QUIET RIOTS  9:39 am October 15, 2012

Rad Dudes Riot For Totally Good Reason That Isn’t Stupid At All

by Rebecca Schoenkopf


Skateboarding is not a crime, HENGHHH? Well, that is just obviously true. Except when 1500 rad dudes break a bunch of shops and do Ollies (?) up on people’s cars for the totally good reason that isn’t stupid at all of not getting into a sold-out movie. Sounds like 500 or so someones should maybe have been told “no” a few times when they were little groms! But how else could the skateboarders have made their displeasure known besides wilding like it is the ’80s at the Puerto Rico Day Parade?

  • Smoked a joint, gone home, didn’t riot.
  • Smoked a joint, went and got a pizza, didn’t riot.
  • Smoked a joint, sat on the curb, called their mom to pick them up, didn’t riot.
  • Smoked a joint, did anything besides riot.
  • Hung out outside the 7-Eleven and asked grown-ups to buy them beer. Forgot to riot.

You dudes might wanna read up on “Anarchy” a little bit too. It mostly has to do with social justice and stuff and not really that much about your right to scratch up people’s old beater Camrys because you didn’t get to see “Bake and Destroy.” Here, dudes, read some Wik!

Boring right? You rad dudes probly don’t even want to be Anarchists anymore. But have you considered a life as a Repo Man? It’s always intense.

[NBC]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 141 comments }

Respitetini October 15, 2012 at 9:42 am

Get off my lawn with your damned skateboards, you lousy kids! And get a haircut!

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:02 am

Kids these days with their "trucks" and "vinyl wheels" and "composite boards"

When I was a boarder we had pine boards attached to old roller skates and we had to board to school nine miles uphill in both directions in 90 degree heat through six feet of snow!

Respitetini October 15, 2012 at 10:04 am

And we liked it!

thatsitfortheother1 October 15, 2012 at 10:04 am

I remember those old steel wheels. They pounded the hell out of the sidewalk cracks.

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:06 am

Yes, but at least the olds could hear us coming and step out of the way.

thatsitfortheother1 October 15, 2012 at 10:19 am

You are a true sportsman.

BadKitty904 October 15, 2012 at 10:05 am

And I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time…

Naked_Bunny October 15, 2012 at 10:31 am

We just had a pine board and made wheel sounds with our lips. And then we had to take the pine board inside so we could be spanked with it, for making so much noise. Ahh, the good old days.

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:34 am
Esteev October 15, 2012 at 10:31 am

And then you grew up, wore a suit, and became The Man, man.

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:35 am

"Grow up"?

Grew old, maybe. Maybe.

BadKitty904 October 15, 2012 at 9:44 am

These kids nowadays, with their hippin' and their hoppin' and their shootin' up reefer…

GhostBuggy October 15, 2012 at 10:31 am

Yeah, and their MTVs and their diet sodas ain't gonna help them!

starfanglednut October 15, 2012 at 11:30 am

And the shuckin' and the jivin'.

randcoolcatdaddy October 15, 2012 at 9:44 am

Damn. Looting and pillaging and I missed it.

FNMA October 15, 2012 at 9:44 am

Plate of shrimp.

BadKitty904 October 15, 2012 at 9:47 am

"Dude, let's go do some crimes."

TavariousChinaSmith October 15, 2012 at 9:50 am

John Wayne was a fag.

BadKitty904 October 15, 2012 at 9:52 am

"I don't want no Commies in my car. No Christians, either. "

UW8316154 October 15, 2012 at 10:07 am

It happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes.

Tommmcatt_Again October 15, 2012 at 12:19 pm

You people are olds.

HabsFan29 October 15, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Day, night, don't mean shit.

KeepFnThatChicken October 15, 2012 at 9:45 am

I noticed one of the kids keyed an "A" in the back of a truck. Education not gone to waste!

Biff October 15, 2012 at 9:56 am

Not just an "A", but a backwards "A"!

EatsBabyDingos October 15, 2012 at 10:00 am

He was going to carve "AYN," patron saint of the matted hair.

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:03 am

amabO?

thatsitfortheother1 October 15, 2012 at 10:05 am

No child left behind.

Esteev October 15, 2012 at 11:10 am

Unless they are caught by riot police.

rickmaci October 15, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Sorry to burst some bubbles here. I think he meant to key a V on the truck…

CrunchyKnee October 15, 2012 at 9:45 am

As a long time skater (30+ yrs.), I don't know whether to smile, or drink. Hey, why not both!?!?!11!?

Chet Kincaid_ October 15, 2012 at 10:34 am

Accounts for the crunchy knee?

CrunchyKnee October 15, 2012 at 11:49 am

Indeed.

CommieLibunatic October 15, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Not sure that's a good idea. It looks kind of silly.

memzilla October 15, 2012 at 9:46 am

Mayhem-In-The-Streets-wise, not quite up there with the Technicals, however.

Chet Kincaid_ October 15, 2012 at 10:35 am

On the other hand, a Technical against Meta World Peace would put him out of our misery.

Barbara_ October 15, 2012 at 9:46 am

500 rioters, 100 police officers dispatched, 1 arrest made. I think the police had better weed.

BadKitty904 October 15, 2012 at 9:49 am

Maybe their Moms came and picked 'em up before the police arrived…

no_gravity October 15, 2012 at 9:48 am

Couldn't they have smoked a joint and gone to Atlas Shrugged: Part 2.

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:07 am

Dude! Awesome idea!

no_gravity October 15, 2012 at 10:09 am

Rad!!! Got any papers?

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:14 am

Dude, what is this, Arizona, man?

Esteev October 15, 2012 at 10:33 am

Quit stalling and show me them papers!

CommieLibunatic October 15, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Pffff, I wouldn't go see that if I were falling-down drunk.

ttommyunger October 15, 2012 at 9:49 am

Dude, where's your car?

Esteev October 15, 2012 at 10:30 am

Under my trampling feet!

ttommyunger October 15, 2012 at 10:45 am

On top of my skinny-skateboarding ass!

SorosBot October 15, 2012 at 9:49 am

Skateboarding may not be a crime, but have you seen those teenage douchebags who do it? It probably should be.

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:07 am

AVRIL LAVIGNE LIBEL!

Doktor Zoom October 15, 2012 at 9:49 am

Let's go get a "Drink."

Pragmatist2 October 15, 2012 at 9:50 am

Someday, kids in school will be reading about this alongside such other historic moments as the Boston Tea Party, Montgomery bus boycott, and Stonewall. But they will be stoned so they won't notice the difference.

memzilla October 15, 2012 at 9:50 am

See what happens when the people don't own the means of production?

Stay tuned for more breaking news, here on DMC, the Dialectical Materialism Channel…

Beach_Bubba_Tex October 15, 2012 at 11:07 am

"DMC, where opium is the opiate of the masses"

freakishlywrong October 15, 2012 at 9:50 am

Ha..some riot. Wait until Romney/Ryan buy/steal the election. That will be some fucking rioting, bitches.

ChillBill October 15, 2012 at 9:54 am

There will riots either way.

thatsitfortheother1 October 15, 2012 at 10:07 am

And we're outgunned.

valgal2342 October 15, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Yes, but riots in gated communities are black tie and by invitation only. The fountains with cherubs pissing dry martinis are cool though.

UW8316154 October 15, 2012 at 10:19 am

in a sluggish economy
inflation,recession
hits the land of the free
standing in unemployment lines
blame the government for hard time

we just get by
however we can
we all gotta duck
when the shit hits the fan

Beach_Bubba_Tex October 15, 2012 at 11:06 am

Just stay hydrated… and try to recycle the Molotovs

BadKitty904 October 15, 2012 at 9:50 am

"The lights are growing dim, Otto. I know a life of crime has led me to this sorry fate, and yet, I blame society. Society made me what I am."

TavariousChinaSmith October 15, 2012 at 9:57 am

"That's bullshit. You're a white suburban punk just like me. "

SorosBot October 15, 2012 at 9:51 am

"Hung out outside the 7-Eleven and asked grown-ups to buy them beer. Forgot to riot. "

Beer at a 7-11? I saw that last week, and was all "what the fuck?" I am looking forward to living there.

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:30 am

They don't serve beer in the 7-11s in Pennsyltucky?

SorosBot October 15, 2012 at 10:36 am

Of course not; 7-11s are not bars or delis which are allowed to sell beers in six packs, or beer distributorships which are allowed to sell cases. Beer in 7-11, next thing you know they'll be selling alcohol in grocery stores.

TootsStansbury October 15, 2012 at 9:51 am

The ducks will get them in the end.

Doktor Zoom October 15, 2012 at 9:52 am

“Rincewind, all the shops have been smashed open. There was a whole bunch of people across the street helping themselves to musical instruments, can you believe that?"

"Yeah," said Rincewind, picking up a knife and testing its blade thoughtfully. "Luters, I expect.”

johnnyzhivago October 15, 2012 at 9:56 am

Lutists!

CrunchyKnee October 15, 2012 at 9:53 am

"There's one in every car, you'll see."

BadKitty904 October 15, 2012 at 9:55 am

"It happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes."

SaintNixon October 15, 2012 at 9:55 am

Why does Herr R. run, Jay Mok?

TavariousChinaSmith October 15, 2012 at 9:56 am

Skateboards don't riot and loot.
Bored upper middle class brats riot and loot.

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:00 am

Sadly, the Venn diagram for those two groups seems to overlap by a large bit

TavariousChinaSmith October 15, 2012 at 10:03 am

Well "skateboarders" sure, but note I said "skateboards." You know, like "Guns don't kill people…"

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:09 am

Clearly you've never been at the bottom of a ramp on the first nice day in Spring.

TavariousChinaSmith October 15, 2012 at 10:15 am

HENGHHH!

thatsitfortheother1 October 15, 2012 at 10:10 am

To be fair, it's hard to skateboard down on the farm…

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:15 am

The cowshit mucks up your bearings badly. I mean, you can get sealed wheels, true, but they're awful expensive and that cuts into your trucker hat allowance.

thatsitfortheother1 October 15, 2012 at 10:24 am

Stink moguls.

Biff October 15, 2012 at 9:59 am

Brings to mind an old reggae song. Not that I'm a proponent, I'm just sayin'.

BornInATrailer October 15, 2012 at 10:09 am

GD it…

Biff October 15, 2012 at 10:22 am

kkkkkkkkk

proudgrampa October 15, 2012 at 11:20 am

I Drank Two Drinks for Breakfast,
I Drank Two Drinks for Lunch,
I Drank Two Drinks for Dinner,
I Drank Two Drinks at Night.

Nothing illegal about that!

Mumbletypeg October 15, 2012 at 9:59 am

always intense

I know of at least one high-flyin fallin' dude who would agree~

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:09 am

Meh. That wasn't intense. Bored the hell out of me.

Mumbletypeg October 15, 2012 at 10:32 am

I guess "intensity" is in the eye of the beholder imagination, then.

p.s. Repo Man bored the hell out of me so we're even?

johnnyzhivago October 15, 2012 at 9:59 am

More like a playdate than a riot.

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 9:59 am

But how else could the skateboarders have made their displeasure known besides wilding like it is the ’80s at the Puerto Rico Day Parade?

Psst, it was the West Indian Parade and the cops did it…

GregComlish October 15, 2012 at 10:00 am

Some people just like to riot recreationally, like when the Canucks lose or whenever there is a live performance by Insane Clown Posse.

DCBloom October 15, 2012 at 10:22 am

Never park near an ICP show. Faygo can really fuck up your paint job

prommie October 15, 2012 at 10:01 am

Speaking of 80's wilding and Puerto Rico day gropefests (very different phenomena, Becky you young whippersnapper you), I am hoping for the day when public pool "whoops, there it is" parties make a comeback.

TavariousChinaSmith October 15, 2012 at 10:09 am

Speaking of 80's wilding, I just wanted to note that this phenomenon was made up (probably by the media) during the Central Park Jogger case in which five minority teens were coerced into making false confessions and whose convictions were later overturned by DNA evidence. See the new Ken Burns documentary, and Never Forget!

prommie October 15, 2012 at 10:13 am

Tawana Brawley libel! What I am worried about right now is these "rainbow parties" and jenkem-sniffing thats all going on now! And "the choking game" (which is totally reall!).

TavariousChinaSmith October 15, 2012 at 10:16 am

And I heard that one time, a teenager gave a blow job to another teenager, also, too!

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:32 am

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:19 am

Is that what comes after the Crying Game?

thatsitfortheother1 October 15, 2012 at 10:26 am

Mmmmmm. Jenkem.

TavariousChinaSmith October 15, 2012 at 10:39 am

Also to quote Joe Jackson's song Beat Crazy:
Sniffing pot! smoking glue!
Whatever terrible things they do!
Smoking LSD and such!
Must be the reason why they can't talk much.

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:18 am

Yea, the term "wilding" came about during the Central Park Jogger case, but has been applied to any group of minority youths ganging up on people.

When white kids do it, it's to protect their neighborhoods. *rolling eyes*

prommie October 15, 2012 at 10:38 am

I first heard of "wilding" after the incidents after a free Diana Ross concert in Central Park, which was years before the jogger case, is my memory failing me so badly? God knows I am no native manhattanite, but we bridge and tunnel people live for the NY news media's breathless panic-mongering!

prommie October 15, 2012 at 10:47 am

This from a 1989 Times article on the "jogger" case which compares it to the earlier, genuine, Diana Ross concert incidents: "Law-enforcement officials said the the scale of the Central Park episode was reminiscent of an incident in July 1983, when gangs of youths ran amok at a Diana Ross concert in Central Park, beating and robbing scores of people."

prommie October 15, 2012 at 10:45 am

The term was "coined," and the fact of it occurring was not made up, after the 1983 Diana Ross concert in central park during which hundreds of people were mugged openly by large roving mobs. You could maybe look it up.

BadKitty904 October 15, 2012 at 11:38 am

I did look it up, since I've never heard the term before. Didn't give the etymology, though… :0/

TavariousChinaSmith October 15, 2012 at 12:16 pm

I love words. Here's what I found: http://schott.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/04/08/wildin
The OED dates the first use of the term in this context to a Times article from April 22, 1989:

Some of the 20 youths brought in for questioning had told investigators that the crime spree was the product of a pastime called “wilding.” “It’s not a term that we in the police had heard before,” the chief said.

But yes, people had been mugged and attacked by gangs, and even "lynched" before 1989.

BornInATrailer October 15, 2012 at 10:05 am

I scratch two cars in time of peace
And two in time of war
I scratch two cars before I scratch two cars
And then I scratch two more

ManchuCandidate October 15, 2012 at 10:07 am

White kids, white kids, whatyagonna do?
Whatyagonna do when there's no seat for yoooou!

UW8316154 October 15, 2012 at 10:10 am

Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole.

prommie October 15, 2012 at 10:20 am

But I'm a little dinosaur!

weejee October 15, 2012 at 10:18 am

Smoked a joint, gone…
Smoked a joint, went…
Smoked a joint, sat…
Smoked a joint, did…

So Madame Editrix will you be moving to Colorado, Oregon, or Washington if their recreational weed laws pass?

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:32 am

I think she lives in California, where it's already mostly legal.

thatsitfortheother1 October 15, 2012 at 10:47 am

Colorado is finally going to do something to make Colorado Springs tolerable…

weejee October 15, 2012 at 10:48 am

But CA still has the "medical" trappings. Please don't hurt yourself when you lol and fall to floor in hysterics.

TootsStansbury October 15, 2012 at 10:21 am

Were they trying to get in to Atlas Shrugged II?

DCBloom October 15, 2012 at 10:23 am

White Punks on Dope http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkdQyyChTlw
RIP Vince

prommie October 15, 2012 at 10:38 am

Hey fakakta, look at this!

FakaktaSouth October 15, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Heyyyyyy I know this song! I juuust heard it somewheres too…Nice!

Esteev October 15, 2012 at 10:28 am

And the olds say that the kids aren't socially active.

dennis1943 October 15, 2012 at 10:30 am

They were auditioning for a Capitol One ad……………

DahBoner October 15, 2012 at 10:31 am

DORITO NATION!!!

Esteev October 15, 2012 at 10:36 am

I came for the Mountain Dew and stayed for the Destruction!

Chet Kincaid_ October 15, 2012 at 10:31 am

"Huckleberry Hamill" is the greatest bystander name ever!

Beach_Bubba_Tex October 15, 2012 at 11:03 am

"Grassy Knoll" not good enough for you kids, huh?

TheGyrus October 15, 2012 at 10:34 am

Pretty stupid to riot about not getting into a movie where there are so many other good reasons to riot these days.

Chow Yun Flat October 15, 2012 at 10:57 am

There were early reports that one person was arrested for failing to disperse, police said, but details were not immediately available

How does one person fail to disperse? Sounds more like hanging around than anything else.

Come here a minute October 15, 2012 at 10:58 am

Whatever happened to getting sushi and not paying?

Mittaplasia October 15, 2012 at 12:20 pm

Repo Man libel!

DahBoner October 15, 2012 at 2:07 pm

EATING SUSHI AND NOT PAYING: CRIMEZ

Beach_Bubba_Tex October 15, 2012 at 11:03 am

Okay, I'm a sucker. I watched the clip. Best line: "Amazingly, police were able to regain control in less than three hours." Good thing it wasn't a surfer riot.

LibertyLover October 15, 2012 at 11:07 am

They could always come to Wonkette and make comments in Spanish….

BadKitty904 October 15, 2012 at 11:39 am

Or Portuguese!

fuflans October 15, 2012 at 11:13 am

i would follow huckleberry hamill to the gates of mordor.

BadKitty904 October 15, 2012 at 11:40 am

It sounds like a 'boarder move – "Dude, he tried a doin' a huckleberry hamill and totally busted his ass."

DemmeFatale October 15, 2012 at 11:16 am

"Rioting" because they couldn't get into a (probably lovingly restored and preserved) movie theater?
Lame, dudes!
Stick with the enormo-plexes in the suburbs next time.

LibertyLover October 15, 2012 at 11:16 am

From the reporter: "Signs of the damage remain: from the broken glass to the damaged cars…"

And how is this different from a 5.0 earthquake?

BadKitty904 October 15, 2012 at 11:41 am

Well, it's much, MUCH lamer, for one…

larrykat October 15, 2012 at 11:44 am

This entire story has been overshadowed, in my mind, by the name "Huckleberry Hammill". Rad or what?

Pat_Pending October 15, 2012 at 12:56 pm

Bake and Destroy? What's in their reefer? For me, it was usually, 'smoke two hits and curl up in a paranoid ball, afraid to move or make noise lest the world laugh at me.' Hence my predilection for box chardonnay.

Smitros October 15, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Skateboarding isn't a crime, but it can be a real pain in the ass.

bobbert October 15, 2012 at 4:51 pm

PISSY RIOT!!!!

CthuNHu October 15, 2012 at 5:41 pm

Boy, it's a good thing those punks decided to smash and vandalize everything in sight, 'cause if they'd sat down in peaceful protest, they'd have gotten pepper-sprayed in the face.

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:20 am

I believe in playing fair. This is why I only hit little old ladies with wheeled walkers, because they'll just spin around and not fall over.

actor212 October 15, 2012 at 10:31 am

Really, serious! Kids roll down, slip off and next thing you know a brigade of unmanned boards is rolling, free and unfettered at folks standing at the bottom.

Lascauxcaveman October 15, 2012 at 10:37 am

Like, when I was a skater? Back in the late seventies and they had just come out with the big urethane wheels an' stuff? And we like, found all the really rad hills in town, and made slalom courses, with beeercans and stuff? And some old guy would drive down the street and run them over and roll down his window and yell get off the street at us?

That sucked.

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