THERE WILL BE BLOOD  8:40 pm October 11, 2012

Vice-Presidential Debate Live-Bloog: Paul ‘The Kid’ Ryan Takes On Old Handsome Joe

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

ScreechWhat’s this, Sara Benincasa is joining us tonight, in our domicile? Does she have hair to braid? We will soon find out!

In the meantime, here is the first and last nice thing we will most likely say about Paul Ryan tonight: Paul Ryan sends copies of NOBUMMER’s birth certificate to any constituent who writes him all “WHAR KENYA WHAR,” and even before Obummer released his long-form certificate, Ryan’s office sent to those same “folks” a copy of the Hawaiian registrar’s statement about the Communist usurper’s live birth. And we think that is terrific, for reals! (GENTLEMANLY.) (We mean us.) (We’re done now though.) (Don’t worry.) (WARBLOG!!!!!)

Also too, before we start, here’s your damn drinking game:

If you are in California, Washington, DC, New York, or any of the other civilized states, smoke some legal marijuana before the debate commences.

As to the rest of you, we will occasionally yell at you DRINK for any or no reason at all. (But seriously, if Joey calls “Mr.” Ryan “junior” or “sonny” or “kiddo” or “boy,” you may do the Hokey Pokey and finish the bottle in feral joy.) And that’s it! We can’t say to drink if OHJB says “God love ya” or talks about Scranton or the Violence Against Women Act, or cries when telling the story of his family, or says “literally” about something figurative, or is magnificently romantic to Dr. Jill, because we will not be liable for your alcohol poisoning. So, you know, just use your worst judgment, and we’ll see you at nine.

5:59 PM 8:59 PM stupid Eastern Standard Time — Benincasa is in the house! And also she is out of the house! We have sent her to Fresh & Easy for liquor, because we have drunk this house dry. Maybe she will come back again? Who can ever tell???

9:01 PM — Was Libya an intelligence failure? Old Handsome Joe does not care to answer that question, but promises not to lie and pivots to Bamz ending Iraq and Afghanistan and Miffed Romney being a fussbudgety asshole about both. Has he mentioned Barry killed Bin Laden? Still, not answering the question though he is(n’t), he sounds sober and Joe-like and great.

Paul Ryan’s all nah mang they already lied about the Youtube and is mad that we didn’t have enough security. Didn’t he watch Jason Chaffetz’s interview? Uh oh, Joe is gonna bite someone’s head off, fangs bared.

9:09 PM — Oooh, looks like Joe watched Jason Chaffetz’s interview! Also? Romney’s a pud. Let him give you a list. (Joe is pissed, y’all. Said every single thing that came out of the kid’s mouth was “untrue.” He is smiling, he’s showing his choppers, but he does not mean it.) Joe’s assertion that they didn’t “know” that the embassy wanted more security does not seem … likely.

9:11 PM — Of course Paul Ryan thinks we shouldn’t pee on Taliban corpses, oh gosh yes. What is he, a lunatic? No, he is a libertarian. There is some shade of difference. (Sometimes.)

9:16 PM — Biden: “You wanna go to war? That what you want?” He is pure contempt for this whippersnapper daring to lecture him on being a joke when it comes to Iran. We are afeared of what might burst forth from his grinning skull!

9:19 PM — Biden is schooling the kid on how nukes work. It might be a while. Blah blah blah Netanyahu. Would you like to see the rainbow outside our window right now?

9:22 PM — Joe with the words of wisdom on Iran: LET’S ALL CALM DOWN HERE! Yes, let’s!

9:24 PM — Joe is now literally kissing his knuckles as Paul Ryan talks. OH KNUCKLES, he is saying, to his knuckles, SOMEDAY, KNUCKLES. SOME DAY.

9:28 PM — OK now we are on the economy we are sure Paul Ryan will not say anything that will make Joe Biden ache to punch him in his earnest puppy face?

9:32 PM — HAHAHA, why are we always SO WRONG?

9:41 PM — We are behind again, because we had to let in Sara with the wine, and then we had to go to the neighbors’ for a corkscrew. And then chicken. But SARA IS BACK, and she points out the audience is bizarrely, tensely quiet. They are probably as scared as we are. We do not like seeing Joe Biden want to murder people.

9:43 PM — Fuck it, we know we told you we wouldn’t make you drink when Joe Biden weeps for his family. But drink. (We all could use one, right?)

9:44 PM — Old Handsome Joe Biden tells Paul Ryan if he wants jobs, to get out of his and Bamz’s way. Paul Ryan responds with blah blah blah One Party Control, like Ben Nelson and Mary Landrieu were Democrats.

9:46 PM — Joe Biden can’t show you Paul Ryan’s letters begging for nasty old stimulus funds, but we can!

9:50 PM — Joe compares Paul Ryan to Sarah Palin. You betcha! (Also, drink, too.)

9:51 PM — Joe: Who do you believe, me or this snotnosed punk?

9:54 PM — Paul Ryan bullshitting about Medicare has LIT’RALLY given Joe Biden a stroke. He is gazing at the ceiling, his eyes rolling back in his head. He may start foaming. He’s furious.

9:58 PM — Have we ever told you that our son, who is now an 18-year-old dickhead, originally came to us when he was a year old, and his first mama had died? We were 22, and making $22,000 per year. The only thing that made it possible was Social Security. Listening to Paul Ryan piously spout off about how he loves Social Security Survivors Benefits while trying to dismantle the system, is making us kiss our own knuckles. Oooh, that puss. Ooh, that earnest, lying puss. Some day, knuckles. Some day.

10:01 PM — So far Joe Biden wins, for not decking that little creep in the mouth with Joe Jameson and Pops McGee.

10:06 PM — OH NOW YOU’RE JACK KENNEDY. OH SHIT OH SHIT. There is much yelling in our loft right now, like so: OH SHIT! DAAAAMN Joe Biden!! FUCK YEH.

10:08 PM — Joe Biden makes a DRAMATIC face of ORLY? like a combination of Auntie Mame and a young black woman giving you side eye. It is fairly (by which we mean completely) awesome and hilarious.

10:15 PM — Sara Benincasa is taking the reins for a while while we relax and chill the fuck out. Enjoy her!

10:17 PM — It is I, your Sara Benincasa, you fucking fucks. You stupid libruls probably think Joey Biden is wiping the floor with the handsome young man from Handsometown. Hahah, I am here to prove you wrong! (J/K, Biden is killing it.)

10:18 PM — What is all this argument about “the serge”? It is merely a fine fabric with diagonal thingies on both sides! HA! PUNZ!11!!

10:20 PM — Biden got mad at Mary Martha Maylene Magoo again!

10:20 PM — Biden just made a classic “AROO?! WHAAAAAH?!” face worthy of a Scooby Doo episode.

10:21 PM — Everybody throw your hands in the air and yell, “AFGHANS DO THE JAAAAHB! AFGHANS DO THE JAAAAHB!”

10:23 PM — Ryan majored in Smug Smirk at Face University.

10:24 PM — Your Wonkette, Rebecca, says Joe Biden is trying really hard not to reveal classified info right now, which is why he is stuttering. Probably completely accurate!

10:25 PM — Myself (the Benincasa) and your Wonkette (the Rebecca) would like to note that our vaginas feel alone and untended by these gentlemen. GIVE US OUR PRECIOUS SOCIAL ISSUES!!!111!

10:26 PM — Assad is watching at home, going, “Oh, that is so not what I would do. I would give out hugs! I just wants to give the hugs!”

10:27 PM — Someone in the audience just audibly went, “Ooh!” Or maybe it was “Whoo!” like some sort of owlish impression.

10:28 PM — Rebecca just pointed out Ryan’s Sincerity Forehead. She also points out how hard the nuns all hate Paul Ryan. “They hate him as hard as Joe Biden hates him,” she sez. HAHAHAH I AM LOL!!!111!!

10:29 PM — AHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH “BEAN” AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!111!!! Paul Ryan wins all debates forever, the end.

10:31 PM — BTW Rebecca’s ex-boyfriend calls Ryan “creepy human frog.” This is a very accurate assessment of his fucking face.

10:32 PM — Joey BiBi needs to chill with the “my friend” thing. None of us are buying it.

10:33 PM — Martha can’t stop talking about abortions. She’s been saving up for this all night long (all night! all night! all night long! all night!)

10:34 PM — Rebecca points out that JUDGES ARE SUPPOSED TO MAKE DECISIONS THAT IS THE POINT OF JUDGES PAUL RYAN.

10:36 PM — Oh yeah, sure, Ryan’s kids are gonna serve one day. Totally.

10:40 PM — Moar beans pleez.

10:41 PM — I, Benincasa, want to put Paul Ryan inside the vagina he so hates. This is a winedrunk way to say I would let him put it on me. Plus it would be extra fun to ‘bort his baby.

10:42 PM — Blah blah blah. “What could you bring as a man?” MY FAT IRISH DICK, sez the Joe Biden in my head.

10:43 PM — Joe Biden is so chill now. Did somebody slip him a sweet sweet doob that he puffed through some hidden orifice?!

10:45 PM — I want to put Joe Biden saying “Honey, it’s gonna be okay” over and over again on loop in my head during secks of all kind.

10:47 PM — The next debate is Tuesday? I need a longer refractory period to cool down from this hot hot rumblin’. YEAAAAAAAH.

In summation, everyone is a homosexual, except for Martha, everyone wins and no one loses, Jesus is the reason for the season, the end! Thanks for hanging out, you unwashed beasts! Haha, haha, also, FYI, you can hang out with Rebecca and I, Benincasa, on the Twitterz.

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 2108 comments }

Beowoof October 11, 2012 at 8:42 pm

Fucker looks like Goober Pyle.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 8:48 pm

shazam!

Pragmatist2 October 11, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Goober Pyle libel!

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Goober was more doable than that.

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:12 pm

He looks like the worst white frat rapper to ever come outta Massapequa.

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 10:52 pm

I don't know wut Massapequa is, but I suspect it suffers a dearth of white frat rappers of any excellence.

bibliotequetress October 12, 2012 at 4:10 pm

If a space alien with no prior knowledge of Earth, of the United States, of the state of New York, crashed in a parking lot in Massapequa, it would step from it's mangled saucer, look around, and think, "Shit! I'm on Long Island."

MittBorg October 12, 2012 at 4:24 pm

That's some pretty knowledgeable fucking aliens right there, Missy. LongIsland, no less.

Didja ever see Brother From Another Planet?

sullivanst October 13, 2012 at 1:22 pm

crashed in a parking lot in Massapequa

Funny thing is, between Sunrise Mall and the train station, it's very likely that an alien crashing in Massapequa would do so in a parking lot.

The name still never fails to make me think of the Optimum commercial with Barry Bostwick, though.

bibliotequetress October 12, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Perhaps it may also help to point out that notable Massapequans include the Baldwin brothers, Candy Darling, Brian Kilmeade, and Joey Buttafuoco.

MittBorg October 12, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Oy, gevalt. Now you've said way more than I want to know. Although I haven't a clue who Candy Darling is. Would I want a taste?

Isyaignert October 12, 2012 at 1:33 am

If Goober Pyle and Count Dracula had a baby it'd look like Paul Ryan.

MittBorg October 12, 2012 at 4:25 pm

You know *this* is why I love you, right? RIGHT?

LibertyLover October 12, 2012 at 2:24 am

Full metal jacket style?

VeraSevera October 12, 2012 at 5:23 pm

More like Eddie Munster merged with ET

Texan_Bulldog October 11, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Is that a real picture?

For some reason the pic of Paulie wearing the cap backwards, ear buds and doing some curls tends to make me feel like he might be auditioning for the wrong gig.

Beowoof October 11, 2012 at 8:58 pm

A gay friend mine has always told me that the only reason men wear a baseball cap backwards is because they are giving blowjobs. Somehow I can see him being popular in the gym shower.

Texan_Bulldog October 11, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Well, I was actually thinking of one of those Jersey Shore guys or whatever, but I'll take gay porn star. I just don't think that pic screams "qualified to be Vice President."

zumpie October 11, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Just showed the hubster the picture. He giggled

Callyson October 12, 2012 at 3:29 am

Oh, *that's* the reason? FFS, I've been wondering about that for years now, but suddenly it all makes sense to me…

kittensdontlie October 12, 2012 at 9:56 am

There's more…and more.

Texan_Bulldog October 12, 2012 at 10:53 am

OMG it's bizarre their campaign would release these.

sullivanst October 13, 2012 at 1:15 pm

It's almost as if the dumbell is a metaphor for something else he might be grasping in his hand and pulling towards his mouth. If only I could work out what…

VeraSevera October 12, 2012 at 5:24 pm

If he had a ball gag in his mouth with that little boy earnest expression it could be the makings of a HOT spanking scene…

freakishlywrong October 11, 2012 at 8:43 pm

For the record, laydezz. Is Fugelsang fuckable or just tingly? Shitgodamm.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Hummina hummina hummina

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 8:55 pm

That picture puts my stomach in a knot. He looks like the smug egotist that he is.

Beowoof October 11, 2012 at 9:00 pm

We saw him do his show live, and I thought the wife was going to dump me on the spot for Fugelsang.

Pat_Pending October 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

John Fugelsang, The Ecclesiastical Mook, is high on my fap list…

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 8:44 pm

Oh FFS, how many people will be alienated from getting into working out because of this asshole?

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 10:35 pm

Me. I swear. I will never work out again, because I do not want to be like that asshole

thatsitfortheother1 October 12, 2012 at 10:22 am

lol

bibliotequetress October 12, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Stick to your principles!

MittBorg October 12, 2012 at 11:14 pm

I'll probly weasel out before I'm in real danger of sticking to my chair.

WordSaladNation October 11, 2012 at 8:45 pm

FUCKSHIT. I pre-drank all my wine, so I've only got seltzer. And I'm watching Chromeo perform live at Daryl's house, which is really fun. Method of modern love, and all that!

I will spike my seltzer.

dogscantlookup October 11, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Yay! Sara Benincasa!Yay!

Francis Urquhart October 11, 2012 at 8:45 pm

That's his secret Craigslist sexy time picture.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Lemme see here… vodka? Check. Cigarettes? Check. Righteous indignation? Check. Editrix + Special surprise guest? Check. Wonketteers? Check.

All right. Let's see if Paul Ryan actually shows up for this shit.

finallyhappy October 11, 2012 at 8:46 pm

On Aljazeera – there is a commentator from Northern Ireland who pronounces Barack as Bark – I do not plan to watch on Al Jazeera

mille derps October 11, 2012 at 11:17 pm

I love the BBC announcers who say "O'Bomber".

Mittens Howell, III October 11, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Kudos for the birth certificate thing Ryan, you sure you're a Republican?

Oh, yeah: forcible rape/ death of medicare / compulsive lying – check, check, and check!

Sic 'em Joe.

freakishlywrong October 11, 2012 at 8:46 pm

Only douchenozzles wear their hats like that. Douchenozzle.

AlterNewt October 11, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Gingeriffic!

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 8:56 pm

You know, they have sensitive nipples.

Barbara_ October 11, 2012 at 8:47 pm

Ack! I haven't started drinking yet. Let me catch up.

snowpointsecret October 11, 2012 at 8:48 pm

He looks like an early '90s "rapper" in that picture.

Texan_Bulldog October 11, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Vanilla Ice Ice, Baby…who was also a fraud (Google him if you don't know what I'm talking about).

CthuNHu October 11, 2012 at 10:50 pm

You got a problem? Yo, I'll privatize it.

emmelemm October 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Fred Durst, Limp Bizkit. Red baseball cap. Seriously.

snarkycomments October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Slime Shady?

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 10:44 pm

AND the tail and ears to snarky!

JackObin October 11, 2012 at 8:48 pm

This race is all but over, leaving this "debate" a showpiece for two serious lightweights. Warm up the mormon cider kids. Oh and by the way, only a very small part of New York is civilized. North of Manhattan is Alabama with snow and no jobs.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Trollin' hard tonight, if a mite scattershot!

DemmeFatale October 11, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Lighten up, Francis!

Willardbot9000_V2.5 October 11, 2012 at 9:57 pm

All but over, really? You really should take a prozac or something…just because Faux Nuuz is all butt rammey does not mean anything.

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 8:48 pm

Huh. I googled "Imminent Server Failure" and ended up here.

Hello? Tap, tap, tap…

Barbara_ October 11, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Question for Sara Benincasa.
Would you do Steve Schmidt? I am sober, but he's looking kinda good to me right now.

If not, would you do my husband? He just gave me a dirty look.

Limeylizzie October 11, 2012 at 9:01 pm

I would totally do Steve Schmidt preferably in a three-way with Mudcat Saunders, the accents would make me crazy hot.

starfanglednut October 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Would uniforms be involved?

Limeylizzie October 11, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Yes, please.

commiegirl99 October 12, 2012 at 12:31 am

Seriously, Lizzie dear one, what the fuck? I enjoy Steve Schmidt's brand of biting the hand that feeds him as much as the next girl, but that's NOT a man I'd give my royal treasure to.

Lucidamente1 October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Thanks for that image, LL. I'll be back as soon as I have my eyeballs removed.

Limeylizzie October 11, 2012 at 11:03 pm

Bald heads and Cunnilingus, divine.

Boojum October 12, 2012 at 6:40 am

I'm bald. Just throwing that out there.

SaraJBenincasa October 12, 2012 at 2:14 am

I would not do Steve Schmidt, nor would I do your husband, because it is mean that he gave you a dirty look!!!

Boojum October 12, 2012 at 6:40 am

I gave her a warm and melting look, through the Tubes.

Wadisay October 11, 2012 at 8:49 pm

I hope Joe congratulates Ryan on how is marathon time is improving as he gets older.

fuflans October 11, 2012 at 8:49 pm

well i have discovered the key to the most fabulous creamy risotto: 1/2 bottle of red wine.

see you all in 10….

AlterNewt October 11, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Tease!

bobbert October 11, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Do you mean you put the wine in the risotto, or you put the wine in fulflans and it makes the risotto fabulous?

fuflans October 11, 2012 at 8:56 pm

oh the wine in the fuflans and more to come.

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 8:57 pm

You put the wine in the coconut, then you drink it all up.

WordSaladNation October 11, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Are you on the See Enn Enn Geocities website page? They have the thing tagged as "BIDEN VS. RYAN: ONE NIGHT ONLY." Maybe it'll be an all night thing?

BoroPrimorac October 11, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Look, a buffed up Screech.

Mittens Howell, III October 11, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Debate starts in five, can someone pull that biker chick off Joe, please.

Sharkey October 11, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Paul, haven't you had enough bong hits already?

Isyaignert October 12, 2012 at 1:35 am

Haha – that was awesome!!

Doktor Zoom October 12, 2012 at 1:51 am

Joe gets all the biker chicks he wants tonight.

Nahh, Dr. Jill just wore her leather skirt.

Sharkey October 11, 2012 at 8:49 pm

LET'S DO THIS!!

Boojum October 11, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Warblog!!!

DougHed October 11, 2012 at 8:50 pm

Curls are for dipshits. I'd Crossfit the hell out of his ass.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 8:51 pm

Crap, I tried to shoo my dogs into the other room so they would not have to listen to my copious cursing, but they are too loyal and are still sitting by my feet.

Better get them a treat or ten, to go with my beer or ten…

Barbara_ October 11, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Callyson, it is time to get our drink on.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Cheers!

Barbara_ October 11, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Cheers, Sugar!

valgal2342 October 11, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Checking in from Kentuck, host state with plenty of bourbon on hand.

Tundra Grifter October 12, 2012 at 11:33 am

Rebel Yell?

LiberalJuice October 11, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Don't bother him, he's working on his glamour muscles.

freakishlywrong October 11, 2012 at 8:52 pm

I'm sure that the minute Handsome Joe suggests that your Ryan is lyin' the media will start tsktskisng and tut tuting about "tone". For fucks sake.

Texan_Bulldog October 11, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Last time the media was concerned he would be too hard on Snowbilly, seeing that she's a little lady. Hope Joe smashes him in the mouth … with truthisms!

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Pretty much.

savethispatient October 11, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Let's hope he keeps his "BFD" (that Dr Biden has seen up close) in his pants.

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 8:53 pm

How many of us here have no pants on?

Blueb4sinrise October 11, 2012 at 8:57 pm

awn mah haid!!!!!!

emmelemm October 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm

All of us, Katie.

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 11:16 pm

THIS is why I'm supposed to READ before replying.

OTOH, great minds think alike, right?

BlueStateLibel October 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Sort of.

fatbob54 October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Hitler?

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 11:15 pm

I'm guessing ALL of us, Katie?

stew1 October 11, 2012 at 8:53 pm

That's MISTER Ryan, bitches!!!

JadedPreppy October 11, 2012 at 8:53 pm

The Fresh Prince of Fuck No.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 8:54 pm

The moderator can't use the term "Congressman Ryan"?

Saving Mister Ryan…from having to admit what he does for a living…

Barbara_ October 11, 2012 at 8:56 pm

I think she should call him "former Congressman Ryan"

Estproph October 11, 2012 at 8:54 pm

Nope. Not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture.

imalittleteap0t October 11, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Craigslist missed connection: To smarmy asshole in red hat- you're obviously new to this. If you want to deepthroat me, don't stare bitch. You're trying too hard.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 8:55 pm

Hey, MSNBC finally got smart–

AW FUCK, I was just going to say that MSNBC got smart and kept Tweety away, but Chris Matthews is going on as I type this. Let's see if C-Span has this on…

ETA: they do and I'm off…

WordSaladNation October 11, 2012 at 8:56 pm

You're getting something? I'm still getting "STANDING BY FOR LIVE VIDEO," like it's 1955 and we're waiting for the cartoons to start.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 8:59 pm

I've got the TV on instead of livestreaming. Just got a big screen TV a while ago and I want to see the duel in high definition…

vodkamuppet October 11, 2012 at 8:55 pm

So, should I hate watch this thing on FOX or watch on PBS and smash my head on a table everytime David Brooks speaks?

Designer_Rants October 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

We're doing PBS. It's the safe choice.

Francis Urquhart October 11, 2012 at 8:56 pm

A certain act requires him to wear the hat backwards, otherwise the visor gets in the way.

SheriffRoscoe October 11, 2012 at 8:56 pm

The folks at P90X should totally sue him for defamation.

Crank_Tango October 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

I'm sure he'd just take it on the chin.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 8:57 pm

If it's your refresh that crashes the liveblog, you win a Westgate Resorts timeshare vacation and a ride on Trophy Wife!

Barbara_ October 11, 2012 at 9:00 pm

What happened to the super duper back rub and the coupon for a Subway sammich?

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Would that be the Queen of Versailles? No thanks, man.

Tundra Grifter October 12, 2012 at 12:20 pm

CK:

Ole Newt has a Trophy Wife – too bad she's a Participant.

[Yes, I do think I've used that joke here before. I still think it's funny.]

Pragmatist2 October 11, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Pragmatist Rule #11: Anyone over 30 who wears a baseball hat backwards is an asshole.

BarackMyWorld October 11, 2012 at 8:58 pm
Limeylizzie October 11, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Oh God, I am afeared.

Barbara_ October 11, 2012 at 9:01 pm

I'll hold you, sis.

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Keep Calm and Carry Gin

cheetojeebus October 11, 2012 at 8:58 pm

Is this that kid who they make those yard decorations of? You know, the little kid playing hide and seek? Creeepy

OurHoboSenator October 11, 2012 at 8:58 pm

I bet Paul Ryan insists on still calling his alma mater's mascots Redskins instead of Redhawks. He seems like the type.

imissopus October 11, 2012 at 8:58 pm

I've been warming up for this by smoking weed and listening to Red House Painters "Uncle Joe" on repeat.

chascates October 11, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Sounds like the 'Algonquin roundtable' of the west coast is meeting tonight. You California girls!

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 8:59 pm

OT before we get started. I get mail all the time from the United Steelworkers. I've never been a member but my late father was. Apparently they know intuitively that I am his most radical child. Anyway … I got a lovely letter from the USW prez yesterday slamming Romney. Paragraph after paragraph, taking his and Bain's inventory.

Groovy. But NOT ONCE did it ever suggest the person I should be voting for. Obama and Biden's name never appeared in the letter at all. Are they really so down on him that they don't care if I don't vote for him, so long as you don't vote for the evil Rmoney?

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 11, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Don't know much election law, but if it is not from their political arm, it could be they cannot endorse a specific candidate in their literature.

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Oh, that answers my question. It was just a letter from the USW president on what looked like his personal letterhead. Thanks.

cbbruuno October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

May be from a PAC that goes under the law that they can not directly endorse a candidate but can attack a candidate.

Limeylizzie October 11, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Why do people think this clown is hot? He's no fucking Handsome Joe Biden.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Someone explained it as a "butterface" thing, but that only counts if Ryan lets you call him "her".

sudsmckenzie October 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

But he could totally pull off a Waffen S.S. uniform.

Limeylizzie October 11, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Nope. Not intelligent and stern enough. John Thune could though.

tessiee October 11, 2012 at 10:36 pm

I'm thinking Sting or Malcolm McDowell in those black Hugo Boss Nazi uniforms, but then I'm partial to the blondies.

kittensdontlie October 11, 2012 at 10:24 pm

He also has pussy arms. Biden could kick his ass easy.

Callyson October 12, 2012 at 3:36 am

My experience is that it's the so-so looking guys who know how to turn it on in the bedroom, whereas the hot looking guys tend to be disappointing…

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 8:59 pm

It's on!

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Time to get started–come on, slackers, get your asses on the stage!

poorgradstudent October 11, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Even big biceps can't distract from that Wicked Witch of the West face.

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:00 pm

Gawd, Steve Schmidit thinks he's Yoda. Ugh

JustPixelz October 11, 2012 at 9:04 pm

I see Rachel surrounded by the Men of MSNBC. I can also see why she is non-heterosexual.

sayprettyplease October 11, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Muppet mouth

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:01 pm

I hope Joe Biden doesn't take advantage of Paul Ryan's youth and inexperience.

OurHoboSenator October 11, 2012 at 9:04 pm

I think I read a slashfic about that happening

WordSaladNation October 11, 2012 at 9:01 pm

I can't get a good livestream, and then my Safari crashed. Fuck. This doesn't bode well.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Red carpet treatment. They must be expecting blood.

Pat_Pending October 11, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Who are the women (or men) who want to get lost in those blue eyes??? Dude looks like a lipless Kathy Griffin.

Watching on CSPAN, cuz I'm a purist.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Showtime!

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Sweet Uncle Joe vs. "The Scowl" :(

cromiller October 11, 2012 at 9:02 pm

Sara! Hunterdon Central represent!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Hey Paul Ryan showed up! Drink!

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:03 pm

OH YEAH she said "Congressman Paul Ryan." You can run but you can't hide from your title, fucker!

Boojum October 11, 2012 at 10:35 pm

And Biden called him "the Congressman" ALL NIGHT LONG!

Lucidamente1 October 11, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Benincasa and Commiegirl together? Screw the debate, let's fap!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Why can't you do both?

FakaktaSouth October 11, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Here we go! Paul looks tiny in that chair. Especially his head part.

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Well — Martha just disclosed her partisan bias by calling Paul "Congressman." O the disrespect.

Callyson October 12, 2012 at 3:37 am

God bless her for that one.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Oh God, Libya. I don't think I can handle the politicization of that from an asshole whose party voted to cut embassy security.

Limeylizzie October 11, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Is Martha Raddatz drunk?

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:05 pm

She' being a bitch.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

I am.

Limeylizzie October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Awesome.

WordSaladNation October 11, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Biden's hair looks like a Chia Pet™.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:05 pm

His hairline looks more filled in than it did last time when you could see each transplant scar.

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:04 pm

SHIT! Ryan is wearing a bigger flag pin than Joe, just like Egghead wore a bigger pin then the President.

I call total Flag Bullshit.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:06 pm

He's just hiding behind his flag pin. Plus it distracts from the giant honker.

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

This pin shit is for pussies. I wish some poiticians would nut up and say, "We don't need no stinkin' flag pins."

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 11, 2012 at 9:17 pm

We cannot let there be a Flag Pin Gap!

mille derps October 12, 2012 at 2:15 am

S'okay- unlike R/R, the Dems don't need to overcompensate for chopping veterans' programs.

C_R_Eature October 11, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Ohhhh, Sara
what do you do to these men?
You know the same Rowdy Crowd that was here last time
is back again!

new_pic_for_NEWTer October 12, 2012 at 9:53 am

Way OT and almost too late, but happy cephalopod awareness week!

C_R_Eature October 13, 2012 at 4:00 pm

Thanks! It was Fun and I did my part: Way over at Wonkville the first 6 "Hot" stories and all about Cephalopods!

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:04 pm

None of that Libya stuff would've happened if we had stayed in Iraq — this clearly has Saddam's fingerprints on it.

Barbara_ October 11, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Best Tweet of the day:
Patton Oswalt ‏@pattonoswalt
Somewhere in America, Joe Biden is doing CAPE FEAR-style bar dips while Nazareth's "Hair of the Dog" blasts from the stereo.

just_a_head October 11, 2012 at 9:04 pm

Let's go, Joe!

(Please, please, please)

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:05 pm

God, Ryan's smile is even smarmier than usual. I am already sick of this asshole and he hasn't even spoken yet…

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Seriously, I can't look at that &)*(&_!

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Ben Gazarra has a consulate in Libya?

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:05 pm

Joey is taking a good, serious tone here. Good so far.

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Romney looks kind of like Pvt. Gomer Pyle. And I don't mean that in a good way.

Limeylizzie October 11, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Paul Ryan is all furrowed brow and lipless.

AlterNewt October 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

The very definition of weasel, he is.

Not_Mother October 11, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Martha said "Congressman"

WordSaladNation October 11, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Paul Ryan has really big eyes. He looks like Christopher Lloyd at the end of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? You know, when he's being dipped?

Biff October 11, 2012 at 9:06 pm

I just lost my satellite signal due to a rain/hailstorm. Fuckin' desert.

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Ryan's spouting this shit that Assity and the rest of the right has been going on about — not that they minded when the Dubya minions lied to them and later claimed it was in the interest of national security. This assholism is just ridiculous.

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Is there a technical term for that little 'Eddie Munster' hair valley in his middle forehead?

shelwood46 October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

widow's peak

Boojum October 11, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Cause that's where she hit him, to become a widow.

freakishlywrong October 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Zombie eyed granny starver voted against funds for State Department. Fuck you.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

"Shouldn't we have a marine attachment guarding our ambassador in Libya?"

Yes–how about we get on that, and your fucking party reverses its vote to cut security funding for embassies?

Asshole.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

It's not just Ryan's creepy eyes and ears — the massive, misshapen nose is also extremely hard to look at. What is he talking about?! Blah blah blah.

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Smarmy bastard

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Oh, Joe, I love you.
Ryan must have been shitting his pants before the debate. Does anyone else think his testes sound like they are about the size of a picholine olive? Oh, god, I don't think I can ever enjoy those again.

prommie October 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Smuuuuuuuuuuug fuuuuuuuuuuck die die die die, with votes.

JustPixelz October 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Ryan: "We will call terrorist attack for what it is." That's a new lesson since Dubya who called a terrorist attack an Iraq attack.

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

We don't have a status of forces agreement because we wanted to get the hell out of Iraq, dumbass. Sorry about your global empire.

Limeylizzie October 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Joe is about to slam him, don't bring up Beau Biden, or Bo Obama for that matter.

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Or banana-fana-fo Biden, for that matter.

OurHoboSenator October 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

OMG! Ryan just mentioned Biden's lesbian son! CHENEY LIBEL

FakaktaSouth October 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

We owe the troops a great deal of gratitude. Not at the RNC or anything, but you know, thanks or whatever.

Boojum October 11, 2012 at 10:39 pm

I love this comment. I'm going to gay marry it.

Serolf_Divad October 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

HA! Love that inimitable Biden "you're so full of shit, Paul" smile!

Limeylizzie October 11, 2012 at 9:07 pm

Joe is laughing, is that bad?

Boojum October 11, 2012 at 10:39 pm

Not when it's handsome Joe.

Nothingisamiss October 11, 2012 at 10:45 pm

I love me some Joe laugh.

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Oh, kiss up to the veterans. But you won't vote for programs that would help them.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Oh, you want to talk about projecting weakness abroad, Lyin' Ryan? Where were you when we needlessly invaded Iraq and lost sight of bin Laden?

snowpointsecret October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Biden looks like he wants to smack Ryan. Already.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

I know that I do.

WordSaladNation October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Great. This debate is starting out boring, just like the last one. BORINGNESS.

Bramlet Abercrombie October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Me, too. He can't stop smiling!

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

I'm confused, too. Is the Biden grin a good or bad thing given the topic?

BlueStateLibel October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Kill him, Joe – with words of course.

Barbara_ October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Joe is laughing at Paul. In all fairness, so am I.

WordSaladNation October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

I wonder what Andrew Sullivan is hyperventilating about.

DemonicRage October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

"On that same day, the Obama Administration had the same position." Total lie. As if Obama accused himself of sympathizing with those who burn Embassies.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Ooooh, evil laugh from Joey–he's got a trump card in 3…2…1…

Beowoof October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Fucker lying already. About the Cairo statement.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

I want to get a pack of hippies to tackle and hold down Ryan so I can shave off his little pointed hair thing… you know, a Romney style hair cut.

imissopus October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

I so fuckin' hate this asshole.

Blueb4sinrise October 11, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Never too early to say something stupid!

mavenmaven October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Bunch of Malarkey! Yay!!!!!!

Bramlet Abercrombie October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

YES YES GO VP GO

OurHoboSenator October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

OH SNAP

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

BRING IT!!!!!!!!!!

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Malarkey! I LOVE malarkey.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

JOE ATTACKS!!!!

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Malarkey! Drink!

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

YES! Joey is on it regarding the cuts to embassy security!

Biff October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

LIAR! Point: Old Handsome Joe!

Not_Mother October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Malarky! Drink?

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Smile big, Joey. Ya look good, chief.

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Get 'em, Joe.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Release the Biden!

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Nice catch phrase.

Callyson October 12, 2012 at 3:42 am

Who let the dogs out? Who? Who?

Joey did, muthafuckas!

Seriously, tonight was a beautiful sight…

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

"We should not go imposing these devastating defense cuts" — Ryan

Right — the terrorists are all over our not having 256 air tankers in ten years — it's basically waving the white flag in front of them.

PugglesRule October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Handsome Old Joe calls MALARKEY. That's it, Joe. Come out punching.

smashaduck October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Ryan's Amurkin flag thingy is bigger than Biden's flag thingy. Debate over.

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Malarky!!

C_R_Eature October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

"With all due respect, that's a bunch of Malarkey".

That's my Vice President. Right there.

FakaktaSouth October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

OOOOOH Yes. that is what I want. Malarkey! NOTHING he has said has been true and Joe's gonna say so TO HIS FACE! His wrinkledy weird little face. God I love OHJoe!

AbandonHope_ October 11, 2012 at 9:11 pm

I think this blog just got all NC-17 on us, folks.

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 10:54 pm

She's talking about the face on his *big* head, honest.

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 10:55 pm

I was unaware he had more than one.

MittBorg October 12, 2012 at 12:39 am

The fine teacher who taught our boys in high school assured us that there was a big one and a little one, and that most boys thought with the little one.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

Make him grin big, Joe!! That's when the fucker is the ugliest!

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:09 pm

A bunch of Malarkey! If that's not a call for a shot Scotch, I never heard one!

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

I'm all over it, Pats. Oban for all!

SheriffRoscoe October 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Biden calls bullshit in the first five minutes. For the muther.fuckin.win.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Oooo…Malarkey! I can't wait until he pulls out "shenanigans."

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Is that where we go for the Irish Whiskey?.

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 10:40 pm

Uisquebaugh.

Lucidamente1 October 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

And "hogwash."

DemmeFatale October 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm

YES!!!
The security budget!
Congressman mofo!

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Who is this chick, again?

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm

That "chick" is well-respected reporter Martha Radditz.

MegPasadena October 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Not a single thing he said is accurate.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm

This is not a debate. This is an interview.

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm

It's called the Fog of War

Pat_Pending October 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm

I drink to Malarkey!!!

sudsmckenzie October 11, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Reagan!, drink!!

Beowoof October 11, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Oh yeah Joe called him on being liar.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:11 pm

As they learned more facts they changed their assessment

Oh, well, no wonder Ryan is confused by how the Obama administration handled Libya…

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:11 pm

That side picture of Ryan made him look like the ferret he is.

vodkamuppet October 11, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Fuck. I'm going to end up smoking 19 packs of cigarettes before this thing is over. This smarmy little fucker is already pissing me off.

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 10:55 pm

He is a noisome little shit, ain't he?

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:11 pm

"That's not presidential leadership."

That's what I'm talkin' about!

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:11 pm

What about pissing on burning Korans? To save them?

AlterNewt October 11, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Oh, gosh. Fuck you

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 11, 2012 at 9:12 pm

"Standing up for our values!" Drin… oh never mind.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Oh fuck, this business about when the US should apologize. What a dumb ass non issue…

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

It's up there with "Why do you hate America?"

Joshua Norton October 11, 2012 at 9:12 pm

So is the Wonkette going to break the intertubz tonite? Inquiring mi

Error 404 Not Found

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

No doubt.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:12 pm

Ryan's looking like he don't know what the fuck he's talkin' about.

zumpie October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

And Handsome Joe's laughing at him

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 11:09 pm

And this surprises you.

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

The little twerp is not a president, ever.

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Oh, yeah!

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Gosh yes, gee, lady. Sure we oughta apologize.

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

I'm sorry- did someone not "speak up for our values? Srsly?

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Ryan is horrible at this.

smashaduck October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

I'm just gonna drink every time he says "Marines." See ya'll at my wake!

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Noooo! Don't leave wivout the rest of us!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Al Qaeda and its affiliates are on the rise in Northern Africa.

And you know who else is from Africa?

HarryButtle October 12, 2012 at 1:59 am

Haile Selassie?

Negropolis October 12, 2012 at 2:20 am

Idi Amin?

Mittaplasia October 12, 2012 at 2:25 am

The dearly departed Manute Bol?

Negropolis October 12, 2012 at 2:40 am

Mobutu Sese Seko?

Lascauxcaveman October 12, 2012 at 2:59 am

King Sunny Ade!

Chet Kincaid_ October 12, 2012 at 9:45 am

Fela Libel!

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Maybe we SHOULD apologize for supporting the previous Egyptian regimes.

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

"Al Qaeda is on the rise in Libya and we didn't give our ambassador a Marine detachment?"

Gee Paul — maybe there are more facts that would just make your statement look stupid — not that you would notice.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

FFS, exactly when has Obama apologized for standing up for American values?

Thank God the moderator is changing the topic…

FeloniousMonk October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

OK — second time at the mike for old Joe, and first blood. "A load of malarkey". If I weren't sitting in a bar, I'd be dancing around the room. Looking good, I think.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

The biggest national security this country faces isn't Iran, it's the Republican party.

SheriffRoscoe October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Loses his train of thought. Can't develop his calves. Fuckin Ryan.

lulzmonger October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Political ping-pong over Benghazi = nobody wins.

Apologizing? Yeah, that's in Das Kapital alrighty.

AbandonHope_ October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Now THIS is a moderator.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Pssst – Joe! Don't admit that we had bad intelligence!

Pssst – Fuckwad! You don't get to blame the POTUS for ignoring pleas for higher security at the Embassies when YOU voted down funds for higher security at the Embassies.

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Dr. Jill says Joe's got a nuclear weapon in his pants.

fuflans October 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

in my dreams

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Doncha fekkin' love him? He can fissile material me all night long.

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:13 pm

Radditz is a big improvement as a moderator.

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Yes, she's good.

zumpie October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

She's good and you gotta love how she keeps calling Ryan "congressman"

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Ryan is not about to answer the question about the (in)effectiveness of a military strike on Iran…

Asshole.

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

We should apologize for our Value Meals, though.

AlterNewt October 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

We really should.

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Ryan just said Iran has enough fissile material to make five bombs? Is he fuckin' crazy? I think he's talking about North Korea in 2004.

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Iran had been 5 years away from nuclear weapons capability since 1989. Truth.

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 10:42 pm

Ol' Handsome Joe drilled that one right between Lyin' Ryan's eyes.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

"I will nuke your government retirement and senior healthcare plan first. Then we will annihilate Iran's nuclear capabilities."

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Here is where I miss McCain. Given the question on Iran, McCain would have gone into the whole "I want to kill" speech from Alice's Restaurant.

Not_Mother October 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Wow. He listens to Alex Jones!

Bramlet Abercrombie October 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Ryan's done. Clear and specific? He didn't know that was going to be required! Unfair!

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:14 pm

Joey, I know it's tempting, but don't sigh openly–remember Al Gore. Rise above it and kill Lyin' Ryan with facts and you'll be fine…

Wadisay October 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

When Romney says his options are on the table, he's talking about his stock options.

Blueb4sinrise October 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

We need to solve this peacefully by bombing them!

Barbara_ October 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Awesome Tweet:
LOLGOP ‏@LOLGOP
REMINDER: Joe Biden is the first American vice-president in over a decade who hasn't shot another human being in the face.

Lascauxcaveman October 12, 2012 at 3:04 am

That you know of

(Hey, I know some of you gals and maybe some of you guys have your Handsome Joe fantasies…)

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Biden's grin, on the other hand, is delightful!

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Ooooooooooooh, that evil laugh again. Can't wait to hear Joey now…

prommie October 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Joe's looking at him like "what the fuck bullshit you spouting, boy?"

SheriffRoscoe October 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

You're here!!!!!

fuflans October 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

i think ryan is actually worse than palin.

there i said it.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

It's true. For all her word salads, she had more presence on stage.

YerMa October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

I agree with you both and been saying if fordamnever. But I am from WI so have seen more of Ryan than the rest of you ever should.

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 11:03 pm

True. I hate to admit it, but Sarah was frighteningly good in the demagoguish department. Ryan tries to get by on "charm" (which he really ain't got that much of) and smarm (which he's got aplenty, but fuck me if it ain't a turnoff).

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 11:11 pm

He strikes me as a cocksucker (and not of the good kind).

MittBorg October 12, 2012 at 12:41 am

I sure as hell wouldn't put Mister Happy into that lipless slit of a mouth.But yeah. He's the kind of guy who SO wants to suck your dick but only because he thinks he'll get something out of it. So will you, but it's usually something you *don't* want, like the clap.

cromiller October 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

That's a bold statement!

NellCote71 October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Yeah, he's smirkin' but not flirtin'.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

When is Ryan gonna shutthefuckup?

under_score October 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Every time Joe laughs, I laugh, and I wait for the smackdown. BOOM

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

I say let the free market deal with Iran.

kanthom October 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

I just loved me some Biden chuckle.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:15 pm

"Republican congress" tee hee

MegPasadena October 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Obama blocking the sanction to Iran? WTF?

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Take over that table Joe!

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Handsome Joe is reassuring. And handsome.

imissopus October 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

I'm listening on the radio and it sounds like Ryan keeps sighing and clearing his throat like a little brat.

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

He's smirking, too.

FakaktaSouth October 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

A Romney administration (shudder) would have a lot of (really wretched terrible)things, credibility ain't any of them. Can you fucking imagine? Of ALL words, CREDIBILITY?

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Big gulp of water…Ryan looks scared…

NellCote71 October 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Let's hope he took the astronautrix's fashion hint and wore his Depends.

Beowoof October 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Joe be schooling the boy on Iran.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Keep chuggin' that Zima, Paul!

Pat_Pending October 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

My husband is afraid of Joe's teeth. Wuss.

NellCote71 October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

They are awesomely Chiclet white. Joe's teeth, not your husband. I don't know if that describes your husband or not.

SheriffRoscoe October 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Oh god it's not a fair fight is it?

Blueb4sinrise October 11, 2012 at 9:16 pm

Tell 'em Joe. Israeli Intel sez so too.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Love how Biden is pressing the point on how the US and Israel agree on the Iran bomb issue…

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:17 pm

"What are they talking about?", indeed, Mr. Biden. We're wondering the same thing.

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Yay Joe — Ryan is full of shit and Joe's the guy to say that clearly.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:17 pm

At the end of this debate Joe needs to set Paul on his knee and tell him he did pretty good for a kid.

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Ryan is talking about credibility. Ryan is taking about credibility . Rya…bollocks bollocks bollocks.

OT of Iran, did everyone read the news about the Maersk embargo? Like it or not, that's a kidney punch.

Wadisay October 11, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Ryan is using his puppy dog face. Joe should reach over and scratch his nose.

mayor_quimby October 11, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Ahem, Iran is kinda having trouble with the sanctions. By trouble, I mean riots
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/04/world/middleeas
Also, STUXNET, bitches!!!!

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:17 pm

How to prevent war? Tax breaks!

AlterNewt October 11, 2012 at 9:17 pm

"These are the most crippling sanctions in the history of sanctions. Period. Period."

~Joe Biden~

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 9:17 pm

OK, Ryan's starting to trip over his own dick. Nice.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Also they will outlaw booze!

imissopus October 11, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Martha keeps calling him Congressman. She is in the tank for Obama!

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Let's look at this from the view of the ayatollahs

That should be easy for a member of the American Taliban like Ryan…

kanthom October 11, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Every time Biden smiles an angel gets it's wings.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Paul Ryan is actually word-salading here!

VinnyThePooh October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Stop reading John Clancy, Paul Lyin.

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

OH SNAP!

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Carl Jung knows who wins this.

gullywompr October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Smilin' Joe!

JustPixelz October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Am I crazy or is Ryan in word salad mode?

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

At least by radio, Handsome Joe sounds much smarter than Junior.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

cartoon bomb libel!

MegPasadena October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

All this loose talk! Zing.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

What is the view from the Iatola?

Jerri October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

After that last one I can't take this one. I overheard ryan saying "oh gosh!"
from the tv in the other room and that just about gave me a fucking coronary.

SkinnyNerd October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Nuclear spring? Is that Arab Spring 2.0?

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Martha's good.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Love the moderator pushing back on Ryan's rambling about how we need to change the Iranians' mind. Now, if only she would give Biden equal time here…

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Go Joe Go!

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

'Kay guys, my Telly's crapping out on me so I'm a little out of the loop here. What'd I miss?

Callyson October 12, 2012 at 3:52 am

Biden kicked ass. Go ahead and get a good night's sleep…

PugglesRule October 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Old Handsome Joe grins at Eddie Munster's comments. Especially when Ryan says stuff like, "We've got to get (Iran) to change their minds."

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Joe is an Alpha male! Paul is not.

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

I think PBS said Biden's made over 6,900 train trips (mainly back to DE, to get to his family after the tragedy they had). I don't see Ryan in anything but a private railway car. And not enjoying that.

miss_grundy October 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

In 2008, if I remember correctly, there was video at the convention with the conductor who used to see him on the train everyday commuting to DC.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Stop letting that pipsqueak answer first. GET IT UNDER CONTROL!

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

They're spinning the centrifuges faster. We must make them go slower!

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Raddatz says Netanyahu's "red line" happens this spring. Oh, and Ryan just finished bitching about how we should agree with Israel on everything. I'm so glad our president isn't committed to Israel regardless of how crazy the PM at the time is.

Beowoof October 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Oh Joe, I could hug you for going after Ryan on Bebe.

Pat_Pending October 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

A BUNCH OF STUFF!!! DRINK!!!

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

When he shows his teeth, look out.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Oh, Joe has GOT this thing. Game over, man.

I told you he would pull rank like a boss.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:19 pm

This is all a bunch of stuff!

AlterNewt October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

…and nonsense!

shelwood46 October 11, 2012 at 10:05 pm
AlterNewt October 11, 2012 at 11:15 pm

Nice.

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Bull-fucking-stuff!

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Oh, Joe, you are crushing this little insect!!!!

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

"This is a bunch of stuff"

Too bad Joey isn't on Wonkette, where he could say exactly what he means…

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Why are Ryan's eyes so red? Does he think we won't see that behind his nose?

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

OHJB: This is a buncha malarkey.

Bramlet Abercrombie October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

New slogan: "This is a bunch of stuff! Obama/Biden"

Beowoof October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Malarkey would have been the word to have for the drinking game.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Irish Malarkey! Drink! A lot.

AbandonHope_ October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Both my grandfathers are dead, so I hereby nominate Joe Biden to replace them. (Once he stops cozying up to the MPAA and RIAA, that is.)

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

"I am Bibi's daughter's godfather!! Bibi and I chase women together, although I throw 'em back because I love Jill! Don't fuckin' talk to me about Bibi, Kid."

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Next Joe will whisper 'can you believe this guy'!

Beowoof October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

That Oh God, was the best.

SnarkoMarx October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Handsome Joe sounds a lot like Fred Willard in "Best In Show".

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

He's making the Smirker heel.

OurHoboSenator October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Facts matter. BOOM.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Thanks heavens we have these sanctions in place

The same sanctions you were dissing two minutes ago, Ryan? Bitch, please…

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 11:08 pm

I know. OHJB trapped him so neatly with that one. I don't think the fucker even realized what had happened as he watched his sliced ass fall slowly to the ground.

Wadisay October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

I'm 4 years closer to my next colonoscopy, too.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

FACTS MATTER!!

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Loose talk Malarky, LMAO

PugglesRule October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

"You're a foreign policy expert, Martha. FACTS matter." Zing, Joe! Zing!

Bramlet Abercrombie October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Biden: Facts matter.
Ryan: Facts? Matter?

YerMa October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Facts matter, Martha!

kapow!

cromiller October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Facts matter!

MegPasadena October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

This is a bunch of stuff. Irish.

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 11:07 pm

That was cute. His mouth said "stuff." His eyes said "shit."

Biff October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

FACTS MATTER!!11!

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Biffster-Bean! Give 'em hell.

MOAR SHOUTY!!

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 11:07 pm

So was it good for you, MittBorg?

I'm having a very nice afterglow right now.

MittBorg October 12, 2012 at 12:39 am

RRRowr, darling. Absolutely Rrrowr.

redarmyzombie October 12, 2012 at 1:31 am

Yup. It's still goin'!

As a matter of fact, it kinda makes me want to go for a night on the town…

Biff October 11, 2012 at 11:39 pm

I fell in love with Joebiden all over again tonight.

MittBorg October 12, 2012 at 12:30 am

Can't find you on Wonketz, hope this gets there.Yeah, me too. He was great.

Biff October 12, 2012 at 12:42 am

I changed my avatar in honor of Joe Cool, so look for Snoopy in shades instead of the choking chicken, who will return subsequently.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Not. True.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Joe is just burning Ryan

SheriffRoscoe October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

FACTS MATTER BITCH!

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Sorry, sonny.

FakaktaSouth October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Did Joe just say Oh god damn under his breath? I know he did, I know it. Just, oh god damn Paul Ryan you and your bullshit, just bullshit. And don't be talking about what's Irish. I give a shit what your name is. Just, no.

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 11:05 pm

Girl, you sharpened yourself up with a crate of the best gin, or something. You are on fucking FIRE tonight.

under_score October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

"Malarky" is going to beat "literally" tonight

Misty Malarky October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

…huh?

Callyson October 12, 2012 at 3:56 am

Malarky to literally: Bitch, please…there is only one Queen of Snark, and that would be me…

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Joe is literally fighting back an actual laugh.

JustPixelz October 11, 2012 at 9:21 pm

Pretty sure "credibility" was on Ryan's word-a-day calendar today.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Moderator is trying again to get Ryan to answer the question on using military power in Iran. He is refusing to answer it again.

PLEASE, MSM, please call this fucker out on his weaseling ways…

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

I think I could take Joe Biden as my lawyer.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Facts matter! Not True! Go Joe!

BarryOPotter October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Facts matter, Gomez.

Blueb4sinrise October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Gates ! Gonna dis Gates?

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

"And if we have to take action, we will have the rest of the world behind us — that matters."

Yes! Remember when our president's motto was "Let them hate us, so long as they fear us?" Guess what — the Democrats' foreign policy of not treating every nation like it needs to be taken down produces better results.

lulzmonger October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Biden to GOP: Eat Stuff & Die (with votes!)

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

I haven't heard about the Ayatollah since 1979, did Eddie Munster see "Argo"?

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Okay this is painful. Too late to nominate Palin?

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

This guy is so out of his depth.

miss_grundy October 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm

If it was written by Ayn Rand, Eddie Munster doesn't know about it!

tifgill October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

"That is a bunch of…stuff."

OHJB narrowly avoids saying "bullshit" on live television.

AlterNewt October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Now THAT, Mr. VP, is magnificent condescension.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

"Fact matter" is already the line of the night.

Callyson October 12, 2012 at 3:57 am

I think it should be the Obama campaign slogan.

VinnyThePooh October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Bat Boy has proven his knowledge of what people think.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

I keep thinking I'm going to get a nuclear weapon, but does anyone take me seriously?

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

DAMN IT, moderator, give Joey equal time!

StillGoinGreen October 11, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Is Martha going to address all questiond to Fuck head Ryan?

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Bam!

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Oh, Paul, do TELL us ladies what's worse! Lecture us from your brilliant foreign policy cloud of brilliance!

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 10:59 pm

Just send him a picture of a pussy captioned "I found your nose. It was in my bizniss."

tessiee October 11, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Your comment could only be improved by being typeset over a picture of Condescending Wonka.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

I may be mistaken–he changes his mind so often

NICE, Joey!

mavenmaven October 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

nice dig about mind changing!

AbandonHope_ October 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Paulie Boy… when we go all "all options are on the table" aka "we're gonna bomb y'all," the first thing the Ayatollah says is "hey, maybe I should get, I don't know, a nuclear weapon to protect ourselves".

Bramlet Abercrombie October 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

"He changes his mind so often, I could be wrong." I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE NOW

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

"He changes his mind so often..' Bless you, Joe!

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

"If they get nukes, everyone in the neighborhood will want 'em! It's like when my Dad got a new Weber Genesis with 9 burners!"

nirrti_rachelle October 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

I just love how Biden habitually puts emphases on each word in a sentence. "We. Will. Not. Bomb. Iran." "I. Do. Not. Think. We……"

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

"Big nations can't bluff, this president doesn't bluff." That left claw marks.

snowpointsecret October 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

Biden basically just threw out the Etch-A-Sketch accusation. This is amazing.

BarryOPotter October 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

"Look, Martha, Guvnah Rmoney changes his mind so much…"

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 11, 2012 at 9:23 pm

So, Biden is just going with genial asshole tonight. I can take that. Ryan seems in retreat mode. Still have a long way to go.

emmelemm October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Pace yourself!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 11, 2012 at 10:16 pm

The life of a Wonketter is always intense.

commiegirl99 October 12, 2012 at 1:05 am

Plate of shrimp.

emmelemm October 12, 2012 at 3:23 am

The life of a Wonketeer is not always glamorous, but it is rewarding.

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

I could really go for some yellow cake right about now.

OurHoboSenator October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

nom nom nom

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

If I'm not mistaken, "Bibi" should have been our drink word. Mogen David!

Biff October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Unemployment isn't foreign affairs, Blondie!

Will_Panic October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Rebecca and Benincasa and rainbows, it's like a fantasy come true.

VeraSevera October 12, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Yes, but heaven on earth would be Jennifer Granholm debating Connie Rice and the Wonkettes having hot lady sex while they blog…

Mumbletypeg October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Biden sounds like The Only Adult In The Room from where I'm listening

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Same here. Hope it's not just the radio effect.

Boojum October 11, 2012 at 10:54 pm

No, he looked that way, too.

SayItWithWookies October 12, 2012 at 1:04 am

Martha Raddatz was there too.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

I forget how many months straight of private sector job growth we've had under Obama. Joey, can you remind me?

under_score October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

47%!!!! Drink up homies!

cheetojeebus October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

47% woohooo!

PugglesRule October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

47% of the American people — oh yeah, OHJB went there!! ZING!!!

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Isn't the last name pronounced "Rebozo"?

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! 47%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beowoof October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Oh no Joe is bring up facts about the economy. Oh yeah let Detroit go bankrupt. And the 47%

sudsmckenzie October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

47% Drink!!

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Scranton, drink!

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Oh, shit! Get 'im Joe!

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Put a Hitler mustache (and a little less nose) on Ryan and he'd look just like Bashar Assad.

FakaktaSouth October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

There it is! There it is! Let Detroit go bankrupt! Wooo! Damn Joe you are good baby, you are good.

fuflans October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

foreign policy was a gimme to uncle joe.

and it worked. he's on his game and little lord ryan is backfooted.

rock on.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Ohoh. Ryan's flag pin is bigger.

snowpointsecret October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

And now the 47 percent. Biden paid attention to what Obama didn't do and then doubled it.

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Tell him! TELL HIM, JOE!!!!

Biff October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

TAXES! DRINK!

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

We should be hearing 47% over and over again, every day. We should be sick of hearing that by now. I'm glad someone in the Obama admin has decided to use it.

JustPixelz October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

$1.6 trillion dollars lost in recession. That's like $50 to rich people

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

God, it's fun to watch a good guy with a big penis.

johnnyzhivago October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Get em JOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

47%. DRINK!!!!

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Okay, Telly's working now, and oh god, Joe had better keep talkin'!

Wadisay October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Go on, Joe, slap that little twat with the back of your hand!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

I just had a Joe-gasm

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Lesson: Don't fuck with the old guy, lightweight.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

He's ON FIRE!

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

"I was at the 47%'s niece's wedding last week! Don't fuckin' talk to me about the 47%, Kid!"

Barbara_ October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Joe is hitting his stride. Keep saying "47%"

C_R_Eature October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Biden is On Fire. Good. He's sounding almost as pissed off as I am.

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 11:14 pm

He did good, huh?

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

God damn — I'm taking Joe to Thanksgiving to give my great-uncle what for.

lulzmonger October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Norquist = DRINK! (koolaid)

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Instead of signing pledges to Grover Norquist, sign one for the middle class…no different rules for Wall Street and Main Street

Love it! Go Joey!

Beowoof October 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Slamming Grover Norquist and appealing to the middle class. Joe is burning this up.

BlueStateLibel October 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Joe starting to drink Ryan's milkshake already.

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 11:14 pm

Honey, he drank it up, pissed it all over Ryan, and wiped his dick on the kid's hair.

Callyson October 12, 2012 at 4:01 am

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like
It's better than yours,
Damn right it's better than yours,
I can teach you,
But I have to charge

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Oh, feck! The 47%!!! And the debate is over 25 minutes after it began. Watch Barry O rip Willard a new one next week. I am giggling like a schoolgirl.

NellCote71 October 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Yahoooo! You go Joe. Who's Big Dog now. Eat shit Ryan and die.

NellCote71 October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I meant "die" with votes, of course.

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 11:22 pm

We all knew that.

SheriffRoscoe October 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Joe, save some punches for later, man!

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Straight outta the Janesville Country Club!

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Joe wants the Reeps to take responsibility…good luck with that…

MegPasadena October 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Joe is firing up! 47%

gullywompr October 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

STATISTICS!! GO JOE!!

JustPixelz October 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Ryan says Scranton first! Can I drink?

Pat_Pending October 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Scranton kicks Janesville's ASS.

Boojum October 11, 2012 at 10:57 pm

Janesville is a girl's name. Not that there is anything wrong with that, Leslie!

Beowoof October 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

Wow some fight back from Biden. I love this guy.

AbandonHope_ October 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

I am about ready to stand, salute Biden, and start singing "America the Beautiful". Holy SHIT that was devastating.

Zango Crudmonger October 11, 2012 at 9:26 pm

I'm here, and slower than the year before.

sudsmckenzie October 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Joe mentions Reagan, Ryan mentions Scranton. Will dogs be sleeping with cats tonight?

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm

What a coincidence! My drink is 47% alcohol.

NellCote71 October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

And mine is 53%.

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Hell, any cask strength bourbon folks in the crowd? I'm mighty partial to Booker Noe. Of course, I'll drink whatever you have; I'm not a snob.

sayprettyplease October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

What day is this

Callyson October 12, 2012 at 4:03 am

My drink is from the productive glasses.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm

And Ravitz goes for the save of Ryan.

fuflans October 11, 2012 at 9:59 pm

radditz and i think she's not saving private ryan.

Boojum October 11, 2012 at 10:58 pm

Rabbits?

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm

This is the only time Ayn Rand Nazi will ever, ever say the word "poverty"

YerMa October 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm

#WrongAgainRyan is trending on the twitter machine

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Ryan's town is 10%.
My town is under 6% and has a tree hugging liberal governor.

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm

5-point plan? Whatever you say, Honorable Chairman.

OurHoboSenator October 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm

I never really understood the appeal of humiliation porn before tonight

NellCote71 October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

50 Shades of Biden.

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Car Elevator Guy! Here comes the Bullshit!

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Oh, please, America. I can't live with this twerp as the vice president.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Yeah, this guy makes Dan Quayle look like Churchill.

stew1 October 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm

Joe's about ready to punch the little munchkin.

tessiee October 11, 2012 at 11:15 pm

So am I.
for that voice alone.

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm

How come Ryan's bitching about how slow the recovery is going instead of standing up and taking a fuckin' bow for it? If he hadn't gutted the stimulus and opposed the jobs bills, we wouldn't be here. That's his own legislative activity he's complaining about.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Just pulling numbers out of his ass is all he's got. "Five point plan". We'll tell you how later.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Biden could barely suppress his giggle when Ryan said Romney is a "car guy"!

PugglesRule October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Paul, stop talking about Mitt being a car guy. You're giving OHJB an opening to alk about outsourcing!! LOL

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I would kill if just one fucking moderator would point out what every economist knows–unemployment is a lagging indicator, meaning that it is the last thing to bounce back. So it is not surprising that it is taking longer than anyone wants to recover…

(Don't even get me started on the government layoffs boosting the unemployment figures–I don't have enough alcohol to get me through that rant…)

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Don't worry, I am screaming at the tv about that (they don't seem to be hearing me)

Biff October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Don't talk to Joe about fucking car crashes, ryan!

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Oh, don't talk about car crashes, Paul…

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

I told you not to do it, Paul.

Wadisay October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Mitt Romney is a car guy.

Caddies. A couple of them.

Boojum October 11, 2012 at 11:00 pm

Car elevator guy, he means.

johnnyzhivago October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

SANTA MITT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

These guys think "small business" is someone with 250 employees and $5M in receipts. Meanwhile, they're literally giving away the store to the big boxes, shutting down the REAL small businesses.

zumpie October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Goober's trying to save with the Mittens is so nice, Joe looks highly entertained

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

this is not funny what the fuck is Ryan doing bringing up a car crash?

JohnnyQuick October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Uh, Paul Ryan, better hope you can make those marathon numbers for realz.

JustPixelz October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Ryan talking about a car crash. Can I say he's officially out of ideas?

Beowoof October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Aw Mitt gave money to other Mormons. He cares about a 100% of Mormons.

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Economies growin', Paul. Unemployment is going down. Please entertain me by trying to make that sound bad.
Ooooooh, Paul accidently mentioned Detroit and Mitt in the same sentence! He'll regret that!

Pat_Pending October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Mitty bought someone some stuff. Meh.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Let me tell you about the Romney I know. He has a dancing horse. How fucking hot is that? And a car elevator. Bitch is rich, that is all I'm saying.

johnnyzhivago October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

MITTENCLAUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BarryOPotter October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Mitts a car guy, Martha, doodes got ah fucking car elevator. Total car guy…

imissopus October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Sorry about these kids being paralyzed, BUT SO FUCKING WHAT? What was the question even?

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

But then Paul, your words come out of your ass.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

What the fuck is Ryan talking about!? "The Nixons"?!

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Romney's "charity" is his ticket to heaven.

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Kick him in the balls under the table for that one

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

This is embarrassing.

iburl October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Ryan's Eddie Munster 'do is in fine form tonight.

I pretty sure that pointy little twilight merkin on his forehead is blocking his third eye.

SnarkoMarx October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Mitler sent the Nixon children to college?

under_score October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I always say what I mean! And so does Romney, Winnah!!

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I dunno, Ryan, Romney did say he didn't care about that 47 percent of America…

Barbara_ October 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Mitt visits people's homes on Christmas? It's not like he's at home, worshiping Jesus.

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm

He retroactively visits them.

Boojum October 11, 2012 at 11:02 pm

After they're dead.

BarryOPotter October 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm

I always say what I mean, and so does Romney.

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 11:21 pm

Yeah, I heard him slip that in sotto voce. Nicely done, OHJB!

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm

47%!

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm

He SHOULD pay for someone's college. He could buy a college.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Called him young!

starfanglednut October 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Drink!

MegPasadena October 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Now the Romney as a human being story.

faster_kittycat October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Let it go bankrupt!

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Sorry, I don't consider donating to a church charity in the same way I consider donating to Doctors Without Borders charity.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Church charity doesn't count when you don't let anyone outside of your church inside your church. That's ticket to heaven money.

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Correct!

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Attempted One-Liner Hit by Ryan! Super-Parry by Biden! "I always say what I mean!"

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Mitt's a car guy! Like the Magliozzi brothers.

GregComlish October 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Guys I am stealing internet to watch the debate (proud 47%er), but living streaming CSPAN is slow as balls. Just please tell me: Are we winning?

Pres.Beeblebrox October 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm

ZINGERS! Zingers, I tell you.

PugglesRule October 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Ryan, don't bring up CAR CRASHES to OHJB, who lost his first wife and little daughter in an accident. WTF you lose, sucka.

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:29 pm

Oh, slaughter: right here, right now.

JustPixelz October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Biden talking about a car crash which is 47% more touching .

DemmeFatale October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

I love the way Joe laughs at junior and says:"oh, God!"
Look at Joe schooling the little shit!
That "zinger" about Scranton fell flat, son.

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Willard gave more to charity than both OHJB and the fraggle? Right, that charity would be his tithings to the Mormon Church. Asshole.

FlyOverGirl October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Hasa Diga eebowai

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Yeah!

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Yeah it's not like Mitt's little tirade about the 47% was a one-word slip-up — it was an drawn-out paragraph about how the people who don't pay federal income tax feel entitled to everything from the government and can't ever be persuaded to take responsibility for themselves. Literally.

SkinnyNerd October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Are we voting for the person with the biggest sob story? If this continues I am going to bed crying tonight.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Let's hope a fist fight breaks out.

zumpie October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

If that were the case OHJB would be permanent king of the USA. Not ONE of other three guys can even approach the VEEP in the awesomenest dad, back from the saddest ever.

Wadisay October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Mitt Romney will sit with me if I ever (((shudder))) have to eat tuna pasta casserole.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

If only Biden could force a tear while talking about his wife, the election would be over.

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

I think I saw one.

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 11:56 pm

I don't think the pain of losing a child or a family member ever really goes away. At least it didn't for my parents, who could weep almost as brokenly in their late 70s over the death of my sister as they did when it first happened.

orygoon October 12, 2012 at 12:06 am

For sure. My mom was and is shattered by my sister's death, and clearly always will be. And since Day One–actually, before–I could not/cannot bear the thought of losing one of my spawn. Nothing could be more crushing.

MittBorg October 12, 2012 at 12:35 am

It was strange to see them break down so completely sixty years after the event. They wept. I only ever saw them cry like that the day they found out she died.

redarmyzombie October 12, 2012 at 12:15 am

It doesn't. My Uncle committed suicide a couple years ago, and while we've gone on with our lives it never truly goes away. My Grandmother, bless her heart, was hit the hardest, and though she's put on a brave face she's only just starting to recover from it.

MittBorg October 12, 2012 at 12:43 am

Oh god I am so fucking sorry. That is hard. Your poor grandmother. Suicide seems like such a rejection, but it's not really, it's just … sometimes life is too painful to put up with any more.I send your grandmother many kind and loving thoughts to heal her pain maybe just a little.

redarmyzombie October 12, 2012 at 1:15 am

Thanks MittBorg. Unfortunately, my uncle was an alcoholic who'd been clean for many, many years but fell back into it sometime after his divorce. I don't know too much about what was going on, but I think his ex-wife was trying to use their son in order to hurt him; I say that, because she certainly tried to use him against us after my uncle passed.

My Grammie's a tough bird, and she's tried to put on a brave face, but she's had a hard time keeping things together since. Thankfully, she is strong, and she's started making a better effort to take care of herself lately.

cousinitt October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Romney once raised a car accident victim from the dead because he was so generous with his money. He makes Mother Theresa look like a piker.

glamourdammerung October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Romney once raised a car accident victim from the dead because he was so generous with his money. He makes Mother Theresa look like a piker.

Ryan "misspoke". He meant to say Bishop Romney baptized the dead car accident victim.

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Love that Ryan's flourish with the pen when Joe first started–it's like he took the entire attention of the viewer with that.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Romney looked down on the poors and said
“Let them have college!”

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Here's a one for you Joe, at least I don't make "gaffes" about "those people" scrounging for food, a roof and healthcare when I'm pimping for $50 Thou a plate with the audio on!

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Yes–go on about the private sector jobs and how the Reeps need to get out of the way!

Mr President, watch and learn…

mavenmaven October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

great segue, boom! into the auto industry from the personal stories.

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

"If they'd get outa the way…" that's what we're talkin' about.

Pat_Pending October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

"I meant what I said, whatever it was"

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

"show me something" nice. also, drink!

vodkamuppet October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Mitt gave some money to a family one time for a photo-op! ECONOMY SOLVED.

PugglesRule October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Stop talking about how you care about people and actually do it. Joe is the zinger machine!!

HRH_Maddie October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Joe Biden is eating Eddie Munster's lunch. Hot damn!

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:30 pm

Ooh, Biden is whacking Ryan's hand with a shoe over the auto industry, like Nicholson beating Matt Damon in "The Departed"!

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Joe is brilliant tonight.

cognachas4paws October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

I'm completely in love with Joe Biden right now.

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Oh ho ho, Biden's got his Moxy up tonight!

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Two wars, please. I'll use the Amex.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Show me a policy!

AbandonHope_ October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

This is an utter slaughter. I almost feel bad fo–HAHAHA no I can't even finish that sentence.

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

As Bill Mahr said, George Bush left a flaming pile of shit on the White House steps.

gullywompr October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Ryan should have stayed on the porch with the little dogs, he's getting creamed.

Just fucking creeeeeeeeeeemed……..

faster_kittycat October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

If I have to look at the zombie eyed granny starver for the next four years…. well…. I may just drink more or less than I do now.

imissopus October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

OMFG bringing up kids hurt in a car crash with JOE BIDEN? Ballsy.

under_score October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Exactly my thought. Some one wasn't thinking

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Stupid.

just_a_head October 11, 2012 at 11:18 pm

That was a seriously shitty example for him to use. Thoughtless douche.

WordSaladNation October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

THIS DEBATE ISN'T BORING ANYMORE.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

Joe is drinking Mr. Ryan's milkshake.

fuflans October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

joe is so drinking mr ryan's milkshake.

tessiee October 11, 2012 at 11:28 pm

What th–…?
Isn't that some kind of sex thing?

YerMa October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

lolz now #malarkey is trending.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Excellent.

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 11:54 pm
Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

No, fucker, we did not have the power to do everything at our choosing–you assholes set up a record number of filibusters, for one thing…

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:31 pm

"let's not forget that this party came in with one-party control."

That's your retort against that verbal onslaught, Paul Ryan? Your rhetoric is as sickly as your complexion.

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

OHJB is Barry O's ass- ripping proxy tonight.

OurHoboSenator October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Mmm….green pork

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Oh, shut up you welfare leeching granny killer.

iburl October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

According to Maddow, Martha Raddis is not supposed to call Paulie "Congressman" in the contract agreement.

She's totally Raddisical

AbandonHope_ October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Yeah, they WOULD have had two-party control, if the Republicunts hadn't been filibustering every single fucking thing.

mayor_quimby October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Awwww, SSSSS, AWWWWW, ssssss, Ooooohhh /family guy
on the car accident story. Jesus H Christ,

tessiee October 11, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Fucking awesome.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

"Don't eat the green pork!"

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Oh shit! LETTERS!

This is OVER.

SheriffRoscoe October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

This things getting bloody, and it's still early.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Green pork?

SHUT UP FUCKER, the moderator said it's Biden's turn!

JustPixelz October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

It's the ham that goes with green eggs.

Citizen Kitteh October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

"Green pork" ? That's an ill image!

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Stimulus whore Any Rand!

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Oh, Joe, please put that "Dems had 2 years of one party control" lie to rest.

imissopus October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Love how Joe keeps calling him "my friend."

BarryOPotter October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Intertubes! How do they work?

vodkamuppet October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

WHAT IS YOUR PLAN DOUCHEBAG?

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Pork!

MegPasadena October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

The one party control and forget about the filibuster.

Mumbletypeg October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Sorry if someone already said it — but this capable, by turns calm-or-passionate artistry from Biden is just what I was looking for the other night from our President.

Pres.Beeblebrox October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Old Handsome Joe is in his element. His veneers are extra shiny tonite.

gullywompr October 11, 2012 at 9:32 pm

Oh this is fucking embarrassing…..

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Lyin' Ryan cashed his stimulus check!

coolhandnuke October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Green Pork…that's hard to swallow

BarryOPotter October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Let Joe be Joe!

Beowoof October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Calling out Ryan asking for stimulus money. And Ryan is hating it.

Close_Read October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Joe Biden Saves America. I love this guy. I hope Barry gives him a raise.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

"Do you know how many times this fuckin' kid has written me asking for money? Get off my tit, Kid!"

Boojum October 11, 2012 at 11:07 pm

This!

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Advocated for citizens for grants?

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

"Can you send me some stimulus money…" is there any blood left? Awesome!! Gutted like a deer.

SheriffRoscoe October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Fuckkkkkkkkkk

fuflans October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

PWNED!

i think i'm done for the night.

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Damn — can we get Joe to debate Romney next week?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

there are not words for how much I love Joe Biden right now

under_score October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Oh throwing that stimulus hypocrisy right in his face I LOVE IT

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Oh, Biden! Oh, Biden, your voice is giving me an orgasm!

Pat_Pending October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

"be a little more candid" LOVE YOU JOE!!!

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

When will you get unemployment below 6%

That is the entire point of our program. When? We don't know. But it will get taxes on the rich under 6%, and what else is important?

stew1 October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Joe took his Adderall tonight.

Blueb4sinrise October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

ohgodohgodohgodohgod
ohgodohgodohgodohgod
ohgodohgodohgodohgod

ahhhhhhhhhhh.

brb.

sudsmckenzie October 11, 2012 at 9:33 pm

Do I have rose colored glasses on , or is Joe just killing this?

JohnnyQuick October 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

The Delaware Destroyer

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

he's killing this like I'm killing this bottle of New Belgium Trippel

BarryOPotter October 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Nope, yer specs are crystal-fucking-clear!

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 9:42 pm

My orgasm agrees with you 100%

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

We would not have to borrow money from China if we did not subsidize the oil industry and unneeded tax cuts for the rich, asshole…

OurHoboSenator October 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Don't know how this is playing with the low-information voters out there…oh, who am I kidding? They're watching Honey Boo Boo right now.

But I am loving the hell out of this.

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Zing!

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

"A better job than investment bankers did". Ouch, ouch, ouch.

Wadisay October 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Should we borrow money from China to fund tax cuts for zillionaires?

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Smack!

putchaonblast October 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

This twerp is getting creamed.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

He's tweaking him, still.

Be still my beating heart.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

"any letter you send me I'll entertain." wow.

Biff October 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Entitlements! Drink!

TNlibtard October 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Old handsome Joe is fucking poor Gomer up.

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Douchey little weasel is pretty good at pivoting. CRUSH HIM!!

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Oh fuck, Medicare–can't wait to hear the $716B lie again…

MegPasadena October 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Joe is now chewing Blue-eye baby up about the stimulus.

Barbara_ October 11, 2012 at 9:34 pm

Lol, Lizzie just Tweeted:
Green Pork Chow Mein

Paul Ryan is a Werewolf of London.

FeloniousMonk October 11, 2012 at 9:46 pm

You think that's perfect hair? And I don't think I'd like to know his tailor. I'll grant you that he's Lee Ho Fuk'd.

just_a_head October 11, 2012 at 11:22 pm

Aa-ooooooooo

tessiee October 11, 2012 at 11:34 pm

He comes howlin' around MY kitchen door, he is in for one big fat fucking surprise.

FeloniousMonk October 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Slaughter. There's another hour to go. By the end I expect to see Ryan reduced to a bloody, pitiful mess on the floor. By words.

NellCote71 October 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

And I am going to be drunk as a skunk. We have already gulped at Scranton, several car crashes, 47%, Reagan. . . What's left?

JustPixelz October 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

It's Repubian faith-based economics.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Here we go "we got benefits, that saved us, but if YOU get benefits, that's socialism."

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Social Security and Medicare was great for my family. Screw you guys! I'm going home!

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

I have to say that Ryan is well-versed on all the cheap cliches the tea party loves so much.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

If you reform these programs for my generation…

…you can kill Medicare slowly and sneakily,

Asshole.

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Paul, you can't get away with this vague bullshit about how you're preserving Medicare. Joe's gonna nail you to the wall — you should've realized that by now, you callow little man.

snowpointsecret October 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Someone told me there should be a buzzer that would go off every time Ryan lies.

Wouldn't that be an endless noise, sounding not unlike a vuvuzela?

tessiee October 11, 2012 at 11:35 pm

Better yet, a taser.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

He's going to be calling Joe daddy by the end of this slaughter.

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Yes Ryan, let's look at Obamacare, which is modeled word for word exactly like Romneycare.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

How could we have forgotten about the $716 billion drinks?

BoroPrimorac October 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Joe is gonna cut this motherfucker, watch.

Bramlet Abercrombie October 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Can Ryan even make it to the end of this?

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

His ego is so big, he thinks he's doing OK.

Bramlet Abercrombie October 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Uf, you're right.

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:35 pm

Give your Mom a voucher you hypocrite. Just like Annie Romney slummin with Multiple Sclerosis and Breast Cancer. She uses millions of out of pocket money for above for pain control and Alternative Medicine etc…. Charity begins at home Nazis!

MittBorg October 12, 2012 at 12:02 am

The medication that Ann uses to control her MS costs approximately $36,000 a year.

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Special points to the first one who takes his note, turns it into a cool origamie and gives it to his opponent.

doloras October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

It's a pity Romney/Ryan won't live. But then… who does?

gullywompr October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Death Panels!! Drink!

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

OK, Paul. If Social Security is so great, why isn't it good enough to live? Go get him, Joe.

lulzmonger October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

"Ryan asked us for some of that sweet sweet Porkulus ca$h too,"

Looks like someone should've done more brain-curls.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Of course, SS could be solvent forever if they would just raise the income cap.

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Now the $716 billion — thank you for lining this up for Uncle Joe, Lil Paulie.

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Including my God Damned Gall Bladder!

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I'd yell DRINK! … but not you, darlin'. Me either for that matter.

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Actually the drinking's OK with the gall bladder. Just not the spicy food. I do have a liver test done twice a year as I'm a Hep C survivor (experiments with needles whilst in college) so I have the tests done.
As long as the doc says I'm good I'm fine!

tessiee October 11, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Try drinking a big (at least 16 oz) glass of water. That sometimes helps. Of course, eventually I got fed up with the blinding pain and just had the damn thing removed. Don't miss it.

HRH_Maddie October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

This is porn for Democrats.

So Tired October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Gawd, yes. Finally.

gullywompr October 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

It's some fucking amputee midget porn up in this bitch.

HRH_Maddie October 11, 2012 at 9:40 pm

You know my type!

AbandonHope_ October 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

I am going to need a cigarette after this and I don't smoke.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Sarah Palin! Drink! Absolutely fucking brilliant to juxtapose the two.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Sarah Palin!

Pres.Beeblebrox October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Death Panels!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Palin! Drink!

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

But let's not talk about previous GOP idiot veep candiates.

caitifty October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

.. and you sir, are no Sarah Palin

mavenmaven October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

ftw

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Ooh, nice dig about Sarah Palin and death panels!

Bramlet Abercrombie October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

omg he compared Ryan to Snowbilly Grifter! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

And make up your mind–do you want to do something about rising Medicare costs or do you want to keep spending what we've been spending? Because you cannot simultaneously complain about growing budgets and reductions in spending…

(yeah yeah I know, IOKIYAR…)

nirrti_rachelle October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

He'll reform Social Security all right….

If it no longer exists, that's one big reform right there.

mavenmaven October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Yay, Sarah Palin!!!!! When will we get a Bush reference?

MegPasadena October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

My god, the 716M$ and the board again.

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

We've all had tragedies in our lives. I got poor service at the restaurant last night!

NellCote71 October 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

I had to miss Pilates so I could watch the debate live. I know tragedy.

emmelemm October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

My horsey didn't win the gold medal at the Olympics…

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

What the hell? Ryan is talking 100MPH and it's gibberish.

gullywompr October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Ryan = Palin! Drink!

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

AARP is with us

So suck it, Ryan!

Thurman Munster IV October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Painted the little weasel with the Palin brush. Snap

MittBorg October 11, 2012 at 11:58 pm

Good catch, Thurm.

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

ASK US ABOUT OUR FREE HOVERROUND!!!

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Don't forget the jetpacks.

SheriffRoscoe October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

You watchin', Barry? See? Like THIS.

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Honestly.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Gulp of water, scared look in eyes…second time tonight for Ryan…

AlterNewt October 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Nice catch.

Citizen Kitteh October 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Biden knows where the camera is – turned straight to it and talked to the people.

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Or your lyin' eyes?

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Any senior: which of these two do you want handling Medicare and Social Security. "Who do you believe?"

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Art Linkletter would have to endore Biden.

Bramlet Abercrombie October 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

LOOKED STRAIGHT INTO THE CAMERA "Folks, follow your instincts." +infinity x a million

coolhandnuke October 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Did Ryan's sippy cup say Eddie on it?

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Folks, follow your instincts

Charges from the Reeps that this equals fear mongering in 3…2…1…

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Holy shit — if Joe keeps this up he's gonna make Paul go outside and cut his own willow switch.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Excuse me, Mr. Ryan? VP Biden says your pants are on fire.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

"Their ideas are bad" and they should feel bad.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

"their ideas are old" yep. and they dont fucking work.

Beowoof October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Bad old idea love you Joe

Arla October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I think this is the first political debate I've watched where I have said "Oh shit, son, you just got spanked" involuntarily, out loud, more than once.

SkinnyNerd October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I am so loving Joe's dismissive laughs.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

It couldn't be clearer. Joe is telling the truth, and Ryan is using talking points.

mavenmaven October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

There's my Bush reference!!!! Yay Joe!!!

mayor_quimby October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Why didn't anybody search Biden for switchblades? And don't forget the razor hidden in his cheek!

miss_grundy October 11, 2012 at 9:42 pm

And the light saber that is his tongue!

Callyson October 12, 2012 at 4:26 am

He's using his big…you know, the big thing Jill was talking about…

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Shit, I'd like to have teeth like Joe!

VinnyThePooh October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Does that Piggy Bank come with lipstick?

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Ooh! "I heard about death panels from Sarah Palin."

Larry McCarren calls that "The Dagger".

Pres.Beeblebrox October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Duress HUR DUR DUR HUR

cheetojeebus October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

patronizing little shit

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

A lot of duress? I got your duress right here.

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

What Joe is doing is "the iron fist in a velvet glove"

Boojum October 11, 2012 at 11:15 pm

And occasionally the iron fist in the cock punch, sans glove.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

playhouseofthebluelights says "Joe is such a badass"

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Oh bitch please–you're in no position to tell Joey that he is under stress, when he is whooping your ass…

fuflans October 11, 2012 at 9:42 pm

SO whooping his ass.

memorizing lines doesn't help if you have to, you know, think.

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Joe is on first name terms with Ms. Radditz?

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:40 pm

He'll be on a first-name basis with ALL women before this is over.

Lucidamente1 October 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Joe first-names *all* the ladies.

RaflcaFlkaFlame October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Ladies Love Cool Joe.

tessiee October 11, 2012 at 11:41 pm

Or LL Cool J, for short?

NellCote71 October 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

He can call me anything he wants. Just call, Joe. Please.

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Give Eddie Munster some more duress puleaze!

Barbara_ October 11, 2012 at 9:40 pm

"what is your plan for seniors who can't make up the difference…."
Ryan: "fuck 'em."

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 9:40 pm

'Kay, a little cheezy, but I feel this song here describes Mr. Ryan here perfectly:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVU0Y3HyvG8

Close_Read October 11, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Taxi for Eddie, please.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Okay, Joe. Reel it back a bit.

VinnyThePooh October 11, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Battleship Biden is shelling the shit outta Ryan Beach.

NellCote71 October 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Operation OverLittleLordFlauntenroy.

Citizen Kitteh October 11, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Creative interrupting.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:40 pm

DAMMIT, moderator, give Joey equal time!

(Fuck, she's worse than David Gregory in the Mass Senate debate…)

ChillBill October 11, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Goddam! Can we get Joe to debate Mitt instead?

SkinnyNerd October 11, 2012 at 9:46 pm

I would so love to see that

MegPasadena October 11, 2012 at 9:40 pm

Lying Ryan is lying hard and Joe won't let him get away with it.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Call him a liar Joe. Do it!

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Ooh! "I heard about death panels from Sarah Palin."

Larry McCarren calls that "The Dagger".

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:42 pm

And THERE is your dagger!

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Bra-fucking-vo!! Loud, slow, clapping, baby.

NellCote71 October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

No polite golf clap from this corner.

sudsmckenzie October 11, 2012 at 11:02 pm

mmmm Larry McCarren reference … grrrllll

Wadisay October 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Is it just my imagination, or is Martha giving Ryan time of possession advantage?

snowpointsecret October 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

She might just feel bad for how he's getting destroyed tonight. It's not like he's moving the ball.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

They need the moderator from the Warren-Brown debate. "Congressman, I owe you 1.726 seconds startinnnnnnnggggggg NOW"

commiegirl99 October 12, 2012 at 2:12 am

That guy and his atomic clock. Even when he was atomic clocking against Brown it was still fucking anal and lame.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:42 pm

If she is, Joe ain't allowing it.

Callyson October 12, 2012 at 4:29 am

Not just your opinion–I was bitching about that all night. Thank God Joey fought back.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Bargain for drug costs

That's what all my friends whose drug of choice is not in liquid form recommend…

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

It works because it's working right now. Yep-huh…

nirrti_rachelle October 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Accuses Biden of rudely interrupting. Biden's response, "Well don't take all the four minutes then!"

Classic, just classic….

RaflcaFlkaFlame October 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Joe's laugh is adding years on to my life.

Bramlet Abercrombie October 11, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Word!

Callyson October 12, 2012 at 4:30 am

And life to my years.

coolhandnuke October 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Wyden/Bennett 11th hour band- aid…look what happened to Bennett in Utah–gone

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Scott Brown last night was talking about putting kids to work! Now Ryan is talking about raising the age of retirement Rethug Dickensoian talking points!

VinnyThePooh October 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Joe in the Oval Office tomorrow: "That's how you handle those fucks, Boss."

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:41 pm

Can someone please explain to me why I get signed out when I refresh? Current Firefox. Turned off ghostery. WTF???

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:43 pm

I don't know, I'm having trouble too. I just keep changing pages at the bottom then going to the new one.

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Yup. Doing that, too. Damn. Cheers, Pats.

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Happened to me on another blog. Never did figure it out.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Privatization!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:42 pm

oh Joe is using stale ideas?

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Who wouldn't buy food if they were starving or heating bills in the winter? Goddam Nazis!

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:42 pm

I knew it would not take long for Ryan to pull the "fear mongering" charge. Fucker.

snowpointsecret October 11, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Biden coming out with his "What you talkin' about, Willis?" look.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:42 pm

Martha just dinged him. Bush. Drink!

VinnyThePooh October 11, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Tears on Ryan's pillow tonight.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:43 pm

"What I have always said is 'fuck younger Americans.' This will incentivize them to work until they drop dead."

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Twitter visit:

2m Charles P. Pierce ‏@ESQPolitics
Oh, little boy, stop being so pissy. #VPdebate

Limeylizzie October 11, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Oh Joe how I love you!!!! OT Is Derrick Wildcat around I have a bird question.

gullywompr October 11, 2012 at 9:43 pm

Bill Maher
Hello 9-1-1? There s an old man beating a child on my tv.

MittBorg October 12, 2012 at 12:09 am

Did Bill rly say that?

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Yes, Virginia, there is a Biden Klaus.

Scranton Joey will cut a bitch, you better believe it.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Who do you trust on this?

Oh yeah, play to our strengths, Joey!

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

WHO DO YOU TRUST?!

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

"I mean, look at this punk! He's too young to care about anyone but his buddies!"

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

"Who do you trust on this?" You, Joe. You.

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Hey Paul — when Dubya wanted to privatize SS, he didn't have a way to make up the difference in cost then, either — since we all pay for the current recipients, giving each of us our own SS account will take money away from the people getting their benefits now. Dubya's plan didn't pay for that gap, and Ryan championed it.

Limeylizzie October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Joe won on Medicare round.

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Someone brought his A game. Someone didn't. Seniors know the difference.

tessiee October 11, 2012 at 11:50 pm

So does everyone else.

SheriffRoscoe October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Paul Ryan is hangin his head. The hell?

Monsieur_Grumpe October 11, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Is he dead?

Callyson October 12, 2012 at 4:32 am

Yes,

JustPixelz October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Politicians scare people. How did he know I was thinking about Dubya?

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

"Guilty…"
(liar, liar!)

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Scranton drink!

FakaktaSouth October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Let younger Americans make their money grow faster, you know, like it did in 2007, when everything crashed. Come ooooon. It's not like Social Security was formed to SAVE people from a THING THAT HAD ALREADY HAPPENED like the great depression or anything. The Market! That's what we need. It'll never hurt you again baby. He swears.

coolhandnuke October 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Thank you Martha move it on

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

She learned from Grandad Leher, didn't she?

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Go JOE!

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Paul: Scaredy scare scare!
Martha: Oh, shut up and talk about something real.
Joe: Here! Have some reality.

mavenmaven October 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Biden for President!!!! He is kicking Ryan in Ryan's strongest area.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Well, I've voted for him for president twice now (in primaries).

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Spanks him again. And again!

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

"Spank Me Like You Spanked Paul, Handsome" T-shirts to all $20+ donors

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Raddatz is falling under OHJB's spell- "Martha…Martha…Martha…" and she responds like Pavlov's dogs. Woof!

LePiston October 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

My grandma called me two days ago to say she now pays $70 per month for her prescriptions. She paid upwards of $400 before Obama took office. If Paul Ryan could go fuck himself, it would be superb.

miss_grundy October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Did you ask Grandma who she is voting for????? I hope as an olds she votes for Bamz and Biden.

LePiston October 11, 2012 at 9:51 pm

She called ME to ask who I was voting for! She loves Bamz, as do I. I love my grandma more, though.

Callyson October 12, 2012 at 4:35 am

God bless your grandma and I hope she lives in a swing state. Please let it be Ohio or Florida…

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

"I gave you a simple answer. He's gonna raise the cost on Medicare" squee!

Close_Read October 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Joe is smokin! I really need to go out and walk my dog but I can't pull myself away from this.

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

You may want to discuss that with your dog.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Come on Biden, talk about how Mittens would have to *raise* taxes on the middle class or raise the deficit to make his tax plan work…

Wadisay October 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

Haha, Matha puts a tax question in Joe's wheelhouse.

SheriffRoscoe October 11, 2012 at 9:45 pm

BIDEN 2016

RaflcaFlkaFlame October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Yes.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:46 pm

You know, I'll betcha Obama's Grandpa was a bit like Joe. That's my theory of why they get on.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Ryan sure is guzzling the water…or is that Kool Aid?

LakeLucilleLoon October 11, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Aren't those the steroids that make him so muscular and HOT????

WordSaladNation October 11, 2012 at 9:46 pm

$800 MILLION BILLION DOLLARS. That is a lot of dollars.

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

How much do we luv Joe! 800 gazillion mabillion dollars!

tessiee October 11, 2012 at 11:52 pm

Technically, when you say "$800 MILLION BILLION DOLLARS", you should be pointing to the corner of your mouth with your pinky.

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Guys,

If Biden keeps this up, I'm gonna have to see a doctor by the end of the debate…

Boojum October 11, 2012 at 11:21 pm

It didn't take four hours. It'll subside.

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Cloture!

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Clobber that smiling jackass

iburl October 11, 2012 at 9:46 pm

Biden is sharper than I am and he's 12 times as old.

PugglesRule October 11, 2012 at 9:46 pm

GAH!!! I have to leave to pick my teenager up on other side of town! Why did I promise to do that at 9 pm?? Wonketeers, my heart is broken as I won't see Joe as he finishes gnawing on Lyin' Ryan's ass. I expect really exceptional summaries.

snowpointsecret October 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Ryan proving that P90X doesn't work to exercise debating skills.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Anyone else having multiple Joe-gasms? I need a cigarette.

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Oh, baby, I'm trying to uncurl my toes and fingers enough to type right now.

RaflcaFlkaFlame October 11, 2012 at 9:55 pm

I've had to douse myself with water twice already.

Wadisay October 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Joe is pounding the table with his Trans Am key chain.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

How many times do you think Ed Schultz has had to change his pants already?!

miss_grundy October 11, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Not enough…….

mayor_quimby October 11, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Skeet SkeetSkeet Skeet Skeet!!.
In the words of the great Lil Jon

AlterNewt October 11, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Oh…man…oh…Thanks a LOT, Chet..

The picture came.

Lucidamente1 October 11, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Does he wear pants?

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:54 pm

All of them, Katie.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

YES! Biden brought up that Mittens will raise taxes on the middle class!

Mr President, please channel Joey during the next two debates, the rest of the campaign, and your second term…

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

If Paul Ryan says "small business" in his satement, drink. If he doesn't, drink the whole damn bottle.

cromiller October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

do we drink every time he says "small business"?

Not_Mother October 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Gummint TAKING. Drink!.

gullywompr October 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

This is a fucking snuff film.

tessiee October 11, 2012 at 11:53 pm

Good.

fuflans October 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

THERE WILL BE BLOOD

there is blood. and it's from wisconsin.

SayItWithWookies October 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Well — the bottle's safe.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Joe is straight-up smoking his ass. Not even a question.

This thing isn't over, at all, you guys. Take heart.

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Is this going to be over on the hour, or they going to make the punk suffer for 90 minutes?

coolhandnuke October 11, 2012 at 9:47 pm

Our entire premise…heard that three times already

Wadisay October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Make the rich give plasma.

fatbob54 October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Handsome Joe keeps calling douchenozzle his "friend" I don't Joe knows what that word means.

miss_grundy October 11, 2012 at 9:51 pm

It means "asshole" in the Senate.

AlterNewt October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

"Isn't that wonderful, Eddie?"

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Oh, the deal is the Rich People HAVE ALL THE MONEY! THAT'S WHY TO TAX THEM!!

Sorry.

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

There aren't enough rich people to tax? Well, let's get started and see!

sudsmckenzie October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

I think Joe has talked Andrew Sullivan off the ledge.

WordSaladNation October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

He hasn't posted in 10 minutes. Do you think he's fapping in his new NYC apartment?

Spurning Beer October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

This guy should bed selling the Sham-Wow at home shows.

Beowoof October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Tax reforms will save everything.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Passion of The Biden.

VinnyThePooh October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Job Creators? Are you really going to go there, Ryan?

ibwilliamsi October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

He meant to say "Job Cremators".

coolhandnuke October 11, 2012 at 9:48 pm

Lake Superior is overseas?

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:52 pm

That was a joke that sunk right in the lake.

snowpointsecret October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

53% of small businesses would get taxed higher? Does that make the rest the 47%, Ryan?

bibliotequetress October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Did Junior just make an "overseas" joke? Not a good idea when you have no foreign policy experience.

tessiee October 11, 2012 at 11:54 pm

OR when your boss sends jobs overseas and hides his money overseas.

Pres.Beeblebrox October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Taxes. I can't fap to this.

nirrti_rachelle October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I can't tell whether I envy that moderator or pity her.

Jukesgrrl October 11, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Her name recognition just went up 100% … she'll live.

freakishlywrong October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Jesus on a saltine, I love me some Handsome Joe,

Veritas78 October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Now he's lying about the top rate. He's determined about the lying. A salesman like his boss, but sweatier.

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

The Canadians dropped their taxes to 15%

Yeah, well, they didn't make the same level of military commitments that we made under W…and unlike W, we *include* the costs of those disasters in the budget…

Asshole.

chascates October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Oh, those same 'six studies' (online opinion plugs).

Biff October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

God damn it, National Weather Service just broke in, informing me I'm gonna die because of flash flooding.

What is ryan babbling about that Joe Cool is laughing out loud about, now?

Crank_Tango October 11, 2012 at 9:52 pm

No one ever died in their apartment from flash flooding.*

*Notintendedtobeafactualstatment.com

LePiston October 11, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Pls put on your waterwings.

NellCote71 October 11, 2012 at 9:55 pm

Climate Changeling.

Dr. Nick Riviera October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I think this "think of the rich, guys!" argument is going to work!

Callyson October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Finally, one moderator is going after these assholes on their failure to provide specifics!

Ryan is trying so hard to weasel out of this one, and is failing miserably…

BoroPrimorac October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Fucking Joe.

Serfville October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

Mmm yes, pray tell us about your super duper secret plan?

Anne_Athema October 11, 2012 at 9:49 pm

You utter fucking asshole. " where I come from, overseas- that's Lake Superior". I got one thing to say to you, fuckwad, "YOU LIE".

Dickwad. Don't try to play that route. Fucking Fail.

redarmyzombie October 11, 2012 at 9:50 pm

You know,

The Moderator seems to be showing remarkable restraint, considering.

savethispatient October 11, 2012 at 9:50 pm

8 out of 10 small businesses pay tax as personal income??? Really? These people need an accountant and some tax advice. Or, perhaps most of them earn so little for their ebay sales etc that it's cheaper to be taxed as an individual.

miss_grundy October 11, 2012 at 9:56 pm

If you are a sole proprietor of your business, you pay personal taxes on it. Really, it's true. The small-time mom-and-pop kind of businesses that used to exist in America before Walmart ate up Main Street.

iburl October 11, 2012 at 9:50 pm

New Rule: If Biden calls him "Eddie" by "mistake", I'm drinking a bottle of Drambuie.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 9:50 pm

What? A moderator asking real questions?! She's a witch!?

Close_Read October 11, 2012 at 9:57 pm

If she weighed the same as a duck… she's made of wood…

Boojum October 11, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Build a bridge out of her!

MegPasadena October 11, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Obama's tax increase won't pay for the spending, but I will cut taxes for everyone and problem is solved.

Chet Kincaid_ October 11, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Martha, digging in on the Phantom Romney Tax Plan! Nice journalismising!