Oh Charlene Idelle Hunziker, 47, of Council Bluffs, Iowa, gurrrrl, don’t you ever change! First, a liquid lunch at PF Chang’s, where you harass all the customers about NOBAMA being a Muslin; second, embarrass your daughter so much that she leaves you down in Chinatown (or at least the West Des Moines version thereof); third, explain to the copper on call that you don’t need jailing, as that is for little people, like Democrats, and not fine upstanding Republicans like you; four, ?????; and five, PROFIT!
Officer Chris Morgan said in his report that when he arrived, Hunziker reportedly yelled at him and said he didn’t need to be there because “she was a Republican.”
Hunziker reportedly refused a sobriety test and admitted to having consumed alcohol, but insisted she was not drunk, according to the report.
A witness reportedly told Morgan that Hunziker was drunk and had been bothering other customers with her opinions about the previous night’s presidential debate, her support for Romney and her belief that “Obama had ruined this country and … Muslims were causing America all these problems.”
But all of those things are simple objective FACT! Why is the West Desmoines Gestapo jailing Charlene Hunziker for her Constitutional Right of Free Speech (drunkenly yelling about Muslins and refusing to leave someone else’s private property)??? Next thing you know, someone will put her in a gulag by criticizing her drunken race-baiting!
We for one would never do that.
En route to the police station, where she was booked before being transported to the Polk County Jail, Hunziker reportedly said that “she was doing this because she was a good mother.”
One good mother to another.
[WestDesMoinesPatch, via Fark]
{ 202 comments }
I would really like to see her birth certificate.
It's probably somewhere in that lake of P.F. Chunks.
Hell, I want to see her sobriety certificate, first.
As Joe Scarborough would say, "SWEET JESUS!"
My eyes!!! I can't even read the article until that picture goes away.
Possibly the most disturbing thing I have ever seen.
More plz!
Get my shrink on the line…
Seriously–I thought I (unwillingly) got a view of her vagina. Where the fuck did I put the eye bleach?
Even if we didn't see it, the thought that we might have….
AAAUUUGHHH
The possible hooha sighting is even worse than the apparent view of her drunken upchucking. Don't bogart that eye bleach, my friend – pass it over to me.
It's just the Palin Before picture.
One time when I'm really glad there was no side boob pic.
It don't get any more American than PF Chang's! USA! USA! USA!
I can't believe that cop didn't let her go.
I can't believe the cops didn't deck her as they seem wont to do, these days.
Jail is for Democrats…. Democratic politicians that is. And you can add GOP politicians and bankers to that list too.
Is it against the law nowadays to get drunk and show your ass?
Freedum, I weep for thee.
You can't arrest me! I'm
an Americana Republican!Wonder if she expected the Kock brothers to bail her out.
There's a Chinatown in Council Bluffs? Maybe that's where all the jobs are?
The PF Chang's in Council Bluffs is Chinatown.
And if it's like the one here in KC, it's ran by Messicans. (Honest.)
There's very little that's Chinese about that chain, least of all the food.
In Nebraska they call Council Bluffs Counciltucky Pot meet Kettle, pleased to meet you hope guessed my name
West Des Moines. (And no, there's not really.)
I keep hearing about this magical place called Iowa, where is it exactly?
Just a bit northeast of Jesusland.
Just off the Interstate if you get lost. (That's how Bill Bryson wound up there apparently.)
It's where my sister-in-law's racist, bigoted, alcoholic, douche-baggy, incredibly huge asshole of a husband lives.
IOW: This Mom of the Year is fairly typical in those parts … as is the smell of pigshit.
More likely it's meth.
No. Trust me. It's pigshit.
The farmer inside the 10,000 head confinement is probably doing the meth.
are you saying your brother is an asshole?
Hey no ragging on Iowa, it's not all bad. She is from the west, crazy douchey part by Nebraska. The eastern part is OK, it has the people's republic of Iowa City, and some elements of civilization.
Thank you. It takes us until 2 am until we start talking about how much a banker-lovin' plutocrat Obama is.
Iowa does have the nicest damn rest stops I've ever seen.
So +1 for that.
NEBRASKA LIBEL!
also huge cinnamon buns at the Machine Shed
You may have given my state a new slogan, "Our rest stops are number 1 when you it's time for Number 2."
Ohio Turnpike libel!
Have you patronised the fine establishments of Wyoming? My stars, for a state that is nothing but coyotes and Class A Kill Storms, they have spectacular rest stops.
Where the streets have no names and the folks have no brains
Somewhere west of Chicago. On our maps here in Michigan, Iowa is out in "there be dragons" territory before you hit the Rockies when everything comes back into view.
No, but seriously, I hear Des Moines is Iowa City, and the stuff along the Mississippi has a bit of history.
International Organization of Women Athletes?
That picture transported me directly into a new and dreadful world. Jesus.
It caused my retinas to itch and burn.
What has been seen can never be unseen.
–Not Confucius
You say "retinas" but I don't believe you.
Jesus H. Christ on a cracker – I'm eating here! Yeesh!
Bet you're not any more …
God. It was chili and now I have indigestion. *shakes tiny fist*
It said right there in the Bible that Jesus got drunk and yelled at Liberals for helping the poor and such! It's in Koch 1:4!
Actual mugshot
I'll fight you for her.
*waves white flag*
*puts on glasses*
Uh, on second thought you have 'er…
*sprints to car, slams door, peels out*
Careful while speeding across Lake Chunkalumps
It's like William H. Macy got caught in the detention level trash compactor.
Yep she looks like the one that got away
Mom?
Man, she sure lost a lot of weight by the time they took her mug shot from all that P.F Chunking.
Hott. In a drunken, meth sexy way.
She sort of looks like Charlize Theron as Aileen Wuornos in MONSTER. Apologies to Charlize.
two things that don’t mix – alcohol and politics
What? The latter necessitates the former by definition…
That sure is a pretty Pavement Pizza in that pic up there.
I get this image of Jackson Pollock rolling over in his grave.
That picture will keep me from eating PF Chang's for the rest of forever. And all other foods as well. So thanks for that.
new diet. that picture om your fridge.
Dining at PF Chang's did the same for me; the picture is merely a reinforcement.
Uh, Editrix, next time just give us the real mug shot
http://www.mugshotreport.com/charlene-idelle-hunz…
It's bad enough as is, and I won't have to have my eyeballs removed.
Having your eyeballs removed will not cure the searing memory that is now etched in your brain like a tattoo – a picture like that calls for brain bleach.
Fat, drunk, and blowing chunks is no way to go through life, my dear.
Two out of three isn't bad.
Especially if Chunks is the name of your dog…
Win!
Fat, drunk and Republican is no way to go through life.
That ain't her.
I'm just saying, in general.
The report said Hunziker kicked, screamed and struggled as Morgan and a backup officer tried to handcuff her and place her in the squad car.
Bitch better count her blessings that she did not pull this crap with LAPD…
Des Moines police are pussycats for the most part, at least that's been my experience.
Let's All Pound the Dude (or, Dudette, in this case).
"Thank God I'm white!"
we got tasers here in Maryland for a reason
Is she even wearing pants? I think I see the continental divide
Front butt
I get my history confused. Should she have taken the Donner Pass?
This thread is going to be impossible to masturbate to …
… hell, that pic is going to make it impossible to masturbate anywhere for at least a day or two. Just … wow.
Challenge Accepted
We can do it if we all just take a deep breath, close our eyes, and imagine a lady/fellow of our choice emerging from the surf ala Ursula Andress in Dr. No.
I think Editrix is trying to kill our libidoes until Obama wins re-election. Make us ornery and angry and willing to get out and do the work he needs from us.
Well, it won't work, Trix! We have….alcohol!
Eh, I think we all needed to go a bit easy on the old pud anyway.
Poor
littlefella's all tuckered out.harumphmutterfrumble
Besides, I'm all out of rock polish anyway.
hurrumph
Other things that jail is for: fans of daytime television, members of tribute bands for The Bangles, and L Ron Hubbard.
May I add people who wear leggings as pants?
Fans of the Offspring, too, also, please.
[removes wig] Susanna Hoffs LIBEL!
Are the grotesque images that accompany articles part of some secret Clockwork Orange desensitization program? And, while I'm on the subject, who exactly is that enormously fat guy at his computer? Is he a meme?
No, he's meme.
Forget it, Charlene. It's Chinatown.
Actually, *that* pic reminds me of the end of Johnny LaRue's Polynesian Town.
Hunziker reportedly said that “she was doing this because she was a
good mothera Republican "FTFY
When does she start writing her fitness book?
We love watching white trash of both political persuasions come up with new and inventive ways to entertain those of us with more genteel addictions.
And if she were a demoncrap, the wingnuts would make all these posts about how she was going to get raped in jail. But we don't do that, so I will just wonder if PF Chang is related to Senor Chang?
No. No. No.
"Hunziker reportedly refused a sobriety test and admitted to having consumed alcohol, but insisted she was not drunk … "
You know, given what we read here everyday, there is a good chance that she's just a stupid, mouthy twunt. She is, after all, from Iowa. So we can't rule that out.
She's probably doing this to pad her resume for her upcoming run for city council or state senate.
upcoming *reelection* run, you mean?
Is there an opening at Fox?
Please. She's Senate-grade material for the GOP.
Now now now. Let's not rush to judge. Who hasn't been drunk at P.F. Changs at 3:45 on a Friday? Anyone? Anyone at all here on Wonkette?
I thought so…
Hell, by 3:45 I wouldn't be able to locate a P.F. Changs. <closes lower file cabinet with foot>
By 3:45 I can't locate my foot.
I don't drink – ok, I had a glass of cider this year -but due to natural insanity or hormonal imbalance- I act like I am on something
Lucky you. Look at the money you save.
If you thought that was bad, you should've seen her at the Values Voters summit.
Her tagline: "Must've been summit' I ate!"
She's right, you know — America was getting along just fine until that Muhammad came along and ruined everything.
Summun hadda say et *hic*
He's not Muhammad! He's engaged to Muhammad. Or something. I'm not feeling so good. I think I need ta peeeeeooook!
Is she the one who is starring in the Hulk Hogan sex tape? The tape hasn't come to my local motion picture theater yet.
Now I'm going to have to spend half an hour at LolzCats to get that picture out of my mind.
I'm confused by the photo: is she losing her lunch on the sidewalk or powerfully sucking up someone else's from the sidewalk? She looks in her element either way.
It's good to have a hobby.
It's good to see she's getting out of the house, you know?
You just made me laugh SO hard. lol
Mmmmm. As a pallet cleanser here is the story about the mom of the former SEAL who was killed in Bengazi and who Willard was bragging about knowing. She 'doesn't trust Romney.' Even though her son Glen was no longer active duty, she should still get a Gold Star. Defending your country, is what should count not which federal agency was signing you paycheck.
Thank you I needed that story.
Thanks. Made my day too.
And he was from Encinitas, also, too, so thanks, Mom! Dang it! We don't need no stinking bullshit from Willard up here. Keep it down below the Merge, fucker.
ahh i see between this and the abortion flip flop coverage we're starting to get back to normal.
The PF Changs in West DesMoines is out by the big ass mall. Right next to the Joe's Crab Shack and On the Border. So, you know, Chinatown for sure.
Iowa used to be a really sane place. I swear. My 85 yr old mother still lives there and is a vocal democrat. I weep for my home state…
I always got the impression that western Iowa was crazy and eastern Iowa was okay, has this changed recently?
There is some crazy in Pleasant Hill just outside DesMoines. But generally, you are correct. The Iowa 5 is home to Steve King, the crown prince of crazy.
I had a great time once in Ames…. But I guess that college towns are usually outliers
I went to the drive in movie in Newton, Iowa- where Maytag was located and where they make Maytag blue cheese
Ew gross. The picture of the barfing lady is nasty too.
I find this photograph diffucult to masterbate to.
Council Bluffs really isn't in Iowa; it's just that Omaha kicked it out the door and won't let it back in.
You sound like you know my people…do you know the awesome $5M footbridge they built that starts in downtown Omaha and leads on the CB side to an open swamp?
Deeply weird place, Council Bluffs.
Been there a couple of times. None of them sober.
Top pic: Look's like the Palin diet is catching on.
It does look like she read the galleys of Lou Sarah's diet book and has just nailed purging.
Palin/Hunziker 2016
The woman’s daughter proclaimed her mother “an embarrassment"…
That alone is enough to get her on the ticket.
re: alt-text
My pleas, Trix!
she was doing this because she was a good mother
Well, she got half the word right…
Extreme Makeover artist Sharron Angle wants this assignment, bad.
I live in Iowa, and our drinking times do start around 9; 6 am on game days. You really don't want to watch the Hawkeyes play while you're sober.
There is nothing sexier than a woman with strong opinions. And hand-cuffs on.
I betcha I know who's diet book she will proudly buy!
I long ago stopped drinking with Republicans for reasons similar to this lady's Subway sandwich vagina monologue
I'd hit that. Crazy in the head, crazy in the bed. You just know she's kinky. FOR JESUS.
Plus, the leathery quality of her skin would exfoliate you better than a day at the spa! Win-Win!
The actual woman, or the anonymous vomiting woman?
Any of 'em, all of 'em Katie.
She ain't much fun since I quit drinkin'
Both photos radiate the kind of class and dignity that someone who goes on a bender in a PF Changs would have. I am surprised that this "Mother of the Year" type didn't yack her cookies in the back of the squad on the way down to the pokey. The freeze frame effect on the park bench pukette photo is fantastic, someone really captured a moment with that one. I hope they took it into the photo kiosk in WalMart or someplace similar and blew it up to an 8-1/2 by 11 for a cherished memory for her.
Definite Hallmark card material
IOWA Idiots Out Walking Around
That needs to be updated. I look around at the malls here and I don't think we do enough walking.
This is Iowa; ain't much walkin' going on, let me tell you.
Is barf lady there … is she … is she …… naked?? OH MY GOD SHE IS AND NOW I'M DEAD ON THE INSIDE AND ALSO BLIND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!!??
Are we sure it wasn't Mel Gibson in drag?
She looks drunk when she's drunk.
It's almost unfair.
I've always heard rumors about the existence of women's flapadoodle, but I never thought I'd see actual photographic evidence.
And as for the mugshot, Ann Coulter is looking particularly like shit these days, bless his heart.
Geeze. The closer we get to the election, the crazier some people are getting. I'm expecting quotes from Revelations or The Turner Diaries to be routine by the end of the month.
I vaguely recall yelling while drunk back in the day, but I was never arrested and if I were I would not have told the officer that he shouldn't arrest democrats. It is never good to say things that a police officer might find unpleasant.
Nooo, Wonkette!! Not Whiskey-Shaming!!
When she's sober, she punches gay kids.
And scissor-kicks Big Bird.
Did the woman in the pic just finish blowing Tucker Carlson?
My inner child just asked if you were "adding insult to injury" regarding its mental image of that.
MUGSHOT = The love child of Chipper Jones and William H. Macy
there is a Chinatown in Iowa?
Yes, we have two, count 'em, TWO Peking Buffets! One of the cars outside may be a Toyota, which in western Iowa is Chinese enough.
She cut her leg and gravy came out? Sometimes, you just can't say, "EWWW" loud enough.
It's hard to believe sometimes that Iowa had honest-to-god Socialistic farming collectives (well, "farming cooperatives") up until the 1970's.
And Council Bluffs is a very special place indeed. Sort of a smaller white Detroit.
Is there still a moored riverboat casino there?
Oh, so you mean Kansas City, Missouri, then.
Cripes, how many Sarah Palin pix are you going to post today?
This one's different because it was day one of her new diet.
Worst upskirt evah!
I'm sorry, what did she say?
I had my browser set to Ignore Whitespace…
That cavernous cranium houses little more than two neurons connected by a spirochete.
Mom!
Why is she wearing my purple T-shirt????
I always enjoy before-and-after pictures.
I hadn't realized puking had become a sport.
Drunkenness is scientifically proven to halve your intelligence, which makes Ms. Hunziger the first human on record to have an IQ expressed in irrational numbers.
Will she be a Special Guest at the next Wonkette Meet-Up?
She's very lucky. I hear if Obama wins in November, it'll be Sharia Law and instead of sleeping her drunk off in the pokey, there will be public flogging followed by a ritual stoning. Because that's what happens to Christian good mothers.
Is that a quadratwat?
If she ain't got no drawers on, that means she's also waxed. Bless her precious heart.
From Wiki: "Council Bluffs, known until 1852 as Kanesville, Iowa—the historic starting point of the Mormon Trail"
I blame R-money. And if he wins, we'll all be like that lady on the bench and then arrested and converted and force-marched down the Mormon Trail.
At least, that's what I heard Romney would do.
Personal responsibility!
I can not wait to see sites like Big Failure spin this as Nobamar's thugs arresting good patriot types.
Gretchen Carlson will be cuddling her like a little baby on Fox&Friends tomorrow.
This entire blog can be shipped to Afghanistan, no one has lost any
I think I see some Chick-fil-A in the barf.
it isn't chick-fil-a , it's mel gibson
If I'm not mistaken, that is PF Chang's dim sum and sesame noodles special.
How many people went all Arc of the Covenant over that first picture?
What? She didn't Stand Her Ground?
Who said the Mullet is dead?
The freeze frame spew is awesome photography. Drunk Republikans (& sober – if possible) need to be deprogrammed.
When they do her life story, I hope they get Charlize Theron to play her and Miley Cyrus to play her daughter.
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