Clifford Russell, a nice man working in the Mitt Romney campaign office in Bedford, Virginia, has a plan to reduce this awful entitlement culture that we have here in US Amercia. During a visit from freelance writer Christopher D Cook., Mr. Russell expounded on a number of important issues, proclaiming that global warming is “a total fiction,” that the NAACP is “the most racist organization in America,” that “Everyone in Iraq under Hussein was a terrorist,” and of course that the best way to address poverty would be … well, let’s let Clifford Russell speak for himself, with Cook offering him chances to walk back or clarify his views:
I’ll tell you what really need to do with these illegitimate families on welfar — give all the kids up for adoption and execute the parents.”
I stare at him and blink in a glaze of shock.
Just to be sure I heard him right, I ask him to repeat it, twice.
“Yes, I mean it. Get rid of all of them, give the kids up for adoption, execute the parents, and you get rid of the problem.” (When I call him back to revisit the issue, he elaborates: “put the children up for adoption and execute the parents, and word would get out soon” that poor people shouldn’t have kids.)
When Cook points out that most people getting food stamps and other assistance actually do work, Russell explains that is no excuse for being poor, because our economy is structured in such a way that everyone should be an investment banker:
He tells me if they were smarter, like Romney, they would earn more money. “Obama got all his money through his charisma, Romney got his because of his brains,” he says. “Some people are just smarter than others, and not everyone is equal — but everyone has to pull their own weight and stop making excuses for being poor. Get up and do something. Some people just don’t want to work.”
Therefore, the working poor are not willing to work, those dopes. Why this liberal writer cannot see such simple truths is something of a puzzle to Russell, who also complains repeatedly about “inner-city people on welfare and food stamps” and then objects to Cook’s mention of “entrenched systemic impoverishment and disinvestment from black neighborhoods.” Because Russell only said “inner-city,” not “black,” he quite correctly accuses Cook of “trying to make this a racial thing, I never mentioned race.” Anyone who says Fox News is not educational clearly is not paying attention.
We will give Mr. Russell credit for this: He is a man who stands up for truth and accuracy in media! When The Progressive ran Cook’s story with the headline, “Meet a Romney Extremist in Virginia – A staffer in a Romney campaign office wants to execute parents on welfare and give their kids up for adoption,” he wrote back with an angry letter demanding a clarification:
I did not say that I wanted to execute parents on welfare and give their kids up for adoption.
I said that it would be better to execute the parents of an illegitimate child and put their child up for adoption.
He somewhat undercuts his point, maybe a little, by redefining “illegitimate children.” Most of us elitist liberals might think that “illegitimate” would mean something like “born out of wedlock,” but that is because we are snobs who cling to our dictionaries and socialism. Mr. Russell clarifies how a well-defined federal statute would set out clear guidelines for which children are illegitimate, and why they are a burden:
Some might say illegitimate children (children where one of both parents fail to provide for the child) is not even a problem, but an illegitimate child usually represents instant poverty and much misery. Illegitimate children are most of the need for massive health care/welfare programs that are a major burden on Society. The problems in the America school system are mostly related to illegitimate children where one or both parents could care less about education.
Those irresponsible parents should feel especially bad about how their illegitimate children have driven up the costs of the biggest parts of federal spending: Defense, Social Security, and Medicare/Medicaid. All we need are these common-sense guidelines to decide whether someone should be executed: If “one or both parents fail to provide for the child,” then warm up the lethal-injection gurney! (To be fair, Mr. Russell does not specify this method of execution; it may in fact be far too wussy). Also, it is a far better solution than killing babies or wearing little rubber devices to prevent issue:
I believe executing the parents is a better solution than the Democratic solution of abortion and handing out condoms (birth control). Abortion represents the killing of the only innocent person associated with the adultery or fornication that has occurred. Democrats have never explained how they are going to get people to use the birth control they hand out. Why should a man use a desensitizing condom when he know his child can get on welfare. I am still looking for a realistic method from Democrats and Progressive to deal with the problem of illegitimate children.
For all its exciting “let’s kill some people” appeal, which seems to be all the rage with some Republicans this season, we do have a nagging feeling that maybe there are other practical objections to this whole “execute bad parents” idea. For instance, won’t we need gummint bureaucracy to feed the kids and find adoptive parents? And will anyone want to adopt those kids anyway? After all, Pat Robertson has warned people that orphans might grow up all weird and stuff. We may be other-thinking this.
Ever the realist, Mr. Russell closes his letter with a couple of quotes from the Bible, because he is a Christian.
Needless to say, Mr. Russell is merely a low-level worker — perhaps a volunteer? — in a Romney campaign office. We would like to urge Mr. Russell to contact Mitt Romney to share his realistic plan with the candidate, who it must be emphasized has not yet called for the execution of illegitimate parents.
[The Progressive, via LGF]




{ 325 comments }
Execute illegitimate parents…and convert them to Mormonism?
With the zombie baptizing.
BAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNZZZZZZZZ!!!!!
Frontal Lobe Libel!
They can be converted post mortem, right? I've heard that can work.
This dovetails nicely with the guy in Arkansas who wants to allow parents to execute disobedient children. No more CPS!
There would eventually be no more Americans, because all children are disobedient at some point.
Have I told you lately how much I hate these people?
"Put down the XBox or I put you down."
Frickin' genius. Who do I send this to first? Santorum?
2016 Conservative Republican Plan for A More Prosperous America:
Step one: Execute all the poor parents. http://wonkette.com/486378/gentleman-in-virginia-…
Step two: Execute all the disobedient children . http://wonkette.com/486233/bible-loving-arkansas-…
Step three: United States becomes United States of Utopia.
Step four: Profit!!!
Dammit! I can't believe I forgot that! Good save [Redacted].
If we introduced them maybe they could utilize synergy to ensure that all the resulting orphans ended up being adopted in Arkansas.
What? Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?
I think we're gonna need a bigger orphanage.
Bigger than the prison system. . . .
This is a positive for Wackenhut.
Social welfare is a humbug!
Those cost $$$$$$$$! Won't you people think of the DEBT?!
Are there no graveyards? Is there no Soylent green?
Easy there, Patrick Bateman
Wow.
I want to snark. I've snarked on dead people. I've snarked on rape stories.
My snarker is busted here.
And, just as a reminder to all of us to get our butts to the polls on Election Day – this guy has a vote.
In a fucking swing state.
There's nothing more useless than a busted snarker – you just can't kick start these bastards….
I may need a jump start.
Yes, alcohol will be involved.
I believe it's noon where you are. Party on!
Wait. What is this "noon"? Is this a magical hour? Cuz I usually start at breakfast but my liver's been on the fritz so I cut back
They're sounding more Taliban-y every day.
As Molly Ivins said: Shi'ite Baptists.
Ahem. That's "Babtists."
Ehxshually, to be completely correct, it would be "Babdists".
I thought you said your "snarkier" was busted. Please stay off your webcam.
This post definitely has a "first Wonkette post of the day" feel to it, that either sends you back to bed or for more coffee.
Remember the good ol' days when idiots like this had to scuttle around in the dark?
SEE: Outrage Fatigue, 2001-2008.
Your snarker's busted, eh? [warms hands] Come here once.
How about executing the lobbyists instead?
Wouldn't we need lobbyists to lobby for that?
"Romney got his because of his brains,”
That's strange, I didn't know that "his brains" meant "his daddy".
Likely Mr. Russell is a trust fund baby.
If he's a Romney volunteer, my guess would be "Staples Assistant Manager Who Loves His Job."
Yes, Romney had the brains back when he was nut batter to get into the egg first there by making him self made and completely intelligent. Never once in his life did his father use his position nor did Romney use his fathers connections to find wealth and opportunity. Never, ever, ever…he was a homeless child who achieved everything while wearing shoes with holes in them. Did I mention that I hate these stupid racist assholes?
Yep. Load em' up on trains and send em' off to the showers. And then call the other guys Nazi. Liars.
It's Opposite Day on Wonkette!
It's cephalopod awareness day
That explains all the cuttlefish tourists!
They're camouflaged as lurkers…
Oddly, the mother of one of my ex-boyfriends felt that the logical solution to dealing with the poor was to round them up and put them in camps. Of course she couldn't elaborate on what to do with them once they were safely behind the fence…
"Do?"
Hmmm… good point. It's all done!
I don't see your point.
WHOOPS, can't call them "liars" anymore, that's Nazi talk; have to call them something else, like "Anti-Reality Scum Of The Earth".
Relax, it's totally in the Bible. "Render unto me the little children, and I will fucking murder those fucking people who gave birth to them and then send them off to some rich foster parents."
I think it's actually "Render unto me the little children, and I will render the fat from the dead blah corpses to create a shining new bio-deisel industry. And soylent green also too."
Tell everyone, tell the whole world! Soylent Green is the Republican Platform!
And the RNC platform is a cookbook!
The Ryan Budget is a cookbook.
This soap smells funny.
And, lo, Jesus said: "God, I hate poor people SO MUCH. Almost as much as I hate lepers. Can't everyone get up and earn some pieces of silver, like my good friend Judas here? Poors–kill them all and let You sort them out."
Everyone knows how many open and excellent homes there are for kids who have been abandoned or taken away from neglectful parents in this country. Imagine if we could quadruple the number of kids who need new families! IT'D BE SO GREAT!
I agree, Mr. Russell. But I think you'd be very, very surprised when the majority of those parents that are executed end up being in the rural South.
Not to mention, white.
Oh, that's OK. He's not talking about race, anyway. Besides, as long as the inner city types are wiped out, a little collateral damage is fine.
…and zombie-voting Republican.
And wouldn't it be fitting if the ever-knowledgeable Mr. Russell might have failed to provide for his children at some point in time…
Maybe we should do a test run in his home county.
That will work wonders for the electoral maps
Ah, so you've been to Bedford!
Rural southern whites have the highest illegitimacy rate? Have you verified this? Or are you working from this dipshit's definition of illegitimacy?
The latter. Although I wouldn't be too surprised if the former were true, at least until the shotgun wedding is performed.
SRSLY. What the fuck is wrong with people?
Long list or short list?
Just to say that out loud. And be a associated with someone running for the President of the U.S. He should be chased out of polite company with samurai swords.
He's an engineer. I have noticed something about people in engineering (and, for that matter, accounting) and their politics. By and large, they believe in simplistic, formula driven solutions to political, social, and legal problems.
However, I'm all for the chasing with samurai swords thing.
How are responsible parents supposed to murder-discipline their own children if BIg Government keeps butting into family lives by murder-disciplining parents?
God is the ultimate Murder Discipliner.
Murder-discipline them all and let Him sort it out!!!1!
Say, I wonder what Rep. Joe Walsh thinks about executing parents who don't provide for their children?
He'll blame the mother. That way he can get rid of her and the kids.
Perfectly ok. As long as they're members of the "Democrat Party".
Stop trying to change the subject from women who look at dresses.
Especially when you're "busy" marching in a parade somewhere….
More like goose-stepping in the parade.
"You Lie" ?
He will blame all the stay-at-home moms and that includes Egg Romney.
I invite this gentleman, along with the fellow who wants parents to have the right to kill their children, to have sex with himself, because as far as I'm concerned that's something he could do.
That there's a pretty final solution…
“put the children up for adoption and execute the parents, and word would get out soon” that poor people shouldn’t have kids
I don't believe that Mr. Russell would get the result that he thinks were he to try to put that pogrom into effect.
Oohh, very nice.
i see vut you did zere.
They don't want poor people to have kids but they don't want women to have birth control.
Don't you see? These people aren't motivated to use birth control when they can get a kid on Welfare! Killing the parents is much simpler.
I say we draw and quarter the parents, then let the chillens fight each other for the tasty bits, kind of like a pinata, this solves part of the feeding them problem.
Pay per view!
More like a pay-back per view.
I can't snark, so I'll let Cracked do it for me:
There. I feel better now
OK, but what if we made the pie higher? A rising elevator lifts all cars.
Stronger hooch endrunkens the smallest man.
It's a perfectly cromulent economic theory, at least until that big cold snap killed off all the hobos.
True. If there was some way to double the amount of hooch, we would only have eight dead hobos. Win!
Well, the republicans prefer to talk about pies, but that is their argument.
Finally, a metaphor I can understand. President Obama, are you listening?
Wait, who am I kidding. There's no way ol' Handsome Joe doesn't use this in the debate tonight.
Bum fight!
“It’s not an invasion if we are protecting our interests.”–Mr. Russell
To be fair, he could have been in State or the Pentagon for many administrations.
Come on, Mr. Russell, you can do better than that! Rich people are rich because they're inherently better, right? So if you really want to go full-on Social Darwinist Eugenics Nazi, you should eliminate the kids too, before they much up the gene pool with their laziness and stupidity.
Somebody's got to clean the toilets.
OK, but we get to mock them for their bad choices.
At least until the Revolution and the tumbrels come for us…
Is there a promotion involved?
Yeah, after five years they give you a brush!
Brave New World libel?
Mitt Romney certainly has inherited better than most.
Kids… with all their neediness and dependency…
Let's untwist this Rovian knot – what does this guy do for a real job? How many kids does he not care for?
He's a retired nuclear engineer, according to the article. And married, incredibly.
Too much radiation may have gummed up his brain.
Homer Simpson has a nom de plume???
Homer's that dumb, but he isn't that mean.
More like Monty Burns' idiot cousin.
Maybe he's not married. It was another volunteer's wife who left the room, rolling her eyes and saying "I don't have to listen to this."
HIS wife probably left him long ago. Or maybe he killed her for having someone else's illegitimate child.
"How many kids does he not care for?" – ALL OF THEM
Or his mother breastfeeding him so he'd stay alive.
Doesn't count. Woman.
I've given up trying to untangle this pretzel logic.
We go from "all life is sacred" to "all human life is sacred" to "all innocent (unborn) human life is sacred" when the only lives these guys really value are their own.
What don't you understand? Fucking is a capital offense. Stupid is a qualification to become a nuclear engineer.
Reporter to Clifford Russell:
"So far, what do you think about the execution of Mitt Romney's campaign?"
Russell: "I'm all for it."
Can legitimate rape create illegitimate children? Inquiring minds want to know!
Well, duh, because no legitimate rape results in children! You should know if you read here, we've been told ladyparts have a way of stopping that sort of thing!….
Yeah and any "rape" vicitm who does get preggers obviously really wanted it to begin with. And just "raped easy", like that other, disgusting, misogynistic pig said.
Bonus points; we wimmins is all teh eeeevvvilll and stuff. We pretty much start our mantrap/golddigger/force poor innocent mens to have sex with us thing super, super early. Like at birth.
Only the Immaculate Illegitimate Rape.
I did not say that I wanted to execute parents on welfare and give their kids up for adoption.
I said that it would be better to execute the parents of an illegitimate child and put their child up for adoption.
But surely Mr. Russel wants what's better, right? Eugenics much, Mr. Russel?
Y'know, I envision a whole line of parent food products: Daddybits, luncheon meats made with Mommy, and the ubiquitous Aged Grandad cheese.
And both parents' pubes can be converted into dental floss. For the masses.
Retch.
"Soylent Green Again???"
New and Improved!
Old Grand-Dad is already booze.
There's a difference between a gaffe and overt ideology.
There's a difference between a gaffe and a Republican presidential strategy. ftfy
Has he been offered a position in the Romney campaign?
Yes! Grist!….
I hope this dude draws a nice picture of Mohammed and posts it online.
With his address, and a map.
Holy fuck.
"The county is 91 percent white, 6 percent African American, and 1.8 percent Latino—compared with statewide ratios of 71 percent whites, 20 percent African Americans, and 8 percent Latinos."
And duller than hell my family moved there when I was away at school and I never returned for longer than a holiday.
Soooo…..wander about much, one?….
And then, according to that guy in Arkansas, when those adoptive children start acting up, kill them too!!!
The ultimate in win-win!….really cuts down on pollution, unemployment, everything….
…and possible libtards.
Wow! I had to read parts of that twice because it made no sense.
Still doesn't.
Honey Boo Boo's family better run even deeper in the hills than they already are.
I don't know if any of them can run.
Meet the new member of the Taliban, Cliff Russell.
Sadly, it's not a stretch to imagine him shooting a 14-year-old girl for wanting to go to school.
Some things just leave you speechless, don't they? How about we just extend the philosophy of "The Joy Of Execution" (Subtitle: I'm OK, You're Dead) and kill off all the sociopathic, vile, hate-filled products of the hate culture of the Right Wing Noise Machine and clear the air up a bit. With votes.
We (Liberals) have got to get off our asses and stop trying to see things from others viewpoints. Let's make a vow that when stupid people say stupid things we will not let it pass, and when they get red in the face mad and the spittle starts flying, we will laugh at them until they explode.
Or we could just explode them. Again, with votes. Improvised voting explosives.
IVE had enough of these people.
"I’m Not Interested in Finding a Truce in the Culture War. I’m Interested in Winning It. There's this prevailing attitude that the "culture war" is some kind of discussion that we're all having. But you know what? Fuuuuuuck that. I know this is divisive and counterproductive and inflammatory or whatever, but not all ideas are created equal. Some ideas are shitty, and I'm sick of coddling people with shitty ideas just because this country has a weird backwards boner for old-timey puritanical rhetoric. If the "culture war" were an actual war, it would be the fucking war at the end of Lord of the Rings. And I'm sorry, but Sauron ran Mordor into the ground, and I'm not interested in sparing his feelings. This is not something we need to discuss. "
Lindy West, in a jezebel article
I'm guilty. Living in Texas, I have ample opportunity to listen to someone mumbling about the obamalypse and I have too often kept quiet. From now on, I vow today, I will let them finish their rambling and say, "Well, that's just stupid, isn't it?" In a calm, perplexed, and slightly concerned tone.
This is something you learn when you're in a mixed marriage. People who don't know you, or your non-white spouse or your non-white children will say the most hateful things to your face because they figure, "she's white. She'll agree with my racist shit". And early on, you make nice and just nod noncommittally, and try not to "embarrass" them and just move the conversation on. And then after a few years, you say, FUCK this, and you start telling them you won't listen to their racist bullshite, and listen to them sputter and backtrack. It's beautiful.
‘I Stand by What I Said, Whatever It Was’
Finally, David Seigel and the Queen of Versailles are going to get theirs.
Bring back Buck v. Bell.
Like the prototype for that whole thing in Germany back in the 1930's.
Does "three generations of imbeciles are enough" apply to Republicans? Because I think we have reached our quota.
Nah, I think a regiment firing buck and ball in his direction would be sufficient.
President Merkin Muffley: There's nothing to figure out, General Turgidson. This man is obviously a psychotic.
General "Buck" Turgidson: We-he-ell, uh, I'd like to hold off judgement on a thing like that, sir, until all the facts are in.
General Turgidson! When you instituted the human reliability tests, you *assured* me there was *no* possibility of such a thing *ever* occurring!
General "Buck" Turgidson: Well, I, uh, don't think it's quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip-up, sir.
(GOD, I love that movie…)
My all time favorite movie.
P.O.E.
I think it's high time that Kid Zoom see this fine film. Thank god for the happy ending.
"I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.".
Look, I can't help it if IntenseDebate has a character limit on avatar text. I tried to get the whole quote in, but the commie bastards won't let me.
Conspiracy and oppression!!!
('Sides, that was a compliment, not a correction. :0) )
Mr. IntenseDebate, we cannot allow a character limit gap!
Before magnifying, your avatar looks like a low-angle photo of Joe Strummer at the microphone.
The stupid! It
burnskills!"Why should a man use a desensitizing condom when he knows his child can get on welfare?"
"Baby, our child can get on welfare" makes me moist.
That's some powerful foreplay right there.
Yes. Because rich white assholes in every state are just lining up to take in an impoverished, underfed, undereducated, black ten year old and his three siblings, one of whom has cerebral palsy. Good luck with that plan, champ.
By "give them up for adoption," he actually meant "sell them at the slave market." See? Problem solved.
They can get adopted by corporations, who can make good use of the kids once we've gotten rid of those onerous child labor laws!
After they finish their janitorial apprenticeships at their schools
That's because you never asked!
Didn't Obama have to use his brains to figure out he could get whatever he wanted by using his charisma?
No, because affirmative action is magical fairy dust that makes all blah people successful, except for and including the lazy ones.
The big walkback: "I was misquoted. I didn't say 'execute', I said 'buy puppies for' ".
I'm sorry if anyone was offended.
"I'm sorry if you *heard* 'Disneyland', but I *distinctly said* 'military school'."
Willard will make Mor(m)ons expempt form this law, yes?
They're exempt from all the others, so yeah.
Let's just execute the stupid.
A Sensible Plan for a Better America
If we used the chair, that would collapse the national power grid.
I propose a more humane alternative*.
__________________
*Mouse over my avatar for details.
I would suggest that we could just have some sensible tax, labor relations, minimum wage, educational, military expenditure, and infrastructure policies, but that would mean that we might kill fewer people.
But keep yer garddammed handz offen mah Medicare!
Yes, President Obama obviously got his wealth entirely through his charisma. It had nothing to do with his law practice, his service as a legislator, or his authorship of two bestselling books, none of which require the use of a brain. On the other hand, to-the-manor-born Mittens earned his wealth with his brains — his lovely, oh-so-Caucasian brains.
"…lovely, oh-so-Caucasian brains" reminds me of Babs Bush (the Quaker Oats model) saying that she didn't want to sully her beautiful mind by thinking about the poors. What a C U Next Tuesday!
Wasn't it George Carlin who named her "The Giant Silver Douchebag"?
You just can't…
when someone on assbook SERIOUSLY described Mitt as "humble" and a "self-made man"…
I have to pause for a moment after typing that.
It's like they all live in Opposite Day, all the time.
But will his proposal make the trains run on time? I'm asking for a friend.
Tell your friend, "most definitely."
Then wring your hands, tilt you head back, and give out a cackle.
Oy. It's only 9:30 in the morning over here on the West Coast and already I know it's going to be one of those "bang head on nearest hard surface repeatedly until unconscious" days.
I recommend a wake and bake, followed by several hours of drinking.
I can't even snark, this guy is such a moran.
looser moran
What a wimp this guy is – what's the matter with executing the children as well?
Rilly, because you know we're just going to have to kill them for having illegitimate kids themselves in 20 years or so.
Honestly. "Suck it up, ya pansy!"
Well, there are some logistical problems. Who does the identifying and executing? We don't want to get the gubmint involved.
In order for each citizen to take responsibility, we'd have to ask our legislators to loosen up the gun laws, so we could all carry a weapon, …
Wait. What?
Clifford, like most of his swamp fevered hatemongering cousins on down the food chain, is more effectively giving Christianity a bad name than his stated purpose of giving sluttiness a bad name.
Fucking hell.
The worst part is that I worry that this is not a "Romney Extremist" but a fairly mainstream Modern Republican.
Not only that, but he doesn't even say "with votes" after calling for mass murder.
“Everyone in Iraq under Hussein was a terrorist,”
Sadam was fucking a lot of people, but this sounds like blaming the victim.
" Democrats have never explained how they are going to get people to use the birth control they hand out." I concur, I can never open the fuckin wrapper, maybe if I was Republican I could just shoot it open,
Or kill it
So we can kill "illegitimate parents," whatever that means, and parents can kill "rebellious children," whatever THAT means…so when are we gonna just go full retard and (just like baby jeebus)…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFSd_mUSBkw&fe…
Jello (sp?) is my nephew's Godfather.
Kinda makes you think, doesn't it?
PUNK THE VOTE!!!!
Old slogan: Virginia is for lovers.
New slogan: Die, sluts!
Ein volk, ein reich, etc. Or is that too "furrin"?
Clearly, sometimes having the oft-wished for "time to think" isn't a good thing.
Was he casually drawing a little mustache on his upper lip while he said this? Because Self-Godwining is apparently a Thing now.
How is this not class warfare again?
Because it's baggin on teh lame-assed poors! Duh!!!
It's class firing squad.
Desensitizing condoms? This guy is so medieval, I'm surprised he didn't say "desensitizing french letters"….
I guess nobody told him that now there are other, more reliable types of birth control…
"Why should a man use a desensitizing condom when he know his child can get on welfare."
Of all the stupid, mindless actual quotes from wingnuts I've read on Wonkette, this is perhaps the stupidest and most mindless.
And just think … this was part of his "clarification" statement!
Makes a good case for Executions, but not the one he thinks.
I can see why the gentleman from Virginia wanted to clarify that black/inner city thing. After all, it's one thing to call for the systematic execution of an entire class of people and quite another to call for genocide. Right? Those are different things?
If a disobedient child refuses to obey his illegitimate parent, who do we kill?
(You know what response is required…)
Society is clearly to blame.
Right, we'll arrest them.
Not fapping?
Why, Obama, of course
All of them, mein Fuhrer!
Of course he's a Christian, because this is totally what Jesus would do.
Well, Jesus did say: "Suffer the children…"
I have been sarcastically saying that sooner or later the Right would get back to legitimizing (I know what I did there) Genocide for about a decade now, but I thought they would start slowly with Forced Sterilization and work there way up to it.
I just thought that today they would start with the Muslims instead of going back to the "urban" genocide.
I sarcastically wrote a 'story' for Eng 101 in college which was a Deathrace 2000 variation at a stock car track. All the poor and undesirable would be put in the infield for a couple days without water or food. Then when the race began people in the stands would start waiving food in the air. If you made it across the track you got to eat.
They skipped step 3. (?) and went right to 4. (Profit!)
Hmmm. Retired nuke engineer in the south? Wonder where he worked and who is paying his pension. Only two source I can think of are the military and the public power companies. Bet he is collecting his SSI and Medicare with COLA's too. Entitlement Queen? Hmmm.
That's an unfair assumption. After all, he might have saved up for retirement by selling nuke technology to Iran.
Of course, he'll tell you WORKED for his government pension and EARNED it, not like those lazy-ass cops, firefighters, teachers, and veterans
You know who else could attribute their success to their charisma?
Elrod, my tenth level half-elf ranger mage with a charisma score of 18 and +4 saving throw?
But charisma is nearly useless for both rangers and mages; now if he were a sorcerer or a bard, then he could attribute his success to his charisma.
Yeah, well, I also bought the DM a pizza. Now taste my vorpal sword, ye knavish undead fondler of orc bottoms!
See? Charisma.
Peter Griffin: I'm a Paladin with 18 charisma and 97 hit points. I can use my helm of disintegration and do one D4 damage as my half-elf mage wields his plus-five holy avenger.
Lois Griffin: Paladins can't use the helm of disintegration.
Peter Griffin: Oh. Then I'm a black guy.
Or a Wilder, if you're using psionics. My best character ever was totally a Wilder/Rogue Gish with stratospheric Charisma who was possesed by brain-eating dream-monsters and founded a cult aimed at promoting their agenda.
Oh, that reminds me: to answer the original question, L. Ron Hubbard?
What does that mean in grown-up?
I just realized that, if we were to break out into high school cliques here on Wonkette, I might count as a jock.
I know. Compared to these beautiful dorks [said w/ love] I'm Tim Fucking Christ on a Crutch Tebow.
Troy McClure?
George Wallace?
Reagan?
Jesus?
Carol Burnett?
That's not a very modest proposal.
BWAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA!
Well this guy's gonna get fired — not because he's a Nazi eugenecist, of course, but because the Romney campaign can't have its staffers running around advocating new big government programs.
Yeah. He's running for office, for Pete's sake.
Given this level of stupidity, his election would certainly be a triumph of the will.
As all Republicons know, if you're poor, it's because you sux and God hates you; ergo, one is doing the Lord's work by killing the poors. Next stop – sainthood for Mr. Russell!
The question is, what would we call this new government bureaucracy? It totes needs a catchy acronym.
I know I say this pretty much every day, but these Small Government lunatics seem to harbor some wildly intrusive policy ideas. Not like us libtards, who just have moderately and helpfully intrusive policy ideas.
Ladies and Gentlemen — I give you the "pro-life" party.
We have to kill them with love!
Carl Paladino, R-NY former candidate for governor here, wanted to round up all the inner city folks and put them in the unused prison space in NY and teach them how to wash their ass and read and stuff like that so they could get jobs. Even that is better than this guys ignorant ass solution. Bless his heart.
The Paladino plan, otherwise known as the "extended school-day."
Paladino also forwards hilarious emails.
Oh man, I had forgotten about that disgusting turd bucket.
I'd be surprised if Carl knew how to wash his own ass.
Mr. Russell went on to say that he was hoping to adopt at least 3 illegitimate kids. "I need someone to vacuum, do the dishes, and wash my cars. Hopefully one of the boys will be tall enough to wax the top of my Hummer without a ladder."
Seriously, do these people not realize that prior to the Social Security Act people were sent to Poor Houses (work farms) and their children were put into orphanages where they were "adopted out" as slave labor? Ah, "the good old days, when things were simple".
Why would realizing this history change their minds? They are likely well aware of it.
"And they will know we are Christians
By our love, by our love.
Yes, they will know we are Christians
By our love"
Fuck.
Yup, pretty much sums it up.
And die. Know the law!
Well put.
Am I the only one who thinks that it is sad that he does not understand the actual meaning of the word illegitimate? Or even the fact that he is so quick to call,for the death of another human being while at the same time claiming to want to protect it?
Also why isn't Wonkette posting anything on the Fisher case that the Supreme Court is hearing?
My friends think I'm exaggerating for comic effect when I say that the Republican base is mostly a mob of depraved, murderous, retrograde bigots and fucking monsters, and that they're the personality type that could be persuaded under the right conditions to shove their neighbors into ovens.
I'm not. Exaggerating, I mean.
No, you're not exaggerating–you are right on the money.
But not the leadership. Just the easily-dismissed morons at the local offices.
Plausible deniability, baby!
Funny how the chieftains and money people seem to hover guiltlessly above it all when it gets ugly or goes to shit…
"We were only giving orders!"
Wouldn't it be better to start with the grandparents first? After all, it's the parents of the parents (who were once children themselves) that are raising their children all wrong, so they had to learn that behavior from somewhere. Or maybe we need to first execute the great-grandparents because…. you know…
Something something unto the somethingth generation.
American Taliban
Shorter Russell: "I didn't say execute them. OK, yes I did. What are we waiting for??"
The guy is a flake. It's obviously better to kill the parents AND the children and be done with it.
Yes. Last week it was having parents execute smart-mouth children, and this week it is execute some, but not all, maybe, parents. This from the pro-life party. I confuzed, but will open a gun store because opportunity is knocking.
Bedford County VA is one of the most backward and racist places in Virginia. They voted for George Wallace in 1968. And the county borders many counties that closed public schools after integration.
…"which seems to be all the rage with some Republicans this season"
All the rage this season? Bullshit. This is nothing new, I've been listening to this exact rant (practically word for word) around the Thanksgiving dinner table with my Texan Republican in-laws for almost 30 years. What I am amazed by is the idea that anyone would be surprised to learn that people talk like this.
Well, if we can't get people to adopt them, sell them into slavery. Look how well that turned out for the African Americans.
“Everyone in Iraq under Hussein was a terrorist,”
No, they were all badgers. It was kinda cute, actually.
There's a word for this plan, what is? Oh yeah, genocide.
The Dead Kennedys were WAY ahead of this guy.
If there were ever a candidate for a machine gun skullfucking, I believe we found him.
Ummm, boyfriend went and cold plagarized The Handmaiden's Tale!
"we do have a nagging feeling that maybe there are other practical objections to this whole “execute bad parents” idea. For instance, won’t we need gummint bureaucracy to feed the kids and find adoptive parents? And will anyone want to adopt those kids anyway?"
Also, if we execute all the lazy poorz, won't we have to hire illegal Mexicans and such to do the shitty, badly paid jobs that the poorz used to be doing, which is also bad?
Which reminds me, when I drove past the Walmart near my house yesterday afternoon, there was a line of strikers picketing! Yay!
This guy is way too crude and blatant.
Killing poor people? How gauche.
What's wrong with just cutting all their social services so they starve to death?
No abortion, no birth control, and no child services are still honor killing, just in slow motion.
After all, why get your hands dirty if you don't have to?
Win.
It worked for Stalin in the Ukraine in the 1930s.
"Some might say illegitimate children (children where one of both parents fail to provide for the child)…."
Look out Joe Walsh, Mr. Russell is comin' fer ye.
This bad news for Joe Walsh
Perhaps the problem is that all the decent male residents of that part of Virginia were killed assaulting Omaha Beach: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_D-Day_Memor…
The irony and lack of self – awareness is ripe. Were this eugenics premised program initiated, Russell would be first among those purged. "Three generations of imbeciles is enough." Oliver Wendell Holmes
Now, gods, stand up for bastards!
Kill the parents?
Isn't this sort of going the long way around your elbow to get to your thumb?
I mean, the parents can at least be sweatshop labor and/or cannon fodder.
We should bring back the killing midwives and killing orphanages, or just stick 'em on a mountaintop somewhere. I mean, it's not like the little bastards are fetuses any more.
Aren't most illegitimate births in red states? Just thinking out loud, here.
He rejects your librul definitions!
I'm glad the Republican Party exists. I'm happy it is an integral–and vital–element of our society and I applaud its efficiency and effectiveness at doing what it is designed to do: attract and contain the most despicable, repulsive, pedantic, idiotic and worthless douchebags amongst us, like this motherfucker.
The Republican Party is America's septic tank and there's where this fucking turd belongs. Please don't forget to flush.
um, with votes.
Yup. Pull the lever (or press the button).
Strange. All the neglectful fuckwit parents that I ever knew were located in small, meth-addled towns, not in the inner city. But just to be clear, we're only executing inner city bad parents, right? Who are not NECESSARILY BLACK?
I would have asked if he meant this in the same vane as Jonathon Swift, but I'm sure this guy would want to clarify that I didn't mean Tom Slick.
The ugliest part of all?
My total lack of surprise.
This is why his maid is able to charge him a salary of $150,000 per year.
Who Would Jesus Execute?
Sounded better in its original German
"I didn't say I wanted all the Jews to be killed off to take all their money, I said it'd be better if all the Jews were killed off to aquire their money! See, two totally different things. You liberals need to clean your ears out!"
why stop at illigit – why stop with children – just kill em all and let god sort it out with the rest of them filthy democrats laundry. that's the only way to get things done around this bitch.
This post would be 100% depressing if not for Responsibility Pony.
Fortunately, the GOP doesn't have a history of catering to the most vicious and vile elements of their voting base.
Was Mitt in on this focus group….?
Babdicks?
I just like hearing Molly talk about public ort: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKckRXKRmRg
Or a suicide note.
I've had a bottle of zinfandel baking in the fridge. Ain't no party like an Armageddon party!
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