FOUNDING POTHEADS  1:47 pm October 10, 2012

Smoke Em If You Got Em: Appeals Court To Decide Whether You Can Get Hiiiiighhhh

by Kris E. Benson

mount cushmoreIn a CLEARLY partisan move, a federal court is going to review “evidence” and “science” and listen to a bunch of “doctors” so they can decide once and for all if the American people should be free to get highhhhhhh.

For the first time in 20 years, a federal court will review scientific evidence on the therapeutic value of marijuana, as a legal challenge by a group of doctors, medical professionals and patients makes its way to the U.S. court of appeals in Washington, D.C., next week.

Americans for Safe Access is hoping the challenge will change the government’s classification of marijuana from a dangerous drug with no medical benefits, the Guardian reported.

Sidenote: there is no word yet on what Arizona GOP Congressman Trent Franks has to say about this, and as we all learned this summer, the policies of the entire country (and ESPECIALLY DC) are subject to his approval. In the meantime, we will go see a doctor about our migraines, while your Editrix informs us she will continue to smoke her legal marijuana until the dastardly Nobama administration shutters every pot shop in L.A., because you gotta have a war on something.

[WSJ]

 
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{ 101 comments }

ahnc October 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm

SCOTUS will bogart that joint, my friend.

Incitefully_Joe October 10, 2012 at 2:02 pm

Seriously. It's hard to read any headline that says, "Circuit Court to Consider Science in Matter of…" without instictively reading the impending headline, "Circuit Court Overturned Upon Appeal Of…"

ahnc October 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

It is frustrating, I agree, Incitefully_Joe
I'm just guessing… it will go to SCOTUS eventually and they will smoke it.

Incitefully_Joe October 10, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Justice Kennedy will opine about how he totally knows that some people have smoked up, and then regretted it later, and that's all the "evidence" he needs.

Justice Scalia will be pretty certain that a plain reading of the Constitution means that the founders totally wanted marijuana to be outlawed, it says so right there in Article Shut Up, That's Why.

Justice Kagan will recuse herself.

ahnc October 10, 2012 at 3:38 pm

AMERICA: Where Christian Snake Handling is legal but smoking a weed isn't.

no_gravity October 10, 2012 at 1:51 pm

Nice spliffs.

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I just hope they take into consideration Dylan's Rainy Day Women advice.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

#12 or #35?

Cuz it matters.

Lascauxcaveman October 10, 2012 at 2:19 pm

Al of them (whooooosh … … … coff coff coff coff!) Katy.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 2:22 pm

*pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft* Shureboutdat *whooooosh*

littlebigdaddy October 10, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Will Cheech and Chong be giving amicus briefs?

Lot_49 October 10, 2012 at 2:17 pm

No way will an ex-convict criminal mastermind like Tommy Chong be granted any credence. Thank goodness the law caught him in time, though!

cousinitt October 10, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Lucky they're being represented by their attorney, Dave. Thing is though, the boys still can't find Dave.

PsycWench October 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

I don't want their underwear.

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 1:52 pm

As wild as the court decisions have been lately, I wouldn't be surprised if the Supremes made it a capital offense.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 1:53 pm

OK, who's holding?

Mail a key to:

U.S. Courthouse and

William B. Bryant Annex

333 Constitution Ave., NW Washington, DC 20001

You know, for evidence.

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 2:13 pm

And for votes? Also?

Mittaplasia October 10, 2012 at 2:16 pm

i'll keep mine and mail them some anecdotal evidence/few roaches under a different name.

Dudleydidwrong October 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

The Veep debate will take care of this:

RYAN (Foam-flecked scream): "We cannot permit this deadly drug to ruin our nation!"

BIDEN: "Hey, man…just chill out…easy…easy"

gullywompr October 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Well, there goes our nation's privatized prison industry…

mrpuma2u October 10, 2012 at 2:04 pm

and good riddance. These are the guys that are gearing up for a K street Putsch when this thing finally hits the Supreme court.

PuckStopsHere October 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

If the phrase, "Dave's not here, man!" appears in the opinion of the court, we will know we have won.

noodlesalad October 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Justice Thomas is definitely drinking vodka, not water.

proudgrampa October 10, 2012 at 2:03 pm

No stems, no seeds
That you don't need
Acapulco Gold is
Bad Ass Weed!

SexySmurf October 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

until the dastardly Nobama administration shutters every pot shop in L.A.

INTERCEPTED!

Incitefully_Joe October 10, 2012 at 1:58 pm

TOUCHDOWN SEATTLE!

snowpointsecret October 10, 2012 at 2:03 pm

I can imagine it:

The Supreme Court has decided 5-4 along partisan lines to reverse the decision of an interception. When asked, Scalia commented that it was because Obama is a Bears fan, and giving the Packers the win would at least mildly annoy him.

Lascauxcaveman October 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm

TOUCHDOWN SEATTLE TIMES!

PsycWench October 10, 2012 at 1:54 pm

I think there should be some marijuana samples added to any products that seem appropriate, like Midol, pizza and Pink Floyd albums.

mrblifil October 10, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Shit, now I'm hungry.

LastGasp October 10, 2012 at 1:56 pm

How will "scientific evidence" matter to the right-wingers on the Supreme Court?

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Truly. God will tell them what to do.

PsycWench October 10, 2012 at 2:17 pm

The defense will present that age-old poem:
God is perfect
Man is not
Man made liquor
God made pot.

WhatTheHolyHeck October 10, 2012 at 5:30 pm

I've just found religion.

noodlesalad October 10, 2012 at 1:56 pm

As was clearly established Bogart v. Jones, you must pass the Dutchie Judgment to the left hand side.

Of course Scalia sided with Bogart.

widestanceromance October 10, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Lucky Pierre libel!

Crank_Tango October 10, 2012 at 2:05 pm

And later, in a hotbox session, you can guess where he landed on He who smelt it v. Dealt it.

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 1:56 pm

"dastardly Nobama administration shutters every pot shop in L.A.,"

I understand that Denver is worth the trip.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Sayyyy…isn't that where you live?

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Naw, dude, I live, like, three centuries away, in Texas.

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 2:16 pm

"…Texas, where they *make* white people…"

~ Donald Glover

cousinitt October 10, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Near downtown Denver, I live within 1/8 of a mile of TWO "herbal daze" clinics. Seriously. One shop is located in between a quick check cash store and a Southwest Mex restaurant.

Good Times are had by many in my neighborhood.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 2:27 am

Hell before the feds and the state started cracking down on dispensaries here in my little(ish) city of just over 100,000 here in Michigan, there were 41 in 36 square miles.

Mittaplasia October 10, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Just find a good delivery service; no problem; they're a little harder to catch up with.

Mumbletypeg October 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Wake me up when the stuff no longer puts me to sleep.

RedneckMuslin October 10, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Twelve packs of Bud does that to me. Bud as in Weiser not weed.

Isyaignert October 10, 2012 at 2:39 pm

There are two types of cannabis – indica and sativa. Indica should be used for nighttime activities or pain, as it will make you very relaxed, while sativa is good for daytime use and can actually make you feel energetic. Some strains are being developed that have properties of both plants.

WhatTheHolyHeck October 10, 2012 at 5:31 pm

So I can treat anxiety and not become a zombie? SIGN. ME. UP.

CindynEncinitas October 10, 2012 at 2:49 pm

May I recommend a nice sativa, like Blue Dream, Skywalker or Strawberry Cough.

snowpointsecret October 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

After seeing the picture, I was disappointed that the article wasn't about our Founding Fathers getting high.

Okay, maybe not, but you can't blame a girl for trying.

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man. Didja ever look at a dollar bill, man? There's some spooky shit goin' on there. And it's green too.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 2:09 pm

I'd do Martha just out of respect for that. if I was, you know, married to her

Isyaignert October 10, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Well, the first draft of the US Constitution was written on hemp paper. Also, too, Thomas Jefferson and George Washington were hemp farmers.

We really ought to legalize hemp again – it is an incredibly versatile, useful plant and the most efficient means of turning sunlight into cellulose. Henry Ford made a car out of hemp that ran on hemp gasoline – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54vD_cPCQM8

hagajim October 10, 2012 at 1:58 pm

I was going to comment earlier, but I had to get some munchies.

freakishlywrong October 10, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Today, we are all Towelie.

Mittaplasia October 10, 2012 at 2:12 pm

They killed Kenny; they're coming for Towelie next!

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 1:58 pm

If the case ever gets that "high", it would truly be a wonder to behold a Roberts court decision in favor. Eyes melt, skin explodes…

Callyson October 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm

until the dastardly Nobama administration shutters every pot shop in L.A.

And since there's one on every block here, this war will be about as successful as the War on Poverty was.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 2:29 am

Well, the War on Poverty was half-assed and interrupted intermittently a whole number of times. The War on Drugs has been serious-as-sin for decades on end, now, with no let up. If they want the pot shops gone, they'll be gone, even if they have to call in the National Guard to do it.

starfanglednut October 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm

The proceedings will move veeerrryyyy slowly, what with all the breaks for potato chips and grape soda and episodes of South Park.

ManchuCandidate October 10, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Fast food joints and the makers of Slim Jims and Doritios hope that the Appeals Court will make the correct and wise decision.

delaney_blom October 10, 2012 at 3:41 pm

You are a genius . . . I'm going to supplement my next Doritos Locos taco with a Slim Jim.

Oh Yeah!

Gorillionaire October 10, 2012 at 2:03 pm

One of the funniest things that has ever been on television was when Dave Chappell said on the Fallon show, with a straight face, that he had never smoked a doob before.

Crank_Tango October 10, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Hey, if the original framers had wanted weed to be legal, it would have been legal.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Hemp was, that's the problem. I can't imagine they thought anyone *koffkoffRepublicanskoffkoff* would be STOOPIT enough to criminalize such a useful herb

Crank_Tango October 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Apparently, dope-smoking minorities hadn't been invented yet.

littlebigdaddy October 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Like Jefferson?

PubOption October 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

And his Airplane.

Baconzgood October 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm

We have a borough in the sticks of Eastern PA called Hempfield. It's been there since the 1740's. But nothing of histological significance ever happened in Pennsylvania so we're not "Real Americans".

Blueb4sinrise October 10, 2012 at 2:06 pm

As long as it is labeled correctly, I'm good .

But be careful, or the kids will be playing crazy music.

Kitty,Daisy &Lewis

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 2:19 pm

What with the jazz and the ragtime and all…

FakaktaSouth October 10, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Ah yes the continued debate as to whether we treat people in the US like grown-ups ever. I'm going to California with an aching in my joints, cause arthritis counts, no? I could totally have arthritis, they don't know. And I personally would rather deal with 100 potheads over 1 drunk, and I really really like drunks.

Tommmcatt_Again October 10, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Oh, arthritis counts, love. Rest assured, it counts.

I used to say that about people on estacy, by the way. Better 100 candy ravers than 1 drunk.

Lot_49 October 10, 2012 at 2:18 pm

"Loss of appetite" too. It's a miracle cure!

mrpuma2u October 10, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Just say mild anxiety disorder.

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 2:30 am

Hell, here in Michigan, all you have to do is sneeze to get it since the Republican legislature wants to over-regulate the amendment to the point where it's meaningless, and the people aren't having it, so the thing remains nearly completely unregulated at the moment.

mrpuma2u October 10, 2012 at 2:08 pm

The justices should not be able to rule until they have eaten a "brownie" and watched koyaanisqatsi.

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 2:20 pm

That flick is some heavy shit, maaan. I think."

PubOption October 10, 2012 at 2:33 pm

I have never been able to stay awake until the end, no matter what condition I may have been in. It should be one of the movie selections on any long flight.

An_Outhouse October 10, 2012 at 2:29 pm

or 200 Motels.

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Here's some obscure for ya:

♫ Well, you can smoke it, you can eat it, you can mix it with yer beer,
You can snort it through your nose, and you can hang it in yer ear.
And if you’ve got the notion boys, and if you got the class,
You can chuck it in his feedbag and feed it to your ass.

When your feet are in the stirrups, and your ass is on the ground
‘Cuz the grass that he's been eatin’ is the finest stuff around;
Well, let us all remember boys, and let us not fergit,
Strike a match and light another marijuana cigarette. ♪

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Have you ever seen that funny reefer man?

gurukalehuru October 10, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Hey, where's the LIKE button on this damned thing?

Baconzgood October 10, 2012 at 2:20 pm

*gurgling bong…exhale and cough*

Wha?

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Did you bring enough to share with the class????

GregComlish October 10, 2012 at 2:24 pm

The highest court in the land now has a chance to live up to its name

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

Because Prohibition worked out so successfully back in the 1920s…

BoatOfVelociraptors October 10, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Just like the lack of regulation on Wall Street.

Theywontlisten October 10, 2012 at 2:26 pm

The Constitution was written on hemp paper I do believe. Subliminal message from Bob Marley and the Founding Fathers?

prommie October 10, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Sheepskin

pdiddycornchips October 10, 2012 at 2:28 pm

The constitution makes no mention of marijuana therefore we can assume Scalia will vote to uphold state law. That is unless his strict constructionist crap is just a convenient mask for his wingnuttery. I'm guessing the latter.

Sivart_R1 October 10, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Any idea how this could relate to the production of hemp again, since we can get so much more biomass from hemp per year than we do from trees…

Isyaignert October 10, 2012 at 2:48 pm

At the risk of being redundant, I just posted the following a few comments up from yours, but it's important and you're obviously interested –

We really ought to legalize hemp again – it is an incredibly versatile, useful plant and the most efficient means of turning sunlight into cellulose. Henry Ford made a car out of hemp that ran on hemp gasoline – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54vD_cPCQM8
Well, the first draft of the US Constitution was written on hemp paper. Also, too, Thomas Jefferson and George Washington were hemp farmers.

UnholyMoses October 10, 2012 at 2:44 pm

As someone who's had two back surgeries and, thus, has had to take a ton of pills and, thus, has gastroparesis (Google it), making pot legal would truly and honestly improve my quality of life in ways I can barely imagine.

Which, of course, means it will never, ever be legal. 'Cause gawd would never let me be that happy.

fuflans October 10, 2012 at 4:15 pm

the world would be a better place if scalia and alito were always high.

thomas, wouldn't make much difference.

M. Bouffant October 10, 2012 at 4:32 pm

"I was a hippie
I was a burn-out
I was so wasted
I was out of my mind
I was so wasted
(Still am!)"

P.S.: L.A. City Council, in response to a petition campaign, decided not to further regulate, control & close reefer parlors. (Doesn't stop the Feds, but keeps the local pigs away.)

Jukesgrrl October 10, 2012 at 4:37 pm

OT, but not by much. Speaking of getting high, yesterday was John Lennon's birthday. The great rock blog Scorpio Rising had a piece about John's anti-asshole sentiments that is especially pertinent in this election season. Gimme Some Truth, indeed.
http://scorpio-rising.net/happy-72nd-birthday-joh

ttommyunger October 10, 2012 at 4:53 pm

I am not a judgmental or cruel person, but this Trent Franks asshole just gives hare-lips a bad name.

SayItWithWookies October 10, 2012 at 5:18 pm

The hell with the medical marijuana charade — just make it legal for recreational use and be done with it — that way the pro-legalization folks don't have to play the stupid game of coming up with medically contestable justifications. Yes, I know it has medical value too, but its legality shouldn't be dependent on that because there's always someone around who's going to argue that the science is bogus.

DahBoner October 10, 2012 at 5:46 pm

No, they'll rule that it doesn't have any large-scale, double-blind placebo "industry standard" studies, done on tens of thousands of people, over decades (because ITS FUCKING ILLEGAL TO DO SO), therefore there is no "proof".

2:1 odds, all takers, bubble hash or better…

Negropolis October 11, 2012 at 2:24 am

Clearly, Americans for Safe Access are a false flag, because anyone knows that everything makes it up to the Supremes, these days, because the Supremes are fucking greedy, salivating at the chance to rollback the 21st and 20th centuries.

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