legitimate rape

Adorable Right-Wing Group NFIB Displays Feminine Side By Expressing Support For Breast Cancer, Legitimate Rape

NFIB wants you to know how much they love breastsWe spent most of our lives thinking that breast cancer sucks — our mother is a breast cancer survivor, after all — but apparently we were just thinking small, blinded to the huge political opportunity that breast cancer presents for misogynist shitbags who want to appear pro-woman without actually doing anything pro-woman. Take,  for example, the NFIB (National Federal of Independent Businesses), an adorable far-right business association which spends most of its time suing Obamacare and calling Teddy Kennedy “public enemy No. One,” and which is funding the campaigns of Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin and Ed “Life-Begins-at-Conception” Emery. The NFIB! They’re so cute!

Here is a thing that women who own businesses can do: they can give money to the NFIB to give to Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin if they want to increase their PowHER. (Someone got paid to come up with that, y’all.)

Throughout the month of October, NFIB is giving away great prizes to celebrate the success of women business owners across America. And, we’re making a donation to breast cancer awareness for every woman business owner who joins NFIB during October.

Seize the powHER now by registering for the $1,000 Grand Prize and weekly giveaways, including an iPad 3, $500 Coach gift cards, a Nook tablet, and lots more!

Seize the powHER, or fight the powHER? We’ll go with that second one.


About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson
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  1. actor212

    No wait! This is a good thing, Kris.

    The more women who join the NFIB, the more actual living humans will be able to tell them to fuck off the next time they do something stupid like supporting Akin.

      1. mrpuma2u

        You can say Liar, but be advised the WSJ will then report you to Homeland security as a fringe fascist subversive.

    1. Lascauxcaveman

      You don't have to give them money to do that.

      There's letters, emails, phone calls, bricks through the window…

    2. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Prolly more like the NRA: they'll take the money of more-or-less normal people, claiming to support their interests, and then spend it promoting far-right bullshit.

    3. bobbert

      This probably faulty reasoning. I know a number of Legionnaires and NRA members who are perfectly sane, normal, humans. They have exactly zero influence over the right-wing-nutty national "leadership" of their organizations.

  2. memzilla

    The Marketing MBA who came up with "PowHER" needs to be bitch-slapped with the same cudgel that Handsome Joe used on Paul "Eddie Munster" Ryan last night. Bitch-slapped hard and repeatedly.

  3. Mumbletypeg

    PowHER. Someone got paid to come up with that

    As I contemplate Rep. Akin perfecting his slowly spreading grin that will grace his upcoming support website whose pages are replete with images of ladylike devotees, I've no doubt Herman Cain is wishing he'd thought of "PowHER" first.
    Except, I don't think it means what he thinks it means.

  4. actor212

    NFIB is giving away great prizes to celebrate the success of women business owners across America.

    But wait! I thought small business was in an absolute morass because soshalism?

  5. Roy Hobbson

    It's better than their 2011 campaign, also written by a 12-year-old boy:

    "Don't be a WHOREibble bitch! Join NFIB!"®

  6. smashedinhat

    Breast cancer awareness. Meaning what? My sister died of breast cancer before she could become a small business owner. I'm so tired of this shit.

    1. PsycWench

      The women I know have all the available vaginal probes they can manage. Sometimes they have to beat them off…no, that doesn't sound right.

  7. PsycWench

    They are very vague about what this "donation" might be. It might consist of a flaming bag of dog poop for all I know.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      I, for one, will be happy to wave goodbye to all the pink highlights in my favorite NFL teams' uniforms at the end of this month.

    2. Cleos_Mom

      That horrible pink seems to be everywhere, and I haven't heard yet about anything the group has actually done, other than slam Planned Parenthood.

  8. jodyleek

    Doesn't heart attack actually kill more women than breast cancer? It has in my family anyway. I am mostly meh on the pink ribbon thing, and I have boobs, so there.

  9. BaldarTFlagass

    "And, we’re making a donation to breast cancer awareness for every woman business owner who joins NFIB during October."

    Fiddy cent?

  10. calliecallie

    Prizes, also. Because every woman will forego her last scrap of dignity for the possibility of a new Coach bag.

  11. oenspiek

    Because $500 Coach giveaways and an iPad make breast cancer and rape A-OK.

    This guy is 'Akin' for a slapdown. With votes.

  12. Oblios_Cap

    powHER? I hardly even know her!

    Seriously, it sounds like the name of group advocationg the beating of womenz.

  13. fuflans

    this campaign has made me so fucking sick of 'small business' – and more particularly the hushed reverence with which it is discussed.

    a lot of 'small business' is people taking tax deductions to do their job in their house.

    1. bobbert

      Actually, those are small businesses. At least there is one employee. The ones that piss me off are the ones with 200 employees and $50M revenue.

  14. noodlesalad

    Relax, fellas. The ladies have to click a check-box that assures nFIB that their husbands are either dead or have given them power of attorney to run the business while they serve out their white collar time at Club Fed.

  15. LibertyLover

    Can we get over teh "pink ribbon" thingy to signify breast cancer? I mean honestly. Not all women like the color pink, I know I don't. Why not a hooters logo? That's more representative of healthy breasts than a stupid pink ribbon..

  16. SayItWithWookies

    Go ahead and donate, female businesspeople — if it's not a legitimate charity, your credit card has a way of shutting the whole thing down.

    (Not really — don't give these fuckers your money).

  17. ttommyunger

    Looks like I'm not the only one to take note of the "…impenetrable stupidity of the Electorate." – Mein Kampf.

  18. BigSkullF*ckingDog

    "PowHER. (Someone got paid to come up with that, y’all"

    Working for a company that has a marketing department has made it clear to me that 99.9% of the people who work in marketing are shockingly idiotic.

  19. GregComlish

    Republicans are always nostalgic about the days before feminists when you could just cold *POW* her

  20. UnholyMoses

    I'll just leave this right here.

    Sample a look back you look and find
    Nothing but rednecks for four hundred years if you check
    Don’t worry be happy was a number one jam
    Damn, if I say it you can slap me right here

  21. shelwood46

    An iPad3 and a Nook? Kind of reassuring that they don't support Amazon, despite the fact that Amazon sent me a "recommendation" email that recommended to me 10 different anti-Obama bumper stickers based on absolutely nothing I'd ever purchased (I don't even have a car, and I steal all my Kindle books so I've never bought a conservative book.). I complained, twice, but just got back two confused emails from customer service reps in India. But if the NFIB hates Amazon, I guess I can still buy stuff from them.

  22. punkneverdies

    This horrible rag was usually in the pile of terlet readin' at one of my previous jobs. I would have used it for toilet paper but it was too glossy.

  23. editor

    "business people against breast cancer."

    that's like boy scouts against ballroom dancing.
    or mustache-wearers against littering.
    or life coaches against chicken wings.

    i suppose we all have to have a cause.

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