FACTS ARE STUPID THINGS  9:42 am October 10, 2012

Watch Tea Party Godfather Rick Santelli Blubber About the Jobs Report Conspiracy

by Kris E. Benson

In the interest of Journalism, CNBC had a roundtable of experts weigh in on the jobs report, hosted by CNBC’s senior economics reporter Steve Liesman, who heroically tried to bring a measure of logic and informed analysis to the discussion. Turns out, having a logical and informed discussion about a total non-issue isn’t very easy! Especially when your panel of experts includes some guy who bases his analysis on the fact that he knows about trucking companies (which we hear are a less-than-perfect indicator of the statistical methods employed by the Bureau of Labor Statistics) and CNBC on-air editor Rick Santelli (who loves to scream and yell when he is asked for evidence to support his beliefs — oh, and sort of invented the Tea Party).

It starts with a bunch of old dudes plus one blond lady with a laptop sitting around a table arguing about the jobs report, and then one of the old guys (his name is Ken,  apparently he has something to do with trucks) argues that the trucking industry is down! Ergo de facto, the methodology used by the BLS is useless! Then this other guy talks for a minute and gets cut off because everyone was sick of listening to people who aren’t Rick Santelli — he says that actually, which doesn’t go over too well with the panel of experts huddled behind their laptops — and Rick Santelli starts yelling about the stock market while some guy in the background puts his shoes up on the desk. Who is this guy? Why is he wearing white socks with Romanian piano teacher shoes on the trading floor? And putting his feet up when it’s in the frame while Rick Santelli is yelling? Whatever, not important! What’s IMPORTANT, according to Rick Santelli, is that he KNEW the numbers would fall in September. “What are you implying,” Steve Liesman asks, and Rick, sounding more and more like George Costanza, screams I’M NOT IMPLYING ANYTHING,  and then, arms waving around, YOU CONNECT THE DOTS. I’m a market whisperer! CONNECT THE DOTS!”

Then:

“I am connecting the dots,” Liesman replied. “I’m asking you to be honest about the dot connecting that you’re implying.”

“I’m honest!” Santelli screamed, and then add, “If you are looking for a conspiracy — and I’m not — you would only need to change certain numbers!”

“There’s been the last three Septembers, they’ve had this number surge,” Liesman calmly explained. “If this is a conspiracy, Rick, it goes back three years.”

[RawStory]

 
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{ 134 comments }

Dr_Zoidberg October 10, 2012 at 9:43 am

Journalmalism.

eggsacklywright October 10, 2012 at 9:48 am

Emphasis on the MAL.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 10:03 am

Journaminimalism.¹ The latest pomo art craze

¹ Do just enough reporting to get on the TeeVee

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:08 am

Journaminimalism. Just enought to keep you PO'd.

smashedinhat October 10, 2012 at 10:33 am

Performance art. Not very popular, but look at Yoko Ono! I rest my case.

eggsacklywright October 10, 2012 at 9:46 am

Jack Welch is the expert in this arena. He's very familiar with juggling numbers to reach the desired result.

Texan_Bulldog October 10, 2012 at 9:47 am

Something tells me no one ever taught Rick Santelli the concept of 'indoor voice'.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 10:07 am

He's the Hoarse Whisperer, a-right.

Schmannnity October 10, 2012 at 9:47 am

I'm on Becky Quick's side.

eggsacklywright October 10, 2012 at 9:48 am

Ooh, that's gonna start something.

eggsacklywright October 10, 2012 at 12:19 pm

Or not.

slowhansolo October 10, 2012 at 9:47 am

Strange. Screamers are usually so fun and exciting.

kyeshinka October 10, 2012 at 9:47 am

I don't know if I'd call him The Godfather, but I wouldn't mind taking Santelli to Lake Tahoe to do some fishing.

TheMightyHaltor October 10, 2012 at 10:17 am

With votes, of course.

kyeshinka October 10, 2012 at 10:22 am

Yes, of course.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 10:50 am

I'd prefer to Zidane his nose through his skull.

With votes, I mean. Of course. Votes. Yes.

Mumbletypeg October 10, 2012 at 9:48 am

"wearing white socks with Romanian piano teacher shoes on the trading floor"
is so full of Win. Kudos, Kris~

swordfis October 10, 2012 at 9:48 am

Can we skip reporting on these idiots and go straight to flinging shit at them?

Oblios_Cap October 10, 2012 at 9:48 am

Facts do have a liberal bais!

Barrelhse October 10, 2012 at 9:48 am

So THIS is what we're in for after Nov. 7?

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:10 am

This is what we are in for until we educate/re-educate two generations of Americans.

no_gravity October 10, 2012 at 9:49 am

Keep your hand firmly on your wallet when around people who scream they're honest.

justkillmenow October 10, 2012 at 10:16 am

And on your soul when they start screaming about being Christians. Those people scare the hell out of me.

eggsacklywright October 10, 2012 at 9:50 am

Santelli's nickname on the trading floor is Old Yeller.

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:10 am

That's what his dry cleaner calls him too!

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 10:21 am

Ew!

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:27 am

):

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 10:34 am

Aw, don't mope, bud. That was an amused "Ew!" :)

Pragmatist2 October 10, 2012 at 9:51 am

Rick can't connect the dots. He has a learning disability – he hasn't learned shit.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard October 10, 2012 at 10:17 am

Who knows how dots work? You're such a snob!

weejee October 10, 2012 at 9:51 am

I’m a market whisperer!

No Mr. Santelli, you're a trucker mutha, or mother trucker, or something like that. Shouty, too, also.

eggsacklywright October 10, 2012 at 9:52 am

Is the trucking guy Ken Worth?

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 9:57 am

Pete Built.

eggsacklywright October 10, 2012 at 10:04 am

No matter, as long as he's White.

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:19 am

Whatchu talkin bout, Willys?

dweed999 October 10, 2012 at 10:24 am

Ricky is more like a small pink Volkswagen Beetle with two flat tires.

ttommyunger October 10, 2012 at 10:05 am

No, "Mack" somebody, I think.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 10:07 am

That's Mr Ken L Worth to you.

HistoriCat October 11, 2012 at 9:41 am

Does the L stand for Layne? Wake up sheeple!

mrblifil October 10, 2012 at 9:53 am

It is interesting to note how quickly the charlatans assume manipulation of information in order to gain political advantage. It's almost like they're telling us something.

eggsacklywright October 10, 2012 at 9:56 am

Nailed it.

eggsacklywright October 10, 2012 at 9:54 am

Perhaps Santelli is a cousin to the Loud family.

weejee October 10, 2012 at 9:58 am

And his shouty makes me stabby.

Terry October 10, 2012 at 9:56 am

The problem, well one of them, with the neocon and teabagger Republicans is that they are corrupt and assume that everyone else thinks and acts like they do.

MosesInvests October 10, 2012 at 10:43 am

The Evangeliban, also, too.

BoatOfVelociraptors October 10, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Don't forget the reparations crowd.

Not_So_Much October 10, 2012 at 9:58 am

I don't know if I even have the strength to kick that guy in the balls as hard and as often as I want to.

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 10:23 am

You could try, dude, you could try…

With votes, o' course.

SoBeach October 10, 2012 at 9:59 am

I used to watch CNBC. They used to be pretty apolitical. Then Obama got elected and some of them lost their ever-lovin' minds. Santelli and Cernan belong on Fox. Idiots.

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 10:08 am

Just waiting for the contracts to run out so they can dip deep into that Koch money.

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 9:59 am

Wow, what an asshole.

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 10:26 am

Now, that there is about as pithy a bit of political punditry as I've heard this election cycle…

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 10:32 am

That's for if you're into the whole brevity thing, man.

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:42 am

Brevity and pith.

Incitefully_Joe October 10, 2012 at 10:00 am

The guy with is feet on the desk is simply Going Galt, because of overregulation.

This is also why he's wearing white socks with business attire, which is a major fashion faux pas, but only if you're actually working, instead of Going Galt.

In the words of Rick Santelli, "Suck it, losers!".

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 10:10 am

Hey, they sit behind desks. I'm glad he had pants on.

Goonemeritus October 10, 2012 at 10:00 am

When Barry wins in November there will be much shirt ripping in moron-town.

freakishlywrong October 10, 2012 at 10:00 am

If Santelli could connect the dots, he'd be wearing a hair suit and standing in water for what he and his ilk did to our economy.

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 10:01 am

I'm surprised that the Great Santelli didn't start bouncing the basketball off the other guy's head.

not that Dewey October 10, 2012 at 10:22 am

"Let's see you squirt a few, market boy."

EatsBabyDingos October 10, 2012 at 10:02 am

Gee, Rick, if you can't connect the dots, you are probably holding your Crayon wrong again.

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 10:27 am

Step One: Take it out of your ear…

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 10:04 am

So the chief conspiratacist Teabagger, funded and fronted by Freedomworks and the Koch Brothers, is butthurt about a new conspiracy that makes absolutely no fucking sense?¹ Wow. I mean, wow.

¹ Cuz, why not deploy this in 2010 when it might have saved Congress for the President, you dumb shithead?

actor212 October 10, 2012 at 10:05 am

"I’m a market whisperer! CONNECT THE DOTS!”

Errrr, ahhhh, Rick…? One of those things does not support the other.

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 10:27 am

Surely that's a Talking Heads lyric…

deanbooth October 10, 2012 at 10:06 am

Have reports from crazytown become my kryptonite? I am feeling weak. Maybe just my inner Democrat is blossoming.

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 10:06 am

I love the Italian arm-waving-while-talking chromosome

Yellerdawg October 10, 2012 at 10:34 am

Or, it could just be the amphetamine psychosis settling in.

MosesInvests October 10, 2012 at 10:46 am

That's common to the entire Mediterranean. My ex says that I can't speak Hebrew with my hands in my pockets.

Come here a minute October 10, 2012 at 10:06 am

Rick Santelli won that debate — he is in every way the superior shouter.

BaldarTFlagass October 10, 2012 at 10:07 am

When he's on, they should call the show "Cock Box."

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:22 am

Better than Blox.

LibertyLover October 10, 2012 at 10:08 am

Can you be a market whisperer if you shout all the time?

johnnyzhivago October 10, 2012 at 10:08 am

All of this makes me wonder – can we trust anything? Could this all be a dream where we're really living in a dystopian world where we are nothing more than batteries to power a giant computer complex (let's call it a "Matrix") that really runs the world???

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:34 am

Our whole solar system… could be, like… one tiny atom in the fingernail of some other giant being…

MosesInvests October 10, 2012 at 10:47 am

Oh, wow, man….

freakishlywrong October 10, 2012 at 10:08 am

"He doth be an asshole too much"

ttommyunger October 10, 2012 at 10:09 am

I'm old enough and country enough to remember quilting bees. Seven or eight old women would sit around quilting and gossiping. On occasion one old woman would sit in; too lazy or stupid to quilt, but would hover at the periphery and chime in (In Camden, Missouri her name was Orrie Sellars). This scenario is different because one of the women is young.

kyeshinka October 10, 2012 at 10:35 am

I wonder what they call quilting bees in Camden, New Jersey? Not making a joke here; just a legitimate question.

ttommyunger October 10, 2012 at 10:41 am

1. I have no ideal how they came to be called “Bees”. Camden, (Ray County) Missouri. Pop. 385 when I lived there.

bobbert October 10, 2012 at 1:19 pm

Prolly comes from spelling bee. Now, if I only knew where that came from….

ttommyunger October 10, 2012 at 1:24 pm

To Bee or not to Bee; that is teh question.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

shelwood46 October 10, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Looked it up. They think bee meaning gathering comes from the Latin "bene" meaning "boon" which became "been" meaning "help given by neighbors" shortened to "bee".

John Birf Society October 10, 2012 at 10:11 am

Santelli is a dangerous virus that affects the gastrointestinal and central nervous systems. Extended bouts can cause paranoia, delirium, confusion, and is associated with waste products to spewing out of every orifice.

eggsacklywright October 10, 2012 at 10:12 am

Breaking OT: Romney to donate a pander to the DC zoo.

prommie October 10, 2012 at 10:12 am

Well look at that, its the triumph of anecdotal evidence over scientific statistical analysis! In other words, "are you gonna believe me or your lying eyes?" Math is of the devil, my buddy BillyBob done tole me the Obamaconomy is bad fer his shit-hauling bidness, so it is.

This guy is living proof that when the republicans get desperate, the clinically insane turn pro.

FakaktaSouth October 10, 2012 at 10:21 am

Fuck these assholes, fuck them and their need to shit on any good news ever, to lie and pervert facts about our tenuous prosperity, to try and make things seem worse than they are, and to prohibit progress on any level in the name of "winning" "appearing to be right" and "selfish greed." They should all join HST in hell. (except it's probably funner if he's there)
And this is what I say when I am in a GOOD mood.

glasspusher October 10, 2012 at 10:30 am

Well said. Is there any paperwork I need to fill out to apply for a Wonkette crush on you?

MosesInvests October 10, 2012 at 10:48 am

Get in line, buddy.

eggsacklywright October 10, 2012 at 11:06 am

She does inspire upfisting lust, don't she?

glasspusher October 10, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Don't hit me! Don't hit me! I'm trying to show her how tough I am!

prommie October 10, 2012 at 12:55 pm

So, aren't you gonna respond to your legions of admirers, my dear? I will just be standing here tapping my foot for a while.

FakaktaSouth October 10, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Oh my! Well of course wonkette crushes are very nice, but I'm gonna love you forever for reals.

prommie October 10, 2012 at 1:12 pm

I guess I am gonna have to accept that, even if I did have to say something first. Forever, for reals.

glasspusher October 10, 2012 at 10:29 am

"Guess by now you'd realize, there ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes"

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 10, 2012 at 12:55 pm

"A mile can't be 5,280 feet! There's no way! A friend of mine walked a mile once and he said it totally felt more like 3,000 feet! 4,000 feet tops! Fact! So there!"

teebob2000 October 10, 2012 at 10:15 am

Rick Santelli is a 6-foot cock in a suit.

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:24 am

Sans suit.

smitallica October 10, 2012 at 10:15 am

Thank you, Santelli, for proving the old adage: If you have the facts on your side, pound the facts. If you have the law, pound the law. If you have neither, pound the table.

You fucking asshole.

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:36 am

When do you get to "pound sand?"

weejee October 10, 2012 at 10:17 am

For further facts are stupid things this morning, the Economist reports that if you want stock prices to go up, hire a Demrat to be your Prez. If you want and need nil for stock market returns hire a Replunklican.

Vote Bamz for bidness.

anniegetyerfun October 10, 2012 at 10:32 am

Just because they done said those numbers in a smart British voice don't means I gots to believes them.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 10, 2012 at 10:17 am

I'm guessing "Santelli" is Italian for "raving delusional spastic screaming lunatic".

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 10:29 am

"So. Epilepsy runs in your family?"

ElPinche October 10, 2012 at 10:17 am

Santelli , a show about nothing.

MistaEko October 10, 2012 at 10:20 am

Ignore that the BLS rules set up walls of separation between politics and beancounters that church and state dream about…

Routinely, business journalists espouse something to the effect of "If you want to really know if this bit of news is true, just look at how the markets are reacting to it." And sure enough, the market went up after the numbers came out.

That CNBC would have a roundtable to wonder if this basic tenet of market systems was broken some way, some how, and global investors are in on the con job, all while the green arrow ticks higher, disqualifies anything they may say later. Because this isn't politics, it's people's money. Why on earth would you want to listen to some politically slanted blow hard tell you what to buy or sell when the next corn futures number comes out?

Fucking kill your television. Or at least switch to BloombergTV.

SoBeach October 10, 2012 at 10:31 am

Why on earth would you want to listen to some politically slanted blow hard tell you what to buy or sell when the next corn futures number comes out?

Fucking kill your television. Or at least switch to BloombergTV.

Abso-friggin-lutely. I turned CNBC off years ago. Political screaming makes as much sense on CNBC as it would on ESPN.

GunToting[Redacted] October 10, 2012 at 10:20 am

They really do make it easy to keep the list of the first to be up against the wall when the revolution comes current.

ManchuCandidate October 10, 2012 at 10:20 am

Remember

Enron
GE
Worldcom
AOL/Time Warner
Any darling from the Tech Boom/Bust
US Amercia Real Estate Bubble
Bear Stearns
AIG
etc etc etc

You know the various corps and markets, loud mouth hypocritical assholes like Santelli have been vigorously defending as the paragons of virtue. Defending number juggling is a way of life for dicks like them.

teebob2000 October 10, 2012 at 10:20 am

…and glasses.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 10, 2012 at 10:21 am

Let's make "Santelli" a thing, like Dan Savage made "Santorum" a thing.

I suggest "Santelli" shoud refer to that last bit of pure liquid bile in your throat after you vomit.

As in: "You all done puking brah?"
"Almost. [spit] Still a little Santelli left. [spit]"

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:38 am

Needz moar creampie.

Tommmcatt_Again October 10, 2012 at 11:42 am

I think it should refer to that pube you always get in your throat when you go down on someone.

ahnc October 10, 2012 at 10:24 am

The signs of desperation from the Tea Party is so friggin uplifting.
Better than my morning cup of coffee.

glasspusher October 10, 2012 at 10:26 am

All I'm sayin' is, if you want a different speed of light, all you have to do is change the numbers!

Yellerdawg October 10, 2012 at 10:30 am

I was hoping his head would explode Scanners-style right there on the screen. If/when that happens, I will go with the conspiracy angle. Until then, I will go with, "In your face, suckers!" Or, alternatively, "Holiday season hiring, idiot."

BadKitty904 October 10, 2012 at 10:30 am

I'm guessing that wallowing in delusional conspiracies is easier than facing facts?

hagajim October 10, 2012 at 10:31 am

I'd like to know when CNBC became a political channel. I thought they were supposed to cover business for fucks sake.

SoBeach October 10, 2012 at 10:35 am

It started in the summer of 2008, picked up steam in November of that year, and went full-Santelli in February of 2009.

eggsacklywright October 10, 2012 at 11:09 am

Tail-gunner Joe K. has been very helpful in this area.

Dr_Zoidberg October 10, 2012 at 10:39 am

When I connected the dots I got a giraffe wearing a top hat! I don't even know what that means for the economy….

LibrarianX October 10, 2012 at 10:50 am

Caffeine driven genius.

Esteev October 10, 2012 at 10:53 am

Cocaine* driven genius.

FTFY

DahBoner October 10, 2012 at 10:51 am

Tea Party -> Purple Kool-aid Party

Esteev October 10, 2012 at 10:53 am

Short Santelli: I'm not saying there's a conspiracy but there could be! And I'm not that irresponsible not to speculate. And by speculate, I mean scream about student loans.

delaney_blom October 10, 2012 at 10:54 am
glasspusher October 10, 2012 at 8:32 pm

That's just crazy, Eddie.

fuflans October 10, 2012 at 11:00 am

you know, if you turn off the sound, you can really focus on spain's ibex numbers.

also you will notice some of the ugliest people on tv.

Chow Yun Flat October 10, 2012 at 11:01 am

“If you are looking for a conspiracy — and I’m not — you would only need to change certain numbers!”

Santelli's IQ number for example: from 10 to 9 (which is still way too high).

AddHomonym October 10, 2012 at 11:12 am

If this is allowed to go on this is not a society. THIS IS ANARCHY!

lulzmonger October 10, 2012 at 12:38 pm

Vaporware: the meat-based format.

Needs more Santelli biting the heads off of live chickens.

Good to know that these shouty Hairdo Delivery Systems were so sharp at picking up on the REAL conspiracy to rig those LIBOR numbers … oh, wait, actually they totally fucked the pooch on that one. For years on end.

Well, at least they warned folks away from losing their shirts over toxic ARMs & bag-o-burning-shit financial packages in 2006-2008 … oops. looks like they all had their dicks up Fifi that time too!

Hmm … perhaps a "Mandatory Pound Of Flesh Extraction" failure clause is in order.

MC5 October 10, 2012 at 2:40 pm

Steve Liesman is a man who lies. It's in his name and everything.

aklibtard October 11, 2012 at 12:55 am

This is the old playbook. Come up with a total fucking insane bullshit, then keep repeating it so often that it starts to become an actual "controversy". Eventually the news reports "both sides" of insane bullshit just to show they're not biased. Truth and bullshit get so convuluted that eventually the bullshit is a legitimate position to take. I'm just asking questions.

thatsitfortheother1 October 10, 2012 at 10:40 am

:)

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