What’s this, Sara Benincasa is joining us tonight, in our domicile? Does she have hair to braid? We will soon find out!
In the meantime, here is the first and last nice thing we will most likely say about Paul Ryan tonight: Paul Ryan sends copies of NOBUMMER’s birth certificate to any constituent who writes him all “WHAR KENYA WHAR,” and even before Obummer released his long-form certificate, Ryan’s office sent to those same “folks” a copy of the Hawaiian registrar’s statement about the Communist usurper’s live birth. And we think that is terrific, for reals! (GENTLEMANLY.) (We mean us.) (We’re done now though.) (Don’t worry.) (WARBLOG!!!!!)
Also too, before we start, here’s your damn drinking game:
If you are in California, Washington, DC, New York, or any of the other civilized states, smoke some legal marijuana before the debate commences.
As to the rest of you, we will occasionally yell at you DRINK for any or no reason at all. (But seriously, if Joey calls “Mr.” Ryan “junior” or “sonny” or “kiddo” or “boy,” you may do the Hokey Pokey and finish the bottle in feral joy.) And that’s it! We can’t say to drink if OHJB says “God love ya” or talks about Scranton or the Violence Against Women Act, or cries when telling the story of his family, or says “literally” about something figurative, or is magnificently romantic to Dr. Jill, because we will not be liable for your alcohol poisoning. So, you know, just use your worst judgment, and we’ll see you at nine.
5:59 PM 8:59 PM stupid Eastern Standard Time — Benincasa is in the house! And also she is out of the house! We have sent her to Fresh & Easy for liquor, because we have drunk this house dry. Maybe she will come back again? Who can ever tell???
9:01 PM — Was Libya an intelligence failure? Old Handsome Joe does not care to answer that question, but promises not to lie and pivots to Bamz ending Iraq and Afghanistan and Miffed Romney being a fussbudgety asshole about both. Has he mentioned Barry killed Bin Laden? Still, not answering the question though he is(n’t), he sounds sober and Joe-like and great.
Paul Ryan’s all nah mang they already lied about the Youtube and is mad that we didn’t have enough security. Didn’t he watch Jason Chaffetz’s interview? Uh oh, Joe is gonna bite someone’s head off, fangs bared.
9:09 PM — Oooh, looks like Joe watched Jason Chaffetz’s interview! Also? Romney’s a pud. Let him give you a list. (Joe is pissed, y’all. Said every single thing that came out of the kid’s mouth was “untrue.” He is smiling, he’s showing his choppers, but he does not mean it.) Joe’s assertion that they didn’t “know” that the embassy wanted more security does not seem … likely.
9:11 PM — Of course Paul Ryan thinks we shouldn’t pee on Taliban corpses, oh gosh yes. What is he, a lunatic? No, he is a libertarian. There is some shade of difference. (Sometimes.)
9:16 PM — Biden: “You wanna go to war? That what you want?” He is pure contempt for this whippersnapper daring to lecture him on being a joke when it comes to Iran. We are afeared of what might burst forth from his grinning skull!
9:19 PM — Biden is schooling the kid on how nukes work. It might be a while. Blah blah blah Netanyahu. Would you like to see the rainbow outside our window right now?
9:22 PM — Joe with the words of wisdom on Iran: LET’S ALL CALM DOWN HERE! Yes, let’s!
9:24 PM — Joe is now literally kissing his knuckles as Paul Ryan talks. OH KNUCKLES, he is saying, to his knuckles, SOMEDAY, KNUCKLES. SOME DAY.
9:28 PM — OK now we are on the economy we are sure Paul Ryan will not say anything that will make Joe Biden ache to punch him in his earnest puppy face?
9:32 PM — HAHAHA, why are we always SO WRONG?
9:41 PM — We are behind again, because we had to let in Sara with the wine, and then we had to go to the neighbors’ for a corkscrew. And then chicken. But SARA IS BACK, and she points out the audience is bizarrely, tensely quiet. They are probably as scared as we are. We do not like seeing Joe Biden want to murder people.
9:43 PM — Fuck it, we know we told you we wouldn’t make you drink when Joe Biden weeps for his family. But drink. (We all could use one, right?)
9:44 PM — Old Handsome Joe Biden tells Paul Ryan if he wants jobs, to get out of his and Bamz’s way. Paul Ryan responds with blah blah blah One Party Control, like Ben Nelson and Mary Landrieu were Democrats.
9:46 PM — Joe Biden can’t show you Paul Ryan’s letters begging for nasty old stimulus funds, but we can!
9:50 PM — Joe compares Paul Ryan to Sarah Palin. You betcha! (Also, drink, too.)
9:51 PM — Joe: Who do you believe, me or this snotnosed punk?
9:54 PM — Paul Ryan bullshitting about Medicare has LIT’RALLY given Joe Biden a stroke. He is gazing at the ceiling, his eyes rolling back in his head. He may start foaming. He’s furious.
9:58 PM — Have we ever told you that our son, who is now an 18-year-old dickhead, originally came to us when he was a year old, and his first mama had died? We were 22, and making $22,000 per year. The only thing that made it possible was Social Security. Listening to Paul Ryan piously spout off about how he loves Social Security Survivors Benefits while trying to dismantle the system, is making us kiss our own knuckles. Oooh, that puss. Ooh, that earnest, lying puss. Some day, knuckles. Some day.
10:01 PM — So far Joe Biden wins, for not decking that little creep in the mouth with Joe Jameson and Pops McGee.
10:06 PM — OH NOW YOU’RE JACK KENNEDY. OH SHIT OH SHIT. There is much yelling in our loft right now, like so: OH SHIT! DAAAAMN Joe Biden!! FUCK YEH.
10:08 PM — Joe Biden makes a DRAMATIC face of ORLY? like a combination of Auntie Mame and a young black woman giving you side eye. It is fairly (by which we mean completely) awesome and hilarious.
10:15 PM — Sara Benincasa is taking the reins for a while while we relax and chill the fuck out. Enjoy her!
10:17 PM — It is I, your Sara Benincasa, you fucking fucks. You stupid libruls probably think Joey Biden is wiping the floor with the handsome young man from Handsometown. Hahah, I am here to prove you wrong! (J/K, Biden is killing it.)
10:18 PM — What is all this argument about “the serge”? It is merely a fine fabric with diagonal thingies on both sides! HA! PUNZ!11!!
10:20 PM — Biden got mad at Mary Martha Maylene Magoo again!
10:20 PM — Biden just made a classic “AROO?! WHAAAAAH?!” face worthy of a Scooby Doo episode.
10:21 PM — Everybody throw your hands in the air and yell, “AFGHANS DO THE JAAAAHB! AFGHANS DO THE JAAAAHB!”
10:23 PM — Ryan majored in Smug Smirk at Face University.
10:24 PM — Your Wonkette, Rebecca, says Joe Biden is trying really hard not to reveal classified info right now, which is why he is stuttering. Probably completely accurate!
10:25 PM — Myself (the Benincasa) and your Wonkette (the Rebecca) would like to note that our vaginas feel alone and untended by these gentlemen. GIVE US OUR PRECIOUS SOCIAL ISSUES!!!111!
10:26 PM — Assad is watching at home, going, “Oh, that is so not what I would do. I would give out hugs! I just wants to give the hugs!”
10:27 PM — Someone in the audience just audibly went, “Ooh!” Or maybe it was “Whoo!” like some sort of owlish impression.
10:28 PM — Rebecca just pointed out Ryan’s Sincerity Forehead. She also points out how hard the nuns all hate Paul Ryan. “They hate him as hard as Joe Biden hates him,” she sez. HAHAHAH I AM LOL!!!111!!
10:29 PM — AHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH “BEAN” AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!111!!! Paul Ryan wins all debates forever, the end.
10:31 PM — BTW Rebecca’s ex-boyfriend calls Ryan “creepy human frog.” This is a very accurate assessment of his fucking face.
10:32 PM — Joey BiBi needs to chill with the “my friend” thing. None of us are buying it.
10:33 PM — Martha can’t stop talking about abortions. She’s been saving up for this all night long (all night! all night! all night long! all night!)
10:34 PM — Rebecca points out that JUDGES ARE SUPPOSED TO MAKE DECISIONS THAT IS THE POINT OF JUDGES PAUL RYAN.
10:36 PM — Oh yeah, sure, Ryan’s kids are gonna serve one day. Totally.
10:40 PM — Moar beans pleez.
10:41 PM — I, Benincasa, want to put Paul Ryan inside the vagina he so hates. This is a winedrunk way to say I would let him put it on me. Plus it would be extra fun to ‘bort his baby.
10:42 PM — Blah blah blah. “What could you bring as a man?” MY FAT IRISH DICK, sez the Joe Biden in my head.
10:43 PM — Joe Biden is so chill now. Did somebody slip him a sweet sweet doob that he puffed through some hidden orifice?!
10:45 PM — I want to put Joe Biden saying “Honey, it’s gonna be okay” over and over again on loop in my head during secks of all kind.
10:47 PM — The next debate is Tuesday? I need a longer refractory period to cool down from this hot hot rumblin’. YEAAAAAAAH.
In summation, everyone is a homosexual, except for Martha, everyone wins and no one loses, Jesus is the reason for the season, the end! Thanks for hanging out, you unwashed beasts! Haha, haha, also, FYI, you can hang out with Rebecca and I, Benincasa, on the Twitterz.
{ 2108 comments }
Fucker looks like Goober Pyle.
shazam!
Goober Pyle libel!
Goober was more doable than that.
He looks like the worst white frat rapper to ever come outta Massapequa.
I don't know wut Massapequa is, but I suspect it suffers a dearth of white frat rappers of any excellence.
If a space alien with no prior knowledge of Earth, of the United States, of the state of New York, crashed in a parking lot in Massapequa, it would step from it's mangled saucer, look around, and think, "Shit! I'm on Long Island."
That's some pretty knowledgeable fucking aliens right there, Missy. LongIsland, no less.
Didja ever see Brother From Another Planet?
Funny thing is, between Sunrise Mall and the train station, it's very likely that an alien crashing in Massapequa would do so in a parking lot.
The name still never fails to make me think of the Optimum commercial with Barry Bostwick, though.
Perhaps it may also help to point out that notable Massapequans include the Baldwin brothers, Candy Darling, Brian Kilmeade, and Joey Buttafuoco.
Oy, gevalt. Now you've said way more than I want to know. Although I haven't a clue who Candy Darling is. Would I want a taste?
If Goober Pyle and Count Dracula had a baby it'd look like Paul Ryan.
You know *this* is why I love you, right? RIGHT?
Full metal jacket style?
More like Eddie Munster merged with ET
Is that a real picture?
For some reason the pic of Paulie wearing the cap backwards, ear buds and doing some curls tends to make me feel like he might be auditioning for the wrong gig.
A gay friend mine has always told me that the only reason men wear a baseball cap backwards is because they are giving blowjobs. Somehow I can see him being popular in the gym shower.
Well, I was actually thinking of one of those Jersey Shore guys or whatever, but I'll take gay porn star. I just don't think that pic screams "qualified to be Vice President."
Just showed the hubster the picture. He giggled
Oh, *that's* the reason? FFS, I've been wondering about that for years now, but suddenly it all makes sense to me…
There's more…and more.
OMG it's bizarre their campaign would release these.
It's almost as if the dumbell is a metaphor for something else he might be grasping in his hand and pulling towards his mouth. If only I could work out what…
If he had a ball gag in his mouth with that little boy earnest expression it could be the makings of a HOT spanking scene…
For the record, laydezz. Is Fugelsang fuckable or just tingly? Shitgodamm.
Hummina hummina hummina
That picture puts my stomach in a knot. He looks like the smug egotist that he is.
We saw him do his show live, and I thought the wife was going to dump me on the spot for Fugelsang.
John Fugelsang, The Ecclesiastical Mook, is high on my fap list…
Oh FFS, how many people will be alienated from getting into working out because of this asshole?
Me. I swear. I will never work out again, because I do not want to be like that asshole
lol
Stick to your principles!
I'll probly weasel out before I'm in real danger of sticking to my chair.
FUCKSHIT. I pre-drank all my wine, so I've only got seltzer. And I'm watching Chromeo perform live at Daryl's house, which is really fun. Method of modern love, and all that!
I will spike my seltzer.
Yay! Sara Benincasa!Yay!
That's his secret Craigslist sexy time picture.
Lemme see here… vodka? Check. Cigarettes? Check. Righteous indignation? Check. Editrix + Special surprise guest? Check. Wonketteers? Check.
All right. Let's see if Paul Ryan actually shows up for this shit.
On Aljazeera – there is a commentator from Northern Ireland who pronounces Barack as Bark – I do not plan to watch on Al Jazeera
I love the BBC announcers who say "O'Bomber".
Kudos for the birth certificate thing Ryan, you sure you're a Republican?
Oh, yeah: forcible rape/ death of medicare / compulsive lying – check, check, and check!
Sic 'em Joe.
Only douchenozzles wear their hats like that. Douchenozzle.
Gingeriffic!
You know, they have sensitive nipples.
Ack! I haven't started drinking yet. Let me catch up.
He looks like an early '90s "rapper" in that picture.
Vanilla Ice Ice, Baby…who was also a fraud (Google him if you don't know what I'm talking about).
You got a problem? Yo, I'll privatize it.
Fred Durst, Limp Bizkit. Red baseball cap. Seriously.
Slime Shady?
AND the tail and ears to snarky!
This race is all but over, leaving this "debate" a showpiece for two serious lightweights. Warm up the mormon cider kids. Oh and by the way, only a very small part of New York is civilized. North of Manhattan is Alabama with snow and no jobs.
Trollin' hard tonight, if a mite scattershot!
Lighten up, Francis!
All but over, really? You really should take a prozac or something…just because Faux Nuuz is all butt rammey does not mean anything.
Huh. I googled "Imminent Server Failure" and ended up here.
Hello? Tap, tap, tap…
Question for Sara Benincasa.
Would you do Steve Schmidt? I am sober, but he's looking kinda good to me right now.
If not, would you do my husband? He just gave me a dirty look.
I would totally do Steve Schmidt preferably in a three-way with Mudcat Saunders, the accents would make me crazy hot.
Would uniforms be involved?
Yes, please.
Seriously, Lizzie dear one, what the fuck? I enjoy Steve Schmidt's brand of biting the hand that feeds him as much as the next girl, but that's NOT a man I'd give my royal treasure to.
Thanks for that image, LL. I'll be back as soon as I have my eyeballs removed.
Bald heads and Cunnilingus, divine.
I'm bald. Just throwing that out there.
I would not do Steve Schmidt, nor would I do your husband, because it is mean that he gave you a dirty look!!!
I gave her a warm and melting look, through the Tubes.
I hope Joe congratulates Ryan on how is marathon time is improving as he gets older.
well i have discovered the key to the most fabulous creamy risotto: 1/2 bottle of red wine.
see you all in 10….
Tease!
Do you mean you put the wine in the risotto, or you put the wine in fulflans and it makes the risotto fabulous?
oh the wine in the fuflans and more to come.
You put the wine in the coconut, then you drink it all up.
Are you on the See Enn Enn Geocities website page? They have the thing tagged as "BIDEN VS. RYAN: ONE NIGHT ONLY." Maybe it'll be an all night thing?
Look, a buffed up Screech.
Debate starts in five, can someone pull that biker chick off Joe, please.
Paul, haven't you had enough bong hits already?
Haha – that was awesome!!
Joe gets all the biker chicks he wants tonight.
Nahh, Dr. Jill just wore her leather skirt.
LET'S DO THIS!!
Warblog!!!
Curls are for dipshits. I'd Crossfit the hell out of his ass.
Crap, I tried to shoo my dogs into the other room so they would not have to listen to my copious cursing, but they are too loyal and are still sitting by my feet.
Better get them a treat or ten, to go with my beer or ten…
Callyson, it is time to get our drink on.
Cheers!
Cheers, Sugar!
Checking in from Kentuck, host state with plenty of bourbon on hand.
Rebel Yell?
Don't bother him, he's working on his glamour muscles.
I'm sure that the minute Handsome Joe suggests that your Ryan is lyin' the media will start tsktskisng and tut tuting about "tone". For fucks sake.
Last time the media was concerned he would be too hard on Snowbilly, seeing that she's a little lady. Hope Joe smashes him in the mouth … with truthisms!
Pretty much.
Let's hope he keeps his "BFD" (that Dr Biden has seen up close) in his pants.
How many of us here have no pants on?
awn mah haid!!!!!!
All of us, Katie.
THIS is why I'm supposed to READ before replying.
OTOH, great minds think alike, right?
Sort of.
Hitler?
I'm guessing ALL of us, Katie?
That's MISTER Ryan, bitches!!!
The Fresh Prince of Fuck No.
The moderator can't use the term "Congressman Ryan"?
Saving Mister Ryan…from having to admit what he does for a living…
I think she should call him "former Congressman Ryan"
Nope. Not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture.
Craigslist missed connection: To smarmy asshole in red hat- you're obviously new to this. If you want to deepthroat me, don't stare bitch. You're trying too hard.
Hey, MSNBC finally got smart–
AW FUCK, I was just going to say that MSNBC got smart and kept Tweety away, but Chris Matthews is going on as I type this. Let's see if C-Span has this on…
ETA: they do and I'm off…
You're getting something? I'm still getting "STANDING BY FOR LIVE VIDEO," like it's 1955 and we're waiting for the cartoons to start.
I've got the TV on instead of livestreaming. Just got a big screen TV a while ago and I want to see the duel in high definition…
So, should I hate watch this thing on FOX or watch on PBS and smash my head on a table everytime David Brooks speaks?
We're doing PBS. It's the safe choice.
A certain act requires him to wear the hat backwards, otherwise the visor gets in the way.
The folks at P90X should totally sue him for defamation.
I'm sure he'd just take it on the chin.
If it's your refresh that crashes the liveblog, you win a Westgate Resorts timeshare vacation and a ride on Trophy Wife!
What happened to the super duper back rub and the coupon for a Subway sammich?
Would that be the Queen of Versailles? No thanks, man.
CK:
Ole Newt has a Trophy Wife – too bad she's a Participant.
[Yes, I do think I've used that joke here before. I still think it's funny.]
Pragmatist Rule #11: Anyone over 30 who wears a baseball hat backwards is an asshole.
Also.
Oh God, I am afeared.
I'll hold you, sis.
Keep Calm and Carry Gin
Is this that kid who they make those yard decorations of? You know, the little kid playing hide and seek? Creeepy
I bet Paul Ryan insists on still calling his alma mater's mascots Redskins instead of Redhawks. He seems like the type.
I've been warming up for this by smoking weed and listening to Red House Painters "Uncle Joe" on repeat.
Sounds like the 'Algonquin roundtable' of the west coast is meeting tonight. You California girls!
OT before we get started. I get mail all the time from the United Steelworkers. I've never been a member but my late father was. Apparently they know intuitively that I am his most radical child. Anyway … I got a lovely letter from the USW prez yesterday slamming Romney. Paragraph after paragraph, taking his and Bain's inventory.
Groovy. But NOT ONCE did it ever suggest the person I should be voting for. Obama and Biden's name never appeared in the letter at all. Are they really so down on him that they don't care if I don't vote for him, so long as you don't vote for the evil Rmoney?
Don't know much election law, but if it is not from their political arm, it could be they cannot endorse a specific candidate in their literature.
Oh, that answers my question. It was just a letter from the USW president on what looked like his personal letterhead. Thanks.
May be from a PAC that goes under the law that they can not directly endorse a candidate but can attack a candidate.
Why do people think this clown is hot? He's no fucking Handsome Joe Biden.
Someone explained it as a "butterface" thing, but that only counts if Ryan lets you call him "her".
But he could totally pull off a Waffen S.S. uniform.
Nope. Not intelligent and stern enough. John Thune could though.
I'm thinking Sting or Malcolm McDowell in those black Hugo Boss Nazi uniforms, but then I'm partial to the blondies.
He also has pussy arms. Biden could kick his ass easy.
My experience is that it's the so-so looking guys who know how to turn it on in the bedroom, whereas the hot looking guys tend to be disappointing…
It's on!
Time to get started–come on, slackers, get your asses on the stage!
Even big biceps can't distract from that Wicked Witch of the West face.
Gawd, Steve Schmidit thinks he's Yoda. Ugh
I see Rachel surrounded by the Men of MSNBC. I can also see why she is non-heterosexual.
Muppet mouth
I hope Joe Biden doesn't take advantage of Paul Ryan's youth and inexperience.
I think I read a slashfic about that happening
I can't get a good livestream, and then my Safari crashed. Fuck. This doesn't bode well.
Red carpet treatment. They must be expecting blood.
Who are the women (or men) who want to get lost in those blue eyes??? Dude looks like a lipless Kathy Griffin.
Watching on CSPAN, cuz I'm a purist.
Showtime!
Sweet Uncle Joe vs. "The Scowl" :(
Sara! Hunterdon Central represent!
Hey Paul Ryan showed up! Drink!
OH YEAH she said "Congressman Paul Ryan." You can run but you can't hide from your title, fucker!
And Biden called him "the Congressman" ALL NIGHT LONG!
Benincasa and Commiegirl together? Screw the debate, let's fap!
Why can't you do both?
Here we go! Paul looks tiny in that chair. Especially his head part.
Well — Martha just disclosed her partisan bias by calling Paul "Congressman." O the disrespect.
God bless her for that one.
Oh God, Libya. I don't think I can handle the politicization of that from an asshole whose party voted to cut embassy security.
Is Martha Raddatz drunk?
She' being a bitch.
I am.
Awesome.
Biden's hair looks like a Chia Pet™.
His hairline looks more filled in than it did last time when you could see each transplant scar.
SHIT! Ryan is wearing a bigger flag pin than Joe, just like Egghead wore a bigger pin then the President.
I call total Flag Bullshit.
He's just hiding behind his flag pin. Plus it distracts from the giant honker.
This pin shit is for pussies. I wish some poiticians would nut up and say, "We don't need no stinkin' flag pins."
We cannot let there be a Flag Pin Gap!
S'okay- unlike R/R, the Dems don't need to overcompensate for chopping veterans' programs.
Ohhhh, Sara
what do you do to these men?
You know the same Rowdy Crowd that was here last time
is back again!
Way OT and almost too late, but happy cephalopod awareness week!
Thanks! It was Fun and I did my part: Way over at Wonkville the first 6 "Hot" stories and all about Cephalopods!
None of that Libya stuff would've happened if we had stayed in Iraq — this clearly has Saddam's fingerprints on it.
Best Tweet of the day:
Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt
Somewhere in America, Joe Biden is doing CAPE FEAR-style bar dips while Nazareth's "Hair of the Dog" blasts from the stereo.
Let's go, Joe!
(Please, please, please)
God, Ryan's smile is even smarmier than usual. I am already sick of this asshole and he hasn't even spoken yet…
Seriously, I can't look at that &)*(&_!
Ben Gazarra has a consulate in Libya?
Joey is taking a good, serious tone here. Good so far.
Romney looks kind of like Pvt. Gomer Pyle. And I don't mean that in a good way.
Paul Ryan is all furrowed brow and lipless.
The very definition of weasel, he is.
Martha said "Congressman"
Paul Ryan has really big eyes. He looks like Christopher Lloyd at the end of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? You know, when he's being dipped?
I just lost my satellite signal due to a rain/hailstorm. Fuckin' desert.
Ryan's spouting this shit that Assity and the rest of the right has been going on about — not that they minded when the Dubya minions lied to them and later claimed it was in the interest of national security. This assholism is just ridiculous.
Is there a technical term for that little 'Eddie Munster' hair valley in his middle forehead?
widow's peak
Cause that's where she hit him, to become a widow.
Zombie eyed granny starver voted against funds for State Department. Fuck you.
"Shouldn't we have a marine attachment guarding our ambassador in Libya?"
Yes–how about we get on that, and your fucking party reverses its vote to cut security funding for embassies?
Asshole.
It's not just Ryan's creepy eyes and ears — the massive, misshapen nose is also extremely hard to look at. What is he talking about?! Blah blah blah.
Smarmy bastard
Oh, Joe, I love you.
Ryan must have been shitting his pants before the debate. Does anyone else think his testes sound like they are about the size of a picholine olive? Oh, god, I don't think I can ever enjoy those again.
Smuuuuuuuuuuug fuuuuuuuuuuck die die die die, with votes.
Ryan: "We will call terrorist attack for what it is." That's a new lesson since Dubya who called a terrorist attack an Iraq attack.
We don't have a status of forces agreement because we wanted to get the hell out of Iraq, dumbass. Sorry about your global empire.
Joe is about to slam him, don't bring up Beau Biden, or Bo Obama for that matter.
Or banana-fana-fo Biden, for that matter.
OMG! Ryan just mentioned Biden's lesbian son! CHENEY LIBEL
We owe the troops a great deal of gratitude. Not at the RNC or anything, but you know, thanks or whatever.
I love this comment. I'm going to gay marry it.
HA! Love that inimitable Biden "you're so full of shit, Paul" smile!
Joe is laughing, is that bad?
Not when it's handsome Joe.
I love me some Joe laugh.
Oh, kiss up to the veterans. But you won't vote for programs that would help them.
Oh, you want to talk about projecting weakness abroad, Lyin' Ryan? Where were you when we needlessly invaded Iraq and lost sight of bin Laden?
Biden looks like he wants to smack Ryan. Already.
I know that I do.
Great. This debate is starting out boring, just like the last one. BORINGNESS.
Me, too. He can't stop smiling!
I'm confused, too. Is the Biden grin a good or bad thing given the topic?
Kill him, Joe – with words of course.
Joe is laughing at Paul. In all fairness, so am I.
I wonder what Andrew Sullivan is hyperventilating about.
"On that same day, the Obama Administration had the same position." Total lie. As if Obama accused himself of sympathizing with those who burn Embassies.
Ooooh, evil laugh from Joey–he's got a trump card in 3…2…1…
Fucker lying already. About the Cairo statement.
I want to get a pack of hippies to tackle and hold down Ryan so I can shave off his little pointed hair thing… you know, a Romney style hair cut.
I so fuckin' hate this asshole.
Never too early to say something stupid!
Bunch of Malarkey! Yay!!!!!!
YES YES GO VP GO
OH SNAP
BRING IT!!!!!!!!!!
Malarkey! I LOVE malarkey.
JOE ATTACKS!!!!
Malarkey! Drink!
YES! Joey is on it regarding the cuts to embassy security!
LIAR! Point: Old Handsome Joe!
Malarky! Drink?
Smile big, Joey. Ya look good, chief.
Get 'em, Joe.
Release the Biden!
Nice catch phrase.
Who let the dogs out? Who? Who?
Joey did, muthafuckas!
Seriously, tonight was a beautiful sight…
"We should not go imposing these devastating defense cuts" — Ryan
Right — the terrorists are all over our not having 256 air tankers in ten years — it's basically waving the white flag in front of them.
Handsome Old Joe calls MALARKEY. That's it, Joe. Come out punching.
Ryan's Amurkin flag thingy is bigger than Biden's flag thingy. Debate over.
Malarky!!
"With all due respect, that's a bunch of Malarkey".
That's my Vice President. Right there.
OOOOOH Yes. that is what I want. Malarkey! NOTHING he has said has been true and Joe's gonna say so TO HIS FACE! His wrinkledy weird little face. God I love OHJoe!
I think this blog just got all NC-17 on us, folks.
She's talking about the face on his *big* head, honest.
I was unaware he had more than one.
The fine teacher who taught our boys in high school assured us that there was a big one and a little one, and that most boys thought with the little one.
Make him grin big, Joe!! That's when the fucker is the ugliest!
A bunch of Malarkey! If that's not a call for a shot Scotch, I never heard one!
I'm all over it, Pats. Oban for all!
Biden calls bullshit in the first five minutes. For the muther.fuckin.win.
Oooo…Malarkey! I can't wait until he pulls out "shenanigans."
Is that where we go for the Irish Whiskey?.
Uisquebaugh.
And "hogwash."
YES!!!
The security budget!
Congressman mofo!
Who is this chick, again?
That "chick" is well-respected reporter Martha Radditz.
Not a single thing he said is accurate.
This is not a debate. This is an interview.
It's called the Fog of War
I drink to Malarkey!!!
Reagan!, drink!!
Oh yeah Joe called him on being liar.
As they learned more facts they changed their assessment
Oh, well, no wonder Ryan is confused by how the Obama administration handled Libya…
That side picture of Ryan made him look like the ferret he is.
Fuck. I'm going to end up smoking 19 packs of cigarettes before this thing is over. This smarmy little fucker is already pissing me off.
He is a noisome little shit, ain't he?
"That's not presidential leadership."
That's what I'm talkin' about!
What about pissing on burning Korans? To save them?
Oh, gosh. Fuck you
"Standing up for our values!" Drin… oh never mind.
Oh fuck, this business about when the US should apologize. What a dumb ass non issue…
It's up there with "Why do you hate America?"
So is the Wonkette going to break the intertubz tonite? Inquiring mi
Error 404 Not Found
No doubt.
Ryan's looking like he don't know what the fuck he's talkin' about.
And Handsome Joe's laughing at him
And this surprises you.
The little twerp is not a president, ever.
Oh, yeah!
Gosh yes, gee, lady. Sure we oughta apologize.
I'm sorry- did someone not "speak up for our values? Srsly?
Ryan is horrible at this.
I'm just gonna drink every time he says "Marines." See ya'll at my wake!
Noooo! Don't leave wivout the rest of us!
Al Qaeda and its affiliates are on the rise in Northern Africa.
And you know who else is from Africa?
Haile Selassie?
Idi Amin?
The dearly departed Manute Bol?
Mobutu Sese Seko?
King Sunny Ade!
Fela Libel!
Maybe we SHOULD apologize for supporting the previous Egyptian regimes.
"Al Qaeda is on the rise in Libya and we didn't give our ambassador a Marine detachment?"
Gee Paul — maybe there are more facts that would just make your statement look stupid — not that you would notice.
FFS, exactly when has Obama apologized for standing up for American values?
Thank God the moderator is changing the topic…
OK — second time at the mike for old Joe, and first blood. "A load of malarkey". If I weren't sitting in a bar, I'd be dancing around the room. Looking good, I think.
The biggest national security this country faces isn't Iran, it's the Republican party.
Loses his train of thought. Can't develop his calves. Fuckin Ryan.
Political ping-pong over Benghazi = nobody wins.
Apologizing? Yeah, that's in Das Kapital alrighty.
Now THIS is a moderator.
Pssst – Joe! Don't admit that we had bad intelligence!
Pssst – Fuckwad! You don't get to blame the POTUS for ignoring pleas for higher security at the Embassies when YOU voted down funds for higher security at the Embassies.
Dr. Jill says Joe's got a nuclear weapon in his pants.
in my dreams
Doncha fekkin' love him? He can fissile material me all night long.
Radditz is a big improvement as a moderator.
Yes, she's good.
She's good and you gotta love how she keeps calling Ryan "congressman"
Ryan is not about to answer the question about the (in)effectiveness of a military strike on Iran…
Asshole.
We should apologize for our Value Meals, though.
We really should.
Ryan just said Iran has enough fissile material to make five bombs? Is he fuckin' crazy? I think he's talking about North Korea in 2004.
Iran had been 5 years away from nuclear weapons capability since 1989. Truth.
Ol' Handsome Joe drilled that one right between Lyin' Ryan's eyes.
"I will nuke your government retirement and senior healthcare plan first. Then we will annihilate Iran's nuclear capabilities."
Here is where I miss McCain. Given the question on Iran, McCain would have gone into the whole "I want to kill" speech from Alice's Restaurant.
Wow. He listens to Alex Jones!
Ryan's done. Clear and specific? He didn't know that was going to be required! Unfair!
Joey, I know it's tempting, but don't sigh openly–remember Al Gore. Rise above it and kill Lyin' Ryan with facts and you'll be fine…
When Romney says his options are on the table, he's talking about his stock options.
We need to solve this peacefully by bombing them!
Awesome Tweet:
LOLGOP @LOLGOP
REMINDER: Joe Biden is the first American vice-president in over a decade who hasn't shot another human being in the face.
That you know of
(Hey, I know some of you gals and maybe some of you guys have your Handsome Joe fantasies…)
Biden's grin, on the other hand, is delightful!
Ooooooooooooh, that evil laugh again. Can't wait to hear Joey now…
Joe's looking at him like "what the fuck bullshit you spouting, boy?"
You're here!!!!!
i think ryan is actually worse than palin.
there i said it.
It's true. For all her word salads, she had more presence on stage.
I agree with you both and been saying if fordamnever. But I am from WI so have seen more of Ryan than the rest of you ever should.
True. I hate to admit it, but Sarah was frighteningly good in the demagoguish department. Ryan tries to get by on "charm" (which he really ain't got that much of) and smarm (which he's got aplenty, but fuck me if it ain't a turnoff).
He strikes me as a cocksucker (and not of the good kind).
I sure as hell wouldn't put Mister Happy into that lipless slit of a mouth.But yeah. He's the kind of guy who SO wants to suck your dick but only because he thinks he'll get something out of it. So will you, but it's usually something you *don't* want, like the clap.
That's a bold statement!
Yeah, he's smirkin' but not flirtin'.
When is Ryan gonna shutthefuckup?
Every time Joe laughs, I laugh, and I wait for the smackdown. BOOM
I say let the free market deal with Iran.
I just loved me some Biden chuckle.
"Republican congress" tee hee
Obama blocking the sanction to Iran? WTF?
Take over that table Joe!
Handsome Joe is reassuring. And handsome.
I'm listening on the radio and it sounds like Ryan keeps sighing and clearing his throat like a little brat.
He's smirking, too.
A Romney administration (shudder) would have a lot of (really wretched terrible)things, credibility ain't any of them. Can you fucking imagine? Of ALL words, CREDIBILITY?
Big gulp of water…Ryan looks scared…
Let's hope he took the astronautrix's fashion hint and wore his Depends.
Joe be schooling the boy on Iran.
Keep chuggin' that Zima, Paul!
My husband is afraid of Joe's teeth. Wuss.
They are awesomely Chiclet white. Joe's teeth, not your husband. I don't know if that describes your husband or not.
Oh god it's not a fair fight is it?
Tell 'em Joe. Israeli Intel sez so too.
Love how Biden is pressing the point on how the US and Israel agree on the Iran bomb issue…
"What are they talking about?", indeed, Mr. Biden. We're wondering the same thing.
Yay Joe — Ryan is full of shit and Joe's the guy to say that clearly.
At the end of this debate Joe needs to set Paul on his knee and tell him he did pretty good for a kid.
Ryan is talking about credibility. Ryan is taking about credibility . Rya…bollocks bollocks bollocks.
OT of Iran, did everyone read the news about the Maersk embargo? Like it or not, that's a kidney punch.
Ryan is using his puppy dog face. Joe should reach over and scratch his nose.
Ahem, Iran is kinda having trouble with the sanctions. By trouble, I mean riots
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/04/world/middleeas…
Also, STUXNET, bitches!!!!
How to prevent war? Tax breaks!
"These are the most crippling sanctions in the history of sanctions. Period. Period."
~Joe Biden~
OK, Ryan's starting to trip over his own dick. Nice.
Also they will outlaw booze!
Martha keeps calling him Congressman. She is in the tank for Obama!
Let's look at this from the view of the ayatollahs
That should be easy for a member of the American Taliban like Ryan…
Every time Biden smiles an angel gets it's wings.
Paul Ryan is actually word-salading here!
Stop reading John Clancy, Paul Lyin.
OH SNAP!
Carl Jung knows who wins this.
Smilin' Joe!
Am I crazy or is Ryan in word salad mode?
At least by radio, Handsome Joe sounds much smarter than Junior.
cartoon bomb libel!
All this loose talk! Zing.
What is the view from the Iatola?
After that last one I can't take this one. I overheard ryan saying "oh gosh!"
from the tv in the other room and that just about gave me a fucking coronary.
Nuclear spring? Is that Arab Spring 2.0?
Martha's good.
Love the moderator pushing back on Ryan's rambling about how we need to change the Iranians' mind. Now, if only she would give Biden equal time here…
Go Joe Go!
'Kay guys, my Telly's crapping out on me so I'm a little out of the loop here. What'd I miss?
Biden kicked ass. Go ahead and get a good night's sleep…
Old Handsome Joe grins at Eddie Munster's comments. Especially when Ryan says stuff like, "We've got to get (Iran) to change their minds."
Joe is an Alpha male! Paul is not.
I think PBS said Biden's made over 6,900 train trips (mainly back to DE, to get to his family after the tragedy they had). I don't see Ryan in anything but a private railway car. And not enjoying that.
In 2008, if I remember correctly, there was video at the convention with the conductor who used to see him on the train everyday commuting to DC.
Stop letting that pipsqueak answer first. GET IT UNDER CONTROL!
They're spinning the centrifuges faster. We must make them go slower!
Raddatz says Netanyahu's "red line" happens this spring. Oh, and Ryan just finished bitching about how we should agree with Israel on everything. I'm so glad our president isn't committed to Israel regardless of how crazy the PM at the time is.
Oh Joe, I could hug you for going after Ryan on Bebe.
A BUNCH OF STUFF!!! DRINK!!!
When he shows his teeth, look out.
Oh, Joe has GOT this thing. Game over, man.
I told you he would pull rank like a boss.
This is all a bunch of stuff!
…and nonsense!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAuwbBPQZnw
Nice.
Bull-fucking-stuff!
Oh, Joe, you are crushing this little insect!!!!
"This is a bunch of stuff"
Too bad Joey isn't on Wonkette, where he could say exactly what he means…
Why are Ryan's eyes so red? Does he think we won't see that behind his nose?
OHJB: This is a buncha malarkey.
New slogan: "This is a bunch of stuff! Obama/Biden"
Malarkey would have been the word to have for the drinking game.
Irish Malarkey! Drink! A lot.
Both my grandfathers are dead, so I hereby nominate Joe Biden to replace them. (Once he stops cozying up to the MPAA and RIAA, that is.)
"I am Bibi's daughter's godfather!! Bibi and I chase women together, although I throw 'em back because I love Jill! Don't fuckin' talk to me about Bibi, Kid."
Next Joe will whisper 'can you believe this guy'!
That Oh God, was the best.
Handsome Joe sounds a lot like Fred Willard in "Best In Show".
He's making the Smirker heel.
Facts matter. BOOM.
Thanks heavens we have these sanctions in place
The same sanctions you were dissing two minutes ago, Ryan? Bitch, please…
I know. OHJB trapped him so neatly with that one. I don't think the fucker even realized what had happened as he watched his sliced ass fall slowly to the ground.
I'm 4 years closer to my next colonoscopy, too.
FACTS MATTER!!
Loose talk Malarky, LMAO
"You're a foreign policy expert, Martha. FACTS matter." Zing, Joe! Zing!
Biden: Facts matter.
Ryan: Facts? Matter?
Facts matter, Martha!
kapow!
Facts matter!
This is a bunch of stuff. Irish.
That was cute. His mouth said "stuff." His eyes said "shit."
FACTS MATTER!!11!
Biffster-Bean! Give 'em hell.
MOAR SHOUTY!!
So was it good for you, MittBorg?
I'm having a very nice afterglow right now.
RRRowr, darling. Absolutely Rrrowr.
Yup. It's still goin'!
As a matter of fact, it kinda makes me want to go for a night on the town…
I fell in love with Joebiden all over again tonight.
Can't find you on Wonketz, hope this gets there.Yeah, me too. He was great.
I changed my avatar in honor of Joe Cool, so look for Snoopy in shades instead of the choking chicken, who will return subsequently.
Not. True.
Joe is just burning Ryan
FACTS MATTER BITCH!
Sorry, sonny.
Did Joe just say Oh god damn under his breath? I know he did, I know it. Just, oh god damn Paul Ryan you and your bullshit, just bullshit. And don't be talking about what's Irish. I give a shit what your name is. Just, no.
Girl, you sharpened yourself up with a crate of the best gin, or something. You are on fucking FIRE tonight.
"Malarky" is going to beat "literally" tonight
…huh?
Malarky to literally: Bitch, please…there is only one Queen of Snark, and that would be me…
Joe is literally fighting back an actual laugh.
Pretty sure "credibility" was on Ryan's word-a-day calendar today.
Moderator is trying again to get Ryan to answer the question on using military power in Iran. He is refusing to answer it again.
PLEASE, MSM, please call this fucker out on his weaseling ways…
I think I could take Joe Biden as my lawyer.
Facts matter! Not True! Go Joe!
Facts matter, Gomez.
Gates ! Gonna dis Gates?
"And if we have to take action, we will have the rest of the world behind us — that matters."
Yes! Remember when our president's motto was "Let them hate us, so long as they fear us?" Guess what — the Democrats' foreign policy of not treating every nation like it needs to be taken down produces better results.
Biden to GOP: Eat Stuff & Die (with votes!)
I haven't heard about the Ayatollah since 1979, did Eddie Munster see "Argo"?
Okay this is painful. Too late to nominate Palin?
This guy is so out of his depth.
If it was written by Ayn Rand, Eddie Munster doesn't know about it!
"That is a bunch of…stuff."
OHJB narrowly avoids saying "bullshit" on live television.
Now THAT, Mr. VP, is magnificent condescension.
"Fact matter" is already the line of the night.
I think it should be the Obama campaign slogan.
Bat Boy has proven his knowledge of what people think.
I keep thinking I'm going to get a nuclear weapon, but does anyone take me seriously?
DAMN IT, moderator, give Joey equal time!
Is Martha going to address all questiond to Fuck head Ryan?
Bam!
Oh, Paul, do TELL us ladies what's worse! Lecture us from your brilliant foreign policy cloud of brilliance!
Just send him a picture of a pussy captioned "I found your nose. It was in my bizniss."
Your comment could only be improved by being typeset over a picture of Condescending Wonka.
I may be mistaken–he changes his mind so often
NICE, Joey!
nice dig about mind changing!
Paulie Boy… when we go all "all options are on the table" aka "we're gonna bomb y'all," the first thing the Ayatollah says is "hey, maybe I should get, I don't know, a nuclear weapon to protect ourselves".
"He changes his mind so often, I could be wrong." I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE NOW
"He changes his mind so often..' Bless you, Joe!
"If they get nukes, everyone in the neighborhood will want 'em! It's like when my Dad got a new Weber Genesis with 9 burners!"
I just love how Biden habitually puts emphases on each word in a sentence. "We. Will. Not. Bomb. Iran." "I. Do. Not. Think. We……"
"Big nations can't bluff, this president doesn't bluff." That left claw marks.
Biden basically just threw out the Etch-A-Sketch accusation. This is amazing.
"Look, Martha, Guvnah Rmoney changes his mind so much…"
So, Biden is just going with genial asshole tonight. I can take that. Ryan seems in retreat mode. Still have a long way to go.
Pace yourself!
The life of a Wonketter is always intense.
Plate of shrimp.
The life of a Wonketeer is not always glamorous, but it is rewarding.
I could really go for some yellow cake right about now.
nom nom nom
If I'm not mistaken, "Bibi" should have been our drink word. Mogen David!
Unemployment isn't foreign affairs, Blondie!
Rebecca and Benincasa and rainbows, it's like a fantasy come true.
Yes, but heaven on earth would be Jennifer Granholm debating Connie Rice and the Wonkettes having hot lady sex while they blog…
Biden sounds like The Only Adult In The Room from where I'm listening
Same here. Hope it's not just the radio effect.
No, he looked that way, too.
Martha Raddatz was there too.
I forget how many months straight of private sector job growth we've had under Obama. Joey, can you remind me?
47%!!!! Drink up homies!
47% woohooo!
47% of the American people — oh yeah, OHJB went there!! ZING!!!
Isn't the last name pronounced "Rebozo"?
OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! 47%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh no Joe is bring up facts about the economy. Oh yeah let Detroit go bankrupt. And the 47%
47% Drink!!
Scranton, drink!
Oh, shit! Get 'im Joe!
Put a Hitler mustache (and a little less nose) on Ryan and he'd look just like Bashar Assad.
There it is! There it is! Let Detroit go bankrupt! Wooo! Damn Joe you are good baby, you are good.
foreign policy was a gimme to uncle joe.
and it worked. he's on his game and little lord ryan is backfooted.
rock on.
Ohoh. Ryan's flag pin is bigger.
And now the 47 percent. Biden paid attention to what Obama didn't do and then doubled it.
Tell him! TELL HIM, JOE!!!!
TAXES! DRINK!
We should be hearing 47% over and over again, every day. We should be sick of hearing that by now. I'm glad someone in the Obama admin has decided to use it.
$1.6 trillion dollars lost in recession. That's like $50 to rich people
God, it's fun to watch a good guy with a big penis.
Get em JOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
47%. DRINK!!!!
Okay, Telly's working now, and oh god, Joe had better keep talkin'!
Go on, Joe, slap that little twat with the back of your hand!
I just had a Joe-gasm
Lesson: Don't fuck with the old guy, lightweight.
He's ON FIRE!
"I was at the 47%'s niece's wedding last week! Don't fuckin' talk to me about the 47%, Kid!"
Joe is hitting his stride. Keep saying "47%"
Biden is On Fire. Good. He's sounding almost as pissed off as I am.
He did good, huh?
God damn — I'm taking Joe to Thanksgiving to give my great-uncle what for.
Norquist = DRINK! (koolaid)
Instead of signing pledges to Grover Norquist, sign one for the middle class…no different rules for Wall Street and Main Street
Love it! Go Joey!
Slamming Grover Norquist and appealing to the middle class. Joe is burning this up.
Joe starting to drink Ryan's milkshake already.
Honey, he drank it up, pissed it all over Ryan, and wiped his dick on the kid's hair.
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge
Oh, feck! The 47%!!! And the debate is over 25 minutes after it began. Watch Barry O rip Willard a new one next week. I am giggling like a schoolgirl.
Yahoooo! You go Joe. Who's Big Dog now. Eat shit Ryan and die.
I meant "die" with votes, of course.
We all knew that.
Joe, save some punches for later, man!
Straight outta the Janesville Country Club!
Joe wants the Reeps to take responsibility…good luck with that…
Joe is firing up! 47%
STATISTICS!! GO JOE!!
Ryan says Scranton first! Can I drink?
Scranton kicks Janesville's ASS.
Janesville is a girl's name. Not that there is anything wrong with that, Leslie!
Wow some fight back from Biden. I love this guy.
I am about ready to stand, salute Biden, and start singing "America the Beautiful". Holy SHIT that was devastating.
I'm here, and slower than the year before.
Joe mentions Reagan, Ryan mentions Scranton. Will dogs be sleeping with cats tonight?
What a coincidence! My drink is 47% alcohol.
And mine is 53%.
Hell, any cask strength bourbon folks in the crowd? I'm mighty partial to Booker Noe. Of course, I'll drink whatever you have; I'm not a snob.
What day is this
My drink is from the productive glasses.
And Ravitz goes for the save of Ryan.
radditz and i think she's not saving private ryan.
Rabbits?
This is the only time Ayn Rand Nazi will ever, ever say the word "poverty"
#WrongAgainRyan is trending on the twitter machine
Ryan's town is 10%.
My town is under 6% and has a tree hugging liberal governor.
5-point plan? Whatever you say, Honorable Chairman.
I never really understood the appeal of humiliation porn before tonight
50 Shades of Biden.
Car Elevator Guy! Here comes the Bullshit!
Oh, please, America. I can't live with this twerp as the vice president.
Yeah, this guy makes Dan Quayle look like Churchill.
Joe's about ready to punch the little munchkin.
So am I.
for that voice alone.
How come Ryan's bitching about how slow the recovery is going instead of standing up and taking a fuckin' bow for it? If he hadn't gutted the stimulus and opposed the jobs bills, we wouldn't be here. That's his own legislative activity he's complaining about.
Just pulling numbers out of his ass is all he's got. "Five point plan". We'll tell you how later.
Biden could barely suppress his giggle when Ryan said Romney is a "car guy"!
Paul, stop talking about Mitt being a car guy. You're giving OHJB an opening to alk about outsourcing!! LOL
I would kill if just one fucking moderator would point out what every economist knows–unemployment is a lagging indicator, meaning that it is the last thing to bounce back. So it is not surprising that it is taking longer than anyone wants to recover…
(Don't even get me started on the government layoffs boosting the unemployment figures–I don't have enough alcohol to get me through that rant…)
Don't worry, I am screaming at the tv about that (they don't seem to be hearing me)
Don't talk to Joe about fucking car crashes, ryan!
Oh, don't talk about car crashes, Paul…
I told you not to do it, Paul.
Mitt Romney is a car guy.
Caddies. A couple of them.
Car elevator guy, he means.
SANTA MITT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
These guys think "small business" is someone with 250 employees and $5M in receipts. Meanwhile, they're literally giving away the store to the big boxes, shutting down the REAL small businesses.
Goober's trying to save with the Mittens is so nice, Joe looks highly entertained
this is not funny what the fuck is Ryan doing bringing up a car crash?
Uh, Paul Ryan, better hope you can make those marathon numbers for realz.
Ryan talking about a car crash. Can I say he's officially out of ideas?
Aw Mitt gave money to other Mormons. He cares about a 100% of Mormons.
Economies growin', Paul. Unemployment is going down. Please entertain me by trying to make that sound bad.
Ooooooh, Paul accidently mentioned Detroit and Mitt in the same sentence! He'll regret that!
Mitty bought someone some stuff. Meh.
Let me tell you about the Romney I know. He has a dancing horse. How fucking hot is that? And a car elevator. Bitch is rich, that is all I'm saying.
MITTENCLAUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mitts a car guy, Martha, doodes got ah fucking car elevator. Total car guy…
Sorry about these kids being paralyzed, BUT SO FUCKING WHAT? What was the question even?
But then Paul, your words come out of your ass.
What the fuck is Ryan talking about!? "The Nixons"?!
Romney's "charity" is his ticket to heaven.
Kick him in the balls under the table for that one
This is embarrassing.
Ryan's Eddie Munster 'do is in fine form tonight.
I pretty sure that pointy little twilight merkin on his forehead is blocking his third eye.
Mitler sent the Nixon children to college?
I always say what I mean! And so does Romney, Winnah!!
I dunno, Ryan, Romney did say he didn't care about that 47 percent of America…
Mitt visits people's homes on Christmas? It's not like he's at home, worshiping Jesus.
He retroactively visits them.
After they're dead.
I always say what I mean, and so does Romney.
Yeah, I heard him slip that in sotto voce. Nicely done, OHJB!
47%!
He SHOULD pay for someone's college. He could buy a college.
Called him young!
Drink!
Now the Romney as a human being story.
Let it go bankrupt!
Sorry, I don't consider donating to a church charity in the same way I consider donating to Doctors Without Borders charity.
Church charity doesn't count when you don't let anyone outside of your church inside your church. That's ticket to heaven money.
Correct!
Attempted One-Liner Hit by Ryan! Super-Parry by Biden! "I always say what I mean!"
Mitt's a car guy! Like the Magliozzi brothers.
Guys I am stealing internet to watch the debate (proud 47%er), but living streaming CSPAN is slow as balls. Just please tell me: Are we winning?
ZINGERS! Zingers, I tell you.
Ryan, don't bring up CAR CRASHES to OHJB, who lost his first wife and little daughter in an accident. WTF you lose, sucka.
Oh, slaughter: right here, right now.
Biden talking about a car crash which is 47% more touching .
I love the way Joe laughs at junior and says:"oh, God!"
Look at Joe schooling the little shit!
That "zinger" about Scranton fell flat, son.
Willard gave more to charity than both OHJB and the fraggle? Right, that charity would be his tithings to the Mormon Church. Asshole.
Hasa Diga eebowai
Yeah!
Yeah it's not like Mitt's little tirade about the 47% was a one-word slip-up — it was an drawn-out paragraph about how the people who don't pay federal income tax feel entitled to everything from the government and can't ever be persuaded to take responsibility for themselves. Literally.
Are we voting for the person with the biggest sob story? If this continues I am going to bed crying tonight.
Let's hope a fist fight breaks out.
If that were the case OHJB would be permanent king of the USA. Not ONE of other three guys can even approach the VEEP in the awesomenest dad, back from the saddest ever.
Mitt Romney will sit with me if I ever (((shudder))) have to eat tuna pasta casserole.
If only Biden could force a tear while talking about his wife, the election would be over.
I think I saw one.
I don't think the pain of losing a child or a family member ever really goes away. At least it didn't for my parents, who could weep almost as brokenly in their late 70s over the death of my sister as they did when it first happened.
For sure. My mom was and is shattered by my sister's death, and clearly always will be. And since Day One–actually, before–I could not/cannot bear the thought of losing one of my spawn. Nothing could be more crushing.
It was strange to see them break down so completely sixty years after the event. They wept. I only ever saw them cry like that the day they found out she died.
It doesn't. My Uncle committed suicide a couple years ago, and while we've gone on with our lives it never truly goes away. My Grandmother, bless her heart, was hit the hardest, and though she's put on a brave face she's only just starting to recover from it.
Oh god I am so fucking sorry. That is hard. Your poor grandmother. Suicide seems like such a rejection, but it's not really, it's just … sometimes life is too painful to put up with any more.I send your grandmother many kind and loving thoughts to heal her pain maybe just a little.
Thanks MittBorg. Unfortunately, my uncle was an alcoholic who'd been clean for many, many years but fell back into it sometime after his divorce. I don't know too much about what was going on, but I think his ex-wife was trying to use their son in order to hurt him; I say that, because she certainly tried to use him against us after my uncle passed.
My Grammie's a tough bird, and she's tried to put on a brave face, but she's had a hard time keeping things together since. Thankfully, she is strong, and she's started making a better effort to take care of herself lately.
Romney once raised a car accident victim from the dead because he was so generous with his money. He makes Mother Theresa look like a piker.
Romney once raised a car accident victim from the dead because he was so generous with his money. He makes Mother Theresa look like a piker.
Ryan "misspoke". He meant to say Bishop Romney baptized the dead car accident victim.
Love that Ryan's flourish with the pen when Joe first started–it's like he took the entire attention of the viewer with that.
Romney looked down on the poors and said
“Let them have college!”
Here's a one for you Joe, at least I don't make "gaffes" about "those people" scrounging for food, a roof and healthcare when I'm pimping for $50 Thou a plate with the audio on!
Yes–go on about the private sector jobs and how the Reeps need to get out of the way!
Mr President, watch and learn…
great segue, boom! into the auto industry from the personal stories.
"If they'd get outa the way…" that's what we're talkin' about.
"I meant what I said, whatever it was"
"show me something" nice. also, drink!
Mitt gave some money to a family one time for a photo-op! ECONOMY SOLVED.
Stop talking about how you care about people and actually do it. Joe is the zinger machine!!
Joe Biden is eating Eddie Munster's lunch. Hot damn!
Ooh, Biden is whacking Ryan's hand with a shoe over the auto industry, like Nicholson beating Matt Damon in "The Departed"!
Joe is brilliant tonight.
I'm completely in love with Joe Biden right now.
Oh ho ho, Biden's got his Moxy up tonight!
Two wars, please. I'll use the Amex.
Show me a policy!
This is an utter slaughter. I almost feel bad fo–HAHAHA no I can't even finish that sentence.
As Bill Mahr said, George Bush left a flaming pile of shit on the White House steps.
Ryan should have stayed on the porch with the little dogs, he's getting creamed.
Just fucking creeeeeeeeeeemed……..
If I have to look at the zombie eyed granny starver for the next four years…. well…. I may just drink more or less than I do now.
OMFG bringing up kids hurt in a car crash with JOE BIDEN? Ballsy.
Exactly my thought. Some one wasn't thinking
Stupid.
That was a seriously shitty example for him to use. Thoughtless douche.
THIS DEBATE ISN'T BORING ANYMORE.
Joe is drinking Mr. Ryan's milkshake.
joe is so drinking mr ryan's milkshake.
What th–…?
Isn't that some kind of sex thing?
lolz now #malarkey is trending.
Excellent.
It's even a gif: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbrbisTVpr1rno7…
No, fucker, we did not have the power to do everything at our choosing–you assholes set up a record number of filibusters, for one thing…
"let's not forget that this party came in with one-party control."
That's your retort against that verbal onslaught, Paul Ryan? Your rhetoric is as sickly as your complexion.
OHJB is Barry O's ass- ripping proxy tonight.
Mmm….green pork
Oh, shut up you welfare leeching granny killer.
According to Maddow, Martha Raddis is not supposed to call Paulie "Congressman" in the contract agreement.
She's totally Raddisical
Yeah, they WOULD have had two-party control, if the Republicunts hadn't been filibustering every single fucking thing.
Awwww, SSSSS, AWWWWW, ssssss, Ooooohhh /family guy
on the car accident story. Jesus H Christ,
Fucking awesome.
"Don't eat the green pork!"
Oh shit! LETTERS!
This is OVER.
This things getting bloody, and it's still early.
Green pork?
SHUT UP FUCKER, the moderator said it's Biden's turn!
It's the ham that goes with green eggs.
"Green pork" ? That's an ill image!
Stimulus whore Any Rand!
Oh, Joe, please put that "Dems had 2 years of one party control" lie to rest.
Love how Joe keeps calling him "my friend."
Intertubes! How do they work?
WHAT IS YOUR PLAN DOUCHEBAG?
Pork!
The one party control and forget about the filibuster.
Sorry if someone already said it — but this capable, by turns calm-or-passionate artistry from Biden is just what I was looking for the other night from our President.
Old Handsome Joe is in his element. His veneers are extra shiny tonite.
Oh this is fucking embarrassing…..
Lyin' Ryan cashed his stimulus check!
Green Pork…that's hard to swallow
Let Joe be Joe!
Calling out Ryan asking for stimulus money. And Ryan is hating it.
Joe Biden Saves America. I love this guy. I hope Barry gives him a raise.
"Do you know how many times this fuckin' kid has written me asking for money? Get off my tit, Kid!"
This!
Advocated for citizens for grants?
"Can you send me some stimulus money…" is there any blood left? Awesome!! Gutted like a deer.
Fuckkkkkkkkkk
PWNED!
i think i'm done for the night.
Damn — can we get Joe to debate Romney next week?
there are not words for how much I love Joe Biden right now
Oh throwing that stimulus hypocrisy right in his face I LOVE IT
Oh, Biden! Oh, Biden, your voice is giving me an orgasm!
"be a little more candid" LOVE YOU JOE!!!
When will you get unemployment below 6%
That is the entire point of our program. When? We don't know. But it will get taxes on the rich under 6%, and what else is important?
Joe took his Adderall tonight.
ohgodohgodohgodohgod
ohgodohgodohgodohgod
ohgodohgodohgodohgod
ahhhhhhhhhhh.
brb.
Do I have rose colored glasses on , or is Joe just killing this?
The Delaware Destroyer
he's killing this like I'm killing this bottle of New Belgium Trippel
Nope, yer specs are crystal-fucking-clear!
My orgasm agrees with you 100%
We would not have to borrow money from China if we did not subsidize the oil industry and unneeded tax cuts for the rich, asshole…
Don't know how this is playing with the low-information voters out there…oh, who am I kidding? They're watching Honey Boo Boo right now.
But I am loving the hell out of this.
Zing!
"A better job than investment bankers did". Ouch, ouch, ouch.
Should we borrow money from China to fund tax cuts for zillionaires?
Smack!
This twerp is getting creamed.
He's tweaking him, still.
Be still my beating heart.
"any letter you send me I'll entertain." wow.
Entitlements! Drink!
Old handsome Joe is fucking poor Gomer up.
Douchey little weasel is pretty good at pivoting. CRUSH HIM!!
Oh fuck, Medicare–can't wait to hear the $716B lie again…
Joe is now chewing Blue-eye baby up about the stimulus.
Lol, Lizzie just Tweeted:
Green Pork Chow Mein
Paul Ryan is a Werewolf of London.
You think that's perfect hair? And I don't think I'd like to know his tailor. I'll grant you that he's Lee Ho Fuk'd.
Aa-ooooooooo
He comes howlin' around MY kitchen door, he is in for one big fat fucking surprise.
Slaughter. There's another hour to go. By the end I expect to see Ryan reduced to a bloody, pitiful mess on the floor. By words.
And I am going to be drunk as a skunk. We have already gulped at Scranton, several car crashes, 47%, Reagan. . . What's left?
It's Repubian faith-based economics.
Here we go "we got benefits, that saved us, but if YOU get benefits, that's socialism."
Social Security and Medicare was great for my family. Screw you guys! I'm going home!
I have to say that Ryan is well-versed on all the cheap cliches the tea party loves so much.
If you reform these programs for my generation…
…you can kill Medicare slowly and sneakily,
Asshole.
Paul, you can't get away with this vague bullshit about how you're preserving Medicare. Joe's gonna nail you to the wall — you should've realized that by now, you callow little man.
Someone told me there should be a buzzer that would go off every time Ryan lies.
Wouldn't that be an endless noise, sounding not unlike a vuvuzela?
Better yet, a taser.
He's going to be calling Joe daddy by the end of this slaughter.
Yes Ryan, let's look at Obamacare, which is modeled word for word exactly like Romneycare.
How could we have forgotten about the $716 billion drinks?
Joe is gonna cut this motherfucker, watch.
Can Ryan even make it to the end of this?
His ego is so big, he thinks he's doing OK.
Uf, you're right.
Give your Mom a voucher you hypocrite. Just like Annie Romney slummin with Multiple Sclerosis and Breast Cancer. She uses millions of out of pocket money for above for pain control and Alternative Medicine etc…. Charity begins at home Nazis!
The medication that Ann uses to control her MS costs approximately $36,000 a year.
Special points to the first one who takes his note, turns it into a cool origamie and gives it to his opponent.
It's a pity Romney/Ryan won't live. But then… who does?
Death Panels!! Drink!
OK, Paul. If Social Security is so great, why isn't it good enough to live? Go get him, Joe.
"Ryan asked us for some of that sweet sweet Porkulus ca$h too,"
Looks like someone should've done more brain-curls.
Of course, SS could be solvent forever if they would just raise the income cap.
Now the $716 billion — thank you for lining this up for Uncle Joe, Lil Paulie.
Including my God Damned Gall Bladder!
I'd yell DRINK! … but not you, darlin'. Me either for that matter.
Actually the drinking's OK with the gall bladder. Just not the spicy food. I do have a liver test done twice a year as I'm a Hep C survivor (experiments with needles whilst in college) so I have the tests done.
As long as the doc says I'm good I'm fine!
Try drinking a big (at least 16 oz) glass of water. That sometimes helps. Of course, eventually I got fed up with the blinding pain and just had the damn thing removed. Don't miss it.
This is porn for Democrats.
Gawd, yes. Finally.
It's some fucking amputee midget porn up in this bitch.
You know my type!
I am going to need a cigarette after this and I don't smoke.
Sarah Palin! Drink! Absolutely fucking brilliant to juxtapose the two.
Sarah Palin!
Death Panels!
Palin! Drink!
But let's not talk about previous GOP idiot veep candiates.
.. and you sir, are no Sarah Palin
ftw
Ooh, nice dig about Sarah Palin and death panels!
omg he compared Ryan to Snowbilly Grifter! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
And make up your mind–do you want to do something about rising Medicare costs or do you want to keep spending what we've been spending? Because you cannot simultaneously complain about growing budgets and reductions in spending…
(yeah yeah I know, IOKIYAR…)
He'll reform Social Security all right….
If it no longer exists, that's one big reform right there.
Yay, Sarah Palin!!!!! When will we get a Bush reference?
My god, the 716M$ and the board again.
We've all had tragedies in our lives. I got poor service at the restaurant last night!
I had to miss Pilates so I could watch the debate live. I know tragedy.
My horsey didn't win the gold medal at the Olympics…
What the hell? Ryan is talking 100MPH and it's gibberish.
Ryan = Palin! Drink!
AARP is with us
So suck it, Ryan!
Painted the little weasel with the Palin brush. Snap
Good catch, Thurm.
ASK US ABOUT OUR FREE HOVERROUND!!!
Don't forget the jetpacks.
You watchin', Barry? See? Like THIS.
Honestly.
Gulp of water, scared look in eyes…second time tonight for Ryan…
Nice catch.
Biden knows where the camera is – turned straight to it and talked to the people.
Or your lyin' eyes?
Any senior: which of these two do you want handling Medicare and Social Security. "Who do you believe?"
Art Linkletter would have to endore Biden.
LOOKED STRAIGHT INTO THE CAMERA "Folks, follow your instincts." +infinity x a million
Did Ryan's sippy cup say Eddie on it?
Folks, follow your instincts
Charges from the Reeps that this equals fear mongering in 3…2…1…
Holy shit — if Joe keeps this up he's gonna make Paul go outside and cut his own willow switch.
Excuse me, Mr. Ryan? VP Biden says your pants are on fire.
"Their ideas are bad" and they should feel bad.
"their ideas are old" yep. and they dont fucking work.
Bad old idea love you Joe
I think this is the first political debate I've watched where I have said "Oh shit, son, you just got spanked" involuntarily, out loud, more than once.
I am so loving Joe's dismissive laughs.
It couldn't be clearer. Joe is telling the truth, and Ryan is using talking points.
There's my Bush reference!!!! Yay Joe!!!
Why didn't anybody search Biden for switchblades? And don't forget the razor hidden in his cheek!
And the light saber that is his tongue!
He's using his big…you know, the big thing Jill was talking about…
Shit, I'd like to have teeth like Joe!
Does that Piggy Bank come with lipstick?
Ooh! "I heard about death panels from Sarah Palin."
Larry McCarren calls that "The Dagger".
Duress HUR DUR DUR HUR
patronizing little shit
A lot of duress? I got your duress right here.
What Joe is doing is "the iron fist in a velvet glove"
And occasionally the iron fist in the cock punch, sans glove.
playhouseofthebluelights says "Joe is such a badass"
Oh bitch please–you're in no position to tell Joey that he is under stress, when he is whooping your ass…
SO whooping his ass.
memorizing lines doesn't help if you have to, you know, think.
Joe is on first name terms with Ms. Radditz?
He'll be on a first-name basis with ALL women before this is over.
Joe first-names *all* the ladies.
Ladies Love Cool Joe.
Or LL Cool J, for short?
He can call me anything he wants. Just call, Joe. Please.
Give Eddie Munster some more duress puleaze!
"what is your plan for seniors who can't make up the difference…."
Ryan: "fuck 'em."
'Kay, a little cheezy, but I feel this song here describes Mr. Ryan here perfectly:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVU0Y3HyvG8
Taxi for Eddie, please.
Okay, Joe. Reel it back a bit.
Battleship Biden is shelling the shit outta Ryan Beach.
Operation OverLittleLordFlauntenroy.
Creative interrupting.
DAMMIT, moderator, give Joey equal time!
(Fuck, she's worse than David Gregory in the Mass Senate debate…)
Goddam! Can we get Joe to debate Mitt instead?
I would so love to see that
Lying Ryan is lying hard and Joe won't let him get away with it.
Call him a liar Joe. Do it!
Ooh! "I heard about death panels from Sarah Palin."
Larry McCarren calls that "The Dagger".
And THERE is your dagger!
Bra-fucking-vo!! Loud, slow, clapping, baby.
No polite golf clap from this corner.
mmmm Larry McCarren reference … grrrllll
Is it just my imagination, or is Martha giving Ryan time of possession advantage?
She might just feel bad for how he's getting destroyed tonight. It's not like he's moving the ball.
They need the moderator from the Warren-Brown debate. "Congressman, I owe you 1.726 seconds startinnnnnnnggggggg NOW"
That guy and his atomic clock. Even when he was atomic clocking against Brown it was still fucking anal and lame.
If she is, Joe ain't allowing it.
Not just your opinion–I was bitching about that all night. Thank God Joey fought back.
Bargain for drug costs
That's what all my friends whose drug of choice is not in liquid form recommend…
It works because it's working right now. Yep-huh…
Accuses Biden of rudely interrupting. Biden's response, "Well don't take all the four minutes then!"
Classic, just classic….
Joe's laugh is adding years on to my life.
Word!
And life to my years.
Wyden/Bennett 11th hour band- aid…look what happened to Bennett in Utah–gone
Scott Brown last night was talking about putting kids to work! Now Ryan is talking about raising the age of retirement Rethug Dickensoian talking points!
Joe in the Oval Office tomorrow: "That's how you handle those fucks, Boss."
Can someone please explain to me why I get signed out when I refresh? Current Firefox. Turned off ghostery. WTF???
I don't know, I'm having trouble too. I just keep changing pages at the bottom then going to the new one.
Yup. Doing that, too. Damn. Cheers, Pats.
Happened to me on another blog. Never did figure it out.
Privatization!
oh Joe is using stale ideas?
Who wouldn't buy food if they were starving or heating bills in the winter? Goddam Nazis!
I knew it would not take long for Ryan to pull the "fear mongering" charge. Fucker.
Biden coming out with his "What you talkin' about, Willis?" look.
Martha just dinged him. Bush. Drink!
Tears on Ryan's pillow tonight.
"What I have always said is 'fuck younger Americans.' This will incentivize them to work until they drop dead."
Twitter visit:
2m Charles P. Pierce @ESQPolitics
Oh, little boy, stop being so pissy. #VPdebate
Oh Joe how I love you!!!! OT Is Derrick Wildcat around I have a bird question.
Bill Maher
Hello 9-1-1? There s an old man beating a child on my tv.
Did Bill rly say that?
Yes, Virginia, there is a Biden Klaus.
Scranton Joey will cut a bitch, you better believe it.
Who do you trust on this?
Oh yeah, play to our strengths, Joey!
WHO DO YOU TRUST?!
"I mean, look at this punk! He's too young to care about anyone but his buddies!"
"Who do you trust on this?" You, Joe. You.
Hey Paul — when Dubya wanted to privatize SS, he didn't have a way to make up the difference in cost then, either — since we all pay for the current recipients, giving each of us our own SS account will take money away from the people getting their benefits now. Dubya's plan didn't pay for that gap, and Ryan championed it.
Joe won on Medicare round.
Someone brought his A game. Someone didn't. Seniors know the difference.
So does everyone else.
Paul Ryan is hangin his head. The hell?
Is he dead?
Yes,
Politicians scare people. How did he know I was thinking about Dubya?
"Guilty…"
(liar, liar!)
Scranton drink!
Let younger Americans make their money grow faster, you know, like it did in 2007, when everything crashed. Come ooooon. It's not like Social Security was formed to SAVE people from a THING THAT HAD ALREADY HAPPENED like the great depression or anything. The Market! That's what we need. It'll never hurt you again baby. He swears.
Thank you Martha move it on
She learned from Grandad Leher, didn't she?
Go JOE!
Paul: Scaredy scare scare!
Martha: Oh, shut up and talk about something real.
Joe: Here! Have some reality.
Biden for President!!!! He is kicking Ryan in Ryan's strongest area.
Well, I've voted for him for president twice now (in primaries).
Spanks him again. And again!
"Spank Me Like You Spanked Paul, Handsome" T-shirts to all $20+ donors
Raddatz is falling under OHJB's spell- "Martha…Martha…Martha…" and she responds like Pavlov's dogs. Woof!
My grandma called me two days ago to say she now pays $70 per month for her prescriptions. She paid upwards of $400 before Obama took office. If Paul Ryan could go fuck himself, it would be superb.
Did you ask Grandma who she is voting for????? I hope as an olds she votes for Bamz and Biden.
She called ME to ask who I was voting for! She loves Bamz, as do I. I love my grandma more, though.
God bless your grandma and I hope she lives in a swing state. Please let it be Ohio or Florida…
"I gave you a simple answer. He's gonna raise the cost on Medicare" squee!
Joe is smokin! I really need to go out and walk my dog but I can't pull myself away from this.
You may want to discuss that with your dog.
Come on Biden, talk about how Mittens would have to *raise* taxes on the middle class or raise the deficit to make his tax plan work…
Haha, Matha puts a tax question in Joe's wheelhouse.
BIDEN 2016
Yes.
You know, I'll betcha Obama's Grandpa was a bit like Joe. That's my theory of why they get on.
Ryan sure is guzzling the water…or is that Kool Aid?
Aren't those the steroids that make him so muscular and HOT????
$800 MILLION BILLION DOLLARS. That is a lot of dollars.
How much do we luv Joe! 800 gazillion mabillion dollars!
Technically, when you say "$800 MILLION BILLION DOLLARS", you should be pointing to the corner of your mouth with your pinky.
Guys,
If Biden keeps this up, I'm gonna have to see a doctor by the end of the debate…
It didn't take four hours. It'll subside.
Cloture!
Clobber that smiling jackass
Biden is sharper than I am and he's 12 times as old.
GAH!!! I have to leave to pick my teenager up on other side of town! Why did I promise to do that at 9 pm?? Wonketeers, my heart is broken as I won't see Joe as he finishes gnawing on Lyin' Ryan's ass. I expect really exceptional summaries.
Ryan proving that P90X doesn't work to exercise debating skills.
Anyone else having multiple Joe-gasms? I need a cigarette.
Oh, baby, I'm trying to uncurl my toes and fingers enough to type right now.
I've had to douse myself with water twice already.
Joe is pounding the table with his Trans Am key chain.
How many times do you think Ed Schultz has had to change his pants already?!
Not enough…….
Skeet SkeetSkeet Skeet Skeet!!.
In the words of the great Lil Jon
Oh…man…oh…Thanks a LOT, Chet..
The picture came.
Does he wear pants?
All of them, Katie.
YES! Biden brought up that Mittens will raise taxes on the middle class!
Mr President, please channel Joey during the next two debates, the rest of the campaign, and your second term…
If Paul Ryan says "small business" in his satement, drink. If he doesn't, drink the whole damn bottle.
do we drink every time he says "small business"?
Gummint TAKING. Drink!.
This is a fucking snuff film.
Good.
THERE WILL BE BLOOD
there is blood. and it's from wisconsin.
Well — the bottle's safe.
Joe is straight-up smoking his ass. Not even a question.
This thing isn't over, at all, you guys. Take heart.
Is this going to be over on the hour, or they going to make the punk suffer for 90 minutes?
Our entire premise…heard that three times already
Make the rich give plasma.
Handsome Joe keeps calling douchenozzle his "friend" I don't Joe knows what that word means.
It means "asshole" in the Senate.
"Isn't that wonderful, Eddie?"
Oh, the deal is the Rich People HAVE ALL THE MONEY! THAT'S WHY TO TAX THEM!!
Sorry.
There aren't enough rich people to tax? Well, let's get started and see!
I think Joe has talked Andrew Sullivan off the ledge.
He hasn't posted in 10 minutes. Do you think he's fapping in his new NYC apartment?
This guy should bed selling the Sham-Wow at home shows.
Tax reforms will save everything.
Passion of The Biden.
Job Creators? Are you really going to go there, Ryan?
He meant to say "Job Cremators".
Lake Superior is overseas?
That was a joke that sunk right in the lake.
53% of small businesses would get taxed higher? Does that make the rest the 47%, Ryan?
Did Junior just make an "overseas" joke? Not a good idea when you have no foreign policy experience.
OR when your boss sends jobs overseas and hides his money overseas.
Taxes. I can't fap to this.
I can't tell whether I envy that moderator or pity her.
Her name recognition just went up 100% … she'll live.
Jesus on a saltine, I love me some Handsome Joe,
Now he's lying about the top rate. He's determined about the lying. A salesman like his boss, but sweatier.
The Canadians dropped their taxes to 15%
Yeah, well, they didn't make the same level of military commitments that we made under W…and unlike W, we *include* the costs of those disasters in the budget…
Asshole.
Oh, those same 'six studies' (online opinion plugs).
God damn it, National Weather Service just broke in, informing me I'm gonna die because of flash flooding.
What is ryan babbling about that Joe Cool is laughing out loud about, now?
No one ever died in their apartment from flash flooding.*
*Notintendedtobeafactualstatment.com
Pls put on your waterwings.
Climate Changeling.
I think this "think of the rich, guys!" argument is going to work!
Finally, one moderator is going after these assholes on their failure to provide specifics!
Ryan is trying so hard to weasel out of this one, and is failing miserably…
Fucking Joe.
Mmm yes, pray tell us about your super duper secret plan?
You utter fucking asshole. " where I come from, overseas- that's Lake Superior". I got one thing to say to you, fuckwad, "YOU LIE".
Dickwad. Don't try to play that route. Fucking Fail.
You know,
The Moderator seems to be showing remarkable restraint, considering.
8 out of 10 small businesses pay tax as personal income??? Really? These people need an accountant and some tax advice. Or, perhaps most of them earn so little for their ebay sales etc that it's cheaper to be taxed as an individual.
If you are a sole proprietor of your business, you pay personal taxes on it. Really, it's true. The small-time mom-and-pop kind of businesses that used to exist in America before Walmart ate up Main Street.
New Rule: If Biden calls him "Eddie" by "mistake", I'm drinking a bottle of Drambuie.
What? A moderator asking real questions?! She's a witch!?
If she weighed the same as a duck… she's made of wood…
Build a bridge out of her!
Obama's tax increase won't pay for the spending, but I will cut taxes for everyone and problem is solved.
Martha, digging in on the Phantom Romney Tax Plan! Nice journalismising!
Alright, I don't comment very often but this debate has made me #1 Drink, #2 Break my No Smoking in the House Rule and #3 FLIP off Paul Ryan on my TV screen REPEATEDLY! (also it's really cold here in Wasilla and all the windows are open and all fans are on because I broke rule #2, so I hate Paul Ryan even more because I'm cold!)
Welcome, Wasilla!!!
Thanks! I like to go to Wonkette but I really don't have time to comment much but I soooooo appreciate you all that comment on a regular basis and just love your snark and wish I could be as quick on the uptake as so many of you are. Just reading the comments makes my day!
Yes, but you have to live in Sarah Palin's home town, so we have to make it up to you somehow.
See ya back here for the next debate, I hope.You're plenty quick enough.
Wait, doesn't Sarah live on Lake Lucille, too, or is it the other one?
If taxing rich people costs jobs, then I assume Ryan would agree they shouldn't pay ANY taxes.
Answer the question ya weasel.
Now Martha's spanking him! Can we make him bark like a dog?
Squeal like a pig!
Lake Superior=Overseas. Who knew?
Can he see Alaska from his house???????
No, but maybe Romney could see Canada from his.
Which one?
Can I translate?
Go Joey!
Reagan! DRINK!
"Can I translate?" I LOVE YOU JOE!
Awesome tweet:
Wil Wheaton @wilw
I wonder how many copies of Atlas Shrugged Paul Ryan is sitting on tonight, to make him the same height as Joe Biden.
Oh snap! Wil Wheaton is awesome.
Pssst – Ryan – it was a "yes" or "no" question.
I love the way Biden's laughing at him. And throws Reagan at him!
Oh Joey, I'm loving your evil laugh…
The GOP will be tax reform Ninjas?
We're gonna need a bigger bag of bath salts.
Joe's a pro. I just hope he doesn't overplay this hilarity on hearing the line.
Raddatz: "Do you actually have the specifics [to offset the 20% across the board tax cuts] or are you just making shit up?"
Raddatz and her follow-ups are killing this. Ryan's got tire tracks on his back now.
Reagan by Biden drink!
"Six studies of Nothing say that our Invisible Plan will work like gangbusters!"
Reagan gave specifics
Oooh, that's gotta burn…good on Joey!
Joe is sure dropping the Reagan word a lot. I don't like it.
Plenty of older voters who supported Reagan in the day and are interested in getting their gubmint checks regular and on time. Joe's out there to reel 'em in.
They're working for the rich only!!! Fuck them!!!
Name names, Joe!
Oh Snap!!
"These guys? These fucking guys? I don't think so."
Joe, call me when this thing is over. I will buy you a drink.
Laughing Joe Biden Tweeting now: https://twitter.com/LaughingJBiden
Very entertaining stuff. Thanks!
But what does Chuck Grassley have to say?
I call you on your Reagan 800 gazillion billion times!
'not possible'
t-shirt.
"Oh, now you're Jack Kennedy!"
Never saw that coming.
Now you're JFK. Ka ching!
Am I being overly optimistic, or is Joey cleaning up the floor with Ryan?
"Oh, now you're Jack Kennedy?" Love it!
Not mathematically possible.
Now you're Jack Kennedy?
Today we are all Jack Kennedy
Finally.
I can't wait to sleep with Marilyn.
I'd rather not take multiple bullets.
Nah mang, just the one!
Missed chance for a "You're no Jack Kennedy", but I'll take it ;)
If that's the case, where is my celebrity blonde bombshell? I was told there would be a blonde bombshell celebrity. Oh, and an attractive, well-adjusted, and cultured brunette.
I was hoping there was going to be a Jack Kennedy moment. My wishes have been granted.
Martha needs a can of mace.
And a cattle prod.
Mace, hell, she needed a shotgun…
…yeah yeah, armed with votes…
Tell him he is no jack Kennedy
Jack Kennedy just was brought up. Okay this is just too good, I think I'm in fangirl mode now.
Ryan: "There are 6 studies. There's mine. My friend Ryan's. My other friend Ryan's. My friend Paul. My other friend Paul. and, um, …"
"Oh, now you're Jack Kennedy!'
Oh, fuck, yeah, baby…
Joe "The Mallet" Biden, wiping smirks off faces.
"Ronald..er,um….Romney"
Intentional Freudian slip of the year…..
7% rating for Congress…nice, Joey!
KENNEDY!!!! What the fuck am I supposed to drink for a fucking Kennedy?!??!!
One of everything.
Whatever you drink I think it has to be with a bunch of the ladies.
Jameson's
Scowl for Congress!
"Oh now you're fuckin' Jack Kennedy, you jug-eared bat?!"
OHJB: Oh, now you're Jack Kennedy? And the house roars!
"Now you're Jack Kennedy?"
**Swoon**
WHAT??? DEMOCRATS AREN'T USED TO MAKING DEALS? This asshole is STILL saying DEMOCRAT Senator instead of Democratic, but DEMOCRATS are the ASSHOLES? OH SHUT UP YOU LITTLE PRICK, just SHUT UP.
Deep breaths
"Why isn't he even contesting Massachusetts?" I heard that in there! This is running the table.
Joe Biden is giving me dyspnea.
I'm getting diaphoresis.
As long as you both stay the hell away from Dianetics, you'll be OK.
Not mathematically possible. Now you are Jack Kennedy.
Joe's having fun doing this. This is like playing with your grandson.
More like a cat playing with a wounded mouse…
"What's this behind your ear? It's your nuts, Kid!"
How predictive was this? http://www.stockingblue.com/820/a-preview-of-toni…
Dude that was rad.
Can you guarantee that no one making less than $100K will lose the home mortgage deduction, Ryan?
Crickets…
Fact-checkers are going to have a field day with this one.
Lots of them have time on their hands since the Romney Ryan ticket has no use for them…
Thank you Joe for finally getting to the truth of the "small biz tax" crap
Former Mass Gov. Romney not even contesting, advertising or making any appearances in his former State…great point Joe
Biden interrupting too much. He's not a curmudgeon. He's just being dickish.
working for me.
and now he's being a little girl in a white ballerina costume.
with a lead pipe, in the studio.
Nonsense. This is a clean-up on Aisle 4.
Totally disagree.
the whole point of tonight was to error on the side of dickishness. The Punditocracy needs to be convinced that America is convinced that Team Obama can win dickishly and then gloat about it.
That's to make up for Ryan's attempts to hog all the air time in a desperate attempt to cover up the fact that he is not near ready for prime time, much less being a heartbeat away from the presidency…
He had to interrupt, Ryan was just stringing too many lies together to be able to remember them until Ryan was done and refute them after. Just as a tactical point, better to be thought a dick than simply let the lies stand, especially as so many of them were absolute doozies.
*Joe finger on mouth…megawatt grin…*
Can this get any better?
Another math question? This is hard!
Stepped out for a moment,
Has Biden torn off his shirt and curb-stomped Ryan yet?
babyhouseofthebluelights is cracking me up "Biden is just sitting going 'are you fucking kidding me?'"
Wow, Joe is in total command of his facts. Impressive. Biden/OK I'll give you Warren 2016!
I'm getting shouty. Ryan's suck a FUCKING LIAR HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
What? I do. I want those defense cut, bitch.
True that, we're spending more on defense than the rest of the world combined. First we bankrupted the USSR like this, now we'll do it to ourselves if Pauly has his way. Idiot.
Aw, the moderator wants to know how Ryan does the math. How optimistic of her to think that he actually does grubby work like math…
"Want to get into Defense now"
Ryan you've been on the defense all night.
Incredulous Joe. My new favorite face.
Invite weakness?
Can we be clear? Joe Biden is WAY better than Romney supposedly was against Obama. If this doesn't move the needle back, than fuck us. This is a slaughter.
Now you wanna talk about Defense? Ryan is simpering at the moderator now? Already? Who bets he blames his epic failure here on the liberal media lady person moderating this whole deal? Pitiful.
She's too good looking to be a liberal.
"my friend" = Drink!
More Kool Aid for Lyin' Ryan…he knows he is going down…
"My Friend"…. POW!
I wonder if he kept calling Ryan "My friend" so as not to slip and call him "Eddie".
Joey! Joey! Joey!!1!!!
Cutting 120 CARGO planes. WTFFFFF?
Yes, Joe, actually we DO want you to use the fancy word "sequestration" because "fiscal cliff" is lazy and scare-mongering.
Nice nice very nice
I would like to see Romney/Ryan, in the 1916 US Navy, fight Obama/Biden in the 2012 US Navy.
"If these cuts go through, our navy will be the smallest it's been since WWI." Really Paul? If that's even true, we still have what — five carrier groups on duty at any given time? More?
About 200 ships before WWI. There are 285 ships now. Of course some of our current ships are aircraft carriers which have more firepower than the entire WWI Navy.
Ryan is so full of shit. It's ridiculous that any sane, rational person believes any of the shit he's slinging.
Martha's getting hot for OHJ.
It was only a matter of time.
Any chance we can have Biden debate Romney next week?
OH NO, the weakness again.
Love how Biden is pointing out that the military (not some of the military) is recommending not shoveling even more money to the military…
Do you get the sense that the Republicans would rather have Palin up there right now instead of Ryan?
Winkie winkie!! Say it ain't so, Joe!
Love it, Faster_Kittycat!
That's quite an insult.
THAT'S what I'll be having sweet dreams about tonight!
yeah! i think this!
I think they would rather have a dead dog up there instead of Ryan.
But Seamus ran away.
Spank that little fucker, Uncle Joe- with votes. Loving this.
Nice having a moderator who isn't loosing control.
She is stellar
Agreed. Best so far than 2008, too.
seems Ryan is a victim here
Jesus, how much water is Ryan drinking? He's going to need a potty break…
Depends
Let us encourage this behavior then.
I'm sure his diapers are full by now.
Does ANYONE think this is a good idea to go all over the "Dems won't work with us" nonsense? I would think his teatards would hate this and everyone else knows it's bullshit.
That's the damn truth.
Jolt'n Joe Biden
The job of losing life and limbs.
She running this thing, and she doesn't even have a whip. Go, Martha.
yeah she's SO running this.
Speaking of jobs, will the wiener mobile be available for Ryan in November?
How appropriate is *that*?
"When I think about Afghanistan, I think about how lucky Mitt and I were not to be in the military."
But how fucking stupid was Mitt to spend 3 years in France and not try the wine? Can't trust a man like that.
Another twitter visit:
Jim Newell @jim_newell
I see a lot of conservatives trashing Raddatz now so I guess the dickhead Biden is winning
That and misogyny.
How dare a women assume she can talk over our Paul Ryan.
i tots completely TUNE OUT when little lord ryan speaks.
awesome
You're not seduced with his numbers deluge? How bout his smirk?
What the fuck is he babbling about Afghanistan and Navajo Indians?!
Code breakers?
We don't want to lose any more people in a quagmire. Sorry. It ain't gonna work out.
Heh heh — Paul Ryan just praised Obama's troop increase — he doesn't know it yet, but Biden's about to pounce.
General St. Petraeus!
Martha Radditz, I'm envisioning you as a dominatrix…
…of votes!
When I was a kid, I always wanted a launching pad for terrorists.
Biden is crushing him.
Like the zit he is.
Joe will cut you, Joe is a blade man.
They have pretty much knocked out the entire deck of cards
When Afghanistan is a safe topic for Ryan to retreat to, he's lost.
I've been in Afghanistan a thousand times in a fucking helicopter, pipsqueak.
Oh yeah, Joey, nice subtle way to remind everyone who got Osama!
One hour and no Drudge post on the debate. What does that guy do in his spare time?
"When I think about Afghanistan, I think of whats on the other side of Lake Superior" . Paulie, you are gettin Schooled on foreign policy.
He can see Canada from his house
You can run all you like from the classroom or the cot
From a great big man or a tiny tot
But from this day, everyday will be Boxing Day
Don't need your indecision, let there be no doubt
Don't need your permission, I can count you out
I can count you out
TKO
"I've been to Afghanistan 67 times! Jill and Karzai shop for shoulder throws and hats together! Don't fuckin' talk to me about Afghanistan, Kid."
does martha want PBS news job that may be opening soon?
Fuck that, does Martha want to replace that wussy Wolf Blitzer for a CNN that may decide to start practicing actual journalism soon?
After the next administration, whoever wins, Joe and Paul must make the wonkiest 'Odd Couple' yet.
Janesville Country Club drink!
Is Paul Ryan *grinning* while Biden talks about what America has done in Afghanistan?
Yeah, I want this asshole a heartbeat away from the presidency…
Smirking is not grinning.
Paul… has friends? Fellow gym rats, maybe.
mostly fellow turd-suckers.
I think "look" needs to be added to the drinking game for both of them, but particularly for Ryan. "You know" too.
Aww, Paul Ryan and his wife has a soldier friend. That's too sweet.
Ryan wants his bff and his fellow troops to come home as soon as possible. Iran's not gonna invade itself, you know.
Ryan avoids ANOTHER question. Glad that isn't a reason to drink, or we'd all be dead.
Also, Ryan tells entirely irrelevant anecdote. Ditto.
So. Is Paul Ryan in 2012 doing better or worse than Admiral Stockdale in 1992?
Ryan loses. Stockdale had a much better opening line.
Yeah. A sense of humor and a sense of self awareness. Class too.
Worse–Stockdale was amusing but harmless.
Trying to read Joe's notes while he's talking. Loser!
I love how every Republican has "best friends" in the military but never any family members like old handsome there.
Technically, private citizens cannot own the military, so no BFF. On the other hand, corporations are people, too, so. Never mind.
They all have one (1) blah friend, too.
Oh shit, somebody kick Paul Ryan, his record is skipping.
No votes here, Paulie Boy. Lost in the weeds.
I think Ryan's widow's peak is growing out of frustration.
OMG!
I hate using the omg thing but OMG!
I think you're right.
At least Joe is looking serious now, what with this talk about all the death and destruction in Afghanistan. Oh wait, I mean the talk about leaving and staying and fixing and stuff.
This is the new talking point "the unraveling of the Obama foreign policy"– third or fourth time he's said it.
Poor, little boy.
One of my bestest frends in homerville left is favorite hog for basic training, but he missed the sow sow much…well, then… a gentleman don't kiss and tell.
She's still trying to get Ryan to answer the question…again. I wish she would just come out and say "are you going to answer the question I asked or not?"
Fuck your hometown sentimental brave military anecdotes Ryan…that's all you got you chickensitchickenhawk
Gomer Pyle and his cousin Goober had illegitimate buttsechs which resulted in the birth of Paul Ryan.
Sincerely,
Todd Akin
Oh BTW, 9/11 happened under Bush, AND Bush ignored memo" Bin Laden to hit buildings with planes" on August 6, 2001! Is that why you assholes kicked Bush out of your stinky empty chair convention?
"We agree with the timeline but we don't want to have a timeline."
Wait, what?
"Problems are growing at home … I mean, abroad … I mean" Oh fuck off, there is no saving Private Ryan.
HEAR ME.
FEEL ME
TOUCH ME
HEAL ME
I wish he'd said that!
We.Will. Leave. In. 2014. Asshole.
49 of our allies signed on to our position
Damn right, Joey!
And if Ryan thinks *staying* in Afghanistan is a winning issue with the American people, I am starting to feel optimistic again…
C'mon, Joe, just bitch-slap that little Eddie Munster clone already and end the suspense!
Awesome tweet:
Chris Rock @chrisrockoz
Hello 9 1 1? There's an old man abusing a child on my TV. #debate
WIN.
BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Chris Rock forever and ever. My love know no bounds. He is the coolest.
Joe should just say, "I do not want my kid in the armed forces with these two bozos running the show."
STEP UP.
Ryan snickers, "'Kabul', you just made that up, right?"
"Step Up" is one module of the PX-90 system, isn't it?
If Ryan drinks any more water he's gonna have to ask Miz Radditz for a pee break.
He's playing a drinking game too. Lose 10,000 votes. Drink!
Martha, the Taliban live in Afghanistan. They couldn't leave if they wanted to. Their only choice is to fight for their homeland. You don't win fights against people with nothing to lose. We should've learned that lesson in 1973 — we actually did learn it for a while — but now we've transcended that knowledge.
You see, Democrats? This is the simple phenomenon of standing up too these miserable little bully / cowards.
A beautiful sight, isn't it?
Looks like that episode of Saved By the Bell where Screech got into vial of testosterone.
um, I'm a dude. and I want to have Joe Biden's baby.
Maybe we can get a two-fer sex change discount.
Anybody got a spare womb? we need wombs here!
Sorry, my eggs are hard boiled.
Me too. I hope my obstetrician does cesareans.
That was the joint chiefs' recommendation
Who do you trust–the Joint Chiefs, or Lyin' Ryan?
Good, Joey…I think you've got this…
NOT the mountain top story!!!
It's like Ward Cleaver is dressing down Eddie Haskell
I've been listening on the radio, and just started watching.
Who is that old man, and why won't someone save that nice-looking boy that he is beating the living shit out of?
"In the winter, the passes fill in with snow, and the Vikings come over from Minnesota to fight. And the Bears."
The Bears…
Protect Lambeau at all costs!!!
Also, I am queuing up FoxNews on pause for their response, should be epic.
Hope Krauthammer has his chair charged up.
And de Lions….maybe….
Why is Ryan trying to pretend he's in the military? Fighting in Afghanistan, even?
Ryan is parroting what he's been briefed on. The ignorance is right below the surface.
Joe's smacking him down!
Paul Ryan is about to get a slushie in the face.
I've never heard it called a "slushie".
This is how it works in the big leagues, Eddy.
I'm not sure I know what point Ryan is trying to make about Afghanistan. Is there a thesis in there somewhere?
This truly no country for young me…not tonight, anyway.
Damn, good to see OHJ even jumping on Martha!
Well at least this one is way more entertaining than the presidential one…
I always enjoy watching Joe speak :D
Because we turned it over to the Afghan troops we trained…he's conflating two issues
GOD, I love this! Joey is showing how much Ryan is just not ready for prime time!
thanks for the calendar tutorial Paul.
douche.
I know, after that little smarmy prick said that I wanted Biden to stand up and whale on him with his chair.
Wow, Ryan is really, really acting like a dick. Wow.
Ryan knows about "fighting season" because, military people.
Ryan is using his "well duh" voice. Mistake.
How are you all upvoting, posting, being witty, and following the debate? I feel older than OJB.
We are following the example of Original Joe Biden. Old Joe-y Bastard. Whatever.
Oh shit! Fight!
Ryan "They're still coming in — to Zabar, to Abul — to these other places."
Don't forget Vandelay.
Last word, snap!
"Sending Afghans to do the job!" Works for me.
Whoa. Shut his ass up!
I like how Ryan is trying to do the snarky thing that Biden does, but when he does it, he just comes off as the King of the Fratboy Douchebags.
Plus he has a little schmoots on his nose.
Oh GOD, Ryan is digging himself into a hole on Afghanistan. I am really starting to feel good now…
The Civil War? Yeah! In Syria? Damn.
AFGHANS TO DO THE JOB!! SIT THE FUCK DOWN, LITTLE DUDE!
Afghan's be responsible. Republican, want to keep troops there to keep the income stream for Haliburton
Oh, goodie! Syria. That should be easy turf for Ryan. He knows so much about it.
I haven't heard Biden call Ryan his friend in a while. Scary stuff.
That's a different country.
Derp.
Is Ryan now arguing about staying in Afghanistan forever?
That round went to Handsome Joe, too.
HuffyPo home page:
BIDEN ON FIRE…SURVEY: JOE THUMPING RYAN
Oh yeah!
Win for Biden!
Just look over at The Corner, they think Biden is being rude. I think that means he is killing.
You can't have cigars & drinks with the big boys, little one, go to bed now.
fuck you asshole, it's not confusing to me. don't patronize me. i actually have a pretty good sense of – actually all of this crap – which YOU didn't till last week when you were training for the debates.
asshats.
Now Joe is really shouting at the poor child.
Loose talk!
I wish Joe would have did this to $arah so long ago
"The congressman"
That's right, Joe. Don't even use that toady's fuckin' name.
"The Congressman." Watch your mouth, Joe.
Poor Joe, I think Ryan's broken his patience.
I love it when Biden plays the bulldog, he bites down and doesn't let up. He took that Afghan attack by Ryan and flipped it around. Such a joy to watch a great performance like this.
As much as I like Joe, I really want to see him justify Bahrain.
"Verbage" = drink!
Also, never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line!
"Lets move on to another war.."
We sure will if Mittens gets in office.
That should be plural…
Wars
Oh, now OHJB is MAD!
J is awesome when he is mad
You know, I think the Reeps must have bought their own rhetoric about how Joey supposedly is gaffe prone, and were counting on him fucking this up. That is the only logical explanation* I can think of for how badly prepared Ryan is and what a poor performance he's giving.
*Yeah, I know, Republicans and logic are never in the same building together…
Conservatives praised Raddatz for grilling Biden on Libya — now tweets about bias, wedding two decades ago.
More like they think this debate doesn't matter. They got all cocky with RMoney's performance.
Whether this debate will matter… I'm no political strategist, I don't know. I wish it would. Shit, right now I'd be happy with a Biden/Obama ticket.
He was prepped with Ted Olson in the role of Biden. Doesn't sound like Ted caught it exactly right.
Politico has a piece up about Ryan's awesome debate prowess…..I think he just got pwned.
My dogs just asked me what my upheld middle finger and "smirky, mcsmirky, fuck you" might mean. My Pit just ran to the TV and popped it with his paw. He hates Ryan too.
Internet breaks when comments get to page 20
Don't fuck with Russia Ryan.
Paul Ryan has introduced a whole new head-loop to his body language. Romney just blinks rhythmically when HE lies.
Russia?!?!? Dafuck?
Oh, you want to go on about Russia now?
Quick now, Ryan, who is the president who looked into Putin's eyes and saw his soul?
We're back to Bashar? WTF? Did he run out of musin sounding names?
Oh, Ayn Rand really has the pulse of the American People, we are sick of wars the end. Wrong wrong wrong
I'm thinking that Russia isn't going to just give up the UN veto…
Is this guy saying we should confront the only other country in the world with enough ICBMs to obliterate us?
"Kofi Annan" = Drink!
I have not felt or heard any conviction, emphasis, passion or integrity in Ryan's voice throughout.
Last twitter visit, I promise:
Paul Ryan Gosling @PaulRyanGosling
Hey girl, if this VP thing doesn't work out, I'm pretty sure I have a future as the voice of an animated weasel. #vpdebate
9m Paul Ryan Gosling @PaulRyanGosling
Hey girl, trust me, I kind of want to smash my big, smug face with a hammer, too. #lol #vpdebate
11m Paul Ryan Gosling @PaulRyanGosling
Hey girl, I'm not taking nervous sips of water, I'm drinking every time Biden laughs at me. #vpdebate
13m Paul Ryan Gosling @PaulRyanGosling
Hey girl, I hope I don't sound condescending. (That means "talking down to.") #vpdebate
Romney/Ryan foreign policy seems to be "Well we would have done it better neener neener neener!!"
The Ataris?
And the Sega Dreamcasts!
Biden: "Are they proposing putting American troops on the ground [in Syria]? If they do, they should stand up and say so!"
Ryan says nobody's advocating invading Syria. Then says we shouldn't have brought a resolution through the UN to let Russia veto it. And Biden nails it — "What would my friend do differently?"
Good idea Janesville Johnny, bash Hillary. just keep talking ….
If you notice, he never answers the question
YES!!!! If the moderator is not going to call him out on it, I am glad Joey is stepping up!
hahahahha frat boy is listing the names of middle east countries he learned last night.
damn joe is so schooling this tool.
Ryan should've watched more "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?" than he did.
Maybe he shoulda watched this more often:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x88Z5txBc7w
Another awesome tweet:
James Urbaniak @JamesUrbaniak
The true hero of this debate is Paul Ryan's water glass refiller.
Bam!
Afghans. AFGHANS!! you fucking pup.
I LOVE JOE!!!
Like a lamb to slaughter, I tells ya…like a lamb to slaughter.
Out sourcing foreign policy to UN, bad. Now Ryan wants to go do stuff unilaterally again, just like Iraq.
I want to pull Ryan's teeth out with votes.
Dumbass! Junior brought up Junior! And exposed his fartmind Boltontood about the UN!
Biden re: Syria "Look, punk. I'd tell ya' but then I'd have to kill ya' [w/ votes]"
change "my friend" to "my little friend" just once tonite Joe…please
That laugh again…love you, Joey!
ryan just lost completely.
awesome.
Joey is *really* having to work hard to keep his composure. I know how he feels.
What would Romney/Ryan do?
We would not have, we should not have, but we agree with them on what they will do.
What the fuck. Ryan has no clue. Biden is an insider. Ryan is just talking out his butt.
Oh, Martha's even killing him, right now.
The word "humanitarian" makes Ayn Rand vomit in his mouth
I guess that means no humanitarian aid.
Hey rYAN, GOT ANY FUCKING IDEA WHO the freedom fighters actually are and what their alighnments might be?
Whqat a douche.
FFS, Ryan doesn't know when to cut his losses and STFU…
This particular situation would be Syria. Any thoughts, Mr. Ryan?
Humanitarian? What the fuck does that mean, Radditz?
CATHOLIC QUESTION TIME
Give Joe a break. Let Martha debate Eddie.
PLEASE bring up women, Martha SHE DID IT BEFORE I FINISHED TYPING!
sorta.
Catholics?? Drink!
Oh God, can't we ask an abortion question without dragging up religion as well?
No. No we can not.
JOE! FINISH HIM!!!!1!!!!
Okay, fifteen minutes to go, and America has a good sense of the depth and grasp of these two.
Catholicism? Batter up!
Abortion! Oh snap!
Thank GOD we're talking about the abortionz!
Catholics!
Abortion!
Pope!
Drop pants!
If there is a God, one of these two will be smited, and the debate will be over. Come on God, where are you?
Christ on a biscuit Martha — do you have to beg these assholes to talk personally?
Ryan says criteria for military intervention is "national security interests of America". So how does that justify intervening in Syria?
tough one for Joe…speaking as a fellow pro-choice catholic, he will speak for me, I know
How to take care of the vulnerable? Ryan clearly knows about that. Just ignore it and it'll go away.
"I don't see how a person can separate public life from their faith" and if I EVER had any tiny inkling that I would ever vote for one of these faith-based idiots, it just died.
They also don't see how a person can separate HAVING faith from imposing their faith on everyone else, which is the REAL problem.
but they some how don';t see has taking care of the poor and sick and elderly as something that they should impose their faith on…no cut medicade, cut welfare, cut food stamps cut unemployment checks and revoke obamacare. some how their faith doesn't kick in like it does with abortion.
Biden is one giggle at Ryan's expense away from my needing a cigarette and a snuggle.
Since neither of these dudes will ever have an abortion, I don't really give a shit what their choice making processes on the matter are. I give a fuck.
I wish to fuck that I could give more than one upfist to this…