WELCOME BACK  1:37 pm October 12, 2012

Rick Santorum Doesn’t Care If You Murder Your Tiny Little Unborn Baby

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

cummySmegma-lipped poutmonster Rick Santorum has declared what side he is on, and it is the side of murdering tiny little babies in their mommy’s stomachs. What? you are saying, because you have been paying some attention over the years as Rick Santorum has declared himself God’s handmaiden and apostle (both!) in the fight to make sure you sluts are punished blessed with your Rape Gifts. But no, it is true! According to Rick Santorum, stopping fag marriage is more important than stopping ‘bortions. Why does Rick Santorum want to murder your unborn child?

Rick Santorum, can you give us a ride to the Abortionplex? SFGate has some “hidden video” from a fundraiser last night, but it is 35 minutes long so we are not posting it here. You can see it there, if you would like!

“The movement you are fighting is the most important movement to win,” Santorum added. He said it is even more important that the movement to block abortion in America. He warned that marriage will “disintegrate” along with the American family if same-sex marriage becomes legal.

Geighs, can you please stop disintegrating Rick Santorum’s marriage, so he can get back to the important work of personally strapping women into their stirrups for their purity exams, while tenderly explaining them to get back in the kitchen?

Thanks geighs. We knew you’d be reasonable.

[SFGate, via Salon]

 
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{ 163 comments }

Barbara_ October 12, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Oh Rick, I will always love you no matter what you choose to put in your anus.

Nostrildamus October 12, 2012 at 5:41 pm

I know it's hard to tell in that pic, but that's actually his mouth.

Boojum October 13, 2012 at 9:15 am

A new party game! Guess what's in Rick Santorum's anus!

hagajim October 12, 2012 at 1:41 pm

Rick doesn't like the ghey marriage because no babies can be aborted from it.

Boojum October 12, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Rick doesn't like gay marriage because he knows that the only thing stopping him from having some lusty anal with a strapping Midwestern farm boy is that he can't sanctify it in a ceremony. He knows that, if he could receive ritualistic approval of his carnal desires, he would be knees down, ass up, hollering for Jesus around the thick monster cone of his hard muscled Dairy Queen.

BadKitty904 October 12, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Poetry! Sheer poetry! *enthusiastic applause*

Nostrildamus October 12, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Boojum, you're wasted here at Wonkette (just like the rest of us).

Monsieur_Grumpe October 12, 2012 at 1:42 pm

If I ever run for office I will never eat in public again.

actor212 October 12, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Well, certainly nothing resembling a penis.

At least publicly.

Nostrildamus October 12, 2012 at 5:44 pm

That pic doesn't show the custom head Rick had the server put on it.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 13, 2012 at 8:10 am

I suppose you could only eat vagina-like food but that would severely limit your diet. Is this some part of the vast gay conspiracy?

PugglesRule October 12, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Much too suggestive!

Gleem McShineys October 12, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Come on Rick, show a little effort and at least cup the cone.

BadKitty904 October 12, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Damned amateurs…

Gleem McShineys October 12, 2012 at 1:58 pm

In his defense, he seems to be doing the locked-on eye contact pretty well. Wonder who is on the receiving of his gaze?

Lindsay Graham?

BadKitty904 October 12, 2012 at 2:01 pm

The obscure object of his desire…

Cicada October 12, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Marcus Bachmann. I hear he has a "thing" for sweater vests and self hatred.

actor212 October 12, 2012 at 2:15 pm

The camera. He's obviously watched a few pornos.

BaldarTFlagass October 12, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Well, if they make gay marriage legal and that destroys "regular" marriage, then all future pregnancies will be illegitimate, so we can just kill the parents and foster out (or is it kill?) the unwanted babies, including the gay ones and the ones that would be on welfare. So, all the problems will be solved. Do I have that right?

Toomush_Infer October 12, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Except you were a little light on the stoning (my favorite!) part….

samedwards_net October 12, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Then just cut taxes for the rich babies, and voila: utopia.

Hammiepants October 12, 2012 at 1:42 pm

That picture is more revolting than the one of the massive porkbeast blowing chunks the other day. Yikes.

tessiee October 12, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Although I suppose Rick could also be considered a porkbeast, just not the same kind.

CommieLibunatic October 12, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Eh, at least this one has ice cream, unlike yesterday's eye scream.

SheriffRoscoe October 12, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Gingrich's marriages have disintegrated three times. Limbaugh's, four or five. It will be thousands more a piece if gays have their way.

pdiddycornchips October 12, 2012 at 2:28 pm

Well to be fair, one of Newt's marriages collapsed because he loved America too much. The ghey's are definitely to blame for the other two though.

Mumbletypeg October 12, 2012 at 1:43 pm

The movement you are fighting is the most important movement to win

Like a bowel's issue, trapped in time — Rick's message is trapped between object and objective.
Try "fight for" the same movement you're trying to win, creamcup!

SayItWithWookies October 12, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Which explains his coprophageous grin.

samedwards_net October 12, 2012 at 4:12 pm

This is why they don't let him write legislation anymore.

Blueb4sinrise October 12, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Had a movement this morning. Woe betide us if it had any effect on anyone's marriage.

Texan_Bulldog October 12, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Well, we have to blame SOMETHING for 50% of all marriages going kaput.

Poor Ricky, it must be hell to be alive in the 21st century as opposed to when it was okay to club your woman over the head & drag her into the cave by her hair.

mavenmaven October 12, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Its all the fault of antibiotics. Were the average lifespan of the population back down to 30, then there wouldn't be divorce, women would die in childbirth, husbands wouldn't survive them for too long, and society would be just as Santorum would like it.

actor212 October 12, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Hang on….*calculating*….so I could be on my fourth wife by now?

BAN CIPRO!

Lascauxcaveman October 12, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Good times, good times.

Gratuitous World October 12, 2012 at 1:44 pm

he also now calls ice cream "Friess Cream."

Toomush_Infer October 12, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Except chocolate ice cream, still called "Santorum" in deference….

cromiller October 12, 2012 at 1:44 pm

It's Friday, I'm sick, it's been a long week and I have no power to snark… I can only offer up a hearty "fuck you, ricky" before diving back into my herbal tea.

BadKitty904 October 12, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Aw, poor puddin'. Hope you get to feeling better… :0)

Callyson October 12, 2012 at 1:45 pm

In Santorum’s words, “a secular revolution, a Godless revolution” has swept across every Western European country, which he said “is why they are declining.”

And meanwhile, China is on the rise because…um, er, well…

KeepFnThatChicken October 12, 2012 at 1:50 pm

on the rise fiscally, just like we were back in the fifties and sixties. Meanwhile, our hearts became empty and our souls were hollowed out.

pdiddycornchips October 12, 2012 at 2:25 pm

The Inquisition wasn't so bad was it? True patriot that Ricky is, he knows it's not enough to be just intolerant, you need to teach those non-believers what's what.
Yes, teach them with whips and hot irons to their nether regions. The secularists are infringing on his freedom to torture people who disagree with him. That's just not right.

Swampgas_Man October 12, 2012 at 10:59 pm

So having to listen to this putz ISN'T torture?

Lascauxcaveman October 12, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I always suspected Rick like to put thick, brown things in his mouth.

widestanceromance October 12, 2012 at 2:32 pm

I assumed it was coming out of his mouth after entering who knows where.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 12, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Rick must be pretty damned sure his marriage would disintegrate if gay marriage were to become an option. Can we ask him why?

KeepFnThatChicken October 12, 2012 at 1:49 pm

because he loves that cone more than his wife?

BadKitty904 October 12, 2012 at 1:55 pm

*He* certainly seems to feel threatened by it…

Jukesgrrl October 12, 2012 at 3:37 pm

No, only PPP can ask him. But it will be in their next Minnesota poll.

BeefHardcake October 12, 2012 at 1:45 pm

I hate him so, so much.

So very much.

KeepFnThatChicken October 12, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I'd say my marriage was flagging because I was a simpering crybaby that let my wife make our decisions for ten goddamn years without asking for my input at all, and denying any interest in my ideas or suggestions throughout the same time.

And I realize correlation does not imply causation, but to be fair, during that same stretch of time, I never sucked another man off.

MosesInvests October 12, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Waitaminnit-you were married to my ex?

elviouslyqueer October 12, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Oh, fuck Rick Santorum. And by that I mean not even if he was the last power bottom on earth and I had just ingested four year's worth of Viagra.

Biff October 12, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Oooh, where's the no love?

BadKitty904 October 12, 2012 at 1:56 pm

HAWT!

Boojum October 12, 2012 at 2:14 pm

I hate to be stupid, but what's a power bottom?

elviouslyqueer October 12, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Ask, and you shall receive. (and fuck you too, Urban Dictionary)

Wait, what?

SheriffRoscoe October 12, 2012 at 2:18 pm

It's a person who likes to be the receptive partner with regards to doing it in the butt, has an insatiable sexual appetite and apparent lack of pain receptors. They can be quite intimidating.

glasspusher October 12, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Talk to your doctor. Maybe he's into that kind of thing.

Nostrildamus October 12, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Another meaning for power bottom. 5-to-1 Rick's got one.

BornInATrailer October 12, 2012 at 1:47 pm

That pic is horrifying. Why does his expression say "I just got caught doing something naughty?"

BadKitty904 October 12, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Because he doesn't generally boast in public about his lack of a gag reflex?

PeaceWithHonor October 12, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Question: After Rick's marriage disintegrates from gay freedom, how should he remake himself to find the man of his dreams?

tessiee October 12, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Step 1 should be a personality transplant.

Gleem McShineys October 12, 2012 at 2:10 pm

More food-based "performances" I would guess.

bobbert October 12, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Fewer sweater vests.

gullywompr October 12, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Enjoy that wafflecone, Creamcup.

Crank_Tango October 12, 2012 at 1:48 pm

I didn't know that stuff could freeze.

actor212 October 12, 2012 at 2:17 pm

It took three reads to get this.

Well done….well done.

Biff October 12, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Damn it, just as soon as my spellchecker remembered "ghey", they go and change the spelling again…

Gleem McShineys October 12, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Huh. This guy.

So what are the chances that anyone is actually going to listen to Rick Santorum, this time?

actor212 October 12, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Her?

BadKitty904 October 12, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Considering they've managed to muddle along for at least the 5,000 or so years of recorded human history, I'm surprised to hear that marriage and the family are so very fragile.

actor212 October 12, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Is that chocolate cream, Creamcup?

skmind October 12, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Is that "Sanrorum" emblem on his shirt really necessary? I mean LOOK AT HIM and what does he ooze? That's right: sperm-feces.

actor212 October 12, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Oh come on, give the guy a break! Think of how many of those shits he had left over when he folded like a bad card table. He's being environmentally conscious and not adding polyester to a landfill!

Monsieur_Grumpe October 12, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Why can't Santorum obsess about something more important like his lack of armpit hair or what kind of saddle Jesus used to ride a Brontosaurus?

Boojum October 12, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Oh, he does…he does….

He thinks about the saddle he'd like strapped to his ass while he is ridden like a Brahma bull. I'm serious, this one is suppressing his desire to "come to Jesus" more than Ted Haggard times Marcus Bachman.

tessiee October 12, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Oh, I think we all know why Ricky obsesses about the geigh guys.

kyeshinka October 12, 2012 at 1:52 pm

That's the way He likes 'em. Long, black, thick and frosty.

Boojum October 12, 2012 at 2:34 pm

He's an Obama supporter, then?

kyeshinka October 13, 2012 at 8:21 am

We all have to root for someone.

Boojum October 13, 2012 at 9:10 am

ISWYDT

mrblifil October 12, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I had an important movement right after my coffee.

Mumbletypeg October 12, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Rick, don't try to fool me into thinking you've clued in as to why retro-reversing an unwanted marriage is as much if not more complicated than proto-aborting an unwanted pregnancy.
When you figure out that each is a right, not a 'privilege'; for many, not the few — i.e. the chance to start over** — let Newt Gingrich know, please before he aborts another of his divinely conceived trophy marriages.

** ETA: "Starting Over" is a hallmark theme of your religious ilk. Yet no one makes doing this more complicated than those in that very same, Christ-pimping camp.

KeepFnThatChicken October 12, 2012 at 2:02 pm

…and the opinions of the faithful within that camp are all over the goddamn place as to whether they should remarry, remain a spinster, or find a different camp to congregate in.

el_donaldo October 12, 2012 at 1:53 pm

The nice thing about having the conservatards go all in on the gay marriage issue is that this one is the one they are clearly losing.

Lemmings.

mavenmaven October 12, 2012 at 1:54 pm

These repubs are obviously very repressed homosexuals. Only someone who is deeply repressed would think that legitimating homosexual relationships would make everyone run and become gay. Me, I'd be happy to live around gay couples and would not feel any less attracted to women.

BadKitty904 October 12, 2012 at 2:06 pm

What's always struck me as peculiar is I don't think I've ever met a homo who feels threatened by heterosexual marriage. Most of us are delighted when y'all get married to someone you love and want to spend your life with.
We just expect the right to do the same thing ourselves, is all.

mavenmaven October 12, 2012 at 2:38 pm

I bet Marcus feels plenty threatened :)

SayItWithWookies October 12, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Hey Rick — married gay couples almost never have abortions — just sayin'.

Biff October 12, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Needz moar sweater-vest.

Gleem McShineys October 12, 2012 at 2:04 pm

It's at the cleaners, seems he dribbled some other brown frothy substance on it.
Must have been ice cream, also.

BornInATrailer October 12, 2012 at 1:55 pm

I understand he's speaking to a friendly crowd… but how did no one else in the audience that believes, as does he, abortion is equivalent to murdering a baby stand up and say "No, murdering a baby is worse than 2 dudes getting hitched."

There is no way you could fill a room with pro-life folk that would also agree with Ricky's little morality apples and oranges comparison.

GregComlish October 12, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Everybody loves chocolate

YouBetcha October 12, 2012 at 1:58 pm

I enjoy watching this miserable fuck lose the culture war. It kind of turns me on. In a gay way.

actor212 October 12, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Yes. In fact, I'd turn gay if I could just so I could enjoy it even more.

YouBetcha October 12, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I've gone lesbian for far less worthy causes.

mrpuma2u October 12, 2012 at 2:18 pm

That has increase the fap factor of this thread exponentially. Thank you.

actor212 October 12, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Pics or GTFO

tessiee October 12, 2012 at 1:59 pm

OT, but that Onion article that used to contribute to my insomnia? Has a whole 'nother feel this morning:

"And if we’re having trouble getting Pennsylvania on board, just wait until I absolutely wipe the floor with Joe Biden in the vice presidential debates. Don’t think for a second that I don’t know you’re terrified of us facing off, because in the back of your mind you know it could be a bloodbath up there."

It was, Paulie. It was. Bet you're not smirking now.

CommieLibunatic October 12, 2012 at 2:00 pm

I heard recently that scientists in Kyoto made mouse eggs from stem cells. It's a very big "maybe" at this point, but they're saying this could possibly revolutionize fertility medicine, especially for gay and lesbian couples.

So don't tell me the gays will ruin marriage and humanity. Because SCIENCE, you shit-sucker.

mavenmaven October 12, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Why would gay couples want to have baby mice?

CommieLibunatic October 12, 2012 at 2:46 pm

Because they're depraved lunatics who hate America and want it destroyed because they're secretly all Muslims also too? Jesus, are you taking notes? Get a fucking pen!

bobbert October 12, 2012 at 10:53 pm

Cheaper than baby humans?

schvitzatura October 12, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Commander Cody is one of many clone sons of gheys Palpatine (size queen) and Jango Fett (armor fetishist).

This is canon, right?

Santorum, defending the galaxy against Order 66 (or was it 69) execution!

Jukesgrrl October 12, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Obscure, but funny.

bobbert October 12, 2012 at 11:00 pm

This is so obscure, my obscurometer has broken, but anyhow

Commander Cody LIBEL!!!

tessiee October 12, 2012 at 2:00 pm

This is wrong, but the fact that he's eating *chocolate* ice cream makes it even funnier.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 12, 2012 at 2:03 pm

When will these politicians learn NEVER TO PUT PHALIC SHAPED THINGS IN THEIR MOUTHS IN PUBLIC?!

Whollyholeyholy October 12, 2012 at 2:11 pm

He's not just eating it, either. He is deep-throating it.

Boojum October 12, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Are you kidding? This will be Rick's masturbatory fantasy for the next month, at least until the new issue of "Young Bottoms" comes out (so to speak).

Jukesgrrl October 12, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Oh, please, don't tell them that.

owhatever October 12, 2012 at 2:06 pm

However, he favors abortions for gay men who get preggers because of legitimate forcible rape.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 12, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I don't consider my day done until I have personally exploded and then had sex with the corpse of at least one straight marriage.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 12, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Hey straights! BOO!

Boojum October 12, 2012 at 2:13 pm

EEeeek! Oh! A ghey! Oh! Save me!

bobbert October 12, 2012 at 11:04 pm

HOO?

ManchuCandidate October 12, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Ricky uses the old politician reasoning. Fetuses don't vote.

magic_titty October 12, 2012 at 2:07 pm

That picture would make Sasha Grey blush.

pinkocommi October 12, 2012 at 2:07 pm

". . . marriage will 'disintegrate' along with the American family if same-sex marriage becomes legal."

Yes because it is MUCH better for everyone when gay people are closeted and married to their unsuspecting beards and sneak out on random Tuesday nights for anonymous, Craigs-list arranged buttsecks. That is MUCH better for the American family and the institution of marriage than gay people being out and proud and in commited, gay relationships.

pinkocommi October 12, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Santorum is anti-santorum.

Boojum October 12, 2012 at 2:13 pm

While eating … no, I can't finish it.

Gleem McShineys October 12, 2012 at 4:18 pm

I can't finish it.

"Don't worry, honey. I'll take care of it. MMMM"

–Rick Santorum

Tequila Mockingbird October 12, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Who is this guy again? Didn't he lose a bunch of elections, waste some fat rich fuck's money, and name himself after bunghole juice? Who thinks this anachronistic fuckhole is relevant anymore?

Crank_Tango October 12, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Bunghole juice is quite popular on the twitters.

PsycWench October 12, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I wonder if anyone has asked Santorum what he would recommend if prenatal testing showed that your baby will grow up to be gay.

Boojum October 12, 2012 at 2:41 pm

Wait until it is born and then kill it, for Jesus.

glasspusher October 12, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Good one! I'd like to see his head explode from contemplating that. PsycWench, indeed.

schvitzatura October 12, 2012 at 3:03 pm

How much of the male ghey is genetic (nature) and how much of it is those that just dig prostate stimulation (nurture)?

PsycWench October 12, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I'm around gay colleagues and students all week long and yet I have remained straight-married for almost 19 years. I must be doing something wrong.

BadKitty904 October 12, 2012 at 2:18 pm

We can sense when str8s are afraid, ya know. As long as you're cool and calm, you're safe.

HuddledMass October 12, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Oh, like bees and dogs – I did not know this. Wonkette: it's an educational experience.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 12, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Where do you live? I will contact the gay mafia and have them ramp up recruitment in your area immediately.

glasspusher October 12, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Her marriage is under attack by the gheys and she doesn't even know it! They're so tricky. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!

PsycWench October 12, 2012 at 2:58 pm

Not too far from Crumb and Get It, so ask them to stop by and order some gay cookies.

pdiddycornchips October 12, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Have you tried being an intolerant dick? No? Well, you're just not applying yourself.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 12, 2012 at 4:15 pm

If you've been married 19 years you must be doing *something* right.

docterry6973 October 12, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Jeez, get with the program. We have an entire civilization to destroy and you aren't helping by holding out this way.

Troubledog October 12, 2012 at 2:13 pm

If they want to protect marriage, why aren't they fighting to make divorce illegal?

BadKitty904 October 12, 2012 at 2:18 pm

At last! Well said!

Boojum October 12, 2012 at 2:42 pm

They are.

DahBoner October 12, 2012 at 2:56 pm

Nope nor abortions, neither.

Boojum October 13, 2012 at 8:25 am

You have so little faith in teh stoopid. http://rescuemarriage.org/about-rescue-marriage/

IncenseDebate October 12, 2012 at 2:14 pm

What about the unborn gay babies?

OneYieldRegular October 12, 2012 at 2:15 pm

I've said it before, and will undoubtedly say it again, but if I had children I wouldn't let them anywhere near Rick Santorum.

Boojum October 13, 2012 at 8:26 am

I would, after I had had trained them in ninjutsu assassination techniques, using votes.

iburl October 12, 2012 at 2:18 pm

When "Catholic" Rick Santorum adopts the church's policies on the death penalty, war, and giving to the poor, maybe then he will be a more effective theocrat.

That soft-serve foam in the picture is "Santorum-dipt".

Gleem McShineys October 12, 2012 at 2:27 pm

Anyone here wants some delicious beans?

Boojum October 13, 2012 at 8:28 am

Yum. Fetus bean soup.

kittensdontlie October 12, 2012 at 2:33 pm

You folks are in the front line. You folks are in the foxhole.—Santorum from linked video.

Foxhole has many definitons in urban slang, and none are Santorum-friendly.

widestanceromance October 12, 2012 at 2:42 pm

He knows the right is running out of scary monsters under the bed, so must now ration them more slowly. Take away fear and what have they got?

LibrarianX October 12, 2012 at 2:53 pm

He got a real pretty mouth ain't he?

DahBoner October 12, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Marriage + Ghey! = Compost. MATH.

Jukesgrrl October 12, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Somebody needs to break it to Ricky that the kind of straight marriage he and Mrs. Gingham Dress have was rejected by 99% of Americans about three decades ago.

docterry6973 October 12, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Why, Oh Lord, why do gays want to destroy marriage?

Does Sen. FrothyMix not understand that teh geys have maintained loving relationships since forever, because they are people? Gays being legally married will not make one iota of difference in my own marriage or personal morality.

Though we might not want to use my personal morality as evidence for anything.

Boojum October 13, 2012 at 8:30 am

All I have to say is that gay marriage can do no harm to my marriage.

poorgradstudent October 12, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Pope Palpatine is going to zap him with lightning!

chascates October 12, 2012 at 6:57 pm

We know what happens when you extend marriage rights to gays and lesbians from what happened in other countries. You probably will also get single-payer healthcare, lower gun violence due to strict gun control, cheap higher education, and an unwillingness to engage in imperialist adventures.

Bring it.

Dudleydidwrong October 12, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Ricky knows he's holding the short end of the stick. The recent Pew study of religious values in the US revealed that the percentage of the population who are unaffiliated–including atheists, agnostics, "free thinkers," etc. is slightly higher than those who identify themselves as "white, Evangelical" or "Born Again" Christians (19.9% to 19%).

Hang on to that stick, Rick. Some day you'll be riding the pointy end.

jamsie25 October 13, 2012 at 4:49 am

Once again Little Ricky is protesting too much. Unlike others who say things like 'come out of the closet Ricky', I say stay put you putrid turd.

LibrarianX October 13, 2012 at 12:29 pm

Rick Santorum: adult diaper spokesman

vtxmcrider October 13, 2012 at 6:31 pm

While he's ramming that thing into his mouth, he's thinking, "Ah, big, black dick!"

ttommyunger October 13, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Shit, it took nearly fifteen years for my first marriage to disintegrate, life's been pretty good since then. Bring on the 'Bortions.

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