the rally in the valley

Old Bald Liberal Jews Mistake Congressional Debate For WWE Ring (Video)

Brad Sherman and Howard Berman are almost indistinguishable. They are old liberal Jewish Democrats who both voted for the Iraq war (but still try to ding the other for voting for the Iraq war? Come on, guys), and they are both sitting members of Congress representing Los Angeles’s San Fernando Valley. (You remember the Valley from movies like Valley Girl and songs like, um, Valley Girl.) But then a quirk of fate (or the redistricting commission) forced them to run against each other for a newly created seat, and now it is like a comedic Hollywood movie! Yesterday, shortly before Joe Biden raped poor Paul Ryan in his bottom, the two candidates met for some quality get-in-your-facetime, and Brad Sherman basically tried to headlock Howard Berman while shouting at him “YOU WANNA GET IN MY FACE?” and some other stuff, like George W. Bush pretending he was Hud and shouting “You wanna go mano-a-mano old man???” And then an alert copper (we presume he’s a sheriff’s deputy, based on his uniform) was like, you know, I think I will do some keeping of the peace. Gentlemen? Please stop the manhandling. BOO!

The most terrible thing (by which we mean the greatest thing) about this short video is the audience’s bloodlust. After all, these are the kinds of dutiful citizens who go to congressional forums between old liberal Jews; they should be moaning, like, “STOP!” and “OY VEY!” But instead they are hooting like common vulgar wrestling fans, sort of like we did last night when Joey Biden shouted at Ryan OH YOU’RE JACK KENNEDY NOW??? Heh.

Unfortunately, now — thanks to near simultaneous acts of violence in the Berman-Sherman debate and whatever Joe Biden did to that poor little punk — the populace will no longer be satisfied with boring, fisticuff-free debates. Every debate will have to feature Brooks and Sumner cold beating each other with canes.

Sadface?

[LAT]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Lemme tell you, brother! If you want to get it on, IT'S ON! This Friday night at the Elks Club! You! Me! Steel cage! Be there, brother! OhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhYEAH!

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      Wonkamania's running wild brother!

    • BadKitty904

      Two mensches enter, one mensch leaves.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Hey, how come you stood us up for the debate liveblog?!

    • PugglesRule

      No fighting on Friday! They'll both be at temple. But Saturday afternoon is open.

    • http://www.dailydickpunch.com Magic Sam

      You'll pay for the whole seat, but you'll only be using the EDDDDDDDDDDDGE.

  • FakaktaSouth

    The next time you reference Valley Girl, one of these dudes better be Nicolas Cage in an alley all drunk and throwing up while sobbing over the rich girl who don't wanna date him no more. Like, totally.

    Also, since I'm like, out for the day as of now, OHJOOOOOOE! So freaking awesome.

    • eggsacklywright

      Needs moar big hair.

    • Boojum

      Live feed!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Girl, I'm tellin' ya, you get me all worked up when you hoot and holler like that.

  • tessiee

    You can easily tell them apart by Brad Sherman's chiseled grin and Howard Berman's grizzled chin.

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      *applause*
      …(*stealing*)

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    I'd vote for Jewish Sherman over Berman because the only Beman I know (Chris) ruins the home run derby every year for me with his blow hard blabbing and undeserved arrogance.

  • mavenmaven

    Enter! Come in! Come in… AND ENTER!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Those two had a famous fight back before the Civil War. I think Berman beat Sherman with a cane or something.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      And later, Sherman burned Atlanta to the ground.

      • Oblios_Cap

        And Berman went on to start ESPN or something.

  • Hammiepants

    I live right in these two goofballs' bailiwick, and I would have PAID to see this. Also, anyone who's ever waited for a table at Jerry's Deli on Sunday know how vicious these old Jewish cats can get. They'd shiv you soon as look at you if you get the last noodle kugel.

    • finallyhappy

      Anyone who remembers Wolfies in Miami when they would put out the extra free rolls can see these guys are just schleppers

      • Dildeaux

        The Rascal House is great for lunch on Xmas Day. What holiday? Meh.

    • rickmaci

      "Jerry's Deli on Sunday…" Bwhahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha….

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Worst. Seder. Ever.

    • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      Unlike last night's debate, er, Ryan's Bris.

      • PugglesRule

        Smokin' Joe should have put out flyers ahead of the debate: "I'm not a mohel but tonight will be Paul Ryan's bris."

    • BadKitty904

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

  • WhatTheHeck

    Pussies both. I didn’t see any punches thrown.

  • tessiee

    "HOWARD!!! ARE YOU AND THE SHERMAN BOY ROUGH-HOUSING UP THERE!!???"

    • Lascauxcaveman

      "IT'S NOT ROUGH-HOUSING MA! IT'S PILATES!!!"

  • Hera Sent Me

    Oy Gevalt! What would your mothers say?

  • Tequila Mockingbird

    Like, totally, omigod, like, whatever.*

    (*Former 80s Valley Girl)

    • eggsacklywright

      Gag me with a pitchfork.

      • FakaktaSouth

        I still like fuck me with a chainsaw. "Heathers" was 80s, no? I love my dead gay son!!!!

      • Crank_Tango

        For some reason I found myself slightly aroused by the shoulderpads. I think it was the sense memory of hairspray that did it…

        • Crank_Tango

          d'oh ! Ah I always had a thing for that not SJP brunette…

  • gullywompr

    Remember when Democrats used to be the pussies?

    • Pennywhistler

      No.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Oh, if Democrats fought their adversaries as well as they fought their allies this would be a wonderful country.

  • SexySmurf

    Since it was in the San Fernando Valley, I assume half way through the debate a pizza delivery boy and a plumber showed up and started having sex with everyone.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Don't forget the pool boy!

    • Biff

      That happens in Studio City, but come ON, Weirdland Hills is far more reserved!

  • gullywompr

    Pfft! I wanna see the films of Rebecca and Sarah liveblogging last night.

    • Boojum

      Oh, if only there was a God, this would be true.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I wonder if they got into their pajammies and had a pillow fight after the debate.

      • kittensdontlie

        Wasn't that the edge of a mud-westling pit in the posted 'rainbow' photo from last night?

      • Will_Panic

        Talk like that is making it very difficult for me to work.

      • BigSkullF*ckingDog

        That mental image almost makes up for me having to look at that picture of Ryan lifting weights first thing this morning.

      • gullywompr

        Geez, calm down guys! There's no way anything even remotely sexy happened – they're bloggers.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Nikki Haley was doing some sexytime with a blogger, so anything's possible…

      • Dildeaux

        fapfapfapfap

  • JackDempsey1

    A Berman/Sherman match?
    Please tell me the moderator was Theodore Geisel.

    • BadKitty904

      "In the far-away valley of San Fernando, lived Sherman and Berman, who fought toe-to-toe…"

    • Juan_Oriley

      The Berman/Sherman battle in a puddle in a bottle on a poodle eating noodles?

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      Scrambled Eggs Sherman de Berman de Herman, special deluxe a la Uma J. Thurman.

  • Goonemeritus

    When my kids were small their youthful enthusiasm would often lead to wrestling and such. As an involved caring father I would always take the time to handicap the fight and make book.

  • hagajim

    The Thrilla' of Salmonilla?

  • Poindexter718

    Not since Herschel Mendelssohn's bar mitzvah have I seen such a brawl!

    • PugglesRule

      Or that wedding in Philadelphia last weekend. Oy.

      • Poindexter718

        Such tsuris!

  • Oblios_Cap

    And then the clock struck 4 PM, so off to the blue plate special they trundled…

  • Grief_Lessons

    The world needs more Frank Zappa.

  • BadKitty904

    Sherman and Berman are squirmin'? Such a shemozzle…

  • zumpie

    You had me at "Joe Biden raped poor Paul Ryan in his bottom"

  • Crank_Tango

    Sheesh. That was really hard to masturbate to.

    • Grief_Lessons

      But not impossible.

    • PugglesRule

      So relatlvely but not totally unfappable.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    And then a little tiny dog with glasses showed up and took Sherman to something called the Wayback Machine.

    • mavenmaven

      PEABODY LIBEL!

  • ttommyunger

    Fuck me running! I got nothing.

  • Biff

    Barf me out!

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    The first rule of debate club is don't talk about debate club.

  • Not_So_Much

    Needs moar nightstick.

  • http://guyclinch.blogspot.com GuyClinch

    And so a noogie was averted, thanks to our brave lawman.

  • Tundra Grifter

    Howard – Next time Brad tries to poke you with Da Finga (thank you, "Sunshine Boys") grab it with your fist and take him to his knees.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    I'm thinking this could be a new online game.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Which one is Larry David?

    EDIT: Jason Alexander is in too deep! "You're not you!! I'm you!!"

  • delaney_blom

    It's okay, but Reiner and Brooks are way funnier

  • calliecallie

    Dude, this is Cali. Let's, like, spark up a doob and chill, brah.

    Howard and Brad's Excellent Adventure.

  • docterry6973

    OT, but I just clicked on the Amazon link and was greeted by the lovely cover photo of our own Sara Benincasa on her lovely book. I also bought the book by our Editrix, though Amazon does not provide a lovely cover photo for it. I bought both, and may even read them when I am done "looking" at the cover photos. If Layne's book has a hawt cover photo I might be persuaded.

  • DahBoner

    "You remember The Valley"

    OMG, totally. Worst cowboy TV show evah. Gag me with a fork…

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    Personally, my bloodlust won't be satisfied until debates go full-Bloodsport

  • GeorgiaBurning

    Of course, the loser will get a talk show on KABC am.

  • SorosBot

    "You remember the Valley from movies like Valley Girl and songs like, um, Valley Girl."

    You also may remember the valley from movies like just about every porn ever made.

  • tessiee

    Ehrmahgerd, Sherman and Berman!

  • chascates

    David Ben Gurion observed that where there are two Jews, there are three opinions.

  • elviouslyqueer

    That was, like, grody and gnarly. Fer shure.

  • Toomush_Infer

    I think it was more Itchy and Scratchy…

  • tessiee

    Needs commentary by Mindy Meyer.

  • LibertyLover

    Civility. Pffft. It's so overrated.

    Know who else was civil in a recent debate?

  • ShuCityRefugee

    My helpful helpmate reminded me that the Brooks-Sumner contretemps can hardly be described as a fight: it was a near-fatal assault, wherein another sterling exemplar of South Carolinian gentility prevented others from stepping in to rescue Mr. Sumner.

  • Troubledog

    Jewfight!