i'm hungry

Of Course We Will Be Live-Blogging The One Millionth Scott Brown-Elizabeth Warren Massachusetts Senate Debate

You know, in case Senator Staple-Crotch* decides to go Full Custer. (YOU NEVER GO FULL CUSTER!)

So we will be here a few minutes before 7 p.m. Eastern time. You can watch the debate on C-Span! Now to the important question: who is going to bring mama more beer, more cigarettes, and some cheese for a grilled cheese? Also, who wants to make her a grilled cheese?

*Origins lost to the mists of time.

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • SnarkOff

    For heaven's sake, when are those two going to stop arguing and realize what the rest of us see plain as day: That they're crazy in love with each other?

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Elizabeth Warren slowly removed her glasses. 'Why, Miss Warren," Brown murmured huskily, 'You're beautiful!"

    • sudsmckenzie

      "I love that you get cold when Credit Card rates go above 18%. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order your glasses. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're calling me on my tea party bullshit."

    • BadKitty904

      Those crazy kids!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      He's just got a thing for tiny, intellectual, middle-aged pixies. This is probably the only place where Scotty & I see eye-to-eye.

    • kittensdontlie

      Every time he says 'Professor', he gets hard.

  • Beowoof

    Oh shit pick up boy cowboy wannabe Scott Brown is going to be picking on Elizabeth Warren again. Watch it paleface, it doesn't matter how much wampum you have, I still think she going to kick your Liberace looking pink hot pant wearing butt all the way to the Berkshires.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Senator Staple-Crotch* decides to go Full Custer

    Not Brownie's usual Full Clusterfuck?

  • JackObin

    How the hell did Massachusetts ever elect that mormon ding-a-ling governor? Were they all drunk that night? Maybe they aren't so smart after all.

    • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

      Who is that lady in your picture?

      • Mittens Howell, III

        We're waiting.

      • JackObin

        She's the Pope's daughter.

  • memzilla

    Since we're all commie libtard soshlust muslins here, please make sure to use Gummint Cheese for 47% of your sammich. Union rules, ya know.

  • snowpointsecret

    I wish the liberal parts of my state were as liberal as the conservative parts of Massachusetts… Yes, I'm a little jealous right now, even if I do have at least one good senator. (Hi Sherrod Brown, having fun endlessly being ahead of Josh Mandel?)

  • PhilippePetain

    Is this the one where Scott brown holds up a picture of her buying a headdress?

  • Schmannnity

    Mongo and Scott Brown are mere pawns in the game of life. RIP.

    • BadKitty904

      Except "huh-huh, naw, Mongo straight…"

  • Schmannnity

    Need to lay in more firewater for the debate.

  • commiegirl99

    No seriously, fuckers, who is gonna come over with cigarettes and grilled cheese?

    • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

      I can make you a Muffuletta. How about that?

      • punkneverdies

        Muffuletta for a lotta muffa

    • Callyson

      I'll barely have enough time to watch this and then head off to class. I'll take a raincheck though…

    • HouseOfTheBlueLights

      Well, I was going to make chocolate chip cookies (mine have a, um special ingredient), but if you'd rather have grilled cheese FINE.

    • Crank_Tango

      Ed, I will grill your cheese any time.

      • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

        This might be the most awesome thing I ever 'heard' coming from Don Knotts' head.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      Can't. Fighting off a cold or a sinus infection or some shit. I volunteer to come hold you and Benincasa's hair back during and after the VP debate tomorrow, though.

    • Boojum

      Let's see…it's 6:30 in Atlanta…so, a flight takes 7 hours, minus the time change…carry the one…me?

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      We'll save you a seat at the Latona. Their tomato bisque & grilled cheese is outstanding!

      • emmelemm

        Absolutely wonderful!

    • Boojum

      Your Wonkette researcher has your answer to the origin of Senator Stapledick: FlownOver, from here.

    • BadKitty904

      Hmmm. I've got a box of my bf's cigars and a bowl of pimento cheese (with pecans!) I made yesterday. Will that work?

      • BadKitty904

        Dang. I think that's the queerest line I've ever typed online. Which is saying something.

        • punkneverdies

          Yeah, is "boyfriend's cigars" a euphemism for something?

          • BadKitty904

            For once, no.

    • PhilippePetain

      CIgarette ashes + grilled cheese = extra authentic greasy spoon seasoning.

  • WhatTheHeck

    If a republican governor speaks with forked tongue, does that mean he’s a cunning linguist?

    Probably not, eh.

  • C_R_Eature

    This liveblog clearly needs Moar CEPHALOPODS, in honor of Cephalopod AwarenessDays

    • Geminisunmars

      How cuttlesome!

    • Radiotherapy

      Starts at tentacle.

      • C_R_Eature

        Cephalopods Ate My Buick.

        • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

          They're known to attack in groups. But limit themselves to one carapace.

          • C_R_Eature

            I only regret that I have but One Upfist to give for this comment.

          • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

            "Jesus Built My Arthroprod!" — Homeschooled science student

          • C_R_Eature

            "The Earth's 9000 years old and if you don't believe it you're goin' to Hell!" –Rep. Broun, Congressional Science, Space & Technology Committee

            Wait…that's not funny.

    • BadKitty904

      They're full of squidly goodness! Look for the sucker-marks which mean FRESHNESS!

    • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

      "We want a weaker
      Ten-appendaged belly-beak-er!" — whale bait

      • C_R_Eature

        "Ten silver flatfish,
        a bass in the bow
        The Sailor relaxes
        and waits between scows
        for his Cephalopod Girl"

  • nounverb911

    Rest in peace, Mongo.
    Alex Karras

  • majicunderwear

    This should be fun,watching Scottie try and do his best Southie imitation, he has tried to become real the blue collar candidate. He'll be tryin wicked haad to show up the professah

  • Texan_Bulldog

    Fuck it! We'll do it live! (Sorry, that will just never get old.)

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Can we get Julia Gillard to come and debate these fuckers?

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Fuck yeah!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    WTF! I can't believe Scott Brown said that shit.

    Just practicing.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    I hope Scott Brown Obamas it.

    • nounverb911

      Does Obamaing mean born in Kenya?

      • Mittens Howell, III

        No, it means sad trombone.

  • Detesticle

    Scott Brown ruined him image by being mean to Elizabeth Warren.
    And yet, everyone wants Barry to ruin his image by being mean to Romney.
    … I can't find the punchline. Maybe it's just that Scott Brown ain't brown.

  • sudsmckenzie

    Will his daughters be there?

    • Mittens Howell, III

      Every time Scott Brown mentions the word 'Wigwam' I'm gonna marry one of his daughters.

  • Callyson

    David Corn is on C-Span now for anyone with the time to check that out.

  • Radiotherapy

    WooHoo!

  • cheetojeebus

    Can we just skip to the full warpath crotch punch? Go Lizzie!

  • Mittens Howell, III

    Will David Gregory be moderating again, or is his dance card full?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdvHwtRdg_I

  • C_R_Eature

    Vote Elizabeth Warren, Massachusetts. Get some Sweet Revenge.

    (Happy Birthday, John Prine.)

  • C_R_Eature

    Professor Warren! DRINK!!

    Brown, you Ignorant Slut.

  • C_R_Eature

    Brown was at Mulatto's for lunch? Aren't there laws against Those People?

  • ednamillion22

    I'm a Massachusettsite and a die-hard Lizzie W believer, but I just cannot bring myself to turn on my TV.

    I adore La Warren, but Mr. September makes my blood boil, and I don't need that kind of dent in my evening. I'd rather hang out here with all of you snarky lovelies and hear about it secondhand…

  • C_R_Eature

    Scott Brown is a Dorftrottel

  • C_R_Eature

    Gee, you think Frank Luntz's Focus Group was asked about Raising Taxes a few times?

  • C_R_Eature

    Luntz's Focus Group's dials spiked Bipartisan, also too.

  • C_R_Eature

    Scott Brown = Arschloch.

    • Radiotherapy

      Fucking hilarious, There is a George Allen picture on that page.
      Macaca.
      And also too, Poop Chute is a synonym.

      • C_R_Eature

        It's one of my favorites, because there are so many iterations and multiple opportunities for abuse.

        And Fuck, the real liveblog is Not here, I see. I've pretty much been posting to myself again.

        • Radiotherapy

          Best liveblog evah!

          • C_R_Eature

            OK, now that's funny.

    • MosesInvests

      I love cursing in German-no matter what you say, it sounds like a curse.

      • C_R_Eature

        Doesn't it though? And the Curses and extra-Cursey sounding.

        • shelwood46

          Back in college, I spent a couple of weeks as a production assistant for Mummenschanz. Being Swiss, they were all fluent in German, French, Italian and English. Among themselves, they would use French for polite discussion, Italian for social chats, German for arguments, and English for swearing (except "Merd". They liked to say merd.). They'd have conversations where they'd switch between all four languages, which amused me. But, yeah, they swore in English because they liked our swear words best.

      • Radiotherapy

        You know who else liked to curse auf Deutsch.

  • C_R_Eature

    I think David Gregory should be strapped into a Clockwork Orange Viddy device and made to watch just how a real Moderator operates.

    • Veritas78

      It would take too long to unstrap him from what he's in already.

      • C_R_Eature

        Well, I'll have a go at it. Just sharpened my axe.

  • MosesInvests

    Zei nicht a meshuggener!

  • DahBoner

    You have a need for cheese.

  • ttommyunger

    Scott shore has a purty mouth, but some ugly shit sure comes out of it.