IMPEACH  11:22 am October 9, 2012

California Gas Prices Still Out Of Effing Control

by Sara Benincasa

A typical Californian obtains oil or perhaps gasoline, they are different we guess?Hello from sunny California, now home to two three vaginally-afflicted members of your crack Wonkette cyborg team. It is a fun state, full of many wonderful things like giant trees, Mexican goth teens, and of course, Danny DeVito’s allegedly hyperactive peen. But what else does California have to offer its mixed population of liberal shitstains and Orange County ‘Publicans? Why, the insanest gas prices we’ve ever seen in this here nation!

The rise in California gasoline prices has slowed after recent jarring increases, but nonetheless the cost of a gallon inched up to another record high, even as officials hope their emergency action will help ease the sticker shock.

The average price for regular gas in the state on Tuesday was a bit over $4.67 a gallon, according to the AAA’s Daily Fuel Gauge Report. The price was a state record and the highest in the nation.

The cost increased only a fraction of a cent overnight, however — compared to nearly 50 cents in the past week.

Only un fraction de un centado? Viva la gasolina! (This is a mixed language called “Spangmerican,” which some might call a pidgin and others might call a creole and others might call “what the gardener talks when he sprays the bushes with no mask on, because we are too cheap to buy him protection against lethal carcinogens and as long as our bougainvillea looks purty, all is right with the world.”)

But why, you ask, is the gas price so damn high? After all, the oil industry is so well-regulated and does not contribute to terrible things such as war or ecological destruction ever! Well, the correct answer is “refinery disruptions and corrosion issues” but mostly actually “stupid environmental regulations,” of course.

Also contributing to the high prices, California law, in an effort to reduce air pollution, requires that gas stations during warmer months use a special blend of fuel that is not widely available.

State leaders — and drivers — hope to see gasoline prices drop soon because Gov. Jerry Brown has ordered the California Air Resources Board to allow so-called “winter-blend” gasoline to be sold in California earlier than usual to increase supply.

Like all whiny women, Sen. Babs Boxer (D-Sodom) and Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-Gomorrah) just HAVE to find fault with perfectly sound logic and rationale. They say maybe those refinery issues are just an excuse to drive prices sky-high. Ha ha ha, as if such a thing were possible and in fact probable! Someone please confine these ladies to a room with yellow wallpaper until they expire of feminine problems. Meanwhile, your authoress will be riding around Los Angeles in a wagon pulled by a team of gay oxen, the only kind of pack animals currently available in this gorgeous state.

[SeattlePI]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 176 comments }

nounverb911 October 9, 2012 at 11:24 am

"Exxon needs more federal subsidies."
–Mitt Romney

Terry October 9, 2012 at 11:43 am

Ever notice that Republicans talk about companies and business owners as if they are either hostage takers or idiots? If we don't give these companies more subsidies, they'll take their jobs overseas! Job creators are so nervous right now, they are too afraid to hire people!

Esteev October 9, 2012 at 11:49 am

It's similar to their framing of Obama as an incompetent, weak, all-powerful super-Mao.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 11:44 am

… in their pants!

Barbara_ October 9, 2012 at 11:25 am

"Winter-blend" gasoline. Who the fuck made that decision? The brew masters at Samuel Adams?

Chet Kincaid_ October 9, 2012 at 11:34 am

Enjoy a refreshing BP Summer Shandy!

Toomush_Infer October 9, 2012 at 11:39 am

Ironic, with just a hint of haccch hacckkkkk hhackkkk….

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 11:45 am

That's been going on for decades, adding butane to gasoline to make it a little less likely to turn to sludgy ice and to bring it up to surrounding atmospheric pressure.

glasspusher October 9, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Sam Adams: Brewer, Patriot, Alcoholic.

Don't forget adding propane to butane camp fuel so it will still come out in the winter. Butane boils just north of where ice melts…

tessiee October 9, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Dang it, Bobby!

Biel_ze_Bubba October 9, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Something I learned the hard way: Just when you really, really need it the most, the damned stove won't work!

jaytingle October 9, 2012 at 11:25 am

Dave Mustaine says it's Obama's fault. And I must say, as a liberal, I have been very disappointed with Obama's performance. To be honest, it sure sounds like Romney's election will fix a bunch of stuff. Like, finally, the US will support Israel. That's sure to make gas prices go down.

BaldarTFlagass October 9, 2012 at 11:41 am

"Like, finally, the US will support Israel."

That worked so well in 1973, let's try again!!!

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 11:46 am

Hey, gas was only a quarter a gallon!

Steverino247 October 9, 2012 at 11:58 am

That worked so well because Steverino247 was in a C-141 heading that way in order to impress the Soviets that they should back the fuck off. At least that worked.

BaldarTFlagass October 9, 2012 at 1:06 pm

I liked how they were intially trying to be all sneaky and shit but flight delays led to all those C-5s and 141s full of war supplies landing in broad daylight. Whoops.

Steverino247 October 9, 2012 at 8:09 pm

The 18th Airborne Corps was put on alert and lead elements were on the way. Let's just say I wasn't part of the logistics train, my friend. If the Israeli counter-attack in the Sinai had failed, I would have been in the HOLY SHIT Land, sure enough.

BaldarTFlagass October 9, 2012 at 11:26 am

I though everyone out there drove electric cars. Or Hummers.

jaytingle October 9, 2012 at 11:27 am

I could go for an electric Hummer. If you know what I mean. 'Cause I don't.

Lot_49 October 9, 2012 at 11:32 am

Something with a fence shocker, no doubt.

Toomush_Infer October 9, 2012 at 11:40 am

Hey, I could go for a hummer anytime…

tessiee October 9, 2012 at 1:49 pm

Those aren't electric, they're manual.

BoatOfVelociraptors October 9, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Two words. Violet Wand.

glasspusher October 9, 2012 at 12:14 pm

What could be dumber…than a Hummer?

(please note capitalization of proper noun)

nounverb911 October 9, 2012 at 11:26 am

"Iraq will repay us with free oil."
–W

Esteev October 9, 2012 at 11:29 am

Californians will welcome us as liberators.

Dr_Zoidberg October 9, 2012 at 11:31 am

We have always been at war with California.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 11:46 am

Sure seems that way. We even sent them our three worst Wonketteers.

tessiee October 9, 2012 at 1:51 pm
memzilla October 9, 2012 at 11:26 am

Rethuglicans, why are you so suddenly concerned with the Invisible Hand of Teh Market's Imperial Bitch-Slap? Because, Freedom! nicht wahr?

Texan_Bulldog October 9, 2012 at 11:27 am

Drill, baby, drill!

Esteev October 9, 2012 at 11:33 am

Frack, baby, frack!

PubOption October 9, 2012 at 11:58 am

Is the American Dental Association looking for subsidies as well?

freakishlywrong October 9, 2012 at 11:27 am

Gas may be expensive in your lovely state, Sarah!!, but, save for the OC and the inland, at least you're not up to your armpits in wingnuts and zealots.

mavenmaven October 9, 2012 at 11:45 am

The two meth capitols of CA, as well.

kittensdontlie October 9, 2012 at 11:48 am

Although the trees don't sound like they are of the right height.

BerkeleyBear October 9, 2012 at 11:57 am

Add the North Forest Freaks (and I don't mean lefties, more like Deliverance extras) to get a clearer picture. California is really an archipelago of sanity islands from the Bay Area south to aspects of SD surrounded by vast pools of nutbar.

elviouslyqueer October 9, 2012 at 11:27 am

Jesus Fekkin Krispy Kremes. It's like Barry's doing everything possible to lose this election.

chicken_thief October 9, 2012 at 11:33 am

Someone say Krispy Kremes?!

~ Chris Christie, from NJ

DemmeFatale October 9, 2012 at 11:35 am

The Repubs are doing EVERYTHING to win.

MosesInvests October 9, 2012 at 11:41 am

Umm, what does POTUS have to do with this?

elviouslyqueer October 9, 2012 at 11:43 am

All of it, Katie. Duh.

eggsacklywright October 9, 2012 at 12:00 pm

When O is in office, high gas prices are his fault. When Bush was in office, the president had no control over such things. Those are the rules.

tessiee October 9, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Also, when gas prices drop, it's for reasons that have nothing to do with President Obama.

DerrickWildcat October 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

Benincasa is a Spanish word that means Benin House.
Before that, it meant Da Homey House.

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 11:32 am

Ouch. That's a long way to senegal for a punchline.

Lascauxcaveman October 9, 2012 at 11:39 am

He bought some puns from a so-called professional comedy writer, but think Egypt him.

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 11:41 am

It's getting awfully expensive to gas up Dakkar

Lascauxcaveman October 9, 2012 at 11:43 am

That's OK, my econobox Congo pretty far on a gallon of gas.

BaldarTFlagass October 9, 2012 at 11:45 am

That, and the gas station is a long way Togo.

Chet Kincaid_ October 9, 2012 at 11:46 am

Sahel of a long way Togo, but whaddaya Ghana do? And who are you calling a Guinea?!

DerrickWildcat October 9, 2012 at 11:48 am

oh no.

BaldarTFlagass October 9, 2012 at 11:51 am

Now look what you've done.

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 11:52 am

You know how it is–make a pun on Wonkette, and it'll come back on you tripoli. Puns are irresistible to a Libya know.

eggsacklywright October 9, 2012 at 12:05 pm

This is giving me a bulge in my hanging Chad area.

nounverb911 October 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

"It's all Big Bird's fault"
–Mittens

BaldarTFlagass October 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

We're sitting at around $3.45 for regular here in Texas. Maybe the oil companies are punishing California for being liberal. "Vote Romney or it'll be six bucks a gallon by Thanksgiving."

Terry October 9, 2012 at 11:44 am

I'm in the nearly communist State of Maryland are we're closer to you than to California. I think the oil companies just hate California for some reason.

BaldarTFlagass October 9, 2012 at 11:51 am

Won't let them drill off the coast, is my guess.

Generation[redacted] October 9, 2012 at 1:15 pm

That's what happens when you elect sea otters to the state assembly.

eggsacklywright October 9, 2012 at 12:06 pm

That's my crackpot theory, too, and I'm sticking with it. We're right around 4 bucks here in pinko Warshington.

emmelemm October 9, 2012 at 1:22 pm

As a Democrat, I believe it's my duty to pay $4.00/gallon of gasoline.

Esteev October 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

Environmental issues? Ugh, c'mon… the Gulf Oil Spill was so two years ago.

ifthethunderdontgetya October 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

OMG, it's SARA!!!

Rock the Casbah
~

SaraJBenincasa October 9, 2012 at 11:32 am

I RETURN WITH A VENGEANCE!

Jus_Wonderin October 9, 2012 at 11:39 am

Yes, but did you bring enough vengeance for the entire class?

HistoriCat October 9, 2012 at 2:11 pm

I call bullshit – there were hardly any putdowns of the commenters at all. I am insulted by not being insulted.

freakishlywrong October 9, 2012 at 11:28 am

Today, we are all a team of gay oxen.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 11:47 am

The yoke's on you. We've ALWAYS been gay oxen

Lascauxcaveman October 9, 2012 at 11:29 am

I blame Obama, naturally. We need Romney in the white house, with his firm hand on the middle east, he will surely bomb those gas prices back down. It's so easy.

How low do you want them America? $2.50/gallon? $1.10 a gallon? It's all a part of Mitt's secret economic plan.

PubOption October 9, 2012 at 12:02 pm

If the oil companies drill here, there will no production costs or profits taken, so who knows how low the price will go.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 9, 2012 at 2:41 pm

And the oil will stay right here in the USA, and not be sold for the going rate on the global market, because Exxon-Mobil is just so patriotic and everything.

Generation[redacted] October 9, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Mitt will build a Keystone XL pipeline through the middle of Haight Ashbury. It won't be buried underground, either, it will be just high enough above the ground so that stoned hippies bonk their heads when they cross the street.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 9, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Nothing will improve US energy costs like a pipeline taking Canadian oil to Gulf ports for export. Do Republicans assume that midwesterners will just tap into the pipe, like people do in Nigeria? Because that works out really well.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 October 9, 2012 at 5:03 pm

The most annoying part of the obnoxious Keystone pipe politics is that according to studies oil and gas will be MORE expensive in the Midwest, also.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 9, 2012 at 6:39 pm

But oil companies and their executives will profit. Ergo, GOP support.

weejee October 9, 2012 at 11:29 am

Obviously the high price of gasoline is the fault of the John Birchers. Fluoridation would have avoided this mess.

Orange County, Orange County, Orange County!!!

Lot_49 October 9, 2012 at 11:53 am

Halogen LIBEL!

prommie October 9, 2012 at 11:29 am

Danny DeVito's peen running amok, scaring the livestock and causing traffic jams, thats what I pictured, and it was not what I wanted to see.

Fucking Benincasa! The fuck?

memzilla October 9, 2012 at 11:29 am

Rethuglican House Measure to Repeal $4B in Oil and Gas Subsidies in 7… 6… 5…

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Yeah, sure. File this one under "Things C-SPAN Will Never Broadcast."

DemmeFatale October 9, 2012 at 11:30 am

Hey Welch!!
I'll trade you your jobs conspiracy for our CA conspiracy!!

Chet Kincaid_ October 9, 2012 at 11:30 am

Suck it up, Californicationists! Chicago Thug Gas Prices are ALWAYS way above 4 bucks, but you don't see us whining in a national blog about it! http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-08-29/bus

DemmeFatale October 9, 2012 at 11:40 am

High gas prices AND shitty weather?
Bummer, dude.

fuflans October 9, 2012 at 12:13 pm

yeah but we all get to vote four or five times. you can't put a price on that.

AbandonHope_ October 9, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Hey now, the weather is beautiful roughly… um… ten percent of the time! The rest of the time, we have deep-dish pizza, Chicago-style hot-dogs, Italian beef, and brats, to make us feel better.

Why, yes, I am overweight, why do you ask?

Simple J Malarkey October 9, 2012 at 10:15 pm

I grew up in Chicago and now I live in California. Gas prices will have to go WAY higher before I wish I stayed in Chicago.

BTW, Chester, is it not the case that you are in fact whining in a national blog about the price of gas in Chicago, which for the record is consistently lower than in California?

mrpuma2u October 9, 2012 at 11:30 am

I friggin hate these oil bastards, you know they are chuckling all the way to the bank, their 3 sets of jowls and chins all a jiggle.

Dr_Zoidberg October 9, 2012 at 11:32 am

And their moobs. Don't forget their moist, wobbly, fleshy moobs.

mrpuma2u October 9, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Yes lots of mleavage or moobs or man boobies. Hairy ones.

tessiee October 9, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Like former Exxon CEO Lee Raymond, who presided over the Valdez oil spill and retired with 400 million?
http://eriklerouge.blogspot.com/2010/05/oily-afte

noodlesalad October 9, 2012 at 11:30 am

The Amish takeover has begun. The Revolution will not be televised, nor on the radio, nor will it have zippers or a clean-shaven face.

kittensdontlie October 9, 2012 at 11:57 am

Yes, not on teevee, but still will be in black and white.

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 11:30 am

Sara, welcome back to Team Wonkette!

I guess that would explain the installation of those ring bolts along one wall of the writers room….

prommie October 9, 2012 at 11:36 am

Hey, where do you get those ring bolts? I have been thinking of some renovations that would feature some ring bolts.

Chet Kincaid_ October 9, 2012 at 12:08 pm

I have never seen ring bolts at Mailboxes, Etc.!

eggsacklywright October 9, 2012 at 12:09 pm

Try the ho depot.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 12:22 pm

I never get invited to the cool kids table…

chicken_thief October 9, 2012 at 11:31 am

"…a team of gay oxen, the only kind of pack animals currently available in this gorgeous state."

BABE THE PERRYWINKLE OX LIBELZ!!!!

UnholyMoses October 9, 2012 at 11:32 am

Oil prices go down, gas prices go up. You can't explain it!

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 9, 2012 at 11:32 am

Squee! Sara's back! Quick think of something funny to say… um….

I read your book you magnificent bish!

SaraJBenincasa October 9, 2012 at 11:34 am

Thank you!

emmelemm October 9, 2012 at 1:23 pm

I read yer book too! I even bought it off the Amazons. It was delightful.

Esteev October 9, 2012 at 11:39 am

Needed moar polka dot bikini.

Lot_49 October 9, 2012 at 11:33 am

Even Senatrix DiFei has convened a high tribunal to ascertain whether this outrage is the result of market manipulation by Big Oil. Ha ha, they love Barry!

FakaktaSouth October 9, 2012 at 11:35 am

What til Barry gets his Eastern European Socialist Fascist Communism kicked into high gear and starts making us all trade in our guns to buy petrol in litres for like 10bucks in North American Union pesos. We really do need to save the oil companies from anti-colonialism NOW. Save us Mitt.

(okay yes I was trying to get in all the words I have learned from some Paultarded wingnuts this last decade)

prommie October 9, 2012 at 11:50 am

Oh its worse than that, he's gonna outlaw the internal combustion engine!

HistoriCat October 9, 2012 at 2:14 pm

North American Union pesos

How many NAU pesos in an amero?

James Michael Curley October 9, 2012 at 11:36 am

Convert to natural gas and eat bean burritos.

Goonemeritus October 9, 2012 at 11:36 am

Even at $4.79 I bet you Californians will still drive their cars to their mailboxes rather than walk.

kittensdontlie October 9, 2012 at 11:51 am

It is either that or wear out the Uggs, and they are not cheap.

elviouslyqueer October 9, 2012 at 11:52 am

Word.

bobbert October 9, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Well, my mailbox is a little over a mile away, so , yeah, sometimes.

Esteev October 9, 2012 at 11:36 am

President-elect Mitt "Mitt" Romney is going to have a busy first day in office.

PubOption October 9, 2012 at 12:04 pm

But after that all he has to do is rant at the foreigners.

tessiee October 9, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Bitch got a dancing horse.

bflrtsplk October 9, 2012 at 11:38 am

Aw buck up California. Up here north of the 49th parallel, we are paying $1.43 a litre, which equals about $5.30 a gallon. Of course, we also got that thar soshulised medsun, which paid the freight for my recent multiple coronary bypass surgery, so there`s that.

ThundercatHo October 9, 2012 at 12:03 pm

Ah, the downside to poutine, bummer.

bflrtsplk October 9, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Poutine? Pfft! The surgeon said it was too much fois gras… and cigarettes … and tequilla … and cocaine … and …

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 12:10 pm

I was going to congratulate you and wish you well for continued health, but then I realized that you must by lying, since as we all know, everyone in Canada dies before they get life-saving surgery.

bflrtsplk October 9, 2012 at 12:15 pm

Actually, I did die, but they sent me back. They said I was getting too “comfortable.“

Schmannnity October 9, 2012 at 11:38 am

When Romney is elected, California will finally have access to "clean coal" cars.

Maman October 9, 2012 at 11:39 am

Blah, blah, blah… Chicago's gas prices were like that all freaking summer. Why is it that gas prices are only a concern when the price is high on a coast?

Chet Kincaid_ October 9, 2012 at 12:06 pm

We'll always be Third City/Third Coast, Maman, the Principality of the Ruler of the Free World, but not crazy enough to be written about on Wonkette. Chicago is to the Coasts as the White Sox are to the Cubs!

chicken_thief October 9, 2012 at 11:39 am

Ve got to let ze gardenair geet high on zuh cahzogenians zo I can fock heez vife ze maid while he vorks.

~Ahnuld

dennis1943 October 9, 2012 at 11:39 am

I suggest all Americans go to the ER for the installation of a Halpern Lock………so as to cut out the middle-man…………

SayItWithWookies October 9, 2012 at 11:39 am

Now if we had had 10-20,000 troops still sitting around in Iraq getting blown up by IEDs a couple of times a week, this wouldn't be happening. Because oil fears Mitt Romney, and all President Obama's ever done is to apologize to oil. That and a tax cut and we'll be taken care of lickety-split.

tessiee October 9, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I hear that Iran has been "put on notice" by Mitzi.

emmelemm October 9, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Oooh, Mitzi. I like it.

GunToting[Redacted] October 9, 2012 at 11:41 am

Oh California… I do love you so, but you are so fucking insane/bipolar. Screamingly fabulous/liberal on the coast, but driven by troglodytic ideologues in the Inland Empire and the OC. You show the world your liberal face, but your politics are so insane (Prop 13 anyone) and even though you show much potential, you just can't get out of your own way.

Hey, at least the beaches are pretty covered in raw sewage.

UnholyMoses October 9, 2012 at 11:42 am

The lack of refining capacity (the true problem with gas prices) isn't an accident.

It's a deliberate way for oil companies to fuck us over even more:

Then, over the course of two decades [80s and 90s], half of the plants shut down. In 2001, Oregon senator Ron Wyden presented to Congress a report arguing that these closings were calculated choices intended to increase oil company profits. Fewer refineries means less product in circulation, which means a lower supply-to-demand ratio and more profit. Wyden's report cites internal memos from the oil industry implying that this reduction was a deliberate attempt to curtail profit losses.

Without something other than gas to power our cars/transportation, we're kinda fucked.

Lascauxcaveman October 9, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Cheer up, high gas prices are the primary driver in making cars more efficient and developing alternative, greener technology. Do you think we'd have a Chevy Volt, Nissan Leaf, or Tesla if gas was $1.50 a gallon?

Hell, we wouldn't even have a Prius. We'd just more SUVs and more greenhouse gasses. No one seems to pay attention the the real cost of using cheap, dirty fuels.

Speaking long-term, it's objectively a good thing that they're getting more expensive.

UnholyMoses October 9, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Oh, I don't disagree even a little bit.

I live entirely too close to the old Sugar Creek refinery (read: anywhere within about 20 miles of it). Short version: Amoco poisoned the soil, ground water, and part of the Missouri river, resulting in large lawsuit and the place becoming a Superfund site.

So, yeah — fewer refineries are fine by me.

bikerlaureate October 9, 2012 at 12:26 pm

But regulation is bad.
I kept hearing that – except during the debate…

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 11:43 am

I think the politically correct phrasing is "vaginally enhanced" not "afflicted"

SaraJBenincasa October 9, 2012 at 11:47 am

My menstrual flow says otherwise.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 12:23 pm

I'd still do ya. For me, it's a feature, not a bug and I hear it's great cramp relief.

delaney_blom October 9, 2012 at 12:03 pm

I'm confused . . .is it that the writers are afflicted by having vaginas or that their vaginas are afflicted?

Now, if they want to enhance them, I understand this is popular with the youth (ie, strippers) of today.

actor212 October 9, 2012 at 12:23 pm

If I'm reading this right, it's an affliction having an afflicted vagina.

I'll see that and raise it a swollen prostate.

James Michael Curley October 9, 2012 at 11:43 am

If gay oxen are the only pack animals I guess somebody et Reagan's 20 Mule Team.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 9, 2012 at 11:44 am

Can’t we just harpoon a few whales and squeeze some oil out of them? Where does Limbaugh live anyway?

Radiotherapy October 9, 2012 at 11:44 am

It's Bush's fault.

Toomush_Infer October 9, 2012 at 11:45 am

Jumpin' Jack Flash! Benincasa's back!….

Blueb4sinrise October 9, 2012 at 11:45 am

Pro tip – YUMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

$3.65/gal. @Superfuels Station
43 E 5th St & S Cemetery Ave

http://www.arizonagasprices.com/Yuma/index.aspx

gullywompr October 9, 2012 at 11:46 am

SARA BENINCASA!!!! Yay!!!

smashedinhat October 9, 2012 at 11:49 am

Paying $7.1/gal here in Latvia dawg! And there ain't no sunshine. Plus the surfing sucks.

Chet Kincaid_ October 9, 2012 at 11:57 am

Not to mention being under the thumb of Victor Von Doom.

smashedinhat October 9, 2012 at 12:07 pm

You're marvelous you are!

mavenmaven October 9, 2012 at 11:50 am

Companies charging obscene prices for gas in LA?
Reminds one of the joke, "why do dogs lick their genitals? Because they can…"

glasspusher October 9, 2012 at 11:52 am

The gas station in my neighborhood in Oakland had plus for $5.05 a gallon this weekend. Ten bucks a gallon! Bring it on! If you value something so cheaply that you'll burn it the first chance you get, ur doin it rong. We're still cavemen, burning stuff to get by.

Mumbletypeg October 9, 2012 at 11:53 am

Just mind your writerly sensibilities once you've gone many months without rain, Sara. Otherwise you could see weird influences filter into your novel-churning efforts — dust bowl migrant types, fever dreams of fruit picking, sleeping in boxcars and old galoots w/ names like Mule Graves interloping where your beloved ghey oxen would frolic~

valgal2342 October 9, 2012 at 11:56 am

Gas prices here in KY, a no contest state, are at $3.50 average. I call bullshit.

TavariousChinaSmith October 9, 2012 at 12:00 pm

See, this is why whiney liberals who constantly threaten to move to Canada rarely do so. (Because our gas is even more expensive than in California, you see. Also, cry me a river.)

DahBoner October 9, 2012 at 12:23 pm

See also: Frozen.

el_donaldo October 9, 2012 at 12:00 pm

Somehow I visual Danny DeVito's peen as being kind of like the knot at the end of a balloon.

SaraJBenincasa October 9, 2012 at 12:05 pm

WORST.

tessiee October 9, 2012 at 2:10 pm

I try not to visualize Danny DeVito's peen at all, and I've succeeded throughout my entire life…
UNTIL NOW.

ThundercatHo October 9, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Turn those gay oxen into carne asada (or over to the PETA people) and get yourself a nice white horsey and a long blonde wig.

DahBoner October 9, 2012 at 12:21 pm

The only thing the existance of Goths in California proves is that some people can never be happy…

fuflans October 9, 2012 at 12:23 pm

while i have a total girl crush on every one of you ladies, i think we might should change this to the 'LA gossip'. i mean, boehner's thrown back three cocktails by the time you all get out of bed – and that's if you're up early.

Extemporanus October 9, 2012 at 1:00 pm

Sara, can you hear me?

SaraJBenincasa October 9, 2012 at 8:18 pm

I CAN!

Generation[redacted] October 9, 2012 at 1:17 pm

What? You mean to tell me that we're STILL using gasoline? Come on people, it's the 21st century already!

Naked_Bunny October 9, 2012 at 1:42 pm

It's too bad California's mass transit systems can't compete with, I dunno, Ames, Iowa's.

tompostpile October 9, 2012 at 1:47 pm

Want expensive gas? Prices on Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket usually have SoCal beat. The islands pay gas prices sixty cents to a dollar higher than mainland Massachusetts.

AlaskaGrrl October 9, 2012 at 2:36 pm

Highest in the nation my sweet ass! We've been paying $5.90 since last May and that was up from the previous price of $5.65/gal.. Fuck you California whiners with all your "sunshine" and "warmth". Suck it up.

lulzmonger October 9, 2012 at 4:21 pm

Yeah, I'm sure these overinflated prices have nothing to do with Big Oil building zero new refineries in the past several decades … or oil companies scamming the hell out of state wonks (unpossible!) … or their knowing that Cali NORPs would rather eat their own young than be caught dead walking from A to B.

THIS IS MORE PROOF THAT OBAMA IS MORALLY WEAK!

Welcome back Sara! Moving to LalaLand = losing my favorite podcast but also = your triumphant resurgence as Wonkette's dominatrix SpiceGirl (Verbal-Abuse Spice).

Mixed emotions: I am feeling them.

SaraJBenincasa October 9, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Ooh thank you for listening to Sex and Other Human Activities! I am sure Marcus is beating off in a cave somewhere, plotting the resurgence of SaOHA.

M. Bouffant October 9, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Meanwhile, your authoress will be riding around Los Angeles in a wagon pulled by a team of gay oxen
Hey, I take the bus too!

AtwatersGhost October 9, 2012 at 10:12 pm

California Uber Alles!

ttommyunger October 9, 2012 at 10:42 pm

I blame Obama!

MosesInvests October 9, 2012 at 11:44 am

How far are we Ghana go with this?

Lascauxcaveman October 9, 2012 at 11:48 am

Kenya just chill, Moses? We're just getting started. Uganda sit back and enjoy it, or just complain?

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 11:48 am

Obama's behind all this.It's just a ploy somalia can get that Prius she's been asking for.

MosesInvests October 9, 2012 at 11:52 am

I'm concerned about the price of marine fuel-people who have Botswana know these things.

BerkeleyBear October 9, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Kinshasa get one too, in a couple of years? Or is she holding out for a Tesla?

Doktor Zoom October 9, 2012 at 12:07 pm

Even better, since it would have a greater impact on zaire quality.

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