kids say the darnedest things

Wise Teen Girl Proves Benefits Of Home-Schooling: Being Gay Turns You Into A Duck

duck attackParents! Have you ever wanted to rip your kids from the dastardly public school system, but worried that your own lack of education (and terrible laziness) would turn your children into raving dolts? Well worry no more, as a website for LGBT people with mental health issues in New Zealand (there really is a home for everyone on the World Wild Web!) points us to the following letter to the editor from 14-year-old Jasmin H., who proves handily that home-schooling your children leads inexorably to wisdom, logic, and insight. Jasmin weaves together a plethora of data points in a tour de force that explains that since the Romans did homo stuff in each other’s butts, evolution proves that being gay makes you compete with ducks, if evolution were a thing which it obviously isn’t. Let us gaze upon it in wonder together, after the jump!

behold the smartitude!Now, we once knew a home-schooled family of the right-wing Christian variety where the children were truly smart, lovely and upstanding, and the mom honestly took her duty to educate them quite seriously. We once paid those kids $5 to feed our dog for the weekend, and they not only did so, but they walked her, they brushed her, and they picked up her poo. Obviously, this was a home-schooling family of righteousness.

And if they’d written a letter to the editor about homosexuality destroying society, which wouldn’t surprise us, it would have made a lot more sense.


About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf
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    1. Lascauxcaveman

      Yeah, this reeks of Flying Spaghetti Monsters and pirates/global temperature increase ratios.

      Not that those aren't real, mind you…

    2. MaxUdargo

      Actually, I think Jasmin is a kindred spirit. Her sense of humor ("the ducks will get you in the end") would fit in well here. Unfortunately, her worldview would not.

      She obviously has pretensions of intellectualism. Let's all hope that leads her to higher education and a few epiphanies, and a healthy sense of snark can overcome many disadvantages.

    3. Jukesgrrl

      I personally believe, that U.S. Americans are unable to understand the dangers of homosexuality because uh, some people out there, in our nation don’t have maps. And uh … I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq, everywhere like such as … and, I believe they should uh, our education over here, in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa, and should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.

    4. joeyjoejoejs

      the lack of laffs since ken left wonkette made me suspicious that rebecca was a humorless 60-year-old pretending to be a one of those hip, sassy 40-somethings. she took this obvious prank letter at face? and then she backed away from insulting home-schoolers? (don't worry everyone, she's a parent and that makes her wise and understanding. i want to be reminded of the fact that she's a parent in every article from now on.) the only reason i've kept on reading this blog is, though the writing isn't funny anymore, at least the articles lead me to a good supply of political death porn, if i can wade through the working mother advice columns, middle-aged woman lettin' loose wine party photos and animated pony images. used to be a great site.

        1. Doktor Zoom

          Not to mention some accidental troll-upfisting (or maybe this one-comment account is going to lead the commenter insurgency that will return Wonkette to being Truly Funny again.

          All I can say is, I am just happy that it noticed my ponies.

          [Zoidberg] Hooray! Someone's paying attention to me! [/Zoidberg]

  1. Omophagist

    The Romans also embraced Christianity as the official religion of their empire, nearly 2000 years have passed, so we should have moved past them. Ipso facto Christianity is exactly the same as two dudes anally fucking.

    1. MrsConclusion

      Plus, how many ducks call themselves Christians? None, is how many! Aren't we as smart as they? I know I am!

  2. Doktor Zoom

    Clearly this young lady doesn't follow the Ig Nobel prizes, at least not the Biology prize in 2003, "for documenting the first scientifically recorded case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck. "

    Also, too, obligatory Garfunkle and Oates link.

    (EDIT: Half a minute behind imissopus, as usual)

    1. sullivanst

      Of course, a long, long time after homosexual necrophilia was first recorded in penguins, even if it was published years in advance of that revelataion. Thanks, censorship.

  3. Doktor Zoom

    Paul Broun is probably going to offer this fine young thinker an internship on the House Science Committee.

    1. Lot_49

      Internship? More like about chief of staff! Her brain hasn't been fouled with public school pseudo-science yet, so she's just what the committee nees

    1. Liberalatchi

      Bless her heart so does she. If she is trying to be pithy she fails in the funneez. Any who you can't say you don't believe in evolution and then hope your children evolve better than the ducks.

  4. ThankYouJeebus

    She, like most evangelical loons, probably believes that great wealth means you have been chosen by god. So explain Scrooge McDuck.

    1. Omophagist

      Died? Or was he murdered by an Obamacare death panel made up of zombie Stalin, Pol Pot, Judas Iscariot, and Darwin?

      1. glamourdammerung

        Died? Or was he murdered by an Obamacare death panel made up of zombie Stalin, Pol Pot, Judas Iscariot, and Darwin?

        Magic bullet.

      1. OneDollarJuana

        Now don't go blaming ducks for this. It's bad enough that they are going to take over the world because homos.

    1. KeepFnThatChicken

      First thing I could think of, but I got here after 592 other precious comments made it furst.

      1. HouseOfTheBlueLights

        You are in for a treat. Definitely look this up. Will not clue you in with a spoiler.

  5. fartknocker

    I have friends who purchase and collect very special game calls for duck hunting. When I have helped them dress the birds after we harvest them, they always sex the animal to determine if its a male or female. Following Jasmin's logic, I understand why we never found any dead gay ducks because they are obviously the prettiest ducks and are very elusive.

    I should inform the Duck Commander down in Louisiana about this as it is an obvious missed business opportunity in the duck call engineering and manufacturing world.

    1. Fare la Volpe

      they always sex the animal to determine if its a male or female

      I think you should determine that before you sex someone, but I'm just old-fashioned I guess.

    2. FeloniousMonk

      I should inform the Duck Commander down in Louisiana about this as it is an obvious missed business opportunity in the duck call engineering and manufacturing world.

      Goddammit, how do you get sprayed beer out of a laptop keyboard? Oh, I am going to have so much fun with this. (I live in Louisiana, and it's going to be a great topic next time I'm eating one of my hunting friends' duck and sausage gumbo.)

    3. vtxmcrider

      Who needs those fancy duck calls? I just put some show tunes on the stereo and turn up the volume. The gay ducks come prancing out of the woods right up to the house.

  6. C_R_Eature

    I think that drawing comparisons between ourselves and ducks is dangerous. What if this girl finds out that she weighs as much as a duck? That proves that she's made of wood, and you know what THAT means?

  7. smokingood

    Well, on the bright side, at least she can read and write in complete sentences. That leaves open the possibility that she might soon be able to figure out that her parents are fucking idiots. It worked for me at least.

  8. Biff

    My fundamentalist nephew's wife was a public schoolteacher. She quit to homeschool their 3 kids. The oldest girl recently came out as a-gasp-Democrat!
    Best laid plans…

    1. viennawoods13

      We had a public schoolteacher in the area whose wife homeschooled their own kids. So… the system was good enough to support the family, but NOT good enough to teach their kids. yeah. Right.

  9. UW8316154

    Of course there is, you know, the argument that if the ghey has been around more than 2,000 years, there must be *something* pretty compelling about it.

  10. ManchuCandidate

    Between the bullshit history, fear of maths and sciences and piss poor logic, these fundie kids should have no problem finding good paying technical jobs in the 21st century.

  11. snowpointsecret

    My road is named after a duck and there's at least one gay person on it. Proof of evolution?

      1. kittensdontlie

        With a quack, quack here and a quack, quack there. Here a quack, there a quack, everywhere a quack, quack.

  12. el_donaldo

    Duck overlords?!? It's about time somebody said something.

    I think you guys have been forgetting your manners.

  13. LibertyLover

    If I were her English teacher, I would have to downgrade her paper for destroying her own premise in the last paragraph. Throughout this missive, she uses evolution to attempt to persuade us that homosexuality is wrong. But then she doesn't believe in evolution.

    All of the duck nonsense, notwithstanding, If you are going to start down one road of reasoning, you have to stick with your initial premise.

  14. valgal2342

    How can she say our level of intelligence should have evolved more then in the next breath say she doesn't believe in evolution? Oh right….ducks. (With apologies to el_donaldo) Home schooling is too hard!!!!!!!! kkkkkkkkkkkkkk

    And I was going to move to New Zealand if Mittens wins. Agggggh! Is there no where on Earth free from the these people?????

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      How can she say our level of intelligence should have evolved more then in the next breath say she doesn't believe in evolution?

      I don't know, but if New Zealand has something roughtly equivalent to FOX News, she's a shoo-in* for a job there in 10 years.

      *Provided she is blonde, or willing to become so.

      1. doloras

        Don't worry. In New Zealand, the religious right are a tiny minority who are laughed at openly in the street. Google "Colin Craig" for examples.

  15. GregComlish

    "the ducks will get you in the end"

    Not if we get them in their end first. Do you see what happens Donald? Do you see what happens when you try to fuck a more evolved species in the ass?

      1. Doktor Zoom

        Best part of the article?

        "Pope's nose redirects here. It may also refer to the license plate light on early Volkswagen Beetles."

        1. glasspusher

          Holy shit. I have owned a dozen beetles (on my last one) and have never heard that. Interesting. Air cooled forever!

  16. Lascauxcaveman

    Now wait a minute here, let's not be too hasty to judge.

    [/ trying to envision how awesome a world controlled by ducks would be]

  17. MiniMencken

    What's with all these stories in the Lamestrean LIEberal media about fourteen year-old girls and education? I see a trend. Time Magazine editors, are you reading this?

  18. mavenmaven

    Keeping in mind that ducks evolved from dinosaurs, it's only a matter of time, really, till they dominate.

  19. coolhandnuke

    The Oregon Ducks have the fiercest, most flamboyant uniforms in College Football. They also have tight ends and wide receivers. And they seem to lick the Beavers every year.
    I rest my case.

  20. C_R_Eature

    You know, while Jasmin has gotten everyone all distracted and worried about the Duck Problem, it's the Cephalopods that will really get you in the end.

    1. finallyhappy

      That is what the Cephalopod experts at NOAA and the Smithsonian tell us in our lectures. Be ready to welcome your GIant Squid Overlords!

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Cephalopods will really get you in the end.

      There's some sort of Japanese porn that proves this. Or so I've been told.

  21. Callyson

    I guess those people who collect wooden ducks have a much more interesting sex life than I ever expected…

  22. angryspittle

    This little dolt is worried about being stuck on the evolutionary ladder but then says she doesn't believe in evolution? There is your advanced logic as taught to home schoolers.

  23. Lascauxcaveman

    Sort of OT, but on the NES original Nintendo game system, did anyone ever devise a hack on the Duck Hunting game so you could shoot that damn dog when he snickers at you?

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Jasmine seems to be lacking a bit when it comes to understanding the timescale of evolution. And the minor detail that individuals don't "evolve".

      Then again, homeskooled.

  24. a_pink_poodle

    Leviathan and Azmodeous and Ducks pulled themselves out of the darkest depths and laid waste to the cities of man.

  25. seppdecker

    Plus, ducks are notorious moochers. They hang out in public parks paid for with OUR taxdollars, then harass the olds for crusts from their hard-earned sandwiches. That's why that degenerate Ben Franklin wanted them to be named our national bird.

    1. finallyhappy

      And did I mention the squirrels in downtown DC that turned up their squirrel noses at my freshly opened packet of croutons from Cosi- damn elitists. I bet the downtown ducks do the same- we saw quite a few hanging out along the Potomac at Hains Point- I did not offer than any of my sandwich

      1. zumpie

        So if we add these two evil, elisit species tothe list of mooching moochers who mooch off the gubmint, is Mitty now raging at the 48% or 49%????

    2. C_R_Eature

      Old Ben was considering the Turkey for Our National Symbol too, for a while. What can you expect from someone who was so notoriously besotted with Drink, Lechery and Feasting? He probably was only interested in things he could either eat or fuck and preferably, both.

  26. Pragmatist2

    1) It's "Stone Age" not "stone age"
    2) Don't worry about your kids falling behind you as evolved beings. The bar is not set high.
    3) "The ducks will get you in the end"???? Gay Duck Libel!

  27. Joshua Norton

    Another insufferable rightwing pubescent wonderkid sets the wingnut world on fire. Ever notice that the bulk of the people who embrace their ideology don't yet have fully informed brains?

    On their plus side, it will be easy for them to just replace Jonathan Krohn's name with hers in their hate mail when she matures and turns into a flaming liberal.

  28. Arkoday

    Homoschooled in Scargill? Figures. BTW, kid: those were NOT real ducks; just dudes wearing duck costumes. Run along now. Uncle Jeb was not hurt by the ducks.

        1. Chet Kincaid_

          Tenho certeza de que tem a música mais brasileira em minha coleção de música que você faz. Tenho certeza de que sabe mais sobre Capoeira e Candomblé, do que você. Eu provavelmente sabem mais sobre os afro-brasileiros na Bahia, Afro-índios e Zambo do que você, também. Fora isso, eu sou completamente ignorante do Brasil.

    1. GregComlish

      The point Alana is making is that the onomatopoeia "ha-ha-ha" in English is used for laughter while in Spanish and Portuguese in it used to represent the sound that ducks make, kind of like "quack quack" in English.

      Either that or she's preparing a zerg rush.

  29. el_donaldo

    The environment has become a bit more tropical in here? Ah, well. Cue the Sergio Mendes while we learn a bit about our guests' culture.

  30. Toomush_Infer

    She's right to be worried – it starts in kindergarten with Duck Duck Grey Duck – Stay Homeschooled and Classy, Jasmin(e)!

    1. tessiee

      Our kindergarten played Duck, Duck, *Goose*.
      Proof, if any were needed, that ducks will get you in the end.

  31. Santana Lopez

    I came to warn you all that stupid gringos beware the Bandit because she is a pedophile too precourada in Brazil if she gives her address some of you immediately connect to Interpol

  32. JorgeCavalieri

    Americanos comem no McDonalds no café da manhã, almoço e jantar, por isso são gordos, muitos até sebosos.

  33. Santana Lopez

    Gente olhem oque o Gringo falou:

    Se você não está jogando um surdo, tocando um berimbau ou balançando suas nádegas, como podemos ter certeza de que você é do Brasil?!

    kkk dai eu chamei ele de africano faminto

    1. mrblifil

      I love that song because Joey wrote it about Johnny, who stole the love of his life and remained in a band with him. The song describes Johnny's regressive political attitudes, which closely resemble those of the average Hannity listener of Brazilian telenovela fan.

      1. C_R_Eature

        Not a lot of people know that. When I saw 'em at a dive bar in northern NJ you could tell there was Tension between those two. Not when they were playing, though – they were outstanding.

  34. johnnyzhivago

    You know what a duck's favorite snack is???

    Cheese and quackers.

    Why does a duck walk around it's nest after an earthquake???

    To checks for quacks in the foundation.

  35. chascates

    I've taken care of a number of ducks and that they have evolved to their present condition is pretty miraculous. If you're worried about being less evolved than a duck your education has been severely limited.
    And our level of intelligence has evolved over 2,000 years, for some of us at least, to the degree not to depend on creation myths to explain the world around us.

  36. tessiee

    *sings in seductive voice*
    Small and white and young and lovely,
    the duck from Ipanema goes walking,
    and when she passes, each one she passes goes

  37. Biff

    Once upon a time, a duck went into a hardware store. The owner asked if he might be of assistance?
    The duck asked, "got any grapes"?

    NO, this is a hardware store.

    The next day the duck came in and asked "Got any grapes" ?

    NO, damn it, this is a hardware store! Next time you come in here asking for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!

    Next day, the duck came back and asked "Got any nails"?

    Clerk said "No, I ran out."

    "Good. Got any grapes?

    1. zumpie

      That would actually be better in Portugese. Cause then I wouldn't have wasted 20 seconds reading it

  38. mrblifil

    Har har mix it up with people from Brazil and suddenly you are visited by people with Obama Sucks avatars and intensedebate handles which rather inelegently include the word Solyndra. Not that I'm contending any of the Attack of the Brazilian Trannies has anything whatsoever to do with the record-setting site hits and comments brought about by the mocking of Paul Ryan. But it would be irresponsible not to speculate…

  39. zumpie

    So I'll just hazard a guess that her "information" about Rome is largely "they were fucking homos who fucked and fucked. And this one crazy dude burned it down and that was it". Cause seriously, after they fell, it took Europe until roughly the 1700's to get their shit on the same level.

    And obviously L'il Missy could hold her own against Socrates with both hands tied

    Also, too, bonus points!!! Miss zumpie, jr, aged 12, is currently studying the Romans at her evil, urban, elitist, arts focused, public magnate school. I just told her about this. Her response was, "wow she sounds really stupid."

    1. el_donaldo

      Well, we're talking about gay ducks and suddenly, again, are invaded by rather rude Brazilian Glee fans. It may not be funny, but it is kind of a Internet koan.

    1. zumpie

      Also, too, that's according to the UN, every other metric places you at 6th. Next time do your homework before you troll, whore!

          1. JorgeCavalieri

            Ele disse que você escreve de uma forma coloquial, ou seja, inferior ao de alguém que hoje em dia é considerado do primeiro mundo. Ele é um idiota, nem liga.

          2. LibertyLover

            No, I said that it was I that wrote a joke in a a coloquial form. I did not call anyone an idiot. I do not call people names.

            My point was that you may not understand the sarcasm used on this particular blog.

          3. LibertyLover

            Não, eu disse que era eu que escreveu uma piada em forma coloquial aa. Eu não chamei ninguém de idiota. Eu não chamo nomes de pessoas.

            Meu ponto é que você pode não entender o sarcasmo usado neste blog particular.

  40. snowpointsecret

    Wow, I haven't seen a site get taken over by Brazilians in years. It's almost nostalgic.

    Oh, and the people willingly teaching that homosexuality is evil are a bunch of quacks.

  41. BlueStateLibel

    Breaking: Mitt Rmoney just announced that on his first day in office, he will axe Social Security, Medicare and Big Bird, and INVADE BRAZIL.

    1. Sr. Madruga

      The U.S. is bankrupt, if you guys try to invade Brazil vain lose badly, Brazil's the country's future and your country will sink in this financial crisis.

      1. LibertyLover

        Don't believe the hype, mon ami, we are not broke. It is just lies that Republicans like to tell.

  42. LibertyLover

    It is called snark. And all comedy requires knowledge of the reference, I'm sure many Americans wouldn't get a joke in Portuguese either.

  43. zumpie

    Since it's apparently post stupid shit day, Miss zumpie, jr found this for us

    Not quite as awesome as butt fucking makes you a duck, but…

    Apparently if you are the kids who would NEVER be cheated off of (cause really, play the video and check him out), all the school bullies/your homies will try and cheat during a math test. Ha, like some Xtian school would teach math!!!

    Anyway, ultimately, the kid gets a NEW friend, Moses!!! And when his homies appear to kick his ass, there is his new buddy, Anger Management Moses at his side, holding his hand and waving his staff!!!

    Cause there are like no double entendres or weird things going on with any this!!! Noooooo

    And later the kid becomes popular by waving his bible in the direction of some other kids. Even though one's a negro and another is both an Asian and an ICKY, evil, vile guuuurll

    1. Doktor Zoom

      Invisible patriarchs tend not to be actually visible to bullies. I hope they explain this.

      Also, if these are the kid's "friends," he needs to be a bit more selective.

      1. zumpie

        1) Not to mention, wouldn't all the other bullied poindexters wonder why Moses didn't do some ass kicking on their behalf?

        2) I'm not sure which is worse: your son's friends are cheating bullies or an old man who holds his hand and beats other kids with a big stick?

        3) That school clearly needs some help given all the cheating and recess fighting issues they appear to face.

        Lastly, "lift up the staff of the lord"??? This video has more of teh ghey than Kirk Cameron's banana

    2. kittensdontlie

      Thanks. I learned a lot. Keep those staffs lifted up, tall, but don't give into temptation to use it, cause Moses gets the first crack at any stiffing(sic).

      1. zumpie

        Oooh, I almost forgot, the light of the lord is clearly something of a golden shower. Kid better keep his mouth shut

  44. LibertyLover

    So this guy walks into the doctor's office with this big white duck on his head.

    The doctor looks up and says, "Yes, sir, can I help you?"

    And the duck says,

    "Yeah, can you get this guy off my butt?"

    1. C_R_Eature

      They're lost. Took a wrong turn on the way to Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

      Oh. they're at Wonkette and they want us to Respect them.

          1. gullywompr

            "I show respect by not gunking up their blog with dick jokes and potty humor."

            Right, let's keep this place clean, shall we?

  45. vtxmcrider

    I, too, have always worried that ducks would get me in the end, until I realized that they have tiny dicks.

    1. el_donaldo

      Whoa. You're coming late to the thread man. Google duck penis if you want to have nightmares. There's nothing small about them.

  46. Negropolis

    New Zealand has always been Australia's not-quite-there cousin. It's out there in "there be dragons" territory, so it takes civilization some time to reach them out there in Middle Earth.

    EDIT: Oh fuck a duck, already. The fucking Bazillions are back. Great, just great.

  47. Negropolis


    You know what to do.

    Tell them your favorite things…with (fists) votes. They asked so nicely, it'd be rude not to repay a favor.

    EDIT: Now they are relaying that our Editrix isn't happy with them. lol Yep, they know what they are doing. And, now they are blocking Wonketters from posting over there. Stay classy, Brazilian visitors. Hi Suzana and obrigado!

    1. glasspusher

      Yeah, it seems Suzana has a thin skin when the shoe is on the other foot, she's bitching -google translate: "we are victims of a blog war with Americans". Please. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. Victims, my narrow white ass.

  48. el_donaldo

    They may want to go over to RedState and hang there. They're showing no interest in what's going on here other than getting a rise out of irritating commenters by filling up the pages with insider jokes and drivel. They may not be overtly hostile, but ethnic slurs and name-calling? Yes, it's there, but that's not coming from the Wonketteers, man.

    1. C_R_Eature

      Well I, for one, was playing them music, snarking in Portuguese and busting their balls back at them. Nothing uncalled for. Nothing Bizarre. It's what we do here.

      It's what we've always done here.

      1. el_donaldo

        Srsly. I mean I pulled out that Brasil '66 track out of sincere respect for the bossa nova. I love my Brazilian brothers and sisters, and not just because they make great porn. They also make for a classic Simpsons episode.

        Nobody did answer my question about whether monkeys are really considered pests in Rio or if that was just a Simpsons' gag.

    2. AbandonHope_

      I think there's been some of that on both sides — some nice folks, and some jerks. I think it's more of the fact that I see people here painting them all with one broad stroke. I thought that's what the other side is all about, and what we're against.

      It's also true that I've always been the "arbitrator" ever since my college days, trying to negotiate a peaceful settlement with both sides of an argument. So when I get branded a troll when I'm just trying to make everybody happy, it just hurts.

      Also, this has been a seriously stressful weekend for me, and it frayed my nerves a bit, and I apologize for overreacting.

  49. fuflans


    i am so excited this is better than a having a job.

    (i don't really know why tho. probably something to do with our neighbors from the big land south of here.)

    1. Blueb4sinrise

      I know people who can probably find out tomorrow or soon.

      Is it an Existential emergency?
      Any work in particular?
      Any country? Might matter.

      1. fuflans

        misunderstanding (his only play – i think and hope – no offense to camus lovers, but he's not a fab playwright). it was written in 43, in occupied france (and he was in the resistance). no idea if or where is was copyrighted.

        it is an existential emergency only in that i do not have a job and am using this play to hold ennui at bay.

        1. Blueb4sinrise

          Will see whether I can get anyone to pause their excruciating schedules to at least find out where to look for a clear answer.

          The translation by Christopher Williams ? Or original?
          Is it inappropriate to ask what you would do if another translation or the original cr has lapsed?

      1. fuflans

        whoa that's awesome thank you all so much.

        so if i translate myself, it's fair use?

        i shouldn't be so hard on camus as playwright. (he's better than james joyce for sure). it's just the philosopher in him bleeds thru and handicaps the playwright.

        1. mille derps

          I'm fairly sure your translation should be fair use, given that the original appears to be in the public domain.

          According to the Berne convention, the French original COULD still be copyright-protected, since the wikipedia article above states that European practice is generally 70 years since author's death (2030), but at least 50 years since author's death (2010). So it COULD be, but probably isn't since it's freely available online. A bit murky.

          Before you publish or perform your translation publicly, I would do a little more research or seek legal guidance. If you're using your translation for educational purposes, fair use probably has your back, but if you will profit from your translation, fair use may not apply?

          At any rate, if there IS any copyright that your translation would violate if performed publicly, my guess is that whoever holds the copyright must first notify you to cease & desist before they can bring legal action against you?

          I'm not a lawyer- should I add a disclaimer about 'for entertainment purposes only', or is that just for fortunetelling?

          1. HistoriCat

            I personally prefer the standard internet abbreviation – IANAL … but maybe that's just because of the connection to butt sechs.

        2. mille derps

          Ignore what I wrote above.

          If I'd taken the time to read the cute lil' avertissement on the page with the links to the French text, I would have realized it said that the play is in the public domain in Canada, but possibly not in other countries…

    2. Blueb4sinrise

      Well, I guess the gist is : Be careful.

      Friend who INAL, but has to deal with cr issues regularly, says:
      "You would have to know what French law was when the
      play was written to be sure. Under current law the
      play would be protected until 2030 as Camus died in
      1960 and works are protected in France for the life
      of the author plus 70 years. I don’t know when
      France went to the life+n framework, but I’m
      guessing it was a long time ago and the U.S. was
      rare in having a different structure and that
      changed in 1978. "

      [There is a Wonketeer who is a lawyer in S.F, I believe, but can't remember who it is.]

      1. fuflans

        misstaken maybe?

        anyway THANK YOU GUYS – all of you so much!

        it's not actually for a production (i was in a production of this last year, which started me thinking). it's actually for a snarky commercial idea to help replace my day job which never seems to last more than 6 months or so.

        all v v good to know.

  50. AbandonHope_

    Okay, look, I'm sorry for going off the handle like that. That was not called for; I've just been under a lot of pressure this weekend.

    Look… last night I even tried to make a separate Wonkville story just to steer them out of the thread so they wouldn't bother people like yourself. Check it out yourself. All I have done was try to stay nice to them while trying to get them out of the way of discussion.

    Check my post history, if you think I'm a troll. I've been here for months — years, if you count past accounts. All I've done is try to be friendly, and point out to them that maybe this wasn't the right place for them to be making friends, and you come in and bite my head off.

    1. Negropolis

      You know what? Fuck it. Go have your "fun". I'm done. I'll have no part of it. If we'd marched to some random site as rudely as they'd come in here it'd be a different story. They know what they did; you know what they did, but you're going to step on eggshells because why? Because they didn't let on that they are hostile? Really, whatever. I'm not doing the "both sides do it" bullshit, and I'm not going to apologize for being invaded or pussyfoot around what happened (and continues to happen) in here since the other day. Not eveything is an equivalency; not everything requires some kind of measured response.

  51. wolvenwood13

    Actually, there is precedent for ducks ruling the world. Eons ago, the duck-billed dinosaur was at the top of the food chain, or so my biologist husband tells me.

  52. ElPinche

    At least the home-schooled in NZ believe in some type of evolution. Our home-schoolers think Jesus healed wounded Brontosauruses 7000 yrs ago in Walmart parking lots.

  53. Dashboard Buddha

    I don't know how vtxmcrider knows how ducks have tiny dicks, but I do. When I was growing up in Florida, I lived near a small lakes. Like most lakes in the area, it was infested with a fat, lazy species of duck (Anas trailerparkia). It was a typically slow day and my friends and I were hanging out that the lake. A fat old drake was chasing down a female and we were amazed at the tiny swinging dick this geezer had.

    But that's not what's funny. What's funny is that day we saw a duck have a heart attack. Ok, maybe it's not so funny, but try to visualize this from the pov of a 12 year old. Any way, Mallard McTinyswingingdick sets off after the object of his desires. Not willing to come across without making Mallard work for it, she led him on a merry chase around the lake. He'd get close enough to start mounting her when there'd be a flaps of feathers and we'd be off again. This went on for about 1/2 hour until Daisy thought that this dude had the right genes to pass along and let him get down to business. Mallard proudly climbs aboard Daisy when suddenly his head popped up and to the left like he was looking for the source of a loud noise. He held that pose for a heartbeat or two and then, without so much as a tremble or a twitch, he fell off of Daisy in that same stiff pose…his tiny dick flopped over in the mud.

    Moments later, an alligator snuffled him and then dragged him back into the lake. This left us pondering the relationship between sex, death, and the circle of life.

  54. Dashboard Buddha

    "I want [my children] to evolve further than I have. "

    With any luck, their eyes will start moving from their location near the ears and back to the center of the face where they belong…unless she wants her kids to look like Admiral Ackbar.

  55. Dashboard Buddha

    I know I'm late to the lists on this…but doesn't Jasmine come from a country where there are more sheep than people. Just sayin'.

  56. el_donaldo

    Thanks, but using Google Translate to figure out what you people are saying is giving me a headache. What are you talking about anyway?!? Do you guys get _Breaking_Bad_? Do you have a discussion forum for that? That would be cool.

  57. BloviateMe

    I had an ex-girlfriend who once left the house to go playing golf with her dad. A couple hours later, she came back in tears because she accidentally line drived a shot and it hit one of those pond ducks in the head, and knocked one of it's eyeballs mostly out. I guess it was pretty much mostly on it's way to death, kind of flipping around in circles with an eyeball sort of dangling from it's head.

    It's my most interesting duck story that I have, though "interesting" is a vague word.

    Confucius say: he who fuck with duck, always get stuck with bill.

  58. ttommyunger

    Sooooo. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck; it must be straight?

  59. Esteev

    We should learn from history and not be stuck with copying ancient behavior

    The best argument against organized religion as I have ever heard.

  60. cc423

    I am beginning to think that being "homeschooled" means you are too stupid to cut it in a real classroom.

  61. barto

    This is a novel rhetorical approach, I must say. Using as your main argument a concept that you later disavow completely! Brilliant!

  62. mudsharc

    Ladies and gentleman, the argument is moot. A duck has but one orifice under his/her feathers. Does the girl think that's a better arrangement? We cant really be sure if the duck in question is a transvestite.

Comments are closed.