DON'T THINK JUST BREAK THINGS  4:52 pm October 8, 2012

New Pew Poll Shows End Of Democratic Party As We Know It

by Jesse Taylor

it's like mr. hooper died all over again

PANIC, MOTHERFUCKERS!

A new Pew poll shows Romney up four (49-45%) with likely voters following last week’s debate. According to Twitter, blah blah sampling women Midwest Chuck Todd just DMed me and it was hot, but basically Obama has permanently and totally lost the election after Jim Lehrer didn’t have his back.

What, then, do we do, fellow Obamatards? Do we pick things up and work hard to get Barack Obama elected, making sure we and others turn out in droves?

Hahahaha, fuck you, that takes selfless effort. Blow me. Instead, let’s despair and complain on the internet, endlessly talking about how we could have run Barack Obama’s campaign, and then eventually turn into the Unskewed Polls guy. Paranoid accusations in the face of marginally bad news are no vice, dear people.

Alternately, just drink until Wednesday, when you wake up and find another poll that puts Obama up five (like, say, Gallup), then pick yourself up out of your pool of crusty 47% vomit and go into the job you hopefully still have until Obamacare puts all of capitalism out of business.

[Pew]

 
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 316 comments }

Tom October 8, 2012 at 4:54 pm

Of course the Pew poll is gonna be on Romney's side. He wants to boost military spending. PEW! PEW! PEW PEW!

schvitzatura October 9, 2012 at 8:06 am

NO BLASTERS! NO BLASTERS!

nounverb911 October 8, 2012 at 4:56 pm

Has Mittens published his favorite Big Bird Thanksgiving recipes yet?

Dashboard Buddha October 8, 2012 at 4:58 pm
Generation[redacted] October 8, 2012 at 4:57 pm

Game over, man! Game over!

Schmannnity October 8, 2012 at 5:47 pm

Shut up Hudson and get back to your post.

emmelemm October 8, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Stay frosty.

BlueStateLibel October 8, 2012 at 6:42 pm

Wait until Obama appears in the next debate inside one of those robot machines, then he can let the bitch have it.

LibertyLover October 8, 2012 at 7:45 pm

It always gives me pleasure when this guy gets it in the end… ;-)

Willardbot9000_V2.5 October 8, 2012 at 10:13 pm

eh…my favorite is when Burke gets it given that he's every corporate douche combined into one noxious form. Especially with Mittens running…makes that scene even better.

emmelemm October 9, 2012 at 2:18 am

Agreed, wholeheartedly.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 October 8, 2012 at 10:12 pm

We're in some pretty shit now man, WHAT THE FUCK WE GONNA DO?!?

Generation[redacted] October 8, 2012 at 11:26 pm

We're dead meat, man. We're fritos. We're shredded wheat and we ain't staying crunchy in milk, man, we're grated cheese, bologna on a cold roll, man!

MinAgain October 8, 2012 at 4:57 pm

"Pew", indeed. I have to hold my nose every time I read one of those polls.

deanbooth October 8, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Don't scare me like that! Nate Silver has Obama with a 78.4% chance of winning, down from last week's 86%. * breathes again *

Callyson October 8, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Speaking of whom…from his latest:

Mitt Romney remains in a considerably stronger polling position than he was before last Wednesday’s debate in Denver. But the polls released on Sunday did not tell quite as optimistic a story for him as those in the debate’s immediate aftermath.

http://fivethirtyeight.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/10/

/chillax Dems it is going to be OK just work your asses off and don't give up

Lascauxcaveman October 8, 2012 at 5:13 pm

We're not out the woods yet, just 78.4% out of the woods. So things are looking pretty good, until such time as they start looking worse.

(Basically this is what any Dem reading Nate's stuff should take away from any given day's Nate's stuff. The numbers tend to bounce around between 75% and 87%, but it's basically the same thing, day after day.)

sullivanst October 8, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Are we yet out of the timespan in which Nate said that you should basically ignore the win probabilities while the model absorbed the new data, because it was at first going to reject any change as likely being noise?

Obama's still ahead, but to use a different Nate analogy, right now it looks more like a field goal than a touchdown.

Callyson October 8, 2012 at 5:27 pm

He said that we should watch the next few days' polling numbers closely, to see if Mittens makes further progress or if the bump flattens out. If I keep refreshing the RCP presidential polling page any more frequently I am afraid my computer will crash out of sheer exhaustion…

glasspusher October 8, 2012 at 9:09 pm

"You ain't got no problem, Bamz, I'm on the motherfucker, go back there and chill them dems out and wait for the cavalry which be coming, directly"

schvitzatura October 9, 2012 at 8:10 am

glasspusher: In the fifth, your ass goes down. Say it.
Mitt: In the fifth, my ass goes down.

sullivanst October 9, 2012 at 8:28 am

Right now that almost sounds like some kind of buttchugging reference.

glasspusher October 9, 2012 at 9:27 am

If Mitt goes to Indo-China, I want a dem there waiting in a bowl of rice to pop a cap in his ass (with votes!)

Terry October 8, 2012 at 4:58 pm

I'm not going to freak out until Nate Silver shows Romney as winning.

RaflcaFlkaFlame October 8, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Thaaat's exactly my strategy.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 8, 2012 at 6:11 pm

But Rassmusen shows that they are tied!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

finallyhappy October 8, 2012 at 6:44 pm

Yeah, is that the one that calls old white people in the South on landlines?

Designer_Rants October 8, 2012 at 7:09 pm

Rasmussen is the Poll Troll. Just loves to get a rise out of the liberals.

Negropolis October 8, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Which is interesting, because Rasmussen, as the GOP poll of record, had until the conventions Romney leading pretty much every day forevere. I'm actually surprised that they have them tied instead of Romney up twenty with the narrative that's beginning to form against the president.

anniegetyerfun October 8, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Seriously, I cannot go into labor soon enough. I need to find something to distract me from politics.

calliecallie October 8, 2012 at 5:04 pm

I guess that'll do it. Hope you voted absentee!

anniegetyerfun October 8, 2012 at 5:07 pm

We only have mail-in voting in WA. Haven't gotten my ballot yet, but no doubt that it will arrive in time.

savethispatient October 8, 2012 at 5:51 pm

FYI: I just received my voter registration card – it says the Nov 6 ballots are being mailed on Oct 17.

anniegetyerfun October 8, 2012 at 5:56 pm

Oh, cool, thanks!

Lascauxcaveman October 8, 2012 at 6:45 pm

Vother registration card?

Unless you can add an 's' to that last noun and vote in at least 6 neighboring precincts you're not doing your share.

- I'm Saul Acorn New Black Panther Alinsky Ghey Marx Lenin, and I approved this message.

OneDollarJuana October 8, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Put 40 stamps on it. It will make sure it has enough postage, and the P.O. needs the money.

BadKitty904 October 8, 2012 at 5:12 pm

And best of luck! (pats your hand)

:0)

Texan_Bulldog October 8, 2012 at 5:16 pm

I believe this is the last year I'm going to get so invested in politics. It's not good for my ticker, sanity and, God knows my poor liver will not make it through another campaign like this.

Congrats on your baby. I hope it's not a terrorist anchor baby.

anniegetyerfun October 8, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Actually, she is! Brown, non-American dad of Muslim descent. I mean, we're not religious, but she'll be stuck with a Muslim-y name.

Nothingisamiss October 8, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Well good Lord, she will never be elected president with a muslim-y name!
Those people can't be Americans!

anniegetyerfun October 8, 2012 at 5:27 pm

No doubt. It's how I ensure that she will never go into politics. I have full faith that the ACLU will hire her, though.

Texan_Bulldog October 8, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Better make sure you order lots of birth certificates.

Designer_Rants October 8, 2012 at 7:15 pm

Super long-form. Super absorbent too, fer diaper emergencies…

Limeylizzie October 8, 2012 at 5:53 pm

Annie is having a brown baby!!!! How very Wonkette of you. Congrats.

anniegetyerfun October 8, 2012 at 6:00 pm

Thank you! I always knew I'd get knocked up by a furrner.

Lascauxcaveman October 8, 2012 at 6:48 pm

And do the latest ultrasounds show her wearing a little fetal-sized suicide bomber vest, in utero? How cute is that?

Simple J Malarkey October 8, 2012 at 6:23 pm

SweetyGetYerGun is going to be a beautiful all-American little girl, I have NO doubt. She has a good chance to come of age in a post-racial America. The ground sloths and giant tapirs can still be heard bellowing in the tar pits* but they will be extinct in her lifetime.

Maybe she will be part of a post-empire, post-oil, post-petrodollar America, powered by solar energy on high-speed rail, incredulous there was a time without universal health care and free education through college.

"I've been to the mountaintop… And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!"

*The dying megafauna image cold stolen from elsewhere on Wonkette, I forget where.

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Maybe BabyFun will help Chris Hayes' baby girl solve the climate crisis.

finallyhappy October 8, 2012 at 6:46 pm

So a girl- so no Barack Hussein then?

anniegetyerfun October 8, 2012 at 6:48 pm

No lie – I seriously considered throwing a "Hussein" in there somewhere. The hubby wouldn't stand for it, though.

MinAgain October 8, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I know I said that what this country needs is a Labor Party, but I had something entirely different in mind.

Best wishes for you and baby!

anniegetyerfun October 8, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Thank you! I was going to make a Labor Party joke, but my brain has shut down for the rest of the year, I think.

Texan_Bulldog October 8, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Order the epidural now!!!!

bobbert October 8, 2012 at 11:06 pm

Speaking purely as a former spectator, I approve of this comment.

Nothingisamiss October 8, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Ya know, i was just thinking of when that baby of yours might be due….

Radiotherapy October 8, 2012 at 5:38 pm

You know the best way to induce labor, right?

anniegetyerfun October 8, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Sex with teh Wonkets?

Designer_Rants October 8, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Which can only mean Buttsecks.

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2012 at 7:23 pm

I invited a pregnant woman to dinner once and she gave birth that night. Her husband said my entree induced the labor. Now overdue wimmins ask me for the recipe.

BaldarTFlagass October 8, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Boo!

Did that work? I think it's supposed to work when you have hiccups.

Dudleydidwrong October 8, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Hopefully you'll bring this new citizen into a world in which Obama is president. And best of everything as you go through the process. I never had the privileged, beings as I'm ladyparts-challenged. But I can hold your hand anyway.

finallyhappy October 8, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Congrats, best wishes- get your sleep now(if you can)!

anniegetyerfun October 8, 2012 at 6:51 pm

Thank you. :) Sleep has not been possible for months. I'm getting used to the idea.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 8, 2012 at 7:52 pm

I for one welcome our new alien overlord, er, overlady!

[congratulations!]

Monsieur_Grumpe October 8, 2012 at 7:53 pm

Is it going to be an anchor baby cause that would be really cool.
Good Luck Ms Fun.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 8, 2012 at 8:16 pm

Make sure she votes in November!

OneDollarJuana October 8, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Don't do it! From my half-vast research, I have determined that all babies are whiny, selfish, demanding, helpless, smelly, and unreasoning. In short, Republicans.

edgydrifter October 8, 2012 at 4:58 pm

We liberals can quit with the best of them. We're #1 at giving up, but at least that makes us #1 at something.

AlterNewt October 8, 2012 at 7:19 pm

Quitting is hard.

Come here a minute October 8, 2012 at 4:58 pm

Let's pin all our hopes on the VP debate — when has that ever failed?

BadKitty904 October 8, 2012 at 5:02 pm

If Handsome Joe can't kick that dead-eyed douche's ass, I'm moving to Canada.

viennawoods13 October 8, 2012 at 5:17 pm

We have our own dead-eyed douche. His name is Prime Minister Stephen Harper. I'd stay home if I were you.

sullivanst October 8, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Yet, while Harper is a raging douchebag by Canadian standards, he's a super-swell guy compared to any Republican I can think of right now.

Negropolis October 8, 2012 at 9:43 pm

I don't know. I've always said if these guys were running for an election in the States they'd be just as rabid as the rest of them. The only real difference in these new conservatives around the world is that their partiuclar locations moderate their true feelings.

I don't think Harper would be Mike Huckabee, but he'd still be a Mitt Romney, and that's bad enough.

ChickTract_Fil_A October 8, 2012 at 7:17 pm

With a little luck, Ryan won't wink at me.

Tommmcatt_Again October 8, 2012 at 4:59 pm

What is this "drink" thing you speak of? It sounds intreguing.

starfanglednut October 8, 2012 at 8:07 pm

Hey, Tommcat! Long time, no see.

Tommmcatt_Again October 8, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Been lazing about collecting unemployemnt and sniffing glue! glad to be back at work though.

starfanglednut October 8, 2012 at 8:28 pm

Livin' out your fantasy? Sleepin' late and smokin' tea?Nice to have you back.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 8, 2012 at 4:59 pm

The GOP correctly figured that any voters who are undecided at this stage are probably even dumber than the ones already in the Romney camp.

Since they're also ignorant of everything he's been saying for the past several months, it was an easy decision to just flat-out lie to them.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 8, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Standard Liberal Bias…, wait, what?

Callyson October 8, 2012 at 4:59 pm

Oh, for fuck's sake. Polls showed a huge bump for John Kerry in 2004, and we see how well that worked…

Generation[redacted] October 8, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Yeah well John Kerry didn't have Karl Rove working for him behind the scenes… oh.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard October 8, 2012 at 5:00 pm

I've been getting drunk in celebration of each pro-'Bama poll and drinking out of despair for the bad ones. Someone call 911…I think I have alcohol poisoning…blaaargh!

mavenmaven October 8, 2012 at 5:00 pm

This 24 hour news cycle is a bit out of control. The people must have the minute by minute poll results until the election!!!
(though Obama better get himself together for the next debate).

starfanglednut October 8, 2012 at 8:08 pm

If he loses this thing, I'll kill him myself.

With votes, yadda yadda…

Beowoof October 8, 2012 at 5:00 pm

Nate's numbers still look good and the substance of what Mittens said hasn't come home to roost yet. And next up, Handsome Joe, will do a number on Paul Ryan. (I hope).l

sullivanst October 8, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Wait, what? There was substance to what Mittens said? I, and just about everyone else, must have missed it, with the possible exception of noted scion Donald Rumsfeld.

BerkeleyBear October 8, 2012 at 5:13 pm

Shit is a substance, isn't it? Because that's what it was.

BaldarTFlagass October 8, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Isn't it one of the elements? Let's see: Earth, wind, fire, water, shit. Yeah, that's right.

Callyson October 8, 2012 at 5:13 pm

There was substance to what Mittens said?

Well, sort of: there were substantial lies, at least…

Beowoof October 8, 2012 at 5:43 pm

Which is my point he just literally lied his ass off and the lies are coming back to him. I don't live in a swing state but would love to see some of the Obama ads, pointing out all the lies this rich douche entitled bastard, scumbag, asshole said.

malsperanza October 8, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Don't expect too much from Biden. Ryan will look plausible, unlike Palin. It won't matter, but it also won't give us a bump.

sullivanst October 8, 2012 at 5:27 pm

After Wednesday, Biden should be on alert what to expect in terms of a torrent of complete lies about the Romney campaign's positions. Given Ryan's reaction to Joe mentioning favorably how Paul likes to talk about his father, leading him into an onstage meltdown seems quite plausible.

You're right about one thing, though – VP debates have never had any measurable effect on an election, and there's certainly no reason to expect any different this time.

Beowoof October 8, 2012 at 5:44 pm

I think Joe will make it entertaining. And I wouldn't expect a substantial bump from this debate, but at least some push back on the lies being told.

sullivanst October 9, 2012 at 1:28 am

Old Handsome makes everything entertaining. Although, him on the same stage as ZEGS will be kind of an irresistible force vs. immovable object kind of thing on the entertainment front.

Negropolis October 9, 2012 at 6:25 am

Even more than him being entertaining, I think Biden's most powerful ace in the whole is his grave and earnest seriousness when he's really hitting on a point he wants you to understand. And, his earnestness when he talks about his family is also another thing Biden does well when he speaks. When Biden implores you to "listen" you listen. I think he does this even better than Clinton who is another person that can command your attention when he wants to.

I TOTALLY see Joe pulling rank on Ryan as the elder statesman. He's going to squint his eyes like he does when demands that you get his point, and he's going to show that he and the president care more about your concerns than Ryans. I've always believed that Joe was Barack's secret weapon when it comes to appealing to visceral emotions. Obama can send you soaring if you reach to pick the high-hanging fruit, but Joe gets you right in the gut.

Joe's going to sound the alarm. God, I hope that he's going to do that. He needs to make Romney-Ryan look like a completely unpalatable option, a poison pill.

malsperanza October 11, 2012 at 11:42 pm

That went better than I expected. I doubt Biden's good performance did much to attract swing voters (of whom there are very few at this point anyway), but it probably did a lot to encourage the Dem base, which was on the verge of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, in our classic tradition.

Texan_Bulldog October 8, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Shit I don't understand how there can be 500 polls & they all say different things! I'm gonna just stay drunk until election day & hopefully won't wake up in a pool of crusty vomit at the mercy of a President Romney.

Callyson October 8, 2012 at 5:15 pm

wake up in a pool of crusty vomit

Ugh, such an unpleasant memory from 2004. Dear God, not again, my liver can't take any more…

Nothingisamiss October 8, 2012 at 5:28 pm

As horrible as that night was, my now-husband stayed over with me (on the couch, slutty libtards!) so that I wouldn't be home alone to face the fall out in my red state. Kerry didn't get the job done, but SOMEONE distracted me from despair really well for the next several days (years.)

starfanglednut October 8, 2012 at 8:10 pm

Aww, that's a really nice story. Yay for romance!

Biel_ze_Bubba October 8, 2012 at 9:15 pm

Nice to know, after all these years, that ONE good thing may have come out of that election.

sullivanst October 8, 2012 at 5:02 pm

Yeah, Nate made a good point late last week about selection bias and how it likely plays into such polling.

I personally like to think that with David Gergen saying live on CNN that Mitt Romney "flat out lied", the point has finally come where Mitt's relentless hostility to the truth becomes and remains a headline story in this campaign. In other words, in winning the battle, Romney secured the loss of the war. I hope. ;)

Lascauxcaveman October 8, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Selection bias = geek speak for "depends on who you ask." Pretty important question in polling.

sullivanst October 8, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Well, yeah, but in this case, there's a particularly powerful argument that, given the deluge of MSM reports about how Mitt Romney totally sliced Barry open and fed him his own intestines while making sexytime with Michelle, on Barry's anniversary no less, Romney supporters would be considerably more eager to spend half an hour talking on the phone with a stranger and/or robot about how awesome their guy is than Obama supporters.

Radiotherapy October 8, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Let's get to work people.
Hillary '16

BadKitty904 October 8, 2012 at 5:10 pm

Wouldn't it be fun to follow the First Black President in American history with the First Woman President*? True, we'd loose a few Bitter Old White Men (i.e., Repugs) to strokes and heart attacks in the process, but I'm willing to make that sacrifice…

*Not to mention Bubba as First Husband!

Lascauxcaveman October 8, 2012 at 6:55 pm

If you lose a few old white men but get pretty much all the womenfolk, it's a good trade off. Which is pretty likely in a Hillary '16 scenario. Her getting all grandmotherly and so.

How you gonna vote against a grandma? You should be ashamed of yourself.

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2012 at 7:26 pm

I'd like that, too, but if Handsome Joe pulls this out of the fire for his boss, the Dems will owe him.

Simple J Malarkey October 8, 2012 at 7:45 pm

I'm tracking with you on first woman president, but my preference is Warren 2016!

Redgyal October 8, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Double upfist that!

glasspusher October 8, 2012 at 9:18 pm

Make that a quadruple!

schvitzatura October 9, 2012 at 8:14 am

Franks and Beans! Franks and Beans!

hagajim October 8, 2012 at 5:03 pm

Why is everyone getting so worked up about the Poles? When I was growing up they just used to be joke punchlines.

Schmannnity October 8, 2012 at 5:51 pm

And why are people opposed to violins on the TV?

finallyhappy October 8, 2012 at 6:49 pm

Roseann Rosannadana? Is that you?

glasspusher October 8, 2012 at 9:19 pm

We like Poles and also accept Czechs.

MosesInvests October 8, 2012 at 10:06 pm

Emily Litella, actually. That's very different.

PugglesRule October 9, 2012 at 11:10 am

It's always something, Emily Litella.

Designer_Rants October 8, 2012 at 7:25 pm

How do you drive a Pollock crazy? Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner! BAM!

I used to have one about light bulbs, but my memory has erased it for your benefit.

BaldarTFlagass October 8, 2012 at 7:54 pm

It was probably good old incandescent bulbs, anyway, which the libruls are making extinct and replacing with these pigtail-looking CFLs.

Designer_Rants October 8, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Don't worry, Michele's on the case.

glasspusher October 8, 2012 at 9:19 pm

LEDs FTW

BornInATrailer October 8, 2012 at 5:04 pm

OMGINDEPENDENTSPEWPEWPEW

weejee October 8, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Right on target.

Angry_Marmot October 8, 2012 at 7:59 pm

All your swing states are belong to us.

Gratuitous World October 8, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Joe Biden standing naked in front of the mirror like Dirk Diggler

Ayn Rand Paul Tard October 8, 2012 at 5:07 pm

He's deciding on which side to 'dress'.

PuckStopsHere October 8, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Where the fuck is Ringo?

Ayn Rand Paul Tard October 8, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Where the shit's going down!

BadKitty904 October 8, 2012 at 5:17 pm

Hel-LO, Daddy!

SnarkOff October 8, 2012 at 5:51 pm

Boom chicka wow wow

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2012 at 7:27 pm

I approve of your fantasy life.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 8, 2012 at 8:24 pm

thwump.

SmutBoffin October 8, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Well, that's it. I'm buying a set of Trucknutz for the Prius and exchanging my Communistic Party membership card for a ChikFilA "Buy 10 chicken skins get one FREE" card.

kyeshinka October 8, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Anyone else have to fight the urge to strap Chuck Todd down and shave off that goatee of his?

SmutBoffin October 8, 2012 at 5:06 pm

Yes, if by "Chuck Todd" you mean "everybody with a goatee".

starfanglednut October 8, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Ugh. My old boss has one of those soul patch things. Hairstyle of choice for douches. (Any wonketeers with goatees excepted, of course)

Ayn Rand Paul Tard October 8, 2012 at 5:27 pm

I wouldn't strap on Chuck Todd and fuck Bea Arthur with him.

Too soon?

rocktonsam October 8, 2012 at 5:49 pm

thats a goatee? i thought that was starbucks all over his mush

jannut October 8, 2012 at 5:58 pm

I'm surprised Mitt hasn't done it already.

Designer_Rants October 8, 2012 at 7:26 pm

There goes his chin.

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2012 at 7:29 pm

If he thinks he's hiding it, he's only decorating it. It's like someone with really weird ears pulling their hair in a bun and putting on chandelier earrings.

Designer_Rants October 8, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Hey! You're bursting the Male Combover Fantasy bubble!

BaldarTFlagass October 8, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Goatee is the facial analog of the mullet.

Simple J Malarkey October 8, 2012 at 8:30 pm

I had a goatee for a couple years around Y2K. You have to trim it like a regular beard, but you still have to shave. WTF is the point?? I got rid of it when I quit drinking.

My brother-in-law has had one for 40 years. He's an artist and it makes him look like Satan, so it's cool.

trampndirtdown October 8, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Rick Warren wears one. Nuff said.

Negropolis October 8, 2012 at 9:52 pm

Mitt Romney libel!

Blueb4sinrise October 8, 2012 at 5:06 pm

I'll be in the garage with the motor running.

wbbl.

edit: damn electric cars.

glasspusher October 8, 2012 at 10:51 pm

Even the I C engines these days have such good emissions controls, the carbon dioxide will become too acrid for you to stand before the carbon monoxide can kill you. You'll have to damn the EPA as well…

tracyhasfun October 8, 2012 at 5:08 pm

As soon as my mail-in ballot arrives ( I live in WA) and I vote blue blue blue plus marriage equality I am going to put an automatic $3 a week (outta work, see) to the DCCC and HIDE. I can't take the fucking hateful Repubs and my liver needs a break.

Caelan Aegana October 8, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Thank Cheezosaurus Rex that National Novel Writing Month interferes with election coverage. I will be so out of my mind from sleep deprivation and caffeine by the 6th that it will not matter, and that's a win for me.

I live in Eastern WA, so I extra need the distraction from the Wingnut version of Burning Man that always happens close to the holidays.

anniegetyerfun October 8, 2012 at 6:10 pm

OMG, I am so sorry. I'm originally from the middle of WA, and yeah, the locals are violently conservative.

tracyhasfun October 9, 2012 at 12:26 pm

EW! Teh desert! I hold my nose when I drive thru…and rarely stop.

Caelan Aegana October 9, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Know of any good engineering jobs over on the wet side? I would love to come back. :-/

trampndirtdown October 8, 2012 at 11:51 pm

Just across the border from you in Idaho, and damn you guys and your Cathy McMorris Rogers commercials. Also Too early voted.

tracyhasfun October 9, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Spokompton all the way…I would LOVE to ditch MMR. She is just a brainless shill and I can't stomach her. The rural areas (and I am from one) around here LERVE her cuz she is "one of them." Which no. Simple-minded people.

Caelan Aegana October 9, 2012 at 1:06 pm

I'm further south in the Tri-Cities. We have Doc Hastings. Literally one of the most corrupt congressmen in history, and he won't go away.

tracyhasfun October 9, 2012 at 4:27 pm

He's a cockroach. I think it's Hanford…so maybe he's more like a zombie.

I feel ya, my sister lived down there for years and I couldn't stand it.

I was born wet side, now on eat side (lol) and am an out of work teacher. Gimme strength, and a Dem majority and maybe we can get OUT OF THIS HOLE. I keep seeing light (my BF got a good job) but i needs me some krilla.

emmelemm October 8, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Bless you, fellow Washingtonians.

tracyhasfun October 9, 2012 at 12:58 pm

And bless you. As I listen to the coverage…I am so glad I'm not in Idaho.

Bezoar October 8, 2012 at 5:08 pm

I so need to see that Mormon dickwad get his ass kicked. With debate zingers, of course.

savethispatient October 8, 2012 at 5:10 pm

It's all part of Obama's "lets ensure there's no liberal complacency on election day" plan, right?

emmelemm October 8, 2012 at 5:44 pm

It's eleventy-million level chess.

ETA: Shit, UnholyMoses beat me to it. Teach me to read top to bottom.

DemmeFatale October 8, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Yep. It's part of the plan.
Look, I know it's a strategy, but I have made donations and ordered merchandise from his site in the past couple of days.
I have even ordered a yard sign! (I know they don't change any minds, but they do show an organized campaign.)
I think the Dems, (up and down the ticket), will win easily.

SayItWithWookies October 8, 2012 at 5:13 pm

I'm not worried — knowing Mitt, he's probably just denounced Pew as a pack of liars in cheap suits.

widestanceromance October 8, 2012 at 5:15 pm

I hear the pretty, pretty shiny razor call my name. . .must resist, must resist. . .hold out a little longer. . .

UnholyMoses October 8, 2012 at 5:15 pm

This is just Obama's 11 Dimensional Chess Game of Victory: Lull the GOP to sleep, then **BAM!** ACORN manages to steal the election. And if you think ACORN no longer exists, well … that's all part of the game.

WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!

Schmannnity October 8, 2012 at 5:16 pm

On a brighter note, whoever is elected is totally fucked, and not in a good way.

YasserArraFeck October 8, 2012 at 5:27 pm

I'm sure, back in '92, when Bill heard he'd won, he thought "Ah'm gonna get so totally fucked….in a very good way"

BaldarTFlagass October 8, 2012 at 7:57 pm

To paraphrase Rodney at the end of Caddyshack, "Hey everybody, I'm gonna get laid!"

OneDollarJuana October 8, 2012 at 8:41 pm

I imagine that Obama is f**ked no matter what (in that way), while it's hard to image that robot getting f**ked (in that way), now that the procreation requirement has been met by the Queen.

UnholyMoses October 8, 2012 at 5:16 pm

After-debate polls are always correct, as are exit polls. Trust me — I should know!

Sincerely,

John Kerry, 2004

PeaceWithHonor October 8, 2012 at 5:20 pm

This is all good news. A competitive presidential race keeps GOP SuperPAC money out of the Senate and House races. Let them spend millions on a mirage.

starfanglednut October 8, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Excellent point.

Schmannnity October 8, 2012 at 5:20 pm

What are the numbers from the Pepe La Pew poll?

Caelan Aegana October 8, 2012 at 5:42 pm

0.

tessiee October 8, 2012 at 11:18 pm

Do not rrrun from me, mah pea-geon.

CommieLibunatic October 8, 2012 at 5:21 pm

I hate to go all Warcraft nerd on everyone, but I see this election stuff kind of like raiding. Even if you've polished your skill and forged the best gear, it doesn't mean anything if the rest of your party stands in fire.

PsycWench October 8, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Remember also: you don't have to get people to vote for your candidate for him or her to win. You can win by getting the other people dispirited so that they don't show up to the polls.
Don't let them win with that second maneuver.

DemmeFatale October 8, 2012 at 9:01 pm

I think this is the calm before the (Obama) storm.

Native_of_SL_UT October 8, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Todd Akins = Leroy Jenkins, amirite?

Joshua Norton October 8, 2012 at 5:22 pm

when you wake up and find another poll that puts Obama up five

And then there will be the slew of wingnut pundits that will tell us it's all a lie created by pollsters who are not taking into consideration the thousands of imaginary republicans who support Rmoney.

Crank_Tango October 8, 2012 at 5:22 pm

Sure Barry sucks ass, but remember the Supreme Court. That's all I ever have to say on this one.

chascates October 8, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Wasn't it just last week that the pundits were saying the polls were skewed?

weejee October 8, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Instead of skewing the polls, wouldn't it be more fun to skewer the pundits?

GeorgiaBurning October 8, 2012 at 6:10 pm

2nd century remedies?

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2012 at 7:32 pm

Yes, they dropped that pretty damn quick, didn't they.

smitallica October 8, 2012 at 5:26 pm

And yet, quietly, Obama's back up by 5 in Gallup, 3.7 in RAND, and tied in Rasmussen (which means he's actually up by 4). I'm sure Fox News will mention that this Pew poll is an outlier to clear up the confusion, and not already start declaring Romney the POTUS.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 8, 2012 at 9:24 pm

Was the Pew poll, by any chance, based on data collected before the new unemployment numbers came out? Because even the brain-dead undecideds should be able to look at a chart and see what Bush did, and what Obama's done, for jobs.

Joshua Norton October 8, 2012 at 5:26 pm

I predict Romney will be in the top 2.

Schmannnity October 8, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Where can I bet place and show?

pinkocommi October 8, 2012 at 5:28 pm

This is all Obama's fault. Well, except for the racists. And the idiotic Ayn-Rand-worshipping libertarians. And the 1%-ers who run corporations taking full advantage of Citizens United by buying the election through limitless and untraceable donations. And the moronic, oversized-amygdala, I-got-mine-screw-the-rest-of-you Republicans. And the homophobic, mysogynistic, science-denying, bible thumpers. Except for all of them, it is all Obama's fault.

weejee October 8, 2012 at 5:42 pm

Biden needs to shove Ayn Rand up Ryan's bung at least a dozen times during their debate, or until Ryan the asshat shrugs.

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2012 at 7:34 pm

Have you ever noticed that when he pouts his mouth turns in a complete upside-down U? I wanna see that a lot during the debate.

Simple J Malarkey October 8, 2012 at 7:38 pm

You mean like my avatar?

Yes. Yes, I have. :D

BaldarTFlagass October 8, 2012 at 8:00 pm

It's like the political version of Peyton-face.

Generation[redacted] October 8, 2012 at 7:44 pm

Really? I didn't notice anything…

jannut October 8, 2012 at 6:02 pm

Don't forget the disrespectful children. I blame them the most.

Mittens Howell, III October 8, 2012 at 5:28 pm

If Romney wins do we get free butler gloves?

sullivanst October 8, 2012 at 5:32 pm

No, that will be an unfunded mandate.

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 8, 2012 at 5:37 pm

You'll have to buy them from the company store with chit.

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2012 at 7:35 pm

On the plus side, you won't have to buy a rape kit because rape will be legitimate.

tessiee October 8, 2012 at 11:19 pm

And it's for sure we'll all be paid in chit.

LibrarianX October 8, 2012 at 6:34 pm

Latex

Negropolis October 8, 2012 at 9:55 pm

You will get nothing and like it. And, the beatings will continue until morale improves.

Mittens Howell, III October 8, 2012 at 5:31 pm

I told Jack Welch to sniff those numbers like a dog's ass and get back to me.

Nothingisamiss October 8, 2012 at 5:31 pm

I'm still a crybaby. I don't have xanax on hand because I thought this would be a blowout.

WHERE'S MY UNICORN??!!!!!

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2012 at 7:36 pm

I'm so stressed I can barely get out of bed in the morning. I'm afraid I'll hear something that will make me more afraid.

Mittens Howell, III October 8, 2012 at 5:36 pm

Obama should use the Mitt Romney defence when dealing with these poll results:

"Those aren't the numbers, the real numbers are:

12-peanutbuttercrunch-30-here goes your grandma-167.4-whoah you look bamboozled-here's a pie!-447 to the power of 9!

See, I'm Winning."

Tundra Grifter October 8, 2012 at 5:37 pm

In mid-September, Mr. Obama had a post-convention bounce on Pew – 8% up. (r)Money got no VPee selection or post-convention bounce. He was due for something.

This latest Pew poll has a margin of error of almost 4%. So, a 4% "lead" is statistically meaningless – it's that blur in the middle your instruments can not detect.

All along we knew this was close and it still is. And it's all about the Electoral College. Personally, I am beginning to think North Carolina is the joker in the deck. Changing demographics and points of view. Young, cell phone only voters who can't be reached by robo-calling pollsters.

Mr. Obama still needs Florida, Ohio plus two other states or Virginia plus two other states.

(r)Money still needs to run the table.

And we know the Democrats will have an extraordinary get-out-the-vote campaign. Heck, some people voted before the first debate aired.

Simple J Malarkey October 8, 2012 at 6:32 pm

My gut is that Obama will run the table. I wouldn't be surprised to see him take Ohio, Florida, Colorado and Virginia, plus North Carolina. And (watch this!) Tennessee, Indiana, Missouri and Arizona!

Nothingisamiss October 8, 2012 at 6:57 pm

What are you on? (Can I please have some?)

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2012 at 7:39 pm

Hey, I live in Arizona and I cheerfully offer to send you a case of good Mexican beer if you make that happen.

Simple J Malarkey October 8, 2012 at 8:02 pm

Actually, Grrl, I got the feeling about Arizona because of what you said awhile back about the voter registration and GOTV organizing among Latinos to dump Bull Connor Joe Arpaio. I have a hunch your average cholo who votes against Arpaio isn't going to hang a chad for Mitt. :)

So if O takes AZ I'll owe you a case of beer!

The other states — meh, I'm just counting on demographic tipping points, and Mitt to keep on stepping on his dick most of the time he talks. One debate bounce doesn't change the game. I hope.

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2012 at 8:11 pm

I absolutely believe both AZ and Tejas will go blue in my lifetime.But I'm not betting on this year.I'll take it with supreme (as in court) joy if it happens, though.

Pap Finn October 8, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Tell us about the rabbits, Nate Silver…

Then again, Kerry, 2004, debate bump, etc.

Also, too, the know-nothing Brownshirt droolers have lost the popular vote in 4 out of the last 5 national elections. They went pawing through the reject bin for months (Cain, Bachmann, Perry, Santorum) before reluctantly settling on Mittens. These are not signs of strength.

And does anyone really think that Soft Barry will show up at the next two debates?

Chins up, Libtards!

glasspusher October 8, 2012 at 11:02 pm

This. Thank you.

Designer_Rants October 8, 2012 at 11:48 pm

Yes SIR!

ElPinche October 8, 2012 at 5:59 pm

God damn swing voters and undecideds.

donnadiva October 8, 2012 at 6:30 pm

No one's undecided. People are acting undecided because they are drama queens who want attention and free pizza at the focus group.

Esteev October 9, 2012 at 10:05 am

Did you say pizza?

Gleem McShineys October 8, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Fuck them and their fucking juiceboxes.

emmelemm October 9, 2012 at 2:14 am

I know, right?

DemmeFatale October 8, 2012 at 9:11 pm

There aren't enough upfists for you guys.
Fuck and damn the "undecided" drama queens (idiots)!

ElPinche October 9, 2012 at 1:53 am

Here's my best impression of a swing voter (using Brian Regan's moronic guy voice): "OBAMMA LOST THE DEEBATE SO ME GONNA SIDE WITH MR ROMENY….OH WAIT, JOBS RATE IS UP SAYS BEERDED NEWS MAN ON TV, I LIKE OBAMA NOW , ME VOTE FOR OBAMA. ….WAIT, HOT BABE ON FOX SAYS OBAMA MIGHT BE STEELING FROM FRAUDS FOR DONATIONS TO FOURRENERS. I VOTE FOR ROMENY. WAIT…SOMEONE KILL ME . MAKE IT STOP. "

ingloriousbytch October 9, 2012 at 9:22 am

Don't forget the hysterical Obama supporters who publicly lose their collective shit in the effort to prove that we're willing to call out our own. (Dear Andrew Sullivan: Calm. The Fuck. Down.)

rickmaci October 8, 2012 at 6:08 pm

"Men ought either to be indulged or utterly destroyed, for if you merely offend them they take vengeance, but if you injure them greatly they are unable to retaliate, so that the injury done to a man ought to be such that vengeance cannot be feared."
Niccolo Machiavelli

The week before the debate, Romoney was nearly dead. BHO didn't finish the job. Now Romoney is back with strength. The election can still be won but not without far greater effort than should have been necessary.

Tundra Grifter October 8, 2012 at 7:25 pm

When Alexander the Great had an enemy army in retreat he moved in and finished them off. Looks to me like our man got a wee bit too over-confident.

When Reggie Jackson left Oakland for the major leagues he took a childhood friend with him. Not be be his posse or crew. But to every so often say "I knew you when you were just Reggie Jackson in Oakland you still ain't shit."

It was folly to lighten up at this stage. Mr. Obama should have finished him off.

Esteev October 9, 2012 at 10:13 am

What really gets me mad is the fact that puppets like Peggington Nooninton wax poetic about the debate being a "historic" transition in this election. Bullshit. Which, incidentally, is all Romney said during the debate.

Sure, he looked like he believed what he was saying — and even said it with conviction — but that's what all good liars do. The man bullshitted his way around every single issue. I mean, sure, Obama should have said, "STFU you stupid liar head" but, why aren't the media talking heads saying that? I assume because centrism.

snowpointsecret October 8, 2012 at 6:11 pm

You mean the end of the world for the candidate still winning Ohio? And in a horse race in Virginia and Colorado? And ahead in Iowa, Wisconsin, and Nevada? Is there an alternate Romney universe I don't know about yet?

mustangsavvy October 8, 2012 at 6:12 pm

This is not what I was told in the brochure.

Ducksworthy October 8, 2012 at 6:17 pm

Nobody ever lost an election by underestimating the intelligence of the American electorate.

Biel_ze_Bubba October 8, 2012 at 9:29 pm

John McCain might disagree.

owhatever October 8, 2012 at 6:25 pm

Yes, grandchild, the government once gave money each month to poor and old people like me. It was called Social Security. And health care was provided, too. I admit that I was a moocher, and have grown fond of the Alpo chunks. I deserve no less, but America is stronger now as my generation of takers die off at a rapid rate. What? You're still poor? No, you can't have my Alpo, you little fuck.

Radiotherapy October 8, 2012 at 6:40 pm

Get Off My Lawn!

finallyhappy October 8, 2012 at 6:50 pm

Alpo? You think you will be getting name brand? You must have big bucks stashed away.

Tundra Grifter October 8, 2012 at 7:27 pm

Between colleges I worked as a cashier in a large Chicago-area supermarket. Food stamps could only be used to purchase food to eat.

When seniors purchased cans of cat good I just rang 'em up, because I never wanted to hear "I don't have a cat. That's for me."

DemmeFatale October 8, 2012 at 9:15 pm

I think I'm going to cry.
(no snark)

tessiee October 8, 2012 at 11:24 pm

One of the cashiers at the market where I used to shop caught an elderly customer shoplifting canned goods. He chastised him as politely as possible, whereupon the old gent rounded on him and said something like, "You think I WANT to steal? You think I ever, in a million years, thought I'd be doing this, after the way I worked my whole life?". The cashier told the customer that he would try to look the other way if he could, and to try not to get caught again, because then they'd HAVE to do something.

LibertyLover October 8, 2012 at 7:47 pm

Find your own damn underpass to live under sweetie. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Callyson October 8, 2012 at 8:12 pm

What, you haven't killed the kid? Charlie Fuqua thinks you're a wimp…

gullywompr October 8, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Help us, Nate Silver, you are our only hope!

LibertyLover October 8, 2012 at 7:48 pm

Use the force, Luke!

Callyson October 8, 2012 at 8:13 pm

Done

So the Pew poll really is a huge data point for Romney. But his polling today was pretty mediocre without it.

https://twitter.com/fivethirtyeight/status/255448

(If I didn't already have a twitter account, I would sign up for one just to hear from Nate…)

natl_[redacted]_cmdr October 8, 2012 at 6:31 pm

"Do we pick things up and work hard to get Barack Obama elected [or] despair and complain on the internet[?]"

Can't we do both?

DahBoner October 8, 2012 at 6:31 pm

"… until Obamacare puts all capitalism out of business"

I didn't come here. And I ain't leaving….

LibrarianX October 8, 2012 at 6:32 pm

Knife fight. Obviously.

coolhandnuke October 8, 2012 at 6:50 pm

It's been 22 years since I've vomited (I used to be quite the able and frequent puker in high school and college but something changed–I learned how to drink) But should a certain Tuesday in early November turn beyond shitty, I will spew the crustiest vomit ever spewed along with 47% of my pancreas and liver.

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2012 at 7:41 pm

I gave you a p, but I never want to hear a thing like that again, young man.

coolhandnuke October 8, 2012 at 8:17 pm

You're right, what was I thinking. I'm going to need those vital organs if i want to be elected Pope. I'll just cough out my appendix and thesaurus.

Tommmcatt_Again October 8, 2012 at 8:41 pm

I think the pope only needs the one organ.

tessiee October 8, 2012 at 11:28 pm

Could you please make sure that at least some of the splashback lands on Romney and Ryan?
thanks ever so.

BlueStateLibel October 8, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Not worried, my guy threw a clunker, so what. There are two more debates, Romney has shown he has no aptitude for foreign policy, he can't just throw numbers around, and this is an area that plays to Obama's strength at appearing measured and calm. He just needs to keep repeating that he's kept the country safe and three words, "Osama bin Laden." The other debate is a town-hall debate. Romney has shown he's very poor at interacting with the common folk, look for him to act weird and strange at least once or twice, or get caught barely hiding his disdain for the common folk. Obama comes off as warm and genuine with the regular people. Obama has plenty of upside, Romney doesn't.

DemmeFatale October 8, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Talk about warm and genuine.
JOE!!!!!

decentcitizen October 8, 2012 at 6:59 pm

I never underestimate the Democratic Party's talent for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory but this is a head feint. Romney won't quit talking (lying) until that fateful day in November and that's all the advantage the Democratic Party needs.

LibertyLover October 8, 2012 at 7:50 pm

Excellent point, and now Mittens is just the wee-ist bit self confident and that will allow him to shoot himself in the foot as if it were a varmint that he was a-huntin'

ttommyunger October 9, 2012 at 7:55 am

I agree.

bibliotequetress October 8, 2012 at 7:04 pm

Well, boogers, back to donating money and working the phone banks. As a lifelong Red Sox fan, I never expect anyone I root for to come out on top, at least not easily and without personally making me suffer a great deal in the process. And drink, making me drink too. So, yawn. Let's all remember to threaten our lefty friends who cop out on the "it doesn't matter who wins" excuse and get their lazy asses to the polls.

TootsStansbury October 8, 2012 at 7:21 pm

Mittens talks a lot but he never says anything. I am watching PBS of all things and they're falling all over him. Horrible. Is the librul meedia conspiring to make these assholes win so they have nice, juicy stories of civil unrest to cover?

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2012 at 7:43 pm

They think if they help him win it will save them?? What traitors.

BaldarTFlagass October 8, 2012 at 8:05 pm

It's as if Jewish people were rooting for you-know-who in the 1933 German elections. It will not end well for them…

TootsStansbury October 8, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Gah you scare me.

DemmeFatale October 8, 2012 at 9:29 pm

The most nauseating aspect of NPR these days is the false equivalencies and boot licking that occurs when they grovel at the feet of these terminators.
David Brooks and his faux "aw shucks, guys" routine, is all I can stand from PBS.
They are both feeding the hand that will bite them.

AlterNewt October 8, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Now I don't want to get overly philosophical here, but can we kill the undecided voters with votes?

fuflans October 8, 2012 at 7:24 pm

the fuck is wrong with this country? romney hasn't had a good day since he lost his $10,000 bet, started a war with britain and told half his fellow citizens to fuck off.

now he's ahead because barry was tired?!?!?

if every country gets the government it deserves, i want to know what i did to earn my fellow citizens.

Isyaignert October 8, 2012 at 7:25 pm

We're all Big Bird now.

ifthethunderdontgetya October 8, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Yeah, well, 4 more years of President Blue Dog means we'll get a President Santorum or Bachmann in 2016, so I'm not sweating the Pew Pew Pew*.

This country was fucked long ago, when Bill Clinton turned the Democratic party into GOP Lite, and a small bunch of rich assholes bought or inherited the media.

* This is what's going to happen. Nate Silver still has huge odds of Obama winning, and I think he's right.
~

Negropolis October 8, 2012 at 10:09 pm

Romney 2012

LibertyLover October 8, 2012 at 7:46 pm

My cat has better polls than Pew.

ElPinche October 8, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Aww shit! Mittens just told the children of America (Nickelodeon) to fuck themselves…otherwise known as the kid-influenced-swing-voter-parent market.

Monsieur_Grumpe October 8, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Next debate Hopey must punch Mittens in the mouth and stomp on his balls then look directly into the camera and say…. "One for the Gipper."

SayItWithWookies October 8, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Hey y'all — Tim Kaine and George Allen are debating right now if you're interested — it's being livestreamed here.
ETA — will conclude at 9pm EST.

DemonicRage October 8, 2012 at 8:23 pm

You know who else also won elections in his country, primarily because he turned people on with the very impassioned speeches he made!

Simple J Malarkey October 8, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Abraham Lincoln?

ifthethunderdontgetya October 8, 2012 at 9:53 pm

Spongebob Squarepants!!!!
~

Negropolis October 8, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Winston Churchill?

BaldarTFlagass October 9, 2012 at 7:48 am

Robert Mugabe?

BarackMyWorld October 8, 2012 at 8:29 pm

Mitt wins, I'm getting a t-shirt with a picture of Mitt and Dubya together that says "Still haven't learned yet, have we?" and one with just Mitt that says "This is why we can't have nice things."

Serfville October 8, 2012 at 8:35 pm

I haven't seen yet but what I want to see is the swing state updated polls, Ohio, Iowa, Colorado, Florida etc…. This is the whole deal in the end, the electoral college just like 2000, Mittens could win the pop vote and lose in the electoral college. Although, 2000 is a BAD EXAMPLE! The problem with the Rethugs is…give them a close election and they will steal steal steal.

poorgradstudent October 8, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Seriously America, if you elect the creepy asshole whose part of the enclave that is undeniably, objectively responsible for wrecking the world economy for their own short-term profit, we're gonna have some words.

Simple J Malarkey October 8, 2012 at 11:56 pm

"we're gonna have some words"

That's some tough talk there, PGS.

Did you write Mittens' VMI speech?

poorgradstudent October 9, 2012 at 1:48 am

I applied for the gig but it turned out staying a grad student pays better.

Simple J Malarkey October 9, 2012 at 2:03 am

Better future prospects, too. And I say that even though, for all I know, you're getting a master's in art history. Which would, come to think of it, make you a better qualified defense advisor than the ones Romney has.

poorgradstudent October 9, 2012 at 3:30 am

It's a PhD in History, which honestly is not that much better, unless I somehow turn my dissertation into the next big pop history book.

But you got me thinking. Maybe I *could* pitch to Romney a strategy based on the Civilization series and that will sound brilliant to him. "Okay, Mitt, once you become President all you gotta do is have the army capture all the cities in Syria. And we'll have to make sure all the infantry units and tanks get a defense boost from staying in mountainous terrain."

Negropolis October 8, 2012 at 9:36 pm

It's time to bury Mitt Romeny…with votes, but definitely once and for all with October Surprise after October Surprise.

Negropolis October 8, 2012 at 9:38 pm

BTW, someone call me when Romney starts being Obama to 270 in the Electoral College polls, okay? As it stands, Obama is still upwards of 300 EC votes. Again, Romney would have to win every swing state save two to even come out in a winning scenario.

finallyhappy October 8, 2012 at 9:49 pm

THANK YOU! Rational thinking has been missing from here recently

Negropolis October 8, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Don't get me wrong, a narrative can set in in the last month of a presidential campaign that swings the election, but as it stands, nothing has fundamentally changed about this particular race on substance.

The ONLY thing Mitt Romney did during the debate was to finally make himself look a bit presidential, which gives some indies a choice they weren't expecting to have. Other than that, Mitt's the same lying asshole he was before the debate, and if he thinks Obama's going to let him run away from his previous positions at the next debate, he's done.

mosjef October 8, 2012 at 10:24 pm

This just in: Romney has offered to build a new football stadium at the Electoral College.

pdiddycornchips October 8, 2012 at 10:50 pm

A nation as vapid, shallow and ignorant as ours deserves a president that reflects our collective stupidity.

ttommyunger October 9, 2012 at 7:57 am

Been there, done that, got the recession.

BTWBFDIMHO October 9, 2012 at 12:31 am

And tomorrow another poll will show Obama ahead by 5 points or whareva. Remember el old saying: statistics are like a bikini, 'cause what they show is interesting but what they hide is essential.

BTWBFDIMHO October 9, 2012 at 1:21 am

What do you expect? Undecided bet BHO&JB and Richer&Rich haz 2 b ztupid.

ttommyunger October 9, 2012 at 7:57 am

I, for one, welcome our new Pollster Overlords.

Esteev October 9, 2012 at 10:05 am

I knew as soon as they let Mitt be Mitt things would turn around for him.

jolpaj October 9, 2012 at 11:25 am

No, this is actually very bad news. Pew is a great pollster. Here' s the thing: we're still even on RV. Non-voting and barriers to voting skew the country 7 points to the right. We just have to turn RV's into LV's. Turnout and turnout and turnout and turnout and turnout and turnout and turnout and turnout and turnout and turnout and turnout and turnout and turnout and turnout and turnout and turnout and turnout.

Tundra Grifter October 9, 2012 at 11:34 am

"What are you doing?"

"I'm listening to the Voice of Reason."
http://news.yahoo.com/popularity-high-romney-ditt

Nobody said this was going to be easy. Almost everyone said it was going to be close. Stop whimpering like that soldier in "Patton" and get out there and FIGHT!

Andrew Sullivan picked a hell of a time to pull a Duh Gov' and try to make this all about him.

pinupgirl123 October 9, 2012 at 12:13 pm

He is just jealous of Big Bird's big pecker!

Designer_Rants October 8, 2012 at 7:13 pm

Are you native American? Just picking up on the "Acorn, Black Panther" thing. Those were the first things you saw when you left the teepee, I assume. And also an improbable gathering of un-closeted leftists.

Jukesgrrl October 8, 2012 at 7:20 pm

Can we haz a birth announcement? We're excitable types with a need to know. No need to put "death to America" at the end — that's a given.

anniegetyerfun October 8, 2012 at 7:25 pm

I will definitely pop in to say something once all is said and done and I've eaten a bucket of sushi to compensate for 9 months without raw fish and booze.

Angry_Marmot October 8, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Tell that to Saul's cousin, Ho Chi Two-Dogs-Fucking.

starfanglednut October 8, 2012 at 8:05 pm

That would be teh awesome. And congrats, Annie!

Simple J Malarkey October 8, 2012 at 8:08 pm

Yeah — a cranky 4-year-old.

Simple J Malarkey October 8, 2012 at 8:39 pm

That would be an awesome preschool science project!

(If they wait till high school it may be too late…)

sullivanst October 9, 2012 at 1:34 am

In the case of the current crop of Brits fucking that nation up even more, I'd certainly be forced to agree with you. If they thought there was any way they could get away with it without literally being mobbed, Cameron and Osborne would sell off the NHS in a heartbeat, and their own grandmothers with it. Sadly Tony Bliar gave a patina of respectability to policies undermining the service gradually by backdoor privatization, one of the two main reasons I'll hate him until he's dead, and hopefully long thereafter.

Negropolis October 9, 2012 at 6:30 am

Tony Blair completely lost any little respect I had left for him when he became an enabler to Dubya's warmongering, and to this day he's not self-reflective about it. He took Clinton's "Third Way" to its horrible conclusion by totally outsourcing his nation's foreign policy to Dubya's administration after 9/11. I'll never forgive him for that, and the Brits should hate his fucking guts for that. It's why to this day I respect the Germans and Spanish for their refusal to follow us into the grave we find outselves in Iraq and Afghanistan. It's going to take us decades to recover from that, morally and psychologically.

But, back on Harper, I hate that he's trying to make Canada Texas North in terms of the economy, but of course with more progressive and mainstream social policies.

sullivanst October 9, 2012 at 8:54 am

Trust me, the majority of Brits do hate Bliar for bowing before Bush. That shit about not being able to try to talk Bush out of a bad war in case it affected British influence over foreign policy at some time in the future? Girl, please.

Plus, while he's enough of a lawyer not to actually make an unambiguous public admission of the war crime that is a war of aggression, the sum of his public statements make it crystal clear that his motivation for going into Iraq was to overthrow Saddam, that he thought that would be a humanitarian thing to do, despite this being impermissible under international law.

Yeah, so Harper, because he's in Canada, has a nice single payer health system (it'd be a shame if anything happened to it) that he's not charging head-on to dismantle. He's also passed new food safety rules, required oil companies to reduce emissions per barrel (albeit while also abandoning the Kyoto agreement), provided new funding for homelessness reduction, apologized for his nation's blatant discrimination against Chinese-Canadians a hundred years ago, and spent billions on stimulus and jobs bills.

Yes, if he was in Texas, he'd probably be screaming blue bloody murder against the kind of commie nazi soshulist who'd do any of those things, but he's not, he's in Canada, doing those things. Asshole by Canadian standards, angel in comparison to the GOP.

Simple J Malarkey October 9, 2012 at 9:25 am

That should work about as well as the Crusades.

HistoriCat October 9, 2012 at 1:03 pm

I would run naked through the streets if Obama takes Texas. But let's just say I'm not planning on having to put that to the test.

Jukesgrrl October 9, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Send pictures!

Simple J Malarkey October 9, 2012 at 11:08 pm

I'll skip through the streets naked hand in hand with you if Obama takes Texas. Grrl can liveblog it on Wonkette.

HistoriCat October 9, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Believe me – no one wants to see that.

Jukesgrrl October 10, 2012 at 8:26 pm

Yeah … they're smart kids.Tell 'em to get busy.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: