YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO BITCH OR TOO THIN  10:25 am October 10, 2012

It’s Okay, You Guys, Sarah Palin Is Just ‘Writing’ A Fitness ‘Book’

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

She ain't heavy, she's your motherIt seems like just yesterday we were worried about Sarah Palin! The wraithlike skin-sack of hollow bones clomping around Los Angeles this week was not the GILF you’ve hatefucked in your brainpan so many times throughout the years, but instead gave us a huge anti-boner of sad. (That this led to accusations in the comments that we were “body-shaming” is too bad, since it was by far the nicest thing we’d ever written about Palin, and also since this is not Jezebel. What’s next, accusations of cisgendered heteronormative hegemony?) But it is okay, you guys! People magazine did the hard work of asking Palin, what the fuck is up with your bone-sack? And Palin replied!

In an email to PEOPLE on Tuesday, Palin – who’s known to treat houseguests to a smorgasbord of homemade treats such as moose chili, chocolate cream pies, pecan pies and lemon meringue pies – wrote, “Our family is writing a book on fitness and self-discipline focusing on where we get our energy and balance as we still eat our beloved homemade comfort foods!”

Palin, 48, says she will discuss the topics in “our unique and motivating book.”

“We promise you what we do works and allows a fulfilling quality of life and sustenance anyone can enjoy,” she adds.

It is unclear if Palin has a contract for the upcoming book or when the work will be published.

That’s cute, People, the little bitch-meow at the end, but no. It is not “unclear” if Palin has a contract for the upcoming book — if she had a contract, it would have been Drudge siren news like it always is whenever the brood grifts its way into another paycheck, like we hear about whatever idiot reality thing the phlegmatic Todd’s signed up for this time. As for when the work will be published, we are going to say “never,” because that might entail writing a book, since we don’t think “fitness” is one of Palin Family Ghostwriter Nancy French’s topics of expertise.

As for their homemade treats, we can’t imagine lemon meringue goes well with secret bags of Taco Bell consumed alone in her room with the door closed, but eh. We could be very wrong about that!

In any case, we are glad (you say) you are okay, Sarah Palin. Maybe soon you can get back to being hotter than Julianne Moore played you, which is the first statement in history that came out of Bristol Palin’s mouth with which we can agree!

[People, via PoliticalWire; pix from Celebitchy courtesy of Fame/Flynet]

 
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{ 209 comments }

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 10:27 am

"Fun and Fit On An Eight-Ball a Week"

weejee October 10, 2012 at 10:37 am

Lou Sarah is our heroine heroin. Just so much fun to needle.

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 10:39 am

Funny. My very first thought was the "Columbian Diet," too…

UnholyMoses October 10, 2012 at 10:44 am

An 8-ball a week?

I'd give it an afternoon.

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:46 am

Still, mega-win!

Mumbletypeg October 10, 2012 at 10:28 am

Can't I still blame Trig for AOT,K?

ManchuCandidate October 10, 2012 at 10:29 am

Can I suggest a title: "FitMess With US Amercia's Sexiest Grannie"

Goonemeritus October 10, 2012 at 10:29 am

“Meth Your Way to a Sexier You”- I predict it will fly off the shelves in the Confederate States.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Right next to "Smoke Yourself Thin", "The Bible so that even YOU can Understand It", and whatever Jerome Corsi has pooped out recently.

CrankyLttlCamperette October 10, 2012 at 10:30 am

accusations of cisgendered heteronormative hegemony?

I had to look this up. And I was an English Major for chrissakes!

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 10:34 am

Cissie!

UnholyMoses October 10, 2012 at 10:44 am

You too, eh?

cheetojeebus October 10, 2012 at 10:47 am

and ???

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:48 am

That's why you are here and not over at HuffyFluffy.

elviouslyqueer October 10, 2012 at 10:48 am

Translation: "pussyhurtness."

MosesInvests October 10, 2012 at 10:55 am

ROTFLMAO!

Incitefully_Joe October 10, 2012 at 11:04 am

So what you're saying is that you don't use tumblr?

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:47 pm

We're all English Majors, or former English Majors.
That's why we're all here, instead of at jobs.

CindynEncinitas October 10, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Fuck ta tha yeah, bitches! UCI, '86!

SnarkOff October 11, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I just have to shout out to an Encinitas girl. I'm from those parts, also.

CindynEncinitas October 11, 2012 at 2:47 pm

Oh, hai! Little pieces of water are falling on me from somewhere above me. Don't know why… what's going on???

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 10:30 am

She looks every minute of her 70 years old.

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 10:30 am

“Our family is writing a book on fitness and self-discipline"

I can't wait to read Bristle's chapter.

ManchuCandidate October 10, 2012 at 10:32 am

It will be the griftiest story ever told.

Terry October 10, 2012 at 10:32 am

"Yes! Taco Bell CAN be a part of a healthy diet!"

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 10:41 am

Those *ARE* K-Mart bags she's carrying, right?

OneDollarJuana October 10, 2012 at 10:45 am

I saw Wal-Mart. Or maybe Bi-Mart.

delaney_blom October 10, 2012 at 11:07 am

Yep. With a sixer of IBC Diet Root Beer.

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 11:13 am

And the economy pack of Ho-hos. (Does K-Mart even carry Chupa Chups?)

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 10:34 am

That's a generous way to describe a footnote.

eggsacklywright October 10, 2012 at 10:36 am

I wanna see Pipette's chapter, too.

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:49 am

Discipline comes in many forms, grasshopper.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 10:55 am

Just scroll up the page.

Indiepalin October 10, 2012 at 10:31 am

Sarah Palin is a meth.

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 10:34 am

You mean Tharah, right?

—Biggus

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 10, 2012 at 10:53 am

The thure ith.

Incitefully_Joe October 10, 2012 at 11:08 am

You definitely sell her short. As a failed ex half-governor, failed Vice Presidential candidate, failed Fox News "commentator", failed reality star, failed (had other people)write( for he)r, and soon-to-be failed nutrition guru, Sarah Palin is quite clear a true polymeth.

Indiepalin October 10, 2012 at 11:44 am

Sarah be breaking bad.

Gratuitous World October 10, 2012 at 10:31 am

When I think self-discipline, I think Palins! can't wait!

kittensdontlie October 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Self & discipline are unrelated ingredients of a Palin word salad that was tossed, and the two words fell together by accident.

Terry October 10, 2012 at 10:31 am

If she wasn't pure feral evil, I'd almost feel sorry for her. She was the center of attention and now she's a punch line, employable only on Fox News. Even reality tv has had enough of her. The weight loss and focus on working out isn't really a surprise. She's a strong candidate for an eating disorder. When you are losing control of everything else, at least you can control your diet and your weight. Sarah's got a ticket for the "thinspiration" train.

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 10:41 am

We can only hope.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 10, 2012 at 10:59 am

And when reality tv has had enough of you, it's time to reassess your life.

Gleem McShineys October 10, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Yes, introspection and deep thinking, just like discipline, are terms I can't help but associate with the name Palin.

starfanglednut October 10, 2012 at 2:09 pm

That was exactly my take on it. A narcissistic rage/control thing.

MegPasadena October 10, 2012 at 2:14 pm

The sad thing is now somewhere some publisher probably thinks it is a good idea to ask her to write the said book and says, "why didn't we think about that before?" It will include a lot of sexy photos of the Palin gals for all the old men to enjoy.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 10:31 am

“Our family is writing a book on fitness and self-discipline focusing on where we get our energy and balance as we still eat our beloved homemade comfort foods!”

The entire family is writing the book? Including that rather zaftig little homewrecker, Bristol?

eggsacklywright October 10, 2012 at 10:38 am

Brisket's chapter will be the chubbiest.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 10:48 am

And jiggliest. Also, most in denial. Too. Also.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:50 pm

And it when you open the book to that chapter, a tiny little booklet will accidentally fall out.

bobbert October 10, 2012 at 1:29 pm

Oh my.

ManchuCandidate October 10, 2012 at 10:31 am

She will have written two more books than she's read…. right?

ChillBill October 10, 2012 at 10:41 am

Written for her, you mean?

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 10, 2012 at 10:59 am

"How many books have you written?"

"All of them, Katie."

Rosie_Scenario October 10, 2012 at 10:32 am

It took her a while to hit the mother lode of Grifting — diet books. What better to peddle to her obese, Hoveround-bound, teabagging, devotees.

eggsacklywright October 10, 2012 at 10:39 am

Hominy grifts? Several, I'm guessing.

DahBoner October 10, 2012 at 11:08 am

Sarah Palin Brand Moose Lard?

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 11:12 am

Nah. She still needs to do an exercise DVD, which will expand her audience to include fapping Young Republicans.

Gleem McShineys October 10, 2012 at 1:55 pm

And then, Rich Lowry's yoga pants couldn't even be folded to put into the washer.

upthruster October 10, 2012 at 10:32 am

I predict folks who follow the books plan will follow Palin's example to the tee and quit half way through.

FakaktaSouth October 10, 2012 at 10:32 am

“Our family is writing a book on fitness and self-discipline focusing on where we get our energy and balance as we still eat our beloved homemade comfort foods!”

Still eating comfort foods? Ew so this is a book full of tips on how to make yourself throw up? I guess if anyone can induce vomiting, it's this crew. Just, no thank you.

zumpie October 10, 2012 at 10:38 am

No, no it's just a book on how to be a meth addict

prommie October 10, 2012 at 10:52 am

Its kinda like us writing a book about clean living and self-denial, isn't it?

FakaktaSouth October 10, 2012 at 10:55 am

I work out! To counteract the dirty? living and indulgence. You know, ACTUAL balance.

prommie October 10, 2012 at 11:17 am

Balance is important, especially during the more fancy moves.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 10:33 am

huge anti-boner of sad

Errrr, Editrix, is there something you need to, um, reveal here?

Please?

eggsacklywright October 10, 2012 at 10:40 am

Debbie Downer's brother, Dick.

prommie October 10, 2012 at 10:54 am

She said "anti-boner," the Hegellian antithesis of boner, you silly.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 11:07 am

Well, maybe if David Hume couldn't outconsume him…

Tommmcatt_Again October 10, 2012 at 11:40 am

I was confused because I thought the term "huge anti-boner of sad" only applied to Joe Lieberman.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Lieberman is the small, droopy, wrinkly anti-boner of sad.

OneDollarJuana October 10, 2012 at 10:33 am

“… we still eat our beloved homemade comfort foods!”

Like crow and humble pie?

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 10:42 am

Moose-n-meth casserole?

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm

In order to eat humble pie, they would have to have a decent sense of shame to begin with.

no_gravity October 10, 2012 at 10:34 am

What kind of skeletal fitness is this? It's still meth.

ChillBill October 10, 2012 at 10:34 am

"The Jane Fundie Workout"

hagajim October 10, 2012 at 10:34 am

I actually think she looks better at that angle than the one yesterday. And, if you throw on top that she's in LaLa land – I'm guessing she's just trying to assimilate. Plus its hard to shoot moose from a chopper in SoCal.

fuflans October 10, 2012 at 10:47 am

yeah i'm not quite sure what all this fuss is about. she looks LA thin, but better than without the trowel's worth of make up she usually applies.

and i may be shallow, but i'd be thin than look like bristol.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 11:10 am

Plus its hard to shoot moose from a chopper in SoCal

Why? It's not like Melissa McCarthy can afford a Ferrari yet….

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:58 pm

What, that ditz who thinks she can diagnose autism because she used to go out with Jim Carrey?

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 2:33 pm

That's Jenny. Melissa is the rather…rotund…Emmy-award winning actress

Incitefully_Joe October 10, 2012 at 2:50 pm

As a practicing autist, may I just say that the new-agey "crystal child" podunk she was babbling about before she jumped on the anti-vaxer train was only slightly less annoying.

I mean, way less awful in terms of the public health implications, but still.

weejee October 10, 2012 at 10:35 am

The wraithlike skin-sack of hollow bones clomping around Los Angeles

The ringwraith skin-sack of hollow bones clomping around Los Angeles

/ fixed

UnholyMoses October 10, 2012 at 10:46 am

NAZGUL LIBEL!

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:01 pm

If you guys are ever single, I would like to fix you up with whoever described Nancy Grace as an Uruk-hai.

mavenmaven October 10, 2012 at 10:49 am

"We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!…"

PsycWench October 10, 2012 at 10:35 am

If I were concerned about staying fit, the first thing I'd do is toss any shoes that posed the threat of a broken ankle. But that's just me.

SayItWithWookies October 10, 2012 at 10:36 am

It's not the fitness part that confuses me, it's the self-discipline part — is that the part that sustains Sarah through her $150,000 raid on the local Nordstrom, or the part that allows Bristol to have her own private fuck room in the Palin household, or one of the other ones (Henbane? Atlatl? I forget) to be a Wasilla cokehound? And don't even get me started on Trig's gun collection.

Dr_Zoidberg October 10, 2012 at 10:36 am

If her book-writing goes anything like her governorship, she'll get half-way through the first chapter and then quit.

One_Man_Band October 10, 2012 at 10:36 am

"The wraithlike skin-sack of hollow bones"

Will this diet book be published by EC Comics? She looks like if the Cryptkeeper got a makeover.

vrouch October 10, 2012 at 10:36 am

She looks like the Crypt Keeper.

UnholyMoses October 10, 2012 at 10:36 am

K-Mart sucks.

magic_titty October 10, 2012 at 10:37 am

Anyone check for track marks on her forearms?

anniegetyerfun October 10, 2012 at 10:37 am

She can expand and contract all she wants, but I'm disappointed (perpetually) in her clothing. Look, honey, you're a young grandma, but you either have to really bring the crazy (animal prints, clear heels, giant fake diamond rings) or tone it down (meet my friends, tasteful black flat and pencil skirt – they are happy to make your acquaintance).

Those wedges, especially paired with that shirt, are meant to be carried by an 18 year-old sorority pledge during her first walk of shame home from frat row.

FakaktaSouth October 10, 2012 at 10:44 am

I will admit in full mean girl fashion, that after this dramatic drop, I do look forward to the re-loading. Yo-yo-dieting ain't for play. And I hate her clothes in perpetuity. It's like she also quit in the middle of her fashion consultation.

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 10:45 am

Or a girl pulling a shift behind the local truck stop. Either way – *tacky*.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 10:47 am

Oh, no, she's in fashion. It's a way for trashy grandmas to keep up the appearance of having just driven away from fraternity row after ravishing some young clueless stud.

Cuz, you know, they can't deal with a man.

PsycWench October 10, 2012 at 11:22 am

You know this by careful observation. Right?

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:13 pm

I have a…
friend…
who's done that.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:08 pm

It's not that we're supposed to give up on trying to look attractive after a certain age; it's that there's a middle ground between elastic-waist polyester pants and leopard-print tube tops. Sarah is one bottle of hair dye away from being Petunia from "Futurama":
http://futurama.wikia.com/wiki/File:Petunia.png

anniegetyerfun October 10, 2012 at 1:41 pm

I just feel like if she wants to be tacky, she should really freaking go for it. This is such half-assed tacky.

GunToting[Redacted] October 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm

She's going for the Gemma Morrow look.

Baconzgood October 10, 2012 at 10:37 am

14:32 and counting Sarah.

Dildeaux October 10, 2012 at 10:37 am

She has ugly toes. Just sayin.

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:53 am

Oh, that's not blue polish?

johnnymeatworth October 10, 2012 at 10:38 am

Drugging With The Stars?

zumpie October 10, 2012 at 10:39 am

Sooo, was this photo placed next to one of her "hawt" 2008 pics on TMZ's "Look she's all growed up" section???

Self-Uploader October 10, 2012 at 10:40 am

Let me get this straight — You posted pictures of some poor innocent civilian and accused her of being La Palin? Shame on you, Wonkette.

SoBeach October 10, 2012 at 10:41 am

Maybe soon you can get back to being hotter than Julianne Moore played you

Back in '08 Palin was smokin' hot. Still not as hot as Julianne Moore though.

Joshua Norton October 10, 2012 at 10:41 am

So is she 'writing' a book on how to keep fit or throw a fit? Inquiring minds want to know.

From the little I saw of them the few times I clicked thru "Sara Palin's Alaska" if they were going to a gym it must have had an all-you-can-eat pudding bar.

BigSkullF*ckingDog October 10, 2012 at 10:43 am

At least the meth manufacturing industry is alive and well in America, thanks to Sarah apparantly.

Mittaplasia October 10, 2012 at 11:13 am

What do you think got the unemployment level under 8%? Better living through chemicals…yaaaaay!

Isyaignert October 10, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Isn't Wasilla the meth capital of Alaska?

freakishlywrong October 10, 2012 at 10:43 am

Why do I get the feeling that the book will blame Obama for her weight, (gain or loss).

Radiotherapy October 10, 2012 at 10:43 am

With a foreword by Paul Ryan.

James Michael Curley October 10, 2012 at 10:44 am

Duck! SHe saw us.

mavenmaven October 10, 2012 at 10:44 am

The Cougar Quitter Love America For Cash Diet Book

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 10:44 am

So, is she going to starve out the hookworms?

CindynEncinitas October 10, 2012 at 7:27 pm

A good-sized coke booger could make her list to starboard!

Sacanagem October 10, 2012 at 10:45 am

The change in lighting and the movement of her "shopping" bags leads me to one conclusion: she's hitting every Kmart in Southern Cali & cleaning out their Sudafed supply. QED, bitch.

fawkedifiknow October 10, 2012 at 10:45 am

She looks like she's wearing clothes she just bought at K-Mart.

An_Outhouse October 10, 2012 at 12:10 pm

bought, stole, five finger discount, whatever.

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:46 am

Man, I never went to bed with anything like that.

Woke up with a few…

fishskicanoe October 10, 2012 at 10:46 am

48 is the new 80.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:44 pm

pffffft!
*dismissive hand flap*
She's 48 like I'm a Size Zero.

emmelemm October 10, 2012 at 1:35 pm

I was gonna say, she's less than 10 years older than I am? Fuck that noise.

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 10:46 am

Well, it's obvious her book isn't going to have anything in it about hairstyles.

LibertyLover October 10, 2012 at 10:47 am

Opportunist in chief.

OneDollarJuana October 10, 2012 at 10:47 am

Sarah's so good at quitting, maybe she has just quit eating?

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 10:49 am

I'd do her.

With a hammer.

Of votes.

LibertyLover October 10, 2012 at 10:50 am

I don't think a diet of monster drinks, jujubes and luna bars is really all that healthy.

fuflans October 10, 2012 at 10:51 am

wraithlike skin-sack of hollow bones

you know, Nazgûl cause unconsciousness, nightmares, and eventually death.

elviouslyqueer October 10, 2012 at 10:52 am

“Our family is writing a book on fitness and self-discipline focusing on where we get our energy and balance as we still eat our beloved homemade comfort foods!”

IOW, "Binging and Purging: 50 Hurls to Flatter Abs."

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 10:52 am

This is turning into some weird, backwoods version of "Mommy Dearest" meets "Sunset Boulevard"…but without the superficial beauty or the talent… Or the pathos…

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 10, 2012 at 10:55 am

"How To Stay Fit While Exploiting Your Children For Fame And Profit"

JadedPreppy October 10, 2012 at 10:55 am

Too bad "The Insanity Workout" is already trademarked.

GunToting[Redacted] October 10, 2012 at 10:57 am

Dementor libel!

yellojkt October 10, 2012 at 10:58 am

She actually has some cred in this field. She can run a marathon faster than Paul Ryan.

YouFail4eva October 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm

I C WUT U DID THER!

prommie October 10, 2012 at 10:59 am

Manufactured housing development caucasian refuse.

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 11:03 am

Or as my Latino brah's would say, basura blanco.

stitch94133 October 10, 2012 at 11:01 am

Whew. I always loved the way Sarah strings the latest pop phrases together, whether or not they make sense…

ahnc October 10, 2012 at 11:04 am

Geez, give Sarah a break. Sarah is so thin because she's running back and forth to the bank depositing checks from the lame stream media.

DahBoner October 10, 2012 at 11:04 am

Readin'. Writin'.

Tomorrow, Rithmatickin'…

Mittaplasia October 10, 2012 at 11:05 am

Clothing, makeup and food are the least of Gauntzilla's worries when her jones comes down.

Indiepalin October 10, 2012 at 11:06 am

Headline of the day (Yahoo):

"Glenn Beck Totals SUV After Daughter's Wedding"

Mittaplasia October 10, 2012 at 11:24 am

Glenn Beck
The human wreck
Never plays with a full deck.

This little ditty got me over 700 downfists on Yahoo a few years ago; it was a blaze of glory in my otherwise nondescript life.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:21 pm

"Daughter"??
That blubbery, weeping albino slug is capable of reproduction?

Not_So_Much October 10, 2012 at 11:12 am

P90-Glenn Rice?

Typodong3 October 10, 2012 at 11:14 am

I have never, ever considered Sarah Palin to be attractive, in any way. I think perhaps its that permanent sneer on her face as she collects random words to toss out in her latest word salad, or perhaps the pure (but somewhat stupid) evil that oozes out of her pores. I hate to admit this, but I have on rare occasions considered Michelle Bachmann to be attractive.. but never once have I done that with Palin.

Mittaplasia October 10, 2012 at 11:32 am

It was that "great sex with crazy people" fantasy thingy and knowing Marcus wasn't up to the job, amirite?

Typodong3 October 10, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Lol I dont know about that. She really isnt a bad looking woman, not like the highly subjective and high maintenance look that Palin has.

DonnyKerabotsos October 10, 2012 at 11:16 am

There is no way that Sarah is going to let Bristol be the biggest train-wreck in the family.

Mittaplasia October 10, 2012 at 11:19 am

She's on one of those macrobiotic diets where you have to eat a lot of, er, Rice.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:25 pm

Which turns out to be surprisingly high in protein.

gullywompr October 10, 2012 at 11:19 am

Wait! Isn't that a bag of Those Cakes We Like? I call bullshit!

75orLess October 10, 2012 at 11:22 am

we may have an explanation, courtesy of this morning's new blind item on a few gossip sites:

"I guess she is a celebrity now. Not sure what her title would be. Anyway, she definitely has A list name recognition. Actually she has A+ name recognition. Anyway, she has lost weight recently and says it is because of diet and exercise. Could be true, but the little pick me up powder she was wiping from her nose the other night is probably helping too and that famed LA weight loss drug Adderall."

This is the next step in the fame whore cycle, followed by a visit to rehab, and then a "clean" return to public life, before finally flaming out into the 'where are they now' bargain bin.

For a family that made a living bitching about Hollywood, they sure do spend all of their time there.

BeefHardcake October 10, 2012 at 11:23 am

I, for one, look forward to seeing the Palin diet and exercise book. Sarah Palin trying to write a sentence will be like a chimpanzee trying to design a nuclear reactor.

Comedy gold, this will be!

carlgt1 October 10, 2012 at 11:31 am

Getting rid of demons is at least a 10 pound loss! I have to admit though – she does look like my dream milf pole-dancer now!

ttommyunger October 10, 2012 at 11:34 am

A weight-loss, fitness book! Killer idea, why has no one ever done this before? I, for one, cannot fucking wait to sop up this vapid twat's brain-droppings. I wonder how many boxcars full the Koch Brothers will buy?

Mittaplasia October 10, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Enough to ship to all the schools so they can get rid of phys ed.

ttommyunger October 10, 2012 at 3:10 pm

They still have Phys Ed?Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

valgal2342 October 10, 2012 at 11:39 am

I picked the last apples off the tree yesterday and baked two apple pies last night.
Anyone want some?

starfanglednut October 10, 2012 at 2:16 pm

Yes plz.

natoslug October 10, 2012 at 11:40 am

Good for her. There's no way in hell I'd read any book ghostwritten for her, but any activity that gets her out of the spotlight for a bit is good. And now I have a strange craving for Turkey Jerky.

occams8ball October 10, 2012 at 11:44 am

"Lose the Fat and Keep the Rack" by The Palin Gang.

Blunderthing October 10, 2012 at 11:45 am

Snowbilly Grifter targets the low self- esteemed and the full figured mental lightweights. Just like before.

lloydstool October 10, 2012 at 11:47 am

Whatever she's eating, poor girl is tastin' it twice.

Incitefully_Joe October 10, 2012 at 11:49 am

"That’s cute, People, the little bitch-meow at the end, but no".

Bitches don't meow, though. However, cats do sometimes bark, when nobody's looking.

mrblifil October 10, 2012 at 11:55 am

Again I'm seeing no sign that she is seven months pregnant.

HelmutNewton October 10, 2012 at 11:57 am

Give her credit. She knows her audience. Who among you would have thought of "The Meth Fitness Plan"?

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:30 pm

I can't speak for everyone among *us*, but a pretty fair percentage of the population in the red states has.

mustangsavvy October 10, 2012 at 12:00 pm

“Our family is writing a book on fitness and self-discipline" – this in one line is actually America's real problem. It's actually deemed plausible to publish a explanation as self help books on SELF DISCIPLINE written by a woman who could not be fucked to finish her term as Governor and also who can't seem to find the OFF button on her shrill rants on Fox News any time anyone even looks like they are thinking of saying "Obama". You just know her remaining 5 supporters are saving up the pennies for this magical tome. If or when it even gets published (i.e. never).

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:33 pm

*polite golf clap*
I applaud your restraint in getting through an entire rant mocking $arah's claim to self discipline without even once mentioning her whorey daughter and bastard grandchild(ren).

smitallica October 10, 2012 at 12:08 pm

As long as it's not about fitness for elected office.

An_Outhouse October 10, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Nice 'fuck me' shoes, though.

An_Outhouse October 10, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Are her boobs inflatable?

LibrarianX October 10, 2012 at 12:12 pm

She's clearly not writing a book of fashion tips.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:38 pm

The really pathetic thing is that if she were, there are people who would run right out and buy it.

smitallica October 10, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Yes, it's so hard to find time to eat right and exercise when you're rich and don't have a job.

thejazzmonger October 10, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Man! She's really worked her way into those jeans. Or vice versa.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:43 pm

"That this led to accusations in the comments that we were “body-shaming” is too bad"

Being of Italian descent, I have a number of family members who have struggled their whole lives with weight issues. Because they're good people, I wouldn't dream of making fun of the way they look. But assholes like Sarah Palin and Chris Christie? Totally fair game.
Oh, yeah, also goes for friends who have struggled with addictions vs. turds like Breitbart.

TribecaMike October 10, 2012 at 12:50 pm

At this rate, which will vanish into thin air first: herself or her Fox contract?

iamrrm October 10, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Step 1. Get yourself a couple a bags a Kmart brand laxatives.

TribecaMike October 10, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Was the photo taken during auditions for the upcoming Roller Boogie reboot?

Baba_NinjaCat12 October 10, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Sarah new books:
Atlas Failed
Rice-A-Sarah: Wasilla Bleh Treat
Coming soon to the nearest 99 cents store.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:12 pm

If you're zero percent body fat, should you really have tits the size of your head?

kittensdontlie October 10, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Barbie wannabe.

Porter Melmoth October 10, 2012 at 1:14 pm

'How To Achieve A Scrawny Ass While Keeping Your Rack Intact' by Palin & Co. has already been greenlighted by Murdoch's new HarperCollins spinoff.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:28 pm

It's true; after 40, you really do have the face you deserve.

Stevola October 10, 2012 at 1:38 pm

“Our family is writing a book on fitness and self-discipline …"

WTF?

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Britney Spears, circa 2015

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:47 pm

The young lady from Lawn Guyland with the sparkly, shocking-pink web page and the whtie lipstick — Mindy Something? Mindy Miller?
Sarah should be consulting her for fashion advice.

ETA: Mindy Meyer http://wonkette.com/479059/meet-and-fap-to-sexy-c

Chet Kincaid_ October 10, 2012 at 1:48 pm

"Palin – who’s known to treat houseguests to a smorgasbord of homemade treats such as moose chili, chocolate cream pies, pecan pies and lemon meringue pies…"

STARBURSTS!!!

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I'm guessing Little Debbies — but not even *actual* Little Debbies — the Costco steamer trunk size cut-rate equivalent of Little Debbies — on a *flowered* paper plate.

Chet Kincaid_ October 10, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Sarah's usual parenting style, as evidenced by that other-other documentary show, is to serve up Willow or Piper on a (de)flowered paper plate to young male house-guests.

freddymcmurray October 10, 2012 at 2:02 pm

I smell an eating disorder.

Chet Kincaid_ October 10, 2012 at 2:11 pm

That's not funny, that's sick.

PhilippePetain October 10, 2012 at 2:34 pm

I love our Editrix for not giving into the fragile flower syndrome. Thank you.

Yellerdawg October 10, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Oh my God. She's selling Amway.

Theywontlisten October 10, 2012 at 3:59 pm

A terrible mind is good to waste. That is all

rocktonsam October 10, 2012 at 4:23 pm

did her tits suck up all her fat?

you can take the gal out of KMart but you can't take the KMart out of the gal

no canvas bags?

environment libel!!1!

Joey_Blau October 10, 2012 at 4:33 pm

meth

rickmaci October 10, 2012 at 5:01 pm

You know who else was notorious for right wing politics and weird dietary habits?

rocktonsam October 10, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Dick Morris?

alzronnie October 10, 2012 at 6:04 pm

nice mullet

voodooeconomics October 10, 2012 at 6:20 pm

what if that little pointy finger was on the red button..fuck..what to do then..

CindynEncinitas October 10, 2012 at 7:26 pm

Five bucks she gets a boob job. Then she goes blonde. Then she gets divorced. Then she falls in teh sack with Danny DeVito after a 3-day bender.

Uniprober October 10, 2012 at 10:14 pm

Looks like Charlie Sheen w/ tits.

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