Overcompensating Millionaire With Cartoonishly Large House Threatens Employees With Chain Letter

by Jesse Taylor

it's hard out here for an anthropomorphic evil duckIf you work – and in this Obama economy, at least a few of you do, probably – then it’s about a 92% certainty that your boss is a dick.

Your boss, however, is not nearly as much of a dick as David Siegel, founder and CEO of Westgate Resorts, and builder of a 90,000 square foot house, who straight stole a fake chain letter about how high taxes would force him to kill and/or fire all of his employees, changed “taxes” to “Obama”, and then seriously sent that shit like a stone cold G.

The letter is insanely long, because SURPRISE someone insanely egotistical enough to threaten their employees’ jobs if they vote the wrong way is not good at brevity, but some juicy excerpts are below.

In spite of all of the challenges we have faced, the good news is this: The economy doesn’t currently pose a threat to your job. What does threaten your job however, is another 4 years of the same Presidential administration. Of course, as your employer, I can’t tell you whom to vote for, and I certainly wouldn’t interfere with your right to vote for whomever you choose.

Goodness me, no! He would just like to share a well-reasoned missive on why you will destroy America with your contrary opinion. First, we must understand where he’s coming from. Siegel has sacrificed and sacrificed, even to the point where he is incapable of building a house as large as 30 big suburban homes.

I put my time, my money, and my life into this business — with a vision that eventually, some day, I too, will be able to afford to buy whatever I wanted. Even to this day, every dime I earn goes back into this company. Over the past four years I have had to stop building my dream house, cut back on all of my expenses, and take my kids out of private schools simply to keep this company strong and to keep you employed.

[...]

Now, the economy is falling apart and people like me who made all the right decisions and invested in themselves are being forced to bail out all the people who didn’t. The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed 42 years of my life for.

YOU GOT YER OBAMAHOUSE YET??? If so, kick back in your Obamahammock and drink your Obamalatte, because Siegel would like you to Obamastand why he is nearly destitute (read: not at all destitute): Obama invented taxes to give Siegel’s money to you.

Unfortunately, the costs of running a business have gotten out of control, and let me tell you why: We are being taxed to death and the government thinks we don’t pay enough. We pay state taxes, federal taxes, property taxes, sales and use taxes, payroll taxes, workers compensation taxes and unemployment taxes. I even have to hire an entire department to manage all these taxes. The question I have is this: Who is really stimulating the economy? Is it the Government that wants to take money from those who have earned it and give it to those who have not, or is it people like me who built a company out of his garage and directly employs over 7000 people and hosts over 3 million people per year with a great vacation?

Not that great, bro. It is so strange how Obama put all of these taxes in place and then raised them mercilessly. We remember the Karl Marx State Federal Property Sale Use Payroll Workers’ Comp Unemployment Omnibus Fucking You With Taxes Bill of 2009 fondly.

So where am I going with all this? It’s quite simple. If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, as our current President plans, I will have no choice but to reduce the size of this company. Rather than grow this company I will be forced to cut back. This means fewer jobs, less benefits and certainly less opportunity for everyone.

Apparently, the eighteen new taxes Barack Obama introduced over the past four years were bad, but the nineteenth will be the death knell of capitalism.

You see, I can no longer support a system that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it, so will your opportunities. If that happens, you can find me in the Caribbean sitting on the beach, under a palm tree, retired, and with no employees to worry about.

You have to think that immediately after Siegel hit send on this e-mail, he turned to a tiny, bulbous henchman who frequently commits pratfalls when nervously carrying out his master’s bidding and cackled until he lost his voice.

I miss early-90s Disney afternoon cartoons.

[Gawker]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 303 comments }

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I won't hit you but I can't promise that if I swing my arms wildly you won't accidentally get in the way. I can't tell you not to walk in front of me, but you know…

Tommmcatt_Again October 9, 2012 at 4:47 pm

"Stop hitting yourself! Stop Hitting yourself!"

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:14 am

Homer Simpson: "OK, pie. I'm just going to start walking forward and biting air, like this… munch, munch… and if you get eaten, that's just too bad. Munch munch… [walks forward, bangs head on stove hood] OW!! Oh, the hell with it!" [eats pie]

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 4:22 pm

I put my time, my money, and my life into this business — with a vision that eventually, some day, I too, will be able to afford to buy whatever I wanted.

Y'know, Dick…I mean, Dave…most people, even rich people, want to have enough money to leave to their kids and maybe take a really nice vacation or two every year, or retire at 40, or what have you.

Not many people would be as nakedly….Ferengi….as you are, my friend.

Mittaplasia October 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm

A chapter of the Rules of Acquisition was read to Davie at bedtime every night.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 4:37 pm

"Davie, always remember Rule 97"

"What's that, mummy?"

"97. Enough…is never enough. Now wash your lobes and off to bed with you!"

"But mom! I have three hotels on Park Place!"

"Had, Davie. Had. Now they're mine"

UnholyMoses October 9, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Not sure if I should be proud or depressed that I know what you and actor are referring to …

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Embrace your inner Trekker.

Mittaplasia October 9, 2012 at 9:36 pm

When they first started making the news, I thought the Kardashians (Cardassians) were a spinoff of Star Trek and I decided to just keep it that way in my mind.

RufusTFirefly October 9, 2012 at 11:42 pm

Treat your employees like family–exploit them.

Lascauxcaveman October 9, 2012 at 4:31 pm

Naked Ferengi? Ugh.

It's still lunchtime out here on the left coast my friend.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Naked Ferengi

(SFW, totally)

ThundercatHo October 9, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Of course his wife is naked if she, too, is a Ferengi.

Schmannnity October 9, 2012 at 4:22 pm

With 90000 square feet of house, his poor children out of private school will be homeschooled in style.

CommieLibunatic October 9, 2012 at 6:36 pm

I just used my handy-dandy drafting program to see how big that is.. and holy FUCK. That's over twice the size of the office/shop I work at; it measures roughly 200' square and that still only comes out to about 40,000ft^2!

What in the great howling fuck does one family even NEED that space for? A tank collection? A velociraptor paddock?

GunToting[Redacted] October 9, 2012 at 6:43 pm

It's for his indoor hot air balloon collection.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:16 am

That's why they had to make the ceilings so tall.

emmelemm October 9, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Calling Boat of Velociraptors!

PhilippePetain October 9, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Ostentatious displays of conspicuous consumption?

Schmannnity October 9, 2012 at 8:14 pm

43,560 square feet in an acre. The house is over two acres.

bobbert October 9, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Um, it's two fucking acres. Depending on how many floors are involved, it could be bigger than Buckingham Palace. I assume they need several jai alai courts.

anniegetyerfun October 9, 2012 at 7:04 pm

No, no, he said that EVERY DIME goes back into the company. Which means that he must house employees in the big house.

Schmannnity October 9, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Just the House Ni**ers.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:16 am

90,000 square feet?
[a la Sideshow Mel]
Surely that must be a typographical error!

Jus_Wonderin October 9, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Can a douche be unmitigated?

Schmannnity October 9, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Undiluted.

Gleem McShineys October 9, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Unsweetened.

Esteev October 9, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Unrepentant?

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:17 am

Trump-quality.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 4:25 pm

With enough vinegar.

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Douche mitigation is probably a growth industry these days.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Maybe after Nov 7 when people have to start mending fences.

Mittens Howell, III October 9, 2012 at 4:52 pm

unirrigated?

mbobier October 9, 2012 at 4:23 pm

Translation: WAAAHHHH! Furthermore, WAAAAAAAHHHHH! And, finally — WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Lascauxcaveman October 9, 2012 at 7:12 pm

And you know, with 7000 employees getting this email, mathematically speaking, it's likely at least one of them was gutsy enough to respond back to it with your exact words.

And at least one responded back with something along the lines of "Don't be an asshole, Dave."

mbobier October 9, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Oh, I do hope so!

thedeathofirony October 10, 2012 at 10:33 am

Let's hope they use "Reply All"

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 4:24 pm

You see, I can no longer support a system that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it, so will your opportunities.

So basically, loserboy, YOU FAILED MISERABLY! Quitter

mrpuma2u October 9, 2012 at 5:04 pm

This guy is almost as big of a whining baby wussy as Jack Welch!!!

Goonemeritus October 9, 2012 at 4:24 pm

There is a nice documentary about this guy and his charming wife. It shows him on the edge of bankruptcy with his insane house half completed. 2008 almost ruined him not Obama’s policies.

fuflans October 9, 2012 at 4:40 pm

'queen of versailles"? for realz?

now i really have to see that movie.

and today i was just listening to a discussion of 'as goes janesville'. nice symmetry.

CommieLibunatic October 9, 2012 at 6:38 pm

From what my history professor told me, the Palace of Versailles cost something like 3% of the French GDP at the time of its construction. That probably isn't the best thing to compare your compound to during our current class war.

Schmannnity October 9, 2012 at 4:49 pm

He sued the filmmaker for defamation and for putting him and the trophy wife in a bad light. As an example, she is shown renting a stretch limo to go to McDonalds.

PubOption October 9, 2012 at 4:55 pm

I thought she would eat cake.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 5:01 pm

She looks like she's had quite a bit, actually.

Self-Uploader October 11, 2012 at 9:16 am

Oh, it's that guy. Didn't he also say that he did something illegal that got Bush W into the White House in the first place? Why exactly isn't he writing his letters from a jail cell?

ManchuCandidate October 9, 2012 at 4:25 pm

His employees were further terrified at the Mandatory General Information Session when a man lost his (fake) arm to a truck named "Obama" and who then turned to them and said "And that's why you don't vote for the black guy!"

gullywompr October 9, 2012 at 4:25 pm

The heads. You're looking at the heads. Sometimes he goes too far. He's the first one to admit it.

OneDollarJuana October 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Mr. Siegel's methods are … unsound.

axonneuron October 9, 2012 at 4:52 pm

He's reached his breaking point.

HarryButtle October 9, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Can I be Willard? 'Cause I'll take the mission. I'll terminate his command (with votes).

no_gravity October 9, 2012 at 4:25 pm

What is it, crazy businessman coming out of the closet week? And, he couldn't even come up with an original letter.

BoatOfVelociraptors October 9, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Dude must suck at business if he can't make money when the Dow doubled in value over the past 4 years.

Callyson October 9, 2012 at 4:29 pm

And corporate profits are at an all time high under Obama.

Lascauxcaveman October 9, 2012 at 4:44 pm

He made enormous investments in real estate, right up to the bursting of the bubble.

OneDollarJuana October 9, 2012 at 4:51 pm

And they are investments in resorts, properties that only benefit from lots of surplus cash in the economy. If he wanted economic stability he should have been a plumber.

Jus_Wonderin October 10, 2012 at 6:42 am

Or an HVAC tech. Lordy those guys bank!

Lascauxcaveman October 9, 2012 at 4:25 pm

This is probably the kind of stuff that you get when click on a Newsmax link like "BILLIONAIRES ARE DUMPING STOCKS" or "ECONOMISTS PREDICT REAL MELTDOWN YET TO COME" like I never do. Wingnut chain letters.

Barrelhse October 9, 2012 at 9:49 pm

I read those headliners and mutter "Go fuck yourself, Peckerhead."
But I never click the links.

PsycWench October 9, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Where do we get to the part where he assumes personally the costs of the roads he uses, the structural integrity of the Dream House material he uses, the education of his work force and so on?

Come here a minute October 9, 2012 at 4:49 pm

I think there may have been lead in his paint, though.

WhatTheHeck October 9, 2012 at 4:55 pm

He can never get to that part because he lives in a different world from the rest of us. In his deluded mind. He needs help.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 9, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Dude, those all happen because FREEDOM!

An_Outhouse October 9, 2012 at 6:06 pm

that chinese dry wall is a great deal.

Callyson October 9, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Over the past four years I have had to stop building my dream house, cut back on all of my expenses, and take my kids out of private schools simply to keep this company strong and to keep you employed.

Oh, fuck you–how many necessities (not the luxuries about which you are whining) have your employees had to give up over the past four years to keep you in business?

Asshole.

CommieLibunatic October 9, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Oh, but what a lot of us would give to see this doucheba- er, job creator become macaroni-and-cheese broke.

ChapterUndVerse October 10, 2012 at 12:56 am

My neighbor works for a CEO who cried poor and made employees borrow against their 401(k) accounts in the recession to keep their jobs. Want to know how hard it is to leave a job when you'll have to pay back what you borrowed from yourself and find another job that isn't there?

Callyson October 10, 2012 at 1:11 am

JFC, I hope the neighbor and his or her co – workers file a lawsuit. Suze Orman would bust the chops of this asshole for this move (come to think of it, she or her staff might be able to refer them to a decent attorney…worth a try. Good luck to them.)

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 4:25 pm

Whoohoo! I speculated that he'd plagiarized from the chain email, and I was right!

And yet, I win NOTHING. Good day.

Mittens Howell, III October 9, 2012 at 4:50 pm

If you uncover a troll, you win a troll doll: #:)<

It's the law.

DemmeFatale October 9, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Oh, Dok.
You know you win the hearts of the Wonkettes all the time.

Barrelhse October 9, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Loser.

RufusTFirefly October 9, 2012 at 11:44 pm

Nonsense. You win the internet.

Callyson October 9, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Now, the economy is falling apart and people like me who made all the right decisions and invested in themselves are being forced to bail out all the people who didn't. The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed 42 years of my life for.

And your solution is to elect someone who has no interest in holding those thieves on Wall Street accountable. Brilliant fucking idea.

DemmeFatale October 9, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Somehow I was sure he was gonna say 47 years of his life.
(I don't know why that number popped into my head!)

Biel_ze_Bubba October 9, 2012 at 6:47 pm

If he'd made "all the right decisions", he would not have gotten fucked over in the real estate fiasco, like a million other moronic speculators, and their victims.

GuanoFaucet October 9, 2012 at 4:27 pm

So where am I going with all this?

To hell?

gullywompr October 9, 2012 at 4:27 pm
emmelemm October 9, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I'm sorry, what? What the hell is that? (Is that his trophy wife?)

Callyson October 9, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Just as tasteless and vulgar as I expected.

Rules for Radicals prevent me from saying what I'd like to see happen to this guy. Suffice it to say, *not* with votes…

Blueb4sinrise October 9, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Those implants are expensive!

Gleem McShineys October 9, 2012 at 4:39 pm

That beergut implant just looks totally fakey McFakerson.

snowpointsecret October 9, 2012 at 4:34 pm

It almost looks like she doesn't even care he's there with her.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 4:39 pm

He doesn't. That's just it. He can dump her and buy a new whore.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:29 am

Lou Sarah's got plenty of time on her hands these days.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 9, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Wow. I bet that lady is at least 47% human.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 4:44 pm

I can see two parts that clearly are not. Maybe four if you count the tits.

Esteev October 9, 2012 at 5:34 pm

I will be billing you for yet another liquid-ruined keyboard.

glasspusher October 10, 2012 at 12:31 am

Growth industry: Wonkette keyboard insurance?

fuflans October 9, 2012 at 4:52 pm

i was just going to post that picture.

it should be titled 'what america will look like if romney wins'

Theywontlisten October 9, 2012 at 5:21 pm

He doesn't look like he's missed any meals and she looks like she's been rode hard and put away wet quite a few times

Chet Kincaid_ October 9, 2012 at 6:05 pm

He can always put Trophy Wife back out on the corner to work off that mansion mortgage.

CommieLibunatic October 9, 2012 at 7:02 pm

Nice chair. Mr. Siegel, Albert Dunlap on Line One…

kingofmeh October 9, 2012 at 7:59 pm

rosebud!

Mittaplasia October 9, 2012 at 8:35 pm

He has an inflated inner tube under his shirt? Float trip?

BoroPrimorac October 9, 2012 at 9:34 pm

I see he is into drug lord chic.

Barrelhse October 9, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Absolutely tasteless. He doesn't deserve enough money to buy whatever he wants because he is an ignorant low-class jerk. Nouveau Money does not bestow knowledge and appreciation on dolts like Dave, instead he's blessed with sycophants and thieves.
What a complete shithead; glad I don't know him or work for him.
And he's FAT.

ImForMitt! October 9, 2012 at 10:17 pm

If he didn't have a cartoonishly large house, it would clash with Ms. Seigel's chest.

Negropolis October 9, 2012 at 11:45 pm

That's his hooker daughter sitting on his lap, right?

Joshua Norton October 9, 2012 at 4:28 pm

with no employees to worry about.

And I'm sure they'll appreciate the hell out of it.

This is the biggest bunch of crap gathered in a mansion since Grey Gardens.

snowpointsecret October 9, 2012 at 4:28 pm

The economy under this president is helping business. Therefore, vote against him so I don't have to fire you.

Sure, let's give tax cuts to the job creators actively, you know, not creating jobs and such.

Indiepalin October 9, 2012 at 4:29 pm

I've had to cut back on my trips to the House of Ill Repute.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Yes, the best way to deal with a slight decrease in your profit margin due to an increase in taxes is to produce less, so you make less. Any good capitalist would rather give up some extra profit than see the Government get another $.05, which they would probably spend on Muslims or the Poor.

Gleem McShineys October 9, 2012 at 4:47 pm

What kind of math is it when you subtract an additional 5% from a huge mountain of money, that it ends up zero?

Must have something with carrying the one, or the president is a n***r, or something.

OneDollarJuana October 9, 2012 at 4:56 pm

There's a minor flap on our local Patch site about legalizing marijuana. Believe it or not, when I suggested that legalizing pot and taxing it might be better than sending that money to headchopping drug lords, some brilliant mind replied with "so you want to give MORE money to the government? I'd rather send it to the drug lords!"

Not kidding.

Jukesgrrl October 9, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Tell him you'd be happy to pass along his address so the drug lords can drop by and show off the automatic rifles they bought with his would-be taxes.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:33 am

Something tells me this fuckweasel would rather burn his business AND his much too ornate house to the ground before he gave those lazy poors a nickel.

emmelemm October 10, 2012 at 3:06 am

Indeed. One word: Insurance.

calliecallie October 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm

He runs a resort. Half his employees are probably undocumented immigrants anyway (maids, landscaping, wait staff), and therefore can't vote – especially in Florida!

That said, the guy is a total asshat. Why would anyone work for him?

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 4:51 pm

7.8% unemployment? Just sayin'.

Veritas78 October 9, 2012 at 8:34 pm

See? It's Obama's fault. If we had a real economy, nobody would work for this asshole.

calliecallie October 10, 2012 at 12:14 pm

I'm from Michigan. I laugh at 7.8%

Callyson October 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm

You see, I can no longer support a system that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive.

Neither can I, which is why I'll be voting for the candidate who does *not* want to raise taxes on the middle class to pay for even more tax breaks for the wealthy. OBAMA 2012!

Mumbletypeg October 9, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Someone help this guy back on his feet, so he can whet his sob story into stump speech and get re-elected for President of himself.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 4:31 pm

The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed 42 years of my life for.

Yes, like shoes. Or food. Or a roof overhead. Those luxuries.

ChapterUndVerse October 10, 2012 at 1:01 am

Entitlements, also too.

Not_So_Much October 9, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I do like his golden throne. At least he's 'keeping it real'.

CommieLibunatic October 9, 2012 at 7:05 pm

If there's any way to endear someone to your financial plight, it's gold everything.

ALIVE! October 9, 2012 at 9:10 pm

Disgusting excess … I has it.

Jukesgrrl October 9, 2012 at 10:03 pm

But does he have a miniature giraffe and a solid gold remote control? Try to keep up, dude!

Dudleydidwrong October 9, 2012 at 10:49 pm

I've seen those chairs before. Doesn't the seat lift up? There's a chamber pot underneath. I'll bet wifey has to empty the thing.

SoBeach October 9, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Sometimes I think it would be fun for the President to spend just one day doing what these assholes are always accusing him of doing. They would shit themselves.

CommieLibunatic October 9, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Word. When I hear these guys or the trailer trash who want to be these guys go on like this, I wish O'Dawg were even half the dictator they made him out to be.

CthuNHu October 9, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Needz moar tumbrels.

Roy Hobbson October 9, 2012 at 4:33 pm

You see, I can no longer support a system that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive.

YOU JUST PLAGIARIZED A 26,000-WORD MISSIVE, DICK.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 4:34 pm

No no! He exploited a resource that was widely and freely available!

Lascauxcaveman October 9, 2012 at 4:33 pm

"If I can't be pitcher I'm gonna take my ball and go home."

This guy is lucky he wasn't beaten to death with an aluminum bat at age 11.

EatsBabyDingos October 9, 2012 at 4:51 pm

Was the pitcher John Kruk?

OneDollarJuana October 9, 2012 at 4:57 pm

There's still time …

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:36 am

"Wooden bats break too easy, and then where does THAT leave ya?" — Paulie Walnuts

iburl October 9, 2012 at 4:34 pm

I'm so poor, that I may have to retire to a Caribbean resort with all my monies.

prommie October 9, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Really whats the fucking point in trying?

Schmannnity October 9, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Went to the Westgate Resorts site. He's a freaking timeshare salesman! A paragon of business virtue.

Trannysurprise October 9, 2012 at 4:35 pm

If he didn't put out a Spanish version at least half of his employees didn't read his dumb shit anyways.

SayItWithWookies October 9, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Dear You People —

I've had it with y'all — despite my best efforts to harvest your surplus labor value and pay you less and less proportionally every year, you fuckers have managed to cling to the vine while enduring year after year of belittlement, humiliation, hardship, deprivation and squalor. So if you vote for that damn socialist again, just as things are starting to get better for you, I promise to step on each of your fingers until you fall off the cliff — because the only reason I got into business was to bask in the slavish devotion of people I despise. Oh well — guess it's back to schtupping the help.

Yours never,

David

elviouslyqueer October 9, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Now, the economy is falling apart and people like me who made all the right decisions and invested in themselves are being forced to bail out all the people who didn’t. The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed 42 years of my life for.

Dude, you sell fucking TIME SHARES. You make bank on these same people overspending their paychecks on YOUR SHITTY "RESORT" PROPERTIES.

Fuck you, you greedy pretentious overbearing classless trailer trash motherfucker.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 4:40 pm

I was trying to compose a post that summed up this, but you clearly have put it better than I ever could.

ChapterUndVerse October 10, 2012 at 1:06 am

If the third paragraph is copyrighted, I'd like to license it. The trochaic lead-in to accelerating anapestic bombasticity would look nice on top of a Romney/Ryan bumper sticker.

bikerlaureate October 9, 2012 at 10:12 pm

With a chain of ownership from which the buyers can never escape…

luke_warm October 10, 2012 at 2:10 am

thank you. i honestly felt a sense of relief after reading that.

MiniMencken October 9, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Let's see, this a a Florida resident who made his money in time-share condos, the most intelligent real estate investment ever devised by the mind of man. Putting him out of business would be, how you say, a good beginning.

TootsStansbury October 9, 2012 at 4:36 pm

I hope this guy has enough money left over to afford the luxury of a food taster.

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 4:42 pm

Also one of those mirrors on a stick to check his brake lines before he drives anywhere.

OneDollarJuana October 9, 2012 at 4:58 pm

And a bomb-sniffing dog.

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 5:06 pm

I dunno, the ASPCA would object to this man having a dog.

Jukesgrrl October 9, 2012 at 10:05 pm

Yeah, he's due for a Youngstown tune-up.

Mittens Howell, III October 9, 2012 at 4:51 pm

I hope he's stupid enough to pay his food taster minimum wage.

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 4:59 pm

I hope he personally handed a copy of this letter to his kitchen staff and then stood there, glowering, while they read it.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:43 am

"Here's your booger, Sir. I mean, your burger. BURGER! Yeah, that's the ticket."

Schmannnity October 9, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Yep. Tastes like urine.

Gleem McShineys October 9, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Oh send this back straight away Mister Seigel.
(Because only two people pissed in it, the sous chef was out on smoke break)

Dudleydidwrong October 9, 2012 at 10:54 pm

Evidently he is a violent anti-smoker and makes his thousands of employees sign a pledge that they will not ever smoke even while away from their shit-ass jobs. I wonder if he makes them sign pledges that they won't jerk off unless they are in his presence?

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:40 am

Wifey-Poo looks like she can barely stand to be in the same picture with him, so it's a safe bet she's not gonna start his car for him in the mornings.

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 4:37 pm

I suppose it would be wrong to wish for this asshole to learn, through direct experience, the difference between a 4-point increase on marginal tax rates and REAL class warfare, wouldn't it?

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 4:42 pm

With votes, you mean?

Oh yes, I thoroughly endorse a tar-and-feathering of votes followed by a bonfire of votes inside his living room. Maybe a few pitchforks of votes up his bum, too.

Veritas78 October 9, 2012 at 8:24 pm

While he dangles from a lamppost of votes.

MosesInvests October 9, 2012 at 4:50 pm

"REAL class warfare"?

In her book A Distant Mirror: The Calamitous Fourteenth Century, Barbara Tuchman writes about a peasant revolt in 1358 that began in the village of St. Leu and spread throughout the Oise Valley. At one estate, the serfs sacked the manor house, killed the knight, and roasted him on a spit in front of his wife and kids. Then, after ten or twelve peasants violated the lady, with the children still watching, they forced her to eat the roasted flesh of her dead husband and then killed her.

That is class warfare.

Arguing over the optimum marginal tax rate for the top one percent is not. (HT to the Hon. Senator Al Franken).

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Precisely the passage I was thinking of.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 4:59 pm

That's not class warfare, that's a Friday night around the 212 mansion.

Esteev October 9, 2012 at 5:32 pm

A 3.6% take hike is, like, the same thing.

Veritas78 October 9, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Have the wives of Lloyd Blankfein, Leon Cooperman, and Jamie Dimon heard about this?

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:46 am

I like that WAY more than I should.

fuflans October 9, 2012 at 4:54 pm

i don't know doc. they're your rules.

Jus_Wonderin October 9, 2012 at 4:39 pm

I probably shouldn't have done this, but I commented through Facebook to that link. I am sure I will get hate "posts".

ChickTract_Fil_A October 9, 2012 at 7:13 pm

I believe I blown my alias by going to the Westgate Resorts Facebook page posing as a timeshare customer complaining about receiving this strange global email yesterday.

Jus_Wonderin October 9, 2012 at 7:33 pm

I think it is worth it to dispell some of the “misconceptions”.

UpstateYorkee October 9, 2012 at 4:39 pm

muthafucka's goin Galt!

CommieLibunatic October 9, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Then go, already! I'm tired of living in a land where greed is virtue. I recall Ron Paul or someone from his camp daydreaming about an ocean platform nation off the coast of San Fran without gun laws.

bonghitforjesus October 10, 2012 at 12:17 pm

If only!

Trannysurprise October 9, 2012 at 4:40 pm

"On January 20, 2009 Westgate Resorts Ltd. was found guilty and had to settle with the US Government for its violations of the Telemarketing Sales Rule (“Rule”), 16 C.F.R. Part 310, including the National Do Not Call Registry provisions. As part of its settlement with the US Government, it had to pay a $900,000 fine."

BTW – this is the asshole that "worked hard" etc. by calling me 20 times a day after I told him I didn't want his shit.

Generation[redacted] October 9, 2012 at 6:09 pm

Actually, he "worked hard" by threatening to fire some guy if he didn't call you 20 times a day.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 9, 2012 at 6:37 pm

"Westgate Founder and CEO David Siegel was found guilty of sexual harassment in a lawsuit brought by former Westgate employee Georgette Meyers. Meyers worked for Westgate for 14 years. She claimed that Siegel offered $1 Million to have sex with her. Meyers claimed that she had to repeatedly fight off unwanted advances from Siegel, and a Florida court awarded Meyers $5.4 Million in damages in February 2008."

The man has some interesting ideas about the sort of luxuries he's 'entitled' to buy.

docterry6973 October 9, 2012 at 4:41 pm

I wonder if his employees are looking forward to their holiday party.

Oh, and that house? It is the famous 'Versailles' house planned to be the largest private residence in America. Old Dave hit it big in the time share business, but got hit when the bubble burst and the bankers called his attention to all the loans he had co-signed. He's been trying to sell off his tasteless white elephant since.

Yes, he is a titan of industry and a pillar of his community, no doubt.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 9, 2012 at 6:09 pm

It takes a very special mentality to whine about how you got screwed by the collapse of the housing market, when you were part of the problem.

CommieLibunatic October 9, 2012 at 7:16 pm

Oh god, I just looked that thing up on Google Earth. Even from the air, it's like some abominable zigguraut in its scale.

Gleem McShineys October 9, 2012 at 4:42 pm

We pay state taxes, federal taxes, property taxes, sales and use taxes, payroll taxes, workers compensation taxes and unemployment taxes. I even have to hire an entire department to manage all these taxes.

Just like every other goddamn fucking business throughout the history of all history, but still.

CARRY ME TO MY GOLDEN THRONE, OR I SHALL PEN THE HARSHEST DECREE YET, PEASANTS!

anniegetyerfun October 9, 2012 at 6:56 pm

Seriously, someone call the fucking WAAAAMBULANCE. You'd think he'd be delighted to create more jobs, but NO, he has to sob like a titty baby over employing an Accounting department.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 9, 2012 at 4:44 pm

…real gauche.

mbobier October 9, 2012 at 4:44 pm

This link seems appropriate, somehow:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxyhfiCO_XQ&fe

Jukesgrrl October 9, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Wow, that would have broken my heart if it wasn't broken already.

Blueb4sinrise October 9, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Uncle Bugsy would be proud!!

UnholyMoses October 9, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Thank you, World, for once again showing me that karma takes entirely too fucking long to make its way 'round to some people.

not that Dewey October 9, 2012 at 4:45 pm

How many pretend unpopulated faux-Western towns has he built, huh? Loser.

Mumbletypeg October 9, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Too funny. When I read the part about "90,000 foot square house" just *above* the "fake chain mail", I read "fake 90,000 ft square" estate or else that's what took shape in my mind's eye and I recollected the exact same story of that Koch guy's weird sad little epic play station.

"Population: Me." (I'm too lazy & ill-timed with commute home to look up and hyperlink it)

ChickTract_Fil_A October 9, 2012 at 6:38 pm

I'm hoping for the last 30 minutes of WestWorld.

fuflans October 9, 2012 at 4:46 pm

yeah. as goonermeritus noted, this asshole has a whole goddamned documentary dedicated to his obscene ways. his downfall had NOTHING to do with barack obama. here is imdb summary:

In 2008, the Siegel family was top of the heap with the wealthy and politically influential David Siegel running the successful Westgate Resorts time-share business. To enjoy their good life, he and his engineer turned beauty queen trophy wife, Jackie, were building the largest single family private home in America. Suddenly, both the US economy and Westgate were rocked by the devastating sub-prime mortgage collapse. In the new economic reality with the business teetering on ruin, we follow the Siegels as they struggle to scale down their grotesquely ostentatious lifestyle. For this overprivileged family, accepting that situation proved a dispiriting struggle even as their unfinished dream home became a monument of their superficial values.

i would see the movie to gloat except i hear they're so pathetic, one of the dogs dies.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 9, 2012 at 4:49 pm

His beauty queen trophy wife is definitely engineered.

kingofmeh October 9, 2012 at 8:06 pm

i loved her in "best in show."

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:03 am

You know who ELSE was a beauty queen?

mrblifil October 9, 2012 at 5:27 pm
Esteev October 9, 2012 at 5:43 pm

I wonder what the hourly rate is. Can't be more that $20.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 9, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Lots and lots of work.

Jus_Wonderin October 9, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Oh my, is that how beauty queen is defined in the oughts?

GunToting[Redacted] October 9, 2012 at 7:13 pm

She seems partial to cooch shots. Quick, someone get Hustler on the line!

Chet Kincaid_ October 9, 2012 at 7:39 pm

I was wondering if any of you other guys noticed that. (No I wasn't.)

PsycWench October 9, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Apparently their income has greatly limited Ms. Siegal's ability to keep her roots colored. Seems odd to pose in these multi-million dollar settings with a skunk stripe.

Esteev October 9, 2012 at 5:44 pm

struggle to scale down their grotesquely ostentatious lifestyle

There is a lot wrong with this sentence.

Chet Kincaid_ October 9, 2012 at 6:14 pm

Ozzie Mandias, the Time Share King!

bobbert October 9, 2012 at 11:37 pm

Look on the works she's had done, and despair.

Chet Kincaid_ October 10, 2012 at 9:55 am

hehe

Gleem McShineys October 9, 2012 at 7:22 pm

YOU GOT YOUR SCHADEN IN MY FREUD!

YOU GOT YOUR FREUD IN MY SCHADEN!

Barrelhse October 9, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Spoiler. Just like Old Yeller, is it?

OurHoboSenator October 9, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Oh noes, civilization is bound to collapse if the time share salesmen GO GALT!

Generation[redacted] October 9, 2012 at 4:55 pm

And then where will the ignorant masses spend two weeks a year for a low low initial purchase plus annual fee plus plus processing fee plus maintenance fee plus reservation fee plus resort fees?

DahBoner October 9, 2012 at 9:58 pm

Past performance is no indication of future performance, and naseau, dizziness and sweating.

SayItWithWookies October 9, 2012 at 4:47 pm

Poor whiny bastard — if I didn't want to work harder for less money, I'd've been unemployed since about 1996.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 9, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Reposted from Jack Welch story, but just as valid:

This Just In: Rich, Privileged White Man Has Thin Skin, Is Whiny Baby.

mustangsavvy October 9, 2012 at 4:49 pm

"You see, I can no longer support a system that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it, so will your opportunities. If that happens, you can find me in the Caribbean sitting on the beach, under a palm tree, retired, and with no employees to worry about."

In other words, fuck you motherfuckers! If this shit blows up, I've got my Cayman Islands trust fund all ready to roll, bitches and I'll be watching this country burn to the ground from the comfort of my 400,000 sq foot compound built on the tears of immigrant children. Also, I pay no taxes because hahaha that whole tax department I hired? All they do all day long is make my tax bill as small as humanly possible. Like my dick.

Love & Kisses,
Your Imperial Leader

P.S. Get the fuck back to work!

widestanceromance October 9, 2012 at 4:50 pm

NOTHING says 'class' like a bloated mound of polyester-sleeved white trash seated upon his golden throne with his ladywhore (counting the days until his massive heart attack, if she could count).

Chet Kincaid_ October 9, 2012 at 6:19 pm

What you said!

Negropolis October 9, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Trump libel!

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:06 am

"Man, don't you think I know she hates me?
Man, don't you think I know that she's no good?
If she knew how, she'd be unfaithful to me"
– Randy Newman, "Wedding in Cherokee County"

pinkocommi October 9, 2012 at 4:51 pm

"You see, I can no longer support a system that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it, so will your opportunities. If that happens, you can find me in the Caribbean sitting on the beach, under a palm tree, retired, and with no employees to worry about."

Now is a good time to educate this dickwad about all the people who are still working because they can't afford to retire.

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 4:51 pm

At least the Ladies love him:

Westgate Founder and CEO David Siegel was found guilty of sexual harassment in a lawsuit brought by former Westgate employee Georgette Meyers. Meyers worked for Westgate for 14 years. She claimed that Siegel offered $1 Million to have sex with her. Meyers claimed that she had to repeatedly fight off unwanted advances from Siegel, and a Florida court awarded Meyers $5.4 Million in damages in February 2008.

Esteev October 9, 2012 at 5:40 pm

Why fuck for a mil when you can sue for 5.4? I'm sure Siegel respected her business savvy.

ChickTract_Fil_A October 9, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Human Resources today: Siegal? AGAIN?

Jukesgrrl October 9, 2012 at 10:15 pm

I hope she got her whole judgment before he went bust.

Barrelhse October 9, 2012 at 10:15 pm

Liberal activist judges taxed the shit out of him.

mavenmaven October 9, 2012 at 4:51 pm

"But if you listen to my missive, you can get free tickets to Disneyland. All you have to do is read or listen to our missive, and perhaps look at one or two of our lovely time share apt models, and you can go to Disneyland free. Now what was your cell number and email address?"

Nibbler of Niblonia October 9, 2012 at 4:52 pm

this is the company that goes around to wine festivals in my area and holds a "raffle" for a free stay at one of their time shares, and then they use everyone's entry slip to just call and market to them to come and attend a time share presentation. they take a credit card to "hold" the reservation for you, and promise not to charge you anything. We didn't take the bait…

not a surprise that this shady company would have an equally shady CEO

UnholyMoses October 9, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Reason #5,098,201 to vote for Obama: Assholes like this one will leave us the fuck alone.

So, ya know … VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Barrelhse October 9, 2012 at 10:17 pm

And, hopefully, it will make their heads esplode.

Negropolis October 9, 2012 at 11:59 pm

Oh, they sure as hell won't leave us alone, but they won't have a direct line to the leader of the free world, so there is definitely that benefit.

Doktor Zoom October 10, 2012 at 12:56 am

Actually, they'll squeal like a stuck pig.

Of course, they'll still be stuck.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:08 am

And they'll still be pigs.

Chet Kincaid_ October 10, 2012 at 9:54 am

You know it's not as simple as that.

UnholyMoses October 10, 2012 at 10:02 am

Sadly, yes … yes I do.

But a guy can dream, can't he?

I mean, all I want for Xmas is for all these whiny rich fucks to go and find their Galt Gulch on some other continent if/when Obamz is re-elected. Then the rest of us can start having nice things again without their interference.

But, yeah … never gonna happen. Thus, it's more of a "we can haz more better rich peeple now plz?" situation. (Again, dreaming here … )

friendlyskies October 9, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Yeah, you can't really crib a letter like that after the fall of your company was the subject of a fabulous and detailed documentary. I loved "Queen of Versailles," everyone should see it. But if you don't, here's the summary: 2008 happened, everyone in the USA cut back on luxury goods, timeshares are a luxury good, his company faltered, dude made several bad business decisions – to keep his 90,000-square-foot home and a huge tower in Las Vegas rather than sell them off, among others- and finally his company failed. It was like a Greek tragedy. And had nothing to do with Obama; I believe the word is "hubris."

ahnc October 9, 2012 at 4:57 pm

So, if Obama wins, this CEO retires to the Caribbean after firing his employees.

Another fine example of the Greed is Good philosophy.

stopthemovie October 9, 2012 at 5:01 pm

This guy has been robbin Peter to pay Paul for so long now I hope he goes to jail or straight to fuckin hell

barto October 9, 2012 at 5:03 pm

I would love to see his ACTUAL tax rate. Of course he gets nothing that supports his business in return for his taxes. What a Dick.

GeorgiaBurning October 9, 2012 at 5:04 pm

He'll shut down a timeshare selling business? Another reason to vote for Obama, as far as I'm concerned.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 9, 2012 at 5:04 pm

All I can say is, where exactly *is* this line for direct payment of rich people's taxes into my lazy ass pocket, because I want to get on it.

Mapmonger October 9, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Goddammit, wonket. You keep making me revise my "First One Against The Wall When The Revolution Comes" list.

rickmaci October 9, 2012 at 6:53 pm

You start to understand a little better how it was the French Revolution got all caught up with the guillotine.

scorpy1 October 9, 2012 at 5:08 pm

If that happens, you can find me in the Caribbean sitting on the beach

Guy has a point: the system penalizes his workers and gives his unproductive arse a cozy retirement.

HouseOfTheBlueLights October 9, 2012 at 5:14 pm

And just to be clear. building a 90,000 square foot house falls under "making all the right decisions"?

rickmaci October 9, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Building a 90,000 sq.ft. house that you can't finish…

DahBoner October 9, 2012 at 9:52 pm

90KF2 is the New Small.

mrblifil October 9, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Plus also Obama's (half) black.

a_pink_poodle October 9, 2012 at 5:19 pm

I can't tell you how to vote and I won't interfere but if you vote for that communist I'LL FUCKING FIRE PEOPLE AT RANDOM EVER HOUR ON THE HOUR! You have one hour to comply with my demands. And to prove I'm serious, I just fired a father of four so I could save 4$ a year!

ChickTract_Fil_A October 9, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Hands in the air. Anybody buy a Westgate timeshare on credit? This man REALLY hates you.

Warco3 October 9, 2012 at 5:36 pm

What a fucking horrible person.

ingloriousbytch October 9, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Back in the good old days, guys like this would just spend their money on hookers who would let them scream "I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!" while fucking them. Now everybody's political.

Esteev October 9, 2012 at 5:37 pm

NY Mag called the movie The Queen of Versailles "a brilliant metaphor for everything screwed up with the American economy and the culture that shaped it."

Esteev October 9, 2012 at 5:41 pm

I'm sure John can buy a needle with an eye large enough to fit his fat ass through.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 9, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Good thing this dickhead's business didn't exist during the Clinton administration, because those taxe rates would have just wiped him right out.

Serfville October 9, 2012 at 5:42 pm

I knew Westgate Resorts, I worked for Westgate Resorts, I was a friend of Westgate Resorts & you Sir, are no Westgate Resorts! Ok, I know a 'lil about that "Hey, you won a trip to Florida!" Crap company cold calling you at dinnertime to REALLY to sell you a timeshare if you come down & listen to their 20 hour timeshare presentation. Does the word drywall with holes in it mean anything to you? Yes, cutting corners by the shitload. Does working for $4.00 per hr mean anything to you? Worse wages than Disney. This fraud yacht shit makes that BP guy look like Mary Poppins. I didn't work for that Dickensonian company but I know the lowdown by osmosis. Remember the Dr. that wouldn't see patients that voted for Prez, & posted a note on his strip mall Dr's office to tell you to go home & croak if you did, he ain't treating you? Same idea. Fuck faces. Rise up America! Forget about the F'n debates. This is Nazi shit going down. Save the constitution for craps sake!

Carabella1 October 9, 2012 at 5:49 pm

Oh, cry us a river, dick… Sorry… Dave. It's really pathetic when rich people whine.

Barrelhse October 9, 2012 at 10:24 pm

I bet he learned it from watching the baseball players.

An_Outhouse October 9, 2012 at 5:59 pm

i guess he didn't make 'all the right decisions' after all.

BartStarrland October 9, 2012 at 6:00 pm

'Adversity doesn't build character, it reveals it'. A hackneyed cliche, yes, but more than a little relevant these days. God what pussies these guys [hedge fund mgrs, Welch, Siegel] are.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 9, 2012 at 6:05 pm

His "back story" is overshadowed by what people actually see and hear? Funny how that works, ain't it?

rickmaci October 9, 2012 at 6:06 pm

"Last year, Siegel lost a sexual harassment lawsuit in Orlando federal court. The trial was Page 1 of the Orlando Sentinel and led TV news broadcasts. A salacious sex scandal that played out in court for four years, it was the Orlando version of Indecent Proposal. Dawn Myers, who was fired after working 14 years for Westgate, claimed Siegel offered her $1 million for sex and that Jacqueline propositioned her for a ménage a trois. Myers also alleged that Siegel sexually harassed and groped her repeatedly in the 1990s and 2000 while she dated one of his sons.

Siegel denied the allegations in court, but the jurors sided with Myers, awarding her $5.4 million. Afterward, Siegel complained they ruled against him because he was a “wealthy guy.” The judge later reduced the award—to $610,000."

He wasn't satisfied with just trying to fuck his employees, now he wants to fuck them over too.

emmelemm October 9, 2012 at 7:05 pm

He ain't no Robert Redford, that's for sure.

Chet Kincaid_ October 9, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Even the few millionaires and billionaires we supposedly have on our side aren't brave enough to publicly shame assholes like this guy.

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Oh, I dunno… I bet Nick Hannauer would be more than happy to take him on.

Chet Kincaid_ October 9, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Who? That is my point.

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Heh…. he's not entirely unknown; he got rich as a startup investor in Amazon.com, and has been a consistent "tax the rich, for godssake" voice; he's mostly known online due to that kerfuffle about the TED site initially not posting his talk because it was "too political." He was also one of the people Jon Ronson interviewed in this terrific GQ piece about income inequality that I blogged about back in July. He doesn't have the profile of a Warren Buffett, but he's a far better voice for "our" side than Siegel is for "theirs."

Jukesgrrl October 9, 2012 at 10:23 pm

I agree. Why don't Ron Howard and Steven Spielberg make a movie about this dick instead of just going to dinner with Obama?

Barrelhse October 9, 2012 at 10:26 pm

OK. I'll do it.

carlgt1 October 9, 2012 at 6:39 pm

amazing – it just shows the problem with this country is a guy like this who should be settling into a guillotine right now; will probably end up in Mitt Romney's cabinet!

MinAgain October 9, 2012 at 6:51 pm

When you're getting hammered by the economy, every rich Republican looks like a tool.

Chow Yun Flat October 9, 2012 at 6:59 pm

kick back in your Obamahammock and drink your Obamalatte…

I would like a nice Obamalette (3 eggs, please) for breakfast as well.

ChickTract_Fil_A October 9, 2012 at 7:05 pm

Is he the bald-headed guy in Willards 47% video?

anniegetyerfun October 9, 2012 at 7:10 pm

"If that happens, you can find me in the Caribbean sitting on the beach, under a palm tree, retired, and with no employees to worry about."

Someone needs a solid dick-punching. You're not in business as a favor to your employees, you fuckwad. If you don't enjoy it, then sell the business to someone who does.

Veritas78 October 9, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Actually, he does (or did). In the Gawker comments, it is detailed how he harassed one of his employees for four years, even offering her $1 million to have sex with him. She won a $5.4 million lawsuit (and apparently did not have to have sex with him.)

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:30 am

That probably cost him a lot more than paying his taxes, ya think?

Gleem McShineys October 9, 2012 at 7:34 pm

"If that happens, you can find me in the Caribbean sitting on the beach, under a palm tree, retired, whining endlessly about how terrible Obama is to every cabana boy unlucky enough to want to try to get a tip out of me."

There you go, my ambulatory stool sample friend, to match your butthurterrific reality!

ChickTract_Fil_A October 9, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Employee retaliation on the super-rich in the resort industry is historically gruesome. NEVER FORGET THE GREAT WESTWORLD TRAGEDY OF '73!!! But from the smoking carnage arose Futureworld!…ps- never forget the great futureworld tragedy of '76…

Chet Kincaid_ October 9, 2012 at 7:41 pm

In other Asshole Oligarch News, I believe Ed has been covering this story about the Coal Mine King who made his miners take the day off without pay to stand behind Romney at a campaign stop, and he is also heavily threatening his workers to donate to Mitt, sending out shaming emails and spreadsheets with who's given what.

EDIT: In fact, Ed is just about to talk about our Time Share King right now!

anniegetyerfun October 9, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Heard an interview with a spokesperson for the mine who said that "No one was FORCED to attend the rally, but they were given the day off with no pay and told that attendance was mandatory."

Of course you couldn't count on the reporter to ask what the fuck the difference was.

JimmyPete October 9, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Oh David saw you at the Entelmanns day old bread store picking up some stale donuts for the house quests squirrel away in your obscenely large house. Thank you sir, I'll have another.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 9, 2012 at 8:10 pm

90,000 square feet!!!!! How many bathrooms?

DahBoner October 9, 2012 at 9:48 pm

"All of them. Katie."

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:15 am

Tragically, one.
He was too cheap to pay for an architect.

anniegetyerfun October 10, 2012 at 2:16 pm

I think they said 30.

randcoolcatdaddy October 9, 2012 at 8:53 pm

"My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it, so will your opportunities."

My motivation to wipe your ass or give you your pain meds if you wind up in elder care has been destroyed by your whining like a spoiled child.

TheGrandInquisitor October 9, 2012 at 8:55 pm

I cannot wait for this guy's post-revolution show trial.

DahBoner October 9, 2012 at 9:44 pm

Why is it when a businessman takes money from the government in the form of tax cuts, he's a "bold, job-creating genius"?

But when a poor person takes money from the government in the form of food they're "moochers"?

ttommyunger October 9, 2012 at 9:56 pm

"…you can find me in the Caribbean sitting on the beach, under a palm tree….." I don't really think you want that.

bobbert October 9, 2012 at 11:40 pm

The Caribbean is pretty big. It might take me a while to find him.

ttommyunger October 10, 2012 at 7:55 am

Just follow the stench.Sent from the Field, not in Garrison.

Barrelhse October 9, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Jeez, Dave, you don't look so hot. Be a shame if you never got to enjoy that palm tree.

Negropolis October 9, 2012 at 11:32 pm

These modern conservative lies about taxes are the "lies from the pit of hell" they are always prattling on about.

RufusTFirefly October 9, 2012 at 11:45 pm

I could stand to see more of this lot Go Galt.

lulzmonger October 9, 2012 at 11:46 pm

A hugbox: somebody needs one.

Of course, some models are more therapeutic for bystanders than for the recipients.

Negropolis October 10, 2012 at 12:02 am

But, the president is still black and Siegel is a "job creator."

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:11 am

"Even to this day, every dime I earn goes back into this company. Over the past four years I have had to stop building my dream house, cut back on all of my expenses, and take my kids out of private schools simply to keep this company strong and to keep you employed."

But that's OK. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Really. I'll just sit here… alone… in the dark…

"I can no longer support a system that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. [...] If that happens, you can find me in the Caribbean sitting on the beach, under a palm tree, retired, and with no employees to worry about."

On what? You're broke. You've put every dime you earned back into the company. You just said so. We all heard you.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:19 am

And the folks at the Onion are just shaking their heads.

Jus_Wonderin October 10, 2012 at 6:56 am

It is difficult for them lately. This stuff is writing itself and they are feeling blocked and uncreative.

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 12:24 am

"Unfortunately, the costs of running a business have gotten out of control, and let me tell you why: We are being taxed to death and the government thinks we don’t pay enough. We pay state taxes, federal taxes, property taxes, sales and use taxes, payroll taxes, workers compensation taxes and unemployment taxes. I even have to hire an entire department to manage all these taxes."

And then this happened:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ip7YU_kuB0s

Stevola October 10, 2012 at 12:58 am

"We are being taxed to death"

If only

emmelemm October 10, 2012 at 3:05 am

"Literally."

tessiee October 10, 2012 at 1:12 am

"Now, the economy is falling apart and people like me who made all the right decisions and invested in themselves are being forced to bail out all the people who didn’t."

See, this is what *I* thought when we all had to bail out the banks.
Oh, FINE then! Except I didn't make all the right decisions; now please stop snickering.

upthruster October 10, 2012 at 9:14 am

"Now, the economy is falling apart and people like me who made all the right decisions and invested in themselves are being forced to bail out all the people who didn’t."

Because obviously he built this company all by himself…he built that…with no help from anyone else, just by making all the right decisions and the company appeared.

"or is it people like me who built a company out of his garage"

Yeah, he built that resort company out of a garage. Like renting sleeping cots under the shelves of paint cans and old spider webs…that's how you build a resort business…in a garage!!

"I even have to hire an entire department to manage all these taxes."

Yes, he has to actually hire people to do financial work now… when all he had to do 42 years ago was open a garage door and make all the right decisions and the business appeared. Now he has to hire people-WTF?!

"Over the past four years I have had to stop building my dream house, cut back on all of my expenses, and take my kids out of private schools"

He has a hotel to live in on every prime resort location you could imagine and yet he needs a dream home. Why not just open up a garage and make a decision and it will appear dude? Oh and the private schools! What would you do if your children had to associate with those other kinds of people.

Pete in Williamsburg October 10, 2012 at 9:46 am

Bill Rorich: This is a brutal layoff.
Paul Moore: You can make it less brutal by knocking a million or so off your salary… Bad joke, I'm sorry.

Douché October 10, 2012 at 10:27 am

Gentlemen, to evil!!!!

Yellerdawg October 10, 2012 at 11:13 am

The guy who started the largest single family home in America, then went broke, complains about people who overspend then go broke. hah. fucking. hah.

Baba_NinjaCat12 October 10, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Great ending if they lost everything and lived in a shed.

harobedyelsnit October 10, 2012 at 2:20 pm

"I miss early-90s Disney afternoon cartoons."

Me too. Bring back Earthworm Jim and Pinky and the Brain. Wait a minute — were those Warner Brothers cartoons.
Never mind.

MNWICyborg October 10, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Seems like a good business to get into, as long as you don't mind losing money due to all the involuntarily spewed coffee/tea/beer/liquor/semen ruining dozens of keyboards per person, per year.

glasspusher October 10, 2012 at 6:27 pm

Well, yeah, sure, we'll have to do actuarial studies to find out how often it happens, which commenters and so on. I didn't say it was going to be cheap, but better than buying 50 keyboards a year, maybe.

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