but when did she stop beating her wife?

America’s Favoritest Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Wins Re-Election With Spy Photo Of Opponent Picking Out Dress

Add to Flipboard Magazine.

Sorry, guys, but GAME OVER. Illinois Congressman and paragon of personal responsibility Joe Walsh has handily defeated his opponent even with four weeks or whatever left to go. How did he do this? By holding up, during their debate, a photo of his opponent picking out a dress to wear at the Democratic National Convention, where she would be giving a speech. Wait a minute, she? His opponent’s a lady? And his big GOTCHA is that she wore a dress? Do not try to wrap your puny mortal brains around what goes on in the mysterious silence of Joe Walsh’s skull. He’s ineffable, and unknowable, and a crazy motherfucker. Like God!

Now that we know Joe Walsh is cruising to re-election with a solid 38 percent of the vote, what happened in other fun debates this week? Well, former Governor Linda Lingle of Hawaii, running for Senate, accused her opponent, Mazie Hirono, of personally cheating on Elizabeth Edwards when she had cancer. HOW DARE YOU MAZIE HIRONO?

Wait, what?

Hirono asked Lingle if she regretted statements she made while stumping for Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) during the 2008 general election against President Barack Obama, a native son of Hawaii. Lingle responded by suggesting that Hirono and Democratic Hawaii Sen. Daniel Inouye supported others in the 2008 primary process.

“Congresswoman Hirono, as you know, you didn’t support President Obama, you supported John Edwards. Sen. Inouye didn’t support President Obama, he supported Hillary Clinton.”

Inouye did back Clinton in the contested primary, but the Hirono campaign was quick to point out that Lingle erred on the Edwards matter. Hirono did endorse Edwards in 2004, but not in 2008. In 2008, Hirono waited until late in the campaign to endorse Obama. Hirono was not able to correct Lingle’s mistake during the debate, but her campaign subsequently called the former governor out on the error.

“I think it was clear that you didn’t think he was the best candidate to be president because you supported John Edwards, and I’ve often wondered because you talk so much about women’s issues — and how horribly he treated his late wife — did you ever regret supporting John Edwards for president?” Lingle asked during the debate.

How dare Mazie Hirono not support Barack Obama for president four years before he ran for president? But yeah, John Edwards is a real piece of shit. Point taken, Linda Lingle! See you in the Senate!

Sponsored Intermission

[TPM / RollCall]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf


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  • chascates

    That was no lady; that was Lindsey Graham.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Wearing sensible pumps?

  • hagajim

    John Edwards is a real piece of shit…nice. But methinks he's got nothing on Joe Walsh or David Vitter.

    • emmelemm

      Yeah, Edwards was a piece of shit. But merely a run of the mill piece of shit compared to the Republican standard. Let's see…. cheating on your cancer-ridden wife…

      Newt Gingrich? John McCain? Anyone?

    • DonnyKerabotsos

      Edwards, Vitter and Walsh: Turds of a feather.

      • James Michael Curley

        Ain't gonna see those birds fly.

    • Callyson

      Not to mention that Edwards went to trial. High time we returned the favor for Republican sleazeballs…

  • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

    But Joe Walsh supported The Eagles!

    • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

      Yeah, remember that time he and Glenn beat up Fagen and Becker over losing out on the soundtrack for FM?

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    "I would never buy a dress, even for my wife or daughter.
    excuse me, i meant ESPECIALLY for them."

    • mookwrthwilson

      She should have worn a burlap sack at the convention, like Joe Walsh's kids have to every day to school…

  • Allmighty_Manos

    What would be even more shocking is a secret photo of Walsh actually writing a check to cover his child support.

    • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

      Still not as shocking as his opponents not calling him out on it.

  • http://Wonkette.com MLHencken

    How dare his opponent have the audacity to posses a vagina!

    • ChessieNefercat

      I think that's his real problem. That man has some serious built up rage against women. No snark.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    I bet she also breathes air, like a moocher!

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Anaerobic or GTFO?

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        While he may have a mind made of yeast, he certainly makes a lot of hot air.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Hirono did endorse Edwards in 2004, but not in 2008. In 2008, Hirono waited until late in the campaign to endorse Obama."

    Ah yes. The inscrutable Oriental.

    • emmelemm

      Oooh… nice one.

  • PuckStopsHere

    Unlike God, however, not inerrant.

  • FakaktaSouth

    Just like always, the Dems are being suckers. Buying your OWN dress for the DNC? Please. The Rs got 150k in shiney jackets and whore shoes for Sarah P, and we can't get this lady a dress?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    the mysterious silence of Joe Walsh’s skull.

    'Twas ever thus, with such blowhards as he.

  • calliecallie

    Walsh: “It has become abundantly clear that at this point the only debate Ms. Duckworth is actually interested in having is which outfit she’ll be wearing for her big speech.”

    Duckworth: “And yes, I do sometimes look at the clothes that I wear,” she said. “But for most of my adult life, I’ve worn one color — it’s called camouflage.”

    I think Duckworth won that debate. TROOPS!

    • Blueb4sinrise


    • qwerty42

      I'd have to agree.

  • mavenmaven

    I'm a bit saddened that you didn't present the name of Walsh's opponent. Is it because she's a woman? Plus, her comeback was pretty good.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      As much love as this site gives to Elizabeth Warren, I don't think Tammy Baldwin didn't get mentioned because Editrix is a misogynist. Also, too, everybody here should already know her name or GTFO.

      • mavenmaven

        Except that her name is Tammy Duckworth… :)

        • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

          Oops! And I'm in Chicago! GTFOing as we speak. :)

          EDIT: In my defense, I don't know how my brain farted "Baldwin", but in another post 34 minutes or so ago I did use "Duckworth", and I have not edited it.

          • mavenmaven

            You are always forgiven around here. By me, at least.

        • ChessieNefercat

          I think it's the "Captain" Tammy Duckworth that really gets Joe's panties in a bunch.

  • UnholyMoses

    Dear Joe Walsh,

    Pay your child support yet?

    What's that? No? No you haven't?y You mean you continue to make life more difficult for those of who do take care of our obligations?

    Then fuck you, you fucking piece of shit.


    Non Deadbeat Dads Everywhere

    • MosesInvests

      Amen, brother!

    • CrankyLttlCamperette

      There should be a "Non-Deadbeat Dads for Duckworth" PAC.

  • sullivanst

    I like how the only thing that Joe Walsh said without drawing boos was that he had no business running for Congress.

  • rocktonsam

    something tells me this douche has a bought a dress

    • ChessieNefercat

      And judging from his gaping, yammering maw in just about every photo, he probably gnaws on it.

  • BlueStateLibel

    Stolen from Frazier: "Famous politician caught wearing women's clothing – see Page 4!" (Inside is photo of Margaret Thatcher).

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    “And yes, I do sometimes look at the clothes that I wear,” [Duckworth] said. “But for most of my adult life, I’ve worn one color — it’s called camouflage.”

    Shit, Tammy, that was a good one, but Joe Walsh wears camouflage too — how else do you think he hides from his wife's lawyers?

    • ChessieNefercat

      Yes, but his is not Desert camo. I believe his comes from the specialty Cabelo's catalog for Jerkwads and is the popular "Chickenshit" pattern.

  • Radiotherapy

    He's just jealous because his daughter can't afford a new dress.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Walsh: Tommy Duckworth is a fag. I installed two way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood. And he'd come to the door in a dress.
    Everyone: Dude, it's Tammy.

    • Crank_Tango

      Society made me what I am.

  • Baconzgood

    OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Baconz just bought a new grey suit for a wedding I'll be at next weekend!!!!!!!! Does that mean I'm no longer eligible for public office?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      I wouldn't worry, you've already disqualified yourself by posting here anyway.

  • http://twitter.com/iburl iburl

    Wow, the ghost of Breitbart strikes again! A dress!?! A woman?!? This changes everything. Next he might be able to find a picture of her buying a yucky maxi-pad at the K-Mart.

  • Roy Hobbson

    I mean, c'mon! These Washington fat cats with their "dresses" and "prosthetic limbs to put inside of their dresses," GIVE US OUR COUNTRY BACK!

    • ChessieNefercat

      Yeah! That was just her way of getting out of wearing pantyhose while making sammiches like a real woman!

  • 1stNewtontheMoon

    he was right about one thing. he had no business running for congress. just like every other tea partier.

  • mille derps

    Todd Akin sez it's just not ladylike to run for office.

    • ChessieNefercat

      I wonder if it's ladylike to kick Akin in his tiny little nuts with a titanium prosthetic leg?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Joe Walsh at 2:28: "In many ways I had no business running for Congress 3 years ago" [crowd whoops] tee hee!

  • PsycWench

    How do these people look at themselves in the mirror when they get up in the morning? Do they have a "decent human being" mask that they assume beforehand?

    • WhatTheHeck

      They just don’t give a fuck which, in reflection, makes them feel smug.

    • AbandonHope_

      You assume they cast reflections.

  • Barbara_

    This guy is such a bedazzled nut sack that I can't believe that anyone would vote for him.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      "bedazzled nut sack" OUCH!!

  • Lot_49

    Even out in the dreary exurban flats northwest of Chicago which comprise Walsh's district, it's hard to imagine how 38 percent of likely voters could support this douche bag over an estimable Iraq War veteran like Duckworth.

    • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

      Maybe if he was running against Allen West.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Two words for you – Max Cleland.

      • Lot_49

        Or, come to think of it, John Kerry.

    • MegPasadena

      Three words: woman, Asian and Democrat.

      • Lot_49

        Yeah…to some people those are points in her favor.

  • ahnc

    Duckworth: “And yes, I do sometimes look at the clothes that I wear,” she said. “But for most of my adult life, I’ve worn one color — it’s called camouflage.”

    Fighting Neo-Fascists with Fashion: Prosthetic Limb Division, Category Camouflage

    No one could have said it better than you, Tammy.

  • kittensdontlie

    Just to rub her military service in his face, she will kick his ass using one of her prosthetic legs.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      She should unstrap one of them and beat him about the head and shoulders with it.

  • mille derps

    Anyone else wondering who took the photo of Duckworth shopping?

    • BadKitty904

      I was *just* wondering that very thing…

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Well, I doubt if it was his ex-wife while she was doing the school clothes shopping for their kids.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Maybe Walsh can bribe Duckworth's ob-gyn to take a candid pic of her in the stirrups when she gets her next pap smear. That would seal the vict'ry for him, alright.

  • Come here a minute

    That dress was just a youthful indiscretion.

  • Terry

    Is Fox News going to offer Joe Walsh a job after he gets his arse handed to him in the election? You'd have to imagine, though, that Fox was running out of room has-been teabaggers and neocons. The office staff must have to stack them like cord wood when they're not on the air.

    • mille derps

      Nah- they stable them at the local Golden Corral.

      Also- they don't like to say "has-been". "Previously owned" is the preferred verbiage…

  • Baconzgood


  • BarackMyWorld

    Taking Lingle's point to its logical conclusion, I want to know how could Elizabeth Edwards have supported John Edwards in 2004 and 2008?

  • jesus_vs_gojira

    Silly ladies, always primping in front of the mirror, and/or piloting Black Hawk helicopters.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    before the bagger era, was there ever a period in american history with this many flat out unqualified idiots running for (or actually in) congress?

    i mean, there probably has (i don't know amer hist at all well), but it sure seems like we've reaching new lows.

    anyway, it's fucking depressing and as somebody said here a few days back, after this election (working for both bamz AND tammy) i'm done getting this involved.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Unfortunately, not getting involved will not prevent the unqualified idiots from fucking with our lives.

  • MacRaith

    "He’s ineffable, and unknowable, and a crazy motherfucker."

    Eff the ineffable Joe Walsh. Just eff him. With effing votes.

  • widestanceromance

    By next week, he'll be claiming she's keeping her real legs in a Swiss account until after the election.

    Joe, you know what you have to do: tip her right out of that wheelchair to prove once and for all, she's faking this no-leg thing for votes (and would anyone here put that past him?).

    • BaldarTFlagass

      "Let me tell you something else. I've seen a lot of spinals, Dude, and this gal is a fake. A fucking goldbricker. This gal fucking walks. I've never been more certain of anything in my life!"

  • Baba_NinjaCat12

    Joe Walsh the Voyeurist

  • elviouslyqueer

    I've seen scat porn that was more compelling than Joe Walsh's whiny, self-absorbed pontificating.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      There's porn featuring Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald singing nonsense syllables to improvised melodies?! Oh wait.

      • emmelemm

        Made me laugh! Bless you.

      • Negropolis

        Oh god, that is the best scat porn.

  • http://gorejusgeorge.tumblr.com CheeseBro69

    I implore everyone here to read this hilarious endorsement of Joe Walsh from Erick Erickson's diary http://www.redstate.com/2012/10/09/joe-walsh-for-

  • Callyson

    "Look, folks, in many ways I had no business running for Congress three years ago"

    No time like the present to fix that mistake, Congressman Deadbeat…

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    Walsh's opponent is a woman? That's nothing – I hear the President is black!

  • Crank_Tango

    Pretty cool when you can use evidence that you are a stalker as evidence to convict a democrat lady of being a democrat lady. Republicans have it fucking made.

  • LibrarianX

    Appropriate attire: barefoot. Chained to stove.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    I really don't even get the logic no matter how hard I try to imagine it from Joe's perspective. Showing a picture of Tammy buying a dress is bad why?

    • Come here a minute

      Style over substance. She should wear the same old clothes she's always had. I recommend a bloody uniform.

      • ChessieNefercat

        No no no! She is not allowed to make or demonstrate any reference to her military service! That is unfair bragging!

  • snowpointsecret

    Oh come on, Joe's just jealous that he doesn't look as good in a dress.

    • docterry6973

      He looks better in a dress than you might think. So I imagine, I mean.

  • James Michael Curley

    Great re-election plan Joe. Address a veteran with multiple amputations in a crude and offensive manner who served her country honorably and hold up a photo to imply again that she is using her prosthetics to win votes. Don't forget to remind your strongest supporters she is half Asian.

    If I didn't have serious commitments on election day I would be in Illinois just to do a victory dance with Tammy.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I'd totally do Tammy. The lack of legs is a feature not a bug.

    • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

      Must you?!

  • An_Outhouse

    While Tammy was visiting her constituents in a nursing home, Jow Walsh was giving blow jobs to homeless men in exchange for their SNAP benefit cards as seen in this photo – right here! I don't know if you can see it, because its kind of small, well except this one- this guy is hung like a horse but Joe goes the extra mile and appears to deep throat him like a champ. Joe Walsh – always willing to relax his throat muscles for you!

  • DahBoner

    Joe Walsh: "I likes them wimmins. Vote John Edwards"

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Is Walsh really running a campaign, or is it some kind of stealth/reality HBO farce comedy series?!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    The Hawaii item was interesting, but this site should concentrate on American politics.

  • CapnFatback

    Two-and-a-half years later, I've done everything I said was going to do. I sleep on my couch in Washington . . .

    As if he had any other choice.

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Ineffable? Isn't that what Silvio Berlusconi said about Angela Merkel?

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Having watched the whole video, I'm surprised nobody has taken the opportunity to point out that Tammy Duckworth could show "Barry" how to "grow a pair." Much to my chagrin as an Obamabot, she could.

  • LibertyLover

    Hell, I supported John Edwards when he was all like "there are 2 Americas and that ain't fair to the middle class" and "there should be health care in this country." But after he left the campaign trail to be a Richard to Elizabeth and put a Richard into his Hunter mistress and have a love campaign baby, yeah, I pretty much quit supporting him too.

    But as Richard Cheney would say: "So?"

  • Serolf_Divad


    That shit about "Yeah, I was picking out a dress. I think I deserve to after spending the last 20 YEARS OF MY LIFE IN OLIVE DRAB FATIGUES PROTECTING YOUR PANSY ASS" was fucking brilliant! She made this punk her BITCH. That's a comeback, Barry… that's what a comeback looks like.

  • mbobier

    Well, after all, a REAL lady wouldn't have had to buy a dress from some hifalutin' store, 'cuz she would've made it herself, after spinning her own yarn and weaving her own cloth, of course. The way, for example, the exquisitely humble and down-to-earth Lady Ann Romney does.

    Oh, wait….

  • TribecaMike

    Either women don't yet have voting rights in Walsh's district or he's just a pathetic drunk.

  • ttommyunger

    I see a fourth member of Faux & Fiends in the works, right after Tammy hands Joe his ass come November. Perfect fit!

  • docterry6973

    Looking at photos from Tammy's convention speech, it looks like she bought matching shoes. Walsh is probably saving that photo for his final round of attack ads.

  • spareme

    I wish I still lived in Chicago so I could vote against this fucking guy. Wondering why someone hasn't beat the living crap outta him by now.

  • glamourdammerung

    What war on women?

  • ChessieNefercat

    And what was with his "I was in a parade" claim anyway? I've seen parades. I'll bet every real estate agent in town and their little tykes were in the parade too. With magnetic signs slapped on their slow moving cars. Whoopdedoo.

  • Lynne

    My very favorite thing about Joe Walsh is that every time he says something nasty about Tammy Duckworth, it reminds me to send her another campaign contribution. Thanks, Joe, at least you're good for something.

  • Negropolis

    Did Linda Lingle support Barack Obama in 2008?

    Really, Linda, fuck you. You are the last person that should be getting personal when you've been the victim of rumor mills and personal shots, yourself.

    BTW, you hear how they booed his ass when he pulled the stunt? Priceless.