there will be blood

Vice-Presidential Debate Live-Bloog: Paul ‘The Kid’ Ryan Takes On Old Handsome Joe

ScreechWhat’s this, Sara Benincasa is joining us tonight, in our domicile? Does she have hair to braid? We will soon find out!

In the meantime, here is the first and last nice thing we will most likely say about Paul Ryan tonight: Paul Ryan sends copies of NOBUMMER’s birth certificate to any constituent who writes him all “WHAR KENYA WHAR,” and even before Obummer released his long-form certificate, Ryan’s office sent to those same “folks” a copy of the Hawaiian registrar’s statement about the Communist usurper’s live birth. And we think that is terrific, for reals! (GENTLEMANLY.) (We mean us.) (We’re done now though.) (Don’t worry.) (WARBLOG!!!!!)

Also too, before we start, here’s your damn drinking game:

If you are in California, Washington, DC, New York, or any of the other civilized states, smoke some legal marijuana before the debate commences.

As to the rest of you, we will occasionally yell at you DRINK for any or no reason at all. (But seriously, if Joey calls “Mr.” Ryan “junior” or “sonny” or “kiddo” or “boy,” you may do the Hokey Pokey and finish the bottle in feral joy.) And that’s it! We can’t say to drink if OHJB says “God love ya” or talks about Scranton or the Violence Against Women Act, or cries when telling the story of his family, or says “literally” about something figurative, or is magnificently romantic to Dr. Jill, because we will not be liable for your alcohol poisoning. So, you know, just use your worst judgment, and we’ll see you at nine.

5:59 PM 8:59 PM stupid Eastern Standard Time — Benincasa is in the house! And also she is out of the house! We have sent her to Fresh & Easy for liquor, because we have drunk this house dry. Maybe she will come back again? Who can ever tell???

9:01 PM — Was Libya an intelligence failure? Old Handsome Joe does not care to answer that question, but promises not to lie and pivots to Bamz ending Iraq and Afghanistan and Miffed Romney being a fussbudgety asshole about both. Has he mentioned Barry killed Bin Laden? Still, not answering the question though he is(n’t), he sounds sober and Joe-like and great.

Paul Ryan’s all nah mang they already lied about the Youtube and is mad that we didn’t have enough security. Didn’t he watch Jason Chaffetz’s interview? Uh oh, Joe is gonna bite someone’s head off, fangs bared.

9:09 PM — Oooh, looks like Joe watched Jason Chaffetz’s interview! Also? Romney’s a pud. Let him give you a list. (Joe is pissed, y’all. Said every single thing that came out of the kid’s mouth was “untrue.” He is smiling, he’s showing his choppers, but he does not mean it.) Joe’s assertion that they didn’t “know” that the embassy wanted more security does not seem … likely.

9:11 PM — Of course Paul Ryan thinks we shouldn’t pee on Taliban corpses, oh gosh yes. What is he, a lunatic? No, he is a libertarian. There is some shade of difference. (Sometimes.)

9:16 PM — Biden: “You wanna go to war? That what you want?” He is pure contempt for this whippersnapper daring to lecture him on being a joke when it comes to Iran. We are afeared of what might burst forth from his grinning skull!

9:19 PM — Biden is schooling the kid on how nukes work. It might be a while. Blah blah blah Netanyahu. Would you like to see the rainbow outside our window right now?

9:22 PM — Joe with the words of wisdom on Iran: LET’S ALL CALM DOWN HERE! Yes, let’s!

9:24 PM — Joe is now literally kissing his knuckles as Paul Ryan talks. OH KNUCKLES, he is saying, to his knuckles, SOMEDAY, KNUCKLES. SOME DAY.

9:28 PM — OK now we are on the economy we are sure Paul Ryan will not say anything that will make Joe Biden ache to punch him in his earnest puppy face?

9:32 PM — HAHAHA, why are we always SO WRONG?

9:41 PM — We are behind again, because we had to let in Sara with the wine, and then we had to go to the neighbors’ for a corkscrew. And then chicken. But SARA IS BACK, and she points out the audience is bizarrely, tensely quiet. They are probably as scared as we are. We do not like seeing Joe Biden want to murder people.

9:43 PM — Fuck it, we know we told you we wouldn’t make you drink when Joe Biden weeps for his family. But drink. (We all could use one, right?)

9:44 PM — Old Handsome Joe Biden tells Paul Ryan if he wants jobs, to get out of his and Bamz’s way. Paul Ryan responds with blah blah blah One Party Control, like Ben Nelson and Mary Landrieu were Democrats.

9:46 PM — Joe Biden can’t show you Paul Ryan’s letters begging for nasty old stimulus funds, but we can!

9:50 PM — Joe compares Paul Ryan to Sarah Palin. You betcha! (Also, drink, too.)

9:51 PM — Joe: Who do you believe, me or this snotnosed punk?

9:54 PM — Paul Ryan bullshitting about Medicare has LIT’RALLY given Joe Biden a stroke. He is gazing at the ceiling, his eyes rolling back in his head. He may start foaming. He’s furious.

9:58 PM — Have we ever told you that our son, who is now an 18-year-old dickhead, originally came to us when he was a year old, and his first mama had died? We were 22, and making $22,000 per year. The only thing that made it possible was Social Security. Listening to Paul Ryan piously spout off about how he loves Social Security Survivors Benefits while trying to dismantle the system, is making us kiss our own knuckles. Oooh, that puss. Ooh, that earnest, lying puss. Some day, knuckles. Some day.

10:01 PM — So far Joe Biden wins, for not decking that little creep in the mouth with Joe Jameson and Pops McGee.

10:06 PM — OH NOW YOU’RE JACK KENNEDY. OH SHIT OH SHIT. There is much yelling in our loft right now, like so: OH SHIT! DAAAAMN Joe Biden!! FUCK YEH.

10:08 PM — Joe Biden makes a DRAMATIC face of ORLY? like a combination of Auntie Mame and a young black woman giving you side eye. It is fairly (by which we mean completely) awesome and hilarious.

10:15 PM — Sara Benincasa is taking the reins for a while while we relax and chill the fuck out. Enjoy her!

10:17 PM — It is I, your Sara Benincasa, you fucking fucks. You stupid libruls probably think Joey Biden is wiping the floor with the handsome young man from Handsometown. Hahah, I am here to prove you wrong! (J/K, Biden is killing it.)

10:18 PM — What is all this argument about “the serge”? It is merely a fine fabric with diagonal thingies on both sides! HA! PUNZ!11!!

10:20 PM — Biden got mad at Mary Martha Maylene Magoo again!

10:20 PM — Biden just made a classic “AROO?! WHAAAAAH?!” face worthy of a Scooby Doo episode.

10:21 PM — Everybody throw your hands in the air and yell, “AFGHANS DO THE JAAAAHB! AFGHANS DO THE JAAAAHB!”

10:23 PM — Ryan majored in Smug Smirk at Face University.

10:24 PM — Your Wonkette, Rebecca, says Joe Biden is trying really hard not to reveal classified info right now, which is why he is stuttering. Probably completely accurate!

10:25 PM — Myself (the Benincasa) and your Wonkette (the Rebecca) would like to note that our vaginas feel alone and untended by these gentlemen. GIVE US OUR PRECIOUS SOCIAL ISSUES!!!111!

10:26 PM — Assad is watching at home, going, “Oh, that is so not what I would do. I would give out hugs! I just wants to give the hugs!”

10:27 PM — Someone in the audience just audibly went, “Ooh!” Or maybe it was “Whoo!” like some sort of owlish impression.

10:28 PM — Rebecca just pointed out Ryan’s Sincerity Forehead. She also points out how hard the nuns all hate Paul Ryan. “They hate him as hard as Joe Biden hates him,” she sez. HAHAHAH I AM LOL!!!111!!

10:29 PM — AHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH “BEAN” AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!111!!! Paul Ryan wins all debates forever, the end.

10:31 PM — BTW Rebecca’s ex-boyfriend calls Ryan “creepy human frog.” This is a very accurate assessment of his fucking face.

10:32 PM — Joey BiBi needs to chill with the “my friend” thing. None of us are buying it.

10:33 PM — Martha can’t stop talking about abortions. She’s been saving up for this all night long (all night! all night! all night long! all night!)

10:34 PM — Rebecca points out that JUDGES ARE SUPPOSED TO MAKE DECISIONS THAT IS THE POINT OF JUDGES PAUL RYAN.

10:36 PM — Oh yeah, sure, Ryan’s kids are gonna serve one day. Totally.

10:40 PM — Moar beans pleez.

10:41 PM — I, Benincasa, want to put Paul Ryan inside the vagina he so hates. This is a winedrunk way to say I would let him put it on me. Plus it would be extra fun to ‘bort his baby.

10:42 PM — Blah blah blah. “What could you bring as a man?” MY FAT IRISH DICK, sez the Joe Biden in my head.

10:43 PM — Joe Biden is so chill now. Did somebody slip him a sweet sweet doob that he puffed through some hidden orifice?!

10:45 PM — I want to put Joe Biden saying “Honey, it’s gonna be okay” over and over again on loop in my head during secks of all kind.

10:47 PM — The next debate is Tuesday? I need a longer refractory period to cool down from this hot hot rumblin’. YEAAAAAAAH.

In summation, everyone is a homosexual, except for Martha, everyone wins and no one loses, Jesus is the reason for the season, the end! Thanks for hanging out, you unwashed beasts! Haha, haha, also, FYI, you can hang out with Rebecca and I, Benincasa, on the Twitterz.

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Beowoof

    Fucker looks like Goober Pyle.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      shazam!

    • Pragmatist2

      Goober Pyle libel!

    • ibwilliamsi

      Goober was more doable than that.

    • bibliotequetress

      He looks like the worst white frat rapper to ever come outta Massapequa.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        I don't know wut Massapequa is, but I suspect it suffers a dearth of white frat rappers of any excellence.

        • bibliotequetress

          If a space alien with no prior knowledge of Earth, of the United States, of the state of New York, crashed in a parking lot in Massapequa, it would step from it's mangled saucer, look around, and think, "Shit! I'm on Long Island."

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            That's some pretty knowledgeable fucking aliens right there, Missy. LongIsland, no less.

            Didja ever see Brother From Another Planet?

          • bibliotequetress

            Saw it once, on intoxicants, when I was about 17, so in approximately 1984. Have pretty much no recollection. Should I see it again? Please tell!

            http://www.candydarlingsuperstar.com/ So, Candy Darling– Warhol Superstar, early early hot out of closet trannie, and buddy of/namedropped by Lou Reed, and her most mainstream movie was Silent Night, Bloody Night. Julie Newmar loved her and she would have made a kickass Catwoman. Definitely aimed for brighter lights than Massapequa.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Oh, it's definitely worth seeing again. Full of sly, bitter, sidewise looks at modern civilization, such as it may be.

            Thanks for the linky, sweetie.

          • sullivanst

            crashed in a parking lot in Massapequa

            Funny thing is, between Sunrise Mall and the train station, it's very likely that an alien crashing in Massapequa would do so in a parking lot.

            The name still never fails to make me think of the Optimum commercial with Barry Bostwick, though.

        • bibliotequetress

          Perhaps it may also help to point out that notable Massapequans include the Baldwin brothers, Candy Darling, Brian Kilmeade, and Joey Buttafuoco.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Oy, gevalt. Now you've said way more than I want to know. Although I haven't a clue who Candy Darling is. Would I want a taste?

    • Isyaignert

      If Goober Pyle and Count Dracula had a baby it'd look like Paul Ryan.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        You know *this* is why I love you, right? RIGHT?

    • LibertyLover

      Full metal jacket style?

    • VeraSevera

      More like Eddie Munster merged with ET

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Is that a real picture?

    For some reason the pic of Paulie wearing the cap backwards, ear buds and doing some curls tends to make me feel like he might be auditioning for the wrong gig.

    • Beowoof

      A gay friend mine has always told me that the only reason men wear a baseball cap backwards is because they are giving blowjobs. Somehow I can see him being popular in the gym shower.

      • Texan_Bulldog

        Well, I was actually thinking of one of those Jersey Shore guys or whatever, but I'll take gay porn star. I just don't think that pic screams "qualified to be Vice President."

    • zumpie

      Just showed the hubster the picture. He giggled

    • Callyson

      Oh, *that's* the reason? FFS, I've been wondering about that for years now, but suddenly it all makes sense to me…

    • kittensdontlie

      There's more…and more.

      • Texan_Bulldog

        OMG it's bizarre their campaign would release these.

      • sullivanst

        It's almost as if the dumbell is a metaphor for something else he might be grasping in his hand and pulling towards his mouth. If only I could work out what…

    • VeraSevera

      If he had a ball gag in his mouth with that little boy earnest expression it could be the makings of a HOT spanking scene…

  • freakishlywrong

    For the record, laydezz. Is Fugelsang fuckable or just tingly? Shitgodamm.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Hummina hummina hummina

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      That picture puts my stomach in a knot. He looks like the smug egotist that he is.

    • Beowoof

      We saw him do his show live, and I thought the wife was going to dump me on the spot for Fugelsang.

    • Pat_Pending

      John Fugelsang, The Ecclesiastical Mook, is high on my fap list…

  • Callyson

    Oh FFS, how many people will be alienated from getting into working out because of this asshole?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Me. I swear. I will never work out again, because I do not want to be like that asshole

      • thatsitfortheother1

        lol

      • bibliotequetress

        Stick to your principles!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          I'll probly weasel out before I'm in real danger of sticking to my chair.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    FUCKSHIT. I pre-drank all my wine, so I've only got seltzer. And I'm watching Chromeo perform live at Daryl's house, which is really fun. Method of modern love, and all that!

    I will spike my seltzer.

  • dogscantlookup

    Yay! Sara Benincasa!Yay!

  • Francis Urquhart

    That's his secret Craigslist sexy time picture.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Lemme see here… vodka? Check. Cigarettes? Check. Righteous indignation? Check. Editrix + Special surprise guest? Check. Wonketteers? Check.

    All right. Let's see if Paul Ryan actually shows up for this shit.

  • finallyhappy

    On Aljazeera – there is a commentator from Northern Ireland who pronounces Barack as Bark – I do not plan to watch on Al Jazeera

    • mille derps

      I love the BBC announcers who say "O'Bomber".

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Kudos for the birth certificate thing Ryan, you sure you're a Republican?

    Oh, yeah: forcible rape/ death of medicare / compulsive lying – check, check, and check!

    Sic 'em Joe.

  • freakishlywrong

    Only douchenozzles wear their hats like that. Douchenozzle.

  • AlterNewt

    Gingeriffic!

    • Veritas78

      You know, they have sensitive nipples.

  • Barbara_

    Ack! I haven't started drinking yet. Let me catch up.

  • snowpointsecret

    He looks like an early '90s "rapper" in that picture.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Vanilla Ice Ice, Baby…who was also a fraud (Google him if you don't know what I'm talking about).

      • CthuNHu

        You got a problem? Yo, I'll privatize it.

    • emmelemm

      Fred Durst, Limp Bizkit. Red baseball cap. Seriously.

    • snarkycomments

      Slime Shady?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        AND the tail and ears to snarky!

  • JackObin

    This race is all but over, leaving this "debate" a showpiece for two serious lightweights. Warm up the mormon cider kids. Oh and by the way, only a very small part of New York is civilized. North of Manhattan is Alabama with snow and no jobs.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Trollin' hard tonight, if a mite scattershot!

    • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

      Lighten up, Francis!

    • Willardbot9000_V2.5

      All but over, really? You really should take a prozac or something…just because Faux Nuuz is all butt rammey does not mean anything.

  • Veritas78

    Huh. I googled "Imminent Server Failure" and ended up here.

    Hello? Tap, tap, tap…

  • Barbara_

    Question for Sara Benincasa.
    Would you do Steve Schmidt? I am sober, but he's looking kinda good to me right now.

    If not, would you do my husband? He just gave me a dirty look.

    • Limeylizzie

      I would totally do Steve Schmidt preferably in a three-way with Mudcat Saunders, the accents would make me crazy hot.

      • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

        Would uniforms be involved?

        • Limeylizzie

          Yes, please.

          • commiegirl99

            Seriously, Lizzie dear one, what the fuck? I enjoy Steve Schmidt's brand of biting the hand that feeds him as much as the next girl, but that's NOT a man I'd give my royal treasure to.

      • Lucidamente1

        Thanks for that image, LL. I'll be back as soon as I have my eyeballs removed.

        • Limeylizzie

          Bald heads and Cunnilingus, divine.

          • Boojum

            I'm bald. Just throwing that out there.

    • SaraJBenincasa

      I would not do Steve Schmidt, nor would I do your husband, because it is mean that he gave you a dirty look!!!

      • Boojum

        I gave her a warm and melting look, through the Tubes.

  • Wadisay

    I hope Joe congratulates Ryan on how is marathon time is improving as he gets older.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    well i have discovered the key to the most fabulous creamy risotto: 1/2 bottle of red wine.

    see you all in 10….

    • AlterNewt

      Tease!

    • bobbert

      Do you mean you put the wine in the risotto, or you put the wine in fulflans and it makes the risotto fabulous?

      • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

        oh the wine in the fuflans and more to come.

      • Veritas78

        You put the wine in the coconut, then you drink it all up.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    Are you on the See Enn Enn Geocities website page? They have the thing tagged as "BIDEN VS. RYAN: ONE NIGHT ONLY." Maybe it'll be an all night thing?

  • BoroPrimorac

    Look, a buffed up Screech.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Debate starts in five, can someone pull that biker chick off Joe, please.

    • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

      Paul, haven't you had enough bong hits already?

    • Isyaignert

      Haha – that was awesome!!

    • Doktor Zoom

      Joe gets all the biker chicks he wants tonight.

      Nahh, Dr. Jill just wore her leather skirt.

  • http://wonkette.com/ Sharkey

    LET'S DO THIS!!

  • Boojum

    Warblog!!!

  • DougHed

    Curls are for dipshits. I'd Crossfit the hell out of his ass.

  • Callyson

    Crap, I tried to shoo my dogs into the other room so they would not have to listen to my copious cursing, but they are too loyal and are still sitting by my feet.

    Better get them a treat or ten, to go with my beer or ten…

    • Barbara_

      Callyson, it is time to get our drink on.

      • Callyson

        Cheers!

        • Barbara_

          Cheers, Sugar!

  • valgal2342

    Checking in from Kentuck, host state with plenty of bourbon on hand.

    • Tundra Grifter

      Rebel Yell?

  • LiberalJuice

    Don't bother him, he's working on his glamour muscles.

  • freakishlywrong

    I'm sure that the minute Handsome Joe suggests that your Ryan is lyin' the media will start tsktskisng and tut tuting about "tone". For fucks sake.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      Last time the media was concerned he would be too hard on Snowbilly, seeing that she's a little lady. Hope Joe smashes him in the mouth … with truthisms!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Pretty much.

  • savethispatient

    Let's hope he keeps his "BFD" (that Dr Biden has seen up close) in his pants.

  • Veritas78

    How many of us here have no pants on?

    • Blueb4sinrise

      awn mah haid!!!!!!

    • emmelemm

      All of us, Katie.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        THIS is why I'm supposed to READ before replying.

        OTOH, great minds think alike, right?

    • BlueStateLibel

      Sort of.

    • fatbob54

      Hitler?

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I'm guessing ALL of us, Katie?

  • stew1

    That's MISTER Ryan, bitches!!!

  • JadedPreppy

    The Fresh Prince of Fuck No.

  • Callyson

    The moderator can't use the term "Congressman Ryan"?

    Saving Mister Ryan…from having to admit what he does for a living…

    • Barbara_

      I think she should call him "former Congressman Ryan"

  • Estproph

    Nope. Not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture.

  • imalittleteap0t

    Craigslist missed connection: To smarmy asshole in red hat- you're obviously new to this. If you want to deepthroat me, don't stare bitch. You're trying too hard.

  • Callyson

    Hey, MSNBC finally got smart–

    AW FUCK, I was just going to say that MSNBC got smart and kept Tweety away, but Chris Matthews is going on as I type this. Let's see if C-Span has this on…

    ETA: they do and I'm off…

    • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

      You're getting something? I'm still getting "STANDING BY FOR LIVE VIDEO," like it's 1955 and we're waiting for the cartoons to start.

      • Callyson

        I've got the TV on instead of livestreaming. Just got a big screen TV a while ago and I want to see the duel in high definition…

  • vodkamuppet

    So, should I hate watch this thing on FOX or watch on PBS and smash my head on a table everytime David Brooks speaks?

    • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

      We're doing PBS. It's the safe choice.

  • Francis Urquhart

    A certain act requires him to wear the hat backwards, otherwise the visor gets in the way.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    The folks at P90X should totally sue him for defamation.

    • Crank_Tango

      I'm sure he'd just take it on the chin.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    If it's your refresh that crashes the liveblog, you win a Westgate Resorts timeshare vacation and a ride on Trophy Wife!

    • Barbara_

      What happened to the super duper back rub and the coupon for a Subway sammich?

    • bibliotequetress

      Would that be the Queen of Versailles? No thanks, man.

    • Tundra Grifter

      CK:

      Ole Newt has a Trophy Wife – too bad she's a Participant.

      [Yes, I do think I've used that joke here before. I still think it's funny.]

  • Pragmatist2

    Pragmatist Rule #11: Anyone over 30 who wears a baseball hat backwards is an asshole.

  • BarackMyWorld
  • Limeylizzie

    Oh God, I am afeared.

    • Barbara_

      I'll hold you, sis.

    • chascates

      Keep Calm and Carry Gin

  • cheetojeebus

    Is this that kid who they make those yard decorations of? You know, the little kid playing hide and seek? Creeepy

  • OurHoboSenator

    I bet Paul Ryan insists on still calling his alma mater's mascots Redskins instead of Redhawks. He seems like the type.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    I've been warming up for this by smoking weed and listening to Red House Painters "Uncle Joe" on repeat.

  • chascates

    Sounds like the 'Algonquin roundtable' of the west coast is meeting tonight. You California girls!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    OT before we get started. I get mail all the time from the United Steelworkers. I've never been a member but my late father was. Apparently they know intuitively that I am his most radical child. Anyway … I got a lovely letter from the USW prez yesterday slamming Romney. Paragraph after paragraph, taking his and Bain's inventory.

    Groovy. But NOT ONCE did it ever suggest the person I should be voting for. Obama and Biden's name never appeared in the letter at all. Are they really so down on him that they don't care if I don't vote for him, so long as you don't vote for the evil Rmoney?

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Don't know much election law, but if it is not from their political arm, it could be they cannot endorse a specific candidate in their literature.

      • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

        Oh, that answers my question. It was just a letter from the USW president on what looked like his personal letterhead. Thanks.

    • cbbruuno

      May be from a PAC that goes under the law that they can not directly endorse a candidate but can attack a candidate.

  • Limeylizzie

    Why do people think this clown is hot? He's no fucking Handsome Joe Biden.

    • ibwilliamsi

      Someone explained it as a "butterface" thing, but that only counts if Ryan lets you call him "her".

    • sudsmckenzie

      But he could totally pull off a Waffen S.S. uniform.

      • Limeylizzie

        Nope. Not intelligent and stern enough. John Thune could though.

        • tessiee

          I'm thinking Sting or Malcolm McDowell in those black Hugo Boss Nazi uniforms, but then I'm partial to the blondies.

    • kittensdontlie

      He also has pussy arms. Biden could kick his ass easy.

    • Callyson

      My experience is that it's the so-so looking guys who know how to turn it on in the bedroom, whereas the hot looking guys tend to be disappointing…

  • ibwilliamsi

    It's on!

  • Callyson

    Time to get started–come on, slackers, get your asses on the stage!

  • poorgradstudent

    Even big biceps can't distract from that Wicked Witch of the West face.

  • Serfville

    Gawd, Steve Schmidit thinks he's Yoda. Ugh

    • JustPixelz

      I see Rachel surrounded by the Men of MSNBC. I can also see why she is non-heterosexual.

  • sayprettyplease

    Muppet mouth

  • chascates

    I hope Joe Biden doesn't take advantage of Paul Ryan's youth and inexperience.

    • OurHoboSenator

      I think I read a slashfic about that happening

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    I can't get a good livestream, and then my Safari crashed. Fuck. This doesn't bode well.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Red carpet treatment. They must be expecting blood.

  • Pat_Pending

    Who are the women (or men) who want to get lost in those blue eyes??? Dude looks like a lipless Kathy Griffin.

    Watching on CSPAN, cuz I'm a purist.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Showtime!

  • Serfville

    Sweet Uncle Joe vs. "The Scowl" :(

  • http://www.cromiller.com cromiller

    Sara! Hunterdon Central represent!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Hey Paul Ryan showed up! Drink!

  • Callyson

    OH YEAH she said "Congressman Paul Ryan." You can run but you can't hide from your title, fucker!

    • Boojum

      And Biden called him "the Congressman" ALL NIGHT LONG!

  • Lucidamente1

    Benincasa and Commiegirl together? Screw the debate, let's fap!

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      Why can't you do both?

  • FakaktaSouth

    Here we go! Paul looks tiny in that chair. Especially his head part.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Well — Martha just disclosed her partisan bias by calling Paul "Congressman." O the disrespect.

    • Callyson

      God bless her for that one.

  • Callyson

    Oh God, Libya. I don't think I can handle the politicization of that from an asshole whose party voted to cut embassy security.

  • Limeylizzie

    Is Martha Raddatz drunk?

    • ibwilliamsi

      She' being a bitch.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      I am.

      • Limeylizzie

        Awesome.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    Biden's hair looks like a Chia Pet™.

    • ibwilliamsi

      His hairline looks more filled in than it did last time when you could see each transplant scar.

  • chascates

    SHIT! Ryan is wearing a bigger flag pin than Joe, just like Egghead wore a bigger pin then the President.

    I call total Flag Bullshit.

    • ibwilliamsi

      He's just hiding behind his flag pin. Plus it distracts from the giant honker.

    • Anne_Athema

      This pin shit is for pussies. I wish some poiticians would nut up and say, "We don't need no stinkin' flag pins."

    • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

      We cannot let there be a Flag Pin Gap!

      • mille derps

        S'okay- unlike R/R, the Dems don't need to overcompensate for chopping veterans' programs.

  • C_R_Eature

    Ohhhh, Sara
    what do you do to these men?
    You know the same Rowdy Crowd that was here last time
    is back again!

    • new_pic_for_NEWTer

      Way OT and almost too late, but happy cephalopod awareness week!

      • C_R_Eature

        Thanks! It was Fun and I did my part: Way over at Wonkville the first 6 "Hot" stories and all about Cephalopods!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    None of that Libya stuff would've happened if we had stayed in Iraq — this clearly has Saddam's fingerprints on it.

  • Barbara_

    Best Tweet of the day:
    Patton Oswalt ‏@pattonoswalt
    Somewhere in America, Joe Biden is doing CAPE FEAR-style bar dips while Nazareth's "Hair of the Dog" blasts from the stereo.

  • just_a_head

    Let's go, Joe!

    (Please, please, please)

  • Callyson

    God, Ryan's smile is even smarmier than usual. I am already sick of this asshole and he hasn't even spoken yet…

    • Serfville

      Seriously, I can't look at that &)*(&_!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Ben Gazarra has a consulate in Libya?

  • Callyson

    Joey is taking a good, serious tone here. Good so far.

  • chascates

    Romney looks kind of like Pvt. Gomer Pyle. And I don't mean that in a good way.

  • Limeylizzie

    Paul Ryan is all furrowed brow and lipless.

    • AlterNewt

      The very definition of weasel, he is.

  • Not_Mother

    Martha said "Congressman"

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    Paul Ryan has really big eyes. He looks like Christopher Lloyd at the end of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? You know, when he's being dipped?

  • Biff

    I just lost my satellite signal due to a rain/hailstorm. Fuckin' desert.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Ryan's spouting this shit that Assity and the rest of the right has been going on about — not that they minded when the Dubya minions lied to them and later claimed it was in the interest of national security. This assholism is just ridiculous.

  • chascates

    Is there a technical term for that little 'Eddie Munster' hair valley in his middle forehead?

    • shelwood46

      widow's peak

      • Boojum

        Cause that's where she hit him, to become a widow.

  • freakishlywrong

    Zombie eyed granny starver voted against funds for State Department. Fuck you.

  • Callyson

    "Shouldn't we have a marine attachment guarding our ambassador in Libya?"

    Yes–how about we get on that, and your fucking party reverses its vote to cut security funding for embassies?

    Asshole.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    It's not just Ryan's creepy eyes and ears — the massive, misshapen nose is also extremely hard to look at. What is he talking about?! Blah blah blah.

  • Serfville

    Smarmy bastard

  • Anne_Athema

    Oh, Joe, I love you.
    Ryan must have been shitting his pants before the debate. Does anyone else think his testes sound like they are about the size of a picholine olive? Oh, god, I don't think I can ever enjoy those again.

  • prommie

    Smuuuuuuuuuuug fuuuuuuuuuuck die die die die, with votes.

  • JustPixelz

    Ryan: "We will call terrorist attack for what it is." That's a new lesson since Dubya who called a terrorist attack an Iraq attack.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    We don't have a status of forces agreement because we wanted to get the hell out of Iraq, dumbass. Sorry about your global empire.

  • Limeylizzie

    Joe is about to slam him, don't bring up Beau Biden, or Bo Obama for that matter.

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      Or banana-fana-fo Biden, for that matter.

  • OurHoboSenator

    OMG! Ryan just mentioned Biden's lesbian son! CHENEY LIBEL

  • FakaktaSouth

    We owe the troops a great deal of gratitude. Not at the RNC or anything, but you know, thanks or whatever.

    • Boojum

      I love this comment. I'm going to gay marry it.

  • Serolf_Divad

    HA! Love that inimitable Biden "you're so full of shit, Paul" smile!

  • Limeylizzie

    Joe is laughing, is that bad?

    • Boojum

      Not when it's handsome Joe.

    • Nothingisamiss

      I love me some Joe laugh.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Oh, kiss up to the veterans. But you won't vote for programs that would help them.

  • Callyson

    Oh, you want to talk about projecting weakness abroad, Lyin' Ryan? Where were you when we needlessly invaded Iraq and lost sight of bin Laden?

  • snowpointsecret

    Biden looks like he wants to smack Ryan. Already.

    • ibwilliamsi

      I know that I do.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    Great. This debate is starting out boring, just like the last one. BORINGNESS.

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    Me, too. He can't stop smiling!

  • Negropolis

    I'm confused, too. Is the Biden grin a good or bad thing given the topic?

  • BlueStateLibel

    Kill him, Joe – with words of course.

  • Barbara_

    Joe is laughing at Paul. In all fairness, so am I.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    I wonder what Andrew Sullivan is hyperventilating about.

  • DemonicRage

    "On that same day, the Obama Administration had the same position." Total lie. As if Obama accused himself of sympathizing with those who burn Embassies.

  • Callyson

    Ooooh, evil laugh from Joey–he's got a trump card in 3…2…1…

  • Beowoof

    Fucker lying already. About the Cairo statement.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I want to get a pack of hippies to tackle and hold down Ryan so I can shave off his little pointed hair thing… you know, a Romney style hair cut.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    I so fuckin' hate this asshole.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Never too early to say something stupid!

  • mavenmaven

    Bunch of Malarkey! Yay!!!!!!

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    YES YES GO VP GO

  • OurHoboSenator

    OH SNAP

  • Serfville

    BRING IT!!!!!!!!!!

  • chascates

    Malarkey! I LOVE malarkey.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    JOE ATTACKS!!!!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Malarkey! Drink!

  • Callyson

    YES! Joey is on it regarding the cuts to embassy security!

  • Biff

    LIAR! Point: Old Handsome Joe!

  • Not_Mother

    Malarky! Drink?

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Smile big, Joey. Ya look good, chief.

  • Veritas78

    Get 'em, Joe.

  • Negropolis

    Release the Biden!

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Nice catch phrase.

    • Callyson

      Who let the dogs out? Who? Who?

      Joey did, muthafuckas!

      Seriously, tonight was a beautiful sight…

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    "We should not go imposing these devastating defense cuts" — Ryan

    Right — the terrorists are all over our not having 256 air tankers in ten years — it's basically waving the white flag in front of them.

  • PugglesRule

    Handsome Old Joe calls MALARKEY. That's it, Joe. Come out punching.

  • smashaduck

    Ryan's Amurkin flag thingy is bigger than Biden's flag thingy. Debate over.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Malarky!!

  • C_R_Eature

    "With all due respect, that's a bunch of Malarkey".

    That's my Vice President. Right there.

  • FakaktaSouth

    OOOOOH Yes. that is what I want. Malarkey! NOTHING he has said has been true and Joe's gonna say so TO HIS FACE! His wrinkledy weird little face. God I love OHJoe!

    • AbandonHope_

      I think this blog just got all NC-17 on us, folks.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        She's talking about the face on his *big* head, honest.

        • redarmyzombie

          I was unaware he had more than one.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            The fine teacher who taught our boys in high school assured us that there was a big one and a little one, and that most boys thought with the little one.

          • redarmyzombie

            Well, that'd certainly explain his uterus obsession, though I still find it hard to believe the man's ever gotten any tail to begin with….

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Make him grin big, Joe!! That's when the fucker is the ugliest!

  • ibwilliamsi

    A bunch of Malarkey! If that's not a call for a shot Scotch, I never heard one!

    • Anne_Athema

      I'm all over it, Pats. Oban for all!

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Biden calls bullshit in the first five minutes. For the muther.fuckin.win.

  • Negropolis

    Oooo…Malarkey! I can't wait until he pulls out "shenanigans."

    • ibwilliamsi

      Is that where we go for the Irish Whiskey?.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Uisquebaugh.

    • Lucidamente1

      And "hogwash."

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    YES!!!
    The security budget!
    Congressman mofo!

  • chascates

    Who is this chick, again?

    • Negropolis

      That "chick" is well-respected reporter Martha Radditz.

  • MegPasadena

    Not a single thing he said is accurate.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    This is not a debate. This is an interview.

  • Serfville

    It's called the Fog of War

  • Pat_Pending

    I drink to Malarkey!!!

  • sudsmckenzie

    Reagan!, drink!!

  • Beowoof

    Oh yeah Joe called him on being liar.

  • Callyson

    As they learned more facts they changed their assessment

    Oh, well, no wonder Ryan is confused by how the Obama administration handled Libya…

  • chascates

    That side picture of Ryan made him look like the ferret he is.

  • vodkamuppet

    Fuck. I'm going to end up smoking 19 packs of cigarettes before this thing is over. This smarmy little fucker is already pissing me off.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      He is a noisome little shit, ain't he?

  • Negropolis

    "That's not presidential leadership."

    That's what I'm talkin' about!

  • chascates

    What about pissing on burning Korans? To save them?

  • AlterNewt

    Oh, gosh. Fuck you

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    "Standing up for our values!" Drin… oh never mind.

  • Callyson

    Oh fuck, this business about when the US should apologize. What a dumb ass non issue…

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      It's up there with "Why do you hate America?"

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    So is the Wonkette going to break the intertubz tonite? Inquiring mi

    Error 404 Not Found

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      No doubt.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Ryan's looking like he don't know what the fuck he's talkin' about.

    • zumpie

      And Handsome Joe's laughing at him

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      And this surprises you.

  • Veritas78

    The little twerp is not a president, ever.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Oh, yeah!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Gosh yes, gee, lady. Sure we oughta apologize.

  • bibliotequetress

    I'm sorry- did someone not "speak up for our values? Srsly?

  • Negropolis

    Ryan is horrible at this.

  • smashaduck

    I'm just gonna drink every time he says "Marines." See ya'll at my wake!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Noooo! Don't leave wivout the rest of us!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Al Qaeda and its affiliates are on the rise in Northern Africa.

    And you know who else is from Africa?

    • HarryButtle

      Haile Selassie?

    • Negropolis

      Idi Amin?

    • Mittaplasia

      The dearly departed Manute Bol?

    • Negropolis

      Mobutu Sese Seko?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      King Sunny Ade!

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Fela Libel!

  • chascates

    Maybe we SHOULD apologize for supporting the previous Egyptian regimes.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    "Al Qaeda is on the rise in Libya and we didn't give our ambassador a Marine detachment?"

    Gee Paul — maybe there are more facts that would just make your statement look stupid — not that you would notice.

  • Callyson

    FFS, exactly when has Obama apologized for standing up for American values?

    Thank God the moderator is changing the topic…

  • FeloniousMonk

    OK — second time at the mike for old Joe, and first blood. "A load of malarkey". If I weren't sitting in a bar, I'd be dancing around the room. Looking good, I think.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    The biggest national security this country faces isn't Iran, it's the Republican party.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Loses his train of thought. Can't develop his calves. Fuckin Ryan.

  • lulzmonger

    Political ping-pong over Benghazi = nobody wins.

    Apologizing? Yeah, that's in Das Kapital alrighty.

  • AbandonHope_

    Now THIS is a moderator.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Pssst – Joe! Don't admit that we had bad intelligence!

    Pssst – Fuckwad! You don't get to blame the POTUS for ignoring pleas for higher security at the Embassies when YOU voted down funds for higher security at the Embassies.

  • Anne_Athema

    Dr. Jill says Joe's got a nuclear weapon in his pants.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      in my dreams

      • Anne_Athema

        Doncha fekkin' love him? He can fissile material me all night long.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Radditz is a big improvement as a moderator.

    • Veritas78

      Yes, she's good.

      • zumpie

        She's good and you gotta love how she keeps calling Ryan "congressman"

  • Callyson

    Ryan is not about to answer the question about the (in)effectiveness of a military strike on Iran…

    Asshole.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    We should apologize for our Value Meals, though.

    • AlterNewt

      We really should.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Ryan just said Iran has enough fissile material to make five bombs? Is he fuckin' crazy? I think he's talking about North Korea in 2004.

  • bibliotequetress

    Iran had been 5 years away from nuclear weapons capability since 1989. Truth.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Ol' Handsome Joe drilled that one right between Lyin' Ryan's eyes.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "I will nuke your government retirement and senior healthcare plan first. Then we will annihilate Iran's nuclear capabilities."

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Here is where I miss McCain. Given the question on Iran, McCain would have gone into the whole "I want to kill" speech from Alice's Restaurant.

  • Not_Mother

    Wow. He listens to Alex Jones!

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    Ryan's done. Clear and specific? He didn't know that was going to be required! Unfair!

  • Callyson

    Joey, I know it's tempting, but don't sigh openly–remember Al Gore. Rise above it and kill Lyin' Ryan with facts and you'll be fine…

  • Wadisay

    When Romney says his options are on the table, he's talking about his stock options.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    We need to solve this peacefully by bombing them!

  • Barbara_

    Awesome Tweet:
    LOLGOP ‏@LOLGOP
    REMINDER: Joe Biden is the first American vice-president in over a decade who hasn't shot another human being in the face.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      That you know of

      (Hey, I know some of you gals and maybe some of you guys have your Handsome Joe fantasies…)

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Biden's grin, on the other hand, is delightful!

  • Callyson

    Ooooooooooooh, that evil laugh again. Can't wait to hear Joey now…

  • prommie

    Joe's looking at him like "what the fuck bullshit you spouting, boy?"

    • SheriffRoscoe

      You're here!!!!!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i think ryan is actually worse than palin.

    there i said it.

    • Negropolis

      It's true. For all her word salads, she had more presence on stage.

      • YerMa

        I agree with you both and been saying if fordamnever. But I am from WI so have seen more of Ryan than the rest of you ever should.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        True. I hate to admit it, but Sarah was frighteningly good in the demagoguish department. Ryan tries to get by on "charm" (which he really ain't got that much of) and smarm (which he's got aplenty, but fuck me if it ain't a turnoff).

        • redarmyzombie

          He strikes me as a cocksucker (and not of the good kind).

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I sure as hell wouldn't put Mister Happy into that lipless slit of a mouth.But yeah. He's the kind of guy who SO wants to suck your dick but only because he thinks he'll get something out of it. So will you, but it's usually something you *don't* want, like the clap.

          • redarmyzombie

            Oh, god, he would have Oral Clap, wouldn't he?
            *shudder*

    • http://www.cromiller.com cromiller

      That's a bold statement!

    • NellCote71

      Yeah, he's smirkin' but not flirtin'.

  • ibwilliamsi

    When is Ryan gonna shutthefuckup?

  • under_score

    Every time Joe laughs, I laugh, and I wait for the smackdown. BOOM

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    I say let the free market deal with Iran.

  • kanthom

    I just loved me some Biden chuckle.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "Republican congress" tee hee

  • MegPasadena

    Obama blocking the sanction to Iran? WTF?

  • Serfville

    Take over that table Joe!

  • Veritas78

    Handsome Joe is reassuring. And handsome.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    I'm listening on the radio and it sounds like Ryan keeps sighing and clearing his throat like a little brat.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      He's smirking, too.

  • Callyson

    Big gulp of water…Ryan looks scared…

    • NellCote71

      Let's hope he took the astronautrix's fashion hint and wore his Depends.

  • FakaktaSouth

    A Romney administration (shudder) would have a lot of (really wretched terrible)things, credibility ain't any of them. Can you fucking imagine? Of ALL words, CREDIBILITY?

  • Beowoof

    Joe be schooling the boy on Iran.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Keep chuggin' that Zima, Paul!

  • Pat_Pending

    My husband is afraid of Joe's teeth. Wuss.

    • NellCote71

      They are awesomely Chiclet white. Joe's teeth, not your husband. I don't know if that describes your husband or not.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Oh god it's not a fair fight is it?

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Tell 'em Joe. Israeli Intel sez so too.

  • Callyson

    Love how Biden is pressing the point on how the US and Israel agree on the Iran bomb issue…

  • Negropolis

    "What are they talking about?", indeed, Mr. Biden. We're wondering the same thing.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Yay Joe — Ryan is full of shit and Joe's the guy to say that clearly.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    At the end of this debate Joe needs to set Paul on his knee and tell him he did pretty good for a kid.

  • bibliotequetress

    Ryan is talking about credibility. Ryan is taking about credibility . Rya…bollocks bollocks bollocks.

    OT of Iran, did everyone read the news about the Maersk embargo? Like it or not, that's a kidney punch.

  • Wadisay

    Ryan is using his puppy dog face. Joe should reach over and scratch his nose.

  • mayor_quimby

    Ahem, Iran is kinda having trouble with the sanctions. By trouble, I mean riots
    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/04/world/middleeas
    Also, STUXNET, bitches!!!!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    How to prevent war? Tax breaks!

  • AlterNewt

    "These are the most crippling sanctions in the history of sanctions. Period. Period."

    ~Joe Biden~

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    OK, Ryan's starting to trip over his own dick. Nice.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Also they will outlaw booze!

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Martha keeps calling him Congressman. She is in the tank for Obama!

  • Callyson

    Let's look at this from the view of the ayatollahs

    That should be easy for a member of the American Taliban like Ryan…

  • kanthom

    Every time Biden smiles an angel gets it's wings.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Paul Ryan is actually word-salading here!

  • VinnyThePooh

    Stop reading John Clancy, Paul Lyin.

  • Serfville

    OH SNAP!

  • Veritas78

    Carl Jung knows who wins this.

  • gullywompr

    Smilin' Joe!

  • JustPixelz

    Am I crazy or is Ryan in word salad mode?

  • bibliotequetress

    At least by radio, Handsome Joe sounds much smarter than Junior.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    cartoon bomb libel!

  • MegPasadena

    All this loose talk! Zing.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    What is the view from the Iatola?

  • Jerri

    After that last one I can't take this one. I overheard ryan saying "oh gosh!"
    from the tv in the other room and that just about gave me a fucking coronary.

  • SkinnyNerd

    Nuclear spring? Is that Arab Spring 2.0?

  • Negropolis

    Martha's good.

  • Callyson

    Love the moderator pushing back on Ryan's rambling about how we need to change the Iranians' mind. Now, if only she would give Biden equal time here…

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Go Joe Go!

  • redarmyzombie

    'Kay guys, my Telly's crapping out on me so I'm a little out of the loop here. What'd I miss?

    • Callyson

      Biden kicked ass. Go ahead and get a good night's sleep…

  • PugglesRule

    Old Handsome Joe grins at Eddie Munster's comments. Especially when Ryan says stuff like, "We've got to get (Iran) to change their minds."

  • Veritas78

    Joe is an Alpha male! Paul is not.

  • chascates

    I think PBS said Biden's made over 6,900 train trips (mainly back to DE, to get to his family after the tragedy they had). I don't see Ryan in anything but a private railway car. And not enjoying that.

    • miss_grundy

      In 2008, if I remember correctly, there was video at the convention with the conductor who used to see him on the train everyday commuting to DC.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Stop letting that pipsqueak answer first. GET IT UNDER CONTROL!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    They're spinning the centrifuges faster. We must make them go slower!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Raddatz says Netanyahu's "red line" happens this spring. Oh, and Ryan just finished bitching about how we should agree with Israel on everything. I'm so glad our president isn't committed to Israel regardless of how crazy the PM at the time is.

  • Beowoof

    Oh Joe, I could hug you for going after Ryan on Bebe.

  • Pat_Pending

    A BUNCH OF STUFF!!! DRINK!!!

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    When he shows his teeth, look out.

  • Negropolis

    Oh, Joe has GOT this thing. Game over, man.

    I told you he would pull rank like a boss.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    This is all a bunch of stuff!

  • Anne_Athema

    Oh, Joe, you are crushing this little insect!!!!

  • Callyson

    "This is a bunch of stuff"

    Too bad Joey isn't on Wonkette, where he could say exactly what he means…

  • ibwilliamsi

    Why are Ryan's eyes so red? Does he think we won't see that behind his nose?

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    OHJB: This is a buncha malarkey.

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    New slogan: "This is a bunch of stuff! Obama/Biden"

  • Beowoof

    Malarkey would have been the word to have for the drinking game.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Irish Malarkey! Drink! A lot.

  • AbandonHope_

    Both my grandfathers are dead, so I hereby nominate Joe Biden to replace them. (Once he stops cozying up to the MPAA and RIAA, that is.)

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "I am Bibi's daughter's godfather!! Bibi and I chase women together, although I throw 'em back because I love Jill! Don't fuckin' talk to me about Bibi, Kid."

  • chascates

    Next Joe will whisper 'can you believe this guy'!

  • Beowoof

    That Oh God, was the best.

  • SnarkoMarx

    Handsome Joe sounds a lot like Fred Willard in "Best In Show".

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      He's making the Smirker heel.

  • OurHoboSenator

    Facts matter. BOOM.

  • Callyson

    Thanks heavens we have these sanctions in place

    The same sanctions you were dissing two minutes ago, Ryan? Bitch, please…

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I know. OHJB trapped him so neatly with that one. I don't think the fucker even realized what had happened as he watched his sliced ass fall slowly to the ground.

  • Wadisay

    I'm 4 years closer to my next colonoscopy, too.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    FACTS MATTER!!

  • Serfville

    Loose talk Malarky, LMAO

  • PugglesRule

    "You're a foreign policy expert, Martha. FACTS matter." Zing, Joe! Zing!

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    Biden: Facts matter.
    Ryan: Facts? Matter?

  • YerMa

    Facts matter, Martha!

    kapow!

  • http://www.cromiller.com cromiller

    Facts matter!

  • MegPasadena

    This is a bunch of stuff. Irish.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      That was cute. His mouth said "stuff." His eyes said "shit."

  • Biff

    FACTS MATTER!!11!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Biffster-Bean! Give 'em hell.

      MOAR SHOUTY!!

      • redarmyzombie

        So was it good for you, MittBorg?

        I'm having a very nice afterglow right now.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          RRRowr, darling. Absolutely Rrrowr.

          • redarmyzombie

            Yup. It's still goin'!

            As a matter of fact, it kinda makes me want to go for a night on the town…

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Where do you younguns get the energy? I am passing out heah. Oh yeah it's probly all the painkillers.Well, don't get in any trouble, and have a good time if you do take your little ass out on the town!

      • Biff

        I fell in love with Joebiden all over again tonight.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Can't find you on Wonketz, hope this gets there.Yeah, me too. He was great.

          • Biff

            I changed my avatar in honor of Joe Cool, so look for Snoopy in shades instead of the choking chicken, who will return subsequently.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Not. True.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Joe is just burning Ryan

  • SheriffRoscoe

    FACTS MATTER BITCH!

  • chascates

    Sorry, sonny.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Did Joe just say Oh god damn under his breath? I know he did, I know it. Just, oh god damn Paul Ryan you and your bullshit, just bullshit. And don't be talking about what's Irish. I give a shit what your name is. Just, no.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Girl, you sharpened yourself up with a crate of the best gin, or something. You are on fucking FIRE tonight.

  • under_score

    "Malarky" is going to beat "literally" tonight

    • Misty Malarky

      …huh?

    • Callyson

      Malarky to literally: Bitch, please…there is only one Queen of Snark, and that would be me…

  • Negropolis

    Joe is literally fighting back an actual laugh.

  • JustPixelz

    Pretty sure "credibility" was on Ryan's word-a-day calendar today.

  • Callyson

    Moderator is trying again to get Ryan to answer the question on using military power in Iran. He is refusing to answer it again.

    PLEASE, MSM, please call this fucker out on his weaseling ways…

  • chascates

    I think I could take Joe Biden as my lawyer.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Facts matter! Not True! Go Joe!

  • BarryOPotter

    Facts matter, Gomez.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Gates ! Gonna dis Gates?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    "And if we have to take action, we will have the rest of the world behind us — that matters."

    Yes! Remember when our president's motto was "Let them hate us, so long as they fear us?" Guess what — the Democrats' foreign policy of not treating every nation like it needs to be taken down produces better results.

  • lulzmonger

    Biden to GOP: Eat Stuff & Die (with votes!)

  • Serfville

    I haven't heard about the Ayatollah since 1979, did Eddie Munster see "Argo"?

  • Veritas78

    Okay this is painful. Too late to nominate Palin?

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    This guy is so out of his depth.

    • miss_grundy

      If it was written by Ayn Rand, Eddie Munster doesn't know about it!

  • tifgill

    "That is a bunch of…stuff."

    OHJB narrowly avoids saying "bullshit" on live television.

  • AlterNewt

    Now THAT, Mr. VP, is magnificent condescension.

  • Negropolis

    "Fact matter" is already the line of the night.

    • Callyson

      I think it should be the Obama campaign slogan.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Bat Boy has proven his knowledge of what people think.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I keep thinking I'm going to get a nuclear weapon, but does anyone take me seriously?

  • Callyson

    DAMN IT, moderator, give Joey equal time!

  • StillGoinGreen

    Is Martha going to address all questiond to Fuck head Ryan?

  • chascates

    Bam!

  • bibliotequetress

    Oh, Paul, do TELL us ladies what's worse! Lecture us from your brilliant foreign policy cloud of brilliance!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Just send him a picture of a pussy captioned "I found your nose. It was in my bizniss."

    • tessiee

      Your comment could only be improved by being typeset over a picture of Condescending Wonka.

  • Callyson

    I may be mistaken–he changes his mind so often

    NICE, Joey!

  • mavenmaven

    nice dig about mind changing!

  • AbandonHope_

    Paulie Boy… when we go all "all options are on the table" aka "we're gonna bomb y'all," the first thing the Ayatollah says is "hey, maybe I should get, I don't know, a nuclear weapon to protect ourselves".

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    "He changes his mind so often, I could be wrong." I LOVE YOU EVEN MORE NOW

  • Veritas78

    "He changes his mind so often..' Bless you, Joe!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "If they get nukes, everyone in the neighborhood will want 'em! It's like when my Dad got a new Weber Genesis with 9 burners!"

  • nirrti_rachelle

    I just love how Biden habitually puts emphases on each word in a sentence. "We. Will. Not. Bomb. Iran." "I. Do. Not. Think. We……"

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    "Big nations can't bluff, this president doesn't bluff." That left claw marks.

  • snowpointsecret

    Biden basically just threw out the Etch-A-Sketch accusation. This is amazing.

  • BarryOPotter

    "Look, Martha, Guvnah Rmoney changes his mind so much…"

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, Biden is just going with genial asshole tonight. I can take that. Ryan seems in retreat mode. Still have a long way to go.

    • emmelemm

      Pace yourself!

      • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        The life of a Wonketter is always intense.

        • commiegirl99

          Plate of shrimp.

        • emmelemm

          The life of a Wonketeer is not always glamorous, but it is rewarding.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    I could really go for some yellow cake right about now.

    • OurHoboSenator

      nom nom nom

  • ibwilliamsi

    If I'm not mistaken, "Bibi" should have been our drink word. Mogen David!

  • Biff

    Unemployment isn't foreign affairs, Blondie!

  • Will_Panic

    Rebecca and Benincasa and rainbows, it's like a fantasy come true.

    • VeraSevera

      Yes, but heaven on earth would be Jennifer Granholm debating Connie Rice and the Wonkettes having hot lady sex while they blog…

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Biden sounds like The Only Adult In The Room from where I'm listening

    • bibliotequetress

      Same here. Hope it's not just the radio effect.

      • Boojum

        No, he looked that way, too.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      Martha Raddatz was there too.

  • Callyson

    I forget how many months straight of private sector job growth we've had under Obama. Joey, can you remind me?

  • under_score

    47%!!!! Drink up homies!

  • cheetojeebus

    47% woohooo!

  • PugglesRule

    47% of the American people — oh yeah, OHJB went there!! ZING!!!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Isn't the last name pronounced "Rebozo"?

  • Callyson

    OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! 47%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Beowoof

    Oh no Joe is bring up facts about the economy. Oh yeah let Detroit go bankrupt. And the 47%

  • sudsmckenzie

    47% Drink!!

  • Serfville

    Scranton, drink!

  • Negropolis

    Oh, shit! Get 'im Joe!

  • chascates

    Put a Hitler mustache (and a little less nose) on Ryan and he'd look just like Bashar Assad.

  • FakaktaSouth

    There it is! There it is! Let Detroit go bankrupt! Wooo! Damn Joe you are good baby, you are good.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    foreign policy was a gimme to uncle joe.

    and it worked. he's on his game and little lord ryan is backfooted.

    rock on.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Ohoh. Ryan's flag pin is bigger.

  • snowpointsecret

    And now the 47 percent. Biden paid attention to what Obama didn't do and then doubled it.

  • chascates

    Tell him! TELL HIM, JOE!!!!

  • Biff

    TAXES! DRINK!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    We should be hearing 47% over and over again, every day. We should be sick of hearing that by now. I'm glad someone in the Obama admin has decided to use it.

  • JustPixelz

    $1.6 trillion dollars lost in recession. That's like $50 to rich people

  • Veritas78

    God, it's fun to watch a good guy with a big penis.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    Get em JOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    47%. DRINK!!!!

  • redarmyzombie

    Okay, Telly's working now, and oh god, Joe had better keep talkin'!

  • Wadisay

    Go on, Joe, slap that little twat with the back of your hand!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I just had a Joe-gasm

  • Serfville

    Lesson: Don't fuck with the old guy, lightweight.

  • ibwilliamsi

    He's ON FIRE!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "I was at the 47%'s niece's wedding last week! Don't fuckin' talk to me about the 47%, Kid!"

  • Barbara_

    Joe is hitting his stride. Keep saying "47%"

  • C_R_Eature

    Biden is On Fire. Good. He's sounding almost as pissed off as I am.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      He did good, huh?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    God damn — I'm taking Joe to Thanksgiving to give my great-uncle what for.

  • lulzmonger

    Norquist = DRINK! (koolaid)

  • Callyson

    Instead of signing pledges to Grover Norquist, sign one for the middle class…no different rules for Wall Street and Main Street

    Love it! Go Joey!

  • Beowoof

    Slamming Grover Norquist and appealing to the middle class. Joe is burning this up.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Joe starting to drink Ryan's milkshake already.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Honey, he drank it up, pissed it all over Ryan, and wiped his dick on the kid's hair.

    • Callyson

      My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
      And they're like
      It's better than yours,
      Damn right it's better than yours,
      I can teach you,
      But I have to charge

  • Anne_Athema

    Oh, feck! The 47%!!! And the debate is over 25 minutes after it began. Watch Barry O rip Willard a new one next week. I am giggling like a schoolgirl.

  • NellCote71

    Yahoooo! You go Joe. Who's Big Dog now. Eat shit Ryan and die.

    • NellCote71

      I meant "die" with votes, of course.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        We all knew that.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Joe, save some punches for later, man!

  • Serfville

    Straight outta the Janesville Country Club!

  • Callyson

    Joe wants the Reeps to take responsibility…good luck with that…

  • MegPasadena

    Joe is firing up! 47%

  • gullywompr

    STATISTICS!! GO JOE!!

  • JustPixelz

    Ryan says Scranton first! Can I drink?

  • Pat_Pending

    Scranton kicks Janesville's ASS.

    • Boojum

      Janesville is a girl's name. Not that there is anything wrong with that, Leslie!

  • Beowoof

    Wow some fight back from Biden. I love this guy.

  • AbandonHope_

    I am about ready to stand, salute Biden, and start singing "America the Beautiful". Holy SHIT that was devastating.

  • Zango Crudmonger

    I'm here, and slower than the year before.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Joe mentions Reagan, Ryan mentions Scranton. Will dogs be sleeping with cats tonight?

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    What a coincidence! My drink is 47% alcohol.

    • NellCote71

      And mine is 53%.

      • chascates

        Hell, any cask strength bourbon folks in the crowd? I'm mighty partial to Booker Noe. Of course, I'll drink whatever you have; I'm not a snob.

    • sayprettyplease

      What day is this

    • Callyson

      My drink is from the productive glasses.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    And Ravitz goes for the save of Ryan.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      radditz and i think she's not saving private ryan.

      • Boojum

        Rabbits?

  • Serfville

    This is the only time Ayn Rand Nazi will ever, ever say the word "poverty"

  • YerMa

    #WrongAgainRyan is trending on the twitter machine

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Ryan's town is 10%.
    My town is under 6% and has a tree hugging liberal governor.

  • redarmyzombie

    5-point plan? Whatever you say, Honorable Chairman.

  • OurHoboSenator

    I never really understood the appeal of humiliation porn before tonight

    • NellCote71

      50 Shades of Biden.

  • Serfville

    Car Elevator Guy! Here comes the Bullshit!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Oh, please, America. I can't live with this twerp as the vice president.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Yeah, this guy makes Dan Quayle look like Churchill.

  • stew1

    Joe's about ready to punch the little munchkin.

    • tessiee

      So am I.
      for that voice alone.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    How come Ryan's bitching about how slow the recovery is going instead of standing up and taking a fuckin' bow for it? If he hadn't gutted the stimulus and opposed the jobs bills, we wouldn't be here. That's his own legislative activity he's complaining about.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Just pulling numbers out of his ass is all he's got. "Five point plan". We'll tell you how later.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Biden could barely suppress his giggle when Ryan said Romney is a "car guy"!

  • PugglesRule

    Paul, stop talking about Mitt being a car guy. You're giving OHJB an opening to alk about outsourcing!! LOL

  • Callyson

    I would kill if just one fucking moderator would point out what every economist knows–unemployment is a lagging indicator, meaning that it is the last thing to bounce back. So it is not surprising that it is taking longer than anyone wants to recover…

    (Don't even get me started on the government layoffs boosting the unemployment figures–I don't have enough alcohol to get me through that rant…)

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Don't worry, I am screaming at the tv about that (they don't seem to be hearing me)

  • Biff

    Don't talk to Joe about fucking car crashes, ryan!

  • Negropolis

    Oh, don't talk about car crashes, Paul…

    • Negropolis

      I told you not to do it, Paul.

  • Wadisay

    Mitt Romney is a car guy.

    Caddies. A couple of them.

    • Boojum

      Car elevator guy, he means.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    SANTA MITT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    These guys think "small business" is someone with 250 employees and $5M in receipts. Meanwhile, they're literally giving away the store to the big boxes, shutting down the REAL small businesses.

  • zumpie

    Goober's trying to save with the Mittens is so nice, Joe looks highly entertained

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    this is not funny what the fuck is Ryan doing bringing up a car crash?

    • JohnnyQuick

      Uh, Paul Ryan, better hope you can make those marathon numbers for realz.

  • JustPixelz

    Ryan talking about a car crash. Can I say he's officially out of ideas?

  • Beowoof

    Aw Mitt gave money to other Mormons. He cares about a 100% of Mormons.

  • bibliotequetress

    Economies growin', Paul. Unemployment is going down. Please entertain me by trying to make that sound bad.
    Ooooooh, Paul accidently mentioned Detroit and Mitt in the same sentence! He'll regret that!

  • Pat_Pending

    Mitty bought someone some stuff. Meh.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Let me tell you about the Romney I know. He has a dancing horse. How fucking hot is that? And a car elevator. Bitch is rich, that is all I'm saying.

  • http://rightthinkingamerican.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    MITTENCLAUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • BarryOPotter

    Mitts a car guy, Martha, doodes got ah fucking car elevator. Total car guy…

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Sorry about these kids being paralyzed, BUT SO FUCKING WHAT? What was the question even?

  • chascates

    But then Paul, your words come out of your ass.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    What the fuck is Ryan talking about!? "The Nixons"?!

  • ibwilliamsi

    Romney's "charity" is his ticket to heaven.

  • Serfville

    Kick him in the balls under the table for that one

  • Veritas78

    This is embarrassing.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Ryan's Eddie Munster 'do is in fine form tonight.

    I pretty sure that pointy little twilight merkin on his forehead is blocking his third eye.

  • SnarkoMarx

    Mitler sent the Nixon children to college?

  • under_score

    I always say what I mean! And so does Romney, Winnah!!

  • redarmyzombie

    I dunno, Ryan, Romney did say he didn't care about that 47 percent of America…

  • Barbara_

    Mitt visits people's homes on Christmas? It's not like he's at home, worshiping Jesus.

    • redarmyzombie

      He retroactively visits them.

      • Boojum

        After they're dead.

  • BarryOPotter

    I always say what I mean, and so does Romney.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Yeah, I heard him slip that in sotto voce. Nicely done, OHJB!

  • ibwilliamsi

    47%!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    He SHOULD pay for someone's college. He could buy a college.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Called him young!

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Drink!

  • MegPasadena

    Now the Romney as a human being story.

    • faster_kittycat

      Let it go bankrupt!

  • bibliotequetress

    Sorry, I don't consider donating to a church charity in the same way I consider donating to Doctors Without Borders charity.

    • ibwilliamsi

      Church charity doesn't count when you don't let anyone outside of your church inside your church. That's ticket to heaven money.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Correct!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Attempted One-Liner Hit by Ryan! Super-Parry by Biden! "I always say what I mean!"

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Mitt's a car guy! Like the Magliozzi brothers.

  • GregComlish

    Guys I am stealing internet to watch the debate (proud 47%er), but living streaming CSPAN is slow as balls. Just please tell me: Are we winning?

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    ZINGERS! Zingers, I tell you.

  • PugglesRule

    Ryan, don't bring up CAR CRASHES to OHJB, who lost his first wife and little daughter in an accident. WTF you lose, sucka.

  • Veritas78

    Oh, slaughter: right here, right now.

  • JustPixelz

    Biden talking about a car crash which is 47% more touching .

  • http://Wonkette.com DemmeFatale

    I love the way Joe laughs at junior and says:"oh, God!"
    Look at Joe schooling the little shit!
    That "zinger" about Scranton fell flat, son.

  • Anne_Athema

    Willard gave more to charity than both OHJB and the fraggle? Right, that charity would be his tithings to the Mormon Church. Asshole.

  • FlyOverGirl

    Hasa Diga eebowai

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Yeah!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Yeah it's not like Mitt's little tirade about the 47% was a one-word slip-up — it was an drawn-out paragraph about how the people who don't pay federal income tax feel entitled to everything from the government and can't ever be persuaded to take responsibility for themselves. Literally.

  • SkinnyNerd

    Are we voting for the person with the biggest sob story? If this continues I am going to bed crying tonight.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Let's hope a fist fight breaks out.

    • zumpie

      If that were the case OHJB would be permanent king of the USA. Not ONE of other three guys can even approach the VEEP in the awesomenest dad, back from the saddest ever.

  • Wadisay

    Mitt Romney will sit with me if I ever (((shudder))) have to eat tuna pasta casserole.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    If only Biden could force a tear while talking about his wife, the election would be over.

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      I think I saw one.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I don't think the pain of losing a child or a family member ever really goes away. At least it didn't for my parents, who could weep almost as brokenly in their late 70s over the death of my sister as they did when it first happened.

      • orygoon

        For sure. My mom was and is shattered by my sister's death, and clearly always will be. And since Day One–actually, before–I could not/cannot bear the thought of losing one of my spawn. Nothing could be more crushing.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          It was strange to see them break down so completely sixty years after the event. They wept. I only ever saw them cry like that the day they found out she died.

      • redarmyzombie

        It doesn't. My Uncle committed suicide a couple years ago, and while we've gone on with our lives it never truly goes away. My Grandmother, bless her heart, was hit the hardest, and though she's put on a brave face she's only just starting to recover from it.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Oh god I am so fucking sorry. That is hard. Your poor grandmother. Suicide seems like such a rejection, but it's not really, it's just … sometimes life is too painful to put up with any more.I send your grandmother many kind and loving thoughts to heal her pain maybe just a little.

          • redarmyzombie

            Thanks MittBorg. Unfortunately, my uncle was an alcoholic who'd been clean for many, many years but fell back into it sometime after his divorce. I don't know too much about what was going on, but I think his ex-wife was trying to use their son in order to hurt him; I say that, because she certainly tried to use him against us after my uncle passed.

            My Grammie's a tough bird, and she's tried to put on a brave face, but she's had a hard time keeping things together since. Thankfully, she is strong, and she's started making a better effort to take care of herself lately.

  • cousinitt

    Romney once raised a car accident victim from the dead because he was so generous with his money. He makes Mother Theresa look like a piker.

    • glamourdammerung

      Romney once raised a car accident victim from the dead because he was so generous with his money. He makes Mother Theresa look like a piker.

      Ryan "misspoke". He meant to say Bishop Romney baptized the dead car accident victim.

  • chascates

    Love that Ryan's flourish with the pen when Joe first started–it's like he took the entire attention of the viewer with that.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Romney looked down on the poors and said
    “Let them have college!”

  • Serfville

    Here's a one for you Joe, at least I don't make "gaffes" about "those people" scrounging for food, a roof and healthcare when I'm pimping for $50 Thou a plate with the audio on!

  • Callyson

    Yes–go on about the private sector jobs and how the Reeps need to get out of the way!

    Mr President, watch and learn…

  • mavenmaven

    great segue, boom! into the auto industry from the personal stories.

  • Veritas78

    "If they'd get outa the way…" that's what we're talkin' about.

  • Pat_Pending

    "I meant what I said, whatever it was"

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "show me something" nice. also, drink!

  • vodkamuppet

    Mitt gave some money to a family one time for a photo-op! ECONOMY SOLVED.

  • PugglesRule

    Stop talking about how you care about people and actually do it. Joe is the zinger machine!!

  • HRH_Maddie

    Joe Biden is eating Eddie Munster's lunch. Hot damn!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Ooh, Biden is whacking Ryan's hand with a shoe over the auto industry, like Nicholson beating Matt Damon in "The Departed"!

  • Veritas78

    Joe is brilliant tonight.

  • cognachas4paws

    I'm completely in love with Joe Biden right now.

  • redarmyzombie

    Oh ho ho, Biden's got his Moxy up tonight!

  • chascates

    Two wars, please. I'll use the Amex.

  • Callyson

    Show me a policy!

  • AbandonHope_

    This is an utter slaughter. I almost feel bad fo–HAHAHA no I can't even finish that sentence.

  • Serfville

    As Bill Mahr said, George Bush left a flaming pile of shit on the White House steps.

  • gullywompr

    Ryan should have stayed on the porch with the little dogs, he's getting creamed.

    Just fucking creeeeeeeeeeemed……..

  • faster_kittycat

    If I have to look at the zombie eyed granny starver for the next four years…. well…. I may just drink more or less than I do now.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    OMFG bringing up kids hurt in a car crash with JOE BIDEN? Ballsy.

    • under_score

      Exactly my thought. Some one wasn't thinking

    • ibwilliamsi

      Stupid.

    • just_a_head

      That was a seriously shitty example for him to use. Thoughtless douche.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    THIS DEBATE ISN'T BORING ANYMORE.

  • Negropolis

    Joe is drinking Mr. Ryan's milkshake.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      joe is so drinking mr ryan's milkshake.

    • tessiee

      What th–…?
      Isn't that some kind of sex thing?

  • YerMa

    lolz now #malarkey is trending.

  • Callyson

    No, fucker, we did not have the power to do everything at our choosing–you assholes set up a record number of filibusters, for one thing…

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    "let's not forget that this party came in with one-party control."

    That's your retort against that verbal onslaught, Paul Ryan? Your rhetoric is as sickly as your complexion.

  • Anne_Athema

    OHJB is Barry O's ass- ripping proxy tonight.

  • OurHoboSenator

    Mmm….green pork

  • redarmyzombie

    Oh, shut up you welfare leeching granny killer.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    According to Maddow, Martha Raddis is not supposed to call Paulie "Congressman" in the contract agreement.

    She's totally Raddisical

  • AbandonHope_

    Yeah, they WOULD have had two-party control, if the Republicunts hadn't been filibustering every single fucking thing.

  • mayor_quimby

    Awwww, SSSSS, AWWWWW, ssssss, Ooooohhh /family guy
    on the car accident story. Jesus H Christ,

    • tessiee

      Fucking awesome.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "Don't eat the green pork!"

  • Negropolis

    Oh shit! LETTERS!

    This is OVER.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    This things getting bloody, and it's still early.

  • Callyson

    Green pork?

    SHUT UP FUCKER, the moderator said it's Biden's turn!

    • JustPixelz

      It's the ham that goes with green eggs.

  • Citizen Kitteh

    "Green pork" ? That's an ill image!

  • Serfville

    Stimulus whore Any Rand!

  • bibliotequetress

    Oh, Joe, please put that "Dems had 2 years of one party control" lie to rest.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Love how Joe keeps calling him "my friend."

  • BarryOPotter

    Intertubes! How do they work?

  • vodkamuppet

    WHAT IS YOUR PLAN DOUCHEBAG?

  • ibwilliamsi

    Pork!

  • MegPasadena

    The one party control and forget about the filibuster.

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Sorry if someone already said it — but this capable, by turns calm-or-passionate artistry from Biden is just what I was looking for the other night from our President.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    Old Handsome Joe is in his element. His veneers are extra shiny tonite.

  • gullywompr

    Oh this is fucking embarrassing…..

  • Callyson

    Lyin' Ryan cashed his stimulus check!

  • coolhandnuke

    Green Pork…that's hard to swallow

  • BarryOPotter

    Let Joe be Joe!

  • Beowoof

    Calling out Ryan asking for stimulus money. And Ryan is hating it.

  • Close_Read

    Joe Biden Saves America. I love this guy. I hope Barry gives him a raise.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "Do you know how many times this fuckin' kid has written me asking for money? Get off my tit, Kid!"

    • Boojum

      This!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Advocated for citizens for grants?

  • Veritas78

    "Can you send me some stimulus money…" is there any blood left? Awesome!! Gutted like a deer.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Fuckkkkkkkkkk

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    PWNED!

    i think i'm done for the night.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Damn — can we get Joe to debate Romney next week?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    there are not words for how much I love Joe Biden right now

  • under_score

    Oh throwing that stimulus hypocrisy right in his face I LOVE IT

  • redarmyzombie

    Oh, Biden! Oh, Biden, your voice is giving me an orgasm!

  • Pat_Pending

    "be a little more candid" LOVE YOU JOE!!!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    When will you get unemployment below 6%

    That is the entire point of our program. When? We don't know. But it will get taxes on the rich under 6%, and what else is important?

  • stew1

    Joe took his Adderall tonight.

  • Blueb4sinrise

    ohgodohgodohgodohgod
    ohgodohgodohgodohgod
    ohgodohgodohgodohgod

    ahhhhhhhhhhh.

    brb.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Do I have rose colored glasses on , or is Joe just killing this?

    • JohnnyQuick

      The Delaware Destroyer

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      he's killing this like I'm killing this bottle of New Belgium Trippel

    • BarryOPotter

      Nope, yer specs are crystal-fucking-clear!

    • redarmyzombie

      My orgasm agrees with you 100%

  • Callyson

    We would not have to borrow money from China if we did not subsidize the oil industry and unneeded tax cuts for the rich, asshole…

  • OurHoboSenator

    Don't know how this is playing with the low-information voters out there…oh, who am I kidding? They're watching Honey Boo Boo right now.

    But I am loving the hell out of this.

  • chascates

    Zing!

  • Veritas78

    "A better job than investment bankers did". Ouch, ouch, ouch.

  • Wadisay

    Should we borrow money from China to fund tax cuts for zillionaires?

    • bibliotequetress

      Smack!

  • putchaonblast

    This twerp is getting creamed.

  • Negropolis

    He's tweaking him, still.

    Be still my beating heart.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "any letter you send me I'll entertain." wow.

  • Biff

    Entitlements! Drink!

  • TNlibtard

    Old handsome Joe is fucking poor Gomer up.

  • Anne_Athema

    Douchey little weasel is pretty good at pivoting. CRUSH HIM!!

  • Callyson

    Oh fuck, Medicare–can't wait to hear the $716B lie again…

  • MegPasadena

    Joe is now chewing Blue-eye baby up about the stimulus.

  • Barbara_

    Lol, Lizzie just Tweeted:
    Green Pork Chow Mein

    Paul Ryan is a Werewolf of London.

    • FeloniousMonk

      You think that's perfect hair? And I don't think I'd like to know his tailor. I'll grant you that he's Lee Ho Fuk'd.

    • just_a_head

      Aa-ooooooooo

    • tessiee

      He comes howlin' around MY kitchen door, he is in for one big fat fucking surprise.

  • FeloniousMonk

    Slaughter. There's another hour to go. By the end I expect to see Ryan reduced to a bloody, pitiful mess on the floor. By words.

    • NellCote71

      And I am going to be drunk as a skunk. We have already gulped at Scranton, several car crashes, 47%, Reagan. . . What's left?

  • JustPixelz

    It's Repubian faith-based economics.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Here we go "we got benefits, that saved us, but if YOU get benefits, that's socialism."

  • ibwilliamsi

    Social Security and Medicare was great for my family. Screw you guys! I'm going home!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    I have to say that Ryan is well-versed on all the cheap cliches the tea party loves so much.

  • Callyson

    If you reform these programs for my generation…

    …you can kill Medicare slowly and sneakily,

    Asshole.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Paul, you can't get away with this vague bullshit about how you're preserving Medicare. Joe's gonna nail you to the wall — you should've realized that by now, you callow little man.

  • snowpointsecret

    Someone told me there should be a buzzer that would go off every time Ryan lies.

    Wouldn't that be an endless noise, sounding not unlike a vuvuzela?

    • tessiee

      Better yet, a taser.

  • Negropolis

    He's going to be calling Joe daddy by the end of this slaughter.

  • redarmyzombie

    Yes Ryan, let's look at Obamacare, which is modeled word for word exactly like Romneycare.

  • ibwilliamsi

    How could we have forgotten about the $716 billion drinks?

  • BoroPrimorac

    Joe is gonna cut this motherfucker, watch.

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    Can Ryan even make it to the end of this?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      His ego is so big, he thinks he's doing OK.

      • Bramlet Abercrombie

        Uf, you're right.

  • Serfville

    Give your Mom a voucher you hypocrite. Just like Annie Romney slummin with Multiple Sclerosis and Breast Cancer. She uses millions of out of pocket money for above for pain control and Alternative Medicine etc…. Charity begins at home Nazis!

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      The medication that Ann uses to control her MS costs approximately $36,000 a year.

  • chascates

    Special points to the first one who takes his note, turns it into a cool origamie and gives it to his opponent.

    • doloras

      It's a pity Romney/Ryan won't live. But then… who does?

  • gullywompr

    Death Panels!! Drink!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    OK, Paul. If Social Security is so great, why isn't it good enough to live? Go get him, Joe.

  • lulzmonger

    "Ryan asked us for some of that sweet sweet Porkulus ca$h too,"

    Looks like someone should've done more brain-curls.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Of course, SS could be solvent forever if they would just raise the income cap.

  • Veritas78

    Now the $716 billion — thank you for lining this up for Uncle Joe, Lil Paulie.

  • chascates

    Including my God Damned Gall Bladder!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      I'd yell DRINK! … but not you, darlin'. Me either for that matter.

      • chascates

        Actually the drinking's OK with the gall bladder. Just not the spicy food. I do have a liver test done twice a year as I'm a Hep C survivor (experiments with needles whilst in college) so I have the tests done.
        As long as the doc says I'm good I'm fine!

        • tessiee

          Try drinking a big (at least 16 oz) glass of water. That sometimes helps. Of course, eventually I got fed up with the blinding pain and just had the damn thing removed. Don't miss it.

  • HRH_Maddie

    This is porn for Democrats.

    • So Tired

      Gawd, yes. Finally.

    • gullywompr

      It's some fucking amputee midget porn up in this bitch.

      • HRH_Maddie

        You know my type!

    • AbandonHope_

      I am going to need a cigarette after this and I don't smoke.

  • Negropolis

    Sarah Palin! Drink! Absolutely fucking brilliant to juxtapose the two.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Sarah Palin!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    Death Panels!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Palin! Drink!

  • chascates

    But let's not talk about previous GOP idiot veep candiates.

  • caitifty

    .. and you sir, are no Sarah Palin

    • mavenmaven

      ftw

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Ooh, nice dig about Sarah Palin and death panels!

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    omg he compared Ryan to Snowbilly Grifter! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

  • Callyson

    And make up your mind–do you want to do something about rising Medicare costs or do you want to keep spending what we've been spending? Because you cannot simultaneously complain about growing budgets and reductions in spending…

    (yeah yeah I know, IOKIYAR…)

  • nirrti_rachelle

    He'll reform Social Security all right….

    If it no longer exists, that's one big reform right there.

  • mavenmaven

    Yay, Sarah Palin!!!!! When will we get a Bush reference?

  • MegPasadena

    My god, the 716M$ and the board again.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    We've all had tragedies in our lives. I got poor service at the restaurant last night!

    • NellCote71

      I had to miss Pilates so I could watch the debate live. I know tragedy.

    • emmelemm

      My horsey didn't win the gold medal at the Olympics…

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    What the hell? Ryan is talking 100MPH and it's gibberish.

  • gullywompr

    Ryan = Palin! Drink!

  • Callyson

    AARP is with us

    So suck it, Ryan!

  • Thurman Munster IV

    Painted the little weasel with the Palin brush. Snap

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Good catch, Thurm.

  • chascates

    ASK US ABOUT OUR FREE HOVERROUND!!!

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Don't forget the jetpacks.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    You watchin', Barry? See? Like THIS.

    • Serfville

      Honestly.

  • Callyson

    Gulp of water, scared look in eyes…second time tonight for Ryan…

    • AlterNewt

      Nice catch.

  • Citizen Kitteh

    Biden knows where the camera is – turned straight to it and talked to the people.

  • chascates

    Or your lyin' eyes?

  • Veritas78

    Any senior: which of these two do you want handling Medicare and Social Security. "Who do you believe?"

  • chascates

    Art Linkletter would have to endore Biden.

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    LOOKED STRAIGHT INTO THE CAMERA "Folks, follow your instincts." +infinity x a million

  • coolhandnuke

    Did Ryan's sippy cup say Eddie on it?

  • Callyson

    Folks, follow your instincts

    Charges from the Reeps that this equals fear mongering in 3…2…1…

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Holy shit — if Joe keeps this up he's gonna make Paul go outside and cut his own willow switch.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Excuse me, Mr. Ryan? VP Biden says your pants are on fire.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    "Their ideas are bad" and they should feel bad.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "their ideas are old" yep. and they dont fucking work.

  • Beowoof

    Bad old idea love you Joe

  • Arla

    I think this is the first political debate I've watched where I have said "Oh shit, son, you just got spanked" involuntarily, out loud, more than once.

  • SkinnyNerd

    I am so loving Joe's dismissive laughs.

  • Negropolis

    It couldn't be clearer. Joe is telling the truth, and Ryan is using talking points.

  • mavenmaven

    There's my Bush reference!!!! Yay Joe!!!

  • mayor_quimby

    Why didn't anybody search Biden for switchblades? And don't forget the razor hidden in his cheek!

    • miss_grundy

      And the light saber that is his tongue!

    • Callyson

      He's using his big…you know, the big thing Jill was talking about…

  • chascates

    Shit, I'd like to have teeth like Joe!

  • VinnyThePooh

    Does that Piggy Bank come with lipstick?

  • Anne_Athema

    Ooh! "I heard about death panels from Sarah Palin."

    Larry McCarren calls that "The Dagger".

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    Duress HUR DUR DUR HUR

  • cheetojeebus

    patronizing little shit

  • chascates

    A lot of duress? I got your duress right here.

  • Serfville

    What Joe is doing is "the iron fist in a velvet glove"

    • Boojum

      And occasionally the iron fist in the cock punch, sans glove.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    playhouseofthebluelights says "Joe is such a badass"

  • Callyson

    Oh bitch please–you're in no position to tell Joey that he is under stress, when he is whooping your ass…

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      SO whooping his ass.

      memorizing lines doesn't help if you have to, you know, think.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Joe is on first name terms with Ms. Radditz?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      He'll be on a first-name basis with ALL women before this is over.

    • Lucidamente1

      Joe first-names *all* the ladies.

    • RaflcaFlkaFlame

      Ladies Love Cool Joe.

      • tessiee

        Or LL Cool J, for short?

    • NellCote71

      He can call me anything he wants. Just call, Joe. Please.

  • Serfville

    Give Eddie Munster some more duress puleaze!

  • Barbara_

    "what is your plan for seniors who can't make up the difference…."
    Ryan: "fuck 'em."

  • redarmyzombie

    'Kay, a little cheezy, but I feel this song here describes Mr. Ryan here perfectly:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVU0Y3HyvG8

  • Close_Read

    Taxi for Eddie, please.

  • Negropolis

    Okay, Joe. Reel it back a bit.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Battleship Biden is shelling the shit outta Ryan Beach.

    • NellCote71

      Operation OverLittleLordFlauntenroy.

  • Citizen Kitteh

    Creative interrupting.

  • Callyson

    DAMMIT, moderator, give Joey equal time!

    (Fuck, she's worse than David Gregory in the Mass Senate debate…)

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    Goddam! Can we get Joe to debate Mitt instead?

    • SkinnyNerd

      I would so love to see that

  • MegPasadena

    Lying Ryan is lying hard and Joe won't let him get away with it.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Call him a liar Joe. Do it!

  • Anne_Athema

    Ooh! "I heard about death panels from Sarah Palin."

    Larry McCarren calls that "The Dagger".

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      And THERE is your dagger!

      • Anne_Athema

        Bra-fucking-vo!! Loud, slow, clapping, baby.

        • NellCote71

          No polite golf clap from this corner.

    • sudsmckenzie

      mmmm Larry McCarren reference … grrrllll

  • Wadisay

    Is it just my imagination, or is Martha giving Ryan time of possession advantage?

    • snowpointsecret

      She might just feel bad for how he's getting destroyed tonight. It's not like he's moving the ball.

      • HouseOfTheBlueLights

        They need the moderator from the Warren-Brown debate. "Congressman, I owe you 1.726 seconds startinnnnnnnggggggg NOW"

        • commiegirl99

          That guy and his atomic clock. Even when he was atomic clocking against Brown it was still fucking anal and lame.

    • Negropolis

      If she is, Joe ain't allowing it.

    • Callyson

      Not just your opinion–I was bitching about that all night. Thank God Joey fought back.

  • Callyson

    Bargain for drug costs

    That's what all my friends whose drug of choice is not in liquid form recommend…

  • ibwilliamsi

    It works because it's working right now. Yep-huh…

  • nirrti_rachelle

    Accuses Biden of rudely interrupting. Biden's response, "Well don't take all the four minutes then!"

    Classic, just classic….

  • RaflcaFlkaFlame

    Joe's laugh is adding years on to my life.

    • Bramlet Abercrombie

      Word!

    • Callyson

      And life to my years.

  • coolhandnuke

    Wyden/Bennett 11th hour band- aid…look what happened to Bennett in Utah–gone

  • Serfville

    Scott Brown last night was talking about putting kids to work! Now Ryan is talking about raising the age of retirement Rethug Dickensoian talking points!

  • VinnyThePooh

    Joe in the Oval Office tomorrow: "That's how you handle those fucks, Boss."

  • Anne_Athema

    Can someone please explain to me why I get signed out when I refresh? Current Firefox. Turned off ghostery. WTF???

    • ibwilliamsi

      I don't know, I'm having trouble too. I just keep changing pages at the bottom then going to the new one.

      • Anne_Athema

        Yup. Doing that, too. Damn. Cheers, Pats.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Happened to me on another blog. Never did figure it out.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Privatization!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    oh Joe is using stale ideas?

  • Serfville

    Who wouldn't buy food if they were starving or heating bills in the winter? Goddam Nazis!

  • Callyson

    I knew it would not take long for Ryan to pull the "fear mongering" charge. Fucker.

  • snowpointsecret

    Biden coming out with his "What you talkin' about, Willis?" look.

  • Negropolis

    Martha just dinged him. Bush. Drink!

  • VinnyThePooh

    Tears on Ryan's pillow tonight.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "What I have always said is 'fuck younger Americans.' This will incentivize them to work until they drop dead."

  • bibliotequetress

    Twitter visit:

    2m Charles P. Pierce ‏@ESQPolitics
    Oh, little boy, stop being so pissy. #VPdebate

  • Limeylizzie

    Oh Joe how I love you!!!! OT Is Derrick Wildcat around I have a bird question.

  • gullywompr

    Bill Maher
    Hello 9-1-1? There s an old man beating a child on my tv.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Did Bill rly say that?

  • Negropolis

    Yes, Virginia, there is a Biden Klaus.

    Scranton Joey will cut a bitch, you better believe it.

  • Callyson

    Who do you trust on this?

    Oh yeah, play to our strengths, Joey!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    WHO DO YOU TRUST?!

  • chascates

    "I mean, look at this punk! He's too young to care about anyone but his buddies!"

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "Who do you trust on this?" You, Joe. You.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Hey Paul — when Dubya wanted to privatize SS, he didn't have a way to make up the difference in cost then, either — since we all pay for the current recipients, giving each of us our own SS account will take money away from the people getting their benefits now. Dubya's plan didn't pay for that gap, and Ryan championed it.

  • Limeylizzie

    Joe won on Medicare round.

  • Veritas78

    Someone brought his A game. Someone didn't. Seniors know the difference.

    • tessiee

      So does everyone else.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Paul Ryan is hangin his head. The hell?

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Is he dead?

      • Callyson

        Yes,

  • JustPixelz

    Politicians scare people. How did he know I was thinking about Dubya?

  • redarmyzombie

    "Guilty…"
    (liar, liar!)

  • Serfville

    Scranton drink!

  • FakaktaSouth

    Let younger Americans make their money grow faster, you know, like it did in 2007, when everything crashed. Come ooooon. It's not like Social Security was formed to SAVE people from a THING THAT HAD ALREADY HAPPENED like the great depression or anything. The Market! That's what we need. It'll never hurt you again baby. He swears.

  • coolhandnuke

    Thank you Martha move it on

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      She learned from Grandad Leher, didn't she?

  • chascates

    Go JOE!

  • bibliotequetress

    Paul: Scaredy scare scare!
    Martha: Oh, shut up and talk about something real.
    Joe: Here! Have some reality.

  • mavenmaven

    Biden for President!!!! He is kicking Ryan in Ryan's strongest area.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Well, I've voted for him for president twice now (in primaries).

  • Veritas78

    Spanks him again. And again!

    • bibliotequetress

      "Spank Me Like You Spanked Paul, Handsome" T-shirts to all $20+ donors

  • Anne_Athema

    Raddatz is falling under OHJB's spell- "Martha…Martha…Martha…" and she responds like Pavlov's dogs. Woof!

  • LePiston

    My grandma called me two days ago to say she now pays $70 per month for her prescriptions. She paid upwards of $400 before Obama took office. If Paul Ryan could go fuck himself, it would be superb.

    • miss_grundy

      Did you ask Grandma who she is voting for????? I hope as an olds she votes for Bamz and Biden.

      • LePiston

        She called ME to ask who I was voting for! She loves Bamz, as do I. I love my grandma more, though.

        • Callyson

          God bless your grandma and I hope she lives in a swing state. Please let it be Ohio or Florida…

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "I gave you a simple answer. He's gonna raise the cost on Medicare" squee!

  • Close_Read

    Joe is smokin! I really need to go out and walk my dog but I can't pull myself away from this.

    • bibliotequetress

      You may want to discuss that with your dog.

  • Callyson

    Come on Biden, talk about how Mittens would have to *raise* taxes on the middle class or raise the deficit to make his tax plan work…

  • Wadisay

    Haha, Matha puts a tax question in Joe's wheelhouse.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    BIDEN 2016

    • RaflcaFlkaFlame

      Yes.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    You know, I'll betcha Obama's Grandpa was a bit like Joe. That's my theory of why they get on.

  • Callyson

    Ryan sure is guzzling the water…or is that Kool Aid?

    • LakeLucilleLoon

      Aren't those the steroids that make him so muscular and HOT????

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    $800 MILLION BILLION DOLLARS. That is a lot of dollars.

    • Serfville

      How much do we luv Joe! 800 gazillion mabillion dollars!

    • tessiee

      Technically, when you say "$800 MILLION BILLION DOLLARS", you should be pointing to the corner of your mouth with your pinky.

  • redarmyzombie

    Guys,

    If Biden keeps this up, I'm gonna have to see a doctor by the end of the debate…

    • Boojum

      It didn't take four hours. It'll subside.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Cloture!

  • Serfville

    Clobber that smiling jackass

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Biden is sharper than I am and he's 12 times as old.

  • PugglesRule

    GAH!!! I have to leave to pick my teenager up on other side of town! Why did I promise to do that at 9 pm?? Wonketeers, my heart is broken as I won't see Joe as he finishes gnawing on Lyin' Ryan's ass. I expect really exceptional summaries.

  • snowpointsecret

    Ryan proving that P90X doesn't work to exercise debating skills.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Anyone else having multiple Joe-gasms? I need a cigarette.

    • Anne_Athema

      Oh, baby, I'm trying to uncurl my toes and fingers enough to type right now.

    • RaflcaFlkaFlame

      I've had to douse myself with water twice already.

  • Wadisay

    Joe is pounding the table with his Trans Am key chain.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    How many times do you think Ed Schultz has had to change his pants already?!

    • miss_grundy

      Not enough…….

    • mayor_quimby

      Skeet SkeetSkeet Skeet Skeet!!.
      In the words of the great Lil Jon

    • AlterNewt

      Oh…man…oh…Thanks a LOT, Chet..

      The picture came.

    • Lucidamente1

      Does he wear pants?

    • Negropolis

      All of them, Katie.

  • Callyson

    YES! Biden brought up that Mittens will raise taxes on the middle class!

    Mr President, please channel Joey during the next two debates, the rest of the campaign, and your second term…

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    If Paul Ryan says "small business" in his satement, drink. If he doesn't, drink the whole damn bottle.

    • http://www.cromiller.com cromiller

      do we drink every time he says "small business"?

  • Not_Mother

    Gummint TAKING. Drink!.

  • gullywompr

    This is a fucking snuff film.

    • tessiee

      Good.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    THERE WILL BE BLOOD

    there is blood. and it's from wisconsin.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Well — the bottle's safe.

  • Negropolis

    Joe is straight-up smoking his ass. Not even a question.

    This thing isn't over, at all, you guys. Take heart.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Is this going to be over on the hour, or they going to make the punk suffer for 90 minutes?

  • coolhandnuke

    Our entire premise…heard that three times already

  • Wadisay

    Make the rich give plasma.

  • fatbob54

    Handsome Joe keeps calling douchenozzle his "friend" I don't Joe knows what that word means.

    • miss_grundy

      It means "asshole" in the Senate.

  • AlterNewt

    "Isn't that wonderful, Eddie?"

  • chascates

    Oh, the deal is the Rich People HAVE ALL THE MONEY! THAT'S WHY TO TAX THEM!!

    Sorry.

  • Veritas78

    There aren't enough rich people to tax? Well, let's get started and see!

  • sudsmckenzie

    I think Joe has talked Andrew Sullivan off the ledge.

    • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

      He hasn't posted in 10 minutes. Do you think he's fapping in his new NYC apartment?

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    This guy should bed selling the Sham-Wow at home shows.

  • Beowoof

    Tax reforms will save everything.

  • Negropolis

    Passion of The Biden.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Job Creators? Are you really going to go there, Ryan?

    • ibwilliamsi

      He meant to say "Job Cremators".

  • coolhandnuke

    Lake Superior is overseas?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      That was a joke that sunk right in the lake.

  • snowpointsecret

    53% of small businesses would get taxed higher? Does that make the rest the 47%, Ryan?

  • bibliotequetress

    Did Junior just make an "overseas" joke? Not a good idea when you have no foreign policy experience.

    • tessiee

      OR when your boss sends jobs overseas and hides his money overseas.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    Taxes. I can't fap to this.

  • nirrti_rachelle

    I can't tell whether I envy that moderator or pity her.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Her name recognition just went up 100% … she'll live.

  • freakishlywrong

    Jesus on a saltine, I love me some Handsome Joe,

  • Veritas78

    Now he's lying about the top rate. He's determined about the lying. A salesman like his boss, but sweatier.

  • Callyson

    The Canadians dropped their taxes to 15%

    Yeah, well, they didn't make the same level of military commitments that we made under W…and unlike W, we *include* the costs of those disasters in the budget…

    Asshole.

  • chascates

    Oh, those same 'six studies' (online opinion plugs).

  • Biff

    God damn it, National Weather Service just broke in, informing me I'm gonna die because of flash flooding.

    What is ryan babbling about that Joe Cool is laughing out loud about, now?

    • Crank_Tango

      No one ever died in their apartment from flash flooding.*

      *Notintendedtobeafactualstatment.com

    • LePiston

      Pls put on your waterwings.

    • NellCote71

      Climate Changeling.

  • Dr. Nick Riviera

    I think this "think of the rich, guys!" argument is going to work!

  • Callyson

    Finally, one moderator is going after these assholes on their failure to provide specifics!

    Ryan is trying so hard to weasel out of this one, and is failing miserably…

  • BoroPrimorac

    Fucking Joe.

  • Serfville

    Mmm yes, pray tell us about your super duper secret plan?

  • Anne_Athema

    You utter fucking asshole. " where I come from, overseas- that's Lake Superior". I got one thing to say to you, fuckwad, "YOU LIE".

    Dickwad. Don't try to play that route. Fucking Fail.

  • redarmyzombie

    You know,

    The Moderator seems to be showing remarkable restraint, considering.

  • savethispatient

    8 out of 10 small businesses pay tax as personal income??? Really? These people need an accountant and some tax advice. Or, perhaps most of them earn so little for their ebay sales etc that it's cheaper to be taxed as an individual.

    • miss_grundy

      If you are a sole proprietor of your business, you pay personal taxes on it. Really, it's true. The small-time mom-and-pop kind of businesses that used to exist in America before Walmart ate up Main Street.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    New Rule: If Biden calls him "Eddie" by "mistake", I'm drinking a bottle of Drambuie.

  • Negropolis

    What? A moderator asking real questions?! She's a witch!?

    • Close_Read

      If she weighed the same as a duck… she's made of wood…

      • Boojum

        Build a bridge out of her!

  • MegPasadena

    Obama's tax increase won't pay for the spending, but I will cut taxes for everyone and problem is solved.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Martha, digging in on the Phantom Romney Tax Plan! Nice journalismising!

  • LakeLucilleLoon

    Alright, I don't comment very often but this debate has made me #1 Drink, #2 Break my No Smoking in the House Rule and #3 FLIP off Paul Ryan on my TV screen REPEATEDLY! (also it's really cold here in Wasilla and all the windows are open and all fans are on because I broke rule #2, so I hate Paul Ryan even more because I'm cold!)

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Welcome, Wasilla!!!

      • LakeLucilleLoon

        Thanks! I like to go to Wonkette but I really don't have time to comment much but I soooooo appreciate you all that comment on a regular basis and just love your snark and wish I could be as quick on the uptake as so many of you are. Just reading the comments makes my day!

        • Boojum

          Yes, but you have to live in Sarah Palin's home town, so we have to make it up to you somehow.

        • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

          See ya back here for the next debate, I hope.You're plenty quick enough.

    • Negropolis

      Wait, doesn't Sarah live on Lake Lucille, too, or is it the other one?

  • JustPixelz

    If taxing rich people costs jobs, then I assume Ryan would agree they shouldn't pay ANY taxes.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Answer the question ya weasel.

  • Veritas78

    Now Martha's spanking him! Can we make him bark like a dog?

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      Squeal like a pig!

  • nirrti_rachelle

    Lake Superior=Overseas. Who knew?

    • miss_grundy

      Can he see Alaska from his house???????

      • snowpointsecret

        No, but maybe Romney could see Canada from his.

        • Boojum

          Which one?

  • Callyson

    Can I translate?

    Go Joey!

  • smashaduck

    Reagan! DRINK!

  • bibliotequetress

    "Can I translate?" I LOVE YOU JOE!

  • Barbara_

    Awesome tweet:
    Wil Wheaton ‏@wilw
    I wonder how many copies of Atlas Shrugged Paul Ryan is sitting on tonight, to make him the same height as Joe Biden.

    • emmelemm

      Oh snap! Wil Wheaton is awesome.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Pssst – Ryan – it was a "yes" or "no" question.

  • Veritas78

    I love the way Biden's laughing at him. And throws Reagan at him!

  • Callyson

    Oh Joey, I'm loving your evil laugh…

  • lulzmonger

    The GOP will be tax reform Ninjas?
    We're gonna need a bigger bag of bath salts.

  • chascates

    Joe's a pro. I just hope he doesn't overplay this hilarity on hearing the line.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Raddatz: "Do you actually have the specifics [to offset the 20% across the board tax cuts] or are you just making shit up?"

    Raddatz and her follow-ups are killing this. Ryan's got tire tracks on his back now.

  • Serfville

    Reagan by Biden drink!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "Six studies of Nothing say that our Invisible Plan will work like gangbusters!"

  • Callyson

    Reagan gave specifics

    Oooh, that's gotta burn…good on Joey!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Joe is sure dropping the Reagan word a lot. I don't like it.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      Plenty of older voters who supported Reagan in the day and are interested in getting their gubmint checks regular and on time. Joe's out there to reel 'em in.

  • chascates

    They're working for the rich only!!! Fuck them!!!

  • ibwilliamsi

    Name names, Joe!

  • sayprettyplease

    Oh Snap!!

  • BarryOPotter

    "These guys? These fucking guys? I don't think so."

  • Wadisay

    Joe, call me when this thing is over. I will buy you a drink.

  • YerMa

    Laughing Joe Biden Tweeting now: https://twitter.com/LaughingJBiden

    • bikerlaureate

      Very entertaining stuff. Thanks!

      Laughing Joe Biden ‏@LaughingJBiden

      Wolf Blitzer called the debate a 'draw'. Lmao my sides are aching.

      • redarmyzombie

        But what does Chuck Grassley have to say?

  • Serfville

    I call you on your Reagan 800 gazillion billion times!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    'not possible'

    t-shirt.

  • Veritas78

    "Oh, now you're Jack Kennedy!"

    • NellCote71

      Never saw that coming.

  • Not_Mother

    Now you're JFK. Ka ching!

  • Callyson

    Am I being overly optimistic, or is Joey cleaning up the floor with Ryan?

    "Oh, now you're Jack Kennedy?" Love it!

  • Biff

    Not mathematically possible.

    Now you're Jack Kennedy?

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Today we are all Jack Kennedy

    • chascates

      Finally.

      • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        I can't wait to sleep with Marilyn.

        • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

          I'd rather not take multiple bullets.

          • commiegirl99

            Nah mang, just the one!

          • emmelemm

            To the head!

          • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

            With votes!

    • sullivanst

      Missed chance for a "You're no Jack Kennedy", but I'll take it ;)

    • Negropolis

      If that's the case, where is my celebrity blonde bombshell? I was told there would be a blonde bombshell celebrity. Oh, and an attractive, well-adjusted, and cultured brunette.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

    I was hoping there was going to be a Jack Kennedy moment. My wishes have been granted.

  • Wadisay

    Martha needs a can of mace.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      And a cattle prod.

    • Callyson

      Mace, hell, she needed a shotgun…

      …yeah yeah, armed with votes…

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Tell him he is no jack Kennedy

  • snowpointsecret

    Jack Kennedy just was brought up. Okay this is just too good, I think I'm in fangirl mode now.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Ryan: "There are 6 studies. There's mine. My friend Ryan's. My other friend Ryan's. My friend Paul. My other friend Paul. and, um, …"

  • Anne_Athema

    "Oh, now you're Jack Kennedy!'
    Oh, fuck, yeah, baby…

  • Serfville

    Joe "The Mallet" Biden, wiping smirks off faces.

  • nirrti_rachelle

    "Ronald..er,um….Romney"

    Intentional Freudian slip of the year…..

  • Callyson

    7% rating for Congress…nice, Joey!

  • smashaduck

    KENNEDY!!!! What the fuck am I supposed to drink for a fucking Kennedy?!??!!

    • AlterNewt

      One of everything.

      • NellCote71

        Whatever you drink I think it has to be with a bunch of the ladies.

    • bibliotequetress

      Jameson's

  • ibwilliamsi

    Scowl for Congress!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "Oh now you're fuckin' Jack Kennedy, you jug-eared bat?!"

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    OHJB: Oh, now you're Jack Kennedy? And the house roars!

  • Negropolis

    "Now you're Jack Kennedy?"

    **Swoon**

  • FakaktaSouth

    WHAT??? DEMOCRATS AREN'T USED TO MAKING DEALS? This asshole is STILL saying DEMOCRAT Senator instead of Democratic, but DEMOCRATS are the ASSHOLES? OH SHUT UP YOU LITTLE PRICK, just SHUT UP.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Deep breaths

  • Veritas78

    "Why isn't he even contesting Massachusetts?" I heard that in there! This is running the table.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Joe Biden is giving me dyspnea.

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      I'm getting diaphoresis.

      • tessiee

        As long as you both stay the hell away from Dianetics, you'll be OK.

  • MegPasadena

    Not mathematically possible. Now you are Jack Kennedy.

  • Veritas78

    Joe's having fun doing this. This is like playing with your grandson.

    • glasspusher

      More like a cat playing with a wounded mouse…

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      "What's this behind your ear? It's your nuts, Kid!"

  • SkinnyNerd
    • commiegirl99

      Dude that was rad.

  • Callyson

    Can you guarantee that no one making less than $100K will lose the home mortgage deduction, Ryan?

    Crickets…

  • snowpointsecret

    Fact-checkers are going to have a field day with this one.

    • Callyson

      Lots of them have time on their hands since the Romney Ryan ticket has no use for them…

  • bibliotequetress

    Thank you Joe for finally getting to the truth of the "small biz tax" crap

  • coolhandnuke

    Former Mass Gov. Romney not even contesting, advertising or making any appearances in his former State…great point Joe

  • JustPixelz

    Biden interrupting too much. He's not a curmudgeon. He's just being dickish.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      working for me.

      and now he's being a little girl in a white ballerina costume.

      • CthuNHu

        with a lead pipe, in the studio.

    • Veritas78

      Nonsense. This is a clean-up on Aisle 4.

    • Negropolis

      Totally disagree.

    • GregComlish

      the whole point of tonight was to error on the side of dickishness. The Punditocracy needs to be convinced that America is convinced that Team Obama can win dickishly and then gloat about it.

    • Callyson

      That's to make up for Ryan's attempts to hog all the air time in a desperate attempt to cover up the fact that he is not near ready for prime time, much less being a heartbeat away from the presidency…

    • sullivanst

      He had to interrupt, Ryan was just stringing too many lies together to be able to remember them until Ryan was done and refute them after. Just as a tactical point, better to be thought a dick than simply let the lies stand, especially as so many of them were absolute doozies.

  • Negropolis

    *Joe finger on mouth…megawatt grin…*

    Can this get any better?

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    Another math question? This is hard!

  • redarmyzombie

    Stepped out for a moment,

    Has Biden torn off his shirt and curb-stomped Ryan yet?

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    babyhouseofthebluelights is cracking me up "Biden is just sitting going 'are you fucking kidding me?'"

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Wow, Joe is in total command of his facts. Impressive. Biden/OK I'll give you Warren 2016!

  • sullivanst

    I'm getting shouty. Ryan's suck a FUCKING LIAR HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

  • Anne_Athema

    What? I do. I want those defense cut, bitch.

    • glasspusher

      True that, we're spending more on defense than the rest of the world combined. First we bankrupted the USSR like this, now we'll do it to ourselves if Pauly has his way. Idiot.

  • Callyson

    Aw, the moderator wants to know how Ryan does the math. How optimistic of her to think that he actually does grubby work like math…

  • coolhandnuke

    "Want to get into Defense now"
    Ryan you've been on the defense all night.

  • Pat_Pending

    Incredulous Joe. My new favorite face.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Invite weakness?

  • Negropolis

    Can we be clear? Joe Biden is WAY better than Romney supposedly was against Obama. If this doesn't move the needle back, than fuck us. This is a slaughter.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Now you wanna talk about Defense? Ryan is simpering at the moderator now? Already? Who bets he blames his epic failure here on the liberal media lady person moderating this whole deal? Pitiful.

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      She's too good looking to be a liberal.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "my friend" = Drink!

  • Callyson

    More Kool Aid for Lyin' Ryan…he knows he is going down…

  • Serfville

    "My Friend"…. POW!

    • tessiee

      I wonder if he kept calling Ryan "My friend" so as not to slip and call him "Eddie".

  • faster_kittycat

    Joey! Joey! Joey!!1!!!

  • NellCote71

    Cutting 120 CARGO planes. WTFFFFF?

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Yes, Joe, actually we DO want you to use the fancy word "sequestration" because "fiscal cliff" is lazy and scare-mongering.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Nice nice very nice

  • Wadisay

    I would like to see Romney/Ryan, in the 1916 US Navy, fight Obama/Biden in the 2012 US Navy.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    "If these cuts go through, our navy will be the smallest it's been since WWI." Really Paul? If that's even true, we still have what — five carrier groups on duty at any given time? More?

    • JustPixelz

      About 200 ships before WWI. There are 285 ships now. Of course some of our current ships are aircraft carriers which have more firepower than the entire WWI Navy.

  • superdave

    Ryan is so full of shit. It's ridiculous that any sane, rational person believes any of the shit he's slinging.

  • Anne_Athema

    Martha's getting hot for OHJ.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      It was only a matter of time.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Any chance we can have Biden debate Romney next week?

  • MegPasadena

    OH NO, the weakness again.

  • Callyson

    Love how Biden is pointing out that the military (not some of the military) is recommending not shoveling even more money to the military…

  • Barbara_

    Do you get the sense that the Republicans would rather have Palin up there right now instead of Ryan?

    • faster_kittycat

      Winkie winkie!! Say it ain't so, Joe!

      • Barbara_

        Love it, Faster_Kittycat!

    • glasspusher

      That's quite an insult.

    • bibliotequetress

      THAT'S what I'll be having sweet dreams about tonight!

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      yeah! i think this!

    • tessiee

      I think they would rather have a dead dog up there instead of Ryan.

      • Callyson

        But Seamus ran away.

  • glasspusher

    Spank that little fucker, Uncle Joe- with votes. Loving this.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Nice having a moderator who isn't loosing control.

    • Serfville

      She is stellar

      • NellCote71

        Agreed. Best so far than 2008, too.

  • rocktonsam

    seems Ryan is a victim here

  • Callyson

    Jesus, how much water is Ryan drinking? He's going to need a potty break…

    • OurHoboSenator

      Depends

    • SkinnyNerd

      Let us encourage this behavior then.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      I'm sure his diapers are full by now.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Does ANYONE think this is a good idea to go all over the "Dems won't work with us" nonsense? I would think his teatards would hate this and everyone else knows it's bullshit.

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      That's the damn truth.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Jolt'n Joe Biden

  • VinnyThePooh

    The job of losing life and limbs.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    She running this thing, and she doesn't even have a whip. Go, Martha.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      yeah she's SO running this.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Speaking of jobs, will the wiener mobile be available for Ryan in November?

    • tessiee

      How appropriate is *that*?

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    "When I think about Afghanistan, I think about how lucky Mitt and I were not to be in the military."

    • ibwilliamsi

      But how fucking stupid was Mitt to spend 3 years in France and not try the wine? Can't trust a man like that.

  • bibliotequetress

    Another twitter visit:

    Jim Newell ‏@jim_newell
    I see a lot of conservatives trashing Raddatz now so I guess the dickhead Biden is winning

    • ibwilliamsi

      That and misogyny.

      • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

        How dare a women assume she can talk over our Paul Ryan.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i tots completely TUNE OUT when little lord ryan speaks.

    awesome

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      You're not seduced with his numbers deluge? How bout his smirk?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    What the fuck is he babbling about Afghanistan and Navajo Indians?!

    • NellCote71

      Code breakers?

  • chascates

    We don't want to lose any more people in a quagmire. Sorry. It ain't gonna work out.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Heh heh — Paul Ryan just praised Obama's troop increase — he doesn't know it yet, but Biden's about to pounce.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    General St. Petraeus!

  • Pat_Pending

    Martha Radditz, I'm envisioning you as a dominatrix…

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      …of votes!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    When I was a kid, I always wanted a launching pad for terrorists.

  • magic_titty

    Biden is crushing him.

    • SheriffRoscoe

      Like the zit he is.

  • Barbara_

    Joe will cut you, Joe is a blade man.

  • Serfville

    They have pretty much knocked out the entire deck of cards

  • Veritas78

    When Afghanistan is a safe topic for Ryan to retreat to, he's lost.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    I've been in Afghanistan a thousand times in a fucking helicopter, pipsqueak.

  • Callyson

    Oh yeah, Joey, nice subtle way to remind everyone who got Osama!

  • chascates

    One hour and no Drudge post on the debate. What does that guy do in his spare time?

  • sudsmckenzie

    "When I think about Afghanistan, I think of whats on the other side of Lake Superior" . Paulie, you are gettin Schooled on foreign policy.

    • OurHoboSenator

      He can see Canada from his house

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    You can run all you like from the classroom or the cot
    From a great big man or a tiny tot
    But from this day, everyday will be Boxing Day
    Don't need your indecision, let there be no doubt
    Don't need your permission, I can count you out
    I can count you out

    TKO

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "I've been to Afghanistan 67 times! Jill and Karzai shop for shoulder throws and hats together! Don't fuckin' talk to me about Afghanistan, Kid."

  • rocktonsam

    does martha want PBS news job that may be opening soon?

    • Callyson

      Fuck that, does Martha want to replace that wussy Wolf Blitzer for a CNN that may decide to start practicing actual journalism soon?

  • chascates

    After the next administration, whoever wins, Joe and Paul must make the wonkiest 'Odd Couple' yet.

  • Serfville

    Janesville Country Club drink!

  • Callyson

    Is Paul Ryan *grinning* while Biden talks about what America has done in Afghanistan?

    Yeah, I want this asshole a heartbeat away from the presidency…

    • NellCote71

      Smirking is not grinning.

  • Pat_Pending

    Paul… has friends? Fellow gym rats, maybe.

    • redarmyzombie

      mostly fellow turd-suckers.

  • AbandonHope_

    I think "look" needs to be added to the drinking game for both of them, but particularly for Ryan. "You know" too.

  • LakeLucilleLoon

    Aww, Paul Ryan and his wife has a soldier friend. That's too sweet.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Ryan wants his bff and his fellow troops to come home as soon as possible. Iran's not gonna invade itself, you know.

  • sullivanst

    Ryan avoids ANOTHER question. Glad that isn't a reason to drink, or we'd all be dead.

    Also, Ryan tells entirely irrelevant anecdote. Ditto.

  • doloras

    So. Is Paul Ryan in 2012 doing better or worse than Admiral Stockdale in 1992?

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Ryan loses. Stockdale had a much better opening line.

      • glasspusher

        Yeah. A sense of humor and a sense of self awareness. Class too.

    • Callyson

      Worse–Stockdale was amusing but harmless.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Trying to read Joe's notes while he's talking. Loser!

  • SkinnyNerd

    I love how every Republican has "best friends" in the military but never any family members like old handsome there.

    • NellCote71

      Technically, private citizens cannot own the military, so no BFF. On the other hand, corporations are people, too, so. Never mind.

    • tessiee

      They all have one (1) blah friend, too.

  • AbandonHope_

    Oh shit, somebody kick Paul Ryan, his record is skipping.

  • Veritas78

    No votes here, Paulie Boy. Lost in the weeds.

  • stew1

    I think Ryan's widow's peak is growing out of frustration.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      OMG!
      I hate using the omg thing but OMG!
      I think you're right.

  • chascates

    At least Joe is looking serious now, what with this talk about all the death and destruction in Afghanistan. Oh wait, I mean the talk about leaving and staying and fixing and stuff.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    This is the new talking point "the unraveling of the Obama foreign policy"– third or fourth time he's said it.

  • Negropolis

    Poor, little boy.

  • faster_kittycat

    One of my bestest frends in homerville left is favorite hog for basic training, but he missed the sow sow much…well, then… a gentleman don't kiss and tell.

  • Callyson

    She's still trying to get Ryan to answer the question…again. I wish she would just come out and say "are you going to answer the question I asked or not?"

  • coolhandnuke

    Fuck your hometown sentimental brave military anecdotes Ryan…that's all you got you chickensitchickenhawk

  • iamrrm

    Gomer Pyle and his cousin Goober had illegitimate buttsechs which resulted in the birth of Paul Ryan.
    Sincerely,
    Todd Akin

  • Serfville

    Oh BTW, 9/11 happened under Bush, AND Bush ignored memo" Bin Laden to hit buildings with planes" on August 6, 2001! Is that why you assholes kicked Bush out of your stinky empty chair convention?

  • snowpointsecret

    "We agree with the timeline but we don't want to have a timeline."

    Wait, what?

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    "Problems are growing at home … I mean, abroad … I mean" Oh fuck off, there is no saving Private Ryan.

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    HEAR ME.

    • Barrelhse

      FEEL ME
      TOUCH ME
      HEAL ME

      • Bramlet Abercrombie

        I wish he'd said that!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    We.Will. Leave. In. 2014. Asshole.

  • Callyson

    49 of our allies signed on to our position

    Damn right, Joey!

    And if Ryan thinks *staying* in Afghanistan is a winning issue with the American people, I am starting to feel optimistic again…

  • memzilla

    C'mon, Joe, just bitch-slap that little Eddie Munster clone already and end the suspense!

  • Barbara_

    Awesome tweet:
    Chris Rock ‏@chrisrockoz
    Hello 9 1 1? There's an old man abusing a child on my TV. #debate

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      WIN.

    • Negropolis

      BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    • FakaktaSouth

      Chris Rock forever and ever. My love know no bounds. He is the coolest.

  • SkinnyNerd

    Joe should just say, "I do not want my kid in the armed forces with these two bozos running the show."

  • Negropolis

    STEP UP.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Ryan snickers, "'Kabul', you just made that up, right?"

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    "Step Up" is one module of the PX-90 system, isn't it?

  • Pat_Pending

    If Ryan drinks any more water he's gonna have to ask Miz Radditz for a pee break.

    • JustPixelz

      He's playing a drinking game too. Lose 10,000 votes. Drink!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Martha, the Taliban live in Afghanistan. They couldn't leave if they wanted to. Their only choice is to fight for their homeland. You don't win fights against people with nothing to lose. We should've learned that lesson in 1973 — we actually did learn it for a while — but now we've transcended that knowledge.

  • AlterNewt

    You see, Democrats? This is the simple phenomenon of standing up too these miserable little bully / cowards.

    • Callyson

      A beautiful sight, isn't it?

  • Humberto_Echo

    Looks like that episode of Saved By the Bell where Screech got into vial of testosterone.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    um, I'm a dude. and I want to have Joe Biden's baby.

    • Veritas78

      Maybe we can get a two-fer sex change discount.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Anybody got a spare womb? we need wombs here!

        • ProgressiveInga

          Sorry, my eggs are hard boiled.

    • glasspusher

      Me too. I hope my obstetrician does cesareans.

  • Callyson

    That was the joint chiefs' recommendation

    Who do you trust–the Joint Chiefs, or Lyin' Ryan?

    Good, Joey…I think you've got this…

  • chascates

    NOT the mountain top story!!!

  • coolhandnuke

    It's like Ward Cleaver is dressing down Eddie Haskell

  • CthuNHu

    I've been listening on the radio, and just started watching.

    Who is that old man, and why won't someone save that nice-looking boy that he is beating the living shit out of?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "In the winter, the passes fill in with snow, and the Vikings come over from Minnesota to fight. And the Bears."

    • glasspusher

      The Bears…

    • mayor_quimby

      Protect Lambeau at all costs!!!
      Also, I am queuing up FoxNews on pause for their response, should be epic.
      Hope Krauthammer has his chair charged up.

    • Toomush_Infer

      And de Lions….maybe….

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Why is Ryan trying to pretend he's in the military? Fighting in Afghanistan, even?

  • Veritas78

    Ryan is parroting what he's been briefed on. The ignorance is right below the surface.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Joe's smacking him down!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Paul Ryan is about to get a slushie in the face.

    • Barrelhse

      I've never heard it called a "slushie".

  • Close_Read

    This is how it works in the big leagues, Eddy.

  • Wadisay

    I'm not sure I know what point Ryan is trying to make about Afghanistan. Is there a thesis in there somewhere?

  • Negropolis

    This truly no country for young me…not tonight, anyway.

  • Biff

    Damn, good to see OHJ even jumping on Martha!

  • http://dandalionsworld.blogspot.com/ dandalion

    Well at least this one is way more entertaining than the presidential one…

    I always enjoy watching Joe speak :D

  • Callyson

    Because we turned it over to the Afghan troops we trained…he's conflating two issues

    GOD, I love this! Joey is showing how much Ryan is just not ready for prime time!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    thanks for the calendar tutorial Paul.

    douche.

    • AbandonHope_

      I know, after that little smarmy prick said that I wanted Biden to stand up and whale on him with his chair.

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    Wow, Ryan is really, really acting like a dick. Wow.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Ryan knows about "fighting season" because, military people.

  • Wadisay

    Ryan is using his "well duh" voice. Mistake.

  • SkinnyNerd

    How are you all upvoting, posting, being witty, and following the debate? I feel older than OJB.

    • Pat_Pending

      We are following the example of Original Joe Biden. Old Joe-y Bastard. Whatever.

  • Negropolis

    Oh shit! Fight!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Ryan "They're still coming in — to Zabar, to Abul — to these other places."

    Don't forget Vandelay.

  • Serfville

    Last word, snap!

  • JustPixelz

    "Sending Afghans to do the job!" Works for me.

  • gullywompr

    Whoa. Shut his ass up!

  • AbandonHope_

    I like how Ryan is trying to do the snarky thing that Biden does, but when he does it, he just comes off as the King of the Fratboy Douchebags.

    • ibwilliamsi

      Plus he has a little schmoots on his nose.

  • Callyson

    Oh GOD, Ryan is digging himself into a hole on Afghanistan. I am really starting to feel good now…

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    The Civil War? Yeah! In Syria? Damn.

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    AFGHANS TO DO THE JOB!! SIT THE FUCK DOWN, LITTLE DUDE!

  • Beowoof

    Afghan's be responsible. Republican, want to keep troops there to keep the income stream for Haliburton

  • Veritas78

    Oh, goodie! Syria. That should be easy turf for Ryan. He knows so much about it.

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    I haven't heard Biden call Ryan his friend in a while. Scary stuff.

  • Biff

    That's a different country.

    Derp.

  • MegPasadena

    Is Ryan now arguing about staying in Afghanistan forever?

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    That round went to Handsome Joe, too.

  • Callyson

    HuffyPo home page:

    BIDEN ON FIRE…SURVEY: JOE THUMPING RYAN

    Oh yeah!

  • ibwilliamsi

    Win for Biden!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Just look over at The Corner, they think Biden is being rude. I think that means he is killing.

  • Serfville

    You can't have cigars & drinks with the big boys, little one, go to bed now.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    fuck you asshole, it's not confusing to me. don't patronize me. i actually have a pretty good sense of – actually all of this crap – which YOU didn't till last week when you were training for the debates.

    asshats.

  • MegPasadena

    Now Joe is really shouting at the poor child.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Loose talk!

  • rocktonsam

    I wish Joe would have did this to $arah so long ago

  • Negropolis

    "The congressman"

    That's right, Joe. Don't even use that toady's fuckin' name.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    "The Congressman." Watch your mouth, Joe.

  • redarmyzombie

    Poor Joe, I think Ryan's broken his patience.

  • mavenmaven

    I love it when Biden plays the bulldog, he bites down and doesn't let up. He took that Afghan attack by Ryan and flipped it around. Such a joy to watch a great performance like this.

  • SkinnyNerd

    As much as I like Joe, I really want to see him justify Bahrain.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "Verbage" = drink!

  • gullywompr

    Also, never go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line!

  • nirrti_rachelle

    "Lets move on to another war.."

    We sure will if Mittens gets in office.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      That should be plural…
      Wars

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Oh, now OHJB is MAD!

    • rocktonsam

      J is awesome when he is mad

  • Callyson

    You know, I think the Reeps must have bought their own rhetoric about how Joey supposedly is gaffe prone, and were counting on him fucking this up. That is the only logical explanation* I can think of for how badly prepared Ryan is and what a poor performance he's giving.

    *Yeah, I know, Republicans and logic are never in the same building together…

    • Not_Mother

      Conservatives praised Raddatz for grilling Biden on Libya — now tweets about bias, wedding two decades ago.

    • AbandonHope_

      More like they think this debate doesn't matter. They got all cocky with RMoney's performance.

      Whether this debate will matter… I'm no political strategist, I don't know. I wish it would. Shit, right now I'd be happy with a Biden/Obama ticket.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

      He was prepped with Ted Olson in the role of Biden. Doesn't sound like Ted caught it exactly right.

    • UW8316154

      Politico has a piece up about Ryan's awesome debate prowess…..I think he just got pwned.

  • LakeLucilleLoon

    My dogs just asked me what my upheld middle finger and "smirky, mcsmirky, fuck you" might mean. My Pit just ran to the TV and popped it with his paw. He hates Ryan too.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Internet breaks when comments get to page 20

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Don't fuck with Russia Ryan.

  • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

    Paul Ryan has introduced a whole new head-loop to his body language. Romney just blinks rhythmically when HE lies.

  • gullywompr

    Russia?!?!? Dafuck?

  • Callyson

    Oh, you want to go on about Russia now?

    Quick now, Ryan, who is the president who looked into Putin's eyes and saw his soul?

  • smashaduck

    We're back to Bashar? WTF? Did he run out of musin sounding names?

  • Serfville

    Oh, Ayn Rand really has the pulse of the American People, we are sick of wars the end. Wrong wrong wrong

  • ibwilliamsi

    I'm thinking that Russia isn't going to just give up the UN veto…

  • SkinnyNerd

    Is this guy saying we should confront the only other country in the world with enough ICBMs to obliterate us?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "Kofi Annan" = Drink!

  • coolhandnuke

    I have not felt or heard any conviction, emphasis, passion or integrity in Ryan's voice throughout.

  • bibliotequetress

    Last twitter visit, I promise:

    Paul Ryan Gosling ‏@PaulRyanGosling
    Hey girl, if this VP thing doesn't work out, I'm pretty sure I have a future as the voice of an animated weasel. #vpdebate

    9m Paul Ryan Gosling ‏@PaulRyanGosling
    Hey girl, trust me, I kind of want to smash my big, smug face with a hammer, too. #lol #vpdebate

    11m Paul Ryan Gosling ‏@PaulRyanGosling
    Hey girl, I'm not taking nervous sips of water, I'm drinking every time Biden laughs at me. #vpdebate

    13m Paul Ryan Gosling ‏@PaulRyanGosling
    Hey girl, I hope I don't sound condescending. (That means "talking down to.") #vpdebate

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Romney/Ryan foreign policy seems to be "Well we would have done it better neener neener neener!!"

  • VinnyThePooh

    The Ataris?

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      And the Sega Dreamcasts!

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Biden: "Are they proposing putting American troops on the ground [in Syria]? If they do, they should stand up and say so!"

    Ryan says nobody's advocating invading Syria. Then says we shouldn't have brought a resolution through the UN to let Russia veto it. And Biden nails it — "What would my friend do differently?"

  • sudsmckenzie

    Good idea Janesville Johnny, bash Hillary. just keep talking ….

  • Callyson

    If you notice, he never answers the question

    YES!!!! If the moderator is not going to call him out on it, I am glad Joey is stepping up!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    hahahahha frat boy is listing the names of middle east countries he learned last night.

    damn joe is so schooling this tool.

  • Barbara_

    Another awesome tweet:
    James Urbaniak ‏@JamesUrbaniak
    The true hero of this debate is Paul Ryan's water glass refiller.

    • ibwilliamsi

      Bam!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Afghans. AFGHANS!! you fucking pup.

    I LOVE JOE!!!

  • Negropolis

    Like a lamb to slaughter, I tells ya…like a lamb to slaughter.

  • MegPasadena

    Out sourcing foreign policy to UN, bad. Now Ryan wants to go do stuff unilaterally again, just like Iraq.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    I want to pull Ryan's teeth out with votes.

  • bibliotequetress

    Dumbass! Junior brought up Junior! And exposed his fartmind Boltontood about the UN!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Biden re: Syria "Look, punk. I'd tell ya' but then I'd have to kill ya' [w/ votes]"

  • coolhandnuke

    change "my friend" to "my little friend" just once tonite Joe…please

  • Callyson

    That laugh again…love you, Joey!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    ryan just lost completely.

    awesome.

  • Callyson

    Joey is *really* having to work hard to keep his composure. I know how he feels.

  • ibwilliamsi

    What would Romney/Ryan do?

    We would not have, we should not have, but we agree with them on what they will do.

  • LakeLucilleLoon

    What the fuck. Ryan has no clue. Biden is an insider. Ryan is just talking out his butt.

  • Negropolis

    Oh, Martha's even killing him, right now.

  • Serfville

    The word "humanitarian" makes Ayn Rand vomit in his mouth

  • VinnyThePooh

    I guess that means no humanitarian aid.

  • e_z

    Hey rYAN, GOT ANY FUCKING IDEA WHO the freedom fighters actually are and what their alighnments might be?

    Whqat a douche.

  • Callyson

    FFS, Ryan doesn't know when to cut his losses and STFU…

  • ibwilliamsi

    This particular situation would be Syria. Any thoughts, Mr. Ryan?

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Humanitarian? What the fuck does that mean, Radditz?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    CATHOLIC QUESTION TIME

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Give Joe a break. Let Martha debate Eddie.

  • bibliotequetress

    PLEASE bring up women, Martha SHE DID IT BEFORE I FINISHED TYPING!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      sorta.

  • shrillharpy

    Catholics?? Drink!

  • Callyson

    Oh God, can't we ask an abortion question without dragging up religion as well?

    • http://www.cromiller.com cromiller

      No. No we can not.

  • memzilla

    JOE! FINISH HIM!!!!1!!!!

  • Veritas78

    Okay, fifteen minutes to go, and America has a good sense of the depth and grasp of these two.

    Catholicism? Batter up!

  • Biff

    Abortion! Oh snap!

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    Thank GOD we're talking about the abortionz!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Catholics!
    Abortion!
    Pope!
    Drop pants!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    If there is a God, one of these two will be smited, and the debate will be over. Come on God, where are you?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Christ on a biscuit Martha — do you have to beg these assholes to talk personally?

  • JustPixelz

    Ryan says criteria for military intervention is "national security interests of America". So how does that justify intervening in Syria?

  • under_score

    tough one for Joe…speaking as a fellow pro-choice catholic, he will speak for me, I know

  • snowpointsecret

    How to take care of the vulnerable? Ryan clearly knows about that. Just ignore it and it'll go away.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    "I don't see how a person can separate public life from their faith" and if I EVER had any tiny inkling that I would ever vote for one of these faith-based idiots, it just died.

    • tessiee

      They also don't see how a person can separate HAVING faith from imposing their faith on everyone else, which is the REAL problem.

      • PlanetWingNut

        but they some how don';t see has taking care of the poor and sick and elderly as something that they should impose their faith on…no cut medicade, cut welfare, cut food stamps cut unemployment checks and revoke obamacare. some how their faith doesn't kick in like it does with abortion.

  • Barbara_

    Biden is one giggle at Ryan's expense away from my needing a cigarette and a snuggle.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Since neither of these dudes will ever have an abortion, I don't really give a shit what their choice making processes on the matter are. I give a fuck.

    • Callyson

      I wish to fuck that I could give more than one upfist to this…

  • smashaduck

    I'm not just pro-life 'cause I'm a Catholic. It's cause I don't have a vagina. They're yucky.

    • Boojum

      Like mussels.

      • Callyson

        "Yet strangely compelling."

        Or so the Simpsons dudes say…

      • mayor_quimby

        Yu gotta get better mussels, then they are so tasty

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    Reason and science?! Ryan, no! You will alienate your base!

    • mille derps

      Nah- they're too lazy to get off the couch & look for that dictionary.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Abortion!! Finally.

  • Callyson

    I don't see how a person can separate their personal life from their public life

    So it's official–Ryan opposes the separation of church and state. Does this fucker think the Catholic Church would have survived in the US without it?

    Fucker.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    It's not about "belief" asshole, it's called "science"

  • MegPasadena

    Now the abortion issue, finally.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Oh, this ultrasound anecdote is not working for you, Paulie.

  • under_score

    My daughter looked like a bean in utero. Life begins at conception. And that's why to this day, I don't eat beans

    • glasspusher

      What does a bean look like?

      • mille derps

        Like Paul Ryan's hobo daughter.

  • Negropolis

    This is an unmitigated diaster for Ryan, a veritable unmitigated disaster.

    • finallyhappy

      Yes!!!

    • glasspusher

      Here's hoping it's one for Romney as well.

    • miss_grundy

      Maybe you should call him Palin Ryan now…..

    • Nothingisamiss

      Not according to Wolf Blitzer. And he's always right.

  • SkinnyNerd

    Can Thomas Paine come back to earth and explain to this kid how someone can separate government from religion. Maybe he can smack him around with the first amendment for a little while.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Paul Ryan wants to take care of the vulnerable. Ayn Rand does not approve.

    • Negropolis

      This is the only thing I'm sad that Joe didn't bring up. Ayn Rand needed a mention, here.

    • glasspusher

      Maybe Paul should take care of himself in this debate, then…

  • ibwilliamsi

    Wow, a married couple trying to get pregnant loved their unborn child! Who'dafuckin'thought?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Paul Ryan bases his pro-life stance on reason and science? Does he know what those words mean? Would he apply them to any of his other maniacally twisted attitudes?

  • IndianaKevin

    Heart-warming anecdote alert!

  • caitifty

    Great, now we're going to waste the last few minutes talking about imaginary sky fairies. Ryan should be on good ground talking about imaginary shit.

    • BarryOPotter

      Nope! He fucked that up too!

  • Veritas78

    All babies should be nicknamed Bean. Except for those that look like mushrooms.

    • tessiee

      What about the ones who look like chickens, hengh?

  • AlterNewt

    To paraphrase the VP from earlier in the debate:

    This is the most crippling floor-wiping in the history of floor-wipings. Period. Period.

  • Callyson

    Rape exception…yeah, would that be forcible rape or legitimate rape, fucker?

  • smashaduck

    I believe life begins when you log into youporn and find your tissues. ABORTION!

  • bibliotequetress

    Your faith teaches you how to take care of the vulnerable? splutterspluttercoughtinyvomit. Who the fuck do you consider vulnerable? I HATE YOU JUNIOR.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Pres.Beeblebrox

      Funny, I thought Ayn Rand's solution was to kick 'em to the (privatized) curb.

  • IndianaKevin

    Beans begin at conception.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Ryan is taking about Beanie babies!

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Like Snowflake Babies, only bigger.

  • snowpointsecret

    Ryan aborting his chances of being the Vice President in this debate.

  • redarmyzombie

    Oh my god, what a fucking liar.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Why does Ryan keep trotting out these stupid anecdotes about his personal shit? I could not care less, you stupid fucker, shut UP already.

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    My "live feed" is a little bit behind the real feed. Could you guys give a quick shout-out if Ryan's head explodes?

    • Veritas78

      That happened in the womb. This is the result.

  • nirrti_rachelle

    "…..abortion": That should be worth a whole bottle of Jack Daniels if you're doing the Drinking Game.

  • mayor_quimby

    Is This Fucking Guy talking science? Science!!!
    Seriously
    So he didn't get an ultrasound on her previous pregnancies? Good plan, Stan.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Life begins at foreplay.

    • tessiee

      "hey, I bought her a drink!"

  • VinnyThePooh

    Church Shmurch. They are a fuckin' business.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Churches should stay out of the Health Insurance business if they find healthcare practices to be against their personal views.

  • AbandonHope_

    This is a tough one for Biden, because Catholicism and pro-choice are not mutually compatible. (I know, because I'm basically living in venial sin or whatever the hell it is for being married outside of a Catholic church.)

  • Close_Read

    Joe. Represent.

    • StillGoinGreen

      Joe's in the muhfuckin house!!

      (Yea! For the first time, it doesn't sound all whitey when I used "muhfuckah!)

  • Callyson

    And fuck this business about Catholic hospitals and schools–if they want to impose their religious dogma, let them do so within actual church institutions, and get out of other business activities…

  • coolhandnuke

    Beans and life begins at conception.
    Moral: Kids eat your beans or you'll end up like this guy.

  • bibliotequetress

    There is no taxpayer funding of abortion, asshat. Not now, not since the 1970's.

  • Negropolis

    Joe Biden goes earnest Christian Bale.

    • ElPinche

      Ryan is Paul Allen. "Hey Paul!"

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      [quietly] oh good for you…

  • Anne_Athema

    Separation of Church and State, motherfucker. Constitution 101.

    Why is it all "small government & shit" except when it come to women's uteruses?

    • ibwilliamsi

      That's what Paul is used to.

  • mayor_quimby

    Loving throaty voice Biden on the religion question. Great pull.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Also love serious Joe.mmmm

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    Because I just masturbated in the shower to Joe Biden in this debate, did I have an abortion also?

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Joe pulls out the Latin! Panties soaking across America!

  • Not_Mother

    A bean is not a human being! Did he just make the pro-choice case?

    • IndianaKevin

      What about a human bean?

    • Biff

      Human beans!

  • snowpointsecret

    Biden approves of freedom of religion. Knocking it out of the park.

    • NellCote71

      He just did, didn't he?

  • vodkamuppet

    Ryan just set Joe up for a smack down here.

    • cousinitt

      Joe's been smacking on this little creep from minute one.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    why is joe sounding like christian bale right now?

    • Bramlet Abercrombie

      Don't know, but I kinda like it.

  • Humberto_Echo

    I don't what's worse, having your warped views on legitimate rape shaped by your faith or by reason.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I want to marry Joe. Am i gay?

    • NellCote71

      I want to marry him, too. Does that make me a home wrecker?

    • AbandonHope_

      Nah, you're just a Bidensexual.

      • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

        Tonight we are all Bidensexual.

  • FeloniousMonk

    Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I thought Ms. Raddatz was doing a very creditable job. Now she wastes the end of the debate on "how does your religion inform your beliefs?" At least I get a much needed piss- and cigarette-break.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Fact – Drink!

  • Serfville

    That smiling &*(#!

  • AlterNewt

    "Sara Benincasa is taking the reins…"

  • gullywompr

    Rape! Drink!

  • Veritas78

    If Joe outlines all of Romney's positions on abortion, that will run out the clock.

  • Callyson

    Well, I guess he accepts Romney's position now

    Nice way to notice that Ryan is a flip flopper too, Joe!

  • Negropolis

    Ryan has nowhere to run on the issue of rape. Nowhere. He's through.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Forcible baptism. That's just freedom of religion, bitches.

    • Negropolis

      Oh, this is good. This is reel gud.

  • redarmyzombie

    Where's you fucking smug grin now, Ryan?

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Finally … somebody mentions women and their doctors in an abortion debate.

    • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

      Abortion is not about women. IT IS ABOUT WHITE MEN.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Did you check with Willard on this, Ryan?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      Willard agrees … and disagrees. Depending what day it is.

      • bikerlaureate

        And whether it's morning or afternoon…

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    "All I am saying, is if you believe life begins at conception…."

    Biden should have come back "All I am saying, is give abortion a chance…"

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Paul Ryan: "We don't think"

    Us: "WE KNOW!"

  • snowpointsecret

    Unelected judges? You mean like Scalia?

  • dogscantlookup

    Uncle Joe, I'm just sayin' you might have to change your middle name from Robinette to Bitches. Is all I'm tryin' to say. No disrespect.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Bork! = Drink!

  • bibliotequetress

    So is Junior opposed to the death penalty? Does he believe in forcing millionaires to give up all their worldly wealth and follow Jesus? No. He does not.

  • Veritas78

    This is not going to be a big finish for Lil Paulie.

  • chascates

    Not the Evil Judge Bork?????!?

    • AbandonHope_

      The man that the adjective "borked" was named for? Yeah, that guy.

  • Callyson

    Supreme Court nominees…thanks for reminding us of reason #586,089,385 to vote for Obama!

  • Close_Read

    Joe is making me ovulate. And I don't think I can even do that anymore.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      I can't and I just… oh god.

    • tessiee

      Joe is making everyone ovulate, including the menfolks.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Joe's startin' to get tired.

    • AbandonHope_

      Maybe, but I think he's also very good at modulating his volume and demeanor with respect to the question being asked.

    • SheriffRoscoe

      Like when you punch somebody in the face and their face makes your fist hurt.

  • chascates

    What is the capital of Assyria?

    • snowpointsecret

      I swear there's a Kim Kardashian joke here.

    • IndianaKevin

      I'm guessing it's the A.

    • AlterNewt

      Addamascus.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Adamascus?

      A-Aleppo?

    • MosesInvests

      Nerdy, non-snarky answer. Nineveh.

    • tessiee

      With a coconut in its beak?

  • OurHoboSenator

    Warm up the bus! Warm up the bus!

  • Callyson

    Wow, Ryan really sucked tonight. God is great!

  • bibliotequetress

    Joe: good on you for for bringing up the Supes.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    I support our troops.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Hey Paul, life doesn't begin at conception. Both of the components of conception are already alive — they're the sperm and the egg, and they're uniquely human, haploid sex cells that are alive. Not that I agree with you — just saying you ought to take your criterion to its logical conclusion.

    • Callyson

      Every sperm is sacred!

    • bibliotequetress

      I wish everyone who ever says, "Life begins at…" would be retrained in a very Clockwork Orangey way to say, "In my opinion life begins at…"

  • vodkamuppet

    I could watch like 4 more hours of this.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Are you nutz?

  • CthuNHu

    "That's a principle; the policy of the Romney administration will be…"

    Ah yes, the old "assure the electorate that you separate policy from principle" tactic. Always a winner.

  • chascates

    That's how ALL campaigns are, kiddo! Since the early 1800s at least.

  • redarmyzombie

    "Was there a limitus test?"
    "There was no limitus test."

    Take that, granny killing shithead.

    ugh, I hate that fucker.

  • Biff

    I'm taking Beano as a contraceptive.

    • http://dandalionsworld.blogspot.com/ dandalion

      That made me laugh!! :D

    • IndianaKevin

      Do you understand how sex is supposed to happen?

      • Biff

        How is babby formed?

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Ha!

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      NOT taking Beano is a contraceptive.

    • bibliotequetress

      Prevents ovulation AND farting!

      • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

        Who wants to prevent farting? It's like my favorite thing to do.

  • Beowoof

    Biden, just owned him on the Supreme Court.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Thank you Wonketariat for making this evening bearable. I had every confidence in Joe but I knew that actually watching Ryan would make me too angry to function.

    • Nothingisamiss

      Seriously, the first 5 minutes of this thing I was almost too angry and anxious to keep watching. And the Joe came with his pesky facts……..*swoon*

      • Boojum

        They matter.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Someday Ryan's children will serve? Ha!

    • Boojum

      In a McDonald's.

    • lulzmonger

      Yes, just like Mitt's sons are serving n- oh, wait.

    • StillGoinGreen

      No, they won't. Only the poor die for their country, the rich honor them!

  • Wadisay

    Perhaps some day Ryan's kids will serve as well.

    That will be the day! We have people to do these things.

  • AlterNewt

    And just like magic, I no longer need to borrow .38 with a single bullet ,or some good, strong hanging rope and a chair.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Hang in there, baby!

      Oops, I mean… um…

      Hang on!

      Dammit!

      Be strong. Be well, [hugs]

      • AlterNewt

        Thanks. I'vejust realized that one shouldn't make suicide jokes here because, well…one just shouldn't.

        • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

          Suicide jokes are rarely appropriate but there's always that Dorothy Parker poem with "and ropes can give…might as well live" (however it goes) Or Marva Staples "You're Not Alone" when a more direct intervention is called for.

  • Callyson

    More water sips…more fear in Ryan's eyes…love you, Joe!

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    47% again! Finish your drink!

  • Serfville

    Forty Seven Percent! Drink! (It's about F'n time)

  • chascates

    Yes, those Supreme Court-allowed abominations!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Wow, that's one tax dodge Mitt hasn't been able to take advantage of. Military service in a war zone, I mean.

  • Not_Mother

    Soldiers as 47% of "takers."Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon his head…

  • http://www.wonkette.com WordSaladNation

    47%! I wish I lived in a state with 24-hour drive-in liquor stores! They have those, right?

    • Biff

      Yep, right here in NV

    • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

      Where do you live? I know some people…

  • coolhandnuke

    Sixth round fight analysis: Biden landing punches squarely to Ryans smug mug. Ryan flailing with haymakers and and the below the belter. Biden has clearly won every round.
    Now knock hin out Joe–finish him.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      'Bama said knock you out!!

  • Negropolis

    I love how Joe is controlling the tempo of the debate. When he sped up, Martha sped up. When he slowed down, Martha slowed down.

    That's right, Joe, lift us for take off and then bring us down gently.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Speaking for myself (Chet), I would tell this young man who has served our country that politics is no different than war, and the stakes are high. Respectfully, suck it up.

    • miss_grundy

      I would tell him that Bamz and Biden honor his commitment to his country and have his back if he winds up being injured. Because Rmoney and LyinRyan could care less what happens to him. After all, soldiers are part of the 47% who are mooching off the government. I'm sure Rmoney would expect you to serve your country for free.

      • tessiee

        Didn't President Obama just propose a bill increasing veterans' benefits that got voted down by the Rs?

    • Iam_Who_Iam

      I think that might be the best quote of the night.

  • Callyson

    My dogs, who were sleeping, are coming up on my lap and kissing me. I think they are as happy as I am that Biden kicked ass…

    • IndianaKevin

      They can sense that kind of thing.

    • Lucidamente1

      Was Ryan dog-whistling?

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      The spirit of every Wonketteer has inhabited the bodies of your dogs. That's all.

  • chascates

    Oh, Eddie Haskell, you rascal!!

  • bibliotequetress

    Junior reeeaaallly trying to make up for no troops at the conventions. "First, I'd thank him for serving our country" oh blow me

  • ElPinche

    JOE WON.

    HAHAHA…Glenn "Pig Eyes" Beck calls Uncle Joe a bully:
    http://twitter.com/glennbeck/status/2565730594467

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Paint your opponent as someone to run from. Paint him with black paint. Black, Kenyan, Muslim paint.

  • Serfville

    Pulling numbers out of the sky and from up his ass, just like used car salesman Mittens!

  • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

    Wait what the fuck? Did we get on to closing statements when I wasn't paying attention?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Geeze, Paul — do you have to go with the bumper-sticker closing answer? You're not scoring, jackass, you just sound like a cheap midmarket AM radio talk show host.

  • Callyson

    Ryan is throwing out everything and the kitchen sink with this rambling about health care and the deficit. He knows he fucked up…

  • Schmannnity

    Ryan. you callow prick. Asked about troops, you talk about medicare and deficit. PUSSSSSSSSSSSSSY!

  • under_score

    Uh, Ryan is answering this question, not so much. He had a closing statement prepared, and that's that.

    • AbandonHope_

      Which means he fucked up — again — because it now guarantees that Joe Biden gets the last word.

  • Veritas78

    Smirky punk is still smirking. No one wants to hear this guy for four years.

    • mille derps

      He's awful- and yet Romney is even worse.

  • Serfville

    PS: What the fuck is your plan??????????????

  • chascates

    You said you couldn't explain the math, turd head!

  • VinnyThePooh

    How do Repugnants show remorse for mudslinging? More mudslinging.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Oh, Joe, you forgot to THANK the vet.

    Every soldier I talk to says they're getting sick of that.

  • MegPasadena

    Now Ryan just blames Obama for blaming them. The irony.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Oh, and get a fuckin' razor, dumbass.

  • chascates

    No, I want minutes!

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    Oh, Joe, you forgot to THANK the vet.

  • Wadisay

    I wish Joe would remind us that Ryan was at the Party of No inauguration dinner.

  • redarmyzombie

    God, Ryan sounds like a failed used car dealer.

  • snowpointsecret

    "That's what we get, speeches." Ryan says while basically delivering a speech.

  • superdave

    What in the hell is Ryan talking about? It sure has nothing to do with what Martha asked about.

  • Serfville

    The Eviscerating Scowl!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Tissues? Must make a note…

    • Boojum

      You're a sock man, I take it?

  • Veritas78

    "Proven track record of bipartisanship?" Really?

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    ok this tool's fucking talking points make me want to kick him in the balls.

    can i?

    • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

      You can kick one ball. I want the other one. That is, if we can find them.

    • JohnnyQuick

      Work the speed bag.

    • ibwilliamsi

      His balls are all shriveled up from the 'roids.

    • Biff

      Stand in line.

    • tessiee

      You can, and you may.

  • Callyson

    WTF do all of these attacks that Ryan is making on Obama and how he has supposedly broken all of his promises have to do with the question, which was (ironically enough) about the negative tone of this campaign?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "Obama broke his promise to bring people together!" Joe's too winded at this point to laugh in his face.

  • MegPasadena

    Now the stale talking point about the speeches.

  • IndianaKevin

    I just love it when Republicans espouse bipartisanship!

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    BIDEN!!!

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Are you virtually clawing his back?

  • Beowoof

    Oh yeah Joe Biden taking him to school on the debt and taxes.

  • chascates

    What kind of tree would you be?

    • Serfville

      The Whomping Willow from Harry Potter

  • Callyson

    The moderator sounds pissed at Ryan. I know how she feels.

  • http://www.southsidejohnny.com/ Jukesgrrl

    What does this crap he's spouting have to do with the question?

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    "If you were a tree what kind of tree would you be"

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    I'll tell you what I can do to this country, as a man…,

  • AbandonHope_

    HONESTY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gasp* HAHAHAHAHAHA

  • Serfville

    I will ask again what the fuck is your solution?????????

  • Veritas78

    That is one evil little shit.

  • Close_Read

    I bet Eddy wishes he wore his long pants.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    Ryan says he can give us HONESTY. Also too offering solutions.

  • nirrti_rachelle

    I just can't believe Ryan's pants didn't spontaneously combust into flames with all that lying he just did.

  • http://my.execpc.com/~artkm/rabbit_hole.html MilwaukeeKent

    Please, Ryan is going to criticize Joe and Barry for lacking specifics? Good grief, this from the "I can't go into the math right now — it's too complicated for You People" people.

  • under_score

    Honesty??? Is how Ryan described himself?? OMFG you have got to be kidding

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    Paul Ryan sounds like Sarah Palin's idea of what Sarah Palin sounds like.

    • StillGoinGreen

      I only have one thumb to up you, but know ye this, in my mind, I will up thumb you ad infinitum!!

  • sudsmckenzie

    Time! Drink!!

  • Callyson

    Working with Democrats

    Really? When did you Reeps try that? Certainly not since January 2009, asshole…

    • AbandonHope_

      I know, where the fuck did all this "working with Democrats" shit come from? We've seen nothing since 2008 but (virtual) filibusters.

  • Biff

    "He gets 40, I get 15?"
    BOOM!

  • chascates

    I had 5 seconds before you interuppeted me."

  • Veritas78

    Thank you, Joe Biden, for all you have done and keep trying to do for us.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      I also.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Never saying anything you don't mean may be my favorite thing in life. I love you OHJoe MORE THAN EVER!

  • Callyson

    I want to thank you, Martha, for doing this…

    …and for putting up with that asshole Ryan…

  • StillGoinGreen

    Ass kickin – check!

    get the campaign back on track – check!

    Drop a "Scranton in the HOUSE!!" – CHECK!

    *Has a beer*

  • snowpointsecret

    The Republicans are 4-0 in coin tosses this election, but only 1-1 in debates. I'll take it.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    we so won tonight.

    also thank you martha and not at all little lord ryan.

  • gullywompr

    Yes Joe, we detected your "frustration"….

    • commiegirl99

      By which Joe meant his FUCKING STROKE? Good lord, I got one as a contact high!

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    I would like to thank Vice President Biden for running circles around the pipsqueak who thinks he's an athlete.

  • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Rants

    "Scranton"! DRINK!

  • Pat_Pending

    SCRANTON!!!!

  • Zango Crudmonger

    I sell more weed on debate nights….. HOPE|DOPE 2012

  • Serfville

    Don't fuck with Scranton or Mom & Dad lil shit!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Biden thanked Martha. She's clearly in the tank. Expose in the Daily Caller tomorrow. Did she walk in on Obama having gay sex with her first husband at her wedding?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Uncle Joe, twistin' the knife of the 30 and 47%!!

  • LePiston

    Paul Ryan is the new Sarah Palin. In 3.5 years, he will be the new Goddess Bunny. (thx DListed)

    • MegPasadena

      Book deal and reality TV?

  • chascates

    You oldz, you poorz, we get it.

    I Hope!!!

  • memzilla

    Look at the Ryan sad-face as Joe brings up what Ryan can't deny was said!

  • BarryOPotter

    Don't talk about Joe's mama! He cut choo, magn…

  • Callyson

    He's talking about my mother and father…my neighbors…

    Go Joe!

    Go ahead, Ryan, tell us in what context your and Mittens' contempt for half of America is acceptable…

  • SkinnyNerd

    This should not end yet, let us get another hour of Joe.

  • Serfville

    Tax & Spend drink!

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    It's been an honor to have my ass handed to me.

    • AbandonHope_

      Or to quote my wife, "Thank you, Mr. Biden, may I have another?"

    • Gleem McShineys

      Man that moment where Ryan complimented him soo sleazily, you could just read Ol Joe's expression: "You know and I know, you don't mean one single word of that fake-ass compliment that just came out of your mouth."

  • AlterNewt

    How did this decent man survive all these years in this ugly business?

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      By taking the train home every night.

      • AlterNewt

        Perfect.

  • Bramlet Abercrombie

    "Honey, it's going to be OK." swoon + drool/VOTE!

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Is Ryan Crying?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Oh don't try to seduce the camera, Paulie, you're givin' me the fuckin' heebie-jeebies!!

  • chascates

    There's never been a 'Recovery' like this one! Or what caused it!

  • redarmyzombie

    Liar.
    Liar.
    Liar.
    Liar.
    Why don't you try telling the fucking truth for a change, you fucking shit-sucker.

    • Zango Crudmonger

      I find this comment easy to lie about.

  • Biff

    So what the fuck DOES a real recovery look like, shithead?

    • BerkeleyBear

      Well artifcial recoveries to artificial short, sharp recessions tend to look like a V on a Powerpoint Slide. Like the manipulated interest rate bullshit of Reagan, or the tech bubble under Clinton. But a fucking systemic world wide near collapse that is barely staved off and where all efforts at persistent government assistance are thwarted? No one knows what that looks like, although the L of the years 1929-37 (when the Supreme Court finally got out of the way and the war planning kicked in) is probably the closest model and looks a lot like what we have.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Romney will create jobs in China!