So, this Randall Terry ad, airing in Florida, is sort of like those commercials for DishTV or whatever that draw a line from not having cable to being in prison forever for raping and murdering your son-in-law? Those are supposed to be funny (though they exclusively fail). This one, we think, is DEADLY SERIOUS. In this DEADLY SERIOUS campaign ad, Randall Terry is running against Samuel L. Jackson, because Jackson supports President B. Barry Bamz? But Jackson also supports Planned Parenthood? (Pro-tip to Terry: Obama supports Planned Parenthood too! Why not just cut out the middle man?) And Planned Parenthood was founded by Margaret Sanger, who in the 1920s and ’30s was a eugenicist, and fairly racist! (Though maybe not any more racist than everyone else in the ’20s and ’30s? And actually worked a lot with black ministers and stuff? Here, have some Wik!) Therefore, Samuel L. Jackson supports genociding black babies! STOP MURDERING BLACK BABIES SAMUEL L. JACKSON!!!!

Let’s remember, together, what the path of the righteous man entails, so that maybe you can stop murdering black babies:

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee.

Oh shit! Samuel L. Jackson cold murdering errrrbody!

It’s official: Planned Parenthood is the gateway drug to HOMICIDE! Next thing you know, you’re shooting Marvin in the face.


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  • Barbara_

    I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking ballot!

  • nounverb911

    Randall Terry's mom could use some retroactive birth control.

    • gullywompr

      Is she the one with all the shit in her face?

    • Mittaplasia

      He was born with a coat hanger sticking out of his nose, so you can't say she didn't try.

  • Come here a minute

    I have had enough of this motherfucking Randall Terry and his motherfucking television ads.

  • mrpuma2u

    Check out the big racism on Randall!

    • BadKitty904

      Go, Speed Racist, go!

  • Terry

    Shouldn't Randall Terry be in jail already? One of the many crimes he's provoked against clinics and doctors should have gotten him at least a few charges.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Randall Terry better watch it or Samuel L will send Iron Man and his buddies to come over to his church and flat out fuck him up.

  • eggsacklywright

    Put the gun down, Hunny Bunny.

  • GregComlish

    "I'm sick of these mutherfucking blahs on these mutherfucking campaigns!"

    • GregComlish

      One minute after the post is up and I'm already consigned to being the third Snakes on a Plane reference.

      • eggsacklywright

        Frustratin' innit?

      • +1 for Effort

      • BaldarTFlagass

        In your defense, no one would have recognized a quote from Deep Blue Sea.

  • gullywompr

    Yeah, but Obamacare's free birth control kinda makes the whole abortion wedge issue go away, don't it?

    Vote Obama – eliminate abortion.

    • But gully, that would be like doing preventive maintenance on the crumbling infrastructure. By doing 'worst first' you allow the crumblies to keep on crumbling. Or saving some pennies by not checking / changing the oil in your car, truck, or scooter.

      • gullywompr

        Even Paul Ryan has the time to do the math on this one:

        Universally available birth control = no unwanted pregnancies = no abortions = the end of the wedge issue.

        At least they still have gays and browns…

        • Mittaplasia

          …and olds and blahs and poors, oh, my!

        • BaldarTFlagass

          "= the end of the wedge issue."

          Which is the last thing they want.

          • gullywompr

            You, sir, have mastered my class.

            In all their time since Roe v. Wade, the GOP has done precisely zilch to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies or abortions. Zilch. There is only one conclusion to draw from decades of this inaction.

          • That the only f***ing that the GOP wants to occur in America is the ass f***ing they do politically?

          • gullywompr

            I would have said that power is more important to them than ideology, but you have the basic idea.

  • FakaktaSouth

    "Hey, fetus might taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know, cause I wouldn't eat the filthy mother fucker." Or something like that.

  • Freewayblogger

    What have future generations ever done for us?

    when things get bad enough, others will join me…

  • memzilla

    It's like Randall Terry took off his hood and sheet, hung it on the nearest uppity n****r, and pointed and shouted "RAZIST!!!1!!!"

    Nathan Bedford Forrest FAIL.

    (I'm sorry, Mr. Terry, that'a a plot point from O Brother Where Art Thou, not a political campaign.)

  • hagajim

    Of course Sam is stone cold killing everyone – Pulp Fiction and all yo!

  • BaldarTFlagass What does a former Denver Bronco and current ESPN NFL analyst have to do with any of this?

  • cheetojeebus

    Yeah, like i'm going to click on that? nice try.

  • I like how there's apparently no qualtitative difference between a eugenicist who wants to improve the population by popularizing birth control and someone who wants to load Jews into boxcars and ship them off to a big shower in Poland — notwithstanding that Margaret Sanger's goals have been null and void for decades.

    Also, "iniquities." Only a damn sissy is beset by inequities — and in that case he should call the consumer protection hotline.

  • Goonemeritus

    Randall Terry doesn’t seem to be elevating the quality of this debate.

  • HouseOfTheBlueLights

    Um, is Samuel L. Jackson running for office? I am confused.

    • gullywompr

      He's black, so whatever he says is the same thing as Obama saying it. Geez, do I have to explain everything to ya?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Good thing for Obama that Malcolm X isn't around anymore…

        • gullywompr

          That's OK, Rev. Wright is filling in.

        • HistoriCat

          Or as Obama likes to call him, "dad".

    • kittensdontlie

      He had better run, soon those zombie black fetuses will be aching to eat his brains..

  • Beowoof

    Damn wouldn't that be an awesome movie scene, with Samuel L. laying his vengeance on Randall Terry for being a giant douche. Maybe even bring in Ving Rhames to get medieval on his ass. Of course that would be with votes.

    • elviouslyqueer

      I was thinking the exact thing. And protip to Randall Terry: you do NOT want to mess with Samuel L. Jackson. Samuel L. Jackson will FUCK YOUR SHIT RIGHT ON UP.

      • Or, as Elmo McElroy would say "You're gonna kiss the sun and taste the motherfuckin' rainbow."

    • Or inviting Randall to sit in the back of Vinnie Vega's 1974 Nova…

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Well, I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Every time my fingers touch brain, I'm Superfly T.N.T., I'm the Guns of the Navarone! IN FACT, WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOIN' IN THE BACK? YOU'RE THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO SHOULD BE ON BRAIN DETAIL! We're fuckin' switchin'! I'm washin' the windows, and you're pickin' up this nigger's skull!

  • It’s official: Planned Parenthood is the gateway drug to HOMICIDE!

    But mainly just for the protestors.

  • Roy Hobbson

    "How are you not getting this perfectly logical ad? CONNECT THE DOTS!!!!" -Rick Santelli

  • GemlikeFlame

    Randall Terry is such a consummate horse's ass that even the most frothing anti-abortionists want nothing to do with him, even less so after this prime specimen of the vast love Jesus had for mankind disowned his own child for the mortal sin of being gay.

  • "Did you see a sign on my garage that says Dead Fetus Storage?"

  • no_gravity

    Randall Terry needs to Wake the Fuck Up.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Randall Terry needs to Wake Shut the Fuck Up.


  • I can't wait for Terry Randall to end up in a maximum security prison and be crammed into a take-away salad container like the fetus he carries around.

    With votes, I mean.

    • BadKitty904

      He'll certainly be the most popular boy on his cellblock.

  • By the way, what political office is Samuel L Jackson running for, besides "Muthafucking Badass"?

    • PsycWench

      Maybe they are just literally running, until one shoves the other into a ditch (with votes). My money's on Jackson.

    • BadKitty904

      Secretary of Wrath.

  • ElPinche

    What's with all the yummy sesame shrimp footage?

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Hm, I thought that was our South Texas specialty, fajeetus.

      • ElPinche

        LOL. Well played Sir Baldar.

  • PsycWench

    Why is Randall Terry free to walk the streets and create ads? I think he needs supervision.

  • those commercials for DishTV or whatever that draw a line from not having cable to being in prison forever for raping and murdering your son-in-law?

    You mean like "Don't wake up in a ditch?"

    DirecTV, a branch of the Murdoch propaganda "entertainment" conglomerate.

    • b[redact]opple

      Yeah. I'm glad Trixie called them out. Those ads are just terrible, but for some reason they keep making new ones.

  • Sociopathic movement hack is sociopathic.

  • Baconzgood

    "I have had it with these motherfucking black babies on this motherfucking plane!"

  • gross out anti abortion ads always work better when the voiceover sounds like a local used car dealer.

  • Indiepalin

    I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?

    • FakaktaSouth

      "Allow me to retort."

      ALso, "say what again," "Naw baby, it's all kool and the gang," and "I used the same fuckin' soap you did and when I got finished, the towel didn't look like no goddamn Maxi-Pad!"

      "Normally, both your asses would be dead as fucking fried chicken, but you happen to pull this shit while I'm in a transitional period so I don't wanna kill you, I wanna help you. But I can't give you this case, it don't belong to me. Besides, I've already been through too much shit this morning over this case to hand it over to your dumb ass."

      Ahem. Sorry, that is absolutely one of my most favorite characters in one of my most favorite movies ever. Okay. As you were.

      • Indiepalin

        A Royale with Cheese !!

  • noodlesalad

    Everybody be cool, this is an election robbery! Any of you fucking pigs MOVE towards the voting booth, and we'll execute every single last one of you. Sincerely, GOP and Honey Bunny Terry.

  • Radiotherapy

    But I'm trying, Ringo. I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd.

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    Randall Terry should go the fuck to sleep.

    • Mittaplasia

      A dirt nap…with votes, of course.

  • GregComlish

    Hey, maybe if you're going to try to label somebody a racist you shouldn't start with the meanest, baddest, blackest person on the planet.

    • BadKitty904

      Look, if you're going to be all rational about this stuff…

  • Samuel L. Jackson?
    Mr. Terry, you are messing with the wrong man!
    Samuel WILL cut a bitch!!
    (with votes)

  • BarackMyWorld

    "Wow…did they ever just decide to fuck with the wrong guy."

    -Captain Obvious

    • carlgt1

      yeah it would be like bothering to make an anti-Clint Eastwood or anti-Chuck Norris ad!

    • BadKitty904

      I'm hoping for a YouTube vid of Mr. Jules striking down upon him with great vengeance and furious anger…of votes…

  • For some reason, Randall Terry fails to mention that there are nevertheless pretty good odds that any babies that Samuel L. Jackson personally aborts were probably going to be the next Space-Hitler anyway.

  • sailingthestyx

    actually, the Dish TV commercials are hilarious…

  • BaldarTFlagass

    OT, but Alex Karras died.

    "Mongo only pawn in game of life death."

    • Steroids. Not nearly as much fun as recreational drugs

      • BaldarTFlagass

        I think he was in the game before steroids saw much use. Obit says he had dementia from all the head-banging. Plus kidney failure.

        • He and Alzado, who was a known 'roider, had nearly overlapping careers. Dianabol was introduced in 1958.

          You can figure out the rest.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            I defer to your superior 'roid knowledge. Still, age 77 ain't all that bad…

          • Fuck! I'm like twenty years younger than Karras! I'd like to think I've got at least 40 years left on the planet! 77 is young nowadays.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            I visited my 96 year old granddad a couple months ago. His mind is totally there but the senses are failing him. He isn't really living, he's just existing. I don't think I want to live that long.

          • Well, if you check out this week's Nobel Prize in biology, we may both be very very happy at one hundred.

          • Steverino247

            Happy at 100? Only if I can still spurt all over my wife's tits.

          • BaldarTFlagass

            At 100, "drool" might be the verb, not "spurt."

          • Steverino247

            And thus, unhappy at 100.

          • fatbob54

            Me too, where's your wife?

  • carlgt1

    I love the percentage bar that mixes two separate things and just "adds" them up! RepugliKKKan fuzzy math in full effect! Also wasn't Terry the "Christian" who was basically the bin Laden of abortion clinics – telling his psycho followers/bombers/etc "just let a wave of hatred wash over you — for Jeebus!"

    Also slamming Planned Parenthood for ancient Margaret Sanger myths is like when they try and say the Dems are "KKK" because they were 100 years ago. It's like modern history of the past 50 years passes them by!

  • pdiddycornchips

    Margaret Sanger was a racist cunt and Randall Terry is both a cunt and a racist. Randall Terry and the late Margaret Sanger share much in common. Margaret Sanger founded Planned Parenthood, therefore, Randall Terry supports Planned Parenthood!

  • eggsacklywright

    Say "what" again. Say "what" again. I dare you. I double-dare you, motherfucker. Say "what" one more goddamn time.

    • UnholyMoses


  • Allmighty_Manos

    Too late, all the Pulp Fiction lines have been used up. How about "Yes fetuses deserve to die and I hope they burn in hell!"

  • ttommyunger

    I handled the aborted and dismembered fetus' pretty well, but that last image: my God, that is one hideous creature!

  • cassamandra

    Hey, did you know the founding fathers had _slaves_? Don't vote for Americans!

  • Samuel Jackson -> Planned Parenthood –> Obama —> Sesame Street –> Big Bird –>

    Big Bird is Samuel Jackson?

  • What do they call a whopper?

    • Steverino247

      Any campaign statement by Mitt Romney.

  • StealthMuslin

    Because nobody loves black babies more than the Republican Party.

  • LibertyLover

    Next thing you know, you’re shooting Marvin in the face.

    Hey, Hey, Hey! THAT was an accident.

  • Tommmcatt_Again

    Was that honey glaze on the one fetus? Anybody have the recipie?

    • BadKitty904

      Jeez, guys, I'm tryin to eat my lunch here, OK?

  • belmontreport

    Did they use the Clarissa Explains it All guitar riff?

  • JustPixelz

    It takes a brave man to tell blah people someone is selling them. Or an asshole.

  • billy_reuben

    Aborting 1920's and 1930's babies? I knew it, I KNEW it! Samuel L. Jackson is a TIME TRAVELER!!!11!!

  • Tommmcatt_Again

    Incidentally, I would love to be a fly on the wall when somebody tells the awesome and majectic Samuel L. Jackson that some psuedo-religious peon called him an "Uncle Tom".

    • BadKitty904

      "Aw, hell to tha muthafuckin no, he didint…!"

  • LibertyLover

    Never trust an advertisement that speaks too fast for you to understand what they are saying.

  • mavenmaven

    When a person shows dead black fetuses with that much glee, you know deep down he must get a kick out of it.

  • Samuel Jackson and Randall Terry actually have a lot in common if you are talking about the years when Samuel Jackson was a poorly functioning crack addict.

  • CommieLibunatic

    Randall Who? (just replace the picture of Bing Crosby with Terry for my feelings on the matter)

  • fawkedifiknow

    If you tried to catalog every leap of logic that Republicans engage in every day of year, and only list them once – repeating idiocies not included – you could lay them end to end and go around the world twice.

    True fact .

  • jzgplj

    I am truly surprised no one has offed Randall Terry. He's such a douchebag.

  • fatbob54

    Calling Samuel L. Jackson an Uncle Tom is like calling Terry Randal (or Randy Terrel or whatever the fuck his name is) a man of god.

  • Randall Terry, Fetus Whisperer

  • TribecaMike

    I don't know about Randall Terry, but just hearing Samuel L. Jackson say "fuck" makes me wanna make babies.

    Signed, a father of one hundred and sixty children

  • Theywontlisten

    Cause they got the metric system

  • Theywontlisten

    Sam Jackson should moderate the next debate

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