you can never be too bitch or too thin

It’s Okay, You Guys, Sarah Palin Is Just ‘Writing’ A Fitness ‘Book’

She ain't heavy, she's your motherIt seems like just yesterday we were worried about Sarah Palin! The wraithlike skin-sack of hollow bones clomping around Los Angeles this week was not the GILF you’ve hatefucked in your brainpan so many times throughout the years, but instead gave us a huge anti-boner of sad. (That this led to accusations in the comments that we were “body-shaming” is too bad, since it was by far the nicest thing we’d ever written about Palin, and also since this is not Jezebel. What’s next, accusations of cisgendered heteronormative hegemony?) But it is okay, you guys! People magazine did the hard work of asking Palin, what the fuck is up with your bone-sack? And Palin replied!

In an email to PEOPLE on Tuesday, Palin – who’s known to treat houseguests to a smorgasbord of homemade treats such as moose chili, chocolate cream pies, pecan pies and lemon meringue pies – wrote, “Our family is writing a book on fitness and self-discipline focusing on where we get our energy and balance as we still eat our beloved homemade comfort foods!”

Palin, 48, says she will discuss the topics in “our unique and motivating book.”

“We promise you what we do works and allows a fulfilling quality of life and sustenance anyone can enjoy,” she adds.

It is unclear if Palin has a contract for the upcoming book or when the work will be published.

That’s cute, People, the little bitch-meow at the end, but no. It is not “unclear” if Palin has a contract for the upcoming book — if she had a contract, it would have been Drudge siren news like it always is whenever the brood grifts its way into another paycheck, like we hear about whatever idiot reality thing the phlegmatic Todd’s signed up for this time. As for when the work will be published, we are going to say “never,” because that might entail writing a book, since we don’t think “fitness” is one of Palin Family Ghostwriter Nancy French’s topics of expertise.

As for their homemade treats, we can’t imagine lemon meringue goes well with secret bags of Taco Bell consumed alone in her room with the door closed, but eh. We could be very wrong about that!

In any case, we are glad (you say) you are okay, Sarah Palin. Maybe soon you can get back to being hotter than Julianne Moore played you, which is the first statement in history that came out of Bristol Palin’s mouth with which we can agree!

[People, via PoliticalWire; pix from Celebitchy courtesy of Fame/Flynet]

About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Comments

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  • BaldarTFlagass

    "Fun and Fit On An Eight-Ball a Week"

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Lou Sarah is our heroine heroin. Just so much fun to needle.

    • BadKitty904

      Funny. My very first thought was the "Columbian Diet," too…

    • UnholyMoses

      An 8-ball a week?

      I'd give it an afternoon.

      • thatsitfortheother1

        Still, mega-win!

  • http://facethesuncastnoshadow.wordpress.com/ Mumbletypeg

    Can't I still blame Trig for AOT,K?

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    Can I suggest a title: "FitMess With US Amercia's Sexiest Grannie"

  • Goonemeritus

    “Meth Your Way to a Sexier You”- I predict it will fly off the shelves in the Confederate States.

    • tessiee

      Right next to "Smoke Yourself Thin", "The Bible so that even YOU can Understand It", and whatever Jerome Corsi has pooped out recently.

  • CrankyLttlCamperette

    accusations of cisgendered heteronormative hegemony?

    I had to look this up. And I was an English Major for chrissakes!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Cissie!

    • UnholyMoses

      You too, eh?

    • cheetojeebus

      and ???

    • thatsitfortheother1

      That's why you are here and not over at HuffyFluffy.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Translation: "pussyhurtness."

      • MosesInvests

        ROTFLMAO!

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

      So what you're saying is that you don't use tumblr?

    • tessiee

      We're all English Majors, or former English Majors.
      That's why we're all here, instead of at jobs.

      • CindynEncinitas

        Fuck ta tha yeah, bitches! UCI, '86!

        • SnarkOff

          I just have to shout out to an Encinitas girl. I'm from those parts, also.

          • CindynEncinitas

            Oh, hai! Little pieces of water are falling on me from somewhere above me. Don't know why… what's going on???

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    She looks every minute of her 70 years old.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    “Our family is writing a book on fitness and self-discipline"

    I can't wait to read Bristle's chapter.

    • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

      It will be the griftiest story ever told.

    • Terry

      "Yes! Taco Bell CAN be a part of a healthy diet!"

      • BadKitty904

        Those *ARE* K-Mart bags she's carrying, right?

        • OneDollarJuana

          I saw Wal-Mart. Or maybe Bi-Mart.

        • delaney_blom

          Yep. With a sixer of IBC Diet Root Beer.

          • BadKitty904

            And the economy pack of Ho-hos. (Does K-Mart even carry Chupa Chups?)

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      That's a generous way to describe a footnote.

    • eggsacklywright

      I wanna see Pipette's chapter, too.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Discipline comes in many forms, grasshopper.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Just scroll up the page.

  • Indiepalin

    Sarah Palin is a meth.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      You mean Tharah, right?

      —Biggus

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      The thure ith.

    • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

      You definitely sell her short. As a failed ex half-governor, failed Vice Presidential candidate, failed Fox News "commentator", failed reality star, failed (had other people)write( for he)r, and soon-to-be failed nutrition guru, Sarah Palin is quite clear a true polymeth.

      • Indiepalin

        Sarah be breaking bad.

  • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

    When I think self-discipline, I think Palins! can't wait!

    • kittensdontlie

      Self & discipline are unrelated ingredients of a Palin word salad that was tossed, and the two words fell together by accident.

  • Terry

    If she wasn't pure feral evil, I'd almost feel sorry for her. She was the center of attention and now she's a punch line, employable only on Fox News. Even reality tv has had enough of her. The weight loss and focus on working out isn't really a surprise. She's a strong candidate for an eating disorder. When you are losing control of everything else, at least you can control your diet and your weight. Sarah's got a ticket for the "thinspiration" train.

    • BadKitty904

      We can only hope.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      And when reality tv has had enough of you, it's time to reassess your life.

      • Gleem McShineys

        Yes, introspection and deep thinking, just like discipline, are terms I can't help but associate with the name Palin.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      That was exactly my take on it. A narcissistic rage/control thing.

    • MegPasadena

      The sad thing is now somewhere some publisher probably thinks it is a good idea to ask her to write the said book and says, "why didn't we think about that before?" It will include a lot of sexy photos of the Palin gals for all the old men to enjoy.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    “Our family is writing a book on fitness and self-discipline focusing on where we get our energy and balance as we still eat our beloved homemade comfort foods!”

    The entire family is writing the book? Including that rather zaftig little homewrecker, Bristol?

    • eggsacklywright

      Brisket's chapter will be the chubbiest.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        And jiggliest. Also, most in denial. Too. Also.

      • tessiee

        And it when you open the book to that chapter, a tiny little booklet will accidentally fall out.

        • bobbert

          Oh my.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    She will have written two more books than she's read…. right?

    • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

      Written for her, you mean?

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      "How many books have you written?"

      "All of them, Katie."

  • Rosie_Scenario

    It took her a while to hit the mother lode of Grifting — diet books. What better to peddle to her obese, Hoveround-bound, teabagging, devotees.

    • eggsacklywright

      Hominy grifts? Several, I'm guessing.

      • DahBoner

        Sarah Palin Brand Moose Lard?

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Nah. She still needs to do an exercise DVD, which will expand her audience to include fapping Young Republicans.

      • Gleem McShineys

        And then, Rich Lowry's yoga pants couldn't even be folded to put into the washer.

  • upthruster

    I predict folks who follow the books plan will follow Palin's example to the tee and quit half way through.

  • FakaktaSouth

    “Our family is writing a book on fitness and self-discipline focusing on where we get our energy and balance as we still eat our beloved homemade comfort foods!”

    Still eating comfort foods? Ew so this is a book full of tips on how to make yourself throw up? I guess if anyone can induce vomiting, it's this crew. Just, no thank you.

    • zumpie

      No, no it's just a book on how to be a meth addict

    • prommie

      Its kinda like us writing a book about clean living and self-denial, isn't it?

      • FakaktaSouth

        I work out! To counteract the dirty? living and indulgence. You know, ACTUAL balance.

        • prommie

          Balance is important, especially during the more fancy moves.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    huge anti-boner of sad

    Errrr, Editrix, is there something you need to, um, reveal here?

    Please?

    • eggsacklywright

      Debbie Downer's brother, Dick.

    • prommie

      She said "anti-boner," the Hegellian antithesis of boner, you silly.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Well, maybe if David Hume couldn't outconsume him…

    • Tommmcatt_Again

      I was confused because I thought the term "huge anti-boner of sad" only applied to Joe Lieberman.

      • tessiee

        Lieberman is the small, droopy, wrinkly anti-boner of sad.

  • OneDollarJuana

    “… we still eat our beloved homemade comfort foods!”

    Like crow and humble pie?

    • BadKitty904

      Moose-n-meth casserole?

    • tessiee

      In order to eat humble pie, they would have to have a decent sense of shame to begin with.

  • no_gravity

    What kind of skeletal fitness is this? It's still meth.

  • http://wonkette.com ChillBill

    "The Jane Fundie Workout"

  • hagajim

    I actually think she looks better at that angle than the one yesterday. And, if you throw on top that she's in LaLa land – I'm guessing she's just trying to assimilate. Plus its hard to shoot moose from a chopper in SoCal.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      yeah i'm not quite sure what all this fuss is about. she looks LA thin, but better than without the trowel's worth of make up she usually applies.

      and i may be shallow, but i'd be thin than look like bristol.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Plus its hard to shoot moose from a chopper in SoCal

      Why? It's not like Melissa McCarthy can afford a Ferrari yet….

      • tessiee

        What, that ditz who thinks she can diagnose autism because she used to go out with Jim Carrey?

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          That's Jenny. Melissa is the rather…rotund…Emmy-award winning actress

        • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

          As a practicing autist, may I just say that the new-agey "crystal child" podunk she was babbling about before she jumped on the anti-vaxer train was only slightly less annoying.

          I mean, way less awful in terms of the public health implications, but still.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    The wraithlike skin-sack of hollow bones clomping around Los Angeles

    The ringwraith skin-sack of hollow bones clomping around Los Angeles

    / fixed

    • UnholyMoses

      NAZGUL LIBEL!

      • tessiee

        If you guys are ever single, I would like to fix you up with whoever described Nancy Grace as an Uruk-hai.

    • mavenmaven

      "We are the hollow men
      We are the stuffed men
      Leaning together
      Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!…"

  • PsycWench

    If I were concerned about staying fit, the first thing I'd do is toss any shoes that posed the threat of a broken ankle. But that's just me.

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    It's not the fitness part that confuses me, it's the self-discipline part — is that the part that sustains Sarah through her $150,000 raid on the local Nordstrom, or the part that allows Bristol to have her own private fuck room in the Palin household, or one of the other ones (Henbane? Atlatl? I forget) to be a Wasilla cokehound? And don't even get me started on Trig's gun collection.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    If her book-writing goes anything like her governorship, she'll get half-way through the first chapter and then quit.

  • One_Man_Band

    "The wraithlike skin-sack of hollow bones"

    Will this diet book be published by EC Comics? She looks like if the Cryptkeeper got a makeover.

  • vrouch

    She looks like the Crypt Keeper.

  • UnholyMoses

    K-Mart sucks.

  • magic_titty

    Anyone check for track marks on her forearms?

  • anniegetyerfun

    She can expand and contract all she wants, but I'm disappointed (perpetually) in her clothing. Look, honey, you're a young grandma, but you either have to really bring the crazy (animal prints, clear heels, giant fake diamond rings) or tone it down (meet my friends, tasteful black flat and pencil skirt – they are happy to make your acquaintance).

    Those wedges, especially paired with that shirt, are meant to be carried by an 18 year-old sorority pledge during her first walk of shame home from frat row.

    • FakaktaSouth

      I will admit in full mean girl fashion, that after this dramatic drop, I do look forward to the re-loading. Yo-yo-dieting ain't for play. And I hate her clothes in perpetuity. It's like she also quit in the middle of her fashion consultation.

    • BadKitty904

      Or a girl pulling a shift behind the local truck stop. Either way – *tacky*.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Oh, no, she's in fashion. It's a way for trashy grandmas to keep up the appearance of having just driven away from fraternity row after ravishing some young clueless stud.

      Cuz, you know, they can't deal with a man.

    • PsycWench

      You know this by careful observation. Right?

      • tessiee

        I have a…
        friend…
        who's done that.

    • tessiee

      It's not that we're supposed to give up on trying to look attractive after a certain age; it's that there's a middle ground between elastic-waist polyester pants and leopard-print tube tops. Sarah is one bottle of hair dye away from being Petunia from "Futurama":
      http://futurama.wikia.com/wiki/File:Petunia.png

      • anniegetyerfun

        I just feel like if she wants to be tacky, she should really freaking go for it. This is such half-assed tacky.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      She's going for the Gemma Morrow look.

  • Baconzgood

    14:32 and counting Sarah.

  • Dildeaux

    She has ugly toes. Just sayin.

    • thatsitfortheother1

      Oh, that's not blue polish?

  • johnnymeatworth

    Drugging With The Stars?

  • zumpie

    Sooo, was this photo placed next to one of her "hawt" 2008 pics on TMZ's "Look she's all growed up" section???

  • http://www.marionstein.net Self-Uploader

    Let me get this straight — You posted pictures of some poor innocent civilian and accused her of being La Palin? Shame on you, Wonkette.

  • SoBeach

    Maybe soon you can get back to being hotter than Julianne Moore played you

    Back in '08 Palin was smokin' hot. Still not as hot as Julianne Moore though.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    So is she 'writing' a book on how to keep fit or throw a fit? Inquiring minds want to know.

    From the little I saw of them the few times I clicked thru "Sara Palin's Alaska" if they were going to a gym it must have had an all-you-can-eat pudding bar.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    At least the meth manufacturing industry is alive and well in America, thanks to Sarah apparantly.

    • Mittaplasia

      What do you think got the unemployment level under 8%? Better living through chemicals…yaaaaay!

    • Isyaignert

      Isn't Wasilla the meth capital of Alaska?

  • freakishlywrong

    Why do I get the feeling that the book will blame Obama for her weight, (gain or loss).

  • Radiotherapy

    With a foreword by Paul Ryan.

  • James Michael Curley

    Duck! SHe saw us.

  • mavenmaven

    The Cougar Quitter Love America For Cash Diet Book

  • BaldarTFlagass

    So, is she going to starve out the hookworms?

    • CindynEncinitas

      A good-sized coke booger could make her list to starboard!

  • Sacanagem

    The change in lighting and the movement of her "shopping" bags leads me to one conclusion: she's hitting every Kmart in Southern Cali & cleaning out their Sudafed supply. QED, bitch.

  • fawkedifiknow

    She looks like she's wearing clothes she just bought at K-Mart.

    • An_Outhouse

      bought, stole, five finger discount, whatever.

  • thatsitfortheother1

    Man, I never went to bed with anything like that.

    Woke up with a few…

  • fishskicanoe

    48 is the new 80.

    • tessiee

      pffffft!
      *dismissive hand flap*
      She's 48 like I'm a Size Zero.

      • emmelemm

        I was gonna say, she's less than 10 years older than I am? Fuck that noise.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Well, it's obvious her book isn't going to have anything in it about hairstyles.

  • LibertyLover

    Opportunist in chief.

  • OneDollarJuana

    Sarah's so good at quitting, maybe she has just quit eating?

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    I'd do her.

    With a hammer.

    Of votes.

  • LibertyLover

    I don't think a diet of monster drinks, jujubes and luna bars is really all that healthy.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    wraithlike skin-sack of hollow bones

    you know, Nazgûl cause unconsciousness, nightmares, and eventually death.

  • elviouslyqueer

    “Our family is writing a book on fitness and self-discipline focusing on where we get our energy and balance as we still eat our beloved homemade comfort foods!”

    IOW, "Binging and Purging: 50 Hurls to Flatter Abs."

  • BadKitty904

    This is turning into some weird, backwoods version of "Mommy Dearest" meets "Sunset Boulevard"…but without the superficial beauty or the talent… Or the pathos…

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    "How To Stay Fit While Exploiting Your Children For Fame And Profit"

  • JadedPreppy

    Too bad "The Insanity Workout" is already trademarked.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Dementor libel!

  • yellojkt

    She actually has some cred in this field. She can run a marathon faster than Paul Ryan.

    • YouFail4eva

      I C WUT U DID THER!

  • prommie

    Manufactured housing development caucasian refuse.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Or as my Latino brah's would say, basura blanco.

  • stitch94133

    Whew. I always loved the way Sarah strings the latest pop phrases together, whether or not they make sense…

  • ahnc

    Geez, give Sarah a break. Sarah is so thin because she's running back and forth to the bank depositing checks from the lame stream media.

  • DahBoner

    Readin'. Writin'.

    Tomorrow, Rithmatickin'…

  • Mittaplasia

    Clothing, makeup and food are the least of Gauntzilla's worries when her jones comes down.

  • Indiepalin

    Headline of the day (Yahoo):

    "Glenn Beck Totals SUV After Daughter's Wedding"

    • Mittaplasia

      Glenn Beck
      The human wreck
      Never plays with a full deck.

      This little ditty got me over 700 downfists on Yahoo a few years ago; it was a blaze of glory in my otherwise nondescript life.

    • tessiee

      "Daughter"??
      That blubbery, weeping albino slug is capable of reproduction?

  • Not_So_Much

    P90-Glenn Rice?

  • Typodong3

    I have never, ever considered Sarah Palin to be attractive, in any way. I think perhaps its that permanent sneer on her face as she collects random words to toss out in her latest word salad, or perhaps the pure (but somewhat stupid) evil that oozes out of her pores. I hate to admit this, but I have on rare occasions considered Michelle Bachmann to be attractive.. but never once have I done that with Palin.

    • Mittaplasia

      It was that "great sex with crazy people" fantasy thingy and knowing Marcus wasn't up to the job, amirite?

      • Typodong3

        Lol I dont know about that. She really isnt a bad looking woman, not like the highly subjective and high maintenance look that Palin has.

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    There is no way that Sarah is going to let Bristol be the biggest train-wreck in the family.

  • Mittaplasia

    She's on one of those macrobiotic diets where you have to eat a lot of, er, Rice.

    • tessiee

      Which turns out to be surprisingly high in protein.

  • gullywompr

    Wait! Isn't that a bag of Those Cakes We Like? I call bullshit!

  • 75orLess

    we may have an explanation, courtesy of this morning's new blind item on a few gossip sites:

    "I guess she is a celebrity now. Not sure what her title would be. Anyway, she definitely has A list name recognition. Actually she has A+ name recognition. Anyway, she has lost weight recently and says it is because of diet and exercise. Could be true, but the little pick me up powder she was wiping from her nose the other night is probably helping too and that famed LA weight loss drug Adderall."

    This is the next step in the fame whore cycle, followed by a visit to rehab, and then a "clean" return to public life, before finally flaming out into the 'where are they now' bargain bin.

    For a family that made a living bitching about Hollywood, they sure do spend all of their time there.

  • BeefHardcake

    I, for one, look forward to seeing the Palin diet and exercise book. Sarah Palin trying to write a sentence will be like a chimpanzee trying to design a nuclear reactor.

    Comedy gold, this will be!

  • carlgt1

    Getting rid of demons is at least a 10 pound loss! I have to admit though – she does look like my dream milf pole-dancer now!

  • ttommyunger

    A weight-loss, fitness book! Killer idea, why has no one ever done this before? I, for one, cannot fucking wait to sop up this vapid twat's brain-droppings. I wonder how many boxcars full the Koch Brothers will buy?

    • Mittaplasia

      Enough to ship to all the schools so they can get rid of phys ed.

      • ttommyunger

        They still have Phys Ed?Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

  • valgal2342

    I picked the last apples off the tree yesterday and baked two apple pies last night.
    Anyone want some?

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Yes plz.

  • natoslug

    Good for her. There's no way in hell I'd read any book ghostwritten for her, but any activity that gets her out of the spotlight for a bit is good. And now I have a strange craving for Turkey Jerky.

  • occams8ball

    "Lose the Fat and Keep the Rack" by The Palin Gang.

  • Blunderthing

    Snowbilly Grifter targets the low self- esteemed and the full figured mental lightweights. Just like before.

  • lloydstool

    Whatever she's eating, poor girl is tastin' it twice.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    "That’s cute, People, the little bitch-meow at the end, but no".

    Bitches don't meow, though. However, cats do sometimes bark, when nobody's looking.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    Again I'm seeing no sign that she is seven months pregnant.

  • HelmutNewton

    Give her credit. She knows her audience. Who among you would have thought of "The Meth Fitness Plan"?

    • tessiee

      I can't speak for everyone among *us*, but a pretty fair percentage of the population in the red states has.

  • mustangsavvy

    “Our family is writing a book on fitness and self-discipline" – this in one line is actually America's real problem. It's actually deemed plausible to publish a explanation as self help books on SELF DISCIPLINE written by a woman who could not be fucked to finish her term as Governor and also who can't seem to find the OFF button on her shrill rants on Fox News any time anyone even looks like they are thinking of saying "Obama". You just know her remaining 5 supporters are saving up the pennies for this magical tome. If or when it even gets published (i.e. never).

    • tessiee

      *polite golf clap*
      I applaud your restraint in getting through an entire rant mocking $arah's claim to self discipline without even once mentioning her whorey daughter and bastard grandchild(ren).

  • smitallica

    As long as it's not about fitness for elected office.

  • An_Outhouse

    Nice 'fuck me' shoes, though.

  • An_Outhouse

    Are her boobs inflatable?

  • LibrarianX

    She's clearly not writing a book of fashion tips.

    • tessiee

      The really pathetic thing is that if she were, there are people who would run right out and buy it.

  • smitallica

    Yes, it's so hard to find time to eat right and exercise when you're rich and don't have a job.

  • thejazzmonger

    Man! She's really worked her way into those jeans. Or vice versa.

  • tessiee

    "That this led to accusations in the comments that we were “body-shaming” is too bad"

    Being of Italian descent, I have a number of family members who have struggled their whole lives with weight issues. Because they're good people, I wouldn't dream of making fun of the way they look. But assholes like Sarah Palin and Chris Christie? Totally fair game.
    Oh, yeah, also goes for friends who have struggled with addictions vs. turds like Breitbart.

  • TribecaMike

    At this rate, which will vanish into thin air first: herself or her Fox contract?

  • iamrrm

    Step 1. Get yourself a couple a bags a Kmart brand laxatives.

  • TribecaMike

    Was the photo taken during auditions for the upcoming Roller Boogie reboot?

  • Baba_NinjaCat12

    Sarah new books:
    Atlas Failed
    Rice-A-Sarah: Wasilla Bleh Treat
    Coming soon to the nearest 99 cents store.

  • tessiee

    If you're zero percent body fat, should you really have tits the size of your head?

    • kittensdontlie

      Barbie wannabe.

  • http://yakkingmelmoth.blogspot.com/ Porter Melmoth

    'How To Achieve A Scrawny Ass While Keeping Your Rack Intact' by Palin & Co. has already been greenlighted by Murdoch's new HarperCollins spinoff.

  • tessiee

    It's true; after 40, you really do have the face you deserve.

  • Stevola

    “Our family is writing a book on fitness and self-discipline …"

    WTF?

  • tessiee

    Britney Spears, circa 2015

  • tessiee

    The young lady from Lawn Guyland with the sparkly, shocking-pink web page and the whtie lipstick — Mindy Something? Mindy Miller?
    Sarah should be consulting her for fashion advice.

    ETA: Mindy Meyer http://wonkette.com/479059/meet-and-fap-to-sexy-c

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    "Palin – who’s known to treat houseguests to a smorgasbord of homemade treats such as moose chili, chocolate cream pies, pecan pies and lemon meringue pies…"

    STARBURSTS!!!

    • tessiee

      I'm guessing Little Debbies — but not even *actual* Little Debbies — the Costco steamer trunk size cut-rate equivalent of Little Debbies — on a *flowered* paper plate.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

        Sarah's usual parenting style, as evidenced by that other-other documentary show, is to serve up Willow or Piper on a (de)flowered paper plate to young male house-guests.

  • freddymcmurray

    I smell an eating disorder.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    That's not funny, that's sick.

  • PhilippePetain

    I love our Editrix for not giving into the fragile flower syndrome. Thank you.

  • Yellerdawg

    Oh my God. She's selling Amway.

  • Theywontlisten

    A terrible mind is good to waste. That is all

  • rocktonsam

    did her tits suck up all her fat?

    you can take the gal out of KMart but you can't take the KMart out of the gal

    no canvas bags?

    environment libel!!1!

  • Joey_Blau

    meth

  • rickmaci

    You know who else was notorious for right wing politics and weird dietary habits?

    • rocktonsam

      Dick Morris?

  • alzronnie

    nice mullet

  • voodooeconomics

    what if that little pointy finger was on the red button..fuck..what to do then..

  • CindynEncinitas

    Five bucks she gets a boob job. Then she goes blonde. Then she gets divorced. Then she falls in teh sack with Danny DeVito after a 3-day bender.

  • Uniprober

    Looks like Charlie Sheen w/ tits.