Brad Sherman and Howard Berman are almost indistinguishable. They are old liberal Jewish Democrats who both voted for the Iraq war (but still try to ding the other for voting for the Iraq war? Come on, guys), and they are both sitting members of Congress representing Los Angeles’s San Fernando Valley. (You remember the Valley from movies like Valley Girl and songs like, um, Valley Girl.) But then a quirk of fate (or the redistricting commission) forced them to run against each other for a newly created seat, and now it is like a comedic Hollywood movie! Yesterday, shortly before Joe Biden raped poor Paul Ryan in his bottom, the two candidates met for some quality get-in-your-facetime, and Brad Sherman basically tried to headlock Howard Berman while shouting at him “YOU WANNA GET IN MY FACE?” and some other stuff, like George W. Bush pretending he was Hud and shouting “You wanna go mano-a-mano old man???” And then an alert copper (we presume he’s a sheriff’s deputy, based on his uniform) was like, you know, I think I will do some keeping of the peace. Gentlemen? Please stop the manhandling. BOO!
The most terrible thing (by which we mean the greatest thing) about this short video is the audience’s bloodlust. After all, these are the kinds of dutiful citizens who go to congressional forums between old liberal Jews; they should be moaning, like, “STOP!” and “OY VEY!” But instead they are hooting like common vulgar wrestling fans, sort of like we did last night when Joey Biden shouted at Ryan OH YOU’RE JACK KENNEDY NOW??? Heh.
Unfortunately, now — thanks to near simultaneous acts of violence in the Berman-Sherman debate and whatever Joe Biden did to that poor little punk — the populace will no longer be satisfied with boring, fisticuff-free debates. Every debate will have to feature Brooks and Sumner cold beating each other with canes.