KIDS SAY THE DARNEDEST THINGS  2:00 pm October 14, 2012

Wise Teen Girl Proves Benefits Of Home-Schooling: Being Gay Turns You Into A Duck

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

duck attackParents! Have you ever wanted to rip your kids from the dastardly public school system, but worried that your own lack of education (and terrible laziness) would turn your children into raving dolts? Well worry no more, as a website for LGBT people with mental health issues in New Zealand (there really is a home for everyone on the World Wild Web!) points us to the following letter to the editor from 14-year-old Jasmin H., who proves handily that home-schooling your children leads inexorably to wisdom, logic, and insight. Jasmin weaves together a plethora of data points in a tour de force that explains that since the Romans did homo stuff in each other’s butts, evolution proves that being gay makes you compete with ducks, if evolution were a thing which it obviously isn’t. Let us gaze upon it in wonder together, after the jump!

behold the smartitude!Now, we once knew a home-schooled family of the right-wing Christian variety where the children were truly smart, lovely and upstanding, and the mom honestly took her duty to educate them quite seriously. We once paid those kids $5 to feed our dog for the weekend, and they not only did so, but they walked her, they brushed her, and they picked up her poo. Obviously, this was a home-schooling family of righteousness.

And if they’d written a letter to the editor about homosexuality destroying society, which wouldn’t surprise us, it would have made a lot more sense.

[BiPolarBear]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 679 comments }

nounverb911 October 14, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Daffy or Donald Duck?

CrunchyKnee October 14, 2012 at 2:11 pm
Lucidamente1 October 14, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Howard?

Mittaplasia October 14, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Dirty Duck? Lord Love A Duck?

Callyson October 14, 2012 at 2:50 pm
HarryButtle October 14, 2012 at 5:20 pm

I demand that you shoot me now.

Dudleydidwrong October 14, 2012 at 10:44 pm

And serve you in a Chinese restaurant?

Dashboard Buddha October 14, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Either one…just so long she's not fucking Goofy.

Chet Kincaid_ October 14, 2012 at 2:05 pm

I strongly suspect that newspaper was punked, because that is rather too hilarious.

Lascauxcaveman October 14, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Yeah, this reeks of Flying Spaghetti Monsters and pirates/global temperature increase ratios.

Not that those aren't real, mind you…

MaxUdargo October 14, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Actually, I think Jasmin is a kindred spirit. Her sense of humor ("the ducks will get you in the end") would fit in well here. Unfortunately, her worldview would not.

She obviously has pretensions of intellectualism. Let's all hope that leads her to higher education and a few epiphanies, and a healthy sense of snark can overcome many disadvantages.

miss_grundy October 15, 2012 at 8:50 am

Or else she will wind up like that puppy, Paul Lyin' Ryan and that would be a shame.

finette_ October 14, 2012 at 4:28 pm

"All being equal, with ducks more equal than us" sounds like someone who knows her Orwell.

pigdog2 October 14, 2012 at 5:09 pm

.. and "get you in the end" is a little too neat.

Nicely done, though.

Dudleydidwrong October 14, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Isn't that more "goose" than "duck"?

frostbitefalls October 14, 2012 at 6:58 pm

She mighta read "Animal Farm." I think it's popular with the anti-Communist crowd.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 14, 2012 at 10:12 pm

Yeah, but she actually, you know, got it. That's not supposed to happen in Teabaggistan.

trampndirtdown October 14, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Read this yesterday on PZ Myers site and he has some annotations for her letter. http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2012/10/13

Jukesgrrl October 14, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I personally believe, that U.S. Americans are unable to understand the dangers of homosexuality because uh, some people out there, in our nation don’t have maps. And uh … I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq, everywhere like such as … and, I believe they should uh, our education over here, in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa, and should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.

NellCote71 October 14, 2012 at 10:11 pm

Sarah, is that you?

sullivanst October 14, 2012 at 11:16 pm

Caitlin Upton, bien sur.

Jukesgrrl October 15, 2012 at 7:19 pm

No, it's Miss South Carolina.But a plausible guess.

joeyjoejoejs October 15, 2012 at 1:33 am

the lack of laffs since ken left wonkette made me suspicious that rebecca was a humorless 60-year-old pretending to be a one of those hip, sassy 40-somethings. she took this obvious prank letter at face? and then she backed away from insulting home-schoolers? (don't worry everyone, she's a parent and that makes her wise and understanding. i want to be reminded of the fact that she's a parent in every article from now on.) the only reason i've kept on reading this blog is, though the writing isn't funny anymore, at least the articles lead me to a good supply of political death porn, if i can wade through the working mother advice columns, middle-aged woman lettin' loose wine party photos and animated pony images. used to be a great site.

Incitefully_Joe October 15, 2012 at 7:29 pm

Also, the quality of the average comment on this blog took a massive nosedive, roughly 17 hours ago.

Weird.

Doktor Zoom October 15, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Not to mention some accidental troll-upfisting (or maybe this one-comment account is going to lead the commenter insurgency that will return Wonkette to being Truly Funny again.

All I can say is, I am just happy that it noticed my ponies.

[Zoidberg] Hooray! Someone's paying attention to me! [/Zoidberg]

Omophagist October 14, 2012 at 2:09 pm

The Romans also embraced Christianity as the official religion of their empire, nearly 2000 years have passed, so we should have moved past them. Ipso facto Christianity is exactly the same as two dudes anally fucking.

mavenmaven October 14, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Dove libel!

Fare la Volpe October 14, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Now that's a religion I can get behind!

vulpes82 October 14, 2012 at 5:45 pm

Funny, I would have pegged you (heh) for a bottom!

tracyhasfun October 14, 2012 at 3:18 pm

I like it. But, logic? I'm confident our lil letter writer has not been skooled in it.

tessiee October 14, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Also, the song "Tutti Frutti".

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:17 pm

o loko +59

FeloniousMonk October 14, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Or, indeed, two ducks anally feuding.

TheMightyHaltor October 15, 2012 at 12:38 am

There are at least a few priests who would agree with you.

MrsConclusion October 15, 2012 at 11:10 am

Plus, how many ducks call themselves Christians? None, is how many! Aren't we as smart as they? I know I am!

CrunchyKnee October 14, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Aflac libelz!

imissopus October 14, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Obviously someone has been watching this classic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXPcBI4CJc8

finette_ October 14, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Yay, I was going to post that if no one else had!

Doktor Zoom October 14, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Clearly this young lady doesn't follow the Ig Nobel prizes, at least not the Biology prize in 2003, "for documenting the first scientifically recorded case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck. "

Also, too, obligatory Garfunkle and Oates link.

(EDIT: Half a minute behind imissopus, as usual)

sullivanst October 14, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Of course, a long, long time after homosexual necrophilia was first recorded in penguins, even if it was published years in advance of that revelataion. Thanks, censorship.

Lucidamente1 October 14, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Jasmin H., you're dethpicable.

Doktor Zoom October 14, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Paul Broun is probably going to offer this fine young thinker an internship on the House Science Committee.

Lot_49 October 14, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Internship? More like about chief of staff! Her brain hasn't been fouled with public school pseudo-science yet, so she's just what the committee nees

Biel_ze_Bubba October 15, 2012 at 3:07 am

And the Congressional Prayer Caucus. Because the two go really well together.

rocktonsam October 14, 2012 at 2:16 pm

I haz a confused

Liberalatchi October 14, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Bless her heart so does she. If she is trying to be pithy she fails in the funneez. Any who you can't say you don't believe in evolution and then hope your children evolve better than the ducks.

Warpde October 14, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Quake……quake quake quake?
Quake quake quake…….QUAKE!!!
Aflac, quack.

ThankYouJeebus October 14, 2012 at 2:23 pm

She, like most evangelical loons, probably believes that great wealth means you have been chosen by god. So explain Scrooge McDuck.

BZ1 October 14, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Isn't homeschooling so quaint? you never know what'll come out of it, but ducks inheriting the earth, sigh.

rocktonsam October 14, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Arlen Spector died

Omophagist October 14, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Died? Or was he murdered by an Obamacare death panel made up of zombie Stalin, Pol Pot, Judas Iscariot, and Darwin?

zumpie October 14, 2012 at 5:30 pm

What, no Kim Jong Il????

glamourdammerung October 14, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Died? Or was he murdered by an Obamacare death panel made up of zombie Stalin, Pol Pot, Judas Iscariot, and Darwin?

Magic bullet.

Mittaplasia October 14, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Was he bitten to death by ducks?

OneDollarJuana October 14, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Now don't go blaming ducks for this. It's bad enough that they are going to take over the world because homos.

bauserdotcom October 14, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Nobody cares.

Lot_49 October 14, 2012 at 4:02 pm

And all he wanted was to get RE-EE-LECT-ED.

That and one night alone with Anita Hill.

Jukesgrrl October 14, 2012 at 5:20 pm

More importantly, is there such a thing as a Brazilian banhammer?

Veritas78 October 14, 2012 at 5:32 pm

How can they tell?

FeloniousMonk October 14, 2012 at 9:04 pm

He had an erection. (Somebody had to say it, since Benchley's not around.)

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 5:33 pm

I heard it was the Avian Flew.

Steverino247 October 14, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Was there a magic bullet involved? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Single_bullet_theory

Blueb4sinrise October 14, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Fuck a duck.

KeepFnThatChicken October 14, 2012 at 10:27 pm

First thing I could think of, but I got here after 592 other precious comments made it furst.

OzoneTom October 14, 2012 at 2:26 pm

I wonder if her home-schooling taught her about the size of duck wangs.

Biff October 14, 2012 at 2:33 pm

This matters, what with the ducks getting us in the end and all.

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Hmmm.. I have just realized that I have never seen a Duck wang.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 14, 2012 at 4:07 pm

You are in for a treat. Definitely look this up. Will not clue you in with a spoiler.

HogeyeGrex October 14, 2012 at 4:34 pm
DemmeFatale October 14, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Well!
Isabella!

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Is this what Todd Akin meant?

Callyson October 14, 2012 at 5:08 pm

I tried to resist, I really did…

Duck Penis

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLXvojn5ZQ0&fe

starfanglednut October 14, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Gah! Thanks a lot, Cally. I going to haz teh nightmarez.

Anne_Athema October 14, 2012 at 6:49 pm

OMG! Duck rape!!!

HogeyeGrex October 14, 2012 at 8:37 pm

LOLrotini

Mittaplasia October 14, 2012 at 2:42 pm

I'm thinking that mom "ducked" that question.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Duck Wang would be a great Chinese Restaurant name.

SayItWithWookies October 14, 2012 at 8:14 pm

I thought Duck Wang played second base for the Inchon Pirates.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 9:11 pm

No, that was Dirk Wong. He was traded to the Formosa Buccaneers in '78.

unclejeems October 14, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Ducks have two wangs–don't they?

glasspusher October 14, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Some lizards do. They are called hemipenes, I kid you not.

Bonzos_Bed_Time October 15, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Long Duck Dong

fartknocker October 14, 2012 at 2:27 pm

I have friends who purchase and collect very special game calls for duck hunting. When I have helped them dress the birds after we harvest them, they always sex the animal to determine if its a male or female. Following Jasmin's logic, I understand why we never found any dead gay ducks because they are obviously the prettiest ducks and are very elusive.

I should inform the Duck Commander down in Louisiana about this as it is an obvious missed business opportunity in the duck call engineering and manufacturing world.

Fare la Volpe October 14, 2012 at 3:07 pm

they always sex the animal to determine if its a male or female

I think you should determine that before you sex someone, but I'm just old-fashioned I guess.

PubOption October 14, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Not sure about drunks in Thailand.

Doktor Zoom October 14, 2012 at 10:13 pm

I get my kicks above the waistline, Sunshine.

SayItWithWookies October 14, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Gay ducks don't have calls — they just wear a bandanna in their back pocket and you have to know the code.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 8:22 pm

You know, almost all ducks exhibit visible sexual dimorphism, so I suspect your friends are Sexing the ducks just for fun.

Negropolis October 15, 2012 at 3:30 am

This. lol

FeloniousMonk October 14, 2012 at 9:15 pm

I should inform the Duck Commander down in Louisiana about this as it is an obvious missed business opportunity in the duck call engineering and manufacturing world.

Goddammit, how do you get sprayed beer out of a laptop keyboard? Oh, I am going to have so much fun with this. (I live in Louisiana, and it's going to be a great topic next time I'm eating one of my hunting friends' duck and sausage gumbo.)

vtxmcrider October 14, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Who needs those fancy duck calls? I just put some show tunes on the stereo and turn up the volume. The gay ducks come prancing out of the woods right up to the house.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 15, 2012 at 3:12 am

But when you're deep in the woods, you need a duck call that can play Cole Porter.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 2:29 pm

I think that drawing comparisons between ourselves and ducks is dangerous. What if this girl finds out that she weighs as much as a duck? That proves that she's made of wood, and you know what THAT means?

Biff October 14, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Splinters, obvs.

Mittaplasia October 14, 2012 at 2:36 pm

She turned me into a newt but I got better. Burn her, anyway!

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Someone will put a fake cone nose on her and try to burn her at the stake?

MosesInvests October 14, 2012 at 10:18 pm

Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?

smokingood October 14, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Well, on the bright side, at least she can read and write in complete sentences. That leaves open the possibility that she might soon be able to figure out that her parents are fucking idiots. It worked for me at least.

HogeyeGrex October 14, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Hope springs eternal.

Biff October 14, 2012 at 2:30 pm

My fundamentalist nephew's wife was a public schoolteacher. She quit to homeschool their 3 kids. The oldest girl recently came out as a-gasp-Democrat!
Best laid plans…

Jukesgrrl October 14, 2012 at 5:13 pm

That's a coming out that calls for its own pride festival. At least take her out to dinner.

viennawoods13 October 15, 2012 at 12:09 am

We had a public schoolteacher in the area whose wife homeschooled their own kids. So… the system was good enough to support the family, but NOT good enough to teach their kids. yeah. Right.

Mittaplasia October 14, 2012 at 2:33 pm

What the duck????

smashedinhat October 14, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Sigh…I blame rap music.

gurukalehuru October 14, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Disco….Disco Duck

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 4:17 pm

pop

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Clearly this child has been reading Beka books.

sudsmckenzie October 14, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Is our children competing with ducks?

UW8316154 October 14, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Of course there is, you know, the argument that if the ghey has been around more than 2,000 years, there must be *something* pretty compelling about it.

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 2:46 pm

That's IT! Heterosexuality produces homosexuals! This must be stopped right away!

ManchuCandidate October 14, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Between the bullshit history, fear of maths and sciences and piss poor logic, these fundie kids should have no problem finding good paying technical jobs in the 21st century.

Dr. Nick Riviera October 14, 2012 at 2:43 pm

They WOULD except for Affirmative Action!

Chet Kincaid_ October 14, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Restaurant Grease Trap Maintenance is a burgeoning field.

HogeyeGrex October 14, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Jasmin is a fine stripper name.

Redgyal October 14, 2012 at 5:56 pm

You would be amazed how well they do in the corporate world.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 14, 2012 at 10:33 pm

And GOP politics.

snowpointsecret October 14, 2012 at 2:38 pm

My road is named after a duck and there's at least one gay person on it. Proof of evolution?

mbobier October 14, 2012 at 2:38 pm

Competing with ducks was where the ancient Romans went wrong.

Swampgas_Man October 14, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Romans never could get down.

Dashboard Buddha October 14, 2012 at 6:01 pm

Well…it was Geese that saved ancient rome once.

SigDeFlyinMonky October 14, 2012 at 11:55 pm

But…. Do geese see God?

SexySmurf October 14, 2012 at 2:42 pm

I, for one, welcome our new duck overlords.

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Thank you.

kittensdontlie October 14, 2012 at 7:01 pm

With a quack, quack here and a quack, quack there. Here a quack, there a quack, everywhere a quack, quack.

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 2:42 pm

Duck overlords?!? It's about time somebody said something.

I think you guys have been forgetting your manners.

tessiee October 14, 2012 at 5:20 pm

*offers snack tray of cracked corn*

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 2:43 pm

If I were her English teacher, I would have to downgrade her paper for destroying her own premise in the last paragraph. Throughout this missive, she uses evolution to attempt to persuade us that homosexuality is wrong. But then she doesn't believe in evolution.

All of the duck nonsense, notwithstanding, If you are going to start down one road of reasoning, you have to stick with your initial premise.

valgal2342 October 14, 2012 at 2:47 pm

How can she say our level of intelligence should have evolved more then in the next breath say she doesn't believe in evolution? Oh right….ducks. (With apologies to el_donaldo) Home schooling is too hard!!!!!!!! kkkkkkkkkkkkkk

And I was going to move to New Zealand if Mittens wins. Agggggh! Is there no where on Earth free from the these people?????

Lascauxcaveman October 14, 2012 at 3:21 pm

How can she say our level of intelligence should have evolved more then in the next breath say she doesn't believe in evolution?

I don't know, but if New Zealand has something roughtly equivalent to FOX News, she's a shoo-in* for a job there in 10 years.

*Provided she is blonde, or willing to become so.

doloras October 14, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Don't worry. In New Zealand, the religious right are a tiny minority who are laughed at openly in the street. Google "Colin Craig" for examples.

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:58 pm

cad um que aparece

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Dear Jasmine H,

Ducks ALWAYS get you in the end.

Regards,
LL

GregComlish October 14, 2012 at 2:48 pm

"the ducks will get you in the end"

Not if we get them in their end first. Do you see what happens Donald? Do you see what happens when you try to fuck a more evolved species in the ass?

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Speaking of ducks' asses, now that we're in charge, humans will need to learn all about the pygostyle.

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 3:02 pm

opp opp opp.

HogeyeGrex October 14, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Oppan Pygostyle?

GregComlish October 14, 2012 at 4:42 pm

"You don't love me. You just love my Pygostyle."

Doktor Zoom October 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Best part of the article?

"Pope's nose redirects here. It may also refer to the license plate light on early Volkswagen Beetles."

glasspusher October 14, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Holy shit. I have owned a dozen beetles (on my last one) and have never heard that. Interesting. Air cooled forever!

Biel_ze_Bubba October 14, 2012 at 10:31 pm
HistoriCat October 15, 2012 at 12:55 pm

I don't see that going as viral as Gangnam style.

seppdecker October 14, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Is it like what happens when you try to friend a stranger in the Alps?

Biff October 14, 2012 at 3:53 pm

You mean like yodeling in the valley?

iburl October 14, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Well, fuck a duck.

Lascauxcaveman October 14, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Now wait a minute here, let's not be too hasty to judge.

[/ trying to envision how awesome a world controlled by ducks would be]

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Well, for starters, instead of complicated relationships, we'll have complicated genitalia.

Anne_Athema October 14, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Aren't cloacas less complicated?

Swampgas_Man October 14, 2012 at 5:57 pm

You would be FORCED to cast your bread upon the waters.

MiniMencken October 14, 2012 at 2:50 pm

What's with all these stories in the Lamestrean LIEberal media about fourteen year-old girls and education? I see a trend. Time Magazine editors, are you reading this?

DrunkIrishman October 14, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Duck you, Jasmin.

bumfug October 14, 2012 at 2:52 pm

A duck getting you in the end is more properly called "bestiality", not "homosexuality".

mavenmaven October 14, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Keeping in mind that ducks evolved from dinosaurs, it's only a matter of time, really, till they dominate.

coolhandnuke October 14, 2012 at 2:57 pm

The Oregon Ducks have the fiercest, most flamboyant uniforms in College Football. They also have tight ends and wide receivers. And they seem to lick the Beavers every year.
I rest my case.

Biff October 14, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Wait a minute–that's not gay at all!

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 2:57 pm

You know, while Jasmin has gotten everyone all distracted and worried about the Duck Problem, it's the Cephalopods that will really get you in the end.

finallyhappy October 14, 2012 at 3:36 pm

That is what the Cephalopod experts at NOAA and the Smithsonian tell us in our lectures. Be ready to welcome your GIant Squid Overlords!

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Cthulhu fhtagn!

Biel_ze_Bubba October 14, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Cephalopods will really get you in the end.

There's some sort of Japanese porn that proves this. Or so I've been told.

Callyson October 14, 2012 at 2:59 pm

I guess those people who collect wooden ducks have a much more interesting sex life than I ever expected…

angryspittle October 14, 2012 at 3:00 pm

This little dolt is worried about being stuck on the evolutionary ladder but then says she doesn't believe in evolution? There is your advanced logic as taught to home schoolers.

MonkeyMotion October 14, 2012 at 3:02 pm

I see a bright future for this kid…at Chik-Fil-A.

Dr. Nick Riviera October 14, 2012 at 3:03 pm

Sadly it"a not duck season, but wabbit season

Lascauxcaveman October 14, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Sort of OT, but on the NES original Nintendo game system, did anyone ever devise a hack on the Duck Hunting game so you could shoot that damn dog when he snickers at you?

CrankyLttlCamperette October 14, 2012 at 5:11 pm

You could in the arcade version, if you had a shot left.

Swampgas_Man October 14, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Then he'd come back up and be all like "OW! SHOOT THE DUCKS, NOT ME!"

As I recall.

Fare la Volpe October 14, 2012 at 3:10 pm

I want [my children] to evolve further than I have.

Good plan, Jasmine: set the bar low.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 14, 2012 at 10:23 pm

Jasmine seems to be lacking a bit when it comes to understanding the timescale of evolution. And the minor detail that individuals don't "evolve".

Then again, homeskooled.

trampndirtdown October 15, 2012 at 12:28 am

Well life moves pretty fast when the earth is only 6,000 years old.

salt_bagel October 14, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Wabbit Season.

a_pink_poodle October 14, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Leviathan and Azmodeous and Ducks pulled themselves out of the darkest depths and laid waste to the cities of man.

seppdecker October 14, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Plus, ducks are notorious moochers. They hang out in public parks paid for with OUR taxdollars, then harass the olds for crusts from their hard-earned sandwiches. That's why that degenerate Ben Franklin wanted them to be named our national bird.

finallyhappy October 14, 2012 at 3:38 pm

And did I mention the squirrels in downtown DC that turned up their squirrel noses at my freshly opened packet of croutons from Cosi- damn elitists. I bet the downtown ducks do the same- we saw quite a few hanging out along the Potomac at Hains Point- I did not offer than any of my sandwich

zumpie October 14, 2012 at 5:40 pm

So if we add these two evil, elisit species tothe list of mooching moochers who mooch off the gubmint, is Mitty now raging at the 48% or 49%????

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Old Ben was considering the Turkey for Our National Symbol too, for a while. What can you expect from someone who was so notoriously besotted with Drink, Lechery and Feasting? He probably was only interested in things he could either eat or fuck and preferably, both.

Chet Kincaid_ October 14, 2012 at 3:27 pm

In the words of '70s Sitcom Catchphrase Comedian Herman Cain: "Aw shucky-ducky!!"

Pragmatist2 October 14, 2012 at 3:33 pm

1) It's "Stone Age" not "stone age"
2) Don't worry about your kids falling behind you as evolved beings. The bar is not set high.
3) "The ducks will get you in the end"???? Gay Duck Libel!

Zé Impressora October 14, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Heloooo

Zé Impressora October 14, 2012 at 3:39 pm

yo soy brasileiro

Geminisunmars October 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

WTD!

Alana October 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

hi
i'm from brazil :S

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 3:40 pm

good afternoon

Joshua Norton October 14, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Another insufferable rightwing pubescent wonderkid sets the wingnut world on fire. Ever notice that the bulk of the people who embrace their ideology don't yet have fully informed brains?

On their plus side, it will be easy for them to just replace Jonathan Krohn's name with hers in their hate mail when she matures and turns into a flaming liberal.

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 3:42 pm

not not

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Oi meus fã voltei

I'm Back

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Cristina is a transvestite

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Follow Me ou eu hackeio esse site

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Nossa que post interessante…

Arkoday October 14, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Homoschooled in Scargill? Figures. BTW, kid: those were NOT real ducks; just dudes wearing duck costumes. Run along now. Uncle Jeb was not hurt by the ducks.

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 3:47 pm

you're crazy in the head?

fuflans October 14, 2012 at 3:45 pm

i don't know, from parts of florida, ancient rome looks pretty damn good.

Alana October 14, 2012 at 3:47 pm

FOLLOW ME, PLEASE

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Se me bloquearem eu encho isso daqui de fakes eu hackeio esse site e jogo um avião conta o Empire State

Chet Kincaid_ October 14, 2012 at 3:58 pm

If you aren't playing a surdo, tapping a berimbau or shaking your buttocks, how can we be sure you're from Brazil?!

TV Máxima October 14, 2012 at 3:59 pm

nossa..

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Nos samos do Brasil sim entra neste site http://tvfoco.pop.com.br/

TV Máxima October 14, 2012 at 4:05 pm
C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Well, can't you read the Sign?

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Você não sabe nada sobre nos

Chet Kincaid_ October 14, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Tenho certeza de que tem a música mais brasileira em minha coleção de música que você faz. Tenho certeza de que sabe mais sobre Capoeira e Candomblé, do que você. Eu provavelmente sabem mais sobre os afro-brasileiros na Bahia, Afro-índios e Zambo do que você, também. Fora isso, eu sou completamente ignorante do Brasil.

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:08 pm

e se você não tiver morrendo de fome como vamos saber que é africano?

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Chupa essa manga

TV Máxima October 14, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Cheguei!!!

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Cade the people here?

Alana October 14, 2012 at 3:50 pm

aqui é site queniano achei q era americano kkkk

TV Máxima October 14, 2012 at 3:50 pm

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk mas eles falam em ingles

Alana October 14, 2012 at 3:51 pm

I am troll
n'll use > kkkkkk > hahahahahahah

GregComlish October 14, 2012 at 4:56 pm

The point Alana is making is that the onomatopoeia "ha-ha-ha" in English is used for laughter while in Spanish and Portuguese in it used to represent the sound that ducks make, kind of like "quack quack" in English.

Either that or she's preparing a zerg rush.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Eu vejo que estamos Depilação brasileira novamente!

Alana October 14, 2012 at 3:52 pm

problem?

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 4:29 pm

No, hairless genitalia don't frighten me at all.

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:36 pm

ordinaria do brasil kkkkkkkkk

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Isso usem o tradutor pra falar com a gente

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Well, it is the polite thing to do.

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:37 pm

é nada, ela que entrou aqui entao que se dane

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 4:52 pm
Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 3:55 pm

The port is the usefulness of the house kkk

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Gente me sigam eu sou do Glee kkkk

Follow Me NOW!

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Falem com a administração de vocês para eles colocarem gifs animar isso aqui

Alana October 14, 2012 at 3:55 pm

haters gonna hate

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 3:55 pm

No nosso site nos brincamos de Big Brother kkkk depois deem uma passada lá

TV Máxima October 14, 2012 at 3:58 pm

eles comentaram muito no TV Máxima, elogiaram bastante a suzana e a novela: http://tvmaxima-br.blogspot.com.br/2012/10/web-no

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 3:58 pm

kkkkkkkkkk mais la n tem ngm

TV Máxima October 14, 2012 at 3:59 pm

ontem tava cheio, veja o link

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Esse site é do Quenia? kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Alana October 14, 2012 at 3:57 pm

no me gusta here haha

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 3:59 pm

You are rude

TV Máxima October 14, 2012 at 4:05 pm

at the moment we are discussing here: http://tvfoco.pop.com.br/tv-foco/novelasemfoco/no

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Eu tava com +3 fiquei com +2 como vc negativam?

TV Máxima October 14, 2012 at 4:07 pm

que curioso

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:11 pm

né kkkk

Chow Yun Flat October 14, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Jessica is a quack.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 14, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Personally, I welcome our gay duck overlords.

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 4:10 pm

The environment has become a bit more tropical in here? Ah, well. Cue the Sergio Mendes while we learn a bit about our guests' culture.

Geminisunmars October 14, 2012 at 4:19 pm

This explains so much.

Biff October 14, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Oh for duck's sake!

Mumbletypeg October 14, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Duck and cover!

glasspusher October 14, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Keep ducking that chicken.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 4:17 pm
gurukalehuru October 14, 2012 at 4:20 pm

You know what ELSE rhymes with duck?

HogeyeGrex October 14, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Orange?

GregComlish October 14, 2012 at 5:00 pm

There once was a duck from Nantucket…

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 6:26 pm

dump truck?

SigDeFlyinMonky October 15, 2012 at 12:14 am

Fup duck.

bikerlaureate October 16, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Fustercluck.

TV Máxima October 15, 2012 at 12:15 am
Toomush_Infer October 14, 2012 at 4:21 pm

She's right to be worried – it starts in kindergarten with Duck Duck Grey Duck – Stay Homeschooled and Classy, Jasmin(e)!

tessiee October 14, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Our kindergarten played Duck, Duck, *Goose*.
Proof, if any were needed, that ducks will get you in the end.

BlueStateLibel October 14, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Oh great, ducks and Brazilians today…

GregComlish October 14, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Unfortunately Sunday afternoon is when the Editors get their Brazillians

Dashboard Buddha October 14, 2012 at 5:44 pm

My neighbor went to a beauty salon and got a Brazillian Duck Wax.

Geminisunmars October 14, 2012 at 7:23 pm

So now your neighbor has a defeathered duck?

UW8316154 October 14, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Just go with it – really, nothing is off topic on *this* thread.

Tommmcatt_Again October 14, 2012 at 4:21 pm

This explains my constant desire for stale bread crusts.

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Sales of Brazilian duck meat to the Middle East have increased 50 percent in the past few years.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 4:30 pm
el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 4:34 pm

É nos jornais. eles não mentem, não é?

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Google translate just can't keep up.

mrblifil October 14, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I have it from a well known authority that Brazilian duck meat is FETUSES!!

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

zumpie October 14, 2012 at 5:45 pm

It and Soylent Green

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 4:30 pm

You guys are a shit

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 4:38 pm

olha que fala seu lixo

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:31 pm

hello baby

mrblifil October 14, 2012 at 4:31 pm

How do you say "AFLAC!" in Portuguese?

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:36 pm

o que é isso aflac kkk

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 4:33 pm
el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 4:40 pm
C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Rio, bebê!

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:45 pm

oh my god! kkkkkk

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Isso é o que disse!

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Cuidado gente essa Bandida não vale 1,99

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:38 pm

cheguei para sambar na terra do tio sam kkkkkkk

PikachuXD October 14, 2012 at 5:00 pm

kkkkkkkkk poderosa kk

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Acreanos tomem cuidado com a Bandida ela trafica pessoas

TV Máxima October 14, 2012 at 4:39 pm

Bandida, vc foi bloqueada do tv foco???

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:41 pm

sim mas eu vou me vingar de todas vcs, me aguardem

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 4:42 pm

kkk sei

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 4:42 pm

o Tv foco esta 100000 vezes melhor

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Q Pena

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm

vlw mas eu volto por cima

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:53 pm

vlw meu amigo

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:53 pm

liberaa pra comentar no mdt sempre

Alana October 14, 2012 at 4:39 pm

olha a prostituta brasileira chegou aqui kkkkkkkkkkkk

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:44 pm

não to vendo a tua mae ordinaria kkkkk

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 4:47 pm

para de fala da mãe das pessoas seu lixo

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:48 pm

a tua é uma vaca kkkkkkkkkkk aqui posso xingar a mae de vcs a vontade

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:52 pm

teu pai aquele velho lixo

Alana October 14, 2012 at 4:48 pm

por isso mesmo, to vendo vc filha da puta

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:40 pm

gente não deem ouvidos a esse povo do brasil, são todos mal educados, sorry

PikachuXD October 14, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Nem todos

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:07 pm

nem todos

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 5:08 pm

And You're a waste

Albydeias October 14, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Foda-se

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:40 pm

I came to warn you all that stupid gringos beware the Bandit because she is a pedophile too precourada in Brazil if she gives her address some of you immediately connect to Interpol

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:43 pm

tudo isso é mentira acreditem em mim eu sofro bullyng dessas pessoas

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:45 pm

É tudo verdade gente ela tem 74 anos e rouba criançinhas

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Alô pessoas.

Alana October 14, 2012 at 4:41 pm

shut up

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Carrossel Carrossel Carrossel, isso vocês não tem, só no Brasil.

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:42 pm

There suspetas that around 10 Bandits kidnapped children in Brazil plus some say that number could be even higher

Beware she also user of black magic

AuroraErratic October 14, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Poe? Is that you?

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:45 pm

cuidado com a bandida prostituta

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Este Poe é o Lairton desde site

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Isso mesmo.

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:43 pm

ordinaria acha que vai me destruir, antes eu te pego kkkkkk

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:44 pm

vira essa boca pra lá vou tirar ss disso e mandar pra poliçia

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:48 pm

manda safada

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Vou mandar meus disgraçado

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:43 pm

Bandida é a maior rata do Brasil

Alana October 14, 2012 at 4:43 pm

aliciadora de menores>bandida
cuidado

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Esse site é tão ruim que nem aceita GIFs, pobreza define.

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 4:47 pm

This is where you come for dick jokes, not GIFs.

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:47 pm

That's ridiculous.

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Piadas aonde???

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Idiot

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 4:54 pm
Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Arrumem o Design desse site sei lá como escreve

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Péssimo mesmo, mal-gosto.

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 4:52 pm

kkkkkkkk

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Oi Gente Sou Do Brasil

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Não se anime, eles nos odeiam.

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:46 pm

bem vinda a terra do tio sam.

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:48 pm

o Quenia fica na Africa sua ignorante

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:50 pm

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk burrice te define

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Não foi eu quem colocou o Tio Sam na historia seu travesti de beira de estrada

Albydeias October 14, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Olha a Travecão atacando o povo.

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Bullying, o vilão da sociedade moderna, fato.

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:46 pm

bandida vc tá ai?

dennis1943 October 14, 2012 at 4:47 pm

The logic is simple,the reasonong sublime"…………

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:47 pm

olá pessoas sou do brasil

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 4:48 pm

OI Gente Saiba que No Brasil o SBT e Divo

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Esse Site e Tao Estranho

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:48 pm

também acho

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Muito, e as pessoas horríveis.

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 4:48 pm

No Brasil tem Carrossel

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Sim, e nos USA não tem.

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Já era de se esperar um site feio assim é da Africa

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 4:52 pm

kkkkkkk

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:49 pm

todo mundo do tv foco aqui

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 4:50 pm

essa _Pagina e so de Brasileiros

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm

sim firme e forte

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Yehhh nós dominamos.

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Americanos comem no McDonalds no café da manhã, almoço e jantar, por isso são gordos, muitos até sebosos.

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:50 pm

credo

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm

É a verdade, vai ver como são no Texas.

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Esse site é do Quenia viu?

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Não importa, os americanos continuam gordos.

Albydeias October 14, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Verdade.

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Aqui e Mais Facio de Ganhar pontos

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Sim, não tem os negativos.

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Gente olhem oque o Gringo falou:

Se você não está jogando um surdo, tocando um berimbau ou balançando suas nádegas, como podemos ter certeza de que você é do Brasil?!

kkk dai eu chamei ele de africano faminto

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 4:54 pm

kkkkk

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Africanos pobres coitados, nem tem o que comer e acham que podem falar de nós.

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:05 pm

nossa que horror

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm

The SBT lives in the hearts of Brazilians

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:52 pm

ratinho? vc aqui?

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 4:52 pm

sim kkk

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:54 pm

nossa kkk

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Of course.

Albydeias October 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Bandit is Delayed

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm

alby? até vc aqui

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Nãooooo

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 4:51 pm
JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:52 pm

NÃOOOO, eles trollam esses blogs, apaga isso.

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:53 pm

apagado

bandida(globo) October 14, 2012 at 4:52 pm

fuck you, byby

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Teu pai

Albydeias October 14, 2012 at 5:00 pm

traveco.

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Esse SIte ta Otimo com agente

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:54 pm

SÓ com a gente, pois os locais são péssimos.

DCBloom October 14, 2012 at 4:53 pm

what are all those kkkkkks about?

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:53 pm

We do not use it anymore.

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:54 pm

não sei falar ingles

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 4:54 pm

are laughs

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Oi amigo me segue?

Arkoday October 14, 2012 at 6:01 pm

It's their online version of 'lol'. Or the Heimlich Manouver being applied.

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:53 pm

SBT é a maior emissora do Brasil

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Me Negativem kkkkkkk
Nao pode

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:54 pm

kkkkkkkkkkkkkk
verdade

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Adorooo

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 4:54 pm

o Brasil e divo

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:55 pm

sim belinha

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:55 pm

Hey africans.

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:55 pm

por que não pode postar gifs?
no mdt pode

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Porque esse avanço ainda não chegou na Africa, coitados.

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:57 pm

sim verdade

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:55 pm

ME SIGAM

FOLLOW ME

E BRS QUE AINDA NÃO ME SEGUEM ME SIGAM VCS TEM OBRIGAÇÃO DE FAZER ISSO!

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:56 pm

por que que agente ta aqui????

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Bandida o Castiel que agora é a Quinn me mandou te xingar de FDP

Bandida sua FDP!

Pronto

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:56 pm

nossa esse site é um lixo e ta dando um pau no tv bosta

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Esse Site e tao pobre

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Avenue Brazil is on fire

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:58 pm

ratinho fala minha lingua

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Avenida Brasil esta pegando fogo kkkk

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:00 pm

kkkkkkkkkkkkkk

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:00 pm

''on fire'' quer dizer outra coisa …

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 5:02 pm

em chamas

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Preparem-se porque a noite eles excluem tudo.

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 4:59 pm

nossa popr que?

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Porque eles nos odeiam, e essa hora estão dormindo, por isso não fazem nada.

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 4:59 pm

É uma frase idiota, nem perca seu tempo.

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Nossa 4 paginas

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 5:00 pm

kkkkkkkk

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 5:01 pm

The KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK Took My Baby Away.

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:02 pm

WE DON'T CARE !!!

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 5:04 pm

jajajajaja!

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:03 pm

se eu entedesse sua lingua

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 5:04 pm
Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 5:05 pm

nao intendi e nao vou pro google tradutor

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:13 pm

nem eu

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 5:07 pm

3

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 5:21 pm
el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 5:35 pm

haha. awesome.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 5:37 pm

I liked it. No feed back from South of the Border, though.

mrblifil October 14, 2012 at 6:05 pm

I love that song because Joey wrote it about Johnny, who stole the love of his life and remained in a band with him. The song describes Johnny's regressive political attitudes, which closely resemble those of the average Hannity listener of Brazilian telenovela fan.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Not a lot of people know that. When I saw 'em at a dive bar in northern NJ you could tell there was Tension between those two. Not when they were playing, though – they were outstanding.

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 5:01 pm

piadas kkk

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:03 pm

nossa

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:01 pm

bandida veio pra ca junto com todos do tv foco

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:01 pm

tv foco ta traçando

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Que divos que nós somos, dominamos o estrangeiro.

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:02 pm

kkkkkk
verdade

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 5:02 pm

ola pessoal do quenia

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:02 pm

oi sr madruga
ps:sou do brasil

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 5:04 pm

De qual tribo vc e?? kkkkkkkk

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:06 pm

tribo do tv foco estrageiro na região

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Bandida desgraçada, exploda-se

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Eles só fazem piadas bestas com os políticos ….

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:04 pm

por que vcs gostam?

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Não gostamos.

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:07 pm

por que comentão aqui??

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Porque somos divos e dominamos a africa para boicotar o tv foco.

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Vocês usam internet roubada né?

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Roubada da França.

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 5:06 pm

kkkkkk

Albydeias October 14, 2012 at 5:07 pm

KKKKKKKKK

Albydeias October 14, 2012 at 5:05 pm

A Bandida se f#deu.

Alana October 14, 2012 at 5:06 pm

love

Alana October 14, 2012 at 5:07 pm

ain voltei hahhaa sambei na fece do wonkette

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Sambamos, brasileiros dominam aqui.

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Ei Bandida, sua vadia, vc foi bloqueada do tv foco??

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:08 pm

sim ela foi

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:08 pm

por que será que ela foi bloqueada

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 5:12 pm

nao to confiando muito nessa historia

Alana October 14, 2012 at 5:08 pm

mulher gato, que site chato n dá nem pra postar gif nesse merda

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Isso que eu falei, pobreza define, tinha que ser da Africa mesmo.

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Tô comendo lasanha #CHUPA

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:08 pm

esse caralho de google tradutor

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 5:09 pm

Ano que vem tem Copa no Brasil e em 2016 tem Olímpiadas hahahaha e vocês?

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:10 pm

eu vou ficar sentado no sofa assistindo tv e comentando aquui

Biff October 14, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Precisa de mais vuvuzela.

johnnyzhivago October 14, 2012 at 5:10 pm

You know what a duck's favorite snack is???

Cheese and quackers.

Why does a duck walk around it's nest after an earthquake???

To checks for quacks in the foundation.

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Oh my God you're so funny, neh ?! '_'

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Cade a Graça???

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Em nenhum lugar.

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Pity poor george, his p number isn't as high as yours.

chascates October 14, 2012 at 5:10 pm

I've taken care of a number of ducks and that they have evolved to their present condition is pretty miraculous. If you're worried about being less evolved than a duck your education has been severely limited.
And our level of intelligence has evolved over 2,000 years, for some of us at least, to the degree not to depend on creation myths to explain the world around us.

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 5:12 pm

hum foi mesmo???

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 5:11 pm
marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:11 pm

tchau

StealthMuslin October 14, 2012 at 5:11 pm

"the ducks will get you in the end."
I see what she did there…

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:13 pm

sou da tribo tv foco estrangeiro na região

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:14 pm

Não, estou falando com os africanos de verdade.

Albydeias October 14, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Voltando pro Tv Foco.

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:15 pm

x2

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 5:19 pm

eu to nos dois

Ratinho_SBT October 14, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Tchau gente

tessiee October 14, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Your move, Miss Teen South Carolina.

tessiee October 14, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Still smarter than Bristol Palin.

tessiee October 14, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Your move, Caiden Cowger.

Zé Impressora October 14, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Boa Noite

Zé Impressora October 14, 2012 at 5:27 pm

hellooo

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Me Positivem

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 5:28 pm

OiOiOi

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Quem Nao Gosta da Bandida Positiva

*Belinha* October 14, 2012 at 5:28 pm

QUem Ama A Bandida Positiva

tessiee October 14, 2012 at 5:30 pm

*sings in seductive voice*
Small and white and young and lovely,
the duck from Ipanema goes walking,
and when she passes, each one she passes goes
quuuaaaaacccckk…

deanbooth October 14, 2012 at 5:35 pm

I wonder if we're on a Brazilian game show, with contestants vying to get the most followers? I bet the audience is all KKKKKK!

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:56 pm

No.

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Are they gone? I was going to ask if monkeys really are a problem in Rio.

zumpie October 14, 2012 at 5:48 pm

It would appear not quite, so you might just still get a reply!

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Jorge is still here, but it's hard to get a straight answer out of him.

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Oh really ?

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 6:03 pm

I don't think Google translates Wonkettespeak very well.

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 6:12 pm

vice versa. Google translate can't make heads or tails out of what they're saying.

zumpie October 14, 2012 at 6:04 pm

Needz moar Brazillian torture! (But I'm not quite sure what that would be)

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 6:09 pm

I think it involves Wax. That's all I know, and all I want to know.

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:50 pm

In Africa, of course.

mrblifil October 14, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Must be "quittin' time." Those sandwich coupons probably fetch a fair rate of exchange in Brazil.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 6:01 pm

I'd like to know if the sheep are really that nervous.

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Sua irmã tá aqui

Biff October 14, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Onde está a Susana? Ela é a única para mim!

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:55 pm

They troll her website, she don't wanna come back again.

Dashboard Buddha October 14, 2012 at 5:44 pm
Biff October 14, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Once upon a time, a duck went into a hardware store. The owner asked if he might be of assistance?
The duck asked, "got any grapes"?

NO, this is a hardware store.

The next day the duck came in and asked "Got any grapes" ?

NO, damn it, this is a hardware store! Next time you come in here asking for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!

Next day, the duck came back and asked "Got any nails"?

Clerk said "No, I ran out."

"Good. Got any grapes?

zumpie October 14, 2012 at 6:21 pm

That would actually be better in Portugese. Cause then I wouldn't have wasted 20 seconds reading it

mrblifil October 14, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Har har mix it up with people from Brazil and suddenly you are visited by people with Obama Sucks avatars and intensedebate handles which rather inelegently include the word Solyndra. Not that I'm contending any of the Attack of the Brazilian Trannies has anything whatsoever to do with the record-setting site hits and comments brought about by the mocking of Paul Ryan. But it would be irresponsible not to speculate…

zumpie October 14, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Hell hath no fury like a butthurt Puggie

glasspusher October 14, 2012 at 10:44 pm

Hah! I had visitors like that long before the brazilians. WTF?

zumpie October 14, 2012 at 5:58 pm

So I'll just hazard a guess that her "information" about Rome is largely "they were fucking homos who fucked and fucked. And this one crazy dude burned it down and that was it". Cause seriously, after they fell, it took Europe until roughly the 1700's to get their shit on the same level.

And obviously L'il Missy could hold her own against Socrates with both hands tied

Also, too, bonus points!!! Miss zumpie, jr, aged 12, is currently studying the Romans at her evil, urban, elitist, arts focused, public magnate school. I just told her about this. Her response was, "wow she sounds really stupid."

fuflans October 14, 2012 at 6:01 pm

this invasion would be hilarious if it were actually, you know, funny.

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Well, we're talking about gay ducks and suddenly, again, are invaded by rather rude Brazilian Glee fans. It may not be funny, but it is kind of a Internet koan.

zumpie October 14, 2012 at 6:06 pm

I'm just jealous that most of them have higher ratings than I do

fuflans October 14, 2012 at 6:09 pm

now THAT was hilarious.

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Sim temos mais pontos que você sambamos na sua cara

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 6:26 pm

yes my friend

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 6:14 pm

At least we econimia seventh in the world and you guys?

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Our economy is the sixth ;)

zumpie October 14, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Um, numero uno! Suck it, bitch!!!

zumpie October 14, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Also, too, that's according to the UN, every other metric places you at 6th. Next time do your homework before you troll, whore!

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 6:16 pm

We're teenagers and we're here just to hang out with the guy of you

Alana October 14, 2012 at 6:16 pm

macacos? na casa de vcs tem varios se é quem me entendem…

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Yes, monkeys! I wanted to know – is it true, or is it just a Simpson's joke?

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Pelo menos temos comida

Alana October 14, 2012 at 6:20 pm

shut up plebeus

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 6:22 pm

They hate Obama. Why ?

Alana October 14, 2012 at 6:27 pm

são preconceituosos pelo jeito, tavam chamando o povo de macaco ali

Dashboard Buddha October 15, 2012 at 12:03 am

are biased by the way, I was singing the monkey people there?

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 6:27 pm

If it walks like a Brazilian Duck and Quacks like a Brazilian duck….

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 6:28 pm

A Brazilian duck walks into a bar….

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Que graça tem isso seu idiota??

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Nenhuma, é lógico. São uns ridiculos.

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 6:37 pm

Qui appelez-vous et idiot, mon ami?

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 6:38 pm

A sua piada.

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 6:44 pm

I guess colloquialisms don't translate very well, do they, mon ami.

snowpointsecret October 14, 2012 at 6:39 pm

And then he said "ouch!" Well, I guess "quack."

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 6:54 pm
HogeyeGrex October 14, 2012 at 8:55 pm

How did you know it was a Brazilian duck?

Doktor Zoom October 14, 2012 at 10:30 pm

No feathers on its cloaca.

snowpointsecret October 14, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Wow, I haven't seen a site get taken over by Brazilians in years. It's almost nostalgic.

Oh, and the people willingly teaching that homosexuality is evil are a bunch of quacks.

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 6:34 pm

That's ridiculous, seriously.

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Ta bom, nao precisa ensinar nada pra gente

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 6:34 pm

We could really use some duck tape around here..

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Romney or Obama for president ?

Geminisunmars October 14, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Sim

Fare la Volpe October 14, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Hillary '08!

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Willie Nelson.

Barrelhse October 14, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Don't change the subject.

Doktor Zoom October 14, 2012 at 10:29 pm

You're saying he's ducking the question?

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Nixon.

BlueStateLibel October 14, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Breaking: Mitt Rmoney just announced that on his first day in office, he will axe Social Security, Medicare and Big Bird, and INVADE BRAZIL.

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 6:41 pm

We'll be waiting honney ;)

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 6:43 pm

The U.S. is bankrupt, if you guys try to invade Brazil vain lose badly, Brazil's the country's future and your country will sink in this financial crisis.

snowpointsecret October 14, 2012 at 6:44 pm

To save money, we'll hire ducks to do it.

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Really ? It combines with your intelligence.

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 6:47 pm

You guys better keep the ducks, because the way it is, you are going to need them to eat.

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Ducks are tasty, no doubt.

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Don't believe the hype, mon ami, we are not broke. It is just lies that Republicans like to tell.

Anne_Athema October 14, 2012 at 6:39 pm

What a quack.

azeyote October 14, 2012 at 6:39 pm

the gay ducks haven't come out yet. but they will – oh yea – they will

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Coming out of where? I would hate to think of ducks in a closet.

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Hmmm. Is Ducks in a Closet the next Snakes on a Plane?

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 6:47 pm

It is called snark. And all comedy requires knowledge of the reference, I'm sure many Americans wouldn't get a joke in Portuguese either.

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Google translator baby ?

Fare la Volpe October 14, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Why are you translating babies? YOU SICK FREAK.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Ah, that's the Wonkette we all know and love.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 8:59 pm

You know what we could use around here? Somebody who's an expert in South American cultures!

Barrelhse October 14, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Mark Sanford?

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Trail Hiker Libel!!1!

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 6:48 pm

osama bin laden for president

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Do Brasil?

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 6:51 pm

No, U.S.

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Sr. Madruga …

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 6:58 pm

que??

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 6:58 pm

ocê nkow * Quem mais * thougth um Dead Guy poderia ser presidente?

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Mickey Mouse

zumpie October 14, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Since it's apparently post stupid shit day, Miss zumpie, jr found this for us http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTSq0LQenBo

Not quite as awesome as butt fucking makes you a duck, but…

Apparently if you are the kids who would NEVER be cheated off of (cause really, play the video and check him out), all the school bullies/your homies will try and cheat during a math test. Ha, like some Xtian school would teach math!!!

Anyway, ultimately, the kid gets a NEW friend, Moses!!! And when his homies appear to kick his ass, there is his new buddy, Anger Management Moses at his side, holding his hand and waving his staff!!!

Cause there are like no double entendres or weird things going on with any this!!! Noooooo

And later the kid becomes popular by waving his bible in the direction of some other kids. Even though one's a negro and another is both an Asian and an ICKY, evil, vile guuuurll

Doktor Zoom October 14, 2012 at 7:14 pm

Invisible patriarchs tend not to be actually visible to bullies. I hope they explain this.

Also, if these are the kid's "friends," he needs to be a bit more selective.

zumpie October 14, 2012 at 7:22 pm

1) Not to mention, wouldn't all the other bullied poindexters wonder why Moses didn't do some ass kicking on their behalf?

2) I'm not sure which is worse: your son's friends are cheating bullies or an old man who holds his hand and beats other kids with a big stick?

3) That school clearly needs some help given all the cheating and recess fighting issues they appear to face.

Lastly, "lift up the staff of the lord"??? This video has more of teh ghey than Kirk Cameron's banana http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z-OLG0KyR4

kittensdontlie October 14, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Thanks. I learned a lot. Keep those staffs lifted up, tall, but don't give into temptation to use it, cause Moses gets the first crack at any stiffing(sic).

zumpie October 14, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Oooh, I almost forgot, the light of the lord is clearly something of a golden shower. Kid better keep his mouth shut

UW8316154 October 14, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Since you are all here, maybe you could share some Brazillian grooming tips?

zumpie October 14, 2012 at 7:08 pm

You know who ELSE liked Brazillian grooming???

Geminisunmars October 14, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Mengele?

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 7:35 pm
gullywompr October 14, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Ernesto Geisel?

LibrarianX October 14, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Duck duck goose

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 7:10 pm

So this guy walks into the doctor's office with this big white duck on his head.

The doctor looks up and says, "Yes, sir, can I help you?"

And the duck says,

"Yeah, can you get this guy off my butt?"

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 7:16 pm

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

fartknocker October 14, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Off Topic: Arlen Spector passed away today. He was PA's longest serving senator and helped in passing the ACA.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/arlen-spec

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 14, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Who the hell signed us up to host these foreign exchange students?

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 7:39 pm

They're lost. Took a wrong turn on the way to Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

Oh. they're at Wonkette and they want us to Respect them.

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 7:45 pm

Oh. they're at Wonkette and they want us to Respect them.

Yeah. The irony of that.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 14, 2012 at 7:59 pm

I show respect by not gunking up their blog with dick jokes and potty humor.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 8:03 pm

That's a good point.

gullywompr October 14, 2012 at 8:59 pm

"I show respect by not gunking up their blog with dick jokes and potty humor."

Right, let's keep this place clean, shall we?

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 14, 2012 at 7:38 pm

Ducks are delicious and I think we should start eating them instead of chicken.

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 7:46 pm

Yeah… they are tasty, but very fatty skin….

glasspusher October 14, 2012 at 10:52 pm

You say that like it's a bad thing

Barrelhse October 14, 2012 at 7:39 pm

"Grasshopper- What is the sound of one duck quacking?"

Geminisunmars October 14, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Does it sound like Portuguese?

HogeyeGrex October 14, 2012 at 8:53 pm

It's all Greek to me.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 8:55 pm

"Fap Fap Fap?"

Barrelhse October 14, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Bad fucking news, Jasmin. Read it and weep, honey. http://ts3.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.4557283187163402&a

Blueb4sinrise October 14, 2012 at 7:46 pm

One hen.
Two ducks.
Three squawking geese.

HogeyeGrex October 14, 2012 at 8:56 pm

And a partridge in a pear tree.

Barrelhse October 14, 2012 at 9:42 pm

And a farm boy with his zipper down. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htFE1CTSBTw&fe

SayItWithWookies October 14, 2012 at 8:27 pm

If she means that there are far too many people procreating with loons, I tend to agree with her.

vtxmcrider October 14, 2012 at 9:53 pm

I, too, have always worried that ducks would get me in the end, until I realized that they have tiny dicks.

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 10:16 pm

Whoa. You're coming late to the thread man. Google duck penis if you want to have nightmares. There's nothing small about them.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 10:36 pm

It's all Fun and Games until you get The Bill.

Negropolis October 14, 2012 at 9:57 pm

New Zealand has always been Australia's not-quite-there cousin. It's out there in "there be dragons" territory, so it takes civilization some time to reach them out there in Middle Earth.

EDIT: Oh fuck a duck, already. The fucking Bazillions are back. Great, just great.

Biff October 14, 2012 at 9:58 pm

It's been an entertaining distraction, but also a detraction.

Negropolis October 14, 2012 at 10:06 pm

ATTENTION WONKETTE:

http://tvmaxima-br.blogspot.com.br/2012/10/web-no

You know what to do.

Tell them your favorite things…with (fists) votes. They asked so nicely, it'd be rude not to repay a favor.

EDIT: Now they are relaying that our Editrix isn't happy with them. lol Yep, they know what they are doing. And, now they are blocking Wonketters from posting over there. Stay classy, Brazilian visitors. Hi Suzana and obrigado!

glasspusher October 14, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Yeah, it seems Suzana has a thin skin when the shoe is on the other foot, she's bitching -google translate: "we are victims of a blog war with Americans". Please. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. Victims, my narrow white ass.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 14, 2012 at 11:13 pm

Aw, commenting is disabled on your linky. No fun.

Biff October 14, 2012 at 11:17 pm

That cunt! And I said such nice things about her, too!

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 10:15 pm

They may want to go over to RedState and hang there. They're showing no interest in what's going on here other than getting a rise out of irritating commenters by filling up the pages with insider jokes and drivel. They may not be overtly hostile, but ethnic slurs and name-calling? Yes, it's there, but that's not coming from the Wonketteers, man.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Well I, for one, was playing them music, snarking in Portuguese and busting their balls back at them. Nothing uncalled for. Nothing Bizarre. It's what we do here.

It's what we've always done here.

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Srsly. I mean I pulled out that Brasil '66 track out of sincere respect for the bossa nova. I love my Brazilian brothers and sisters, and not just because they make great porn. They also make for a classic Simpsons episode.

Nobody did answer my question about whether monkeys are really considered pests in Rio or if that was just a Simpsons' gag.

AbandonHope_ October 14, 2012 at 10:48 pm

I think there's been some of that on both sides — some nice folks, and some jerks. I think it's more of the fact that I see people here painting them all with one broad stroke. I thought that's what the other side is all about, and what we're against.

It's also true that I've always been the "arbitrator" ever since my college days, trying to negotiate a peaceful settlement with both sides of an argument. So when I get branded a troll when I'm just trying to make everybody happy, it just hurts.

Also, this has been a seriously stressful weekend for me, and it frayed my nerves a bit, and I apologize for overreacting.

el_donaldo October 14, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Plus I followed them when they demanded it, but they didn't reciprocate. THEY DID NOT RECIPROCATE.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 14, 2012 at 10:19 pm

She's clearly not aware that ducks aren't actually any smarter than humans.

dopper0189 October 14, 2012 at 10:31 pm

I watched enough cartoons to know that bunnies are smarter than ducks anyways!

glasspusher October 14, 2012 at 11:11 pm

You knew it would pay off, eventually.

fuflans October 14, 2012 at 10:34 pm

I GOT DELETED BY ADMINISTRATOR YOU GUYS!

i am so excited this is better than a having a job.

(i don't really know why tho. probably something to do with our neighbors from the big land south of here.)

glasspusher October 14, 2012 at 11:13 pm

You are so badass.

Paulo H. Amorim October 14, 2012 at 10:35 pm

hello you were speaking ill of Brazil?

Blueb4sinrise October 14, 2012 at 11:00 pm

No. Loved it. deNiro!
kkkkkk

fuflans October 14, 2012 at 10:37 pm

hey does anybody know if albert camus is out of copyright?

i know this is a little OT but the interwebs are somewhat conflicting.

Blueb4sinrise October 14, 2012 at 11:14 pm

I know people who can probably find out tomorrow or soon.

Is it an Existential emergency?
Any work in particular?
Any country? Might matter.

fuflans October 14, 2012 at 11:36 pm

misunderstanding (his only play – i think and hope – no offense to camus lovers, but he's not a fab playwright). it was written in 43, in occupied france (and he was in the resistance). no idea if or where is was copyrighted.

it is an existential emergency only in that i do not have a job and am using this play to hold ennui at bay.

Blueb4sinrise October 15, 2012 at 1:09 am

Will see whether I can get anyone to pause their excruciating schedules to at least find out where to look for a clear answer.

The translation by Christopher Williams ? Or original?
Is it inappropriate to ask what you would do if another translation or the original cr has lapsed?

mille derps October 15, 2012 at 2:23 am

Not his only play- I had to read 'Les Justes' in college.

Looks like Le Malentendu is public domain in the original French since here it is online: http://classiques.uqac.ca/classiques/camus_albert

If you're seeking an English translation, I would guess it would probably be under copyright because: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copyright_Term_Exten

fuflans October 15, 2012 at 9:32 am

whoa that's awesome thank you all so much.

so if i translate myself, it's fair use?

i shouldn't be so hard on camus as playwright. (he's better than james joyce for sure). it's just the philosopher in him bleeds thru and handicaps the playwright.

mille derps October 15, 2012 at 12:21 pm

I'm fairly sure your translation should be fair use, given that the original appears to be in the public domain.

According to the Berne convention, the French original COULD still be copyright-protected, since the wikipedia article above states that European practice is generally 70 years since author's death (2030), but at least 50 years since author's death (2010). So it COULD be, but probably isn't since it's freely available online. A bit murky.

Before you publish or perform your translation publicly, I would do a little more research or seek legal guidance. If you're using your translation for educational purposes, fair use probably has your back, but if you will profit from your translation, fair use may not apply?

At any rate, if there IS any copyright that your translation would violate if performed publicly, my guess is that whoever holds the copyright must first notify you to cease & desist before they can bring legal action against you?

I'm not a lawyer- should I add a disclaimer about 'for entertainment purposes only', or is that just for fortunetelling?

HistoriCat October 15, 2012 at 1:16 pm

I personally prefer the standard internet abbreviation – IANAL … but maybe that's just because of the connection to butt sechs.

mille derps October 15, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Ignore what I wrote above.

If I'd taken the time to read the cute lil' avertissement on the page with the links to the French text, I would have realized it said that the play is in the public domain in Canada, but possibly not in other countries…

Blueb4sinrise October 15, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Well, I guess the gist is : Be careful.

Friend who INAL, but has to deal with cr issues regularly, says:
"You would have to know what French law was when the
play was written to be sure. Under current law the
play would be protected until 2030 as Camus died in
1960 and works are protected in France for the life
of the author plus 70 years. I don’t know when
France went to the life+n framework, but I’m
guessing it was a long time ago and the U.S. was
rare in having a different structure and that
changed in 1978. "

[There is a Wonketeer who is a lawyer in S.F, I believe, but can't remember who it is.]

fuflans October 15, 2012 at 8:26 pm

misstaken maybe?

anyway THANK YOU GUYS – all of you so much!

it's not actually for a production (i was in a production of this last year, which started me thinking). it's actually for a snarky commercial idea to help replace my day job which never seems to last more than 6 months or so.

all v v good to know.

AbandonHope_ October 14, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Okay, look, I'm sorry for going off the handle like that. That was not called for; I've just been under a lot of pressure this weekend.

Look… last night I even tried to make a separate Wonkville story just to steer them out of the thread so they wouldn't bother people like yourself. Check it out yourself. All I have done was try to stay nice to them while trying to get them out of the way of discussion.

Check my post history, if you think I'm a troll. I've been here for months — years, if you count past accounts. All I've done is try to be friendly, and point out to them that maybe this wasn't the right place for them to be making friends, and you come in and bite my head off.

Negropolis October 14, 2012 at 11:00 pm

You know what? Fuck it. Go have your "fun". I'm done. I'll have no part of it. If we'd marched to some random site as rudely as they'd come in here it'd be a different story. They know what they did; you know what they did, but you're going to step on eggshells because why? Because they didn't let on that they are hostile? Really, whatever. I'm not doing the "both sides do it" bullshit, and I'm not going to apologize for being invaded or pussyfoot around what happened (and continues to happen) in here since the other day. Not eveything is an equivalency; not everything requires some kind of measured response.

johnnyzhivago October 14, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Next Sunday is Ukrainian Day.

glasspusher October 14, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Awesome. I know how to swear in Russki.

Blueb4sinrise October 14, 2012 at 11:08 pm

from tvmaxima….

THEY HAVE BECOME Commenting on LA GO DUCKS GAY

kkkkkkkkk

wolvenwood13 October 14, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Actually, there is precedent for ducks ruling the world. Eons ago, the duck-billed dinosaur was at the top of the food chain, or so my biologist husband tells me.

meepmeep09 October 15, 2012 at 1:12 am

Ducks are known to be evil.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7fCx4MQTGgY/Rr5q2JHQYvI

source: http://dschrein.blogspot.com/2008/04/far-side.htm

*Translation of caption of image at that link (Google translator):

Então, o professor Jenkins! … Meu velho inimigo! … Nos encontramos de novo, mas desta vez a vantagem é minha! kkkkkkkkkk!

(I tidied up the last part of Google's translation a bit, based on what I've recently learned here)

smashedinhat October 14, 2012 at 11:32 pm

An invasion by the Men in Black Worm Guys would have been more entertaining.

ElPinche October 14, 2012 at 11:35 pm

At least the home-schooled in NZ believe in some type of evolution. Our home-schoolers think Jesus healed wounded Brontosauruses 7000 yrs ago in Walmart parking lots.

Dashboard Buddha October 14, 2012 at 11:45 pm

I don't know how vtxmcrider knows how ducks have tiny dicks, but I do. When I was growing up in Florida, I lived near a small lakes. Like most lakes in the area, it was infested with a fat, lazy species of duck (Anas trailerparkia). It was a typically slow day and my friends and I were hanging out that the lake. A fat old drake was chasing down a female and we were amazed at the tiny swinging dick this geezer had.

But that's not what's funny. What's funny is that day we saw a duck have a heart attack. Ok, maybe it's not so funny, but try to visualize this from the pov of a 12 year old. Any way, Mallard McTinyswingingdick sets off after the object of his desires. Not willing to come across without making Mallard work for it, she led him on a merry chase around the lake. He'd get close enough to start mounting her when there'd be a flaps of feathers and we'd be off again. This went on for about 1/2 hour until Daisy thought that this dude had the right genes to pass along and let him get down to business. Mallard proudly climbs aboard Daisy when suddenly his head popped up and to the left like he was looking for the source of a loud noise. He held that pose for a heartbeat or two and then, without so much as a tremble or a twitch, he fell off of Daisy in that same stiff pose…his tiny dick flopped over in the mud.

Moments later, an alligator snuffled him and then dragged him back into the lake. This left us pondering the relationship between sex, death, and the circle of life.

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 11:58 pm

That was the most interesting thing that I read all day! No snark either.

Dashboard Buddha October 14, 2012 at 11:56 pm

"I want [my children] to evolve further than I have. "

With any luck, their eyes will start moving from their location near the ears and back to the center of the face where they belong…unless she wants her kids to look like Admiral Ackbar.

SigDeFlyinMonky October 15, 2012 at 12:53 am

Hey, flatfish eye migration is highly evolved. Don't knock it.

Dashboard Buddha October 15, 2012 at 12:00 am

I know I'm late to the lists on this…but doesn't Jasmine come from a country where there are more sheep than people. Just sayin'.

HistoriCat October 15, 2012 at 1:19 pm

And how do you count the hobbits?

el_donaldo October 15, 2012 at 12:06 am

Thanks, but using Google Translate to figure out what you people are saying is giving me a headache. What are you talking about anyway?!? Do you guys get _Breaking_Bad_? Do you have a discussion forum for that? That would be cool.

Pat_Pending October 15, 2012 at 12:16 am

Deth-picable…

mrblifil October 15, 2012 at 12:34 am

It ithn't that I haven't tried. GoodneTH knowth it ithn't that.

BloviateMe October 15, 2012 at 12:45 am

I had an ex-girlfriend who once left the house to go playing golf with her dad. A couple hours later, she came back in tears because she accidentally line drived a shot and it hit one of those pond ducks in the head, and knocked one of it's eyeballs mostly out. I guess it was pretty much mostly on it's way to death, kind of flipping around in circles with an eyeball sort of dangling from it's head.

It's my most interesting duck story that I have, though "interesting" is a vague word.

Confucius say: he who fuck with duck, always get stuck with bill.

Negropolis October 15, 2012 at 1:00 am

Post Novo, y'all! I bring you Avenida Brasil:

http://tvfoco.pop.com.br/tv-foco/globo/para-evita

Give anything you got. Give 'til it hurts. To whom much is given, much is required, and god only knows we have an embarrassment of snark.

mille derps October 15, 2012 at 1:23 am

Any word on whether she is one of Bill Johnson's "daughters"? http://bit.ly/sB5P3u

viennawoods13 October 15, 2012 at 7:25 am

Dear lord. PLEASE make that woman stop smiling.

iburl October 15, 2012 at 2:26 am

O Marteloproibição has the weekends off.

mcrummett October 15, 2012 at 4:27 am

Wow, I'm convinced.

ifthethunderdontgetya October 15, 2012 at 4:50 am

Why a duck?
~

BlueStateLibel October 15, 2012 at 8:25 am

Don't worry, guys, Obama has just authorized those drone strikes on Brazil…

randcoolcatdaddy October 15, 2012 at 9:19 am

Well, if it talks like a duck and walks …. Oh … nevermind….

ttommyunger October 15, 2012 at 9:23 am

Sooooo. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck; it must be straight?

Esteev October 15, 2012 at 9:34 am

We should learn from history and not be stuck with copying ancient behavior

The best argument against organized religion as I have ever heard.

TavariousChinaSmith October 15, 2012 at 9:36 am

The score so far:
Ducks: 1
Jasmin H: 0

DahBoner October 15, 2012 at 10:38 am

Bottom Line: Ducks are more evolved than Homeschoolers

cc423 October 15, 2012 at 11:37 am

I am beginning to think that being "homeschooled" means you are too stupid to cut it in a real classroom.

barto October 15, 2012 at 12:07 pm

This is a novel rhetorical approach, I must say. Using as your main argument a concept that you later disavow completely! Brilliant!

randomsausage October 15, 2012 at 6:49 pm

There is obviously some Three-Days-of-The-Condor-Manchurian-Candidate-Shit going down.

mudsharc October 15, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Ladies and gentleman, the argument is moot. A duck has but one orifice under his/her feathers. Does the girl think that's a better arrangement? We cant really be sure if the duck in question is a transvestite.

Santana Lopez October 14, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Não fala isso pra eles não ficarem com vontade kkkk

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Nem ligo hahahahaha

PikachuXD October 14, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Bandida pq te bloquearam?

marcio ballas October 14, 2012 at 5:09 pm

boicotam o tv foco no meu blog
kkk brincadeira

zumpie October 14, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Oh, DUH!!! (she hangs her head in shame)

Sr. Madruga October 14, 2012 at 6:45 pm

nao intendi

JorgeCavalieri October 14, 2012 at 6:46 pm

Ele disse que você escreve de uma forma coloquial, ou seja, inferior ao de alguém que hoje em dia é considerado do primeiro mundo. Ele é um idiota, nem liga.

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Não, eu disse que era eu que escreveu uma piada em forma coloquial aa. Eu não chamei ninguém de idiota. Eu não chamo nomes de pessoas.

Meu ponto é que você pode não entender o sarcasmo usado neste blog particular.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 7:01 pm

Corrigir!

LibertyLover October 14, 2012 at 7:02 pm

No, I said that it was I that wrote a joke in a a coloquial form. I did not call anyone an idiot. I do not call people names.

My point was that you may not understand the sarcasm used on this particular blog.

HogeyeGrex October 14, 2012 at 8:38 pm

It might seem that he either learned his biology from, or taught it to young Jasmin.

gullywompr October 14, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Well, with all their professors on strike, they have a lot of free time on their hands.

C_R_Eature October 14, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Oh yeah, I forgot – Mommyblog. Sorry.

glasspusher October 14, 2012 at 10:49 pm

All dark meat. Yum.

mille derps October 15, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Good to know- thanks!

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: