kids say the darnedest things

Wise Teen Girl Proves Benefits Of Home-Schooling: Being Gay Turns You Into A Duck

duck attackParents! Have you ever wanted to rip your kids from the dastardly public school system, but worried that your own lack of education (and terrible laziness) would turn your children into raving dolts? Well worry no more, as a website for LGBT people with mental health issues in New Zealand (there really is a home for everyone on the World Wild Web!) points us to the following letter to the editor from 14-year-old Jasmin H., who proves handily that home-schooling your children leads inexorably to wisdom, logic, and insight. Jasmin weaves together a plethora of data points in a tour de force that explains that since the Romans did homo stuff in each other’s butts, evolution proves that being gay makes you compete with ducks, if evolution were a thing which it obviously isn’t. Let us gaze upon it in wonder together, after the jump!

behold the smartitude!Now, we once knew a home-schooled family of the right-wing Christian variety where the children were truly smart, lovely and upstanding, and the mom honestly took her duty to educate them quite seriously. We once paid those kids $5 to feed our dog for the weekend, and they not only did so, but they walked her, they brushed her, and they picked up her poo. Obviously, this was a home-schooling family of righteousness.

And if they’d written a letter to the editor about homosexuality destroying society, which wouldn’t surprise us, it would have made a lot more sense.

[BiPolarBear]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • nounverb911

    Daffy or Donald Duck?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    I strongly suspect that newspaper was punked, because that is rather too hilarious.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Yeah, this reeks of Flying Spaghetti Monsters and pirates/global temperature increase ratios.

      Not that those aren't real, mind you…

    • http://www.udargo.com MaxUdargo

      Actually, I think Jasmin is a kindred spirit. Her sense of humor ("the ducks will get you in the end") would fit in well here. Unfortunately, her worldview would not.

      She obviously has pretensions of intellectualism. Let's all hope that leads her to higher education and a few epiphanies, and a healthy sense of snark can overcome many disadvantages.

      • miss_grundy

        Or else she will wind up like that puppy, Paul Lyin' Ryan and that would be a shame.

    • finette_

      "All being equal, with ducks more equal than us" sounds like someone who knows her Orwell.

      • pigdog2

        .. and "get you in the end" is a little too neat.

        Nicely done, though.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Isn't that more "goose" than "duck"?

      • frostbitefalls

        She mighta read "Animal Farm." I think it's popular with the anti-Communist crowd.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Yeah, but she actually, you know, got it. That's not supposed to happen in Teabaggistan.

    • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

      Read this yesterday on PZ Myers site and he has some annotations for her letter. http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2012/10/13

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I personally believe, that U.S. Americans are unable to understand the dangers of homosexuality because uh, some people out there, in our nation don’t have maps. And uh … I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq, everywhere like such as … and, I believe they should uh, our education over here, in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa, and should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.

      • NellCote71

        Sarah, is that you?

        • sullivanst

          Caitlin Upton, bien sur.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          No, it's Miss South Carolina.But a plausible guess.

    • joeyjoejoejs

      the lack of laffs since ken left wonkette made me suspicious that rebecca was a humorless 60-year-old pretending to be a one of those hip, sassy 40-somethings. she took this obvious prank letter at face? and then she backed away from insulting home-schoolers? (don't worry everyone, she's a parent and that makes her wise and understanding. i want to be reminded of the fact that she's a parent in every article from now on.) the only reason i've kept on reading this blog is, though the writing isn't funny anymore, at least the articles lead me to a good supply of political death porn, if i can wade through the working mother advice columns, middle-aged woman lettin' loose wine party photos and animated pony images. used to be a great site.

      • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

        Also, the quality of the average comment on this blog took a massive nosedive, roughly 17 hours ago.

        Weird.

        • Doktor Zoom

          Not to mention some accidental troll-upfisting (or maybe this one-comment account is going to lead the commenter insurgency that will return Wonkette to being Truly Funny again.

          All I can say is, I am just happy that it noticed my ponies.

          [Zoidberg] Hooray! Someone's paying attention to me! [/Zoidberg]

  • Omophagist

    The Romans also embraced Christianity as the official religion of their empire, nearly 2000 years have passed, so we should have moved past them. Ipso facto Christianity is exactly the same as two dudes anally fucking.

    • mavenmaven

      Dove libel!

    • Fare la Volpe

      Now that's a religion I can get behind!

      • vulpes82

        Funny, I would have pegged you (heh) for a bottom!

    • tracyhasfun

      I like it. But, logic? I'm confident our lil letter writer has not been skooled in it.

    • tessiee

      Also, the song "Tutti Frutti".

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      o loko +59

    • FeloniousMonk

      Or, indeed, two ducks anally feuding.

    • TheMightyHaltor

      There are at least a few priests who would agree with you.

    • MrsConclusion

      Plus, how many ducks call themselves Christians? None, is how many! Aren't we as smart as they? I know I am!

  • CrunchyKnee

    Aflac libelz!

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Obviously someone has been watching this classic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXPcBI4CJc8

    • finette_

      Yay, I was going to post that if no one else had!

  • Doktor Zoom

    Clearly this young lady doesn't follow the Ig Nobel prizes, at least not the Biology prize in 2003, "for documenting the first scientifically recorded case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck. "

    Also, too, obligatory Garfunkle and Oates link.

    (EDIT: Half a minute behind imissopus, as usual)

    • sullivanst

      Of course, a long, long time after homosexual necrophilia was first recorded in penguins, even if it was published years in advance of that revelataion. Thanks, censorship.

  • Lucidamente1

    Jasmin H., you're dethpicable.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Paul Broun is probably going to offer this fine young thinker an internship on the House Science Committee.

    • Lot_49

      Internship? More like about chief of staff! Her brain hasn't been fouled with public school pseudo-science yet, so she's just what the committee nees

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      And the Congressional Prayer Caucus. Because the two go really well together.

  • rocktonsam

    I haz a confused

    • Liberalatchi

      Bless her heart so does she. If she is trying to be pithy she fails in the funneez. Any who you can't say you don't believe in evolution and then hope your children evolve better than the ducks.

  • Warpde

    Quake……quake quake quake?
    Quake quake quake…….QUAKE!!!
    Aflac, quack.

  • ThankYouJeebus

    She, like most evangelical loons, probably believes that great wealth means you have been chosen by god. So explain Scrooge McDuck.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Isn't homeschooling so quaint? you never know what'll come out of it, but ducks inheriting the earth, sigh.

  • rocktonsam

    Arlen Spector died

    • Omophagist

      Died? Or was he murdered by an Obamacare death panel made up of zombie Stalin, Pol Pot, Judas Iscariot, and Darwin?

      • zumpie

        What, no Kim Jong Il????

      • glamourdammerung

        Died? Or was he murdered by an Obamacare death panel made up of zombie Stalin, Pol Pot, Judas Iscariot, and Darwin?

        Magic bullet.

    • Mittaplasia

      Was he bitten to death by ducks?

      • OneDollarJuana

        Now don't go blaming ducks for this. It's bad enough that they are going to take over the world because homos.

    • bauserdotcom

      Nobody cares.

    • Lot_49

      And all he wanted was to get RE-EE-LECT-ED.

      That and one night alone with Anita Hill.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      More importantly, is there such a thing as a Brazilian banhammer?

    • Veritas78

      How can they tell?

      • FeloniousMonk

        He had an erection. (Somebody had to say it, since Benchley's not around.)

    • C_R_Eature

      I heard it was the Avian Flew.

    • Steverino247

      Was there a magic bullet involved? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Single_bullet_theory

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Fuck a duck.

    • KeepFnThatChicken

      First thing I could think of, but I got here after 592 other precious comments made it furst.

  • OzoneTom

    I wonder if her home-schooling taught her about the size of duck wangs.

    • Biff

      This matters, what with the ducks getting us in the end and all.

    • LibertyLover

      Hmmm.. I have just realized that I have never seen a Duck wang.

      • HouseOfTheBlueLights

        You are in for a treat. Definitely look this up. Will not clue you in with a spoiler.

        • HogeyeGrex
          • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

            Well!
            Isabella!

          • LibertyLover

            Is this what Todd Akin meant?

          • HogeyeGrex

            It might seem that he either learned his biology from, or taught it to young Jasmin.

      • Callyson

        I tried to resist, I really did…

        Duck Penis

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLXvojn5ZQ0&fe

        • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

          Gah! Thanks a lot, Cally. I going to haz teh nightmarez.

        • Anne_Athema

          OMG! Duck rape!!!

        • HogeyeGrex

          LOLrotini

    • Mittaplasia

      I'm thinking that mom "ducked" that question.

    • C_R_Eature

      Duck Wang would be a great Chinese Restaurant name.

      • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

        I thought Duck Wang played second base for the Inchon Pirates.

        • C_R_Eature

          No, that was Dirk Wong. He was traded to the Formosa Buccaneers in '78.

    • unclejeems

      Ducks have two wangs–don't they?

      • glasspusher

        Some lizards do. They are called hemipenes, I kid you not.

    • Bonzos_Bed_Time

      Long Duck Dong

  • fartknocker

    I have friends who purchase and collect very special game calls for duck hunting. When I have helped them dress the birds after we harvest them, they always sex the animal to determine if its a male or female. Following Jasmin's logic, I understand why we never found any dead gay ducks because they are obviously the prettiest ducks and are very elusive.

    I should inform the Duck Commander down in Louisiana about this as it is an obvious missed business opportunity in the duck call engineering and manufacturing world.

    • Fare la Volpe

      they always sex the animal to determine if its a male or female

      I think you should determine that before you sex someone, but I'm just old-fashioned I guess.

      • PubOption

        Not sure about drunks in Thailand.

        • Doktor Zoom

          I get my kicks above the waistline, Sunshine.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      Gay ducks don't have calls — they just wear a bandanna in their back pocket and you have to know the code.

    • C_R_Eature

      You know, almost all ducks exhibit visible sexual dimorphism, so I suspect your friends are Sexing the ducks just for fun.

      • Negropolis

        This. lol

    • FeloniousMonk

      I should inform the Duck Commander down in Louisiana about this as it is an obvious missed business opportunity in the duck call engineering and manufacturing world.

      Goddammit, how do you get sprayed beer out of a laptop keyboard? Oh, I am going to have so much fun with this. (I live in Louisiana, and it's going to be a great topic next time I'm eating one of my hunting friends' duck and sausage gumbo.)

    • vtxmcrider

      Who needs those fancy duck calls? I just put some show tunes on the stereo and turn up the volume. The gay ducks come prancing out of the woods right up to the house.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        But when you're deep in the woods, you need a duck call that can play Cole Porter.

  • C_R_Eature

    I think that drawing comparisons between ourselves and ducks is dangerous. What if this girl finds out that she weighs as much as a duck? That proves that she's made of wood, and you know what THAT means?

    • Biff

      Splinters, obvs.

    • Mittaplasia

      She turned me into a newt but I got better. Burn her, anyway!

    • LibertyLover

      Someone will put a fake cone nose on her and try to burn her at the stake?

    • MosesInvests

      Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?

  • smokingood

    Well, on the bright side, at least she can read and write in complete sentences. That leaves open the possibility that she might soon be able to figure out that her parents are fucking idiots. It worked for me at least.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Hope springs eternal.

  • Biff

    My fundamentalist nephew's wife was a public schoolteacher. She quit to homeschool their 3 kids. The oldest girl recently came out as a-gasp-Democrat!
    Best laid plans…

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      That's a coming out that calls for its own pride festival. At least take her out to dinner.

    • viennawoods13

      We had a public schoolteacher in the area whose wife homeschooled their own kids. So… the system was good enough to support the family, but NOT good enough to teach their kids. yeah. Right.

  • Mittaplasia

    What the duck????

  • smashedinhat

    Sigh…I blame rap music.

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      Disco….Disco Duck

    • Ratinho_SBT

      pop

  • LibertyLover

    Clearly this child has been reading Beka books.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Is our children competing with ducks?

  • UW8316154

    Of course there is, you know, the argument that if the ghey has been around more than 2,000 years, there must be *something* pretty compelling about it.

    • LibertyLover

      That's IT! Heterosexuality produces homosexuals! This must be stopped right away!

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Between the bullshit history, fear of maths and sciences and piss poor logic, these fundie kids should have no problem finding good paying technical jobs in the 21st century.

    • Dr. Nick Riviera

      They WOULD except for Affirmative Action!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Restaurant Grease Trap Maintenance is a burgeoning field.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Jasmin is a fine stripper name.

    • Redgyal

      You would be amazed how well they do in the corporate world.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        And GOP politics.

  • snowpointsecret

    My road is named after a duck and there's at least one gay person on it. Proof of evolution?

  • mbobier

    Competing with ducks was where the ancient Romans went wrong.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Romans never could get down.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      Well…it was Geese that saved ancient rome once.

      • SigDeFlyinMonky

        But…. Do geese see God?

  • SexySmurf

    I, for one, welcome our new duck overlords.

    • el_donaldo

      Thank you.

      • kittensdontlie

        With a quack, quack here and a quack, quack there. Here a quack, there a quack, everywhere a quack, quack.

  • el_donaldo

    Duck overlords?!? It's about time somebody said something.

    I think you guys have been forgetting your manners.

    • tessiee

      *offers snack tray of cracked corn*

  • LibertyLover

    If I were her English teacher, I would have to downgrade her paper for destroying her own premise in the last paragraph. Throughout this missive, she uses evolution to attempt to persuade us that homosexuality is wrong. But then she doesn't believe in evolution.

    All of the duck nonsense, notwithstanding, If you are going to start down one road of reasoning, you have to stick with your initial premise.

  • valgal2342

    How can she say our level of intelligence should have evolved more then in the next breath say she doesn't believe in evolution? Oh right….ducks. (With apologies to el_donaldo) Home schooling is too hard!!!!!!!! kkkkkkkkkkkkkk

    And I was going to move to New Zealand if Mittens wins. Agggggh! Is there no where on Earth free from the these people?????

    • Lascauxcaveman

      How can she say our level of intelligence should have evolved more then in the next breath say she doesn't believe in evolution?

      I don't know, but if New Zealand has something roughtly equivalent to FOX News, she's a shoo-in* for a job there in 10 years.

      *Provided she is blonde, or willing to become so.

      • doloras

        Don't worry. In New Zealand, the religious right are a tiny minority who are laughed at openly in the street. Google "Colin Craig" for examples.

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      cad um que aparece

  • LibertyLover

    Dear Jasmine H,

    Ducks ALWAYS get you in the end.

    Regards,
    LL

  • GregComlish

    "the ducks will get you in the end"

    Not if we get them in their end first. Do you see what happens Donald? Do you see what happens when you try to fuck a more evolved species in the ass?

    • el_donaldo

      Speaking of ducks' asses, now that we're in charge, humans will need to learn all about the pygostyle.

      • el_donaldo

        opp opp opp.

        • HogeyeGrex

          Oppan Pygostyle?

          • GregComlish

            "You don't love me. You just love my Pygostyle."

      • Doktor Zoom

        Best part of the article?

        "Pope's nose redirects here. It may also refer to the license plate light on early Volkswagen Beetles."

      • HistoriCat

        I don't see that going as viral as Gangnam style.

    • http://grandpaboy.blogspot.com/ seppdecker

      Is it like what happens when you try to friend a stranger in the Alps?

      • Biff

        You mean like yodeling in the valley?

    • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

      Well, fuck a duck.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Now wait a minute here, let's not be too hasty to judge.

    [/ trying to envision how awesome a world controlled by ducks would be]

    • el_donaldo

      Well, for starters, instead of complicated relationships, we'll have complicated genitalia.

      • Anne_Athema

        Aren't cloacas less complicated?

    • Swampgas_Man

      You would be FORCED to cast your bread upon the waters.

  • MiniMencken

    What's with all these stories in the Lamestrean LIEberal media about fourteen year-old girls and education? I see a trend. Time Magazine editors, are you reading this?

  • DrunkIrishman

    Duck you, Jasmin.

  • bumfug

    A duck getting you in the end is more properly called "bestiality", not "homosexuality".

  • mavenmaven

    Keeping in mind that ducks evolved from dinosaurs, it's only a matter of time, really, till they dominate.

  • coolhandnuke

    The Oregon Ducks have the fiercest, most flamboyant uniforms in College Football. They also have tight ends and wide receivers. And they seem to lick the Beavers every year.
    I rest my case.

    • Biff

      Wait a minute–that's not gay at all!

  • C_R_Eature

    You know, while Jasmin has gotten everyone all distracted and worried about the Duck Problem, it's the Cephalopods that will really get you in the end.

    • finallyhappy

      That is what the Cephalopod experts at NOAA and the Smithsonian tell us in our lectures. Be ready to welcome your GIant Squid Overlords!

      • C_R_Eature

        Cthulhu fhtagn!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Cephalopods will really get you in the end.

      There's some sort of Japanese porn that proves this. Or so I've been told.

  • Callyson

    I guess those people who collect wooden ducks have a much more interesting sex life than I ever expected…

  • angryspittle

    This little dolt is worried about being stuck on the evolutionary ladder but then says she doesn't believe in evolution? There is your advanced logic as taught to home schoolers.

  • MonkeyMotion

    I see a bright future for this kid…at Chik-Fil-A.

  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    Sadly it"a not duck season, but wabbit season

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Sort of OT, but on the NES original Nintendo game system, did anyone ever devise a hack on the Duck Hunting game so you could shoot that damn dog when he snickers at you?

    • CrankyLttlCamperette

      You could in the arcade version, if you had a shot left.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Then he'd come back up and be all like "OW! SHOOT THE DUCKS, NOT ME!"

        As I recall.

  • Fare la Volpe

    I want [my children] to evolve further than I have.

    Good plan, Jasmine: set the bar low.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Jasmine seems to be lacking a bit when it comes to understanding the timescale of evolution. And the minor detail that individuals don't "evolve".

      Then again, homeskooled.

      • http://whateveritisimagainstit.blogspot.com trampndirtdown

        Well life moves pretty fast when the earth is only 6,000 years old.

  • salt_bagel

    Wabbit Season.

  • a_pink_poodle

    Leviathan and Azmodeous and Ducks pulled themselves out of the darkest depths and laid waste to the cities of man.

  • http://grandpaboy.blogspot.com/ seppdecker

    Plus, ducks are notorious moochers. They hang out in public parks paid for with OUR taxdollars, then harass the olds for crusts from their hard-earned sandwiches. That's why that degenerate Ben Franklin wanted them to be named our national bird.

    • finallyhappy

      And did I mention the squirrels in downtown DC that turned up their squirrel noses at my freshly opened packet of croutons from Cosi- damn elitists. I bet the downtown ducks do the same- we saw quite a few hanging out along the Potomac at Hains Point- I did not offer than any of my sandwich

      • zumpie

        So if we add these two evil, elisit species tothe list of mooching moochers who mooch off the gubmint, is Mitty now raging at the 48% or 49%????

    • C_R_Eature

      Old Ben was considering the Turkey for Our National Symbol too, for a while. What can you expect from someone who was so notoriously besotted with Drink, Lechery and Feasting? He probably was only interested in things he could either eat or fuck and preferably, both.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    In the words of '70s Sitcom Catchphrase Comedian Herman Cain: "Aw shucky-ducky!!"

  • Pragmatist2

    1) It's "Stone Age" not "stone age"
    2) Don't worry about your kids falling behind you as evolved beings. The bar is not set high.
    3) "The ducks will get you in the end"???? Gay Duck Libel!

  • Zé Impressora

    Heloooo

  • Zé Impressora

    yo soy brasileiro

  • Geminisunmars

    WTD!

  • Alana

    hi
    i'm from brazil :S

  • Ratinho_SBT

    good afternoon

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Another insufferable rightwing pubescent wonderkid sets the wingnut world on fire. Ever notice that the bulk of the people who embrace their ideology don't yet have fully informed brains?

    On their plus side, it will be easy for them to just replace Jonathan Krohn's name with hers in their hate mail when she matures and turns into a flaming liberal.

    • Ratinho_SBT

      not not

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Oi meus fã voltei

    I'm Back

  • Ratinho_SBT

    Cristina is a transvestite

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Follow Me ou eu hackeio esse site

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Nossa que post interessante…

  • Arkoday

    Homoschooled in Scargill? Figures. BTW, kid: those were NOT real ducks; just dudes wearing duck costumes. Run along now. Uncle Jeb was not hurt by the ducks.

    • Ratinho_SBT

      you're crazy in the head?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i don't know, from parts of florida, ancient rome looks pretty damn good.

  • Alana

    FOLLOW ME, PLEASE

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Se me bloquearem eu encho isso daqui de fakes eu hackeio esse site e jogo um avião conta o Empire State

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      If you aren't playing a surdo, tapping a berimbau or shaking your buttocks, how can we be sure you're from Brazil?!

      • http://tvmaxima-br.blogspot.com.br/ TV Máxima

        nossa..

      • Ratinho_SBT

        Nos samos do Brasil sim entra neste site http://tvfoco.pop.com.br/

      • C_R_Eature

        Well, can't you read the Sign?

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

        Você não sabe nada sobre nos

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          Tenho certeza de que tem a música mais brasileira em minha coleção de música que você faz. Tenho certeza de que sabe mais sobre Capoeira e Candomblé, do que você. Eu provavelmente sabem mais sobre os afro-brasileiros na Bahia, Afro-índios e Zambo do que você, também. Fora isso, eu sou completamente ignorante do Brasil.

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

        e se você não tiver morrendo de fome como vamos saber que é africano?

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

        Chupa essa manga

  • http://tvmaxima-br.blogspot.com.br/ TV Máxima

    Cheguei!!!

  • Ratinho_SBT

    Cade the people here?

  • Alana

    aqui é site queniano achei q era americano kkkk

    • http://tvmaxima-br.blogspot.com.br/ TV Máxima

      kkkkkkkkkkkkkkk mas eles falam em ingles

  • Alana

    I am troll
    n'll use > kkkkkk > hahahahahahah

    • GregComlish

      The point Alana is making is that the onomatopoeia "ha-ha-ha" in English is used for laughter while in Spanish and Portuguese in it used to represent the sound that ducks make, kind of like "quack quack" in English.

      Either that or she's preparing a zerg rush.

  • C_R_Eature

    Eu vejo que estamos Depilação brasileira novamente!

    • Alana

      problem?

      • C_R_Eature

        No, hairless genitalia don't frighten me at all.

      • bandida(globo)

        ordinaria do brasil kkkkkkkkk

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

      Isso usem o tradutor pra falar com a gente

      • C_R_Eature

        Well, it is the polite thing to do.

        • bandida(globo)

          é nada, ela que entrou aqui entao que se dane

    • Ratinho_SBT

      The port is the usefulness of the house kkk

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Gente me sigam eu sou do Glee kkkk

    Follow Me NOW!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Falem com a administração de vocês para eles colocarem gifs animar isso aqui

  • Alana

    haters gonna hate

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    No nosso site nos brincamos de Big Brother kkkk depois deem uma passada lá

    • http://tvmaxima-br.blogspot.com.br/ TV Máxima

      eles comentaram muito no TV Máxima, elogiaram bastante a suzana e a novela: http://tvmaxima-br.blogspot.com.br/2012/10/web-no

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

        kkkkkkkkkk mais la n tem ngm

        • http://tvmaxima-br.blogspot.com.br/ TV Máxima

          ontem tava cheio, veja o link

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Esse site é do Quenia? kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

  • Alana

    no me gusta here haha

  • Ratinho_SBT

    You are rude

  • http://tvmaxima-br.blogspot.com.br/ TV Máxima

    at the moment we are discussing here: http://tvfoco.pop.com.br/tv-foco/novelasemfoco/no

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Eu tava com +3 fiquei com +2 como vc negativam?

    • http://tvmaxima-br.blogspot.com.br/ TV Máxima

      que curioso

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

        né kkkk

  • http://hong-kong-actresses.blogspot.com/ Chow Yun Flat

    Jessica is a quack.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Personally, I welcome our gay duck overlords.

  • el_donaldo

    The environment has become a bit more tropical in here? Ah, well. Cue the Sergio Mendes while we learn a bit about our guests' culture.

    • Geminisunmars

      This explains so much.

  • Biff

    Oh for duck's sake!

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      Duck and cover!

      • glasspusher

        Keep ducking that chicken.

  • C_R_Eature
  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    You know what ELSE rhymes with duck?

    • HogeyeGrex

      Orange?

    • GregComlish

      There once was a duck from Nantucket…

    • LibertyLover

      dump truck?

      • SigDeFlyinMonky

        Fup duck.

        • bikerlaureate

          Fustercluck.

    • http://tvmaxima-br.blogspot.com.br/ TV Máxima
  • Toomush_Infer

    She's right to be worried – it starts in kindergarten with Duck Duck Grey Duck – Stay Homeschooled and Classy, Jasmin(e)!

    • tessiee

      Our kindergarten played Duck, Duck, *Goose*.
      Proof, if any were needed, that ducks will get you in the end.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Oh great, ducks and Brazilians today…

    • GregComlish

      Unfortunately Sunday afternoon is when the Editors get their Brazillians

    • Dashboard Buddha

      My neighbor went to a beauty salon and got a Brazillian Duck Wax.

      • Geminisunmars

        So now your neighbor has a defeathered duck?

    • UW8316154

      Just go with it – really, nothing is off topic on *this* thread.

  • Tommmcatt_Again

    This explains my constant desire for stale bread crusts.

  • el_donaldo

    Sales of Brazilian duck meat to the Middle East have increased 50 percent in the past few years.

    • C_R_Eature
    • el_donaldo

      É nos jornais. eles não mentem, não é?

      • el_donaldo

        Google translate just can't keep up.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      I have it from a well known authority that Brazilian duck meat is FETUSES!!

      kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

      • zumpie

        It and Soylent Green

  • Ratinho_SBT

    You guys are a shit

    • Ratinho_SBT

      olha que fala seu lixo

  • bandida(globo)

    hello baby

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    How do you say "AFLAC!" in Portuguese?

    • bandida(globo)

      o que é isso aflac kkk

  • C_R_Eature
    • el_donaldo
      • C_R_Eature

        Rio, bebê!

        • bandida(globo)

          oh my god! kkkkkk

          • C_R_Eature

            Isso é o que disse!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Cuidado gente essa Bandida não vale 1,99

  • bandida(globo)

    cheguei para sambar na terra do tio sam kkkkkkk

    • PikachuXD

      kkkkkkkkk poderosa kk

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Acreanos tomem cuidado com a Bandida ela trafica pessoas

  • http://tvmaxima-br.blogspot.com.br/ TV Máxima

    Bandida, vc foi bloqueada do tv foco???

    • bandida(globo)

      sim mas eu vou me vingar de todas vcs, me aguardem

      • Ratinho_SBT

        kkk sei

      • Ratinho_SBT

        o Tv foco esta 100000 vezes melhor

      • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

        Q Pena

        • bandida(globo)

          vlw mas eu volto por cima

          • bandida(globo)

            vlw meu amigo

          • PikachuXD

            Bandida pq te bloquearam?

          • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

            liberaa pra comentar no mdt sempre

  • Alana

    olha a prostituta brasileira chegou aqui kkkkkkkkkkkk

    • bandida(globo)

      não to vendo a tua mae ordinaria kkkkk

      • Ratinho_SBT

        para de fala da mãe das pessoas seu lixo

        • bandida(globo)

          a tua é uma vaca kkkkkkkkkkk aqui posso xingar a mae de vcs a vontade

          • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

            teu pai aquele velho lixo

      • Alana

        por isso mesmo, to vendo vc filha da puta

  • bandida(globo)

    gente não deem ouvidos a esse povo do brasil, são todos mal educados, sorry

    • PikachuXD

      Nem todos

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      nem todos

    • Ratinho_SBT

      And You're a waste

    • Albydeias

      Foda-se

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    I came to warn you all that stupid gringos beware the Bandit because she is a pedophile too precourada in Brazil if she gives her address some of you immediately connect to Interpol

    • bandida(globo)

      tudo isso é mentira acreditem em mim eu sofro bullyng dessas pessoas

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

        É tudo verdade gente ela tem 74 anos e rouba criançinhas

  • JorgeCavalieri

    Alô pessoas.

  • Alana

    shut up

  • JorgeCavalieri

    Carrossel Carrossel Carrossel, isso vocês não tem, só no Brasil.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    There suspetas that around 10 Bandits kidnapped children in Brazil plus some say that number could be even higher

    Beware she also user of black magic

  • http://finemessblog.blogspot.com/ AuroraErratic

    Poe? Is that you?

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

      cuidado com a bandida prostituta

    • Ratinho_SBT

      Este Poe é o Lairton desde site

      • JorgeCavalieri

        Isso mesmo.

  • bandida(globo)

    ordinaria acha que vai me destruir, antes eu te pego kkkkkk

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

      vira essa boca pra lá vou tirar ss disso e mandar pra poliçia

      • bandida(globo)

        manda safada

        • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

          Vou mandar meus disgraçado

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Bandida é a maior rata do Brasil

  • Alana

    aliciadora de menores>bandida
    cuidado

  • JorgeCavalieri

    Esse site é tão ruim que nem aceita GIFs, pobreza define.

    • el_donaldo

      This is where you come for dick jokes, not GIFs.

      • JorgeCavalieri

        That's ridiculous.

      • Ratinho_SBT

        Piadas aonde???

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

        Idiot

      • el_donaldo
  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Arrumem o Design desse site sei lá como escreve

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Péssimo mesmo, mal-gosto.

    • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

      kkkkkkkk

  • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

    Oi Gente Sou Do Brasil

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Não se anime, eles nos odeiam.

    • bandida(globo)

      bem vinda a terra do tio sam.

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

        o Quenia fica na Africa sua ignorante

        • bandida(globo)

          kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk burrice te define

          • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

            Não foi eu quem colocou o Tio Sam na historia seu travesti de beira de estrada

  • Albydeias

    Olha a Travecão atacando o povo.

  • JorgeCavalieri

    Bullying, o vilão da sociedade moderna, fato.

  • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

    bandida vc tá ai?

  • dennis1943

    The logic is simple,the reasonong sublime"…………

  • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

    olá pessoas sou do brasil

  • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

    OI Gente Saiba que No Brasil o SBT e Divo

  • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

    Esse Site e Tao Estranho

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      também acho

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Muito, e as pessoas horríveis.

  • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

    No Brasil tem Carrossel

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Sim, e nos USA não tem.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Já era de se esperar um site feio assim é da Africa

    • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

      kkkkkkk

  • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

    todo mundo do tv foco aqui

  • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

    essa _Pagina e so de Brasileiros

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      sim firme e forte

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Yehhh nós dominamos.

  • JorgeCavalieri

    Americanos comem no McDonalds no café da manhã, almoço e jantar, por isso são gordos, muitos até sebosos.

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      credo

      • JorgeCavalieri

        É a verdade, vai ver como são no Texas.

        • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

          Esse site é do Quenia viu?

          • JorgeCavalieri

            Não importa, os americanos continuam gordos.

          • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

            Não fala isso pra eles não ficarem com vontade kkkk

          • JorgeCavalieri

            Nem ligo hahahahaha

    • Albydeias

      Verdade.

  • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

    Aqui e Mais Facio de Ganhar pontos

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Sim, não tem os negativos.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Gente olhem oque o Gringo falou:

    Se você não está jogando um surdo, tocando um berimbau ou balançando suas nádegas, como podemos ter certeza de que você é do Brasil?!

    kkk dai eu chamei ele de africano faminto

    • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

      kkkkk

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Africanos pobres coitados, nem tem o que comer e acham que podem falar de nós.

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      nossa que horror

  • Ratinho_SBT

    The SBT lives in the hearts of Brazilians

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      ratinho? vc aqui?

      • Ratinho_SBT

        sim kkk

        • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

          nossa kkk

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Of course.

  • Albydeias

    Bandit is Delayed

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      alby? até vc aqui

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

        Nãooooo

  • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*
  • JorgeCavalieri

    NÃOOOO, eles trollam esses blogs, apaga isso.

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      apagado

  • bandida(globo)

    fuck you, byby

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

      Teu pai

    • Albydeias

      traveco.

  • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

    Esse SIte ta Otimo com agente

    • JorgeCavalieri

      SÓ com a gente, pois os locais são péssimos.

  • DCBloom

    what are all those kkkkkks about?

    • JorgeCavalieri

      We do not use it anymore.

      • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

        não sei falar ingles

    • Ratinho_SBT

      are laughs

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

      Oi amigo me segue?

    • Arkoday

      It's their online version of 'lol'. Or the Heimlich Manouver being applied.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    SBT é a maior emissora do Brasil

  • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

    Me Negativem kkkkkkk
    Nao pode

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      kkkkkkkkkkkkkk
      verdade

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Adorooo

  • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

    o Brasil e divo

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      sim belinha

  • JorgeCavalieri

    Hey africans.

  • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

    por que não pode postar gifs?
    no mdt pode

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Porque esse avanço ainda não chegou na Africa, coitados.

      • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

        sim verdade

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    ME SIGAM

    FOLLOW ME

    E BRS QUE AINDA NÃO ME SEGUEM ME SIGAM VCS TEM OBRIGAÇÃO DE FAZER ISSO!

  • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

    por que que agente ta aqui????

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Bandida o Castiel que agora é a Quinn me mandou te xingar de FDP

    Bandida sua FDP!

    Pronto

  • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

    nossa esse site é um lixo e ta dando um pau no tv bosta

  • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

    Esse Site e tao pobre

  • Ratinho_SBT

    Avenue Brazil is on fire

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      ratinho fala minha lingua

      • Ratinho_SBT

        Avenida Brasil esta pegando fogo kkkk

        • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

          kkkkkkkkkkkkkk

        • JorgeCavalieri

          ''on fire'' quer dizer outra coisa …

          • Ratinho_SBT

            em chamas

  • JorgeCavalieri

    Preparem-se porque a noite eles excluem tudo.

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      nossa popr que?

      • JorgeCavalieri

        Porque eles nos odeiam, e essa hora estão dormindo, por isso não fazem nada.

  • JorgeCavalieri

    É uma frase idiota, nem perca seu tempo.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Nossa 4 paginas

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    kkkkkkkk

  • C_R_Eature

    The KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK Took My Baby Away.

    • JorgeCavalieri

      WE DON'T CARE !!!

      • C_R_Eature

        jajajajaja!

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      se eu entedesse sua lingua

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez
    • Sr. Madruga

      nao intendi e nao vou pro google tradutor

      • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

        nem eu

        • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

          3

      • C_R_Eature
        • el_donaldo

          haha. awesome.

          • C_R_Eature

            I liked it. No feed back from South of the Border, though.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      I love that song because Joey wrote it about Johnny, who stole the love of his life and remained in a band with him. The song describes Johnny's regressive political attitudes, which closely resemble those of the average Hannity listener of Brazilian telenovela fan.

      • C_R_Eature

        Not a lot of people know that. When I saw 'em at a dive bar in northern NJ you could tell there was Tension between those two. Not when they were playing, though – they were outstanding.

  • Ratinho_SBT

    piadas kkk

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      nossa

  • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

    bandida veio pra ca junto com todos do tv foco

  • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

    tv foco ta traçando

  • JorgeCavalieri

    Que divos que nós somos, dominamos o estrangeiro.

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      kkkkkk
      verdade

  • Sr. Madruga

    ola pessoal do quenia

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      oi sr madruga
      ps:sou do brasil

      • Sr. Madruga

        De qual tribo vc e?? kkkkkkkk

        • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

          tribo do tv foco estrageiro na região

  • Sr. Madruga

    Bandida desgraçada, exploda-se

  • JorgeCavalieri

    Eles só fazem piadas bestas com os políticos ….

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      por que vcs gostam?

      • JorgeCavalieri

        Não gostamos.

        • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

          por que comentão aqui??

          • JorgeCavalieri

            Porque somos divos e dominamos a africa para boicotar o tv foco.

          • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

            boicotam o tv foco no meu blog
            kkk brincadeira

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Vocês usam internet roubada né?

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Roubada da França.

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

        kkkkkk

    • Albydeias

      KKKKKKKKK

  • Albydeias

    A Bandida se f#deu.

  • Alana

    love

  • Alana

    ain voltei hahhaa sambei na fece do wonkette

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Sambamos, brasileiros dominam aqui.

  • Sr. Madruga

    Ei Bandida, sua vadia, vc foi bloqueada do tv foco??

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      sim ela foi

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      por que será que ela foi bloqueada

      • Sr. Madruga

        nao to confiando muito nessa historia

  • Alana

    mulher gato, que site chato n dá nem pra postar gif nesse merda

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Isso que eu falei, pobreza define, tinha que ser da Africa mesmo.

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Tô comendo lasanha #CHUPA

  • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

    esse caralho de google tradutor

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Ano que vem tem Copa no Brasil e em 2016 tem Olímpiadas hahahaha e vocês?

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      eu vou ficar sentado no sofa assistindo tv e comentando aquui

    • Biff

      Precisa de mais vuvuzela.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    You know what a duck's favorite snack is???

    Cheese and quackers.

    Why does a duck walk around it's nest after an earthquake???

    To checks for quacks in the foundation.

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Oh my God you're so funny, neh ?! '_'

    • Ratinho_SBT

      Cade a Graça???

      • JorgeCavalieri

        Em nenhum lugar.

    • LibertyLover

      Pity poor george, his p number isn't as high as yours.

  • chascates

    I've taken care of a number of ducks and that they have evolved to their present condition is pretty miraculous. If you're worried about being less evolved than a duck your education has been severely limited.
    And our level of intelligence has evolved over 2,000 years, for some of us at least, to the degree not to depend on creation myths to explain the world around us.

    • Ratinho_SBT

      hum foi mesmo???

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez
    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      tchau

  • StealthMuslin

    "the ducks will get you in the end."
    I see what she did there…

  • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

    sou da tribo tv foco estrangeiro na região

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Não, estou falando com os africanos de verdade.

  • Albydeias

    Voltando pro Tv Foco.

    • http://mundodatvaudiencia.blogspot.com.br/ marcio ballas

      x2

    • Sr. Madruga

      eu to nos dois

  • Ratinho_SBT

    Tchau gente

  • tessiee

    Your move, Miss Teen South Carolina.

  • tessiee

    Still smarter than Bristol Palin.

  • tessiee

    Your move, Caiden Cowger.

  • Zé Impressora

    Boa Noite

  • Zé Impressora

    hellooo

  • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

    Me Positivem

  • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

    OiOiOi

  • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

    Quem Nao Gosta da Bandida Positiva

  • http://audienciadatvmix.wordpress.com/ *Belinha*

    QUem Ama A Bandida Positiva

  • tessiee

    *sings in seductive voice*
    Small and white and young and lovely,
    the duck from Ipanema goes walking,
    and when she passes, each one she passes goes
    quuuaaaaacccckk…

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    I wonder if we're on a Brazilian game show, with contestants vying to get the most followers? I bet the audience is all KKKKKK!

    • JorgeCavalieri

      No.

  • el_donaldo

    Are they gone? I was going to ask if monkeys really are a problem in Rio.

    • zumpie

      It would appear not quite, so you might just still get a reply!

      • el_donaldo

        Jorge is still here, but it's hard to get a straight answer out of him.

        • JorgeCavalieri

          Oh really ?

        • C_R_Eature

          I don't think Google translates Wonkettespeak very well.

          • el_donaldo

            vice versa. Google translate can't make heads or tails out of what they're saying.

        • zumpie

          Needz moar Brazillian torture! (But I'm not quite sure what that would be)

          • C_R_Eature

            I think it involves Wax. That's all I know, and all I want to know.

          • zumpie

            Oh, DUH!!! (she hangs her head in shame)

    • JorgeCavalieri

      In Africa, of course.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      Must be "quittin' time." Those sandwich coupons probably fetch a fair rate of exchange in Brazil.

    • C_R_Eature

      I'd like to know if the sheep are really that nervous.

    • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

      Sua irmã tá aqui

  • Biff

    Onde está a Susana? Ela é a única para mim!

    • JorgeCavalieri

      They troll her website, she don't wanna come back again.

  • Dashboard Buddha
  • Biff

    Once upon a time, a duck went into a hardware store. The owner asked if he might be of assistance?
    The duck asked, "got any grapes"?

    NO, this is a hardware store.

    The next day the duck came in and asked "Got any grapes" ?

    NO, damn it, this is a hardware store! Next time you come in here asking for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!

    Next day, the duck came back and asked "Got any nails"?

    Clerk said "No, I ran out."

    "Good. Got any grapes?

    • zumpie

      That would actually be better in Portugese. Cause then I wouldn't have wasted 20 seconds reading it

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Har har mix it up with people from Brazil and suddenly you are visited by people with Obama Sucks avatars and intensedebate handles which rather inelegently include the word Solyndra. Not that I'm contending any of the Attack of the Brazilian Trannies has anything whatsoever to do with the record-setting site hits and comments brought about by the mocking of Paul Ryan. But it would be irresponsible not to speculate…

    • zumpie

      Hell hath no fury like a butthurt Puggie

    • glasspusher

      Hah! I had visitors like that long before the brazilians. WTF?

  • zumpie

    So I'll just hazard a guess that her "information" about Rome is largely "they were fucking homos who fucked and fucked. And this one crazy dude burned it down and that was it". Cause seriously, after they fell, it took Europe until roughly the 1700's to get their shit on the same level.

    And obviously L'il Missy could hold her own against Socrates with both hands tied

    Also, too, bonus points!!! Miss zumpie, jr, aged 12, is currently studying the Romans at her evil, urban, elitist, arts focused, public magnate school. I just told her about this. Her response was, "wow she sounds really stupid."

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    this invasion would be hilarious if it were actually, you know, funny.

    • el_donaldo

      Well, we're talking about gay ducks and suddenly, again, are invaded by rather rude Brazilian Glee fans. It may not be funny, but it is kind of a Internet koan.

    • zumpie

      I'm just jealous that most of them have higher ratings than I do

      • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

        now THAT was hilarious.

      • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

        Sim temos mais pontos que você sambamos na sua cara

      • Sr. Madruga

        yes my friend

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    At least we econimia seventh in the world and you guys?

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Our economy is the sixth ;)

    • zumpie

      Um, numero uno! Suck it, bitch!!!

    • zumpie

      Also, too, that's according to the UN, every other metric places you at 6th. Next time do your homework before you troll, whore!

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    We're teenagers and we're here just to hang out with the guy of you

  • Alana

    macacos? na casa de vcs tem varios se é quem me entendem…

    • el_donaldo

      Yes, monkeys! I wanted to know – is it true, or is it just a Simpson's joke?

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMBOsIzwfRE Santana Lopez

    Pelo menos temos comida

  • Alana

    shut up plebeus

  • JorgeCavalieri

    They hate Obama. Why ?

    • Alana

      são preconceituosos pelo jeito, tavam chamando o povo de macaco ali

      • Dashboard Buddha

        are biased by the way, I was singing the monkey people there?

  • LibertyLover

    If it walks like a Brazilian Duck and Quacks like a Brazilian duck….

  • LibertyLover

    A Brazilian duck walks into a bar….

    • Sr. Madruga

      Que graça tem isso seu idiota??

      • JorgeCavalieri

        Nenhuma, é lógico. São uns ridiculos.

      • LibertyLover

        Qui appelez-vous et idiot, mon ami?

        • Sr. Madruga

          A sua piada.

          • LibertyLover

            I guess colloquialisms don't translate very well, do they, mon ami.

          • Sr. Madruga

            nao intendi

          • JorgeCavalieri

            Ele disse que você escreve de uma forma coloquial, ou seja, inferior ao de alguém que hoje em dia é considerado do primeiro mundo. Ele é um idiota, nem liga.

          • LibertyLover

            No, I said that it was I that wrote a joke in a a coloquial form. I did not call anyone an idiot. I do not call people names.

            My point was that you may not understand the sarcasm used on this particular blog.

          • LibertyLover

            Não, eu disse que era eu que escreveu uma piada em forma coloquial aa. Eu não chamei ninguém de idiota. Eu não chamo nomes de pessoas.

            Meu ponto é que você pode não entender o sarcasmo usado neste blog particular.

    • snowpointsecret

      And then he said "ouch!" Well, I guess "quack."

    • C_R_Eature
    • HogeyeGrex

      How did you know it was a Brazilian duck?

      • Doktor Zoom

        No feathers on its cloaca.

  • snowpointsecret

    Wow, I haven't seen a site get taken over by Brazilians in years. It's almost nostalgic.

    Oh, and the people willingly teaching that homosexuality is evil are a bunch of quacks.

    • JorgeCavalieri

      That's ridiculous, seriously.

    • Sr. Madruga

      Ta bom, nao precisa ensinar nada pra gente

  • LibertyLover

    We could really use some duck tape around here..

  • JorgeCavalieri

    Romney or Obama for president ?

    • Geminisunmars

      Sim

    • Fare la Volpe

      Hillary '08!

    • el_donaldo

      Willie Nelson.

    • Barrelhse

      Don't change the subject.

      • Doktor Zoom

        You're saying he's ducking the question?

    • C_R_Eature

      Nixon.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Breaking: Mitt Rmoney just announced that on his first day in office, he will axe Social Security, Medicare and Big Bird, and INVADE BRAZIL.

    • JorgeCavalieri

      We'll be waiting honney ;)

    • Sr. Madruga

      The U.S. is bankrupt, if you guys try to invade Brazil vain lose badly, Brazil's the country's future and your country will sink in this financial crisis.

      • snowpointsecret

        To save money, we'll hire ducks to do it.

        • JorgeCavalieri

          Really ? It combines with your intelligence.

        • Sr. Madruga

          You guys better keep the ducks, because the way it is, you are going to need them to eat.

          • el_donaldo

            Ducks are tasty, no doubt.

          • glasspusher

            All dark meat. Yum.

      • LibertyLover

        Don't believe the hype, mon ami, we are not broke. It is just lies that Republicans like to tell.

  • Anne_Athema

    What a quack.

  • azeyote

    the gay ducks haven't come out yet. but they will – oh yea – they will

    • LibertyLover

      Coming out of where? I would hate to think of ducks in a closet.

    • LibertyLover

      Hmmm. Is Ducks in a Closet the next Snakes on a Plane?

  • LibertyLover

    It is called snark. And all comedy requires knowledge of the reference, I'm sure many Americans wouldn't get a joke in Portuguese either.

    • JorgeCavalieri

      Google translator baby ?

      • Fare la Volpe

        Why are you translating babies? YOU SICK FREAK.

        • C_R_Eature

          Ah, that's the Wonkette we all know and love.

    • C_R_Eature

      You know what we could use around here? Somebody who's an expert in South American cultures!

      • Barrelhse

        Mark Sanford?

        • C_R_Eature

          Trail Hiker Libel!!1!

  • Sr. Madruga

    osama bin laden for president

    • C_R_Eature

      Do Brasil?

      • Sr. Madruga

        No, U.S.

        • JorgeCavalieri

          Sr. Madruga …

          • Sr. Madruga

            que??

        • C_R_Eature

          ocê nkow * Quem mais * thougth um Dead Guy poderia ser presidente?

          • Sr. Madruga

            Mickey Mouse

          • C_R_Eature

            Corrigir!

  • zumpie

    Since it's apparently post stupid shit day, Miss zumpie, jr found this for us http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTSq0LQenBo

    Not quite as awesome as butt fucking makes you a duck, but…

    Apparently if you are the kids who would NEVER be cheated off of (cause really, play the video and check him out), all the school bullies/your homies will try and cheat during a math test. Ha, like some Xtian school would teach math!!!

    Anyway, ultimately, the kid gets a NEW friend, Moses!!! And when his homies appear to kick his ass, there is his new buddy, Anger Management Moses at his side, holding his hand and waving his staff!!!

    Cause there are like no double entendres or weird things going on with any this!!! Noooooo

    And later the kid becomes popular by waving his bible in the direction of some other kids. Even though one's a negro and another is both an Asian and an ICKY, evil, vile guuuurll

    • Doktor Zoom

      Invisible patriarchs tend not to be actually visible to bullies. I hope they explain this.

      Also, if these are the kid's "friends," he needs to be a bit more selective.

      • zumpie

        1) Not to mention, wouldn't all the other bullied poindexters wonder why Moses didn't do some ass kicking on their behalf?

        2) I'm not sure which is worse: your son's friends are cheating bullies or an old man who holds his hand and beats other kids with a big stick?

        3) That school clearly needs some help given all the cheating and recess fighting issues they appear to face.

        Lastly, "lift up the staff of the lord"??? This video has more of teh ghey than Kirk Cameron's banana http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z-OLG0KyR4

    • kittensdontlie

      Thanks. I learned a lot. Keep those staffs lifted up, tall, but don't give into temptation to use it, cause Moses gets the first crack at any stiffing(sic).

      • zumpie

        Oooh, I almost forgot, the light of the lord is clearly something of a golden shower. Kid better keep his mouth shut

  • UW8316154

    Since you are all here, maybe you could share some Brazillian grooming tips?

    • zumpie

      You know who ELSE liked Brazillian grooming???

      • Geminisunmars

        Mengele?

      • C_R_Eature
      • gullywompr

        Ernesto Geisel?

  • LibrarianX

    Duck duck goose

  • LibertyLover

    So this guy walks into the doctor's office with this big white duck on his head.

    The doctor looks up and says, "Yes, sir, can I help you?"

    And the duck says,

    "Yeah, can you get this guy off my butt?"

    • Sr. Madruga

      kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

  • fartknocker

    Off Topic: Arlen Spector passed away today. He was PA's longest serving senator and helped in passing the ACA.
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/arlen-spec

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Who the hell signed us up to host these foreign exchange students?

    • C_R_Eature

      They're lost. Took a wrong turn on the way to Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

      Oh. they're at Wonkette and they want us to Respect them.

      • LibertyLover

        Oh. they're at Wonkette and they want us to Respect them.

        Yeah. The irony of that.

        • BigSkullF*ckingDog

          I show respect by not gunking up their blog with dick jokes and potty humor.

          • C_R_Eature

            That's a good point.

          • gullywompr

            Well, with all their professors on strike, they have a lot of free time on their hands.

          • gullywompr

            "I show respect by not gunking up their blog with dick jokes and potty humor."

            Right, let's keep this place clean, shall we?

          • C_R_Eature

            Oh yeah, I forgot – Mommyblog. Sorry.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Ducks are delicious and I think we should start eating them instead of chicken.

    • LibertyLover

      Yeah… they are tasty, but very fatty skin….

      • glasspusher

        You say that like it's a bad thing

  • Barrelhse

    "Grasshopper- What is the sound of one duck quacking?"

    • Geminisunmars

      Does it sound like Portuguese?

      • HogeyeGrex

        It's all Greek to me.

    • C_R_Eature

      "Fap Fap Fap?"

  • Barrelhse

    Bad fucking news, Jasmin. Read it and weep, honey. http://ts3.mm.bing.net/th?id=H.4557283187163402&a

  • Blueb4sinrise

    One hen.
    Two ducks.
    Three squawking geese.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    If she means that there are far too many people procreating with loons, I tend to agree with her.

  • vtxmcrider

    I, too, have always worried that ducks would get me in the end, until I realized that they have tiny dicks.

    • el_donaldo

      Whoa. You're coming late to the thread man. Google duck penis if you want to have nightmares. There's nothing small about them.

      • C_R_Eature

        It's all Fun and Games until you get The Bill.

  • Negropolis

    New Zealand has always been Australia's not-quite-there cousin. It's out there in "there be dragons" territory, so it takes civilization some time to reach them out there in Middle Earth.

    EDIT: Oh fuck a duck, already. The fucking Bazillions are back. Great, just great.

  • Biff

    It's been an entertaining distraction, but also a detraction.

  • Negropolis

    ATTENTION WONKETTE:

    http://tvmaxima-br.blogspot.com.br/2012/10/web-no

    You know what to do.

    Tell them your favorite things…with (fists) votes. They asked so nicely, it'd be rude not to repay a favor.

    EDIT: Now they are relaying that our Editrix isn't happy with them. lol Yep, they know what they are doing. And, now they are blocking Wonketters from posting over there. Stay classy, Brazilian visitors. Hi Suzana and obrigado!

    • glasspusher

      Yeah, it seems Suzana has a thin skin when the shoe is on the other foot, she's bitching -google translate: "we are victims of a blog war with Americans". Please. Don't dish it out if you can't take it. Victims, my narrow white ass.

    • BigSkullF*ckingDog

      Aw, commenting is disabled on your linky. No fun.

    • Biff

      That cunt! And I said such nice things about her, too!

  • el_donaldo

    They may want to go over to RedState and hang there. They're showing no interest in what's going on here other than getting a rise out of irritating commenters by filling up the pages with insider jokes and drivel. They may not be overtly hostile, but ethnic slurs and name-calling? Yes, it's there, but that's not coming from the Wonketteers, man.

    • C_R_Eature

      Well I, for one, was playing them music, snarking in Portuguese and busting their balls back at them. Nothing uncalled for. Nothing Bizarre. It's what we do here.

      It's what we've always done here.

      • el_donaldo

        Srsly. I mean I pulled out that Brasil '66 track out of sincere respect for the bossa nova. I love my Brazilian brothers and sisters, and not just because they make great porn. They also make for a classic Simpsons episode.

        Nobody did answer my question about whether monkeys are really considered pests in Rio or if that was just a Simpsons' gag.

    • AbandonHope_

      I think there's been some of that on both sides — some nice folks, and some jerks. I think it's more of the fact that I see people here painting them all with one broad stroke. I thought that's what the other side is all about, and what we're against.

      It's also true that I've always been the "arbitrator" ever since my college days, trying to negotiate a peaceful settlement with both sides of an argument. So when I get branded a troll when I'm just trying to make everybody happy, it just hurts.

      Also, this has been a seriously stressful weekend for me, and it frayed my nerves a bit, and I apologize for overreacting.

    • el_donaldo

      Plus I followed them when they demanded it, but they didn't reciprocate. THEY DID NOT RECIPROCATE.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    She's clearly not aware that ducks aren't actually any smarter than humans.

  • dopper0189

    I watched enough cartoons to know that bunnies are smarter than ducks anyways!

    • glasspusher

      You knew it would pay off, eventually.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    I GOT DELETED BY ADMINISTRATOR YOU GUYS!

    i am so excited this is better than a having a job.

    (i don't really know why tho. probably something to do with our neighbors from the big land south of here.)

    • glasspusher

      You are so badass.

  • Paulo H. Amorim

    hello you were speaking ill of Brazil?

    • Blueb4sinrise

      No. Loved it. deNiro!
      kkkkkk

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    hey does anybody know if albert camus is out of copyright?

    i know this is a little OT but the interwebs are somewhat conflicting.

    • Blueb4sinrise

      I know people who can probably find out tomorrow or soon.

      Is it an Existential emergency?
      Any work in particular?
      Any country? Might matter.

      • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

        misunderstanding (his only play – i think and hope – no offense to camus lovers, but he's not a fab playwright). it was written in 43, in occupied france (and he was in the resistance). no idea if or where is was copyrighted.

        it is an existential emergency only in that i do not have a job and am using this play to hold ennui at bay.

        • Blueb4sinrise

          Will see whether I can get anyone to pause their excruciating schedules to at least find out where to look for a clear answer.

          The translation by Christopher Williams ? Or original?
          Is it inappropriate to ask what you would do if another translation or the original cr has lapsed?

    • mille derps

      Not his only play- I had to read 'Les Justes' in college.

      Looks like Le Malentendu is public domain in the original French since here it is online: http://classiques.uqac.ca/classiques/camus_albert

      If you're seeking an English translation, I would guess it would probably be under copyright because: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copyright_Term_Exten

      • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

        whoa that's awesome thank you all so much.

        so if i translate myself, it's fair use?

        i shouldn't be so hard on camus as playwright. (he's better than james joyce for sure). it's just the philosopher in him bleeds thru and handicaps the playwright.

        • mille derps

          I'm fairly sure your translation should be fair use, given that the original appears to be in the public domain.

          According to the Berne convention, the French original COULD still be copyright-protected, since the wikipedia article above states that European practice is generally 70 years since author's death (2030), but at least 50 years since author's death (2010). So it COULD be, but probably isn't since it's freely available online. A bit murky.

          Before you publish or perform your translation publicly, I would do a little more research or seek legal guidance. If you're using your translation for educational purposes, fair use probably has your back, but if you will profit from your translation, fair use may not apply?

          At any rate, if there IS any copyright that your translation would violate if performed publicly, my guess is that whoever holds the copyright must first notify you to cease & desist before they can bring legal action against you?

          I'm not a lawyer- should I add a disclaimer about 'for entertainment purposes only', or is that just for fortunetelling?

          • HistoriCat

            I personally prefer the standard internet abbreviation – IANAL … but maybe that's just because of the connection to butt sechs.

          • mille derps

            Good to know- thanks!

        • mille derps

          Ignore what I wrote above.

          If I'd taken the time to read the cute lil' avertissement on the page with the links to the French text, I would have realized it said that the play is in the public domain in Canada, but possibly not in other countries…

    • Blueb4sinrise

      Well, I guess the gist is : Be careful.

      Friend who INAL, but has to deal with cr issues regularly, says:
      "You would have to know what French law was when the
      play was written to be sure. Under current law the
      play would be protected until 2030 as Camus died in
      1960 and works are protected in France for the life
      of the author plus 70 years. I don’t know when
      France went to the life+n framework, but I’m
      guessing it was a long time ago and the U.S. was
      rare in having a different structure and that
      changed in 1978. "

      [There is a Wonketeer who is a lawyer in S.F, I believe, but can't remember who it is.]

      • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

        misstaken maybe?

        anyway THANK YOU GUYS – all of you so much!

        it's not actually for a production (i was in a production of this last year, which started me thinking). it's actually for a snarky commercial idea to help replace my day job which never seems to last more than 6 months or so.

        all v v good to know.

  • AbandonHope_

    Okay, look, I'm sorry for going off the handle like that. That was not called for; I've just been under a lot of pressure this weekend.

    Look… last night I even tried to make a separate Wonkville story just to steer them out of the thread so they wouldn't bother people like yourself. Check it out yourself. All I have done was try to stay nice to them while trying to get them out of the way of discussion.

    Check my post history, if you think I'm a troll. I've been here for months — years, if you count past accounts. All I've done is try to be friendly, and point out to them that maybe this wasn't the right place for them to be making friends, and you come in and bite my head off.

    • Negropolis

      You know what? Fuck it. Go have your "fun". I'm done. I'll have no part of it. If we'd marched to some random site as rudely as they'd come in here it'd be a different story. They know what they did; you know what they did, but you're going to step on eggshells because why? Because they didn't let on that they are hostile? Really, whatever. I'm not doing the "both sides do it" bullshit, and I'm not going to apologize for being invaded or pussyfoot around what happened (and continues to happen) in here since the other day. Not eveything is an equivalency; not everything requires some kind of measured response.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Next Sunday is Ukrainian Day.

    • glasspusher

      Awesome. I know how to swear in Russki.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    from tvmaxima….

    THEY HAVE BECOME Commenting on LA GO DUCKS GAY

    kkkkkkkkk

  • wolvenwood13

    Actually, there is precedent for ducks ruling the world. Eons ago, the duck-billed dinosaur was at the top of the food chain, or so my biologist husband tells me.

  • smashedinhat

    An invasion by the Men in Black Worm Guys would have been more entertaining.

  • ElPinche

    At least the home-schooled in NZ believe in some type of evolution. Our home-schoolers think Jesus healed wounded Brontosauruses 7000 yrs ago in Walmart parking lots.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    I don't know how vtxmcrider knows how ducks have tiny dicks, but I do. When I was growing up in Florida, I lived near a small lakes. Like most lakes in the area, it was infested with a fat, lazy species of duck (Anas trailerparkia). It was a typically slow day and my friends and I were hanging out that the lake. A fat old drake was chasing down a female and we were amazed at the tiny swinging dick this geezer had.

    But that's not what's funny. What's funny is that day we saw a duck have a heart attack. Ok, maybe it's not so funny, but try to visualize this from the pov of a 12 year old. Any way, Mallard McTinyswingingdick sets off after the object of his desires. Not willing to come across without making Mallard work for it, she led him on a merry chase around the lake. He'd get close enough to start mounting her when there'd be a flaps of feathers and we'd be off again. This went on for about 1/2 hour until Daisy thought that this dude had the right genes to pass along and let him get down to business. Mallard proudly climbs aboard Daisy when suddenly his head popped up and to the left like he was looking for the source of a loud noise. He held that pose for a heartbeat or two and then, without so much as a tremble or a twitch, he fell off of Daisy in that same stiff pose…his tiny dick flopped over in the mud.

    Moments later, an alligator snuffled him and then dragged him back into the lake. This left us pondering the relationship between sex, death, and the circle of life.

    • LibertyLover

      That was the most interesting thing that I read all day! No snark either.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    "I want [my children] to evolve further than I have. "

    With any luck, their eyes will start moving from their location near the ears and back to the center of the face where they belong…unless she wants her kids to look like Admiral Ackbar.

    • SigDeFlyinMonky

      Hey, flatfish eye migration is highly evolved. Don't knock it.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    I know I'm late to the lists on this…but doesn't Jasmine come from a country where there are more sheep than people. Just sayin'.

    • HistoriCat

      And how do you count the hobbits?

  • el_donaldo

    Thanks, but using Google Translate to figure out what you people are saying is giving me a headache. What are you talking about anyway?!? Do you guys get _Breaking_Bad_? Do you have a discussion forum for that? That would be cool.

  • Pat_Pending

    Deth-picable…

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    It ithn't that I haven't tried. GoodneTH knowth it ithn't that.

  • BloviateMe

    I had an ex-girlfriend who once left the house to go playing golf with her dad. A couple hours later, she came back in tears because she accidentally line drived a shot and it hit one of those pond ducks in the head, and knocked one of it's eyeballs mostly out. I guess it was pretty much mostly on it's way to death, kind of flipping around in circles with an eyeball sort of dangling from it's head.

    It's my most interesting duck story that I have, though "interesting" is a vague word.

    Confucius say: he who fuck with duck, always get stuck with bill.

  • Negropolis

    Post Novo, y'all! I bring you Avenida Brasil:

    http://tvfoco.pop.com.br/tv-foco/globo/para-evita

    Give anything you got. Give 'til it hurts. To whom much is given, much is required, and god only knows we have an embarrassment of snark.

  • mille derps

    Any word on whether she is one of Bill Johnson's "daughters"? http://bit.ly/sB5P3u

    • viennawoods13

      Dear lord. PLEASE make that woman stop smiling.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    O Marteloproibição has the weekends off.

  • mcrummett

    Wow, I'm convinced.

  • http://ifthethunderdontgetya.blogspot.com/ ifthethunderdontgetya

    Why a duck?
    ~

  • BlueStateLibel

    Don't worry, guys, Obama has just authorized those drone strikes on Brazil…

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    Well, if it talks like a duck and walks …. Oh … nevermind….

  • ttommyunger

    Sooooo. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck; it must be straight?

  • Esteev

    We should learn from history and not be stuck with copying ancient behavior

    The best argument against organized religion as I have ever heard.

  • TavariousChinaSmith

    The score so far:
    Ducks: 1
    Jasmin H: 0

  • DahBoner

    Bottom Line: Ducks are more evolved than Homeschoolers

  • cc423

    I am beginning to think that being "homeschooled" means you are too stupid to cut it in a real classroom.

  • barto

    This is a novel rhetorical approach, I must say. Using as your main argument a concept that you later disavow completely! Brilliant!

  • randomsausage

    There is obviously some Three-Days-of-The-Condor-Manchurian-Candidate-Shit going down.

  • mudsharc

    Ladies and gentleman, the argument is moot. A duck has but one orifice under his/her feathers. Does the girl think that's a better arrangement? We cant really be sure if the duck in question is a transvestite.