot.
- Smoked a joint, sat on the curb, called their mom to pick them up, didn’t riot.
- Smoked a joint, did anything besides riot.
- Hung out outside the 7-Eleven and asked grown-ups to buy them beer. Forgot to riot.
You dudes might wanna read up on “Anarchy” a little bit too. It mostly has to do with social justice and stuff and not really that much about your right to scratch up people’s old beater Camrys because you didn’t get to see “Bake and Destroy.” Here, dudes, read some Wik!
Boring right? You rad dudes probly don’t even want to be Anarchists anymore. But have you considered a life as a Repo Man? It’s always intense.
[NBC]





{ 141 comments }
Get off my lawn with your damned skateboards, you lousy kids! And get a haircut!
Kids these days with their "trucks" and "vinyl wheels" and "composite boards"
When I was a boarder we had pine boards attached to old roller skates and we had to board to school nine miles uphill in both directions in 90 degree heat through six feet of snow!
And we liked it!
I remember those old steel wheels. They pounded the hell out of the sidewalk cracks.
Yes, but at least the olds could hear us coming and step out of the way.
You are a true sportsman.
And I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time…
We just had a pine board and made wheel sounds with our lips. And then we had to take the pine board inside so we could be spanked with it, for making so much noise. Ahh, the good old days.
Relevant
And then you grew up, wore a suit, and became The Man, man.
"Grow up"?
Grew old, maybe. Maybe.
These kids nowadays, with their hippin' and their hoppin' and their shootin' up reefer…
Yeah, and their MTVs and their diet sodas ain't gonna help them!
And the shuckin' and the jivin'.
Damn. Looting and pillaging and I missed it.
Plate of shrimp.
"Dude, let's go do some crimes."
John Wayne was a fag.
"I don't want no Commies in my car. No Christians, either. "
It happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes.
You people are olds.
Day, night, don't mean shit.
I noticed one of the kids keyed an "A" in the back of a truck. Education not gone to waste!
Not just an "A", but a backwards "A"!
He was going to carve "AYN," patron saint of the matted hair.
amabO?
No child left behind.
Unless they are caught by riot police.
Sorry to burst some bubbles here. I think he meant to key a V on the truck…
As a long time skater (30+ yrs.), I don't know whether to smile, or drink. Hey, why not both!?!?!11!?
Accounts for the crunchy knee?
Indeed.
Not sure that's a good idea. It looks kind of silly.
Mayhem-In-The-Streets-wise, not quite up there with the Technicals, however.
On the other hand, a Technical against Meta World Peace would put him out of our misery.
500 rioters, 100 police officers dispatched, 1 arrest made. I think the police had better weed.
Maybe their Moms came and picked 'em up before the police arrived…
Couldn't they have smoked a joint and gone to Atlas Shrugged: Part 2.
Dude! Awesome idea!
Rad!!! Got any papers?
Dude, what is this, Arizona, man?
Quit stalling and show me them papers!
Pffff, I wouldn't go see that if I were falling-down drunk.
Dude, where's your car?
Under my trampling feet!
On top of my skinny-skateboarding ass!
Skateboarding may not be a crime, but have you seen those teenage douchebags who do it? It probably should be.
AVRIL LAVIGNE LIBEL!
Let's go get a "Drink."
Someday, kids in school will be reading about this alongside such other historic moments as the Boston Tea Party, Montgomery bus boycott, and Stonewall. But they will be stoned so they won't notice the difference.
See what happens when the people don't own the means of production?
Stay tuned for more breaking news, here on DMC, the Dialectical Materialism Channel…
"DMC, where opium is the opiate of the masses"
Ha..some riot. Wait until Romney/Ryan buy/steal the election. That will be some fucking rioting, bitches.
There will riots either way.
And we're outgunned.
Yes, but riots in gated communities are black tie and by invitation only. The fountains with cherubs pissing dry martinis are cool though.
in a sluggish economy
inflation,recession
hits the land of the free
standing in unemployment lines
blame the government for hard time
we just get by
however we can
we all gotta duck
when the shit hits the fan
Just stay hydrated… and try to recycle the Molotovs
"The lights are growing dim, Otto. I know a life of crime has led me to this sorry fate, and yet, I blame society. Society made me what I am."
"That's bullshit. You're a white suburban punk just like me. "
"Hung out outside the 7-Eleven and asked grown-ups to buy them beer. Forgot to riot. "
Beer at a 7-11? I saw that last week, and was all "what the fuck?" I am looking forward to living there.
They don't serve beer in the 7-11s in Pennsyltucky?
Of course not; 7-11s are not bars or delis which are allowed to sell beers in six packs, or beer distributorships which are allowed to sell cases. Beer in 7-11, next thing you know they'll be selling alcohol in grocery stores.
The ducks will get them in the end.
“Rincewind, all the shops have been smashed open. There was a whole bunch of people across the street helping themselves to musical instruments, can you believe that?"
"Yeah," said Rincewind, picking up a knife and testing its blade thoughtfully. "Luters, I expect.”
Lutists!
"There's one in every car, you'll see."
"It happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes."
Why does Herr R. run, Jay Mok?
Skateboards don't riot and loot.
Bored upper middle class brats riot and loot.
Sadly, the Venn diagram for those two groups seems to overlap by a large bit
Well "skateboarders" sure, but note I said "skateboards." You know, like "Guns don't kill people…"
Clearly you've never been at the bottom of a ramp on the first nice day in Spring.
HENGHHH!
To be fair, it's hard to skateboard down on the farm…
The cowshit mucks up your bearings badly. I mean, you can get sealed wheels, true, but they're awful expensive and that cuts into your trucker hat allowance.
Stink moguls.
Brings to mind an old reggae song. Not that I'm a proponent, I'm just sayin'.
GD it…
kkkkkkkkk
I Drank Two Drinks for Breakfast,
I Drank Two Drinks for Lunch,
I Drank Two Drinks for Dinner,
I Drank Two Drinks at Night.
Nothing illegal about that!
always intense
I know of at least one high-
flyinfallin' dude who would agree~Meh. That wasn't intense. Bored the hell out of me.
I guess "intensity" is in the eye of the
beholderimagination, then.p.s. Repo Man bored the hell out of me so we're even?
More like a playdate than a riot.
But how else could the skateboarders have made their displeasure known besides wilding like it is the ’80s at the Puerto Rico Day Parade?
Psst, it was the West Indian Parade and the cops did it…
Some people just like to riot recreationally, like when the Canucks lose or whenever there is a live performance by Insane Clown Posse.
Never park near an ICP show. Faygo can really fuck up your paint job
Speaking of 80's wilding and Puerto Rico day gropefests (very different phenomena, Becky you young whippersnapper you), I am hoping for the day when public pool "whoops, there it is" parties make a comeback.
Speaking of 80's wilding, I just wanted to note that this phenomenon was made up (probably by the media) during the Central Park Jogger case in which five minority teens were coerced into making false confessions and whose convictions were later overturned by DNA evidence. See the new Ken Burns documentary, and Never Forget!
Tawana Brawley libel! What I am worried about right now is these "rainbow parties" and jenkem-sniffing thats all going on now! And "the choking game" (which is totally reall!).
And I heard that one time, a teenager gave a blow job to another teenager, also, too!
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!
Is that what comes after the Crying Game?
Mmmmmm. Jenkem.
Also to quote Joe Jackson's song Beat Crazy:
Sniffing pot! smoking glue!
Whatever terrible things they do!
Smoking LSD and such!
Must be the reason why they can't talk much.
Yea, the term "wilding" came about during the Central Park Jogger case, but has been applied to any group of minority youths ganging up on people.
When white kids do it, it's to protect their neighborhoods. *rolling eyes*
I first heard of "wilding" after the incidents after a free Diana Ross concert in Central Park, which was years before the jogger case, is my memory failing me so badly? God knows I am no native manhattanite, but we bridge and tunnel people live for the NY news media's breathless panic-mongering!
This from a 1989 Times article on the "jogger" case which compares it to the earlier, genuine, Diana Ross concert incidents: "Law-enforcement officials said the the scale of the Central Park episode was reminiscent of an incident in July 1983, when gangs of youths ran amok at a Diana Ross concert in Central Park, beating and robbing scores of people."
The term was "coined," and the fact of it occurring was not made up, after the 1983 Diana Ross concert in central park during which hundreds of people were mugged openly by large roving mobs. You could maybe look it up.
I did look it up, since I've never heard the term before. Didn't give the etymology, though… :0/
I love words. Here's what I found: http://schott.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/08/wildin…
The OED dates the first use of the term in this context to a Times article from April 22, 1989:
Some of the 20 youths brought in for questioning had told investigators that the crime spree was the product of a pastime called “wilding.” “It’s not a term that we in the police had heard before,” the chief said.
But yes, people had been mugged and attacked by gangs, and even "lynched" before 1989.
I scratch two cars in time of peace
And two in time of war
I scratch two cars before I scratch two cars
And then I scratch two more
White kids, white kids, whatyagonna do?
Whatyagonna do when there's no seat for yoooou!
Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole.
But I'm a little dinosaur!
Smoked a joint, gone…
Smoked a joint, went…
Smoked a joint, sat…
Smoked a joint, did…
So Madame Editrix will you be moving to Colorado, Oregon, or Washington if their recreational weed laws pass?
I think she lives in California, where it's already mostly legal.
Colorado is finally going to do something to make Colorado Springs tolerable…
But CA still has the "medical" trappings. Please don't hurt yourself when you lol and fall to floor in hysterics.
Were they trying to get in to Atlas Shrugged II?
White Punks on Dope http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkdQyyChTlw
RIP Vince
Hey fakakta, look at this!
Heyyyyyy I know this song! I juuust heard it somewheres too…Nice!
And the olds say that the kids aren't socially active.
They were auditioning for a Capitol One ad……………
DORITO NATION!!!
I came for the Mountain Dew and stayed for the Destruction!
"Huckleberry Hamill" is the greatest bystander name ever!
"Grassy Knoll" not good enough for you kids, huh?
Pretty stupid to riot about not getting into a movie where there are so many other good reasons to riot these days.
There were early reports that one person was arrested for failing to disperse, police said, but details were not immediately available
How does one person fail to disperse? Sounds more like hanging around than anything else.
Whatever happened to getting sushi and not paying?
Repo Man libel!
EATING SUSHI AND NOT PAYING: CRIMEZ
Okay, I'm a sucker. I watched the clip. Best line: "Amazingly, police were able to regain control in less than three hours." Good thing it wasn't a surfer riot.
They could always come to Wonkette and make comments in Spanish….
Or Portuguese!
i would follow huckleberry hamill to the gates of mordor.
It sounds like a 'boarder move – "Dude, he tried a doin' a huckleberry hamill and totally busted his ass."
"Rioting" because they couldn't get into a (probably lovingly restored and preserved) movie theater?
Lame, dudes!
Stick with the enormo-plexes in the suburbs next time.
From the reporter: "Signs of the damage remain: from the broken glass to the damaged cars…"
And how is this different from a 5.0 earthquake?
Well, it's much, MUCH lamer, for one…
This entire story has been overshadowed, in my mind, by the name "Huckleberry Hammill". Rad or what?
Bake and Destroy? What's in their reefer? For me, it was usually, 'smoke two hits and curl up in a paranoid ball, afraid to move or make noise lest the world laugh at me.' Hence my predilection for box chardonnay.
Skateboarding isn't a crime, but it can be a real pain in the ass.
PISSY RIOT!!!!
Boy, it's a good thing those punks decided to smash and vandalize everything in sight, 'cause if they'd sat down in peaceful protest, they'd have gotten pepper-sprayed in the face.
I believe in playing fair. This is why I only hit little old ladies with wheeled walkers, because they'll just spin around and not fall over.
Really, serious! Kids roll down, slip off and next thing you know a brigade of unmanned boards is rolling, free and unfettered at folks standing at the bottom.
Like, when I was a skater? Back in the late seventies and they had just come out with the big urethane wheels an' stuff? And we like, found all the really rad hills in town, and made slalom courses, with beeercans and stuff? And some old guy would drive down the street and run them over and roll down his window and yell get off the street at us?
That sucked.
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