WND: Obama Gay Married Islam

  the birthers are now the ringers

obama's wedding ring from another angleIt’s been nearly…oh, a few days, maybe, since there was an insane conspiracy theory about Barack Obama, so of course there’s another one!

Barack Obama has a wedding ring, and unlike a normal American male, it is slightly fancy with squiggles and shit. Dr. Jerome Corsi, Ph.D., has investigated the ring through blurry, pixelated pictures and also consulted noted Islamic ring expert Mark A. Gabriel (who has a doctorate in “Christian Education”) who says without a doubt that the pictures of the ring are almost entirely certainly Islamic.

Egyptian-born Islamic scholar Mark A. Gabriel, Ph.D., examined photographs of Obama’s ring at WND’s request and concluded that the first half of the Shahada is inscribed on it.

“There can be no doubt that someone wearing the inscription ‘There is no god except Allah’ has a very close connection to Islamic beliefs, the Islamic religion and Islamic society to which this statement is so strongly attached,” Gabriel told WND.

Below, the indisputable pictorial evidence that will convince you beyond a doubt that Obama’s ring…has squiggles on it?

prince ali, mighty is he, ali obama

We don’t know about you, but those Microsoft Paint squiggles lend as much credence to this theory as it actually being true. Look at how closely that weird W looks almost like the Arabic lettering below that’s never translated!

Gabriel believes it would be impossible for Obama not to be aware of what is written on the ring, calling it a “blessed statement in Islam.”

“By wearing this religious statement on one’s hand, it connects the person to Islam,” he said. “It is worn in hopes that Allah’s protections would be with the person, in hopes of gaining favor with Allah.”

He affirmed that Muslim men do wear gold rings, despite prohibitions in Islamic law.

“Though Islamic law prohibits the wearing of gold jewelry by men, it is a widely accepted custom, even in strictly Muslim countries,” he said. “The wearing of gold rings is even more acceptable when it contains a religious message, such as ‘There is no god except Allah.’”

We can’t wait until Corsi and Gabriel can do intense analysis on Obama’s cock ring, which has an engraved picture of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed on it. We’ll volunteer for any help they need with that one!

[World Net Daily]

Share This
 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

164 comments

  1. snowpointsecret

    Wait, Muslims have claimed ownership of cool patterns now? Man, I am WAY out of the loop here.

  2. docterry6973

    Proof positive!!!

    If WND, Corsi, and friends actually can turn a profit on peddling this bullshit then why am I working for a living? So to speak.

  3. Indiepalin

    Wait, isn't that Paul walking barefoot on the cover of the album? What do you suppose THAT means?

  4. mrpuma2u

    This goomba would probably find satanic/muslin messages in a "Where's Waldo?" poster. What an epic douche nozzle.

  5. WhatTheHolyHeck

    That's nothing. The moles on his left arse cheek spell out the entire text of the Monty Python pet shop sketch, in Albanian.

  6. actor212

    Look at how closely that weird W looks almost like the Arabic lettering below that’s never translated!

    Why, it almost crosses over like the letters, only not quite completely not at all!

  7. SmutBoffin

    If you look even closer and apply the ROT26 (twice as secure as ROT 13!) cypher , you will see the sekrit motto of the Bavarian Illuminati

    REMEMBER TO DRINK YOUR OVALTINE

  8. actor212

    With regard to men wearing gold, whether it is a ring or anything else, it is not permissible under any circumstances, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) forbade gold for the males of this ummah. He saw a man wearing a ring of gold and he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) took if from his hand and said, “Would any one of you take a coal from the fire and hold it in his hand?” (Narrated by Muslim, al-Libaas wa’l-Zeenah, 3897). So it is not permissible for the Muslim male to wear a gold ring. But with regard to rings of silver or any other kind of metal, it is permissible for men to wear them even if they are precious metals.

    With regard to the wedding ring, which is worn on the occasion of marriage, this is not one of the customs of the Muslims.

    Um, yea, this would be a LOT like a Muslim eating pork (which we've seen Obama do) or a Jew eating pork (which happens, but…) or a Christian being civil.

    1. GeorgiaBurning

      Also, if a person is eating bacon with something that looks like hebrew lettering on it that's proof that they're actually a Jew.

    2. anniegetyerfun

      (1) Muhammad was sort of a dick.
      (2) Most Muslim men I know DO wear gold wedding bands; it really depends on what area of the world they hail from. South Asians are a little more fond of gold than others.

  9. Tommmcatt_Again

    I would like to be among the first of Millions to invite Mr. Corsi and the entire "editorial" staff of WND to examine the squiggles on my ass, and to make a few casual suggestions as to what they may feel free to do while they are down there.

  10. Jus_Wonderin

    If I understand the purpose of a cock ring, I doubt Bamz needs one of those. Of course, we all like to ornament our bodies at times, so there's that.

    1. docterry6973

      So true. Kenyan father, 'Hussein' as middle name, childhood years in Muslim country, and now a secret decoder ring. He acts as if he has nothing to hide, the crafty Islamofascist.

  11. Fairtackle

    I saw a cloud yesterday that could only have been Jerome Corsi PhD having sexual relations with a pig. I think that pretty much says it all.

  12. owhatever

    Order now and we will rush not one, but two Obama Islam rings to you, for only five easy payments of $19.25 per month. Show your Tea Party friends the needed proof about the Kenyan Mormon.

  13. Tequila Mockingbird

    expert Mark A. Gabriel (who has a doctorate in “Christian Education”)

    So he's a doctor like Dr. Dre?

    1. CommieLibunatic

      Word. I like how the left and right lines on top use the negative/black space to make characters that aren't really there. Amazing what you can do when you just plain make shit up.

  14. coolhandnuke

    WND's next crusade is get a noted tree surgeon, cut Obama open and count his rings to determine his true age and Kenyan roots.

  15. Detesticle

    These people are like Indiana Jones, if Indiana Jones liked to suck on donkey balls. "Mmm mmm donkey balls. Tasty."

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      That is what I was thinking. They are like Shirley Jones, if Shirley Jones liked taking a big dump in the palm of her hand and flinging it at nice people. "Yay! Take my poo, yous!"

  16. taylormattd

    They just don't understand the squiggles, because they are written in BLACKETY BLACK (Ebonics).

    1. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      If Mitt Romney is elected he'll ban alcohol because it's against the Mormon faith.

      That's what I heard, anyway.

    2. TigerLaverada

      Interestingly, my son (military, been stationed all over the globe) says the biggest, fanciest and most complete liquor store he's ever seen was in Baghdad — and in the city proper, NOT in the Green Zone where the infidels were living and shopping. I'd say the Muslin prohibition of alcohol is one of those things, like Christian tolerance, that is acknowledged in word but not in deed.

  17. ShuCityRefugee

    So I guess anybody who owns an Oriental rug should inspect it for Mooslim images, or expect to be outed as a crypto-Jihadist someday soon.

  18. elviouslyqueer

    Well, I'm convinced.

    Also, following this totally flawless logic, I have a silver ring with a Greek key design on it. SO therefore I should be out smearing myself in baklava and feta cheese, drinking ouzo by the gallon, and having copious amounts of Olympic buttsecks before going out and throwing Molotov cocktails at every German car that passes outside my office window.

  19. arihaya

    One Ring to rule them all,
    One Ring to find them,
    One Ring to bring them all
    and in the blahness …. bind them

  20. pinkocommi

    If these idiots are so offended by Obama's wedding ring, what would they think if they knew about his rainbow-flag cock ring.

    Did I type that out loud? Whoops! My bad!

  21. sullivanst

    I didn't need further proof that anyone who believes a single word on WND, except possibly the bylines, is a complete fucking moron with no redeeming features, but you went ahead and gave it to me, didn't you?

    I mean seriously, their picture evidence is conclusive proof of one thing in addition to one of two other things. It's certainly conclusive proof that Obama's ring is not engraved with the Shahada, and secondly it's conclusive proof that either the site's ownership is unbelievably stupid, or they're thoroughly dishonest, I mean like zombie Epimenides can't even believe how mendacious they are.

    1. rickmaci

      " and secondly it's conclusive proof that either the site's ownership is unbelievably stupid, or they're thoroughly dishonest,"

      Yes and yes.

  22. coolhandnuke

    I thought it was a Mooslim mood ring that turns all blingee gold and squiggly when the wearer wants him some white womenz.

  23. YouBetcha

    Oh FFS. Does he really have nothing better to do? NOTHING? My car could use a wash. Also, my dry cleaning needs to be picked up. Does he need a job or something? Because I am willing to oblige.

    1. tessiee

      I know several English Majors who might dispute this.
      Of course, we'd also say it should be "fewer" job interviews, so maybe nobody hires us because we're just so damned annoying.

  24. HarryButtle

    My wedding band has squiggles, too! Loosely translated it says, "Fuck Jerome Corsi with a syphillitic rat dick." Or so I've been told by scholars who have looked at grainy photos of it.

    1. MosesInvests

      Those things have been around at least since the '70's, much to the dismay of the rabbis who advised my youth group.

  25. CapnFatback

    Well, to be fair to Corsi, Gollum can't help but get distracted by the precious ring. It's in his nature.

    One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
    One Ring to bring them all and in Sharia bind them

    1. anniegetyerfun

      Has there ever been anyone who wanted to suck Obama off as badly as Corsi? All evidence points to "no, there never was."

  26. SayItWithWookies

    Well — who could argue with the sort of brilliant and insightful analysis that's revealed the seventeen different locations of Atlantis or the thirty-six sites of the Garden of Eden?

    1. PubOption

      That religious test only applies to different flavors of Christianity, which may include Catholics (Santorum) or may not (Kennedy).

    2. Esteev

      Black and Muslim? We should just be lucky we have all the Christinanists preventing the inevitable Apocalypse through prayer and the occasional extra-marital affair; to keep God busy.

    3. Negropolis

      Bless your heart. You know good and well what it means. What's wrong with the presidnet being black? Everything, of course.

  27. Crank_Tango

    Well, using Google's crop, enhance, and translate feature, I was able to deduce that it says "the shocker."

      1. Crank_Tango

        That's awesome! Although I prefer to use more of a Mr Spock technique, the Spocker. Oh crap that's actually a thing…

  28. Beowoof

    So Obama is being Swift fingered here? And when did Corsi get back from his research trip to Kenya to find the real birth certificate. And what shithole college gave this guy PhD. Or is he just so greedy that even though he is educated he will say anything for money. (Which would be my favorite).

  29. Mahousu

    Wait a sec, my wedding ring is sort of squiggly, too. This can mean only one thing –

    I'm married to Michelle Obama. Sorry, Barry, she's mine.

  30. Abernathy

    Other little-known facts about the POTUS's ring: If you spin it counterclockwise, it reads "Worship Satan." And if you turn it very slowly around and around on your finger, the Islamic letters synch up with The Wizard of Oz.

  31. LibertyLover

    I'm beginning to think that Dr. Jerome Corsi, Ph.D. is just jealous that BHO can tuck his third leg into his dress sock.

  32. CommieLibunatic

    I'm going to strangle everyone at WND, anyone nearby me, and then myself. With votes. Seriously, hunters of the Loch Ness Monster, Megalodon, and Deep Crows have more proof than this.

  33. ChessieNefercat

    These clowns sure do like spending their time contemplating Barack having teh ghey mooslim sex, hmm?

    And oh, how their "readers" hunger for the next installment.

  34. Naked_Bunny

    I'm pretty sure those squiggles represent the intestines connected to the ass out of which WND pulls its "news".

  35. zumpie

    1) You'd think Wingnut Daily would merely content themselves with it's clearly a blah/teh gay thing (cause you know, flashy and stuff).

    2) My hetereo (I hope), Jewish husband and I have matching wedding bands that have squiggles and stuff. Cause we didn't want something we'd be wearing these 20 years on Friday (and rest of our lives) to be super boring, etc.

    3) I'll give WND this: the ring's admittedly kinda ugly and frankly, both Bams and Michelle normally pick nicer stuff. But it was the early 90's, they were young and poor, etc….

    1. tessiee

      Congrats on your 20th anniversary.
      I hope you have a better time than President Obama had on *his* 20th anniversary.

  36. poorgradstudent

    Wearing a wedding or engagement ring isn't an Islamic custom at all and in fact is disapproved of by some authorities since it infers that taking off the ring would negatively affect the marital relationship, but hey I found all that out by doing a two minute Google search which turned up a bunch of unanimous sources and not by consulting an "Islamic expert" (BORN IN EGYPT NO LESS!), so WND must be right!

    1. Naked_Bunny

      Nobama is not only a devout Muslin, he's a terrible blasphemer to boot! Also, Reverend Wright!!

  37. natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I had no idea you could gay marry a religion! I have to propose to Taoism. BRB…

    Taoism said, "The Way is eternally nameless."

    Sooo, that's a yes, then?

  38. Esteev

    Case closed guys. We have to hand it to the folks at WND. They got us (you do realize you're a Muslin if you voted for Obama, right?) and there's no use in resisting.

    We should all turn ourselves back to Jesus… wait that sounds kinda gay.

  39. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Some one should point out:

    Among Muslims, the left hand is reserved for bodily hygiene and considered unclean. Thus, the right hand should be used for eating. Shaking hands or handing over an item with one's left hand is considered an insult.[2] Nonetheless, this rule does not apply to Iran anymore where using the left hand is perfectly acceptable.

    So it is worse than we thought. Obama is Iranian.

    1. Negropolis

      Serious question, what if you're left handed in some of those cultures? Are you seen as defective and/or born evil?

  40. tessiee

    "Islamic law prohibits the wearing of gold jewelry by men"

    So, if President Obama were wearing no rings and no jewelry, that would *also* prove he is Muslin.
    It's like the science factoid that says that only the male mosquito whines, but only the female mosquito bites. So, if you hear whining, you're OK — but *if you hear NOTHING*…

  41. tessiee

    "Mark A. Gabriel (who has a doctorate in “Christian Education”)"

    I think we have a new author for the Beka textbooks for ignorant Christers.

  42. Negropolis

    I can just see the WND bastards rubbing their hands together and hissing between their bad teeth: "Yes, yes…The Precious!"

  43. Self-Uploader

    I'm still confused. It's a Muslim ring due to the invisible lettering which only a "Christian educationist" can read and it's supposed to be gold. Muslim men are prohibited from wearing gold rings, but this proves that Barry is a Muslim. He's also supposed to be gay which is against Islam and a Marxist which is atheistic. Is this his wedding ring from Michelle? Or is it his secret marriage to his Muslim college roommate? None of this makes sense, unless of course the Marxists, the gays, and the Muslims are all in it together, which of course they are. Plus the CIA which his mother worked for.

  44. drstrabismus

    Don't you actually have to put the ring in a fire before the lettering becomes clear?

    Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul,
    Ash nazg thrakatulûk agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.

    That's Arabic, right?

  45. Troglodeity

    Unfortunately Dr. Corsi Ph.D has made the rookie mistake of reading the ring upside-down. The inscription actually reads: "Slayer of Osama Bin Laden."

Comments are closed.