Today’s right-wing Obama-is-a-foreigner thing is the startling revelation that, theoretically, Barack Obama could be accepting campaign donations from foreign nationals.
Short version: Barack Obama does not own the Obama.com domain name. Some (American) dude in China does. It autoforwards to a donation page on BarackObama.com, which Barack Obama owns. Foreigners can access Obama.com through nefarious means such as web browsers, which probably means that all of Obama’s money is raised from his half-siblings in Kenya and Indonesia.
But how to prove this is happening? The campaign denies it, of course, as liars would. So leave it to intrepid pile of moist journalism Erick Erickson to investigate. And by investigate, we mean attempt credit card fraud.
So, after talking with some lawyers about the process, etc. I donated to Barack Obama. Sort of.
It is rare that I do something where I feel the need to talk to lawyers first. But giving money to Barack Obama was one of those times.
I didn’t actually do it. I made up a name, made up a passport number, made up an address in Russia — hell I made everything up except my credit card number and expiration date.
Everything was bull**** except the actual credit card number and expiration date. Everything.
Get it? DO YOU FUCKING GET IT?
Now, we reach the truly despicable part of the tale: after committing blatant fraud, Obama accepted the donation, breaking feder-oh, what do you mean he didn’t?
Barack Obama’s campaign processed my very generous $5.00 donation.
For several days my bank listed it as processing.
Then this is where the anti-climactic end to my story comes. The donation ultimately did not go through after three days of being listed as “processing.” There was no explanation.
Had the Obama campaign turned on basic verification, my transaction would have been rejected immediately. Instead, it lingered for a few days before being rejected.
So, when someone makes a fraudulent transaction on your account, it lingers for a few days, then falls off. The true terror here is what Barack Obama probably did with that transaction while it was pending (gay sexed it in the booty).
I do not know what processes the Obama campaign employs to weed these out. It actually appeared, based on the way it processed for several days, that the bank stopped it, not that Barack Obama stopped it. For the liberals saying my donation did not go through so there should be no problem — here’s the problem. The Obama campaign processed the donation. It was Bank of America that stopped it, not Team Obama. Team Obama let it be processed, something that would not have happened in Romney’s campaign or most any retailer in the nation.
For the Erick Erickson saying his bank stopped it – does he have any actual evidence? Like, did he call Bank of America? Or the Obama campaign? Or perhaps the small town in Russia from which he fraudulently hails?
Ah, well, let us not worry about our little burgeoning James O’Keefe and the crime he committed. The Obama campaign takes more than seconds to not approve fraudulent credit transactions, which is pretty much tantamount to … I don’t know, what’s something bad? Not recycling? Murder? Letting your car alarm go off at 3 in the morning? Child abuse? One of those.