oh to be on bandini mountain

Sorry, Ohio Dems, But Pile Of Manure Dumped At Your Headquarters Is Sort Of Completely Hilarious

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can you believe the bandini mountain commercial is nowhere to be found on the internet?What is WRONG with your Wonkette? Why do we think it’s sort of hilarious that a Dem office in Warren County, Ohio, was manure-bombed with a truckload of horseshit? We guess it just seems sort of whimsical and “straight-talkin'” both at the same time? It’s certainly preferable to window-breakings and gunshots and firebombings and murder! We guess it’s because we love any sort of vandalism that just results in work for people instead of actual damage. (To this day we give it up to the neighbor who secretly affixed a coda to our John Kerry bumper sticker; in very neat, right-justified block lettering, it read “LOVE A GAY, ARE A GAY.” And they’d carefully affixed it with tape that would come off without scraping our paint!)

Probably the reason we find it hilarious is that we are a nine-year-old boy.


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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Boojum

    God. I want to have sex with a nine year old boy. What is wrong with me?

    Edit: Sorry, Editrix, but I could not pass up this opportunity.

    • Shypixel

      Apparently, you aren't the only one…

      • Boojum

        And I'm not even a Republican, nor elected to office!

        • JudasPeckerwood

          Have you considered the priesthood?

          • Boojum

            Only for target practice. Does that count?

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Or assistant head coach at Penn State?

          • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

            Or coaching?

          • Lot_49

            Shouldn't they all be called "Sandusky" now?

            As in: "Washington Redskins head sandusky Mike Shanahan rejected suggestions that he put rookie quarterback Robert Griffin III in a starting role before he was ready…"

  • nounverb911

    Someone's going to have some big tomatoes next year.

    • Boojum

      Somebody has some big tomatoes now if you know what I mean and I think you do.

  • el_donaldo

    To be true, dealing with truckloads of horseshit left by the opposition is pretty much status quo for the Democrats. Ba-dump-chsss. Thank you, and tip your waitress.

    • gullywompr

      I wish you were joking.

    • StillGoinGreen

      I don't have to think of anything funny to say – all I have to do is wait for at least 5 comments to be made on any topic and all of my thoughts are taken care of. THANK GOD FOR WONKETTE!! Living in Texas, I am a sad little beacon of blue in a sea of mouth-breathing RED!!

      • Boojum

        Hello, sad little beacon. Stay strong, for freedom.

      • emmelemm

        Yes, stay strong, little blue beacon. Or, little green vibrator, if you will.

      • MosesInvests

        Come to Austin, then. Sure, it's *in* Texas, but there are some sane white people in Travis County.

    • Blueb4sinrise


      Also, stealing it. The comeback, not teh poop.

  • Shypixel

    I get it! Whoever did it was making a statement about how the Democratic Party is full of horseshit!

    Brilliant wit! Such Genius!

    • Boojum

      I like el-donaldo's interpretation, that the Republicans dump shit and the Democrats have to clean it up, WITH VOTES!

    • mrpuma2u

      No, they are saying the Democratic party is very powerful at promoting growth, and enriching the fabric of the United States.

  • Baconzgood

    That's a load of shit.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Our work ethic around here is "Take chicken shit, make chicken salad." Don't know if that translates to horseshit.

    • coolhandnuke

      hors d'oeuvres

    • Lot_49

      Have to decline your kind invitation for lunch next week.

  • Indiepalin

    How'd you guys find my backyard?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      We followed our noses.

    • mrpuma2u

      Then we looked for the derelict appliances out in the yard

  • asterixaverni

    “Money is like manure; it's not worth a thing unless it's spread around encouraging young things to grow.” Thornton Wilder

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Goldenfield says no one has claimed responsibility for the prank."

    Rafalca is number one on my list of suspects.

    • mille derps

      If the manure smells like French perfume, she's the most likely culprit…

  • Shypixel

    So to retaliate, do we dump a load of hate, racism, and superstition in front of the Republican office?

    Where does one even find a truckload of hate and racism?

    • Boojum

      Go to your local Republican field office and ask around.

      • OneDollarJuana

        Start with Georgia. Continue South.

    • MacRaith

      God, do you want a list? South Carolina. Idaho. Arizona. Central Pennsylvania. South side of Boston. Mississippi. Dick Cheney's undisclosed location. Arkansas. Wasilla, Alaska. FOX News headquarters. Most of Texas. Your mileage may vary.

    • mille derps

      Ummm- they're in Ohio, right?

    • Redgyal

      You're in the US, those are our three biggest exports.

    • rmjagg


  • gullywompr

    Shit just got real.

    • Shypixel

      I see what you did there!

    • el_donaldo

      Throw an abacus on top, and you can say, "Shit just got complicated."

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_


    • Esteev

      I smell what you did there!

  • zumpie

    What, no flaming bags? Amateurs

  • Pithaughn

    when life gives you horse manure, compost. Srsly, load it up and donate it to a community garden project. publicize the hell about your commitment to true blue community values.
    Shorter version, rub it in their faces!!

    • ShreditorsDesk

      For those who don't know, horse poo takes about 2 years to break down thoroughly.

    • evodevo1

      All you have to do is publicize it – believe me gardeners from all over will be there in a NY minute to cart it away – that stuff is the best !! Horse poop is far superior to cow or chicken poop – doesn't "burn" the plants; has lots of undigested fiber for great soil conditioning. The tomato growers best friend. Mushroom farms love it too.

    • Cleos_Mom

      I live in a rural area of a Red state and anyone who's in a snit and wants to vent by dumping a load of manure is welcome to do it at our place. I'll sell the produce at the Farmers Market next summer and donate a percentage to PFLAG.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    That must have been one fucking big horse!

    On the bright side, at least he didn't eat a bean burrito.

    • Shypixel

      No. It was a republican horse, so obviously practices the Abstinence Only method. This was not a fucking horse, it was an abstinent horse.

      Still not sure how it got pregnant, nor why it drove to the city and came back not pregnant. The horse God works in mysterious Neighs!

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212


      • Cleos_Mom

        But was it a *dancing* horse?

    • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

      It's a big fucking deal (of shit).

    • kittensdontlie

      Yea, that's a shit-ton of horse manure.

    • ShreditorsDesk

      It was a magic unicorn.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Volunteers at the Warren County Democratic headquarters would be well advised not to stomp out any unidentified flaming shopping bags they find on their front porch.

  • Allmighty_Manos

    Finding a truckload of assholes to dump at the GOP office might be more difficult.

  • SmutBoffin

    Free fertilizer! Let's consider it a campaign donation to Barry from the local Repubs.

  • SexySmurf

    On closer inspection the giant pile of horse shit turned out to be Rep. Jean Schmidt.

    • rmjagg

      sans makeup .

  • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

    But seriously, though, OH Dems need to get their shit together.

    • ThundercatHo

      You're kidding right? Obama has around 90 field offices in the state with loads of interns and volunteers working at least 12 hrs/day. I don't know what it's like in the more democratic areas but out here in Cornholeistan it ain't easy. Last weekend we went canvassing and it was like Deliverance. I've been at 2 campaign offices and everything seems very organized and positive. They also have a fab get out the vote plan. It's not the Ohio democrats fault that most of the population is about as smart as that pile of shit.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    rimshot for sure.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Obviously, this is not to be taken literally. The Warren County Democratic headquarters symbolizes the United States of America, and the horseshit… Republicans… oh, you can figure it out for yourselves, you've all got college degrees.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Is that a photo of Lou Sarah's diet book galleys?

  • Eve8Apples

    If anyone is looking for Romney's plan to cut federal spending, raise federal revenue and balance the federal budget, I found it at the Democratic office in Warren County, Ohio.

  • Oblios_Cap

    someone dumped a pile of horse manure in the parking lot of the headquarters building …, just north of Lebanon.

    Isn't that in Syria? It must be the Turks that done it.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    if OH dems have any sense of humor, they will make a totally kick ass (pun intended) ad out of this.

    2012 has been sorely lacking in 'demon sheep'.

  • kittensdontlie

    Shit happens…

  • hagajim

    They must have made a wrong turn in Albuquerque. That should have ended up at Romney HQ.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Guess they didn't want to go full McVeigh.

    • el_donaldo

      Probably stood there a while throwing matches at it and wondering why it didn't explode.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        I guess McVeigh believed in science.

    • Pragmatist2

      With all due respect to my Wonkette colleagues, that may be too subtle.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        "We're smart!! We get stuff!!"

    • BornInATrailer

      That was very well played, sir.

  • coolhandnuke

    Drive-by shittings are fairly common in the heartland.

    • rmjagg

      on the bright side , they didn't have slingshots to load it on

  • Radiotherapy

    Rifalca has been busy since getting back from the Olympics.

  • ednamillion22

    Maybe it was Rafalca shit?

  • Toomush_Infer

    Hey! This is the only good joke Republicans have made all year, and it's a big steaming one…

    • Boojum

      But, however, not the only time they have thrown a steaming pile of shit for Democrats to clean up.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    more horseshit republican talking points.

  • barto

    The proper response is of course chicken-shit.

  • Blunderthing

    Oh and aren't they ever so clever in the comments section: "If Ovamit had a son this is what it would look like." That's certainly not racial transcendence.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    The Ohio Republicans were just retaliating — yesterday somebody left a math and a science book at their party headquarters and they felt so insulted they just lashed out at the most likely suspect. Turns out a campaign worker's kid was doing his homework, so they both got a stern warning.

  • BornInATrailer

    I agree, legitimately hilarious.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Yeah, that's some funny shit right there.

  • Not_So_Much

    Vote! It's your doody.

  • PuckStopsHere

    This is the GOP's idea of the ideal public works project.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Read the comments on the CBS site if you get tired of laughing.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I call bullshit!


  • BaldarTFlagass

    At least it wasn't a horse head.

  • MonkeyMotion

    Interesting. The GOP's been dumping that stuff on the whole country for 30+ years.

  • coolhandnuke

    Finally a movement the GOP can get behind.

    • rmjagg

      they have embraced it and made passionate love to it

  • Callyson

    The building does have security cameras

    Here's hoping the fuckers who pulled this juvenile stunt didn't think of wearing the OWS masks…

    the building landlord cleaned up the mess, and the party will not have to pay for the cleanup

    I've been saying that we all need to do our part to help the party, but talk about going beyond the call of duty…

    • Native_of_SL_UT

      Typical GOP.
      They try to block the Democrats with their shit, they end up giving the shitty end of the deal to the small business owner.

  • OneYieldRegular

    How is this news? I mean, it's not as though Republicans have much of anything else to offer.

  • SmutBoffin

    What will the Dems do to retaliate? Bucket of water balanced over the entrance to the Republican campaign HQ?

    • LibertyLover

      Gluing a dollar bill to the sidewalk in front of their HQ. They won't bend over for a quarter.

    • CommieLibunatic

      Sounds appropriately impotent of them, yeah.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    They did this on The Sopranos once, but with garbage. Points off for lack of originality.

  • prommie

    I know another nine-year old boy who is trapped in a fucking, well, in a suprising package.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Most Wonkette women seem to have 9-year-old boys in 'em. Wait, that didn't come out right…

      • Boojum

        I certainly hope not.

      • prommie

        We should make that 13 years old, at least, anyway.

  • StillGoinGreen

    What, no flaming paper sack? Amateurs…

  • Esteev

    And here I thought the GOP platform was crap.

  • Generation[redacted]


  • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

    At least horses are vegetarians. The smell of horseshit always reminds me of the country (not necessarily our, any non-urban environment that might have horses)

  • GeorgiaBurning

    Pretty good Breitbart costume, actually

  • JackDempsey1

    "Probably the reason we find it hilarious is that we are a nine-year-old boy."

    As the parent of a 9-year-old boy, I can definitively tell you that he is profoundly uninterested and unamused by this prank, unless the pile of manure came directly out of the butt of SuperMario, or perhaps Donkey Kong.

    • SpeedoFart

      Kids still play Donkey Kong??

      • JackDempsey1

        The original Donkey Kong game is kaput.
        However, there have been spin-off games (Donkey Kong Country).

        Most of this was covered in the presidential debates. Out getting a sandwich?

        • SpeedoFart

          Well, now I feel old. I slept through the last presidential debate AND I didn't realize that Donkey Kong is still a thing.

          My suspicions that I didn't miss much have been confirmed, though.

  • TootsStansbury

    That was no horse, it was Chris Christie.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Intense Debate let me in again, after days, when I hit reload repeatedly. Wonderful if I can possibly get here tonight. I hate Intense Debate.

  • Pat_Pending

    I suspect Rafalca was involved in this…

  • midnighttoker69

    Warren County is the home district of the lovable Rep. Boner himself, so it's no surprise the Republicans in that area have lots of extra horseshit to dispense.

    Correction … Warren county is adjacent to Boner's district. I wonder if they spent our tax dollars transporting it … I call for an investigation.

  • upthruster

    Clearly this was harvested from Mount Bullshit!

  • Gleem McShineys

    How can you tell the difference between a horse's ass and a Republican, again?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    The opposition has an unlimited supply after all.

  • CommieLibunatic

    And you can bet the GOP would do an acrobatic pirouette off the handle if anything half as bad happened to one of their offices. Goddamned crybabies, but that's the case with any wannabe despot.

  • http://strangestoriesaboutsadpeople.blogspot.com/ Thedongsofwar

    Poop! Lol!

  • snowpointsecret

    I saw this on the local news and thought "Yep, Wonkette's going to cover this at some point." I'm glad I was right.

    Though it is mandatory to make the joke that the idea of dumping manure at a rival headquarters is full of shit.

  • finallyhappy

    well, I understand they are in the country(isn't everywhere between the east coast and the west coast just country?) so it is not a good thing. However, one year for Mother's Day, my husband went to one of the riding stables(it's not like people just have horses around here- that is the rich part of Montgomery County or the redneck part of Montgomery County- both somewhat north of me) and dug quite a few pounds of rotted horse poop for my compost heap. It was a wonderful gift.

  • MinAgain

    Well, now. I guess we know who's going to win the poopular vote in the next election.

  • DahBoner

    When Life gives you a load of manure, make compost tea for your SUPERCROP…

  • http://www.acepilots.com/wwi/can_bishop.html WABishop

    There's got to be a pony in there somewhere!