there's a monster at the end of this book also too

Heroic Truth-Teller Mark Steyn: Big Bird Killed Our Ambassador In Libya

Here is where it will all lead: to Palestinian Sesame StreetHere, let the National Review’s Mark Steyn tell you what’s wrong with Sesame Street. Basically: everything. It is why we are falling apart as a country. Babying children with images of friendly monsters leads to the widespread perception that the world outside your own home isn’t scary, and before you know it, it gets harder and harder to demonize gays and cling to xenophobic fantasies about the Other. The end result of all this open mindedness is that your ambassador gets killed by an al-Qaeda militant cell just outside Bengazi. So don’t blame Obama for that; blame Sesame Street! (no, rly, he is actually saying this.)

It takes a certain panache to clobber not just your opponent but also the moderator. Yet that’s what the killer Mormon did when he declared that he wasn’t going to borrow money from China to pay for Jim Lehrer and Big Bird on PBS. It was a terrific alpha-male moment, not just in that it rattled Lehrer, who seemed too preoccupied contemplating a future reading the hog prices on the WZZZ Farm Report to regain his grip on the usual absurd format, but in the sense that it indicated a man entirely at ease with himself — in contrast to wossname, the listless sourpuss staring at his shoes.

Take note, gentlemen: there’s nothing more alpha-male than denigrating children’s programming and disrespecting a 78-year-old man in service of a series of lies a shift to the center.

Unlike Mitt, I loathe Sesame Street. It bears primary responsibility for what the Canadian blogger Binky calls the de-monsterization of childhood — the idea that there are no evil monsters out there at the edges of the map, just shaggy creatures who look a little funny and can sometimes be a bit grouchy about it because people prejudge them until they learn to celebrate diversity and help Cranky the Friendly Monster go recycling. That is not unrelated to the infantilization of our society. Marinate three generations of Americans in that pabulum and it’s no surprise you wind up with unprotected diplomats dragged to their deaths from their “safe house” in Benghazi. Or as J. Scott Gration, the president’s special envoy to Sudan, said in 2009, in the most explicit Sesamization of American foreign policy: “We’ve got to think about giving out cookies. Kids, countries — they react to gold stars, smiley faces, handshakes . . . ” The butchers of Darfur aren’t blood-drenched machete-wielding genocidal killers but just Cookie Monsters whom we haven’t given enough cookies. I’m not saying there’s a direct line between Bert & Ernie and Barack & Hillary . . . well, actually I am.

Yeah, fuck those kids in Darfur. They don’t DESERVE to have their hearts and minds won with cookies and handshakes. And Bert and Ernie — well, you can trace a straight line from that to the death of Osama bin Laden, the drone strike that killed Anwar al-Awlaki, the no-fly zone in Libya — all of which are courtesy Barack and Hillary. Case closed.

[National Review]

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About the author

Kris E. Benson writes about politics for Wonkette and is pursuing a doctorate in philosophy. This will come in handy for when they finally open that philosophy factory in the next town over. @Kris_E_Benson

View all articles by Kris E. Benson

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171 comments

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Instead of raining ping pong balls, it should have been napalm. That would have better prepared children for their future role in the world.

    2. Doktor Zoom

      Sarah Palin would have had Mr. Moose in her gunsights.

      No, not surveyor's marks. No mercy for large ungulates.

  1. BaldarTFlagass

    I'd like to hear him say all that in Ubby-Dubby language. Oh wait, that was a different program.

    1. Doktor Zoom

      What was the name of that program again? It's just on the tip of my tongue…Totally drawing a blank here…Oh, man, I'm going to remember it at like 4 AM…

    1. johnnyzhivago

      One of my original cats Hicks used to get "intimate" with the kid's Tickle Me Elmo, which of course would vibrate and yell "That Tickles". It's too damn bad this was before the days of YouTube Cat Videos, because it would have gone viral.

        1. Tundra Grifter

          I could well be wrong about that. I'm still trying to get over last week's debate.

          And the complete collapse of the SF Giants.

          I picked a bad week to stop huffing paint…

  2. One_who_wanders

    Citing a Canadian blogger named Binky while complaining about sissyification of childhood? Oh rilly?

    1. AHVeritas

      Mr. Steyn neglects to mention that the "J. Scott Gration" who he dismisses is actually properly denoted as General J. Scott Gration, USAF (ret.) —

      According to Newsweek:
      Gration’s résumé is bristling with real-world military experience that earned him seven rows of ribbons during a 32-year Air Force career. As a fighter pilot, he flew 274 missions over Iraq during and after the first Persian Gulf War, occasionally encountering Iraqi ground fire, and he commanded a task force during Operation Iraqi Freedom. Gration was also in command of the unit at Khobar Towers in Saudi Arabia that lost 18 of the 19 U.S. personnel killed in a terrorist explosion in 1996. And he happened to be at the Pentagon when the plane hit on 9/11

    2. WhatTheHolyHeck

      I have a secret blogger in Canada. His name is…Binky! Yeah, Binky. You don't know him. He doesn't go to this school.

  3. hagajim

    Xenophobic fantasies – I had those once, until I learned how hard it is to play the xylophone…wait, what?

  4. Katydid

    " It was a terrific alpha-male moment…"

    Why do these weanies always equate rude, obnoxious, over-the-top behavior to being an alpha male? You cannot out alpha-male the POTUS, too, also.

    1. HogeyeGrex

      Rule #1: The more someone obsesses over "alpha-maledness" the more "beta" they are. It's inherent in the function.

  5. Tundra Grifter

    Can anyone give me one good reason why I should give a flying fuck what Mark Steyn says about anything?

  6. BaldarTFlagass

    Truthfully, Tom & Jerry cartoons and Three Stooges short subjects are all the morning tv our kids need. Oh, and Bozo the Clown.

    1. BaldarTFlagass

      "In fact, I'm gonna borrow your mower and not return it, and I'm gonna go over and fuck your wife while you're at work!"

  7. Callyson

    the de-monsterization of childhood — the idea that there are no evil monsters out there at the edges of the map

    I have Tim Burton on line 1 to offer numerous counter examples…

  8. Tundra Grifter

    This "logic" reminds me of the old (back when it was really funny) SNL skit where the little kid wouldn't eat his breakfast cereal and one thing led to another and pretty soon the Red Army was in their kitchen and it was all his fault.

  9. SmutBoffin

    Yeah! And Square One taught children MATH, too!

    This is part of the 'mathification' of America. Romney and Ryan don't need no math – Barack 'Algebra' Obama does. Innumeracy is a virtue.

    Romney 2012 uh two-zero-thing-upside-down-l-fuck-it.

  10. FakaktaSouth

    Okay! Let's argue this way! I am TOTALLY SAYING that letting my kids learn cool songs like 1234567891011TWELVE! IS in fact what protects them from the machetes in Darfur, not the fact that we don't live in Darfur. Elmo also keeps them from freezing to death in the North Pole or being eaten by sharks in New Zealand. Asshole.

    1. prommie

      Yeah but, he will say, see below, that it don't matter if your kids can cipher and know their gazintas, because they will be sitting ducks for evil horrible furriners unless they are just constantly in a panicking raging state of hate and fear! If they don't hate and fear enough, they won't drop enough bombs on browns, and dropping bombs on browns is the only thing that matters!

    2. GhostBuggy

      Yes. This. It's funny he wants to berate "Sesame Street" in particular. When I was a kid, Mr. Hooper died and they did an episode about how people die. After 9/11, there was an episode about a fire, and how scary things in the world can be. Both were fantastic bits of teaching. So fuck you, Steyn, right in your ear, with votes. And I hope it's a Muppet doing the fucking.

  11. CapnFatback

    "And if you like Binky's theories on child psychology, just wait until you hear Princess Glitter's views on the economy!"

    1. Generation[redacted]

      Binky, the star of Life in Hell, has some interesting theories on child psychology.

  12. UnholyMoses

    Rightwingers just love it when their guy acts all tough and macho. In fact, that's about all they want in a candidate: some daddy figure to come and and show everyone else who's boss.

    The funny part is that, in reality, their heroes are pansy-assed, gutless cowards: Reagan made movies instead of serving, Mitt went to France, Nugent pissed and shat all over himself, Rush had a boil on his ass, etc. etc. etc.

    1. GeorgiaBurning

      Its the symbolism. They fantasize being John Wayne (another guy who didn't serve), beating the bad guys in a Hollywood war through sheer guts and determination. Current Repubs never challenge that. It's very discomforting for them to see a real person that served heroically in a real war and doesn't fit into that fantasy; such as a George McGovern (35 bombing missions), John Kerry, Tammy Duckworth or even Bob Dole.

      1. doloras

        Isn't it interesting that we've never had a president who actually served in Vietnam? It's like US Americans don't want to be reminded of that war, for some reason.

    2. Negropolis

      In fact, that's about all they want in a candidate: some daddy figure to come and and show everyone else who's boss fuck them silly.

      /fixed

  13. coolhandnuke

    My son just loves to pee on the National Review's new childrens' book "Mitt the Builder who Built Everything."
    And he's eight.

    1. Negropolis

      King David with that girl bathing on the roof, and then sent her husband to be killed in battle like a boss?

  14. CapnFatback

    "Today's Episode of Sesame Street was brought to you by the letters 'F' and 'U' and the number '99%.'"

  15. UnholyMoses

    the idea that there are no evil monsters out there at the edges of the map …

    Yes. Because the world was so a fantastic place when we taught kids that everyone Not Like Them was a monster.

    Listen, you fucking fuck. That mindset led to slavery, the Holocaust, genocide of native Americans, antisemitism, and a whole host of other disgusting and destructive actions. The fact you're pining for those days makes you one of the most disgusting human beings currently on the face of the Earth.

    I'd wish ill upon you, but I don't wanna get banned. So I'll just have to be satisfied with the thought that, some day, somewhere, at some time, karma is going to kick you in fucking teeth.

    I just hope it'll posted to YouTube so the entire world can enjoy some schaden with their freude.

    1. jannut

      and that Small World ride came directly from the 1963 NY Worlds' Fair. I'm beginning to see the conspiracy now.

      1. Biel_ze_Bubba

        The one and only thing I remember from going to the '63 World's Fair is that damned ride. It must be what made me a liberal.

  16. ProgressiveInga

    Typical wing-nut didn't get his facts straight. Every serious scholar knows that HR Puff-n-Stuff initiated the downfall of western civilization.

      1. YasserArraFeck

        The Banana Splits were the only ones keeping us safe from them damn' Sharia-spouting Arabian Knights – "Rozam Kobar" my ass!!

  17. prommie

    From what I can gather, he is concerned that children are not being taught to hate and fear? That everything will be better if only we can instill MORE hate and fear in our children? In ourselves? That what the world needs now, is hate, and fear, no not just for one, but for everyone? Self-awareness, it is not strong in such as these. Do you think he even knows thats what he is saying?

    1. FakaktaSouth

      Reading and Counting will make you useless? Cause that is the actual reason I let this show babysit mine. That and so I could do other stuff. This is absolute proof of their abject need and nonsensical ability to defend the defenseless position. They wanna win. They are winners. Can't you see that?

    2. UnholyMoses

      "Do you think he even knows thats what he is saying? "

      Yes. It's a feature, not a bug.

      After all, it's a great way to control people: Make those people think that you — or your party — and you alone can keep them safe from all those scary things out there in the world? How can you think America is the bestest ever unless you convince people every other nation is backwards/full of savages/wants to destroy us?

      It's why they used 9/11 for so long, brag about DoD spending, and want to bomb every nation with a bunch of brown people who can't answer phones or build stuff for cheap.

      It's fucking pathetic, but has been that way for as long as I can remember.

    3. finallyhappy

      Like my kids didn't have enough fear instilled into them when we had the sniper 10 years ago and today there was a suicide by cop in our neighborhood of a 22 year old- and I live in one of the "good" neighborhoods

    4. CommieLibunatic

      Sorrow isn't for the young. We all have our entire lives to discover misery in a vast number of ways. Hunger, warfare, reality television… There is no need to rush kids into that, as if they can even begin to comprehend such things.

    5. HouseOfTheBlueLights

      What he's doing is completely misundersting the concepts that Bruno Bettleheim discuesses in "The Uses of Enchantment" (Also, Bettleheim knew a thing or two about instilling fear in helpless children.) Which is what these guys do– take concepts with just enough sense in them to make you look twice, and then subvert them to their hateful agenda.

  18. HarryButtle

    Don't teach our kids that different kinds of people can get along! No good can come from it. I mean, next thing you know, different kinds of people are getting along! And we certainly don't want that.

  19. Lionel[redacted]Esq

    So, Modern Conservatism has now come to this. Applauding a guy for totally disavowing anything he said that is conservative, and relying on a guy name Binky from Canada to support your position. I'm sure William F. Buckley is proud of the levels that the NRO has reached since he died.

    1. kyeshinka

      Those feminists are supposed to be stuffing the antelope head in the den so it's ready for Monday Night Football.

  20. littlebigdaddy

    So, maybe Sesame Street could incorporate Jeff Dunham's dead terrorist into the muppets? You know, for the lulz!

  21. poorgradstudent

    It's adorable that Mark Steyn apparently believes that if he, an All-American man unsullied by such evil influences as "Sesame Street", was faced with a murderous mob he'd go all John McClane on them, when the reality is that he'd probably go all Homer Simpson: "I have a wife and kids! Take them!"

  22. GregComlish

    Fortunately for Mark Steyn there are at least a thousand competing children's television shows full of violence, jingoism, and righteousness to reinforce Mark Steyn's child-like world view

  23. kyeshinka

    Wasn't Binky the name of that creepy clown on Garfield and Friends? I wonder what Mark I'm not Jewish Because I spell My Name Wrong SteYn thinks about how Nermel spent all her time in Abu Dhabi.

  24. Nesnora

    Also:
    Stuffed Animals: The Scourge that is Homoing-up our Children's beds
    Tricycles: Hippie Attack on the Automobile Industry
    Crayons: Gateway to Liberal Arts Degrees
    Treehouses: Radical Environmental Indoctrination
    Chalk: Perversion through Urban Graffiti

    1. finallyhappy

      I do have a Prius and I am considering an adult 3 wheeler- because of my hips not because I am a Hippie- ok, I am a hippie with aging hips

  25. sullivanst

    Well, there's some insight into the kind of mind that might support Mitt Romney: complete fucking psychopath.

    1. Biel_ze_Bubba

      Pity any kids this cretin might have spawned… I wonder what he'd consider "suitable" viewing. "Dirty Harry", "Death Wish", and "Rambo", to teach real manliness?

      1. Generation[redacted]

        I'm sure he just sits his kids down in front of a bunch of Mexican drug cartel execution videos.

    2. HouseOfTheBlueLights

      We might be able to win this guy over, if each Sesame Street episode ends with the execution of a disobedient child.

  26. Generation[redacted]

    Sesame Street is wasting time teaching kids useless skills like reading, writing, sharing, and conflict resolution, when it could be teaching them urban combat tactics. Where are their core values?

  27. poorgradstudent

    Also, to be fair, conversely my favorite show when I was a kid was "Transformers", a show all about clearly marked bad guys, lasers, explosions, and cars, so I totally turned into a buff ex-military type with a manly beard who can fix just about any car problem.

    …Okay, none of that except the part about loving "Transformers" is true, but I would totally have the hots for that kind of guy.

  28. Schmannnity

    Oh for the good old days when a saw across the scalp, a hammer to the head, and a double eye gouge helped The Three Stooges teach America to be manly and strong.

  29. owhatever

    If Canadian blogger Binky says so, then it must be true. Or Binky is just high again on his socialized pain medication.

  30. Biel_ze_Bubba

    Zombie William F. Buckley wants a word with this dipshit, and with the editors at N.R. who let him spew on their pages.

  31. YasserArraFeck

    Blowhard Shitsteyn. This is the prick who sits in for Limbaugh when he's off having his knob polished by small brown boys, yes?
    Markie, why don't you shove the golden microphone up your ass and see if we'd notice that you suddenly sounded smarter?

    1. One_who_wanders

      I don't think they are aware enough to be trolls. I almost wrote smart enough but simple awareness of the effects of their behavior is all a troll really needs.

  32. AnAmericanInTO

    I assume Steyn is in talks to get that Palestine Mickey Mouse show on Disney Junior. That'll keep my kids up all night.

    "Can't sleep. Mouse will eat me."

  33. HouseOfTheBlueLights

    You have to stop quoting these guys. They are starting to make sense to me. (off to Free Republic!)

  34. DahBoner

    Babying kids with friendly monsters

    Not like a visit to a certain Scottish hamburger drive-in that features a creepy clown?

    Or how about just a trip down to a Hillbillyin Sammich joint?

  35. moar_plz

    This guy's amygdala is FUCKIN' HUGE! It would have to be for him to pen a book with the subtitle "Get Ready for Armageddon".

  36. glamourdammerung

    National Review Online? That is that site that has to keep firing their staff after folks keep finding their writers/editors turning up at harmless functions like white supremacist rallies, right?

  37. Negropolis

    He will not be satisfied until all of the residents on Sesame Street are all as mind-numbingly cynical and negative as Oscar the Grouch.

    Yeah, Sesame Street, needz moar guns and suspicion of outsiders.

  38. IndianaKevin

    To feed the corporate warmongers, it is imperative to promote the widespread perception that the world outside your own home IS scary. Now if you'll turn to Faux News, the indoctrination will continue.

Comments are closed.