I'M HUNGRY  6:00 pm October 10, 2012

Of Course We Will Be Live-Blogging The One Millionth Scott Brown-Elizabeth Warren Massachusetts Senate Debate

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

You know, in case Senator Staple-Crotch* decides to go Full Custer. (YOU NEVER GO FULL CUSTER!)

So we will be here a few minutes before 7 p.m. Eastern time. You can watch the debate on C-Span! Now to the important question: who is going to bring mama more beer, more cigarettes, and some cheese for a grilled cheese? Also, who wants to make her a grilled cheese?

*Origins lost to the mists of time.

 
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Hola wonkerados.

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{ 88 comments }

SnarkOff October 10, 2012 at 6:02 pm

For heaven's sake, when are those two going to stop arguing and realize what the rest of us see plain as day: That they're crazy in love with each other?

Dr_Zoidberg October 10, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Elizabeth Warren slowly removed her glasses. 'Why, Miss Warren," Brown murmured huskily, 'You're beautiful!"

sudsmckenzie October 10, 2012 at 6:23 pm

"I love that you get cold when Credit Card rates go above 18%. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order your glasses. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're calling me on my tea party bullshit."

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Those crazy kids!

Lascauxcaveman October 10, 2012 at 7:08 pm

He's just got a thing for tiny, intellectual, middle-aged pixies. This is probably the only place where Scotty & I see eye-to-eye.

kittensdontlie October 10, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Every time he says 'Professor', he gets hard.

Beowoof October 10, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Oh shit pick up boy cowboy wannabe Scott Brown is going to be picking on Elizabeth Warren again. Watch it paleface, it doesn't matter how much wampum you have, I still think she going to kick your Liberace looking pink hot pant wearing butt all the way to the Berkshires.

weejee October 10, 2012 at 6:03 pm

Senator Staple-Crotch* decides to go Full Custer

Not Brownie's usual Full Clusterfuck?

JackObin October 10, 2012 at 6:05 pm

How the hell did Massachusetts ever elect that mormon ding-a-ling governor? Were they all drunk that night? Maybe they aren't so smart after all.

DerrickWildcat October 10, 2012 at 6:08 pm

Who is that lady in your picture?

Mittens Howell, III October 10, 2012 at 6:30 pm

We're waiting.

JackObin October 10, 2012 at 7:30 pm

She's the Pope's daughter.

memzilla October 10, 2012 at 6:05 pm

Since we're all commie libtard soshlust muslins here, please make sure to use Gummint Cheese for 47% of your sammich. Union rules, ya know.

snowpointsecret October 10, 2012 at 6:07 pm

I wish the liberal parts of my state were as liberal as the conservative parts of Massachusetts… Yes, I'm a little jealous right now, even if I do have at least one good senator. (Hi Sherrod Brown, having fun endlessly being ahead of Josh Mandel?)

PhilippePetain October 10, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Is this the one where Scott brown holds up a picture of her buying a headdress?

weejee October 10, 2012 at 6:28 pm

From Chief Illiniwek no doubt.

Schmannnity October 10, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Mongo and Scott Brown are mere pawns in the game of life. RIP.

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 6:41 pm

Except "huh-huh, naw, Mongo straight…"

Schmannnity October 10, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Need to lay in more firewater for the debate.

commiegirl99 October 10, 2012 at 6:13 pm

No seriously, fuckers, who is gonna come over with cigarettes and grilled cheese?

MLHencken October 10, 2012 at 6:20 pm

I can make you a Muffuletta. How about that?

punkneverdies October 10, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Muffuletta for a lotta muffa

Callyson October 10, 2012 at 6:22 pm

I'll barely have enough time to watch this and then head off to class. I'll take a raincheck though…

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 10, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Well, I was going to make chocolate chip cookies (mine have a, um special ingredient), but if you'd rather have grilled cheese FINE.

Crank_Tango October 10, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Ed, I will grill your cheese any time.

Mumbletypeg October 10, 2012 at 7:08 pm

This might be the most awesome thing I ever 'heard' coming from Don Knotts' head.

imissopus October 10, 2012 at 6:31 pm

Can't. Fighting off a cold or a sinus infection or some shit. I volunteer to come hold you and Benincasa's hair back during and after the VP debate tomorrow, though.

Boojum October 10, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Let's see…it's 6:30 in Atlanta…so, a flight takes 7 hours, minus the time change…carry the one…me?

weejee October 10, 2012 at 6:32 pm

We'll save you a seat at the Latona. Their tomato bisque & grilled cheese is outstanding!

emmelemm October 10, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Absolutely wonderful!

Boojum October 10, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Your Wonkette researcher has your answer to the origin of Senator Stapledick: FlownOver, from here.

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Hmmm. I've got a box of my bf's cigars and a bowl of pimento cheese (with pecans!) I made yesterday. Will that work?

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Dang. I think that's the queerest line I've ever typed online. Which is saying something.

punkneverdies October 10, 2012 at 6:52 pm

Yeah, is "boyfriend's cigars" a euphemism for something?

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 6:53 pm

For once, no.

PhilippePetain October 10, 2012 at 6:54 pm

CIgarette ashes + grilled cheese = extra authentic greasy spoon seasoning.

WhatTheHeck October 10, 2012 at 6:15 pm

If a republican governor speaks with forked tongue, does that mean he’s a cunning linguist?

Probably not, eh.

C_R_Eature October 10, 2012 at 6:18 pm

This liveblog clearly needs Moar CEPHALOPODS, in honor of Cephalopod AwarenessDays

Geminisunmars October 10, 2012 at 6:33 pm

How cuttlesome!

Radiotherapy October 10, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Starts at tentacle.

C_R_Eature October 10, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Cephalopods Ate My Buick.

Mumbletypeg October 10, 2012 at 7:10 pm

They're known to attack in groups. But limit themselves to one carapace.

C_R_Eature October 10, 2012 at 7:21 pm

I only regret that I have but One Upfist to give for this comment.

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 6:45 pm

They're full of squidly goodness! Look for the sucker-marks which mean FRESHNESS!

Mumbletypeg October 10, 2012 at 7:28 pm

"We want a weaker
Ten-appendaged belly-beak-er!" — whale bait

C_R_Eature October 10, 2012 at 8:11 pm

"Ten silver flatfish,
a bass in the bow
The Sailor relaxes
and waits between scows
for his Cephalopod Girl"

nounverb911 October 10, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Rest in peace, Mongo.
Alex Karras

majicunderwear October 10, 2012 at 6:21 pm

This should be fun,watching Scottie try and do his best Southie imitation, he has tried to become real the blue collar candidate. He'll be tryin wicked haad to show up the professah

Texan_Bulldog October 10, 2012 at 6:22 pm

Fuck it! We'll do it live! (Sorry, that will just never get old.)

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 10, 2012 at 6:23 pm

Can we get Julia Gillard to come and debate these fuckers?

Mittens Howell, III October 10, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Fuck yeah!

Mittens Howell, III October 10, 2012 at 6:26 pm

WTF! I can't believe Scott Brown said that shit.

Just practicing.

Mittens Howell, III October 10, 2012 at 6:28 pm

I hope Scott Brown Obamas it.

nounverb911 October 10, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Does Obamaing mean born in Kenya?

Mittens Howell, III October 10, 2012 at 6:40 pm

No, it means sad trombone.

Detesticle October 10, 2012 at 6:33 pm

Scott Brown ruined him image by being mean to Elizabeth Warren.
And yet, everyone wants Barry to ruin his image by being mean to Romney.
… I can't find the punchline. Maybe it's just that Scott Brown ain't brown.

Mittens Howell, III October 10, 2012 at 6:55 pm

'Susquehanna hat company'

There's your punchline:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THZV5g1CNZM

sudsmckenzie October 10, 2012 at 6:35 pm

Will his daughters be there?

Mittens Howell, III October 10, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Every time Scott Brown mentions the word 'Wigwam' I'm gonna marry one of his daughters.

Callyson October 10, 2012 at 6:43 pm

David Corn is on C-Span now for anyone with the time to check that out.

Radiotherapy October 10, 2012 at 6:43 pm

WooHoo!

cheetojeebus October 10, 2012 at 6:47 pm

Can we just skip to the full warpath crotch punch? Go Lizzie!

Mittens Howell, III October 10, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Will David Gregory be moderating again, or is his dance card full?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdvHwtRdg_I

ednamillion22 October 10, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Yes. It's definitely full. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9n37gZ6ifQ

C_R_Eature October 10, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Vote Elizabeth Warren, Massachusetts. Get some Sweet Revenge.

(Happy Birthday, John Prine.)

C_R_Eature October 10, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Professor Warren! DRINK!!

Brown, you Ignorant Slut.

C_R_Eature October 10, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Brown was at Mulatto's for lunch? Aren't there laws against Those People?

ednamillion22 October 10, 2012 at 7:10 pm

I'm a Massachusettsite and a die-hard Lizzie W believer, but I just cannot bring myself to turn on my TV.

I adore La Warren, but Mr. September makes my blood boil, and I don't need that kind of dent in my evening. I'd rather hang out here with all of you snarky lovelies and hear about it secondhand…

C_R_Eature October 10, 2012 at 7:17 pm

Scott Brown is a Dorftrottel

C_R_Eature October 10, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Gee, you think Frank Luntz's Focus Group was asked about Raising Taxes a few times?

C_R_Eature October 10, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Luntz's Focus Group's dials spiked Bipartisan, also too.

C_R_Eature October 10, 2012 at 7:41 pm

Scott Brown = Arschloch.

Radiotherapy October 10, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Fucking hilarious, There is a George Allen picture on that page.
Macaca.
And also too, Poop Chute is a synonym.

C_R_Eature October 10, 2012 at 8:18 pm

It's one of my favorites, because there are so many iterations and multiple opportunities for abuse.

And Fuck, the real liveblog is Not here, I see. I've pretty much been posting to myself again.

Radiotherapy October 10, 2012 at 9:25 pm

Best liveblog evah!

C_R_Eature October 11, 2012 at 5:09 am

OK, now that's funny.

MosesInvests October 10, 2012 at 8:40 pm

I love cursing in German-no matter what you say, it sounds like a curse.

C_R_Eature October 10, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Doesn't it though? And the Curses and extra-Cursey sounding.

shelwood46 October 11, 2012 at 1:18 am

Back in college, I spent a couple of weeks as a production assistant for Mummenschanz. Being Swiss, they were all fluent in German, French, Italian and English. Among themselves, they would use French for polite discussion, Italian for social chats, German for arguments, and English for swearing (except "Merd". They liked to say merd.). They'd have conversations where they'd switch between all four languages, which amused me. But, yeah, they swore in English because they liked our swear words best.

Radiotherapy October 10, 2012 at 9:26 pm

You know who else liked to curse auf Deutsch.

C_R_Eature October 10, 2012 at 7:45 pm

I think David Gregory should be strapped into a Clockwork Orange Viddy device and made to watch just how a real Moderator operates.

Veritas78 October 10, 2012 at 8:44 pm

It would take too long to unstrap him from what he's in already.

C_R_Eature October 10, 2012 at 8:59 pm

Well, I'll have a go at it. Just sharpened my axe.

MosesInvests October 10, 2012 at 8:43 pm

Zei nicht a meshuggener!

DahBoner October 11, 2012 at 8:17 am

You have a need for cheese.

ttommyunger October 11, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Scott shore has a purty mouth, but some ugly shit sure comes out of it.

Mumbletypeg October 10, 2012 at 7:27 pm

"Jesus Built My Arthroprod!" — Homeschooled science student

C_R_Eature October 10, 2012 at 7:38 pm

"The Earth's 9000 years old and if you don't believe it you're goin' to Hell!" –Rep. Broun, Congressional Science, Space & Technology Committee

Wait…that's not funny.

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