FABULOUS CELEBRITIES  3:26 pm October 5, 2012

Bob Kerrey Nabs King Tut Endorsement

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Achtung! Achtung! Important Hollywood Celebrity Endorsement News! But maybe Bob Kerrey’s opponent — whom Google tells us is one state Sen. Deb Fischer? — can get Janine Turner to cut her some crazy-ass vid. [PoliticalWire]

 
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{ 83 comments }

Barbara_ October 5, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Looks like they found King Tut's penis. Whew! Now we cal all stop looking. Janine Turner had it all along.

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Well! Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

nounverb911 October 5, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Needs more wild and crazy guys.

pinkocommi October 5, 2012 at 3:31 pm

I care more about who the Northern Exposure moose would endorse than who Janine Turner would pick.

ph7 October 5, 2012 at 3:32 pm

I like Clint. I like Steve.
But old white men shouldn't endorse other old white men.
It just reminds everyone that the candidate is also old and white, and part of the past.

But then again, this is Nebraska.

Toomush_Infer October 5, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I think that's Steve's point…

OneDollarJuana October 5, 2012 at 3:41 pm

As a middle-aged white man who my friends keep reminding me is becoming an old white man, I resent your statement, Sir or Madam.

SnarkOff October 5, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Sure, he's great. But can he make balloon animals?

Fairtackle October 5, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Yeah, or play the banjo?

rickmaci October 5, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Or tell a joke

gullywompr October 5, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Subterranean Homesick Blues Libel!!!1!

deanbooth October 5, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Steve Martin can make me laugh without even trying.

finallyhappy October 5, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Also cry- Shopgirl

coolhandnuke October 5, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Navin R. Johnson: And that's the only thing I need is *this*. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray… And this paddle game. – The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need… And this remote control. – The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need… And these matches. – The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball… And this lamp. – The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and that's all *I* need. And that's *all* I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one… I need this. – The paddle game and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches for sure. Well what are you looking at? What do you think I'm some kind of a jerk or something! – And this. That's all I need.
And Bob Kerrey.

delaney_blom October 5, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Nebraskans better hope that Sen. Kerrey isn't going to Washington with special purpose

kittensdontlie October 5, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Navin, I'd love you if you were the color of a baboon's ass.

nounverb911 October 5, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Land Shark!

finallyhappy October 5, 2012 at 4:46 pm

we use that routine at our house!

emmelemm October 5, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Flowers, m'aam!

Maman October 5, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Candygram

MosesInvests October 6, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Avon Lady.

sudsmckenzie October 5, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I just buy wads of paper online now.

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 3:40 pm

I get mine faxed to me

Esteev October 5, 2012 at 3:48 pm

I use the NY Daily News.

zerosumgame0005 October 5, 2012 at 10:31 pm

tax free!!!!!

Schmannnity October 5, 2012 at 3:36 pm

As The Jerk, he endorsed Romney.

Baconzgood October 5, 2012 at 3:38 pm

I think I did it wrong. I'm pregnant now.

Esteev October 5, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Did you use up all your paperclips?

zerosumgame0005 October 5, 2012 at 10:32 pm

did you soften up the gum first?

ThankYouJeebus October 5, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Let's Get Small.

Chet Kincaid_ October 5, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Who says white cracks? Steve has looked the same age since 1980!

Limeylizzie October 5, 2012 at 3:49 pm

True. MrLL worked with him on "Roxanne" and said he was so smart, funny and nice but very quiet.

shelwood46 October 5, 2012 at 5:14 pm

OMG. What is Michael J. Pollard really like?

Limeylizzie October 5, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I will inquire.

Gorillionaire October 5, 2012 at 5:57 pm

Sweet. I almost met him at one of this bluegrass band gigs but was a bit star struck and kept my mouth shut. He seemed quiet but affable.

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I saw this on the Tweeter and laughed.

YouBetcha October 5, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Your move, Wayne and Garth.

KeepFnThatChicken October 5, 2012 at 3:39 pm

But who is Gallagher endorsing?

Allmighty_Manos October 5, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Makes sense considering no one is wilder and crazier than Bob Kerrey.

Jus_Wonderin October 5, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Steve convinced me. However I never put brads in my crumbled paper wads. I save those for my Halloween cookies.

finallyhappy October 5, 2012 at 4:50 pm

I never knew those things were called brads- I thought brads were very short thin nails that are used in putting rubber heel plates on shoes- but I am not a home craft expert

Radiotherapy October 5, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Wouldn't an empty chair as a prop been easier?

edgydrifter October 5, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Dane Cook will release an identical endorsement video in 45 minutes.

Esteev October 5, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I know, he's so funny!

actor212 October 5, 2012 at 3:57 pm

And completely original!

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 1:36 am

Poor, Kerrey. He never had a chance. lol

Baconzgood October 5, 2012 at 3:44 pm

MORE CANS!!!!!!!!!!

BloviateMe October 5, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Somewhere out there, an insanely jealous Carrot Top is sitting amidst his props, weeping like a girl, wanting Steve Martin and his much viewed wad of paper to die.

Come here a minute October 5, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Who is Johnny Carson endorsing?

sudsmckenzie October 5, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Who is black, plays basketball, and doesn't preform well at high altitudes?

Chet Kincaid_ October 5, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Karl Malone in the '97 and '98 NBA Finals?

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 1:37 am

Ron Brown?

Too soon?

StillGoinGreen October 5, 2012 at 3:47 pm

I endorse the making of a video that finds Steve Martin using Kerrey's peg to beat about the head and neck area of Janine Turner. Now THAT would be worth watching!

mrblifil October 5, 2012 at 3:47 pm

In support of Bob Kerrey? He really is a jerk.

WhatTheHeck October 5, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I can see his ad for Obama. It starts out: “I was born a poor black child…”

Esteev October 5, 2012 at 3:51 pm

But can he play the piano and sing?

Baconzgood October 5, 2012 at 3:52 pm

NEEDZ MOAR PIZZA IN A CUP!!!!!!!!!!

DonnyKerabotsos October 5, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Not bad, although he was rambling a bit.

HarryButtle October 5, 2012 at 6:54 pm

I see what you did there (because I'm old enough).

Now shut the fuck up, Donny.

1stNewtontheMoon October 5, 2012 at 3:54 pm

pretty sure Steve's paper-wadding company was shuttered by Mittens after they sold off all the paper and took on $17M in debt to give themselves bonuses for determining paper wadding is done more cheaply in china.

rickmaci October 5, 2012 at 3:58 pm

"Although bleeding profusely and suffering great pain, he displayed outstanding courage and presence of mind in immediately directing his element's fire into the heart of the enemy camp. Utilizing his radio, Lt. (jg.) Kerrey called in the second element's fire support, which caught the confused Viet Cong in a devastating crossfire. After successfully suppressing the enemy's fire, and although immobilized by his multiple wounds, he continued to maintain calm, superlative control as he ordered his team to secure and defend an extraction site. Lt. (jg.) Kerrey resolutely directed his men, despite his near unconscious state, until he was eventually evacuated by helicopter. The havoc brought to the enemy by this very successful mission cannot be over-estimated. The enemy soldiers who were captured provided critical intelligence to the allied effort. Lt. (jg.) Kerrey's courageous and inspiring leadership, valiant fighting spirit, and tenacious devotion to duty in the face of almost overwhelming opposition sustain and enhance the finest traditions of the U.S. Naval Service." From Medal of Honor Citation, Lt.(jg) Joseph Robert Kerrey

Come on Nebraska. You're not going to vote for a TeaTard over him? Are you?

James Michael Curley October 5, 2012 at 6:28 pm

As a result of the injuries he sustained he lost his leg giving him the opportunity to utter one of the best lines to a nosy reporter delving into his relationship with Debra Winger, "What can I say, she swept me off my foot."

fuflans October 6, 2012 at 12:42 am

i just read his bio and KNEW knew his opponent was going to be a bagger.

sounds like he's a long shot.

rock on america.

HistoriCat October 7, 2012 at 5:03 pm

I think we all learned in 2004 that all military citations from Vietnam are suspect.

C_R_Eature October 5, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Steve Martin must be high on Placebos again.

Lionel[redacted]Esq October 5, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Wish I could score me some of those Placebos.

mavenmaven October 5, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Watching that endorsement, I got small!

ThundercatHo October 5, 2012 at 4:06 pm

He has only to ask. *swoon*

DerrickWildcat October 5, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Deb Fischer is a Teatard that's collected a couple of Million Dollars from the Government for her ranch. Her nickname is Welfare Rancher. Also too, Janine Turner is from Nebraska, that's probably why she's involved.

GorzoTheMighty October 5, 2012 at 9:38 pm

Not to mention that she is ethically challenged.

Jukesgrrl October 5, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Now that Janine can cry thanks to her endorsed tear-making pharmaceutical, I hope she ends up with something to cry about on Nov. 6.

fuflans October 6, 2012 at 12:44 am

is she seriously wildly ahead in the polls?

calliecallie October 5, 2012 at 4:22 pm

The new phonebooks are here! The new phonebooks are here!

DahBoner October 5, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia.

Maman October 5, 2012 at 5:44 pm

NEEDS MOAR WINE!

That is the saddest wine rack I have ever seen (and I am something of an authority on the subject)

James Michael Curley October 5, 2012 at 6:24 pm

Give money or, if you live in NE or close by, work on his campaign. I met him several times as a friend worked at the New School. He is one of the most honorable people I ever met and did not deserve the 'Swift Boating' he got by the Bushies. Yep, I know most think of John Kerry, but the Poppy Bush administration started practicing on Bob Kerrey in 1992 when he was in the Presidential primaries I suspect with circulating to the press the "Investigation" conducted by the DoD over the Thanh Phong raid. Did Colin Powell procure a classified document regarding the death of civilians? Who knows? Colin Powell was charged with investigating My Lai only a few months before the Thanh Phong raid. So was it his job while stationed in Vietnam at the time to do these complaints?

Texan_Bulldog October 5, 2012 at 8:55 pm

I call bullshit. NO ONE cares about the people of Nebraska.

GorzoTheMighty October 5, 2012 at 9:23 pm

I live there. So I do, Texan ( pulls down hat, loosens gun in holster, spits tobacco juice on tumbleweed and squints into the sun as the clock signals highnoon).

AtwatersGhost October 5, 2012 at 10:52 pm

Moar Banjo!

Negropolis October 6, 2012 at 1:33 am

Though a very interesting man, Bob Kerrey is not what I'd call a wild and crazy guy.

It's really too bad he's going to lose to one of the crazies. Poor Nebraska; so close to Kansas, so far from heaven.

Forget it, Steve. It's Corntown.

bobbert October 6, 2012 at 4:39 am

Well, at least this will make it less angsty to vote against a Republican war hero (assuming one ever shows up on your ballot).

Serolf_Divad October 6, 2012 at 7:49 pm

I hear Deb Fischer has lined up a Chuck Norris endorsement. The ad is going to feature Norris fighting the disinterred corpse of Bruce Lee and beating him this time.

ttommyunger October 6, 2012 at 10:02 pm

"I heard you was dead!" Nope, I was only in Nebraska.

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