the rated r superstar

Hollywood Liberals Conspire To Give R Rating To Children’s Film About Andrew Breitbart

if you cry during fictional mass murder, too young

Sorry, kids, but Pixar’s newest release, Hating Breitbart, will be rated R, so you will have to either sneak in with fake IDs or wait for it to appear on Encore in, oh, three months. The Daily Caller smells a conspiracy!

Producers of the biographical documentary “Hating Breitbart” got news last week that their film received an “R” rating from the Motion Picture Association of America. And with that move official Hollywood, long the preserve of liberal culture warriors, has had what appears to be the last laugh on the late Andrew Breitbart.

Oh, yes, the MPAA, that sterling bastion of cultural libertines. (Ask Kevin Smith about getting an NC-17 for language, right after he finishes his guest post at Pajamas Media.)

“There’s no nudity, there’s no sex,” [director Andrew] Marcus said. “Just the occasional f-word.”

“If anything the ‘R’ rating should be a result of the gutter behavior of the Congressional Black Caucus and their enablers in the progressive institutional left media,” Marcus added in a later email. “The hatred aimed at Andrew and the tea party was pornographic!”

Yes! The CBC pulled out their meaty black dongs and busted hate-nuts all over Andrew Breitbart’s face! And this film depicts that!

…And it only got an R? Lucky.

Marcus goes on to call the MPAA censorship, just like every liberal director in Hollywood ever, and goes on to compare the movie to The Social Network, which is probably a terrible idea unless Breitbart is being portrayed by Justin Timberlake.

“It does seem strange that a film like The Social Network, which reportedly has more than one use of the ‘F’ word, and partial nudity with strong sexual suggestion, and depictions of drug use including bong hits, gets a PG-13 but hating Breitbart gets an ‘R’ for four uses of the F-word,” Marcus said in an email to TheDC. “After all, The Social Network was scripted and they chose to put in all those elements. … Our depictions are not scripted and simply reflect the reality of Andrew’s vernacular.”

I don’t really understand why using “fuck” multiple times gets you out of a rating because it actually happened; by that standard sex tapes should be be G-rated and shown on Nickelodeon. Which would actually still not be as interesting as Phineas and Ferb. LOVE that fucking show.

Marcus told TheDC that a significant anticipated audience for his film, religious and social conservatives, would be turned off by an R-rated movie that would otherwise reinforce their core beliefs.

“They just won’t organize groups to go see it,” he said.

If you would go see the exact same movie with the exact same number of “fucks” in it if the movie were PG-13, a word of advice to you: get the fuck over your fucking self, you fucking fucks.

[Daily Caller]

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122 comments

        1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

          also now they can add "getting stupid panties in a bunch" to the mix. Really douchenozzle? The point of a heh heh, 'documentary' is to expose OTHER people to political views to provoke discussions not make a cheap buck off the moronic Jesus junk Churchy McGee crowd who already think your anger bear cock sucking lush was awesome. Well, maybe I stand corrected it is wingnut entertainment and no sane human would be within a mile of it.

  1. hagajim

    I can't believe they gave them a Fuc*in R rating for the use of the occasionally Fuc*! Fucking fuckers! HA HA.

    1. PsycWench

      My understanding is that "fuck" becomes R rating material if it is referring to actual sexual intercourse rather than if it is used as a swear word. So possibly there is reference to sexual activity regarding Breitbart. Which is a perfectly good reason to stay home watching Phineas and Ferb.

      1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

        the only reason to go see this pile of shit is to massively troll the dimwitted wingnuts in attendance maybe start a riot by hurling a piss filled cup at Beerfarts fat, stupid face. Of course the context of that plan would only be possible if anyone wanted to see this pile of shit which then makes it belong in fantasy land like this bitch and his whining.

  2. johnnyzhivago

    I'd like to organize a group called "The 300 Million Person Majority" who refuse to see this movie on it's opening night – and then claim success before the fact.

  3. Shypixel

    I think maybe the R rating had nothing to do with all the fucks in the movie, or with the lack of fucks that most people give about it.

    I think it is a result of the huge, steaming pile of bullshit that is the central premise of the entire movie.

    The MPAA is just trying to shield our children from a lethal dose of lies.

  4. el_donaldo

    “If anything the ‘R’ rating should be a result of the gutter behavior of the Congressional Black Caucus and their enablers in the progressive institutional left media."

    These guys are seeing a black conspiracy behind this? But don't call the filmmakers or Breitbarters race-baiters, oh no.

    1. GunToting[Redacted]

      We are all aware of the huge numbers of blacks in the upper echelons of Hollywood. Let's see… there's Will Smith… uh…

  5. SayItWithWookies

    “They just won’t organize groups to go see it,” he said.

    Translation: it won't make the Wednesday-night church basement circuit that's so useful for conservative propaganda. Unfortunately for the film's producers there's long been a divergence there, as your local freaky Republican pastor has no problem with Left Behind and apocalypse stuff, but still finds Breitbart and the secular right unsavory.

    On the other hand, I hear the skullfucking scene is genius.

  6. chicken_thief

    Everyone knows that the Congressional Black Caucus controls everything.

    Well, them and the Jews.

    1. Ruhe

      I'm pretty sure the "Protocols of Zion" specifically mentions the importance of forging an alliance with "Nubian Princes whose artillery-like powers of hate-nut shooting make them valuable in battle." At least that's what's in my translation.

  7. FakaktaSouth

    I love the comparison of Breitbart and Zuckerberg, they really did have the exact same success, no? Just both billionaires over world changing websites. It's good to see that while he's still all dead, these people keep Andy in his proper perspective.

    Dead. Breitbart is so dead. I never get tired of saying that.

    1. Willardbot9000_V2.5

      Dead Breitbart is deader than Romney's conscience, he's that fucking dead. Worms are still waiting for the bullshit to fully seep out before making him a meal.

  8. TavariousChinaSmith

    I'm guessing it's more the B word than the F word. Maybe they could try beeping it out (B****bart).

  9. Schmannnity

    Oh sure, you can claim that bestiality isn't sex, but that doesn't make it so. Children must be protected from that kind of thing.

    1. Shypixel

      Take off you blinders! Everybody know that Bamz had him killed. Probably because he was on the trail of the "Whitey" tape…

  10. Tundra Grifter

    Elsewhere, Tucker Carlson got his bowtie all in a knot because the mainstream media refuses to take "The Daily Caller" exposes seriously…

    1. LibertyLover

      Making a movie about Anrdrew Breitbart's Ghost would have been the real genius idea. It could have incorporated the Long Island Medium lady and a dog, maybe a boat with dildoes and a fake pimp…. I can see it all so clearly now… of course, it's all in the execution of it.

  11. chicken_thief

    My kids, ages 4 and 6, were so upset that they couldn't see the flick, them being huge fans of Breitbart and all….

  12. actor212

    If it had been up to liberals, it would get an X for "Xtremely Stupid" or NC-17" for "No one with an IQ over 17 should be forced to see this movie, even as a fraternity prank."

  13. zumpie

    Yes, all the kiddies are just soooooo desperate to watch something about some old, drunk, dead guy and his wingnut friends. Instead they'll merely content themselves to be brainwashed by Big Bird into being commies who share and don't judge by race

  14. no_gravity

    Marcus told TheDC that a significant anticipated audience for his film, religious and social conservatives, would be turned off by an R-rated movie that would otherwise reinforce their core beliefs.

    “They just won’t organize groups to go see it,” he said.

    Wouldn't they have been equally offended by being bused to a movie with a PG 13 rating that has the word FUCK in it? I imagine vapors all around and lawsuits against the MPAA.

    Lose-Lose situation.

    1. bikerlaureate

      The F-word used to cause an automatic 'R' rating.

      But anyway, were these potential audience members completely unaware of Andy's libertine lifestyle? Seems like they'd be scandalized no matter what the rating. (And they've gotten wise to PG-13, by the way…)

      1. no_gravity

        Completely unaware of anything resembling reality. It was the libs that caused him to sweat gin.

  15. JustPixelz

    I'm sure the One Million Moms will call for a boycott. They object to Urban Outfitters T-shirts that say "Spooning Can Lead to Forking", noting "Sadly, [that] isn't far from the truth."

  16. SexySmurf

    I hate to state the obvious, but the director could just re-edit the film and take the offending word out. But I guess that would destroy the artistic integrity.

  17. Callyson

    “The hatred aimed at Andrew and the tea party was pornographic!”

    That tells me much more about what gets Marcus off than I ever wanted to know…

  18. Mumbletypeg

    SUPERSTAR

    Adorable, their own version of Superbad, is how I'm picturing a spirited take on life of Breity with a lot of yelling/ cursing.
    I'll go see it *just* to throw half-hiccuped popcorn at the screen, each time their hapless third-wheel character, played by an unknown actor and named "McHatin'," steals a scene.

  19. Ruhe

    " The CBC pulled out their meaty black dongs and busted hate-nuts all over Andrew Breitbart’s face! And this film depicts that!"

    That phrase has earned you some major credit. You'd have to write some seriously bad posts before I'd quit on you now.

  20. elviouslyqueer

    I would probably get at least an NC-17 for the sheer amount of fucks I still don't give about fucking dead fucking fucker Andrew Breitbart. Oh, and shits too, also.

  21. carlgt1

    maybe it's that scary footage of him dying on the street and being led off to hell by shrieking demons?

  22. LibertyLover

    Have they never seen the sequel to "Get Shorty." where this phenomenon of the F bomb is discussed at length? WTF?

  23. Steverino247

    Ah, the story of a man who figured out it was more profitable to act like an asshole than to live like a decent human being. It's like those guys who claim to have been atheists but then found the expression "In God We Trust" in all those collection plates to be a more powerful argument.

  24. LibertyLover

    Marcus told TheDC that a significant anticipated audience for his film,…

    Isn't this the same audience that actually went to see a movie about Sarah Palin?

  25. delaney_blom

    Merchandising and marketing opportunity!

    For all the churches who won't use their busses to go see an R-rated movie, sell earmuffs loaded with an alternative, not potentially offensive soundtrack. ("Our God is an Awesome God" punctuated with subliminal "Don't vote for black people" on continuous loop)

  26. Exhausted66

    Does Andy appear with his shirt off at any time?
    Cuz y'know, tits will get you an R every time.

  27. gullywompr

    I love how the right wing tries to infiltrateHollywood by making their own films, which are always box-office flops, and then try to blame Hollywood for the flopping. They never understand that they are simply getting smacked by their own invisible hand.

  28. Generation[redacted]

    "Our depictions are not scripted and simply reflect the reality of Andrew’s vernacular."

    Wait. So their vaunted cultural warrior, defender of Christian values, has a potty mouth?

    i has a confuse.

  29. DahBoner

    I'd imagine the theme song goes something like this:

    Oh Andrew Breitbart
    Nothing up top
    But a bucket and a mop
    And an illustrated book about Voles

  30. FieryLocks

    He's dead moonbats, and even though your little movie will make you some money, it won't bring him back…get over it.

  31. Designer_Rants

    And with that move official Hollywood, … has had what appears to be the last laugh on the late Andrew Breitbart.

    Who's done laughing? I laugh every time I think about that coked-out douche falling down one last time on the streets of Liberal Hollywood. With votes.

  32. tessiee

    "Breitbart is being portrayed by Justin Timberlake.

    While I would actually pay money to see this (if I had money)…
    Breitbart needs to be played by someone like Vince Vaughan, Jeremy Piven (two actors who I suspect may be the same person), Nick Nolte, Russell Crowe (who's already got the puffy face down pat), et. al.
    I'd say it's the part that Mickey Rourke was BORN to play, except that they already made a Jerry Lee Lewis biopic.

  33. Naked_Bunny

    Marcus told TheDC that a significant anticipated audience for his film, religious and social conservatives, would be turned off by an R-rated movie that would otherwise reinforce their core beliefs.

    Who would have ever guessed that catering to a group of proudly ignorant dolts who make snap judgments on subjects they know nothing about might have some sort of negative consequence?

  34. Gleem McShineys

    This movie features dicks, assholes, fucksticks, cockbuckets, and shitstains.

    How in the world did they think it would get rated PG-13?

  35. Naked_Bunny

    It does seem strange that a film like The Social Network, which reportedly has more than one use of the ‘F’ word

    "Reportedly"? I see Marcus shares Breitbart's love of digging in and doing the research before shooting his mouth off.

  36. ElPinche

    It was almost was NC-17, but the "director" opted to leave out the homo-erotic scene between Breitbart and Drudge in a toilet stall .

    BTW, I love how the DC jackwagons think the MPAA is some type of government agency lead by Obama and Van Jones.

  37. lulzmonger

    This Liberal Fascist censorship-putsch could cost the film-makers up to tens of dollars in box office receipts!

    RATING = 4 OUT OF 5 HITLERS

  38. Baba_NinjaCat12

    Rated R is a fitting rating for the letter R, as in Republican, for Raging Racist, Ridiculous conspiracy theorist and people who say the letter at beginning of every sentence by pirates.

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